Got that one colleague who is just seemingly out to get the job/fired/promotion, always depressing about work, or is actively trying to tank you? Welcome to the crab bucket. Where every bucket is unique and always on the clearance shelf.

The good news is there are some very clear redpill methods that you can use to shut it down, or if you prefer, to win.

Unhappy Colleagues

The easiest of all problem colleagues to handle. Law #10. Avoid them like the plague. Why avoid them? First, socially, no one else likes them. Second, their careers are unstable and will bring instability to yours. Lastly, they don't want you to be happy?

What if you have to work side by side with them? That sucks, but is manageable. Start fogging them, broken record. Set a clear boundary that you will not communicate negatively about your work or others on the job. When they try to manipulate you and make you unhappy with your work, you have to just shut them down. Most of the time they will take the hint and stop. You cannot help them or pull them out of their self wallowing.

Do not let yourself be drawn into negative assertions or discussions about your company.

The Go-Getter

This is the colleague that is always trying to outshine and outperform you. While not actively outshining you or outperforming you. There is truth to the better to have a friend than an enemy. Of course, enemies have their uses too. Dealing with this particular person isn't really all that hard. Just give them all the rope they want to hang themselves. Eventually the chickens will come home to roost.

You often cannot expect other people to be satisfied with your success. Generally the go-getter is jealous and motivated to sabotage you, in effort to themselves look good by comparison. The trick is, to always be better. Looks only matter on the first date :D

The other side to this is you have to chill the fuck out and not actively engage the go-getter. Alphas disregard. Don't talk about this colleague to others, or especially neg hit their work. Save the Alpha Behavior for the meetings. Be bold in the meetings and let that be your reputation.

The Saboteur

(I have personally dealt with several of these in my career)

This colleague basically has it out for you. The way to handle this is to become proactive and not reactive. Remain positive and practice the TRIPLE D. Document, Document, Document. When you strike back it has to be surgical. Appear weak where you are strong, and strong where you are weak. When you are ready for battle, let him strike first.

Your dark triad needs to come into play here. These colleagues, imho, need to be taken out or at least severely weakened. Isolate and alienate. Typically they are narcissist or sociopaths that have decided you are in their way. There is no reasoning or friendship. Set them up to hit you where you are your strongest. When they call you out, bring your mountain of documentation and bury them.

This method accomplishes two things. One, the saboteur is hopefully fired or at least marginalized. Two, others are witnessing the level you are willing to go to. This will sure to be the scuttlebutt for the next few weeks. Lastly, they now have the reputation of just trying to attack you and will never get anywhere again.

The Chatty Kathy

Bogey can be the first to admit he likes the gossip, and the juicier the better. Unfortunately, this is a very bad habit, especially if you are the Chatty Kathy, and will impede your promotions. Everyone likes the tale of the tape, but no one likes the person. Why would you? They talk about your personal items like they are trading cards at the water cooler. I have never promoted the office gossip because they cannot be trusted.

Steer clear of the Chatty Kathy. Avoid them in the break areas, and if you are in the same meeting don't show up early. If you get caught, always make the graceful exit because of a phone call or another meeting. The other way is to be direct and short circuit them.

HR might ask you to take a direct approach and ask them to stop. The more alpha way is to simply ask "Why are you telling me, is it relevant <to reason for meeting>?" This catches them off guard and puts them on the defensive. You are using power talk to communicate three things with one question.

  • Why do I need to know this?
  • I am not here to listen to your shit.
  • I am not not willing to play the game and you need to move on to someone else.

The Company Phantom

You know this guy, hell you might be this guy. You always send emails and voicemails trying to get a response or something done. They never respond, but typically get the work done even when late. How you deal with this depends on your type of work.

Project Dead Lines are Important

You can prove you sent all the emails and phone calls in the world. It doesn't matter because you missed a deadline. This is my every day line of work. Where missing deadlines means missing big money. My role in the company is managing earners. My department generates revenue. When the revenue stops, you think they care about those 200 emails? Nope. The company phantom has to be dealt with on a face to face basis. Explain your need verbally and ask if you can help them get it done right now. They are probably logical and highly systematic introverts who aren't able to ignore the person standing in front of them and file it away to be dealt with later. Don't bring up all the communication you sent, that's beta, just hit them up directly.

Just Communication

You can probably just let this go and and the work gets done, or if it does not you can at least prove you tried and let your manager deal with your manager. It's self-defeating and ultimately scores no points. If you want to break through to the next level, your manager needs to be able to rely on you to solve your own problems, not just snitch about how your problems are caused by others.

If you can think of some more people and how to deal with them, please either make a post or comment.