Anyone else miss having a girlfriend? (srs)

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March 28, 2020
143 upvotes

it's fun spinning plates, having sex with different women but over time it just wears you down. When you're grinding on your job, study, gym etc. Sometimes it feels like a chore. And fucking girls you don't care about - is this really alpha? Sure it's fun but i mean i've slept wth some real pretty girls but often afterwards i don't even care. Just think there's more important things and more meaningful things to do in my life.

Can anyone else relate?

inb4 "you're a beta" "read the side bar!" "be alpha" etc


Post Information
Title Anyone else miss having a girlfriend? (srs)
Author cruelpain
Upvotes 143
Comments 138
Date 28 March 2020 12:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/357973
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fqj744/anyone_else_miss_having_a_girlfriend_srs/
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Comments

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy

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[–]qwertyuiop11122210 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

a 50 cent interview. he said every woman he has ever been with was simply due to circumstances

Hey, do you remember who was interviewing him, or what channel/show this was on? I'd love to watch it myself. I've had a difficult childhood, and have some admiration for what he endured, and became despite his early years.

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[–]RanaMahal12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

to be fair, Roosh did that because his sister died and he wasn’t around at all for it, cuz he was in eastern europe slaying pussy. he realized it was too much of his life being devoted to pussy, and it was becoming toxic for his life.

[–]bert_cj1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% 👍🏽

[–]leospace324 points325 points  (16 children) | Copy

lol this sub is such a joke sometimes. not all relationship are parasitic, don’t get stuck in that myopic view. there’s plenty of partners out there who help each other grow together and guess what they are living perfectly healthy and fulfilling lives

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy

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[–]LethalShade39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is TRP finally evolving into more than just finding materialistic ways to cope with emotional trauma? I thought I'd never see the day.

[–]RanaMahal24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

that’s been my one gripe with online TRP shit, is I never went through the emotional trauma so i’ve just been chilling lol. some of the shit people say on here is just so “i need a therapist”

[–]_nein_danke38 points39 points  (3 children) | Copy

very much this. TRP lacks specificity and complexity on a lot of issues. this works on some subjects such as relationships because making big claims, like tabloid newspaper headlines, gains more followers than it loses. it gives followers this feeling like they've uncovered a secret and anyone who doesn't know the secret is fucked. i know many men with perfectly happy relationships, plenty of money and doing perfectly well for themselves. i then see the aspect of many TRP followers who still seek endless validation through "fucking a hb10" and i cringe, because the latter think they've got everything solved whilst the former actually has a good life. i clicked on the question to say all this cos even as OP points out, there was gonna be some fuckin sperg tryna chide him for askin it.

[–]Noodlesoupe210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Half the time those “hb10s” are 6s with daddy issues at best lmao

[–]RPOpenUp1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

On the other hand, not talking about the red pill doesn't mean they don't understand the concepts behind it. You don't need to read or know the red pill to be red pilled

[–]_nein_danke5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very true. They set boundaries and don’t always placate the woman, all the do is strike a balance and it works. Some of these guys have been with their gf 12-13 years (and they’re 28-29).

[–]Godfist0475 points76 points  (8 children) | Copy

You can get in a ltr relationship with one of them if you want nothing's stopping you, but yah I personally found it boring to spin plates after a while. I find a mix of ltr for awhile and plates after is good you know mix things up. To much of anything gets boring after awhile

[–]Tousen7112 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy

Agreed that it's good to mix things up but getting into a relationship is at best going purple pill. Red Pill is understanding how women are (hypergamy, etc.) and that the more you love them, the less they love you. If you're Red Pill the reason you avoid relationships is because you know deep down you can't trust a high-value woman and that it's better to keep your investment low and focus on your own goals.

Therefore, yes, it's nice to have a girl sometimes, but the moment you forget AWAL is the moment you slide back into the BP behavior that brought you here in the first place.

[–]Protocol_Apollo68 points69 points  (6 children) | Copy

Red pill isn’t anti-LTR.

It’s anti-LTRing unworthy chicks.

[–]Tousen7111 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're forgetting there are no unicorns. Most of these girls ain't shit if the right opportunity comes along or you start acting weak.

[–]SamichezPrez16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

So you never date because you’re scared they’ll cheat on you ? Pussyyyyyyy

[–]Tousen71-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's not what I said. The point of being aware is to not get caught off guard and fall apart if it happens.

[–]RanaMahal9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

so don’t act weak. there’s a reason why they say that LTR is only for true red pilled guys who have absorbed enough info to maintain their frame during a relationship, and that marriage is RP on extra hard mode

[–]Krebota4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

All women are unicorns when they don't get a reason to cheat on you. Like being a beta, or low value in general.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can have a LTR with a good girl without oneitis and with abundance mentality. Then if one doesn't work, move on without getting depressed or wanting to hang your neck.

