What to expect as I move towards 30

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April 1, 2020
78 upvotes

27 yr old guy here, I'm coming off an LTR and I'm in pretty good shape, lift 6 days a week, full head of hair, I'm 6'4 and I have a solid career (Project Manager- not killing it money wise but tons of room for growth.) What can I expect with my dating life as I get closer to and move past 30? Will I still be able to pick up college girls at the bar?

Also, how do you older guys deal with all your friends being married/ in relationships? Doesn't it get boring not having people to hang out with because everyone is always with their SOs?

Societal pressure to get into a relationship is causing me some distress right now, I feel like everybody my age who's worth half a shit is in a relationship. And I know guys my age who can't get a girl to stick around for the life of them and I'm afraid of becoming that guy so I'm concerned about that too.


Post Information
Title What to expect as I move towards 30
Author drevil_
Upvotes 78
Comments 91
Date 01 April 2020 02:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/359785
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fsqr6f/what_to_expect_as_i_move_towards_30/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationshiplift
Comments

[–]KeyRepresentative117 points118 points  (7 children) | Copy

Thirty something is great. I’m a mid thirties lawyer in a major city. Life is great.

College girls? Rarely but it depends on you. 21 year olds look great but don’t bring anything else. Personally, 24-29 is the sweet spot for women. They are lovely, independent, have their own place, and fuck how they want. A late 20’s woman’s apartment is always the best place to sleep.

Friends change, they have lives and priorities, so do you. Make an effort to keep who matters and always make new friends. My college buddies have kids, ex wives and new wives, they would hate my “going out” friends. But I live my college buds forever.

Fitness. Fitness. Fitness. I qualified for regional crossfit games at 27. At 33, I needed back surgery and gained 30 lbs. It will change fast.

Relationships. The majority of married couples in their 20s end in divorce. Marry in your 30s and 40s and the odds are you stay married. Why? You actually know yourself, respect yourself, and have boundaries. So 30s relationships are much smoother -usually, avoid disordered women- and respectful. You will regret certain bad ass women you passed up but get over it.

Thirties are prime time.

*edit: because I like scotch and had more to say.

Know where you fit it in. It isn’t dance clubs. I take 2nd dates to tastings, to art galleries, to concerts.

Don’t wait in line. You’re successful. I’m aware that I’m older than the patrons at my favorite dive bar. I walk up to front and have a $20 for the bouncer. My date just walked past girls begging for attention and got straight in with me.

Finally, you’re old enough to see red flags. Date bad ass women. Walk away from anything that doesn’t suit you.

[–]PachoHerrera024 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

CrossFit

needed back surgery

Lmao

[–]DatRiggz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Beat me to it.

[–]RuleTheOne17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Motivation for me I gotta take it up a notch

[–]AntoKe3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Loved reading this. Thanks for sharing this solid advice!

[–]kasodegreat4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the best piece of advice today. ❤

[–]aDrunkenWhaler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Relationships. The majority of married couples in their 20s end in divorce. Marry in your 30s and 40s and the odds are you stay married.

Don't be an idiot. Never get fucking married.

[–]when_its_too_late-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I could care less about the rest, what scotch?

[–]Finn_the_dawg74 points75 points  (17 children) | Copy

I love being 31. It's like turning 20 all over again. Except more pussy. More over the married friends wives will start trying to set you up with friends that are single

[–]aDrunkenWhaler2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Those women are single for a reason and also the same age as your married friends wives, around 30, approaching the wall and looking for their beta chump to wife them up. If you pump and dump you get drama with your friends because that's what you get when you shit where you eat. I'll pass on that.

[–]Finn_the_dawg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey whatever works for everyone is fine by me.

[–]PachoHerrera00 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why’s it like turning 20 all over again?

