If women are so attracted to dominance and fear-inducing behavior, why do they seem to hate men so much because of it?

myownpersonalthroway · 2020-03-31T13:15:35+00:00

It is better to be a warrior in a garden then a gardener in a war.

What does this proverb mean? To me it means that you should be strong, but weld your strength wisely.

If you are skilled at cooking and make your girlfriend a gourmet meal, that is attractive. If you feed her a burnt cheese on toast for dinner that is unattractive. Not only does it show you are unskilled, it contributes nothing of meaning to her life.

It is not just about the realm, it’s about the skill and intentionality.

Why wouldn’t strength be the same?

Notsonewguy7 · 2020-03-31T12:34:15+00:00

I can only give you anecdotal evidence. But I think a lot of women like dominance and aggression when the target isn't them.

I'm a pretty laid back guy I don't yell I don't start fights. So when I shout or decide to show any aggression it's very intense.

If female I know is around while I do that I've seen their whole demeanor change.

nepsoline · 2020-03-31T12:25:02+00:00

Nobody likes to be scared.

It’s knowing that a guy can hurt you (and everyone else) but chooses not to because you’re special to him. Not knowing that a guy can hurt you and will do it in a heartbeat because you don’t want to fuck him

webernicke · 2020-03-31T12:41:55+00:00

Two quotes:

A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath—a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path.

CuriousIncel2 · 2020-03-31T12:37:51+00:00

Red Pill also says don't listen to what women say, watch what they do.

2020-03-31T13:38:21+00:00

They like men who can dominate and scare other people. Because it means that when push comes to shove - their men can defend and protect them when something bad happens

UEMcGill · 2020-03-31T13:14:44+00:00

Harvey Weinstein wielded power over women but he is physically revolting. So some of what you are talking about is when unattractive men use their strength or power over those who aren't attracted to them.

My wife likes it when I pick her up or physically over power her during a romp. If I pushed her into the ground and held her down while yelling at her for fucking up the cleaning the floor? Decidedly not sexy to her.

I think of it like being a big old silver back. She finds security and attraction in knowing that I could fuck shit up if I had too as long as she's not the focus of it. It's even nice for her to play with that power in a safe way that she finds reassuring.

Maybe those that openly despise the power you talk about do it because they can't influence it?

SILENTSAM69 · 2020-03-31T12:35:48+00:00

I remember a girl getting quite openly horny while watching a bunch of us smash a house before it was to demolished. She seemed a little surprised. She said watching men be violent just drove her nuts. She loved it.

Why? Who knows. Likely to do with an old instinct about protective men. Being the biggest baddest guys girl means your safer from other guys, and other threats.

Probably an old instinct that is now at odds with the conscious mind. It happens a lot in modern society where our old instincts are not always helpful.

largepaycheckaddict · 2020-03-31T13:44:47+00:00

Women like being dominated in a non violent way. They like a man who is protective, can provide food and shelter, and who is willing to make major sacrifices for her. Most people just think of “dominate” in negative terms. These behaviors in a partner are advantageous to a woman if she’s not the target. These behaviors proves that a man is able to provide. I don’t know how many guys have stuck up for themselves in a ln altercation and got in a fight in front of their girl, but it gets them super horny whether you win or lose.

When a man isn’t capable of domination, violence and other dark aspects, it shows that he’s less capable than those who are. In Jungian terms this exemplifies a lack of a developed shadow. One must harness their shadow if they are to be good and powerful.

Women only “hate” men who exhibit assholish fear inducing behaviors when they are the brunt end of it or it’s simply just a tasteless low class move. (Eg.. there is a difference between pointing a gun in an old ladies face to steal her $10 and a willingness to do great harm to someone who threatens or attempts to attack your family).

reluctantly_red · 2020-03-31T15:23:00+00:00

So many people here can't seem to grasp nuance. Women like dominant men who are also attractive and benevolent.

DontNeedMuchMoney · 2020-03-31T12:55:46+00:00

This is a viscous circle.

They are attracted to men that are dominant because they want to protected against other dominant men.

They hate these men because they scare them and they are attracted to the idea that one can protect them against the rest.