[–]The1ndex28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP doesn’t mandate that you spin plates indefinitely.

It’s not about rules, it’s about learning what’s inside the tool box, and learning how to use the tools.

What you build is completely up to you.

[–]bert_cj10 points11 points  (11 children) | Copy

Bro haha. Idk. This red pill stuff is cool n all but eventually most dudes get married and have a family. I hope when I’m 30 I have a wife who I tolerate and some kids on the way.

Take what’s valuable to you from the red pill, would be the best advice I have. For me some of the general messages are what add value to my life, work on yourself, always be improving, masculine frame, not showing weakness/neediness, dread game. Shit like that. Abundance mindset. There are perceptions that I believe now about women that I kind of thought in the past but now 100% believe. Like how they’re attracted to looks and status, and pre selection. That shit is all real. I’m just glad I’m aware of it now and not allowing it to aggravate me.

I was happy af in my last relationship, never been happier. I had my person, oneitis, it was great. I didn’t practice self improvement, I didn’t implement dread game, I was a needy bitch, i showed tons and tons of weakness I never stayed in a masculine frame, always showing feminist traits like arguing and yelling and my relationship went downhill quick.

Practicing SOME of the things on here that align with my values is what added tremendous value to my life. I’m not gonna stop working on myself, body, fashion, appearance, I implement masculine frame. Everything else I don’t care for.

A lot of dudes get caught up trying to implement red pill 100% like its all or nothing. As if you’re either 100% an alpha or 100% a beta. It’s crazy man. I’m not gonna sabotage a good relationship with a woman because some Internet philosophy said I’m a beta if I love a girl, y’all fuckin crazy man.

Maintaining masculine frame with women has made a HUGE impact on my life. It’s crazy. That’s one of the things that I whole heartedly believe in. Women behave so different with me now it’s insane to me that I didn’t know this before. Self improvement as well. Dread game is real.

Don’t live your life thinking “fuck I’m a beta cause XYZ.” Implement what will add value to YOUR LIFE. I was happiest in my life when I had a relationship with a girl I really liked, idgaf about oneitis. If I worked on myself and held a masculine frame I would’ve never lost that relationship. Im glad I discovered red pill, some things I don’t agree with and some things I 100% believe in now.

[–]ev3rynightfireworks1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

what does it truly mean to have a masculine frame?

[–]Hot_Pink_Knob6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

To have a masculine frame is to be completely indifferent and non needy. It's being with a girl because YOU want to, not because you need her. If something was to happen, you'd have no problem leaving her and moving on with your life because you have abundance.

It's having a clear direction and purpose in your life, nothing should be more important than that.

You should never seek validation and exhibit weak behavior, and most importantly, you must always be less invested than the girl is. There's never been a successful relationship where the guy was more invested.

Those are just a few off the top of my head.

[–]ev3rynightfireworks0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

list all the "weak" behaviors that are not completely obvious, and may also be completely context driven.

[–]bert_cj2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me. weak behavior is trying to entertain a girl, arguing with a girl, or getting emotional with a girl. Emotional to me as in angry and upset. That’s weak. Yelling is the weakest one.

[–]Hot_Pink_Knob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well I don't know what's obvious to you and what isn't, a lot of those things are not obvious to a lot of guys. The things I said should be used as a framework, but the principles always remain the same.

[–]bert_cj1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

What does it TRULY mean? Idk. To me it means being neutral regardless of what’s thrown at you. Not changing your mood/vibe/overall state of being.

Example: your girl brings up something that you did that made her mad.

Example of a bitch made response: get defensive and start an argument and change your tone of voice to angry and upset. Yelling and stuff like that. She took you out of your frame.

Maintaining masculine frame: Staying calm, speaking in a masculine tone and addressing what she said while maintaining your frame.

Masculine frame to me is just being cool, calm and collected. Shit works man. When you’re in a masculine frame she’ll be in a more feminine frame, I promise you. Been practicing it and sometimes I catch myself losing my frame, I have to check myself.

Another example of maintaining masculine frame. My manager at work tried intimidating me the other day by changing his voice to a more stern tone and asking me why I haven’t been producing. I stayed calm, stayed in my masculine frame, and address what he told me. He then entered my frame. Idk. Shit works man.

That’s what masculine frame is to me. Being in YOUR frame, whatever that may be, and not allowing people to get you out of YOUR frame.

[–]ev3rynightfireworks0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

has to be totally context driven. Sometimes its appropriate to get mad, an indication of healthy boundaries. As well, sometimes you need to check people.

