Unattractive men are not empathetic towards unattractive women

eboy4hire · 2020-03-20T17:35:08+00:00

I am empathetic towards them though. I feel bad for anyone who's unattractive.

katiesaysthings · 2020-03-21T06:51:50+00:00

I wish men knew how utterly lame sex can be from a woman's perspective.

tommydagun · 2020-03-20T21:43:52+00:00

I don't think either sex is particularly great at empathizing with the other.

As far as unattractive men go, there's a quote from Vox Day about "omega males" (the lowest rung on his version of the socio-sexual hierarchy) that is relevant: "Omegas can be the most dangerous of men because the pain of their constant rejection renders the suffering of others completely meaningless in their eyes."

Big_Jomez · 2020-03-20T18:21:54+00:00

I don't want to sound like a dick, but this reeks of entitlement. If women didn't want to be having random sex (while being treated like dirt according to the other comments) then they wouldn't be having random sex with a random drunkard. If you guys found absolutely no benefit to it, then it wouldn't happen much. But it is. Because women enjoy sex too, believe it or not. Hence, if they get the chance to fuck a man they're attracted to, they're damn well going to take it. Theres enjoyment in that.

So why would empathy or sympathy for unattractive women be on equal footing with unattractive men when, A. They can achieve 1 of the 2 things that are desirable to people: Sex. The other being relationships which according to other posters ugly women arent getting (to which I totally disagree but that's another topic) B. Unattractive men can't seem to get either. Not sex, not relationships. It's a little unequal.

Yes, the different genders value them differently of course. But EVERYONE loves sex. Not just men. Whether it's from a partner or a random drunkard. Just because men and women value them differently according to you guys doesnt mean random sex is absolutely worthless to women. If it was they just wouldn't have have sex unless they were in a relationship. Even when looking at relationships. Sex aside. Ugly women have an infinitely easier time getting them than ugly men (just because they can't land a relationship with men out of their league doesn't mean they can't get one in general)

So to put things into perspective, the options for everybody are:

Unattractive women:

-Be able to have sex with many males if you are willing. They might not treat you well though. It's just meaningless sex (to the guy)

-hard to get into relationships, but still possible. They could very well find a man that's on their same level if they so wished. Statistically, ugly women have a far higher chance of getting relationships than ugly men. Simply because if many people are willing to fuck you, theres a chance at least one of them will be willing to stay with you. Not only that, the threshold to become relationship material is far, far lower for women than men. You can at least agree with that.

Unattractive men:

-the majority of women find you repulsive, so no strings attached (Fwb, random casual) sex is out of the window. Basically hire a prostitute or become higher value.

-very, very hard to get into a relationship unless you have money. It's harder to get into relationships than unattractive females. Simply because of the fact of the disparity between male and female standards for the opposite sex. Bottom line: 0 sex, 0 relationships, 0 hope for a happy life. Basically have money, or become higher value. No other options. To be in a relationship you need to be willing to have sex with that person, and due to the female standard for men, many guys aren't "worthy" of sex. So they aren't worthy of relationships, unless it's for money. I'm being a little pessimistic. Plenty of unattractive dudes find relationships. Just trying to illustrate how hard it is comparatively. Key word: comparitively.

Average women:

-easily able to have casual sex 9 days of the week with 18 different men if they so chose

-can easily get relationships with many men of differing quality

Average men:

-casual sex possible. Still very difficult. Under most circumstances women arent throwing themselves at them to have no strings attached sex since they can just fuck the top 20% if they just wanted sex.

-has many prospects for relationships. Hes in the clear.

Top 20% of both:

-casual sex extremely easy to acquire

-relationship extremely easy to acquire

It's a little uneven, no? At the very end of the day op, you're an unattractive woman who can get "humiliating" sex from many men and relationships are harder to come by. But if you were a man and just as unattractive wouldn't things because even harder for you still? If you were a man you'd get 0 sex (which men value highly) and 0 relationships (which they still value). DESPITE THAT, sure you still deserve pity points. You're going through a hard time. But of course you can see why some men might see your problems as less dire than theirs (thus "deserving" less empathy)

Why are men less sympathetic or empathetic to unattractive women? Basically, It's much akin to a starving African child looking at 1st world middle class child complaining that his parents didnt let him order a pizza and forced him to eat what's at home.

Now, that aside. Please tell me are there any women unattractive or otherwise that have anything other than 0 empathy, 0 sympathy or disgust for the unattractive male? I've explained why men don't. So why don't women have any empathy? That's something I'd love to see. The thing is there's very little empathy. For both sides I guess. Cause the world is shit, humans are assholes etc. etc.

Thoughts, anyone?

samwise-gamggee · 2020-03-20T15:48:31+00:00

As a man I've struggled with rejection as well. I'm an attractive guy, but I don't have an education or "good job" (I actually love the jobs I've had organic farmer, health food stores etc). I been left in the dust over and over again. It sucks because it feels like I'm good enough to sleep with, good enough for the short term, but ultimately these ladies move on to guys with dolla bills despite that allot of times they don't really love them.

