679,564 posts

**One Key Step To Not Giving a Fuck (Sidebar Post)**

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March 21, 2020
693 upvotes

I found TRP 5 years ago while Google-searching “How to get out of the friendzone”. Thankfully, one of the Google search results led me to TRP where I read post after post after post; alongside articles from Rollo Tomassi’s The Rationale Male.

During my first four months of finding TRP I literally read TRP all day long, day after day. I read through TRP posts as if I was studying for an examination. I particularly enjoyed the comments section, they were pure gold those day. You got even more revelation from the comments than from the main posts. I read TRP so much that my eyes began to hurt – literally and figuratively (“Why do my eyes hurt?” – Neo).

However there was one theme I kept reading over and over, yet couldn’t internalize: How to Stop Giving a Fuck. I won’t forget that day I clicked on a Sidebar Article which had been posted a few months before I found TRP – One Key Step to Not Giving a Fuck (Originally, The Guide to Accepting Yourself Even When Women Don’t). The poster deleted his account shortly afterwards. May the soul of his account rest in perfect peace.

That post changed my life forever. I later realized that learning to accept myself and not to give a fuck about many things is key to developing many other traits such as Frame, Abundance, etc. The post is on the sidebar, but throughout my 5 years on TRP, I have never seen anyone refer to it either in a post or a comment; hence this post. I’ll paste the original post here:

Recently someone here posted about how women define "average" in astronomical terms, based on some bullshit a girl said while shit testing him. Most of the responses didn't understand that he was being tested because most of the commenters aren't ok with themselves at all.

Quick Method

Know all those dating apps and sites you use? Know how you like to finely craft introductions designed to make the woman see you in a favorable light?

Don't do that.

Send any one of these messages that say, "I love me and I don't care if you do."

1 - "Boners."

2 - "Super boners."

3 - "I'm going to be playing video games all week but you can come over this weekend and do my laundry."

4 - "Do you ever get those crusties in your asshole and pick them out in the shower?"

5 - "Want to help me practice for my driver's exam? The police said I can finally get my license."

These messages are not meant to get you a woman. The responses you receive (you will get responses) will show you how much better this type of "who really fucking cares right?" attitude matches up against, "Oh god oh god oh god I'd better say the right thing."

And that leads us to today's lesson:

You don't matter that much.

Sorry, but if the fate of the world rested on your shoulders we'd all be fucked. You're reading how-to guides about becoming ok with yourself. So really you don't matter that fucking much.

And that's fine! That's preferable. It takes pressure off your shoulders. You can walk into a bar and tell a girl that you're a martian whose pants will explode at midnight unless an earth girl removes them with her teeth. Guess what? No one will care! Tomorrow CNN will run a headline about ISIS feeding babies to elephants and your pickup line will become just another blip in the endless history of the universe.

Corollary - Women will try to make you think that you should matter a whole lot. They'll tease you and ask you why you're not a buff macho kingpin or why you don't own 10 businesses and a thousand dogs. The important thing to notice here is: That's what they say, not what they think.

Most women wouldn't give ten shits about your income or dog breeding knowledge if you are ok enough with yourself to show them a good time. Confidence does not come to you by knowing that you're big stuff and that you're a huge valuable part of society. If it did, hardly anyone would be confident because hardly anyone actually matters that much.

Confidence comes with knowing that you don't matter that much and that other people really don't either, women included. So if it's not that big of a deal, what do you have to lose?

Nothing.

Little people often have big pride.

It helps them not feel little. It's a defense mechanism. Being defensive is itself a small and impotent thing to do.

Pride weighs a lot. It's one of the biggest forms of baggage and some of you have been feeling it in your chest for years without realizing it. It comes in the form of thoughts like, "What am I going to be doing a year from now? Two years from now? If all my dreams aren't coming true, I'm a worthless piece of shit."

Or, "I need the perfect body, most money, and biggest adventures or I'll be a drain on humanity, just another turd in the bucket."

Or, "If I don't bang every hot chick and turn into a fuck stud of epic proportions, I'm just another waste of space."

Guess what?

People who don't care if they get ass...get more ass than you.

People with shitty bodies who don't give a fuck...get more ass than you.

People who have zero ambition and are ok with that...get more ass than you.

If it is truly your ambition in life to become something great, then you will follow that ambition no matter what. You won't dither about it. You won't get confused and wonder if you're doing the right thing. You definitely won't beat yourself up about not doing it.