Doubt youl find many women that are actually physically scared by a man they are with

alluringjustice · 2020-03-31T13:24:59+00:00

Violent men turn me off. My man using his body to do something useful and thereby demonstrating his strength though - that’s sexy as hell. I had an aggressive boyfriend, constantly getting in fights, punching walls, acting all macho... it’s disgusting and shows such a low level of self control. I don’t want to date a baboon. Dating my current bf we went on a camping trip a few months ago and he was chopping wood, carrying me in his arms while we were hiking, we heard something rustling outside our tent at night and he was awake and bolting outta there in a second. Man, that’s hot. There are ways to demonstrate your physical strength without inducing fear in someone. The primal instinct that makes this attractive to women is feeling protected not fearful. In our modern world there aren’t many ways to show this though, so the only times it can be shown off is during fights or during sex. Or at the gym I guess. Nature brings out the best of the primal feelings without it having to be a faux performative display of strength which a lot of the time just looks like a dramatised satirical act of masculinity.

CHAD_TDK · 2020-03-31T15:06:18+00:00

There's a big difference between what people say and what people actually do. Ask any market research professional.

That's why I am a "behavioralist", I observe what people do, and disregard the content of what they say they do/they'll do/they'd do.

Ltrfsn · 2020-03-31T13:55:29+00:00

Dominance and violence prove an ape female that an ape male keeps her safe and is able to protect the tribe. We humans don't live in ape societies anymore, but some instincts remain. Since this protective behaviour kept ape people alive it's a good thing for women to have. Where incels go the wrong way is in thinking this is the only trait women select for. Replace dominance and violence in my comment with intelligence and emotional intelligence and the same would hold true. That's why not all women select exactly the same way.

foundoutaug2019 · 2020-03-31T15:22:51+00:00

Women are attracted to powerful, confident men. They are not attracted to men who seem like they will actually hurt them.

If anyone falls into the latter groups it's because of dysfunction, abuse, trauma etc. early in life. The cliché is true: my friends who like "bad boys" had abusive and / or absent fathers.

thirtybisc · 2020-03-31T17:08:54+00:00

I think your assumptions are incorrect.

I believe the relation between male dominance and female disgust reaction can be generally plotted out as such and I will explain why. By the way, I consider physical stature (height, build, facial aesthetics) to be aspects of male dominance.

https://i.imgur.com/kojf5qt.jpg

Disgust is a response to stimuli. In the case of women it is subconsciously used to optimize reproductive outcomes.

Women want to be impregnated by the MOST powerful men. Not just any man who is more powerful than they are. The MOST powerful.

The primal, cavewoman reaction to the idea of even being impregnated by anything other than the MOST powerful men is literal "disgust".

As you can see, in the graph there is an interesting dichotomy. Why is the least amount of disgust targeted towards men on either extreme?

On one extreme end, we have the most effeminate men, who are gay, or asexual who have no sexual interest in women and therefore are not a threat. And even if they were straight, they would be incapable of overpowering a typical woman. In fact perhaps she could even exploit his weakness for personal gain. We are talking literal midgets, cripples, people with down syndrome or other debilitating conditions. We never hear women shit-talk these men, in fact they only ever get pity.

The maximum amount of disgust is targeted at a man of average dominance. This is what women view to be the stereotypical male chauvinist pig, what all the feminist literature is actually critical of. This man is horny, straight, wants sex, and is more than capable of overpowering and impregnating a woman. He's more powerful than she is, but he's still only AVERAGE. Remember Women don't want average, they want the BEST.

Think about the idea of a "napolean complex". The short man's behavior is that of a dominant man, but on the whole the woman's assessment of his dominance is severely diminished because of physical stature. Short men get the absolute most vocal hate of all - but women don't hate all short men, rather they are disgusted by short men who try to date or have sex with them. A short man who is passive, bookish, keeps to himself, isn't the target of the hate.

As for the other extreme end - I theorize that all women get innately aroused by the most dominant men. Some women CONVINCE themselves that they find such men unattractive or disgusting due to bitterness - either bad experiences in the past (pumped and dumped), or simply not getting attention from them.

I don't know if this subreddit permits discussion on race, if so I'd be free to discuss how that integrates into my theory as well.

2020-03-31T21:37:15+00:00

Yes, they may hate dominant men as a group. But not that dominant man over there who she can control with her sexuality.

YveisGrey · 2020-03-31T14:49:12+00:00

Who is “women”? I mean maybe some women are attracted to fear and dominance (like someone who grew up in a violent area where such traits are necessary for survival) but most women are not.

Perhaps men are confusing women’s general attraction to a man who can dominate another man (say a tall man with nice build) with an attraction to man who would hurt them (just because a guys is strong and tall does not mean he would hurt a woman or the woman he is dating). Very different things.