The take away is that it's tough being human. Nobody knows what they what except that they want it all!

Cicero_Johnson · 2020-03-20T19:19:03+00:00

For the most part, men don't care about what other humans go through.

Oh sure, some will voice displeasure over the fact that more blacks get rousted by the police, or that some other guy lost his legs in a war, but only for as long as until the pre-game show comes on the TV. And even then usually if they are well-fed, well-employed, and well-sexed. Take any of those three out of the equation, and most men will only think about how unfair life is treating them.

Right now.

And, always.

Part of the equation is men are taught to not ask for help, nor count on other people bailing us out of our problems. We are supposed to brass it out to the point of falling on our swords when told to. Because we don't expect to have anyone else think about is, we don't think about what other people go through.

And on those rare occasions we do think about such, rarely do we really care.

But when someone else has what we wish we had? We covet. A poor man will see a rich man drive by, and spit on his car. A hungry man will hate others whom he knows has food. A lonely man will hate a man who does well with women -- AKA "Chad".

A men who is not getting laid will not only hate Chad, but he will hate the women whom he feels are not treating him fairly--by their not spreading their legs for him whenever he wishes. He looks at the fact that a woman can get unlimited sex, looks at the fact he gets none, and will hate women--not only for the ones who do "give up" lots of sex, he will also hate the ones that could get unlimited sex but choose not to.

Your ability to have what he covets makes him angry simply because you have what he wants.

In the mind of a man who wishes he could get more sex, both sluts and LTR women are fodder for his hate--the latter for not giving him sex, and the former for not giving him sex WHILE she also gives sex to Chad--a man he hates almost as much as he hates her.

Throw in an over-abundance of testosterone--which nature gave us so we would not think about danger so that we would fight off challengers to our food and sex possibilities--and you have a wicked set of things making for very, very angry men.

*I* know women are constrained by their own biology AND the societal rules thrust upon them. But I still wish *I* could walk into a sorority house and announce, "Form a line girls--my dick needs lots of sucking!" And because women have the opportunity to do stuff like that--which I might like to do on a random Friday night--I understand envying women.

I am not saying it is right--in fact, it is 100% self-defeatist. And, it also wrong because it makes one view women as "the enemy".

So there is the problem.

You want a solution?

There isn't one.

In issues of race or religious prejudice, the solution is easy. You do awareness training and all the other stuff that promotes learning that others are like self, and the problem, over time, lessens. Gender-hate? Can't be solved that way because when all is said and done, men still want what is between a woman's legs, and they have few hundred million years of biology driving them to put their dicks in as many women as possible, along with increasing testosterone overdose if they don't.

In the movie "48 Hours" Eddie Murphy's charter was speaking honestly when he said, "Lack of pussy makes you brave!" It is the truth. We get angrier and angrier. Testosterone levels keep rising with out any other countering chemicals being released due to sex or love.

And it is the fault of those god-damned BITCHES!!!

Men will find 10,000 reasons why they are being treated unfairly, and as long as they are not getting laid regularly, no amount of sensitivity training will overcome it.

The Red Pill/Incel/Anyone who blames women for their own lack of sex--write them off. They are lost. You cannot reach them--you cannot change them. They hate you and it is YOUR fault that they hate you and they will find 10,000 blatantly stupid "logical" reasons why THEIR view of you is correct.

Eventually, some of them might outgrow it. Testosterone levels go down with age... They work on other aspects of their lives which turn their attention from, "Why are they doing this to me???" over to "What negative things am I doing to myself?"... They find a good woman and she is inconsistent with their world view...

Some of them will eventually, on their own, come around.

But there ain't no interventions that will work. No awareness training. No sensitivity speeches. None of those things will work because biology is programmed to make a man who isn't getting laid angrier and angrier until his aggression gets him laid, or dead.

That is hard-wired into us. Because as far as nature is concerned, any man who is not fucking or fighting is a waste. They serve no purpose in the natural world. They are not advancing the species.

So nature has coded us to do one, the other, or both.

And until we do... things just keep getting darker inside...

SeemedGood · 2020-03-20T20:58:51+00:00

If such women were having sex with men because they wished to have a sexual interaction with the men with whom they are choosing to have sex then the "at least you get sex" argument holds.

The reason it doesn't hold is because such women are trying to use the sexual interaction to get some utility other than sexual interaction from the men with whom they are choosing to have sex.

Does such use of sex as a tool to get some other utility deserve empathy?

I suppose that in a way it does - the same empathy one would have for a prostitute whose John stiffed her. That, however, would presume that the prostitute and John in question had both agreed to clearly stipulated terms of exchange beforehand. If not then the prostitute's use of sex to garner some other utility would seem more manipulative, and thus less deserving of empathy.

But yes, "ugly" women that hew to objectifying and wholly unrealistic standards of what they "deserve" in a boyfriend do indeed have it rough - particularly when (as is often the case) their external ugliness is actually just a reflection of their inner ugliness, which consequently makes them unable to even notice the men who might love them despite their ugliness because they find such men less attractive than what they feel they deserve for one (usually shallow) reason or another.