[–]Finn_the_dawg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best way to explain it is like a snake shedding is old skin

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Finn_the_dawg0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Wow. Someone seems salty. And while care if I'm married. Go fuck yourself

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]i-am-the-prize5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

yup. when we're out as a group and one of the fringe acquaintances wives will grab my ass at the concert where it's dark. happened NYE as a quad date and turkey day at a daytime turkeybowl kegger. kids all around too.

another friend of a friend of a friend who i've only met once, flat out wispered in my ear not 6' from my wife: "if things ever don't work out at home, call me"

getting fit and ripped and being otherwise a grown man (career, solid, reliable, capable) it's very eye opening.

married chicks.... either be the chad or get cucked. but make no mistake, if you are bottom 80%, she's not longing for you, she's putting up with you.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Height? Weight? Bf? Bench/Squat/DL?

[–]i-am-the-prize1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

5'11", 212# sub 14%BF, I work out a lot, TBH I love it.. I worked very hard to get there... but also lucky to have a good face, too. losing fat brought out the jawline...

[–]Finn_the_dawg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fair enough. I was a fat slob. Sorry for saying go fuck yourself. I'm sure you are having a blast with all this1

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You must be a great friend

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're a bachelor. You're not a perverted weirdo. You have plenty of options.

[–]1El0vution18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m 40 and can still get college girls at bars. You’ll feel lonely and different, but my married friends are envious of me. You pick your poison.

[–]trpppp1231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think as I approach 30, that's something I've noticed as well. While I feel successful and think that TRP is correct on a lot of things, it definitely is a lonely path to walk.

[–]DatRiggz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lonely indeed, the pick your poison is very true.

[–]como1013 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

I know you're asking about dating life past 30, but the best advice I can give you is to start investing now. Passive income will give you a lot of leverage in life, and the earlier you start, the easier and more enjoyable your life will be.

[–]underd0g-2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

What are some ideas of passive income! Just investing in stocks?

[–]crazycoconut2473 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Real estate, books, blogs/vlogs, websites, etc.

Something you can put the work in up front complete and profit off of the rest of your life. It may require occasional maintenance but it's extra money in the pocket every month

[–]Apfeltee1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What can you recommend? I’m in my early 20s and already trying to set up my financial freedom path...

[–]como102 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stocks are extremely passive and are probably a good buy right now since the market is down. Real estate is a little less passive but in my opinion a better route to take. If you're currently renting, I'd save up money to buy a house and house hack (look it up on Google to learn about it). Where do you live? Buy a duplex and rent out the other side. In some parts of the country, you can literally have 90% of your rent paid for by someone else. Then when you want a bigger space, rent out both sides and you have other people paying off an expensive asset and you'll probably earn additional money on top of that. It's can also be a good write off.

[–]BruhMoment4588626 points27 points  (4 children) | Copy

A nice looking, successful, and confident man who's single into his later years is known as a Bachelor.

A fat ugly slob with no social life is know as a loser.

You aren't a loser.

Sure people are getting married but that's the thing, some of them married just to beat a time line. That doesnt mean they're going to have a happy and successful marriage. If you're happy with your current single lifestyle keep at it. You're the lucky one not them. If you're actually lonely then go out and meet some girls. See if you click with someone.

[–]tilleuno12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

Hey bro, I finished a 4 year ltr just as I turned 27. I went on to have the best year of my life. The most, the youngest and the hottest I've ever gotten.

Just take care of what you can to preserve your looks, work hard and beat any voice down in your head that tells you you can't, or you're too old. If anyone around you does, cut those sacks of spuds out of your life. They don't belong. It's your life, don't waste it listening to other people's limits.

[–]toilets7770 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

What made you end it? 4 years is a long time. I’m going on 5 and feeling the pressure.

[–]tyalanm0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Pressure to marry or pressure to end it?

[–]toilets7771 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Pressure to move in together, future talks, etc

[–]tyalanm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How does she bring it up? Like what would you guys be doing when she starts to say something?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

29 and the and the only noticeable changes is that my friend circle is dying off(married) and my pay is increasing substantially every year.

One thing I would like to find is a group of other bachelor buddies who are on the same professional level to go out with. That's my only complaint.

