I might have fucked up by being too real and outspoken about my edgy opinions. I might have been acting like a cuckservative by allowing arguments with stupid people. But damn I feel suffocated by how insanely stupid people can be. Infantile ego protecting behaviors, acting like pieces of shit and making other peoples days worse because of deep rooted fears they’re too scared to adress. People in my class saying gender is a social construct, people looking at me like I’m weird for trying to be positive and spread good vibes and speaking what’s on my mind. I provide actual value and want the best for people but few people really see it. People would rather be miserable fucking slaves and act like bucket crabs.

I lowkey feel like I don’t really give a shit about what people think of me anymore. Always was trying to fit in and shit, but now I just feel like life is pointless and the only person I can trust to be intelligent is myself and people I choose to look up to because I say so. I used to think everybody knew a secret thing I didn’t and that I was retarded, but now I just realized I’m smarter than like 90% of the population. Doesn’t make me better, just really makes me mad how stupid people act because I can read them too easily and don’t even feel like playing my part because it’s pointless.

It’s like I have nothing to say even though I’m a great brilliant guy and I like myself. As soon as I open my mouth about cool shit people always try to make it about how they’re above certain stuff or start coping because they’re striving too much for comfort. Most people think dogshit is value, and then look at you like you’re talking about dogshit when you’re passionate about actual dope shit. I feel like I shouldn’t even try to make more friends because people are fucking retarded and poison my brain. I only have like 3-4 friends that I actually trust to want the best for me, to the extent that it’s possible. Also starting to realize how some people are really jealous of my looks and try to keep me from realizing my power, I’m 6’2 and have done some modelling been told I’m good looking my entire life.

Everyone is a hypocrite, so insecure they’re always trying to put others down. Female teachers who act too bossy to compensate for too obvious insecurities. Have this friend who I’ve known for like 4 years and I started hanging out with him because he looked depressed and like had potential to become a really chill dude if he had a positive influence. We’ve had good times but now he’s always trying to AMOG me in front of friends in autistic ways cuz power hungry, thinking about it he doesn’t really provide value at all and he’s always putting on an act. I’m avoiding him like COViD but feel like shit about it because I know his pain.

This dude in my class too who is a retarded IQ80 Dark Triad. Piece of shit stoner who always tries to micromanage everyone, out on a smoke break and covertly tells me ”let’s go here” when were taking a turn into another street like he’s some tribe leader and I’m a stupid beta. I just laugh and play along because the dude won’t amount to anything compared to me in the future after school. Like who the fuck is that stupid and transparent, dude even told me ”I have a psychopath mindset tbh” and smiled like it was an accomplishment. So many people are like that, trying to act head honcho when they’re worthless pieces of shit with nothing going on in their life. Not even like good or respectable alpha males just loser tryhards. Worst part is that they fool people. They don’t provide value, they just push other people down. No authenticity, self-awareness or spreading of fun. They forgot the whole point.

Now during quarantine I find myself thinking too much about how stupid people are, but I’m also starting to self amuse more which feels good. How the fuck do you avoid this shit in your life? Become rich, do a lot of dope shit, create your own fucking planet with only a few people on it, fuck random sloots from cold approach, after all accomplishments be the alpha everyone look ups to and actually be a good leader so it’s all a good vibe for everyone wit no pessimists allowed? Just turned 19 and almost done with school so basically got my whole life ahead of me but damn I’m really tired of people being worthless and stupider than me.

I know it sounds like a cope but I really really hate how few people I can relate to or vibe with. Very grateful for the people I actually like, but I feel very alone. I know I’m the player character in this game but still, I just want to smoke weed and listen to good music. That’s literally the only motivation to keep going. Get paper, buy real estate and live off passive income so I can sit on my ass with my bong, get a dog and listen to good records all day and have a home gym. I’m so fucking tired of retarded people.

Sorry for acting like a bitch bros but this stuff is bugging me for real. I don’t want to be a negative victimized bitch about this but I really have a hard time getting used to how retarded people are. Most people have born to fail tattooed on their foreheads and point fingers at me like I’m the one who should be ashamed. I feel strong resentment for people and I don’t want to. I want to share good vibes but it’s hard in a retarded low IQ monkey base impulses bad vibe market. This resentment for stupid people in my immediate surroundings is probably holding me back from having the positive mindset that helps in talking to and finding actual cool people. Resentment, anger and judgment make you a very off-putting person and I get too complacent and don’t even try to talk to new people because of all this shit. Feels like a waste of time but I still value increasing my social skills