2020-03-20T19:43:31+00:00

Because men on the whole are empathetic unless the women is a 10/10 Stacy who worships them. Other than that men do not empathize unless they get an immediate material or physical gain.

Sigma1979 · 2020-03-20T15:13:53+00:00

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imnotfeelingsogood69 · 2020-03-20T22:50:24+00:00

Women telling men that “sex isn’t important” when they can get sex easily is like a billionaire telling a homeless person that money isn’t important.

Women don’t need to orgasm to feel pleasure. And they can have sex with sober men.

virtual_rice · 2020-03-20T14:13:58+00:00

Whenever this topic comes up, I always see the usual ~~strawman~~ argument. Women claiming that getting sex is easy, but getting into a relationship is difficult. They claim that there are dozens, even hundreds of men clamoring for their attention and "just sex".

I can only imagine the lack of self-awareness needed to maintain this view. If men are still approaching you, yet none of them are good enough, then the problem is with you and not the men.

Edit: Okay, I misused the term "strawman".

shinypants117 · 2020-03-20T16:00:10+00:00

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drsherbert · 2020-03-21T05:33:59+00:00

If men lack empathy for unattractive women, it’s probably because those women have standards way above their SMV. Therefore, those women also reject unattractive men too. So of course they’re pissed off at them. In fact, probably more pissed at them than attractive women because the unattractive women are delusional in their mate selection.

cheezypussy · 2020-03-20T14:59:47+00:00

If you're truly ugly, then sure. But most women can get attention from men, not the other way around, if we're basing things on looks.

The OKCupid study says it all. 'Normal' looking men are considered below average or ugly to women. Average looking women look, well, average looking, to most men.

So there probably is an empathy gap because in reality, women get attention and men don't.

Wayfall · 2020-03-20T20:36:44+00:00

I actually care more about getting the girl off than myself, that's just me.

Also, I have been around girls most dudes find unattractive while I didn't feel the same and for some reason when I tried to approach and make a convo with them they come across as cagey so I have no clue what they wanted in the end. Weren't happy attractive dudes weren't approaching them and whey they did they just froze like a Mei.

2020-03-20T21:06:03+00:00

This attitude was reflected in how I interacted with some women I met in college. Therr was one ugly chick who was clearly more into me than i was into her. I might've been ok with dating her due to her personality and interests if she didn't have such a manly face/frame and oily skin. I felt bad about breaking things off with her before we became serious, but in hindsight a lot of that was rooted in pity for her because of her looks. Idk if my story helps or hurts your argument, but thought it'd be nice to share.

myrainyday · 2020-03-20T21:43:25+00:00

Question: define ugly woman?

Das_Ronin · 2020-03-21T01:45:46+00:00

It's not that they're unempathetic, it's that a lot of men simply can't seem to process the notion that women just don't cum as easily as men.

bkrugby78 · 2020-03-21T02:42:09+00:00

I'm empathetic towards anyone who has to suffer being lonely, never finding that right person. I'm in the same boat. What you point out though, I agree with. Lot of men out there throw out that line..."least you're getting sex." Whether it be towards women or men. For men it might be "god I wish I had your problems" when a guy complains about all these women he isn't interested in being interested in him. Grass is always greener, etc.

urethra_franklin_ · 2020-05-30T16:11:37+00:00

This makes me think of a monologue from an episode of Louis CK's show where he starts hanging out with an overweight woman. Louis feels uncomfortable about it because he likes her, but doesn't like to be seen with her. Here's the quote:

"I mean, come on, Louie, be honest here. You know what’s funny? I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean, the great looking ones, like the really high caliber studs? They flirt right back. No problem. Because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me. And why not?!"

Men who are actually attractive don't need to be with a hot woman to prove their worth. Unattractive men feel like they are owed a hot woman. They say that women should be less shallow and see them for who they are and not what they look like, even though they would never do the same for someone less attractive than them. It's a crazy double standard.

Gerealtor · 2020-03-20T16:03:54+00:00

Why do men present some random drunkard cumming in you and leaving as a benefit to being a woman? I just don't get it, you don't get an orgasm, probably 0 pleasure, your value gets even lower because men are crazy about body counts, you don't even feel wanted because you know this dude was just desperate. It's humiliating.

Why do y'all choose to do it then?

Sir_manalot · 2020-03-20T14:19:29+00:00

Unattractive men are not empathetic towards unattractive women

That's an interesting statement. I'd say "probably".

But also:

Unattractive women are not empathetic towards unattractive men

which leads us to the status quo which is polarized and adversarial, with women who are unsuccessful in the SMP not taking any accountability for not attaining their goals; and fingerpointing to men AND with men who are unsuccessful in the SMP not taking any accountability for not attaining their goals; and fingerpointing to women.

It's an impasse, created by everyone, where nobody wants to do anything about it, and wishing everyone else - but themselves - to change.