As far as women I chose to be a few blocks from a major college. As long as you look the part dress a little younger there's no issues they all think I’m 25. From what you described you’ll be fine in this area.

Looking forward to seeing the answers on here.

[–]trpppp1232 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

One thing I would like to find is a group of other bachelor buddies who are on the same professional level to go out with. That's my only complaint.

I'm almost 30 and this is my biggest complaint honestly. Friends are becoming scarce as they marry off. When dating women in their late 20s and early 30s, the first thing they think of is getting married/kids before we've even gotten to know each other. The wall is strong.

And as you get older, your chances of finding a quality LTR diminish if kids are something you're interested in, because chances are if they're approaching 30, they're leftover hoes who took too long to get off the CC and guys don't want them for anything more than a casual fuckbuddy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on post. So as a close to 30 guy making six figures, in shape, and charismatic I’m supposed to settle down with someone who brings nothing to the table besides a couple years of good looks left with no personality. Hard pass

I’ve given up on the whole LTR/ and kids thing. Good thing I have four siblings that will pass on our genetic code.

[–]pilot3334 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

You have no reason to dress 25.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Probably a poor way of wording it. I’m normally in a suit and tie for work I just meant dress down a little bit. I remember in college always laughing at the one guy in a suit.

[–]pilot3333 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

depends on the school i guess. i went to a 1% school and the business school kids had to wear suits every day. you would know them when you see them. they were perceived as smart and rich as it was both a difficult and expensive program.

[–]drevil_[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I usually just wear a well fitted white t and some some nice jeans. I’ve had success with that look

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much the same fitted polo and jeans.

[–]Alzatorus5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

31 here and was recently making my way through a 21 yr old, 22 yr old, and 27 yr old. I say ‘recently’ as I decided to ltr the 22 yr old - she earned it.

As long as you look after yourself (health, career, prospects) and know how to talk to women (it’s so much easier once you’ve solidly set your frame and know precisely who you are) pussy is easy to acquire.

[–]4thAndLong4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm turning 30 in a few months. Since RP I've mainly gamed girls in the 21-24 age range with pretty good success. A girl asking your age is a shit test.

As for my friends who are married, stuck in shit relationships, and/or have kids... it sucks a bit. I like traveling and doing spontaneous shit. I don't have many friends that can hang with me much anymore.

[–]idevastate5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Better than your 20's. In our 20's we're just teenagers with a 2 in in the first age slot number.

You will absolutely be able to pick up college girls, in fact they get real into the idea, 30's is like a sweet spot, you're more mature than their idiot age group, but not their dad age. However, believe me when I say this, there will be mental changes in your maturity. College girls under 24-25 will have nothing to offer you other than looks, and even then most will be pretty meh at sex compared to what you'll find with a girl in her higher 20's.

[–]Ed4all154 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This...for the first time in a long time, I hooked up with a chick that was just about to turn 30...she may have not had her 22 year old looks anymore, but she was all about having great sex.

[–]idevastate4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

100%. I’ve been going for girls in their low 20’s for ages, hooked up with a 28 year old recently and it was... I mean wow. They lose their insecurities, they give back, they know what they like, they’ll talk dirty, they’re adventurous.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

-> 27 year old being too old for college chicks -> lol

[–]Hungboy69694202 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Last year at 27-28 I banged more college chicks than the previous few years combined

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL I'm approaching mid-30s and high school girls still flirt with me

[–]MajIssuesCaptObvious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'll adapt. I'm 43. Since my 20s, very year has been greater than the last, especially with dating. I find older women attractive, plus they're less likely to play mind games as women in their 20s and early 30s, although you will find a few who do, especially on dating apps.