So if you're an ambitionless ham planet and you absolutely love your life, there's no reason to qualify yourself to women ever. If you're a healthy cut millionaire and you hate your life, well I can't help you with that. .0001% problems.

So make a list of the shit you love about yourself that women would call "immature" or "irresponsible" and then realize that shit is all in your head. Almost anything you do (short of rape and murder) can be awesome and praiseworthy if you love doing it and you're solid about that to the core.

Women will prod at you all day and shit test, saying, "Well a mature real man is like this," or, "I can only be with a man who blah blah blah." If you aren't ok with yourself, you'll cave to this type of bullshit instantly. If you're fully ok with yourself, you'll laugh it off and continue on being you.

Remember this:

There are no rules for life other than eat, sleep, breathe, and survive. The rest is completely made up. Clothes? Optional. Words? Optional. Bathing? Optional. Dating? Made up. Relationship standards? Fiction. Breeding? Unnecessary.

You could wake up tomorrow and pretend you're an African prince who has to drive backwards to work or else the mafia will come and steal your asshole. And that would make only marginally less sense than people driving to the same workplace every day to get money to pay for a piece of the planet they were born on which can be taken away by a group of people in a big building with giant metal rooms full of green paper.

So you don't matter that much and life is ridiculous. You couldn't possibly make life any more ridiculous than it already is. So don't go around acting like every little action matters.

Accept yourself.

God bless the original Poster.


Post Information
Title **One Key Step To Not Giving a Fuck (Sidebar Post)**
Author nevva_Again
Upvotes 693
Comments 48
Date 21 March 2020 05:04 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/356852
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/fmi710/one_key_step_to_not_giving_a_fuck_sidebar_post/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
ChangRolloabundanceframefriend zoneshit testONSstandardsgamethe red pill
Comments

[–]Adi_Tandon82 points83 points  (8 children) | Copy

One of my most favorite posts when I started my TRP journey, still a kicker today. Thanks for reposting this OP

[–]nevva_Again[S] 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

One of my favorites as well. It's rather sad that I still don't know the original OP to say Thank You. Maybe u/redpillschool may know who the original OP is.

[–]GetMeLaidAlot5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is humansockpuppets post. At least, I think that's what his name is. I remember this post from when I first started reading TRP as well.

[–]nevva_Again[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think it's u/humansockpuppet's post. humansockpuppet's account is still active. The original poster's account was deleted some months after making this post

[–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Does anyone know where I can find more from the same author?

[–]ArnoldT10001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

His username was trengod something

[–]RedNightOwl120 points121 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're right. Fuck you, and your post don't matter 😏

Jokes aside.. Knowing this dumps immense about of pressure in our minds and chest we carry with us everyday. You then start seeing the true world with red lens

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]nevva_Again[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's right in the post. It's not about doing, it's about being-understanding yourself and accepting yourself, even when others, especially girls, don't love and accept you. The root of the problem is that you want people to accept and love you before you accept and love yourself. People only love those who love, accept and respect themselves.

When you are more concerned about what people think about you than what you know about yourself, you always try do say and do things in a way that make you look good and attractive in their eyes. But this is exactly what make you unattractive. You'll always end up adapting to what you believe to be other people's expectation of you, which will always leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. People are attracted only to those who love and accept themselves. Accepting yourself is key to building self-confidence.

If you were to accidentally let out a loud and thunderous fart in a public place, it wouldn't be in the news tomorrow morning, yet I have no doubt you'll lose 1 month of sleep grieving over it. If I were to type your name in a Google search bar, I'm 99.9% sure I won't get any image result, yet you'll weep over "ruining your reputation."

If Donald Trump accidentally let out a loud fart during a press conference at the White House, do you think he'll lose a night's sleep over it? Never! He'll rather make fun of it to gain more popularity. Why? Because he loves and accepts himself, and doesn't depend for external validation from the media.

Donald Trump matters a lot; one decision from him can ruin the entire global economy, yet he doesn't think he should matter that much. He does only what he believes to be right, and doesn't give a fuck what others think. You don't matter that much, yet you think you should matter so much to look good in other people's eyes. This make you live your life to please others and not yourself.

The Solution: Stop trying to look good in people's mind. How can you possible be worried about what someone is thinking about you. What people choose to think about you is their own business and none of yours. This doesn't mean you should be a Dick. It simply means you should live for yourself and your purpose, not for others.