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-03-20T15:23:44+00:00

This makes no sense.

What is the difference between these pump and dump losers and a guy you choose to be with?

How do you know the hot guy you have a crush on is going to be better in bed than a random dude off tinder? What if your crush lasts 2 pumps and has a micro penis? What if the ugly guy off tinder goes all night and has a 8 inch dick?

you don't

Youre assuming the guy you like is better at sex. You might have multiple orgasms from a random dude.

This is good example how women project positive traits onto attractive men and negative traits onto ugly men.

2020-03-20T14:43:10+00:00

i used to be friendly with a non-attractive woman and i thought we could get together. got rejected. not that i don't have empathy for unattractive women, but you still have an easier time getting into relationships than I do.

praisethesun799 · 2020-03-20T16:53:11+00:00

What's this obsession with empathy again? Say they do empathize, what's gonna happen? Do you think people are gonna fuck someone they're not attracted to because "empathy " ? Lol

12112019 · 2020-03-20T15:54:25+00:00

No one is denying anything, both unattractive women and unattractive men are pretty much screwed.

wtffellification · 2020-03-20T17:21:45+00:00

you are overcomplicating this. unempathetic people are not empathetic towards other people

poopiehands93 · 2020-03-20T15:45:38+00:00

Just look at the Tinder study they did; unattractive women have a lot better. The only thing that attractiveness results in is meeting someone/sexual attraction and that can lead to other opportunities.

So if more guys are willing to fuck you, whether or not you think that's a better, that's a benefit. At its worst it definitely doesn't do any harm.

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-03-20T16:23:34+00:00

I do actually sympathize with it on a general level, but yeah. I barely ever see these men sympathize with the unsucsessful women who were unlucky in the genetic lottery and some even deny a women could possibly struggle. There seem to be women out there practically invisible to a good number of men who are treated worse. Sure having the option of sex is better than nothing, but why would that make them any happier? Thats like asking sexually frustrated men to be happy with prostitutes, as it doesn't fullfill more except for the purely physical element of it. It especially won't help if you don't care for sex that much. You'll still be pretty undesirable at the end of the day an you won't find something with more substance.

There's one thing I wanna consider tho (which is why I commented despite agreeing with a cmv):When they're constantly asked to sympathize with women by soceity, and they likely used to at some point, yet its not given in return and instead they're blamed, I can't really blame them for not empathizing. When the women don't empathize with the men, the men are unlikely to empathize back. When the men don't empathize with the women, the women are unlikely to empathize back. Its a cycle and they feed into eachother.

LadyFerretQueen · 2020-03-20T18:07:29+00:00

Preach! You say what I've been thinking very well.

I hate it when this gets presented as a benefit. I have been friend zoned by guys I really liked countless times. Sure I got sex from them a few times but so what? They were in full control.

Having random sex with random guys is even less appealing. I have never ever had an orgasm with a random guy I was with. Ever.

The worst thing is, because we're taught since we're kids that women are in control, women have men falling for them, when that doesn't happen (and it doesn't, we get rejected a lot) you feel you must just be the most undesirable female ever.

piguy31415 · 2020-03-20T18:52:36+00:00

I'm highly skeptical that a healthy weight woman who has a good disposition is unable to find a long term relationship in a western country no matter how shitty her facial aesthetics. You literally just have to not be fat and be nice most of the time. Unless of course you are holding out for Chad.

The_Whorror_Show · 2020-03-20T19:16:21+00:00

Nobody cares about men. You can't expect men to care about women. All men have a natural protector and provider instinct for women provided that women or society hasn't fucked him up. The ugly men have no sympathy for ugly women, they can empathise but they won't sympathise. That's the difference.

As a guy who isn't ugly, I feel bad for you ugly girls, but I feel worse for the ugly guys. You ugly girls will have someone to help you and protect you because of how men are wired, but the men who are ugly have no one but themselves. You think you're lonely as an ugly woman? Try being an ugly guy, even ugly women won't bring themselves down to be with ugly men.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-03-20T14:54:50+00:00

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RedPill_Dragon · 2020-03-20T20:23:50+00:00

So yeah it'll go well for you, but why not think of it from the perspective of women?

Because we are men.

It's humiliating.

So why do it? Why not talk with that man who actually values you?

higher body count = higher value,

Personally, I never thought this about men. But women tend to like men with higher N counts. I totally disagree.

brackenz · 2020-03-20T23:56:58+00:00

Unattractive women are not empathetic towards unattractive men

See? goes both ways

SolarTortality · 2020-03-21T00:50:28+00:00

Men don’t present some random drunkard cumming in you as the plus. Men present the naturally higher sexual market value as the plus and the fact that you will have many more potential mates vying for your attention at a time as opposed to a male of a similar level of attractiveness in relation to his peers.

See, you devalue the “drunkard” because he is desperate. What you fail to see is that you don’t have to be desperate, because you are a woman. At least you don’t have to be desperate while you are still young.

Of course truly ugly women don’t get these benefits... but it takes more for a woman to be truly ugly than it does for a man. Most women can be considered at least somewhat attractive if they aren’t fat.