Lots of us are attracted to “nice guys” who are tall and have muscles they don’t have to instill fear in us. Like if a short guy let’s 5’6 with average build instilled fear in women by say stalking them or threatening them that wouldn’t make most women attracted to him at all, they would probably be creeped out which is the literal opposite feeling of being attracted to someone. Women are often repulsed by men who try to force themselves on them probably because evolutionarily speaking that takes away her ability to be selective which is important to someone who can only produce a limited amount of children one or two at a time that require a huge investment of time and resources.

I think men also confuse a woman overlooking a man’s bad traits because she is physically attracted to him as her being attracted to the bad traits. Just because a man allows a very attractive woman to nag him doesn’t mean he likes being nagged. Its the difference between because of and inspite of.

0seagirl · 2020-03-31T13:12:29+00:00

Anything that innately causes fear (which they find arousing) and puts them in their place.

We don't find it arousing.

Take the women here for example (and especially those at ppf, fds and similar): they seem to really, really, DEEPLY despise men for their ability to dominate and scare them.

We don't enjoy being scared.

They often link stats on how violent men are and how easily they can hurt themselves. By all means, shouldn’t women be attracted to this fact?

Nope.

They often link stats on how violent men are and how easily they can hurt themselves. By all means, shouldn’t women be attracted to this fact? Shouldn’t they respect men knowing that they can hurt them? Why does it seem to cause such primal disgust? Are they secretly turned on by it?

No, no, no, and nope.

twopeas3296 · 2020-03-31T14:45:55+00:00

We adore signs of dominance by men we’re attracted to.

Otherwise it’s like being near a huge disgusting cockroach with fangs

kleejd · 2020-03-31T13:50:42+00:00

You’re neglecting the fact that women comprise about half of all humans on Earth.

What I mean is women, just like men, vary. There are women that respect more masculine or even violent men and there are those that prefer more docile, relaxed guys.

I’m not really sure why a lot of you folks act like that one thing you heard that one time from that one woman/man must apply to the vast majority of all women/men.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2020-03-31T15:30:21+00:00

It's almost as though women want their own personal King Kong. Fiercely protective of them, destructive and dangerous towards everyone else.

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CharlerBubbenstein · 2020-03-31T14:45:37+00:00

Ugly man produce disgust with such behavior. Attractive males do not.

SeemedGood · 2020-03-31T15:49:43+00:00

Women’s non-physical attraction is dichotomous across two polar planes.

They are attracted to one set of traits sexually and another set of traits for a relationship and often those sets of traits conflict with each other.

Additionally, women have non-physical attraction cues of which they are conscious and attraction cues that operate from the subconscious which often conflict with each other.

All in all women have 4 zones of potentially conflicting non-physical attraction cues and they aren’t even conscious of many of the cues and conflicts between them.

So as a man you’ll never be able to understand what is truly attractive to women if you listen to what they have to say about their attractions. Rather, simply watch how they behave. Watch with whom they choose to have sexual interaction and whom they choose for relationships. Observe the similarities in the characteristics of those two groups of men, and observe the differences. Most importantly observe how they treat men with those different characteristics over the long term. Then decide who you want to be.

41013 · 2020-03-31T16:03:28+00:00

“He’s an asshole, but not to me” is one of the most common tropes out there. See also, “beauty and the beast”, “I can change him!” and “the transformative power of love”

The “but not to me” is the important part, btw

richlad · 2020-03-31T16:09:01+00:00

Your army guy or policemen are capable of as much as violence as your local thug or kidnapper
Yet you don't hate the policemen or army guy, but you'll hate your thugs.

You only hate dog when he goes mad and bites you, his owner.

Cobra_x30 · 2020-03-31T16:28:26+00:00

People that ask these questions... do they even bother to read the red pill stuff?

First, the ladies over at FDS are most likely overweight and unnattractive to the men they desire. Beautiful women don't need a strategy.

Second, like all female communication, you need to read between the lines. These girls dispise scary dominant men THAT THEY ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO. On the other hand a scary dominant man who they are dating is going to be considered super hot.

You have to understand that for the last 10,000 years of human evolution, women had very little to fear from Lions and Tigers. However, they had A LOT to fear from men of other tribes. The best way to get protection from men of other tribes... is to get a big scary dominmant man from your own tribe to protect you.

2020-03-31T17:21:56+00:00

There are plenty of women who genuinely like being dominated in the bedroom, but clearly not all women have the same preference. Pink pill feminism and FDS believe that women who enjoy being dominated or are into bdsm are pick mes who endure being choked or spanked in bed because they just want to please their man. They reject anything that doesn’t serve the female imperative, and women who enjoy a type of degrading sex that they don’t enjoy is seen as threatening, so they shame those women and the men who like being domaninant as well.

