This borrows some ideas from some recent posts, in my own original form and based on my own experiences.

Female solipsism and narcissism. A concern only with how she is perceived socially. Her social appearance and the feelings which it provides are her driving force.

2 things...avoidance of blame and responsibility.

With bad behavior. Her default setting is that she is incapable of seeing the world through your eyes objectively. She is not interested in seeing her actions through your eyes. Or how it affects you.

She is only concerned with her social perception, and how that makes her feel.

She acts up. I could not say 'that was shitty, covert, secretive behavior'...and have her agree. 'yea, you're right'.

She is only concerned with protecting how she is perceived and how that makes her feel. How she can rationalize her own behavior away. Even if it contradicts reality.

She will say 'no, that isn't me' and 'don't make me feel bad'. 'I am not responsible'. The only thing that matters is what she sees through HER eyes. And her eyes will try to see her in the best light possible. Protect the feelz.

Secondly. In a greater sense, this leads to one of their ultimate operating programs.

They are driven by SOCIAL PERCEPTION. Over objective truth. If they can convince enough people they are a certain way, then it becomes the truth. 

Even if the truth of who they are, or their behavior is contrary. Social perception is more important than cold, hard, objective truths. 

They deal with people, not cold hard facts. If they can convince enough people they are a certain way, then it becomes truth. Even if it is incongruent with their actions. 

To many, social perception is so intoxicating, it can lead to a blinding lack of responsibility in their own lives. They will do anything, fuck whoever, behave however. But if in the minds of people she is seen as a 'good girl', it wipes out anything she does. That's all just 'feelz'. 'Enough people think I am good, so I am good'.

This is because many women, since girlhood, were taught that social perception is how they will survive. Boys were given things, taught skills, learned truths, to lead and taught that their ability to work and create is how they will survive. That is our value.

For women, it is how they are seen by others. Women were given make-up, beauty tips, told to be beautiful and ATTRACT THE GREATEST SUITOR. How they are perceived creates their truth and value.

They will gladly and unconsciously wipe out a history of incongruent behavior if they can convince enough people they are a 'good girl'. If others perceive it, and she feels it, it is 'true'.

How to tackle this, is firstly how you protect yourself. Listen to the stories and images she portrays. Know it doesn't necessarily signal objective and substantial truth. It's what she wants you to PERCEIVE. If she can convince you to perceive it and FEEL like she is that person, she is that person. Her measure of whether that is truly her is not on objective behavior, traits, and action. It is her ability to CONVINCE others to PERCEIVE her that way. It's up to you to decipher the distance from reality to desired perception.

Watch what they do. Don't pedestalize. Watch for inconsistencies and lack of substantial objective truth to back up her stories. Words, images, and story without substantial proof is manipulation. Don't buy in right away. Especially if you don't see proof that what she says is what she is. 

Towards her. Always keep her on her toes. Always subtly hint that you don't buy into her bullshit. Amused Mastery. You're unaffected because you don't CARE what she is or does. But you're still the mighty authority, dropping hints that you see the holes. Tease her like a five-year-old girl who says 'this is who I aaamm', and believes how much she plays the part means she is the part. Cute, isn't it. She's a good little actress.

Always subtly play at her 'image'. If social perception is how she survives, you are the one who perceives who she really is. 'It's ok cutie, you can be the bad girl you really are with me, and I'll tell the world you're oh so good'.

You are a higher status, the authority. She needs your perception of her. If she can manipulate it, she's won. Drop hints that she can't. Tap and tease and pull at her frame. Not enough to show you care, but enough to show she's not winning or fooling the man of status and worth like the beta boys.

If social perception, image, and acceptance is her game, you play it better. You're not fooled, and you amusedly Remind her of that. You are the one she needs to convince the most of who she WANTS to feel like. You are the hardest to convince. 

And every time she talks the talk, with no sign of the walk, you gently remind her you really PERCEIVE her as a child