SolarTortality · 2020-03-21T00:52:15+00:00

Being an ugly woman is like being a average man. You’re going to have to work.

LitPepe · 2020-03-21T02:57:39+00:00

I feel sympathy for people who can't get laid. I feel empathy for those who are actually trying to make themselves better for it

darksoldierk · 2020-03-21T03:12:52+00:00

Men are not empathetic towards a minority of women because they are a minority. No one says they may not have it rough, but you are talking about a minority of women vs a majority of men.

I've known a handful of women who were ugly enough to not (and I suspect will never be able to) be able to find someone who loves them. And, I mean, honestly, I've met some pretty ugly women. Like fat, pimples, sweaty, just ewww, yet they have boyfriends or husbands. But I've seen a lot more men who women simply don't want. I've known a lot of men and women in my life, and honestly, the bar for low end for women is much lower than it is for men. It's not that women aren't faced with problems, it's that significantly more men are faced with that problem than women. That's why the average man and woman will not acknowledge it.

projectblueballs · 2020-03-21T04:26:48+00:00

I’m empathetic to everyone I don’t care if you’re ugly as much as I care if I’m ugly, people like this aren’t the majority and there’s always the opportunity to see and talk to new people

We live once (maybe) Use the time wisely

Hate gets us nowhere :)

ifelsedowhile · 2020-03-21T05:02:22+00:00

One thing to consider is that unattractive women are more often than men as such because of obesity which is something you can control except for a small number of pathological cases. Men have to deal with short stature, baldness, facial aesthetics that are outside of their control.

762Rifleman · 2020-03-22T00:09:04+00:00

The crux is that male and female attractiveness are often based off different criteria, and female attractiveness not only has a lower barried to being "acceptable" for the sake of at least getting laid, but is also much more controlable.

If you're a man and short, or even just not properly tall (<6', 183cm), you're at a permanent and unalterable disadvantage. I'm properly short; I cannot change my height. It's considered the single greatest criteria of attractiveness for men. The more the better, usually. There's some pushback getting to 6'5" (2M) and beyond, but until then, the usual attitude is the more the merrier. I can't think of ever hearing about a chick who just couldn't get enough of 5'2" shorty guys, or how ugggh, tall men just made her puke. For about 90something% of the female population, failure to stack up in just one area makes you permanently DQ's -- no amount of muscles, income, or tailored Armani suits will change that.

If you're a woman, not only is your barrier to being acceptably fuckable much lesser, but male tastes are far more diverse. Provided you are not deformed or some hideous quarter ball of lard, there'll be a guy into you, most likely plenty of guys into you. You can lose weight, apply cosmetics, exercise, change fashions, get breast implants, all that. Female beauty is highly controlable for 99% of women, with enough will and effort.

Even then, women are still approached and wanted. Men have to do all the applying and pushing just to be noticed unless they're absurdly lucky.

Not a whole lot of sympathy. Your problem is needing to lay off the burgers, do some running, and get some cute outfits when you're thinner. You'll be swarmed then. As for us, if we don't meet something we genuinely can't change, we may as well just forget it.

I understand the struggles of being unattractive, but unlike me, ya'll have a ready and visible way out.

Who-likes-toast · 2020-04-01T07:26:48+00:00

That’s not true at all. I feel bad for unattractive girls more than unattractive men to be honest. There’s a sense of camaraderie I find with other people who are deemed unattractive. I fucking hate hot people tho. Don’t care how nice I are or whatever if you’re attractive. Fuck you

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-03-20T18:19:40+00:00

Except for the fact women can easily get friends with benefits. Which means she gets all the attention, intimacy and good sex with communication.

The majority of women not wanting casual sex usually have this one or two guys she regularly sees every other week for this until she finds a guy to marry.

Men cannot do that whenever, girls usually choose the hot male friend to do this with, the rest are friendzoned.

HollowLegMonk · 2020-03-20T17:02:07+00:00

I feel like unattractive people have it bad in general. I also think most people are not empathetic towards them. Before I heard about incels I just never really thought about it. Looking back on my life I took the fact that I’m not ugly for granted. And now I feel bad for not being more empathetic. I’ve rejected women I didn’t find attractive but I’ve never been a jerk about it. But I still feel kind of guilty for taking looks for granted. Now I am starting to realize how hard it can be to live your life in a small minority of very unattractive people.

One thing I will say is that in terms of OP’s point, from what I’ve seen a lot of guys are complaining more about average looking women and not really bad looking women. I’ve heard the narrative that an average looking guy on dating apps is basically fucked and can’t get dates, while an average looking woman still gets tons of matches because there is a discrepancy. Eteeem make and female attraction. But I’ve been saying for a while now that if men would simply stop being so thirsty it would balance out. The thirsty guys are the real problem, they completely ruin it for the rest of us.