[–]bert_cj1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I disagree, those are anomalies. Sure, somebody outwardly disrespects you, I'd get mad. How often does that happen though?

If you're constantly being moved out of frame, that's the opposite of maintaining a masculine frame. I'm speaking from a relationship with a woman standpoint. It's an anomaly to be moved out of your frame and it be justifiable.

[–]ev3rynightfireworks0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Idk, like others that post in this thread, at times I have a hard time knowing when to take shit, give it back- stand up or ignore it. It's my biggest gripe, biggest trouble area atm.

I think people's threshold for what "disrespect" is, is different.

[–]bert_cj0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean by take shit? What’s an example? In what situation don’t you know what to do?

[–]ev3rynightfireworks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

pm'd you

[–]dusara21726 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

Everybody I have ever met in person who just went all-out with the meaningless sex said that it ultimately ended up being far worse than just having a committed relationship. If you want any sense of meaning from your romantic life, an LTR or marriage is the way to go. If you want your sex life to be just a bit of fun you do on the side while you derive meaning from your career and hobbies, plates and one night stands are the way to go. Spinning plates isn't for everyone, and that really ought to be better explained in this sub.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's a TRP ideal that we all have, the alpha chadster getting more than he puts in. Objectively optimal, but not everyone's built for it. When it doesn't work for you, it's not wrong, it's wrong for you. Which is fine, but these people shouldn't hold back those who it works for

[–]Krebota0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah you're not blue pill for desiring LTRs. In fact, you'll know what to expect from an LTR far more realistically. And as long as it satisfies you while you work to improve yourself you're already doing better than many in this sub.

[–][deleted]  (12 children) | Copy

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[–]arcanepolar2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

oof. this is a sad take.

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy

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[–]arcanepolar12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy

and ive seen people married happily for life. either way, neither anecdote of data means anything. for yours, unless it was a horrible 45 years, sometimes these are just the chapters of life. doesn't necessarily mean you should swear off relationships, for that reason. with your logic, what's the point of living if you just die?

[–]hrm08942 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

and ive seen people married happily for life.

You mean you think you've seen "happily" married couples. Newsflash, what they show in public is NOT a real display of what goes on in private.

Just look at old couples: they don't love each other, they tolerate each other.

[–]arcanepolar1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ok but there's a difference between a warzone and a generally happy couple who have learned to tolerate, live together, and generally support each other. Some people want to still spin plates in their 70s? good for them. Others have chosen a different path.

All I'm saying is that just because a relationship ends badly doesn't always mean it wasn't worth it.

[–]hrm08940 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Times have changed. I want to believe in happy relationships, but I know better. You know the 50% divorce rate? Just wait 10-20 years for the stats in this social media era. It's going to get a WHOLE lot worse.

[–]arcanepolar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

who cares? if you got what you needed out of the relationship, that can be enough. why does "happy relationship" have to be synonymous with "happy ending". if the ending of a relationship devastates you so much that you swear off relationships altogether, then you need help with boundaries and loving (and focusing on) yourself first. sorry if that sounds cheesy but it's true.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–]arcanepolar2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

yeah I guess that's what I'm saying. LTRs that are enjoyable and lived on your terms are valuable chapters in life, even if they end badly.

[–]Pycnostyle3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I haven't been married for 45 years, but I have been married for 30. I don't think my wife will cheat on me, but if she does, you know what? She had my kids, kept my home, gone on my adventures, been my cheerleader for 30 fucking years. That's a hell of a lot more than most people get, so while I'll miss her if we break up for whatever reason, it's not like I'm going to look back at the last 30 years as a mistake or failure.

[–]mikkeldaman4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The world will always be split between the cynical ones who will give you every reason not to get into an LTR, and the idealist ones that will give you every reason why getting a girlfriend is better than meaningless sex. I think it depends on what you want and at this point you long for a deeper connection so there's your answer. But there might be times when you just want to have fun and fuck women, and that's OK too.

My personal solution in the past few years was to always spin no more than three plates at a time, but not less then two. But I genuinely care and love all of them and having more than three would mean I could not give them each the proper attention. At the same time it offers me some redundancy and I know that I'm never dependent of the moods of a single woman. If one acts up, I'll go to the one that is behaving and so on.

[–]letmereadthatshit13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

ltr are toxic are a waste of time, only beta have ltr....

wtf is this

if anybody has spun plates for a long time. You know that its boring and time-wasting .

LTR is great and if you find the right girl you can have a really good time together and be a team and improve together. Now that doesnt mean you can start failing shit tests everywhere and stop improving yourself.