Also, men who try to dominate women when women don’t want to be dominated are going to be labeled as creeps/assholes. It depends on lots of factors including the attractiveness of the man, the type of women he is trying to act dominant towards, how she is feeling that day, how well he knows her, and lots of other stuff.

If a guy I’m dating put his hand around my neck, pinned me against a wall, and kissed me I would find it hot. If a guy I work with and am not attracted to did it I would be terrified and would probably file a restraining order.

wheatbeer510 · 2020-03-31T19:02:28+00:00

Only attractive men are allowed to do it

dirtyoldbastard77 · 2020-03-31T21:54:22+00:00

Although this is true for many women (attracted to dominant men etc), its definitely not true for all. Me and my gf are very active in the local bdsm community, and ... There is probably more male doms and female subs (like me and my gf) than the other way around, but there are still LOTS of male subs and female dommes.

Hell, part of the reason I love my gf so much is because of how strong she is. Shes not a weak doll without any opinions or will. Quite the opposite.

Shes not just sexy and cool, shes one of the toughest and strongest (as in mental strength) women I know, shes been through a lot, and thats part of the reason she likes being with me, then she can just ... relax. She knows I’ll take the lead if need be, she knows I am strong enough to easily pick her up and carry her home if need be. She knows I have scars from protecting others. She knows that even though shes one of my top priorities in life, my kids are even more important to me, and she likes that, because thats the opposite of her ex.

And all kinds of small everyday stuff. Being in charge means working harder and taking responsibility - especially when shit happens. Being the dominant part in a relationship is NOT the same as being an asshole. It means you take charge, and take care of your partner.

kevkariuki1 · 2020-04-01T00:34:25+00:00

Women do things like that to weed out the pretenders and men with a weak core or belief system. Only the very dominant men can remain dominant in a society that emphasizes passiveness. This makes it easy for the women to select the men they want. That's why a few men can have sex whenever they want(the most dominant) while the rest have sex whenever they can.

In short, it's a subconscious way of weeding men out.

Also dominant men are dangerous to women because there's a high chance they will leave them. So women try to reduce the number of dominant men by complaining about them

plurpsleeper · 2020-04-01T03:35:48+00:00

Women don’t hate men because they fear them, they hate them because they disrespect them.

Silverpixelmate · 2020-03-31T13:56:03+00:00

Rp myth #6 of 942

imjgaltstill · 2020-03-31T12:54:51+00:00

Stop listening to what they say. Watch what they do

rothkochapel · 2020-03-31T13:22:14+00:00

"...why do they seem to hate men so much because of it?"

they don't, it's a shit test and if you believe they do you're failing it.

Sigma1979 · 2020-03-31T15:34:48+00:00

OP, it's simple, Patrice O'Neal was able to attract women with dominance/indifference/being an asshole. His women would tell him that 'i hate that i love you'.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-03-31T12:23:09+00:00

Women are not really attracted to dominance, fear, or dark-triad traits. Red pill gets the idea completely wrong. Dark triad men have lots of partners because women don't like those traits. Dark triad guys can get women to sleep with them because they can put on a facade, but then the women don't want to be with them.

The number one thing that correlates with a woman's desire to date or being a relationship with a man is his perceived agreeableness (i.e. being nice, kind, gentle, etc.) See page 9

2020-03-31T13:17:59+00:00

They hate it when THEY have been the target. So, instead of getting the good (being protected) they get the bad (being abused) and hate it. For men the equivalent might be "flirty behavior": we love it when it's targeted towards us, but as soon as we noticed it's targeted to others we slut-shame the woman.

SocietalEngineering · 2020-03-31T13:39:43+00:00

It’s a shit test.

Women claim and pretend to act like they hate these “fear inducing” traits, but this is just to weed out men who aren’t really like that, but merely pretending to be like that.

All of feminism is a mere shit test, to weed out those men that women deem to be unworthy to dominate them.

hammerhaunts · 2020-03-31T12:24:56+00:00

Why does it seem to cause such primal disgust?

It is primal disgust or fear when the man is not in person doing it to them, many FDSers have a story of falling for it when done to them.

disayle32 · 2020-03-31T13:21:36+00:00

They love it when Chad does it and hate it when non-Chads do it.

bananamoocher · 2020-03-31T16:30:10+00:00

I think women are attracted to confidence.. not dominance.

