Does having male friends helps with the loneliness?

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March 26, 2020

Never really had male friends, or rather the ones I had were really beta so I ditched them one after the other.

Before taking the pill I used to look for companionship into women. Obviously that simply can't be the case right now.

With the virus, I'm really realising how lonely I am. Does it get easier if you have male friends? I keep working on myself but I have no mission and no friends, and there are days I wonder why am I doing all these efforts for.

Post Information
Title Does having male friends helps with the loneliness?
Author redlurker9
Upvotes 76
Comments 57
Date 26 March 2020 02:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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[–]MatheusKeller168 points169 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lol wtf? Obviously having friends is a good thing and helps with the loneliness. It’s not normal to isolate yourself like that, find friends that have the same interests and similar goals to yours.

[–]RobbyHagan13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]jja2211 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

plus having 0 friends is not a good look when it comes to the dating arena

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Or, much more importantly, the professional arena.

[–]616e696d650 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

if i would knew this, i would not fuck my life like I did. i learnt the hard way. but its too late now.

[–]GetBehindMeSatan66690 points91 points  (13 children) | Copy

Ive always thought the idea with TRP of ditching your "beta" friends was ridiculous. Why? Why isolate yourself? Who gives a fuck how anyone around you lives their life. Live your own.

I get the idea of you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with. Again I find that a total BS thing to say.

Other peoples failures are not your own.

I have a couple "beta" friends. I try to advise them as much as I can and help influence them for the better. Having friends with beta like tendency does not make you a beta.

Be friends with who you want. Ditching people will leave you with no one. Try to influence those around you for the better.

[–]Filmguy00030 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree. Most of the friends in my life were very beta. If they are good people, I don't see why they should be ditched. As a matter of fact they may be more pleasant to chill with. I've come across lots of "alpha" dudes and some are cool but some are unbearable to be around (either too ADHD or too stoic for the sake of looking cool, self absorbed, narcissistic, or overbearing in conversations). Now, if beta friends start to become toxic as far as bringing you down, or become resentful because of your improvement, then that's when you drop them. But otherwise, live and let live, and let's all get along.

[–]GetBehindMeSatan6663 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]rplad4206 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly,and unless thier 'beta' behaviour doesnt influence you and they add value to your life it's important to have them.

Best not to think of them as beta males though. You might become egotistical and end up ruining your relationship.

[–]GrooveDive2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The problem is more with the nice-guy friends who will cockblock you and console your girl acting like she's their friend too. I think it's more about ditching bad friends, who all just so happen to be beta.

[–]hiaf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, beta nice guys in reality are manipulative people. Manipulative people cannot be trusted and are simply not healthy to be around.

Beta can also mean a guy with a weak character but that makes loads of money, or a beta can be a sloppy dude that smokes weed and plays videogames and jacks off all day.

Conversely, alpha can mean a guy with money or also a broke dude with strong character.

The idea behind the beta terminology is that they are not men of character and honour. Ditching beta friends can be beneficial if they are the type to stab you in the back. There are tons of beta guys that are good, honest people, they only issue is their weak personalities.

Surrounding yourself with strong men is the best course of action, but abandoning beta friends is a good way to isolate yourself and to end important social connections.

To answer OP's question, yes having male friends is beneficial. I have laughed with them on the phone reminiscing about things we've done. This has improved my mood greatly. For everyone who is alone, I recommend watching funny things and self-motivation to help as I have also been isolated before (during my beta days). Easier said than done.

The issue with some of my friends that are beta, is that they are always complaining about being bored. I suggest to them to use their newly found time wisely, only for them to continue doing the same shit and continue complaining. It's at this point that our duty as brothers is called, for us to berate them for their shortcomings and encourage them to move forward with strength, or else, we risk becoming a shoulder to cry on just like a beta orbiter.

My beta friends, they play videogames, watch youtube videos, smoke weed and watch porn all day - their minds are hyper stimulated but have been some saturated with consumerist bullshit that they are bored and their minds have been honed down.

To sharpen our minds, to be active - the pleasure of accomplishment, this is happiness. Boredom is a lack of creativity.

I still haven't managed to get them out of their hole they dug themselves into, but I persevere, I appreciate their company but if they do not appreciate my advice I am not shaken, I am disappointed by I cannot hold myself accountable for other people's actions. We are alone in this path of life, even family and friends are bound to leave us to our own issues, regardless of this we must do our best to maintain community and connectiveness while at the same time realising how truly alone we are in what we have control.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

Your 'beta' friends are lucky you are being a positive influence on them. If you were them would you be grateful?

Are they a positive influence on you?

Now imagine having friends who have a higher SMV than you, and them encouraging you to work harder etc. , in a similar light to you and your current chums.

The statement that you are who you surround yourself with rings true to some degree, you can't outright deny it.

[–]GetBehindMeSatan66610 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

My beta friends are book smart they give good advise on things like the stock markets and business. Not everyone can be Ricky Suave most Ricky Suave's dont give good advise on these things.

So to say they havent been a positive influence on me in one way or another is not true they have.