Bntt89 · 2020-03-20T21:45:08+00:00

No offense but unattractive women are at the same level as average guys. They can get sex but generally they are invisible, maybe can be desirable to someone for one trait. Its difficult for both genders to get a relationships. But at some level they still do get attention from someone. Unattractive men( not just looks wise because they can work on other qualities) are literally undesirable they arent wanted by anyone women find a wide variety of things attractive in men if a women cant find something your undesirable. Ppl want things from you that's how relationships are if you offer nothing then no relationship. Ofcourse they have no sympathy they arent at the same level. Unless they are fat unattractive women but you can lose weight.

Also unattractive women cant do the conventional catch someone's eye and get them to approach. It doesn't work that way you are unattractive you have to go through rejection and be more aggressive. Approach guys, learn to filter the ones who will use you for sex, and also develop a good personality that attracts ppl. Like understand guys like sex but we like other things too if we can vibe well with a girl and have sex with them that's literally a relationship right their.

2020-03-20T16:35:09+00:00

So much entitlement like most women. It's as simple as this being sexually attractive(all women) means chances of getting a relationship are greater than Zero. Being sexually unattractive(incels) means chances of getting a relationship are Zero. How it goes is women assign whatever trait they want to a man who is sexually attractive but that doesn't mean they have that trait(loyal etc..) and end up getting pumped and dumped. They don't don't give the same chance to ugly men.

chomponthebit · 2020-03-20T17:04:18+00:00

you don’t get an orgasm, probably 0 pleasure

RP teaches that women crave attention and affirmation above all else.

Women will have sex with a man who pays her no attention just to get his attention. And women won’t have sex with men who already give them tons of attention. Alpha fux, beta bux.

See? Easy. RP truths right there

Ambarino · 2020-03-20T14:45:21+00:00

As always you are making it only about sex, when for men the problem is much more than that and about loneliness and a lack of love in general. "Well at least you get sex" is really only the beginning

neubs · 2020-03-20T20:28:54+00:00

I've been turned down by plenty of ugly women who I would have been in a committed relationship with but they still go around fucking guys out of their league and them complain about how nobody will commit.

2020-03-21T00:10:46+00:00

OP acts like she has no agency to say no to a random drunkard. She forgets that she chose to have sex with that random drunkard and if it was unfulfilling, you would think she would learn her lesson but sadly most of them do not. Pump and dump is typically not a one time lapse in judgment.

a1b1no · 2020-03-21T00:15:54+00:00

Why do men present some random drunkard cumming in you and leaving as a benefit to being a woman?

Username checks out!

zino193 · 2020-03-21T07:31:03+00:00

Show that empathy, don't just demand it - why not think of it from the perspective of women?

No sex is worse than bad sex externalities- oh my, what a tragedy he won't respect you after, or you on;t get to cum - horrible - all those incels that haven't smelled a pussy since they day they were born are all crying for you.

Also, it's never your face - it's your dieting habits combined with a hormonal condition brought by horrible dietary habits over years of self neglect.

That being said, there are some pity sex externalities that are toxic - the spread of the slam pig fetish is concerning - that can not be emotionally healthy in the long run.

OsazeBacchus · 2020-03-21T08:52:43+00:00

I (27M) practically never orgasm when I have sex but I still feel the drive to have sex, and having sex but not orgasming is better than nothing. Bare in mind most women are crap in bed, they get tired on top, give poor oral and end up basically just lying there about 80% of the time while you do all the work.

So personally, to hear all this cringe coming from someone with vastly more access to sex is kind of annoying

moldovan0731 · 2020-03-21T09:14:47+00:00

Women don't appriciate sex as much because it's so easy for them to get. Also, ugly women only have it rough (at least when it comes to long-term relationships) because of hypergamy.

Imsomniland · 2020-03-21T10:10:57+00:00

Men complain about the lack of empathy they get from women, but its not like they themselves are empathetic angels.

Ugly women are treated better than ugly men, in general, by both other men and other women.

You say (rightly and justifiably I may add) that women don't want to be treated as cum rags...which is fair. Nobody wants to drink a cup of water from a river that may be polluted. However most ugly men aren't and can't find someone to have sex with, full stop. So they look at your polluted glass of water and say, "well at least you can get a glass of water even if it's shitty; I have NEVER tasted water"

You complain that it's hard for ugly women to find relationships with men, but how hard do you think it is for men who can't even get laid. You think it's easier for them to find wives?

Essentially your complaint boils down to: ugly men don't treat ugly women the same as if they were attractive women, but dollars to donuts that those same "ugly women" disproportionately fawn over and lust after handsome men. In other words we could say that there's a hierarchy of preferential treatment and ugly men are at the bottom.

Parking_Willow · 2020-03-21T10:55:46+00:00

I just don't get it, you don't get an orgasm, probably 0 pleasure, your value gets even lower because men are crazy about body counts, you don't even feel wanted because you know this dude was just desperate. It's humiliating.

Who is forcing you? If it's so bad then why do so you do it? Oh, right, because it has benefits.

