Going to the club as a Christian

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March 24, 2020

My views on this are a lot different and maybe controversial but take from it what you may.

I see guys get upset with other "supposedly Christian girls" going to the club. I say turn it on its head and use it to your advantage. Even as a Christian male, I think going to the clubs is single-handedly the best thing to help you master social dynamics (after lifting of course). Depending on where you live you have the opportunity to talk to at least 15 cute women, 5 really cute women, and maybe one bombshell on any given night. You can go out with these "supposedly Christian girls" and have fun and display the good qualities you should be building.

As a Christian, it should be even easier to talk to them because unlike the secular world your goal is not to have sex with them, but to master push-pull, become more physically dominant, projecting your voice (because if you do not the person you are talking to cannot hear you, etc.) It makes you more comfortable going for the number, setting up the date, etc. It also makes you get comfortable with rejection. You will also become motivated to lift if you look like a pencil.

Now I cannot say these girls will be "girlfriend material". I only have one reference point, the girl before my wife and that was a bad relationship all around (on both sides). I met her at a bar in June 2017. I tried to get her to come to Church with me (she grew up going but stopped when her dad died (two months prior)). We had been dating for two weeks and I asked her to come to church with me. At first, she was on board but then she basically ran because it was too much. I felt her slipping away the next week so I went to her apartment on Friday night with flowers and her roommate answered the door. I heard some moaning in the other room and we all know how that story goes.

So on that point, I do not know if it is worth trying to convert these girls at least in the way that I did. The only downside I see to this approach is it potentially could make you become a womanizer and putting being good with women as your mission instead of making disciples for God. I cannot say how to balance that since I am no longer single, but it is something to think about.

Post Information
Title Going to the club as a Christian
Author AlanNoles
Upvotes 2
Comments 6
Date 24 March 2020 02:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/357215
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/fo5oz7/going_to_the_club_as_a_christian/
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[–]SkimTheDross4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t see a problem with Christian girls going to the gun club. Good skills to learn and possible opportunities for mentorship. Never saw a gun club with 15+ cute girls, though.

[–]AlanNoles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh. I was referring to some of the good bars in Atlanta where the 20-28 year old's go. I was lucky.

In midtown ATL honestly you do not even have to go to the bar. Just walk outside and they are walking around everywhere.

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think going to the clubs is single-handedly the best thing to help you master social dynamics

While I agree on the premise that it is a good place to sort of practice with very very low risk and a chance to improve skills and build confidence, it isn't without it's drawbacks.

The thing is, that women in the club have a completely different level of initial inhibitions, sense of their value, presuppositions about your intent, as well as their own agenda too.

For example, it is naturally assumed in a club, any woman without a man with her is 'fair game'. Also, she is going to assume every guy approaching her is trying to pick her up. While the initial resistance could be really high, things generally escalate pretty fast if you get passed the first couple moments. Essentially you get one chance to make a good impression, she will usually give the obligatory test, if you pass you could be making out in an hour or sooner if you continue to escalate.

The downside isn't so much that you become a womanizer, that's a choice you don't need to make. Instead, you get the wrong impression about how to communicate with women and like playing free online poker, it can throw your game off when you sit down at a live cash table. Let's say you really hone your skills of pickup in the club, get tired of meeting trash, then try to use THOSE skills at a church bbq. You will fail miserably using the stuff that works in the club.

In a book I read called DAY BANG by Roosh V, he offers some really good insights on speaking to women in normal scenarios such as library, coffee, shops, or out in public. You can actually apply his method at a church related activities to be honest. While you shouldn't use this knowledge to have countless sexual hookups, the tools in that book are amazingly simple and effective to help you master the social dynamics when people aren't looking to find the best person to have sex with that night and alcohol isn't making men braver and women eager.

[–]AlanNoles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see what you are saying. But at the same time if you are trying to run night game at a church BBQ you have no social IQ, to begin with, lol.

A lot of the single guys at churches that I know just do not know how to let a girl know they are interested in them. Of course, at a church BBQ, you should not be doing intense kino moves etc. But if the confidence is already there you do not really have to do much anyways. You just talk and have fun and let the chips fall where they may.

The focus of a Christian should not be to have one night stands with the woman that night since that is unbiblical. I would say it is would be wiser to just go for 5-10 min interactions and number close. Then focus on getting those girls on a date and get comfortable talking to a cute girl and realize that there are lots of them. That alone takes a lot of the pressure off in this area.

When a guy enters this headspace he won't have to ask questions like, Where do I go for a first date? or What do I talk about on a first date? , etc.

[–]UpTanks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my opinion, Christian guys should go out to the clubs/pubs with their mates at least once every weekend or fortnight. It builds your social skills, gives you confidence that Christian dudes who sit at home all weekend don't have, provides great evangelism opportunities, challenges your faith etc.

[–]Willow-girl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Paul says (paraphrasing) that all things are permissible to us, but not all things are a good idea ...

In another currently active thread, someone mentions the importance of reputation. And that's the caveat that comes to my mind. Say you want to settle down at some point and you want to marry a fine upstanding Christian girl. What's your target audience gonna think about the fact that you hang out in nightclubs? That may well be a red flag to the kind of girl you really want.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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