Having friends is so important especially as a male. We HAVE to have other men in our lives. Assets are important. I like to have as many as I can on a wide range of topics.

Some folks here dont live in great areas with other guys or Alphas they have commonalities with. In my honest opinion it is far far better to have friends in your life over none at all because you see them as "beta".

Most here need to get over their own ego's and drop the idea that they are "better" than anyone. Your ID will kill you and drive away very valuable people if you let it.

Most men have something to offer whether its advise or just bullshit with and make you laugh.

[–]Tousen71-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy

You get it. If you hang around with losers, you are a loser. It's that simple. It doesn't mean ditch them but definitely portion out your time appropriately and find friends that inspire you, not ones you pity.

[–]GetBehindMeSatan66611 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ill guess my "beta" pals make more money than most here. Id guess my "beta" pals have a better sense when it comes to business, computer science and economics than 95% of the posers here.

I do not pity anyone. I live with the impression I am not better than anyone. I keep my ego at bay. 98% of you are egotistical posers pretending to be RP but not at all and lack most of the major skills it takes to be truly RP. Most here are not role models or leaders.

If I can give good advise to someone youd call a "looser" when it comes to how they conduct their daily life I certainly will. If someone offers me good advise I will take it.

[–]rplad4206 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy


I dont really have friends either, but I will definitely try to sort this fucked up mindset of mine and keep my ego at bay. But I doubt this is easy, so is it best not to refer to them as betas?

[–]Tousen714 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Way to grandstand champ. By losers, you’re thinking nerdy friends and guys who are bad with women.

I’m not.

I’m thinking people that spend their time smoking weed, playing video games, and being unemployed without any grander aspirations—ya know, losers?

Call it harsh but it’s real. You only have so much time in the day and you should spend more time with people who inspire and motivate you, not the other way around.

[–]GetBehindMeSatan6662 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you on that Tousen.

[–]Howdoiusesync0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Though really I agree with you more but you see a lot of dudes here LARPIng for respect. After you go through 10 of these girls in America or NYC for example without doing much you realize they all the same. Though with people in general are lazy as fuck. If you’ve seen what some of the 20 y.o’s are doing is just being home watching Netflix and gaming.

The bar is set low for men now. Though I personally believe people who are simps with women are simps with irl stuff.

[–]Mickusey27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Heads up, super “alpha bro” male friends tend to be shitty friends. You’re not a woman trying to get turned on by the baddest boy there is. They’re your bros. Chill out with them and have a laugh. One of em is simping to his girl? Shit on him for it, laugh about it, maybe he’ll figure it out, you move on. Cutting people out because they aren’t noticeably superior to your outlook on life is some strange shit.

[–]zeitdruck5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The funniest stories are always those about me doing stuff with my friends. So yeah, go and find some new friends.

[–]i-am-the-prize6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

humans are social animals.

with males, if you're straight and they are, too, you can have a type of bond that isn't tainted by your sexual mindset. women are for that and for the other things they are good for, sounds harsh, but their softness, their fem, etc.

but for friendships, to be able to speak with f2f and have shared experiences with, male friends are a critical component to most healthy males' lives.

[–]kidsavagebze4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I feel for you bro. I would suggest getting a dog. My boy Max is 6 months old right now and I literally gotta see him so much everyday that I don't ever feel alone to be honest. He has his own personality and when I take him for his walk (while I do my calisthenics workout at the park) he has the most positive energy bubbling and bursting. He is always a good time bro when you need.

[–]redlurker9[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks but I'm a cat person. I'm not really into dogs.

[–]kidsavagebze6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then get a cat...if you don't have one already I mean.

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

burn in hell

[–]mikkeldaman4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Having friends in general helps with loneliness.

[–]LethalShade3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Definitely. A man is nothing without his tribe. Find other men that will push you in various areas. Doesn't have to just be game; find friends that are into business, fitness, spirituality, networking, cool sports, travelling, etc.

I've only really had to ditch friends that were only interested in meeting up to smoke weed or play video games. Nothing wrong with that once in a while but some were consumed by it and the more I tried to help them out, seems like the more they resented me so it didn't work out.

[–]throwmrwaway2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hell yeah man, having male friends is fucking essential and it shouldn't even be up for debate, have a good group of friends can be fun as hell, it would boost your morale and make you more competitive and shit like that, you get to do fun stuff, manly stuff that you otherwise wouldn't be able to do with a woman

Homies ftw

[–]Proof-Fortune1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn bro , yup it does man , get yourself some bros, girls aren't everything a man needs , getting and keeping a girl can be stressful for which having good male friends is good . Go and do shit bruh

[–]BruhMoment458861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously you need guy friends like everyone else to not feel lonely.

[–]cali3232311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get friends, but don’t do it to get rid of loneliness.

Raise your standards.

[–]Smuggler-Tuek1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Not only does it help with loneliness it’s necessary for your health. You need guy friends to communicate and bond with.

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I agree with another comment here, I wouldn’t just ditch all your bet friends and isolate yourself. Isolation is dangerous for many reasons.