[–]StolenSpirit1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Turning 27 this month and with 30 on the horizon I feel like life’s already over. Greatest hits were definitely late teens early 20s, didn’t see it back then of course. Every woman past 27 looks ridden hard and dating in your 30s with woman at that age is a straight boner kill. None of them look appealing. Everyone here seems to praise their 30s as being some new chapter of their inevitable ending up alone life, which I can see I’ll end up. You can dress up in your head that it’s going to be great but truth is your heading into old and balding territory. But I get it, for the sake of masking the depression gotta look happy on the outside. Young romances are the best, ultimately they make up your defining moments in your life. If you don’t meet and stay with someone when your in your 20s everything else is damaged goods. If I had any spine I’d off myself in hopes I could relive my youth or another and do it differently with a better social upbringing, and more supportive environmental factors that were outside of my control- or even just not making some the mistakes when I had it good it would of been a different future forsure. Best not to dwell on that shit, it’s not “TRP” way. But deeply engraved personality flaws are unfixable, and can’t be unbound. In a world where everything is boring and bland, organic new relationships just don’t happen.

[–]drevil_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn dude that was depressing as shit. I’m your age and I’ve been dating around for the past few months since I’ve been single and I’ve had decent success man with girls as young as 20. My age doesn’t even come up most of the time, I forgot that I’m way older than these girls. I’d say just get as shredded as possible and take care of your skin/teeth and getting laid shouldn’t be super difficult. I mean look it’s always gonna be harder for us because we’re men and we have to create our own luck with dating but when you look good as shit it doesn’t matter if your personality sucks, girls will overlook that. Check out Luxlife dating videos on YouTube that dude is very motivational and will help get your head screwed on straight

[–]DatRiggz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honest and brutal, hats off to you.

[–]AnonymousSportsExec1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm 56 and still sleep with women in their 20s.

You just have to be very fit and dress well.

I'm also black tho and black don't crack. Most women think I'm in my 30s.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do you believe in men age like wine?

[–]AnonymousSportsExec0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Without a doubt. Who's going to do better with women? The 25 year old with college loans living at home or the 35 year old who owns his own business and house.

[–]masterpiece003 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Possibly not, trps 'getting older more pussy' is wrong.

You'll be alone much of the time, any young girls you do fancy will be with 4 friends and 10 guys hovering that group, who will all be younger than you and with much greater social proof - basically most of them will be in school/college together and have been friends for 'years'.

You might find an outlier here and there but be prepared to take of RP's rose colored glasses of being older as you will be on your own with little company.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you misunderstood the advantage of being older. Girls looking to settle down tend to go for guys 33-38 who are 4-8 years older than them. Hook ups can be a bit different, sure.

[–]Hungboy69694201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea grabbing them at the bar when they're out with their group probably ain't the right way to approach it. Need to meet online so it's outside her circle

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

30 was a great year for me. If you pay attention to your shit, you can have a nice life as an older guy.

Further Reading:

Life After 30: How to Be an Old Guy

-You have one life. Here's how to enjoy it.

Older Men, Younger Women: How & When It Can Work

-For Older Men who prefer Younger Women, and vice versa.

Older Men, Younger Women, Part II

-More Fun With Younger Women.

For Online Daters, Women Peak at 18 While Men Peak at 50, Study Finds.

-Even More Fun With Younger Women.

[–]DatRiggz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuxk 30 is old? Brutal.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

as I get closer to and move past 30? Will I still be able to pick up college girls at the bar?

Yes.

[–]jkpj950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't sweat it.

[–]AngTheEphemeral0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How do you lift 6 days / week while still having enough time to recover in between workouts? What does your regimen look like?

[–]DatRiggz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Test and your weapon of choice

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

understand, about this 'drive' you feel to not be alone:

1) women will feel it 100x worse than you because they have a biological clock, you don't for anther 20-30 years

2) they will sense your thirst, so get that in check. if she thinks you're worried about being alone, look out. be ready for shittests and have some A&A responses ready to: "so are you gonna ever settle down?" "are you worried about not finding the right one?" etc.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“For the right girl 😏”

“No”

[–]JamieMadrox20200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

  1. If you still want “to be social” don’t move out to the suburbs. Stay in the city. Yes you won’t have a 2 door garage house with a picket fence like your married friends. But living in the suburbs can be a bigger barrier to making new friends/dating women (whichever your goal is) than “being old”.