Dude if you want an ltr go for it, I'm having the same problem as you . Spinning plates is starting to get really annoying and right now im just waiting till i find a good girl that im willing to invest more time in.

Go for it and if it doesnt go well im sure you will learn something new

[–]hrm0894-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

LTR is great

Spoken by someone who never had a true LONG TERM relationship. LTRs stop being "great" after the honeymoon phase. The woman stops putting out after a while because she knows there's no repercussions.

[–]letmereadthatshit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The women stops putting effort if she gets too comfortable. If she gets too comfortable it's not her fault it's yours. She gets too comfortable because you got too needy , you stopped improving and there's no dread. Ltr are great if you are great if you re just another loser ofc they will stop putting effort

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]hrm08940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You know immediately after you dump her she's already fucked another man? They will always have a rebound partner. If you're okay with that then more power to you. I just wouldn't be able to.

[–]Iluvalmonds837 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think the answers/opinions shared on your question will be colored by other’s past experiences(or inexperience) with relationships.

I’ve had Both great and not so great relationships; if I were single I would certainly miss the benefits of a good one because I’ve had one before and can appreciate it.

It’s also important to KNOW that any relationship(platonic romantic or otherwise) does not define my happiness/worth/me as a person. I am the source of all that; relationships only have the ability to add/enhance(if they’re good and healthy ones) to what you’ve built as a base for yourself.

[–]ArcangeloPT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Underrated comment.

[–]SavvyVolley637 points38 points  (13 children) | Copy

Not at all. I miss having a girlfriend like I miss binge drinking; it sounds good for a second, then I remember that the joy I’ll feel is short lived and what follows fucking blows.

Having a girlfriend is like willingly giving yourself a parasite that just slowly sucks the life out of you unless you babysit her on some TRP shit but who wants to do that indefinitely for one bitch

[–]SalporinRP3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not at all. I miss having a girlfriend like I miss binge drinking; it sounds good for a second, then I remember that the joy I’ll feel is short lived and what follows fucking blows.

Lmao well put.

That being said I have seen a few examples of low-maintenance hot gfs in my life but they are essentially unicorns in terms of their rarity.

[–]RanaMahal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

every hot girl is a low maintenance gf if you stay in your frame and don’t do anything to maintain her.

let’s use my current situation as an anecdote. Had a friend who was dating a guy who she used to say was “alpha” cuz she couldn’t fathom the fact that she was in fact dating a beta. I used to rip on him for being a little bitch sometimes and he would never say anything in response besides some random shit back.

they got into a fight and she ended up fucking me and then broke up with him because she “needed some time to work on herself” or whatever bullshit. she used to give him shit all the time and be a proper feminist girl and all that jazz.

now with me, she’s a submissive little housewife type. whenever she comes over to my place to fuck, she ends up cooking me something and doing my dishes and shit. this is stuff she’s NEVER done for her ex despite him trying to maintain their relationship. i literally don’t do anything for this bitch and don’t attempt to, and i have no doubt if we dated and i treated her the same, her behaviour wouldn’t change.

the reason why girls get high maintenance is because guys LET them

[–]kankouillotte0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

low-maintenance hot gfs

nah they do exist. But then, are they interesting ? I mean, beyond their physicality. Do you get something out of those relationships, something that's not sex or just a "feminine presence" ?

Also those low maintenance GF are like the others anyway. You can't take them seriously, you can't confide in them, you can't let them know your weaknesses or even stuff that bothers you, or else one day or the other they are going to use that knowledge against you to fuck someone else behind your back. That's the way it works

[–]cruelpain[S] 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

true i suppose, i guess i just remember all the good things. and not the bad.

[–]SavvyVolley67 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a trap. That’s not really for you, it’s for them. Unplug.

[–]LethalShade1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Don't get brainwashed. Nothing wrong with having a girlfriend. Some of the best times I've had were with my last girl.

This dude is literally saying that he can't maintain a good relationship for very long and he gets together with toxic women that suck the life out of him.

Find yourself a girl that empowers you and helps you strive for greatness and hopefully you'll never have to give anyone such bitter advice yourself.

[–]cruelpain[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think that's the problem with me, i fell head over heals for a women and absolutely loved her. Unfortunately, i acted very weak around her and the relationship didn't last long (7 months), and she pretty much started sleepin aroud the moment we brokeup/got back together (i blame myself for this). it was very messy and left me heart broken. Since then i've come to this sub and learnt from my mistakes and TBH, i am scared to have another relationship (because i don't want to experience what happened last time) but on the other hand, i'm getting tired for fucking random hoes i don't care about, even the ones who are attractive or good in bed. Shit just gets tiring after a while.