With the beta friends I have, I try to slowly and subtly instill rp values in them. For example, since the simp meme is going around, I’ll jokingly call them a simp for doing something beta with a girl. If you an alpha, they will take what you say with good value and actually listen.

[–]redlurker9[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm 33. I've been without friends almost all my life. I had few here and there, but they were dragging me down, bringing me no value.

I don't want to play "I'm above people", because really I'm flawed and weak. But everytime I go and meet someone, they're weaker. They have no drive, they play video games, they're not in shape, they're doing a job they ate, they suck with women, they're beta, etc etc etc. I don't seem to be able to find men of value, and if I do, they don't want to associate with me for obvious reasons.

[–]Snowboard180 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Start talking to the bigger dudes at the gym once this virus blows over. Most alpha goal driven people you’ll meet.

[–]redlurker9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm one of the strongest people in the gym. Doesn't account for much because it's a commercial gym and I'm at 1/2/3/4 which isn't a lot (and not quite there yet with my deadlift). But yeah I guess I'll try.

[–]rplad4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck, that sucks.

Go out there dude. Dont give a shit about value, beta or anything. You are 33 and have no friends. Yes people lose friends over time but they have a couple of lads to have fun with.

Get rid of this shitty mindset. If it's people here on trp that's making you think of the whole "alpha beta" shit get rid of reddit. You are weak as fuck man. People aren't weak at all. Respect them and you will get respect. You dont seem to find men of value because you arent a man of value yourself. You are lonely because of this fucking mindset. From your post it seems that you dragged yourself down, not your friends.

I am 19, and trying to change this mindset of mine that's similar to yours as it's done me alot of damage and its primarily because of posts like these. I would never want to be 33 and lonely. But you are not too old. Throw yourself out there when this quarantine ends. Talk to everyone. Be charismatic. Fuck what anyone thinks about you.

Go to social skills sub, they have tons of great advice.

[–]Herdsengineers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a rule, I'd encourage all you guys to not just ditch beta friends. Maintaining relationships in good status is good for all kinds of life growth opportunities. You never know what those relationships will inject into your life down the road.

Now - bad relationships, or where people are using or all take and no give, those are good to ditch. But be a passive good example of better for your beta male friends, just don't get all preachy and better than them acting. And don't try to be a TRP missionary to them. It does require holding your tongue sometimes, unless invited to specifically comment more in depth.

[–]EqualFaithlessness0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Law 18 - Do Not Build Fortresses To Protect Yourself

[–]redlurker9[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm at law 7 right now :)

[–]EqualFaithlessness0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Life changing book, sir!

[–]moresmarterthanyou0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

which book?

[–]EqualFaithlessness2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

48 Laws of Power

[–]Nofapislit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]McDrMuffinMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Replace them with people who make you better.

But recall people who are typically better have little time for a charity case.

[–]mbox400 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you're in a group of all "alphas" then you'll probably fall to the middle or bottom of their pecking order. If all your old friends were beta, that means you were the alpha of that group. If you like to lead I wouldn't recommend surrounding yourself with a whole bunch of other guys that want to be in charge too.

[–]redlurker9[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd rather be the beta of an all stars group than the alpha of a loser group. Precisely why I stopped hanging out with them.

[–]mbox400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No you wouldn't. It's no fun feeling inferior, and you won't get any pussy if women see you at the bottom on ANY pecking order, no matter how much status that group has.

Oh... and being all alone makes you less than a beta. It gives the impression that you're a leper, ie rejected by everyone, even if in your mind YOU actually rejected everyone.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Male friends are the only friends who can understand the challenge and struggle of being male. Of course you'll be lonely without them.

[–]Folknust0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]unfluxa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would never ditch my beta friends unless they are super toxic to be around. Which is obvious for everyone to ditch. Just keep to your straight path and lead by example, they will follow.

[–]superomar130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a weird one and I feel like it goes one of two ways. I use to have tons of male friends (honestly became a burden to try to keep tabs because it was three main groups) and barely any females in my life. At one point it went the complete opposite way. I was just surrounded by females all the time and had like one or two solid guy friendships. Now i've recently moved about 4 months ago and don't really feel the need to have much companionship in either regard, at the moment. I'm in monk mode so my day literally consists of Gym > work> side hustle> sleep , 7 days a week. But, I feel like theres too much as too much female energy as well as too much male energy around you all the time. Currently I have 3 solid friends in this new city (old city tbh) that i keep tabs on and one girl I see on a monthly basis tbh. And I don't see those guys for a month or two at a time

[–]2319Skew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Studies show that having friends makes makes you less alone.

[–]darkprince_230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Friends are good for the most part. Just be careful with who you align yourself with. The older I get the more I see myself distancing myself from a lot of my friends who've been the same for years and constantly bitch about how nothing changes when they don't try to change anything. They'll just bring you down at that point.

[–]AGameofTrolls0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you decide to hangout with your beta friends again you're going to stand out from the pack, so that's good isn't it? Start calling them now and see what they're up to.

[–]bape10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What kind of autistic ass question is this. Does having water make you less thirsty?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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