LitPepe · 2020-03-31T21:57:14+00:00

that's because women don't know what they want.

ssbmrai · 2020-03-31T22:13:04+00:00

Dominance and fear are only cool if he's attractive.

AdolfGandi · 2020-04-01T00:43:53+00:00

The truth is women are lying to themselves. They say they aren't attracted to it but on a base physical level they are. Watch what people do, not what they say. To women's credit they may just not realize they are attracted to it or they genuinely think they aren't. For practical purposes it doesnt actually matter.

Ballface8020 · 2020-04-01T01:02:41+00:00

Take the women here for example (and especially those at ppf, fds and similar): they seem to really, really, DEEPLY despise men for their ability to dominate and scare them.

Because it isn't Chad doing it. They love scary, creepy and perverted behavior as long as it comes from Chad.

toasterchild · 2020-03-31T15:14:04+00:00

It's almost like all women aren't the same person. Sure there are plenty of women attracted to classic dominance and chest thumping but there are equally as many who are repulsed by it. Some like it until it's turned on them.

Anyone who says all women are xyz really means all women i attract or am attracted to are xyz. Sometimes your picker is off

2020-03-31T15:55:06+00:00

I know it’s different for women who grow up seeing violence in the family and having that dominance = love relationship mapped into their brains versus those who can’t believe a gentleman who says and does all the right things and makes her feel safe, maybe being larger and/or with a masculine presence who leads other men and is respected, could ever turn on her.

It’s beyond sad to see someone’s humanity destroyed by the overvaluation- devaluation cycle of abuse. The ones that say that can’t leave, refuse to leave or become like beaten dogs. Isolation, intimidation and emotional blackmail by someone who claims they love you and financial dependence are not enjoyable conditions. Thankfully, women who leave abusive relationships can find a lot of support, and are vocal about sharing their experiences and warning other women, in more egalitarian cultures. It didn’t use to be this way.

Regarding participation in a BDSM kink as a submissive, it‘s a way to control a real fear and be assured that there will be emotional aftercare and mutual pleasure through boundary-setting. I think it‘s a dumb pastime for weak people, but I get the psychology of it.

analt223 · 2020-03-31T15:57:32+00:00

Its more they hate themselves for being attracted to it but try to shift the blame to men

Men do similar things to women btw

HollowLegMonk · 2020-03-31T16:25:28+00:00

It’s not about scaring anyone, or being abusive. I’m not sure where you got that idea. It’s simply creating attraction anxiety by acting like you don’t care if she rejects you or not. You know like the old “he loves me, he loves me not” game. It’s the same reason people like to ride rollercoasters or sky dive. If a woman knows she can have a guy at any time she doesn’t see him as exciting, making her less attracted to him.

But in terms of women in FDS not liking it, TRP guys are not looking for women like that.

bonusfruit · 2020-03-31T16:38:23+00:00

Chad is like cigarettes to women.

exit_sandman · 2020-03-31T17:30:06+00:00

For the same reason women don't lift a finger when it comes to dating yet simultaneously hate being hit on: they desire that behavior in men they are attracted to, but the moment men they aren't attracted to display it, it becomes an actual problem because the very same behavior makes a guy not take no for an answer.

This is also the reason why I am very much against strangling men with red tape when it comes to going after women: we can't label the behavior a lot of women plain and simply expect from a guy they're attracted to as sexual harassment when said attraction is absent.

LikeNever · 2020-03-31T17:47:44+00:00

Simple answer. 1) Attraction isn't a choice 2) Women are attracted to sociopaths 3) They inevitably find that living with sociopaths is untenable and incompatible with their long term goals.

While not terribly important, my guess is that women's attraction to sociopaths harks back to when we lived in caves, and being eaten by lions, tigers or bears was more than a theoretical possibility. So, over the course of millennia, those traits were bred into the gene pool, and remain, even though they have outlived their usefulness

Mimoxs · 2020-03-31T17:51:46+00:00

I like how no one is actually answering the question and basically saying you're wrong

Usually the women attracted to it are "normal"/naive, ppd/fds women have learned to despise those traits bc they have learned what that's really like. Women think male dominance/violence/"tough" guys are hot, then they experience those men for themselves, and then they come to be disgusted by them.

A-Merks-ican · 2020-03-31T18:06:46+00:00

This question is flawed out the gate, so any answers you get will be flawed.

Women are absolutely attracted to alpha traits. Confidence that isn't cocky or obnoxious, leadership that isn't percieved as controlling or demanding, stability that doesn't rely on a weak foundation (your mommy had to cosign your mortgage).