I mean, I agree, hookups and ONS can be depressing shitshows some people just get into to get any affection at all. But at the same time, you CAN as an ugly women. I have ugly male friends that can't even bag a shreklike woman. I hope you understand that for people who can't even get the sleaziest forms of affection it sounds like you whining about how hookups aren't fun is a luxury problem?

frankwashere44 · 2020-03-21T12:10:37+00:00

Why would they be when you have far more sexual power than they do? Which doesn’t only make it easier to get sex, but also get dates and relationships.

RobbyHagan · 2020-03-21T22:20:12+00:00

My advice to unattractive women:

For starters, I'll say the obvious. Get an attractive body. Don't shoot yourself in the foot. If you're already lacking in the face, don't make it more difficult by being a fat mess too. Other than that, learn some tricks in the bedroom that'll keep him coming back. The more time he spends with you, the more opportunity you have to show him how cool you are. Which brings me to my next part...be cool. I'm not saying be something you're not, but look for a man that's into things you enjoy. Find those things out early so you don't waste your time. If he plays World of Warcraft, and you like that stuff, clan up, quest together, and keep his nuts empty while you play. He'll have no choice but to stick around. If gaming isn't your thing, find something else. You like sports? Great! Put the game on, set out some snacks, give him a beer and a BJ during it.

You've probably heard, joking or otherwise, that men are simple to keep happy. Full belly, empty balls, and don't talk so much. Find an activity you both love (like my previous examples) and apply these 3 things during it and your value immediately goes up. If you're really hideous, then consider doing these things but also being open to threesomes. If he can bang a hot chick with you every now and then, his likelihood of sticking around in much higher.

This might seem harsh, but that's reality. Being unattractive is tough when you're a woman because looks matter more to men. That's life. There are no guarantees, but you can increase your chances.

glutenfreeSoyFree · 2020-03-21T22:31:27+00:00

Sounds a bit like FDS mentality

beyond_relevant · 2020-03-21T23:09:40+00:00

"Let them eat cake"

CarelessNobody4 · 2020-03-22T19:36:36+00:00

It's just so rare that a woman has nothing going for her. Even one of the worst female body shapes with skinny legs and almost all the weight in the upper body produces big tattas. I think a lot of women are unaware, but its not an unusual thing for a man to be in to calves. And even that has its variations- some like female bodybuilder types, others like gymnast types, still others like great big chubby but womanly looking ones. A 5'4 fat guy isn't going to attract a woman because he has big man boobs or because he has muscular calves lol. The gym can only due so much for a skinny fat guy, and if he has a weak chin with a gigantic nose, god help him.

But I did once date what may have been a femcel. She had no picture on her profile and wouldn't send me one. I don't know how to describe her but she had no curves, no feminine voice, just nothing going for her. I guess the only thing was her face wasn't masculine but it looked like inbred white trash type. I'm not doing her appearance justice. For her age I think 1/1000 is generous, maybe 1/10,000. I guess if you consider disabled and deformed people you'd have to rank her higher, but among normal people you see walking about that was her.

And for whatever reason I did take her back to my place, and she was fun to talk to and hang out with. I really tried to pep talk myself into that it was what is on the inside, but second date and I put my arm around her but that was all I could manage. I may have returned an offered hug at the end, can't recall. She set a time that she might show up at (there was some kind of event going on) and I said it didn't matter because I was working from home at the time and I would be there pretty much 24/7. So she comes and knocks on the door and like a damn coward I had all the lights off and pretended not to be home. To her credit she gave a little extra knocking but didn't really pound even though she could have as she was a big woman, didn't send me any nasty messages or call me. And whenever I think about it, I feel really bad. But there was just no way I could maintain a normal relationship with this woman and I'm pretty sure all of mankind felt the same.

And to put this all into perspective, shortly thereafter I happily dated a 300 pound woman who looked feminine and had most of the weight in the right places, so I'm hardly super picky. I screwed that relationship up, and after that I guess the karma Gods were on to me because its been a disaster.

Points- Femcels exist but they are super rare. Don't date people you are definitely not attracted to you won't be doing them any favors and you'll eventually find yourself in an awkward position.

eastboundzorg · 2020-03-24T14:49:54+00:00

Even as a mgtow I consciously try to be friendly and more accommodating to unattractive woman, I typically avoid verry attractive women because of the egos and drama. In my personal experience the more beautiful the larger the ego and accompanying drama. Edit Ps: ugly women are women I can work with

YveisGrey · 2020-03-29T04:02:18+00:00

Thats true why men expect women to be sympathetic to ugly dudes is beyond me. No one really cares ugly people can just date each other and stop complaining.

RachOfSunshine8 · 2020-03-30T20:03:39+00:00

If you have an issue with stuff like that though, there are always ways to make changes. Stop feeling bad for yourself and being sad that the world treats you differently. You create your own reality, nobody else.

Alphaojo · 2020-04-11T09:50:00+00:00

I support ya post

Turtlz444 · 2020-04-11T12:20:09+00:00

When you said men you were referring to a very small minority. Not every man is you ex, libtard

Farewell2Kingz · 2020-04-13T17:19:17+00:00

Yeah, I feel the OP but in the opposite direction.