[–]EqualFaithlessness14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the post, man. Everyday I’m trying to grow out of taking life so fucking serious all the time. I don’t know why I do this. I can take shit so personal too, and it becomes this huge downward spiral. Ever since I’ve been injured and haven’t been able to play sports or workout on a serious level life’s been fucking miserable if I’m honest.

This post did help tho thanks again

[–]LotBuilder47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have probably fucked half a dozen girls after rejecting their offer to be in the friend zone. A simple no thanks, I have plenty of friends, my interest in you was sexual. If you are open to a FWB situation let me know. Then stop talking. The take away gives you more value in their eyes and some of them circle back.

[–]freshjawn13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed.

Honesty. It's this simple. State your expectations. That's it. You won't get EVERY girl you aim for, but even the goats miss a shot every now and then.

[–]ChrisTheGeek2712 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I personally haven't been friend zoned in a long time, but my strategy if I feel like dealing with girls bullshit for a lay, is to treat them like I don't care to be emotionally open or in any relationship ever, Because frankly, I actually don't trust nor see a benefit to do so.

For some reason, this causes all men and women to be drawn to you more and respect you, even works when making friends. I guess it shows a high level of control in a person and that in itself is attractive to be around. Admittedly, I still find emotionally unavailable women the hottest, and if I had to pick one to fuck, it would be the one that doesn't want to open up, even before my experienced and jadded mindset.

[–]grayhair60s14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post is absolutely correct.

Not Giving A Fuck is the most important thing on TRP, even more than lifting. Not giving a fuck will make you happy, and it will make people around you happy too. There's an art to it though- limitations as well.

Do and say what you want without being hostile or truly overboard. Don't tell cops to fuck off. Don't tell dick jokes to eleven year old girls.

Worried about your job? Use this rule (generally): I was looking for a job when I got this one, I'll be looking for a job when I get the next one.

[IMPORTANT NOTE: Lift. It'll help you to not give a fuck. Remember, though, if you can bench 400 and you are a tightly wound asshole, then you're still an asshole. You're not having fun and neither is anyone else]

You'll be interesting to people when you don't give a fuck- if someone asks a question you can give any answer you want. If you ask a question, it can be on pretty much any topic. What do you care? I talk to people to entertain myself.

Got a girlfriend that pisses you off? NEVER ARGUE. Lower your voice, address the behavior (also listen for and evaluate evidence that you are wrong/overreacting, in case you are) then make a decision. If you get the right outcome, then the matter is closed. If you don't- make it clear that you want a different outcome, and that you DGAF. Then move on, whether that is dumping her or just removing your attention for a while.

I'm 59. Outta shape. Bald. I say and do all sorts of inappropriate things. Here's the twist: I have lately learned I can bang pretty much any woman, young or old, married or single. If I can talk to her for more than three minutes (+/-) banging her is just a matter of time if I care to pursue it. Fun Observation: After a while, chasing pussy gets to be more fun than catching. Want a nice Alpha feeling? Turning down pussy.

Here's the thing- it took a long time for me to figure all of this stuff out. If I told a funny story and it flopped, it used to bother me. Now I enjoy the flop almost as much as the laugh. Someone gets offended? It happens. I'll forget it and so will they if I just move on to another topic or even just bail on the conversation.

I wandered into this subreddit a year or so ago. It took me a lifetime to figure this shit out. I wish the sidebar was there in 1979.

[–]Xercister13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I first started looking for reasoning and understanding, I couldn't figure out why things were the way they were. Then I found TRP and that shit changed my life. When you find a good post, it is a perfect reminder that in the end, the only thing that matters is you and your life. Everyone else is just an NPC.

Now when I read these posts, I get a sense of motivation. Another shot in me to keep me moving toward my own goals and living the best life I want. I can remember the moment it all changed. It was the moment I stopped giving a fuck about things that didn't matter, women being one of them.

With women, these are the two biggest things I've learned. You cannot negotiate desire and be alpha. If you only ever learn two things, these two will push you in the right direction. Don't go for women who don't want to be with you and don't let yourself be turned into a beta bitch who is only out to please women.

[–]VinterBot15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone will die. Everyone you ever knew, will know, and will never meet. You are going to die. So am I and so is OP.Nobody will care about us, shit, most people already don't.

So live your life without regrets, because you and you alone are the one that cares.