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Just learn from your mistakes and make better ones in the future. Use the knowledge on TRP to empower yourself without the bitterness.

What does being weak around her mean to you? Agreeing to any of her whims and wishes? Giving up all your goals/plans to accommodate hers? Using her as an emotional tampon?

Your work depends on the answer. Do some self-introspection on why you behaved in that way and fix it in your personal life NOW before seriously deciding to commit to another girl and you'll be just fine.

[–]cruelpain[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks man, yea just pretty much put her on a pedestal. This girl was incredibly sexy and real freak in bed. She was also super charming and loving, fun to be around and she quickly became highly addictive.

That was my first mistake

The second mistake was i lost my job and my confidence and self esteem diminished. I acted weak around her and always let her lead the relationship and just sat back. I was often depressed and didn't bother taking her out. I acted very feminine, needy, clingy and soft.

I have learnt all this but it still hurts TBH , because i know what i did wrong. And i really like this girl. I guess i got oneitis man, but i don't enjoy the company or the sex with other girls like i did with her. But now i just try and accept it and live with the pain of my own errors. I mean i'm 25 so i think, probability and statistically speaking, i should meet a girl similar to her by the time my dick stops working. But maybe i never will. That's life i guess :/

[–]LethalShade1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm sorry but I find this so funny because I went through pretty much the exact thing so I know you'll be just fine.

Mine was BPD. If you've read anything about BPD girls on here you can imagine the drama. But I studied a lot of content on here and had been doing self-improvement for years so my frame was solid. She still destroyed it. We had a crazy sex life for a while and that got intoxicating. I could literally talk to her for 6 hours straight. I literally considered marrying this girl and I was 23. When we broke up I felt all that cliche bs of losing my other half and my best friend.

I also fucked up and didn't have solid work for a while, let my fitness go and stopped going out to do fun stuff so we just stood around the house most of the time and she got bored. That relationship taught me so much though so I'm glad it happened and that it ended the way it did.

Keep strong brother and believe me, you'll find an even better one long before you ever need a little blue pill haha.

If you wanna talk more add me up on [email protected], I'm always down to talk about this stuff and I think I have a more balanced perspective than most TRP frat bros.

[–]cruelpain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kylegfall,

thanks brother

[–]Kidterrific3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did before I read this reply.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

who wants to do that indefinitely for one bitch

Economies of scale. Hint hint.

[–]DiskKiller26 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think Uncle Vasiliy, for example, has always been an advocate for long-term relationships. Just several of them, simultaneously. 😎

[–]kankouillotte-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

yep I tend to agree. This is the only way it can work, because then you don't care about any of them near as much as any of them care for you, and when one turns to the "breaking your balls" phase, you can just drop her without an after-thought : you're physically and emotionally free.

But I mean it's like having free hookers, don't expect more than that.

[–]Purplegetraenk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I personally rather Focus on making money/enjoying a peaceful life and fuck sluts or escorts whenever you’re in the need of sex, dating & girlfriends are a headache & distraction for me because I get bored and annoyed of girls too quick

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]The1ndex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This x100

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–]RanaMahal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

a lot of the guys who seek out TRP are finding ways to deal with their emotional trauma. instead of dealing with their shit, they prefer to spin plates. This is totally fine, but eventually you’re supposed to move on to doing other shit besides spinning plates.

I’m 25 and totally fine with spinning plates and sometimes LTR’ing one of them for an extended period of time

[–]hrm08942 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

emotionally mature girlfriend

All I had to do was read these 3 words to know you don't know shit about females or their nature.

Why the fuck do you think we constantly say women are children? It's not for laughs or entertainment. It's because it's fucking true.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "EMOTIONALLY MATURE" GIRLFRIEND.

[–]toastybagel031 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What you are feeling is 100% valid. I am in the same position I have been having flings for a year since my last breakup and it's not the same. I always felt like I was missing something. I recently been talking to someone that seems like it's going to be long term and it is so much more fulfilling. Sometimes u just want to be able to talk to someone about random shit, or vent about work, or talk about what's bothering you and you need someone to care. I would take a good relationship over random fucks any day.

[–]ArcangeloPT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I understand what you’re saying. After spinning plates for a while I got bored of constantly chasing and always actively looking for opportunities to recruit.

Eventually I let them all drop except one plate that ended up being my only one and this my “Ltr” since I’ve been with her for almost a year.

As I have read written here, I just let it happen. This girl actually stumbled into my life without me doing anything and I just went with the flow.

If it ends tomorrow, okay cool. Next year? Okay cool as well. Just taking it day by day and seeing how it goes.

That’s just my experience though. You have to figure out what you feel is best for you.

All the best.

