Been lifting for a few years. Dating GF for 5 years. Learned about TRP 6 years ago. Was dead set on not getting in a LTR and banging as many girls as possible after reading TRP. That changed when I met my current GF who checked off all my green flags and I realized she complemented my life well. Relationship has been great as a result. Focused on my self improvement throughout it (was a skinny guy in the beginning), got a very well paying job, sex has always been to my liking. She got the hint I would leave at the drop of a pin if boundaries were crossed, so she’s clung on to me
Started having marriage talks about 18 months ago for the first time. It brought a smile to her face so wide from ear to ear. We planned out a timeline of when we would want to tell our parents, get engaged, move in, etc. Future looked rock solid. It kinda pained me to talk about committing myself to her for the rest of my life even though I wasn’t against it, because I didn’t feel comfortable giving her assurance of all of my commitment forever.
Time went on, and our plans were getting more real as we got closer to them.
Out of the blue one night she calls me and tells me she’s feeling “weird”. Long story short she was trying to convey that she wanted to hold off on our plans. She was having doubts. I was devastated. I remained calm, cool, and collected, but internally I was combusting, and some of that surely she read off of me. I gathered myself over the next few days, and started reading TRP again to familiarize myself with concepts I had lost a sharpness to throughout my relationship. She wanted to delay us moving in together by a year at the very least. When I asked about what her plans were for after that, she said she doesn’t know. This was all a bit of a 180. I kept lurking around TRP and kept adopting more and more.
A few months went by like this. I had hurt inside me, but I made sure it never escaped into my actions. She eventually came around about 2 months ago. She expressed that she regrets her having cold feet and doubts daily, and knows certainly that she wants to be with me. I acted fine as if I had forgotten about her indecisiveness and gave her a hug, cracked a joke, and continued business as usual.
Everything is back to normal on her end. In those few months, she was shit testing me more. We were rocky and she was cold. I’m no angel myself, I had to have some learning experiences to know I wanted to stay with her. So is there a justification on moving forward and looking at the better 99% of our 5 years?
I would like to be able to move forward, but the fact that I was doubted like that rubs a bone in my body the wrong way.
Any wisdom on weaknesses in me and my mentality you guys can see in me would be great. And any wisdom on moving past this would also be great.