Being 'scary' is not an attractive alpha trait. Screaming and yelling and throwing your weight around is childish. Hitting, kicking, lashing out; these are the defining traits of a toddler, not a man that a woman is going to be irresistibly attracted to.

Women SHOULD despise men that scare them like this. They despise them because they have to be the emotional pillar to those men. That shit is anti red pill.

siberiansummer · 2020-03-31T18:09:04+00:00

Simple. Insecure women like to be dominated. That's all. They are insecure, hence don't know what to do, hence want someone who does, who will dominate them and tell them. Secure women can't tolerate that shit

Shiningsilvergold · 2020-03-31T18:18:13+00:00

There's a quote from Narnia about Aslan that I always liked, which is:

"Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion"
"Safe?" said Mr Beaver, "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good."

For me this sums it up, and goes along with the commentor who wrote the proverb about being a warrior in the garden. To be a good man, a good person, doesn't mean 'safe' (such as someone who never yells) A good man can be incredibly intimidating when he needs to be. But he is in control of his temper and he is aware of and has integrated his shadow, he is wise about how he conducts himself.

Women do despise when a man doesn't have his temper and ability to dominance under control. At best they come across as a fool (e.g. a drunkard getting into an unnecessary fight), at worst they hurt or murder others.

drunk_blueberry · 2020-03-31T19:06:12+00:00

Idk I am a bit different in that regard. I am unattracted to those behaviors because I have some childhood trauma. However, I don't demonize all men for it. Just not my cup of tea so to speak.

BonnieBelle255 · 2020-03-31T19:12:16+00:00

We like strong confident men who could protect us if needed. Dangerous to others, not to us. And trust me, if we felt like we were the ones in danger, there would be NO attraction and only fear.

Women who hate men for their danger have probably been badly hurt by one and are angry about it.

abaxeron · 2020-03-31T19:19:16+00:00

The only reasonable conclusion if women despise men for ability to dominate and scare - is that women fuck, marry, and have kids with men they find despicable. RP is based on women's behavior; not opinions.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-03-31T19:38:09+00:00

We like attractive men (whatever one considers attractive), men who can take care of their shit, takes care of others (us especially), but we also like big softies. Nothing’s cuter than seeing a big hunk play with a little puppy. Or taking his time to help his community, like donating blood or volunteering somewhere. I love it that my guy helps me around the house and he doesn’t complain or fuss, he actually enjoys doing whatever task I ask him to do. I asked him to de-shell a bunch of pistachios once, for my chickens, and instead of complaining, he sat in my chicken yard for 1.5 hours chipping away at pistachio shells.

I imagine that dark triad people don’t like playing with cute animals, or helping their communities, or doing tasks for their loved ones. I’ve dated guys whose outlook on life was very much about themselves, and seeing that was vert off-putting. The only reason I could see another woman actually wanting a cruel and selfish man, is because she is selfish herself and shares similar negative traits to the man. I don’t think nice people really wanna deal with a moody and aggressive person as a partner.

CageyRelic · 2020-03-31T23:08:34+00:00

Because context is important. If you can slap me with my consent in the bedroom or are willing to square up in my defense, I'll appreciate it. If you slap me without the fun times consent or look like you're about to try and fight me, I won't appreciate that.

H2orocks3000 · 2020-03-31T23:26:11+00:00

Their Limbic brain goes for it, but when they leave them suddenly or leverage that dominance past a certain point, they become hypervigiliant. Also anxious-preoccupied and tech fearful-avoidant attatchments are hypervigiliant to threat cues.

Also, I’m betting the level of overall EQ in the country is rather low. Which just leaves room for abuses and traumas.

There is also a evolutionary-attatchment related mechanism where women who grow up in environments of scarcity of warmth and other issues with the enviroment actually hormonaly develop earlier in an evolutionary effort to help them go off and select a mate earlier and quickly, and doing this without any life experience they are def the ones who go on and pick a man based on the “alpha” filter for choosing. But they choose them without realizing it as part of an evolutionary-attatchment strategy that is intended to have them select a mate for short term “genetic” benefits, and then move on eventually, as in our world, “because these MEN are abusive “.

This is why 40% of kids are born to single moms.

If you think about it, life isn’t about being “concious” of things, it’s about barreling through and the regulation of survival and attatchment (matting and caring) Everything is regulating that. There are more levels to add to it, but it’s why this happens.

We do need to wrap our head around for ourselves a more truly confident sort of dominance that does integrate elements of EQ.