MerryVegetableGarden · 2020-04-16T22:33:08+00:00

[deleted]

2020-04-17T03:34:58+00:00

Any unattractive woman can be above average if she works out and takes care or herself and has an above average body. Same goes for a man.

Farewell2Kingz · 2020-04-17T10:20:13+00:00

Uhm... Believe me - it’s definitely going both ways. I routinely am mocked for my natural appearance by very average looking women. I dress very well, that’s never the issue. I am good to be around, as evidenced by the fact that people hang around me frequently and easily.

Simple fact is that my face (and my age, 38) is what keeps me from getting dates. I’ve been trying hard for 6 months - not a single one. Unattractive women don’t swipe on my profiles, they ghost me just like everyone else (or add and never respond), they don’t respond to my flirts after social gatherings.

It definitely goes both ways.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-04-18T00:50:49+00:00

This is true, but if people are telling someone to “just lose weight” the problem is not their face.

wordsofearth · 2020-04-18T17:04:00+00:00

Huh. I wonder if that’s true. I don’t know if I am an attractive man or not, but I have definitely thought in my head at certain points, “I feel really bad that I know I can have sex with someone more attractive than that girl and therefore she probably gets rejected by men of higher attractiveness than her.” It is sad. And I do care. But it is hard to want to sleep with a woman I am not physically attracted to, unfortunately.

The idea that body count is a big deal for men (other than bro-jockish types) is kind of iffy. Personally I couldn’t tell you how many women I’ve had sex with and it’s not even a big number (not in the double digits). I’d like to think that high value women see men who care about body count as low value. So maybe you should too. Personally I find it a little gross if someone has slept with a lot of people.

Also, remember that your physical attributes are not the only thing to attract a man with. Maybe you even are quite attractive and just need to learn to feel a bit better about yourself. Because if that’s the case it ends up just being about learning how to flirt better and stuff like that - stuff you can work on and change. Maybe you’ve just felt so much resentment about this that it’s pushed men away who totally would’ve banged you. Could be wrong but hey - you never know.

I know I’ve seen plenty of attractive women that I wouldn’t sleep with for no clear reason at all - I simply don’t feel anything about them. They are sexy, but simply not my taste.

efraR · 2020-05-10T19:49:07+00:00

holy shit

hard truth

Dublin_M4ledom · 2020-05-30T16:48:36+00:00

The "well at least you get sex" arguement has always just seemed bitter and a sign of lacking empathetic.

If the logic above was true, then the kissless virgins among the femcels should be the happiest femcels, Because they have avoided the danger of some random drunkard cumming in them, as you describe.

Yet, by all appearances, the kissless virgins seem to be far less happy than those femcels who have had sex and relationships.

Drew0613 · 2020-05-30T18:18:33+00:00

It’s hard to be a stud and it’s easy to be a slut. That’s the difference with body counts. Unattractive men are not empathetic to unattractive women? When have unattractive women ever felt empathy for unattractive men? The femcel community make subreddits that have bans on males from commenting or participating in conversation, now you’re asking for empathy from them?

DeepCrimsonPill · 2020-03-20T14:28:54+00:00

I am empathetic towards the plight of women, and encourage them to seek high value men in committed LTRs. I have never blamed women for not putting out or splitting the bill. I just know that this empathy will never be returned by women or society in general, so I refuse to support mainstream gynocentric politics or any degree of feminism.

HeckleandChide · 2020-03-20T16:29:33+00:00

Break society down into four buckets. Attractive men, attractive women, unattractive men, and unattractive women. 3 of the 4 get sex. And for women, the standard to go from unattractive to attractive is “wash your face and hair and maybe don’t be fat.”

I get it, the majority of men complaining are whining losers who would rather complain than work on it. However, there are reality-based differences between the genders in the SMP just like there are reality-based differences in the genders in reproductive systems, weightlifting, height charts, etc.

asdf333aza · 2020-03-20T21:33:44+00:00

Metaphors:

There's a girl/Guy with a fancy and expensive car.

A poor girl/guy driving a shitbox car, sees that expensive car and wishes they had it.

Meanwhile, there is a girl/guy who is so poor, that they don't even have a car.

Op is the poor girl/guy with a car telling the poor carless person to be empathetic toward them. They're both poor, but having the car is still an advantage.

Having a car and having the ability to go places when you want is usually going to be better than not having a car at all. And I say usually cause sometimes the piece of shit car is going to take a lot of money and time and isn't reliable, and sometimes you are better off carless, but usually, it's better to have one than not to. Not having a car when everyone else has one and seems to be able to get one very easily, cause lead to some mental and developmental issues.

Title	Unattractive men are not empathetic towards unattractive women
Author	cheezypussy
Upvotes	800
Comments	459
Date	March 20, 2020 2:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/flvhi6/unattractive_men_are_not_empathetic_towards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/unattractive-men-are-not-empathetic-towards.357082 https://theredarchive.com/post/357082