[–]nonpornaccountii1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Bro, go get a gf - date a bunch of them, filter out all the trash, you’ll be left with like 5% remaining

From here figure out which one you like spending time with and has a temperament that makes sense. 3 things to look for (relationship with father, sexual history, ability to reflect and improve)

It won’t be easy but don’t get stuck in an ideology. Being red pill is understand there are rules to the game. Not exiling yourself from the game.

[–]Jamison_Daniel0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hey brother.

Can you elaborate on those three items you mentioned to look for? Soliciting one is fairly easy Id suppose but #2 would be tougher. What red flags exactly would you be looking for? #3 also is pretty self explanatory. Thanks.

[–]nonpornaccountii1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. The relationship with the father sets the precedent for all other relationships with males - it has to be strong & healthy

  2. Does this person have a pattern of long term or short term relationships with opposite sex ? Whatever the answer is, you should view them in that way. Don’t try vice versa (long with short or short with long) just save yourself the headache

  3. You want to be in a relationship with someone who is seeking to improve themselves and has the ability to reflect on their shortcomings and implement change for the better

[–]Jamison_Daniel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for clarifying!

[–]1InformalCriticism1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not really man, I've had a 7 year relationship (including a <2-year divorce), and just got out of a 5-year red-pilled relationship.

There is actually no meaningful or lasting value in LTRs in the current climate. Women were tolerable in socially enforced monogamy, but female nature truly does come out eventually when it is not pressured to remain disciplined.

What you're missing is not worth the cost.

[–]Wants permission to daternsbrum4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try NOT fucking those girls for a little while and see how you feel. We, as men, have to empty our balls somehow, perhaps your balls are not full enough for you to realize how good you have it.

Having a gf to cuddle and shit is like a drug, you get that high once and then you are forever chasing it. It does not work long term, it will play out exactly like the guys below told it, the girl will become a parasite and you will get heart broken.

The only reason to have a woman in your life like that is if you want to build a FAMILY. Family is what gives purpose and reason to the relationship of a man and a woman. And by family I mean a kid. Thats what will keep the relationship from getting boring.

But I do have another consideration, do you think that having a gf will be more cost-efficient? For example, you can find one that has a taste similar to yours and then you can do things that you enjoy with her, AND get the fucking. If you compare that to spinning plates, where you are forced to put up with shit and people you would not tolerate otherwise, BUT with a gf you will not have the freedom that you get from spinning plates...

[–]MemphisBro2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Personally, as I have a really good income, if I get a partner with a really good income, good looks, we get a very lavish house together and throw parties, have a good time and maybe have a plate on the side when you get bored, I don’t see the issue. I think many times you’ll get the “I don’t settle down with no bitch” mentality because some people don’t believe they have the skill to tie down a 10 or are too lazy to.

[–]catsdontsmile4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

True RP is 100% monk mode and you start perceiving women as distractions tempting you to stray from your goals

[–]RiderHood10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

No. That’s MGTOW

[–]hrm0894-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True RP

MGTOW

Yep, you just repeated what he said.

[–]Soundnipple0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Theres a point were having spinning plates becomes a self respect issue. Theres nothi,g wrong qith wanting a girlfriend, we all need each other men amd women.

[–]Snowboard180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not anti red pilled to get in a ltr. BUT, you fuckin better vet this bitch like crazy and set firm boundaries. In the end, most ltrs work in the favor of the female so I personally don’t want any part of that.

[–]Allispossible690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can relate ...I mean I never fuckiny was faithful so the two potential keepers for life, especially one of them I sabotaged ...I remember exactly as you articulate...god my ex had a great ass ..how the mighty have fallen ....41 ...was once a stud god ...Beach Patrol ..Army vet...used to have a nice apt ..6'3 220 pure muscle ..great genetics..well fast forward decade or so ..just got done living in my car for 98bdays .. I upgraded to this quaint little dungeon a garage ...its better than what I had ...it crazy to think I have fucked hundreds of beautiful women ..good career ....decent guy ...Severe Brain damage to the frontal lobe has the potential to change you into a monster ...someone you dont even remember who the authentic person was. .I think becuase of my Russian DNA I wont off myself as I'm a true endurer of sustained misery ....lol like a mafia i think ..m All those movies share in common a theme most AM start off certain way and then and Isaac that golden era where we to the song how lucky can one guy be playing in the background but just like all those movies are least most of on you they die or get busted at the end start doing drugs lose her family and either wind up in jail broke were dead Anyway I don't need any the chickenshit marcher of stuff on here it's just nice to phuket open up and express myself I'm always a router of a fellow fuck man. ... I do find some contrarian at least knowing I'm away some of these sorry sons of bitch's who might go through or their whole lives by having experienced in one lifetime with some of us have been lucky enough to experience on a good week some days I wish you all well who knows maybe can the best comeback at least in my history you're doing alright man hang in there

[–]mickenrorty0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have 4 main girls that I enjoy spontaneous sex and over night flings with. 2 of them want a relationship, I’m really just long term shit testing them to see if they’re relationship worthy... I’m pretty comfortable living alone tbh

[–]ColdBeing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because a good amount take the guidelines too seriously. Those guidelines are all situational. If you want a LTR, no one is stopping you. Spinning plates eventually gets old. There are plenty of girls you can fuck but there's going to be a select few you truly connect with.