[–]RobbyHagan5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

A-fucking-men!

TRP is an awesome tool for men. I wish I stumbled upon it sooner but whatever, it is what it is. I was crippled with anxiety about "I have to say/do the right thing" when speaking to a woman. Luckily, I found forums like TRP, and I read this awesome book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" that I highly recommend for all men, especially those dealing with self-confidence issues.

Great post my dude

[–]Rexile4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The reason why people get unconfident because they're focusing on who they aren't instead of focusing who they are. Stop living up to other people standards and views.

[–]FinancierGuru4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice.

DO NOT qualify yourself to a woman..

[–]BallinPoint6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm gonna jerk off to this

[–]_do_not_read_this_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This post made me LOL out loud!

[–]WickedKoran2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I fucking love this, good job dude

[–]ChrisTheGeek272 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, this is something that should be taught to everyone growing up. To add to that, it's important to not give a fuck about anyone that isn't your family or people you trust. In other words, the only women you should sacrifice your well being for is your family that you love.

The moment you become dependant on someone else that isn't family puts pressure on them and encourages them to leave. The world is cruel, and has no sympathy for emotional people. It could win you the lottery one day, and kill your whole family the next day. And if you have no family that loves you, you're on your own. No matter how much it hurts.

[–]medium_dip2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Well yea but this don't work if you want LTR

[–]nevva_Again[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It does. Until you properly cultivate this attitude, you've can't develop self-confidence, frame and abundance mentality-traits without which you cannot maintain a successful LTR.

Do more sidebar reading, as well as very old posts. IDGAF attitude doesn't mean you should be a dick.

[–]BeijingTurkey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

do you have any recommendations on very old posts. i liked this one alot.

[–]medium_dip-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hhhhh hey man I don't want to disappoint you but after 1 year of living with each other you both will want someone new but we men have honor women don't so you must give a fuck and give her something she can't get anywhere else and don't want to lose unless you want your kids to have mental problems cause divorce

[–]hockeyaddict8714 points15 points  (8 children) | Copy

I just tried the laundry line on tinder let’s see how it works

[–]nevva_Again[S] 67 points68 points  (2 children) | Copy

You shouldn't care how it works. That's the message of the post.

[–]Cvevea325 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the only mark you leave on most of the readers. They'll just find the pickup line and ignore the rest of the post.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[removed]

[–]hockeyaddict87-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Usually true but corona has changed the dynamic a little bit

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]nevva_Again[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, I'm glad for you. Without TRP you would rather be wondering what to do for her.

[–]RivenHalf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are invested in if it works so it wont work...you missed the message

[–]Hviterev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks! One of the very rare high quality post.

[–]kynikos9975 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

In my own experience, it really helps if you have a class A narcissistic personality like I do.

I think I am a superior human being and should be worshiped.

[–]deepakjohn90000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Chew my left ball am better than you - Patrice O'Neal

[–]kynikos9970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Unfortunately one of my 'balls' is larger in size, this creates an imbalance and makes doing menial tasks incredibly difficult.

[–]deville051 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't know man.. Why am I on tinder in the first place if i dont care to be liked by women? Secondly am I not just writing the things you said things to attract the women who are attracted to these kinds of lines? Instead of the women who would be attracted to the lines I am not typing anymore. Anyway i guess what am I trying to say is that why am I taking advice from you and changing my tinder line to show women n that I don't care if they love me, IF I really don't care that they love me. Why am I even trying?

[–]ProductivityMonster3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

you still should go after what you want - which for most men is women. It's just doing it in a way that serves you, not them.

[–]dark_g0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; --read "men" as generic, both men and women, and Rudyard Kipling's "If" touches on TRP territory.

[–]SlaughterDoi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been feeling sick lately, and when I got to a doctor, surprisingly he told me everything I felt was anxiety/stressed induced. He basically told me just not to worry and tho he gave me meds, he clearly stated "If you forget to take em, dont worry about it.". Ended up eating what I wanted to eat, doing shit I was happy doing, and the less I think, the happiee I got. Not giving a shit is a necessity.

[–]menoyzoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The red pill is about putting the focus on the men rather than woman. It's one of the fundamental blocks of any principal in here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My favorite post, this shit changed my life

[–]ORIGINAL-Hipster0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is the gayest shit I've ever read, thanks I think.

[–]Swimming-Syllabub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So u have never read the sidebar before?



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