I know there are two therapists that are involved in the red pill sphere and they are ROBERT glover and Adam lane. There where some things in red pill that conflicted with Eq that threw me (I was healing from trauma and trying to make sense of life at the time and it felt like you go through and learn this EQ stuff and it’s like and answer to create order amidst the chaos, but then you discover red pill and it’s like blows that vision up- or at least how it felt. I was also codependent so this was one giant nihilistic kick to the face for me)

It was listening to a podcast from Adam lane that cleared up the conflicts I had between the two.

asdf333aza · 2020-04-01T06:23:38+00:00

Know the difference between assertive and aggressive.

hotdancer1138 · 2020-04-01T22:45:17+00:00

The feminine instinct is to submit, but only to a worthy masculine man. Most modern men aren't truly masculine. Put any woman here in front of the right man, and she'll submit and swoon.

But as others are saying, it's not so much the act of dominance, but the potential.

xinf3ct3d · 2020-04-02T19:19:11+00:00

I really don't believe all this "the man dominates" shit. Humans are far too complex to reduce 50% of the species to "like being submissive". On top of that, if a woman throws away her maturity and all her experience so I can do all the work in a relationship she can also gtfo my life.

In my opinion submission is a sign of lacking laziness, lacking maturity and lacking commitment.

Didittowinit · 2020-04-03T07:48:37+00:00

Women find certain men attractive when they have traits that work in unison. Dominance alone doesn't make a male attractive but it is a factor. Looking at sexual attraction from one dimension is too reductive. Also the modern woman is, for lack of a better term, pickier than her 1850s counterpart merely due to the freedoms she's given by the modern courts. This has been a massive bone of contention with the Western male because woman's rights tends to undercut the male's ability to compensate female demands with beta bux. If a woman can "make money on her own" (which is actually a lie, most CEOs are male and thus she's receiving money from a potential male suitor) then why not hunt for the sexiest of the males with all that freedom she thinks.

The wrestler Andre the Giant arguably should have had tons of female interest in him according to your theory as he was a massive human male albeit with a deformed face due to pituitary gland issues. But were more women of that era attracted to Andre the Giant? Or future James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan who was arguably much scrawnier compared to Andre? Or would women have preferred a third option, a man with Pierce Brosnan's looks and Andre the Giant's height? As you can see when it comes to genetic packages the "more is better" concept comes into play as human beings compare specimens for mating.

This has become more apparent in recent years because women have mostly been given artificial freedoms in the modern economy which has allowed them to indulge in chasing apex males while nearly all but shunning men who aren't prime in an 80/20 split. With rights and economic freedoms in the West women are free to become way more selective than they were in the past and we see them going for men who are the tallest, have the best hormonal profiles (extremely low bodyfat), the highest symmetry, flashiest colors (blue eyes, white skin etc) and strongest inclination towards exercise (high test). Almost every corner of the internet we have young men decrying how cruel Western women are towards them because they didn't make the cut. That is these males didn't have all of the traits these women are looking for in unison compared to other males somewhere on the woman's radar, a radar that has merely grown in reach with the advent of government mandated high paying jobs for women, online dating and Tinder.

PeppyHydra · 2020-04-03T22:02:07+00:00

Because they don't have access to those men. They desire them but it's unrequited, therefore they convince themselves they hate it. Sour grapes mentality. Attractive men display dominant behaviour which attracts all women, and the women which fail to obtain sex breeds resentment.

rosalia999 · 2020-04-07T06:16:26+00:00

a guy who gives off the vibe of being dominant but in a caring and protective way and not abusive psycho is attractive, a guy who is recklessly violent, abuses women , rapes, or molests kids is revolting. not that hard to understand.

quesoburgesa · 2020-03-31T13:43:16+00:00

It’s all about the TiNgLeS

maxtorrz · 2020-03-31T14:26:33+00:00

Dont listen to what women say. Watch what they do. Women online will talk about not finding dangerous men hot but you will see it time and again when Dark Triad Chad slides into her DMs for an easy fuck. If hes good looking, or tall, or an arrogant rich kid, she will be on her knees at some point.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2020-03-31T14:01:37+00:00

Because they hate their own sexuality, and the fact they're attracted to these thugs? How many times do you see women say "I've had enough of bad boys"? They get tired of being turned on by the worst kind of men, but they can't help it.

limbojunkie · 2020-03-31T14:09:23+00:00

Don't listen to what they say. Look at what they do

CentralAdmin · 2020-03-31T14:14:04+00:00

they seem to really, really, DEEPLY despise men for their ability to dominate and scare them.