[–]Kratz1770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No.

A man's life is about pursuing his purpose.

[–]throwitdownman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You really should read the sidebar though. Because if you simply read the sidebar, it’s crystal clear that TRP is a handbook which you then adjust and apply to your life, based on your values, circumstances, expectations, and needs. That means applying TRP and thinking for yourself.

[–]Merica9110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is my point of view..

TRP is not just a way of life but an understanding. As long as you understand SMV, laws, social dynamics, etc then you won't get mad or prevent cert things that could happen.

I use to think to "love hard than the next" would make me desirable and unloseable to a girlfriend.... But not so much working on myself.

Understand the the 3 pillars in SMV is; looks, wealth and who you are as person (age, popularity, funny, smarts, etc). Once one (or more) pillar spirals out of control, just understand you're replaceable like a chair she sits on.

Knowing this keeps you in check. So much that even in a relationship, still seek IOI from others just to know you're still working on you. At the end of the day that's all you can do.

Relationship can be fun but also messy. Just the other day I guy I know got jumped via street crew in protecting his gf from name calling. Like 5 against 1, but this is what you could be up against even if you found the perfect girl and you're alpha. You enter into the protector dynamic with someone and I totally agree on that, since a situation like that and men are just stronger than women.

She throws up in your car, you might be cleaning it up. She losses her airpods, you might buying her a new set. In the middle at a Lakers game and she wants to leave, you're heading out. Boring fucking wine tasting on her birthday all day, make sure you buy the one she wants.

Love or hate it, just understand what you're getting into.. In the RP Perspective and from a guys societal Standpoint.

BTW me and my gf have sex everyday.

[–]RPOpenUp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your definition of alpha is like a lot of people on here wrong. Being alpha means that you do the fuck you ever want. If sippin on different booty everyday is what alpha wants he does that. If alpha wants to have a gf or even kids, he does that

[–]cfbovernfl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never had one. Wish I did, but I seem to fuck up dates when I actually care about the girl. Never forget AWALT...

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think relationships are still a goal for many. Some of the support we got here just made us grow into better versions of ourselves and focus on improving our quality. As a result we’ve also learned to regain some our bargaining power in relationships; we grew our frame.

So I can still maintain a frame grounded on TRP ideas broadly, yet be more selective and do a better job seeing red flags and vetting a potential LTR.

I wish I had a live-in LTR right now because I’m practicing in-place isolation and social distancing. I guess it’s monk mode for me unless some females I already know or have dated want to go virtual or digital lol.

Still, there’s still one girl in particular I still think about a lot even though I didn’t really get to date her (still message from time to time - lives in another country), and others I reminisce about occasionally. But I don’t let it depress me or hold me back from my mission or dating others.

[–]kankouillotte0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i've slept wth some real pretty girls but often afterwards i don't even care

You are not alone. I stopped even trying, instead I help friends get laid when I do get out which is getting rarer and rarer (not talking of the current lockdown, I mean in general)

I mean many here have warned me and others that this path leads to the blackpill but hey, it is what it is.

I don't care about girls anymore, I couldn't even be bothered pretending or trying anymore. I still accidentally get random girl's interest and get messages, to which I reply bullshit or not at all.

And I'm good for it. I don't feel bad about any of this, I do my things, learn to play music, read books, do some motorbike, fixing stuff around the house, fixing the car : i do men's stuff and I'm happy.

I was like you and so tried to have relationships and not care that girls are trash. But I do care after some weeks, I do care that they don't know what to do with their lives, they never read a book, they only care to go to bars and fancy restaurants with their "friends" that they don't care about one bit. They are all the same, I'm still waiting to be proven wrong and I've had quite a few

So after having tried that "relationship" shit, without trying to look for a unicorn or fulfilling the "beta male dream", but being unable to accept having a shitty useless partner that is basically just a hole I have to fill, both physically and mentally, I quit.

And life is good, don't fear it.