  2. Depending on your city, you’d be surprised how many 30s singles there are.

  3. Go all in on your hobbies and interests. Not like “join a coed volleyball league to meet women”, but like go all in nerd about shit you actually like. At this point enjoy and own every moment of your life unapologetically.

  4. Gotta stay fit, but don’t be a gym rat either. Never needed to be, but you have things to do with your time.

  5. The solitude and loneliness feelings can come sometimes, but also the independence and freedom to do what you want is amazing. A little pleasure like going home when you want without having to justify it to anyone is great.

  6. If you are generally stress free, and fit, in terms of women the age thing doesn’t even come up in casual situations.

[–]slamdunktiger860 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Don’t finance shit.

Save cash.

Learn to invest with hedges.

Learn more skills.

Honestly, if I could be 27 again, (33 now), i would go monk fill I’m 30.

It’s the red plague right now away, just keep your head down, stack cash and maintain a low profile.

[–]drevil_[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the advice man. The hardest part is that most of my friends are wifed up or in serious LTRs at the moment so it's hard to find people to do shit with when you're single. Any advice on this besides finding a girlfriend?

[–]slamdunktiger860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No worries.

There’s lots of more masculine community groups out there.

Jiu Jitsu, boxing, mma Gun clubs Motorcycle clubs Civic groups - Rotary Men’s orgs — Freemasons/Shriners (i would stay away from the co-ed groups like Elk’s or Odd Fellows) Trading and investment groups — stocks, options, futures, forex

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 32 now and that is perfectly normal to have to thoughts.

It only gets better if you've been improving yourself in your 20s. Picking up girls at the bar can still happen but expect "how old are you?" shit tests. Just tell em "sit on my lap and tell me what you want for christmas." Also, expand your approaches in day game.

People comment that your seeing a girl in her 20s? Fuck em.

I would never be with a girl my age as most are now fat or weathered.

Realize this. Although it is normal, based on society, that a lot of your friends are married... even in their mid 20s. By the time they are 30s a great portion of those guys let themselves go and will be divorced.

[–]mikkeldaman-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy

Chicks seem to love balding guys for some reason. Also now you can brag about dating girls 10 years younger than you (also helps keeping up with the memes).

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

"Chicks seem to love balding guys for some reason"

...wait, what? Bald, buff, early 30s dude here. Chicks might subconsciously like the masculinity of a shaved head if you have a body that suits it, but almost no woman will actively choose to date a guy with a shaved head over someone with a full head of hair. Shaving your head without reason is poor advice.

[–]mikkeldaman0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am actually quite self-conscious about the balding (I haven't shaved yet) but I notice that as I'm approaching 30s I get more often approached by women than I used to when I was younger and women are far more responsive when I approach them. Still a baby face, same work out routine for the past 12 years. I figure it's my sexy receding hairline then.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha. I like your attitude. I don't think it's a good idea for guys with hair to shave it off...

...but for us irreversibly bald guys, believing we have higher SMV bald than not is probably the best mindset to have.

[–]knuglets0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

but almost no woman will actively choose to date a guy with a shaved head over someone with a full head of hair.

Completely disagree here. There are women who have told me they only go for bald guys. That I look sexy because I look like I'm in the military, etc.

What is true however, is that not many women will choose a guy who is insecure about being bald over someone who has hair and is not insecure. It is 1000% about how you rock it.

It's time to accept yourself and get over this insecurity you have that being bald is somehow inherently worse. It's just a hairstyle dude. It's not any inherently better or worse than any other hairstyle.

Some women will like it, others will not, the vast majority will not be moved by it one way or another.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to go outside

[–]brutwoodmac1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Happy birthday my guy 🎂🎉

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]brutwoodmac2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm celebrating the birth of his Reddit account.



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