It's because they'll be made vulnerable. It's a difficult position to feel vulnerable and scared but turned on because of displays of dominance through violence. Women would have you believe they want men who would never hurt them but there are far more police officers and firefighters who have partners and beat them than WoW nerds, who will likely remain sexless and lonely.

Even violent men in prison get love letters, while criminals and gang members are hardly starved of sex. School bullies usually have girlfriends while the victim is usually alone (and miserably so). The fastest way for a man to get the attention of women is to hurt or kill other men.

killthenerds · 2020-03-31T16:17:25+00:00

I don’t think saying that women innately attracted to this or that is a useful starting point for analysis. Rather since our societal rules demand that men do all the approaching for courtship which selects men with certain traits as winners over others in the dating realm — usually attractive, aggressive and confident ones because those are the guys willing to approach women aggressively. But if the social rules changed in regards to dating, a different type of man would be favored.

Jimmy_Cosmo · 2020-03-31T17:12:51+00:00

Smokers know it's bad but they still smoke.

Massgumption · 2020-03-31T19:57:51+00:00

They hate the dominant men only cause they got dumped by them.

PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP · 2020-03-31T12:31:05+00:00

Yeah so the fear is part of the attraction. Arousal and fear are physiologically linked.

0kool74 · 2020-03-31T13:35:22+00:00

Dude!!!! You really expect women to act rationally and logically? They’re like a top fuel dragster or funny car. Ever seen what happens with one of those when everything doesn’t go right??? Lol

ZCommander9088 · 2020-03-31T14:22:34+00:00

Women (on average) are biologically programmed for this but society and feminism has told them it is wrong for decades. That simple.

deathhandmachiavelli · 2020-03-31T12:47:18+00:00

"Why do the SAY they hate men so much because of it?"

Look at history, and look at the world.

The more dominant, violent, and patriarchal men are in any given society the MORE RESPECT they get from women.

The more softer and progressive that men get, the more women complain about how awful men are and how much they hate men.

Cute_Wraith_Wryl · 2020-03-31T14:31:19+00:00

If a handsome men acts that way they are attracted but if an avarage or an ugly men acts that way they are disgusted .

I have lots of chad friends and I asked one of them '' What is a best way to message a girl ? '' and he said '' If she is attracted to you no matter what you say she will be with you . '' . He literally says shitty things to women and they still want to be with him . If he actually cares for the girl he acts nice so they have a long relationship , if he only wants to fuck the girl he acts like a total douchebag and after sex usually ''relationship'' ends .

zino193 · 2020-03-31T14:35:19+00:00

Why are you creating a connection between mind and body. You can not control what turns you on. They are different neorological circuits. As for the harder, it's cultural. Everyone and their mother tells them to not get hurt or use or defaced or ... [Insert risk of a bad relationship here] so of course they grow up thinking the world of relationships is a minefield.

On the other hand you have the confident woman that's just enjoys men. She profoundly understands she will get hurt sooner or later...but seriously... 80% of the time she is happy smiling and fucking... While the girls hating on the dangerous toxic men ... End up locked in the house with the safe nice guy that can't stop apologizing.

[deleted] · 2020-03-31T15:09:46+00:00

Well, it's just that for any male behavior, both attractive and unnatractive men engage in it...

Loopylafae · 2020-03-31T17:05:33+00:00

" It’s well known in the manosphere that women are innately attracted to dominance and strength and even dark triad traits " Thats because the monosphere MAKES $HIT UP. "“A number of studies demonstrate that men have lower moral standards than women, at least in competitive contexts. For example, men are more likely than women to minimize the consequences of moral misconduct, to adopt ethically questionable tactics in strategic endeavors, and to engage in greater deceit. This pattern is particularly pronounced in arenas in which success has (at least historically) been viewed as a sign of male vigor and competence, and where loss signifies weakness, impotence, or cowardice (e.g., a business negotiation or a chess match). When men must use strategy or cunning to prove or defend their masculinity, they are willing to compromise moral standards to assert dominance.” Scientific American. & being afraid is NOT the same as respect. My life experience has taught me to fear & distrust men - that does not mean I respect them - it means that I avoid them by any & all means possible!

Title	If women are so attracted to dominance and fear-inducing behavior, why do they seem to hate men so much because of it?
Author	040211092616
Upvotes	138
Comments	287
Date	March 31, 2020 12:17 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fsbwbo/if_women_are_so_attracted_to_dominance_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-are-so-attracted-to-dominance-and-fear.358518 https://theredarchive.com/post/358518