[–]MajIssuesCaptObvious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck no

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think there's a level of addiction to spinning plates. I've done it for a long time and it becomes tiresome, but also a learned pattern of behavior.

You have to recognize why you are spinning plates in the first place. Was it to improve your SMV? Was it to practice game? Did it turn into validation after you got successful?

What is your mission and how does a woman or women fit into that?

I suggest you assess your wants and end goals.

I personally have a main girlfriend. What I wanted was somewhere between submission and something open. So we sleep with other women together and sometimes I go out for solo adventures or bring a girl home to us.

You have to find what works for your mission. That may take a while to sort out. But what you're feeling is normal.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't miss having a girlfriend. I have two.

So who told you that TRP was about not having a girlfriend?

[–]mrmaskfawkes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean dude I've always taken this movement as you taking control of your life. This place isn't doctrine it's full of observations about life, such as women are going to be more attracted to a body builder than a land whale. You take that advice and be your own man. If you want connection with a women go ahead, but know it may end badly. That's it. Don't sit there and worry about what's alpha, because the last thing I've ever heard from any alpha from arnold to jocko willink to joe rogan to even teddy rosevelt is playing by everyone else's rules. You live your life for you, by you, and only you, because no one else will ever really be in your shoes.

[–]Alzatorus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TRP does not prohibit relationships. You can be open to one but you need to maintain the mindset that “you are the prize”, not the other way around. I recently started a relationship after taking advice on here (lots of children talking shit but a few bits of perfectly good advice). She was a plate then a FWB and now GF - 2 years for her to get there, but it’s really good! If you want something more meaningful then go find it and be happy 👏🏼👏🏼

[–]kollegah13370 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

man. alpha is what you think alpha is in a healthy way.

[–]SourBow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hope I can get to that point one day where I'm so bored of hooking up that I start to crave an ltr. Still at 0 here, consider yourself lucky to be where your at.

[–]SevereYam10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why dont you have a wife or wives? Behind every great man is his wife and many mistresses

[–]btrpb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After being married no, I do not miss having a girlfriend. Relationships degrade. Quite happy with a couple of plates that I get on well with that I can see from time to time. As soon as I feel a plate getting serious I can't help but remember what a fucking cage a "real relationship" is and I back off.

[–]Bored0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Alpha" is a construct that helps certain men err their behavior on the side of more attractive. It is not a way of life.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–]cruelpain[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

yea good point man. I had a decent girlfriend but fucked it up. Fuck sakes.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, this isn't MGTOW, you're not supposed to write off women.

If what you left wasn't working for you, what you're actually asking for is 'don't you miss codependency?'

To which the answer was 'I've never been too fond of it in the first place'

[–]BruhMoment458860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's your blue pill ways trying to get back at you. Theres days where I wake up wanting to cuddle someone but then I think about all the freedom I have and how most relationships arent worth the effort. I plan on getting back in one later but rn I have goals and a mission and I want to make sure I improve myself enough to not have another shit show

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]ArcangeloPT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of the negatives yes but true.

[–]TRP_Scepter0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yes, but I quickly remember that having a girlfriend in 2020 is a bad idea (especially if you're young.) Let me see if I can paint the proper picture...

We all know women are hypergamous. The very nature of hypergamy implies disloyalty, relationships, especially closed relationships, imply serious loyalty. Social media has made it extraordinarily easy for women to be hypergamous and scandalous because dudes will literally DM chicks as soon as they post a photo even slightly sexual on Instagram.

Do you wanna deal with that shit? You wanna deal with the unloyal nature of the woman in an era where disloyalty is easier than ever before? It's like my dad said...

"She's talking dirty to somebody besides you."

So no, after I remember this I realize that I don't want a relationship because women are simply incapable of having a true relationship in the sense of the word. I'm more than happy grinding, spinning plates, and enjoying my freedom.

[–]Penislover30001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah but what if you're the good looking Chad whose top of the food chain? The relationship could work well for a long time, but I for sure know not forever as with most things.

I usually notice the woman in the relationship has to be below you in some way or another otherwise the relationship for her won't be as fulfilling, and will end up doing cheating or whatever.

[–]TRP_Scepter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wrote this assuming the readers are NOT at the very top of the food chain. Of course, everything I said is liable to being questioned/broken in such a case, but even then, a woman will always have options and she'll maintain those options through being flirty with them. If you know this, and you're not looking to raise a family, the question still remains; why bother?

[–]jaw8625-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not at all. Imagine giving up that much of your independence....how many of these hoes do you think are worth it?

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

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[–]leospace-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

good for you have you ever realized women comprise 50% of the world population? good luck living your life closing yourself off to half of humanity and what they have to offer

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Low testosterone beta



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