CMV: Being a woman's beta bux is worse than being with a young golddigger?

brokegradstudent_93 · 2020-04-04T14:23:19+00:00

So if you didn’t meet a woman until you were both in your 30s, she is attracted to you and enthusiastically wants to have sex with you, it doesn’t count? The idea that if you don’t find someone when you are 18 that all of the future women you meet will not find you attractive is just crazy.

Tek_Analyst · 2020-04-04T15:56:20+00:00

When you’re with a gold digger you’re making a choice.

When you’re the betabux you’re usually blinded and hopeful.

These are much different mentalities, and the difference is really in how you feel when both of these scenarios ultimately come to an end.

Nibahbe · 2020-04-04T14:03:47+00:00

Well, my dude, I have to inform that this is indeed obvious. The problem is that finding a young woman who is willing to be with you at 35 is not going to be much easier than when you were 18, unless you are suddenly a billionaire in your 30s. If you are the average Joe you have gained a regular job which will qualify you as a betabux, but definitely not enough to attract a young gold digger.

jflc3l · 2020-04-04T17:46:41+00:00

[deleted]

foomly · 2020-04-04T17:05:48+00:00

It's a mating strategy to shame men that date younger. I'd say just do what makes you happy and understand that people shaming you are doing it out of envy.

piguy31415 · 2020-04-04T17:13:54+00:00

Most of these beta relationships actually work fine until they get married. The woman is on good behavior, having sex regularly, acts pleasant. And then after they get married its like a switch is flipped. The woman gets fat, stops fucking the husband, turns into a nagging bitch. Beta bux all you want fellas but don't get married or have kids.

kamexon · 2020-04-04T16:00:49+00:00

Both bad. Period.

siberiansummer · 2020-04-04T20:21:02+00:00

Well prepare to make lots and lots of money if you want a late teen/woman in her early 20s to date you/marry you. She won’t go after just a regular 100k/year paycheck. And still - a lot of women won’t even go after money. I remember myself at that age. I honestly didn’t care how much money a man had, I couldn’t imagine myself with someone who was 27+. TRP really does a lot of men disservice by telling them it’s normal and common. Young women go after looks, hence CC is a thing

katiesaysthings · 2020-04-04T14:28:12+00:00

If you can pull that off - go for it dude. The problem is that you’ll need to be earning a significantly higher amount of money to attract a young 20s woman vs an older 30s woman. Like the young 20s woman will take you if you are very, very rich. The older woman will mainly just want you to be making a slightly above average income, or matching her income. One is a lot more achievable than the other.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-04-04T13:53:21+00:00

With golddigger you at least now where you are standing at.

When you are buxing some woman, she will make you think youre the shit and you wont get much benefits out of that relationship.

ctrl_f_sauce · 2020-04-04T21:47:21+00:00

What if, not it’s just an idea, you do you in an effort to be happy?

I was a psycho at 18. Maybe I thought girls didn’t like me because I was ugly, but maybe it was because I was still inventing secret club hand shakes?

katiesaysthings · 2020-04-04T15:56:47+00:00

Why do people think that a relationship doesn’t count if it lacks the initial intensity of two horny teenagers?

Your logic is wrong. People change, especially over a span of decades. We change in looks, maturity, personality, and how we navigate the world. Having the same expectations of people at 40 that you had at 18 is utterly ridiculous. You can’t judge a grown ass person by their values when they were 18.

It’s literally the RP/MGTOW version of cutting off their nose to spite their face.

Texan2116 · 2020-04-04T17:05:34+00:00

Sorta agree, and sorta disagree..In high school, I was the 100 lb skinny dude, that got zero attention from the ladies. at 22 I met my future wife (19 at time) didnt realize or consider that I was essentially rescuing her from a bad home life.By this point, I was in better shape, and had a decent job. After my divorce 30 years later...I am now at a point where I am in good shape(I am easily in the top 25% of guys my age.), and have a great job. Guess what...not to hard to find a date , although on online dating you gotta compete w a bunch of guys who are lower value, but not obvious about it. Thats my story, and I am sticking to it. Most people look to marry up. could be money, looks, sexual prowess, but something they want "better" than they have had.

smokecheck1976 · 2020-04-04T17:32:18+00:00

No, being oblivious is the real danger. Some dude wants to take care of a woman that ignored him until the "hot guys" started ignoring her and take care of her fornications trophies, not all of whom are the type she takes cute pictures of, that's his business, all of it, as long as he clearly understands what he is getting into wand what chances he is taking, to get at best, her second or third rate efforts. To me, oblivious is just as dangerous if she still possesses her youth but is willing to use him for his money.

Know what you are getting into. No what the risks are and that the other side can change it's mind for any reason or no reason at any time. Make your plans based on that.

wtknight · 2020-04-04T20:17:57+00:00

[removed]

flamingoinghome · 2020-04-04T20:24:24+00:00

It's just silly to think that you changing doesn't change how people feel about you.

Real golddiggers, you can tell. But this idea that you're "the same person" when you've aged and gotten more mature and gotten your shit together is absurd. You're different. You changed. People who felt differently about you years back (or particularly people you assume would have felt differently, based on shoddy evidence) are not acting strangely or dishonestly--you're a different person. It is right for them to feel differently. It is far, far weirder and borderline suspicious for someone's feelings about you not to change at all even when you change substantially.

I swear, first guys on here were incapable of believing women ever change, now they're saying men don't either. It's ridiculous. People change. Yes, even you.

honeydewmelonz · 2020-04-04T15:42:02+00:00

Ugh it’s so creepy when older men are interested in girls in their teens - 20s. You sound like a predator. It’ll be easier for you to date someone your own age. Young gold diggers aren’t very common unless she is from a third world country, desperate and you are her only chance at a better life. It’s not realistic to think healthy, beautiful young girls would suddenly change and become attracted to creepy old men for you to have a shot. There‘s no reason for her to date you when she is getting attention from attractive guys her age that are active, exciting, fit into her social circle and is able to keep up.

Garrick17 · 2020-04-04T18:50:35+00:00

Beta bux what is that explain it please

[deleted] · 2020-04-04T19:25:55+00:00

Attractiveness is pretty objective. Although black is true (it is banned) so I like how you covertly insert one. You are quite intelligent :)

Braincellular · 2020-04-04T22:48:28+00:00

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, but I don't know if this is entirely true that beta-provider relationships are inherently unfulfilling. The problems is that guys go into them with false unrealistic fairy-tale expectations. You can probably have a fulfilling relationship with the right woman but it's not going to be the same kind of relationship you imagined as a younger man. This woman might be tough to find admittedly (maybe a lot of women are too far gone I don't know) but you can't really control that. You have to realize what you're getting into, and the trouble is most men don't have a clue. Basically, from a RP perspective its all about frame and your ability to hold it as a man. You basically have to do a calculation based on what you want, i.e. if you want kids, and try to pick a woman who can add value to your life, and vet her like crazy, and you accept that you're making that sacrifice (like you get married, you know the sex is probably going to go down etc). I don't know, maybe if you do that you it isn't really "beta-buxing" since you aren't since you made an authentic choice.

By dating a 30 something women you get NOTHING!

Yeah, again, I don't know if you get "nothing" per se, you might get some kind of connection with somebody, not be alone, some stability, etc. Maybe good sex for a while when she's trying to lock you down. It just kind of depends on what you mean by "genuine."

That being said, its generally not a good idea, and, I basically agree with this:

A lot of women here seem to think that if said guy dates any of these women his relationship is then genuine. I couldn't disagree more. If a woman doesn't find you attractive enough when she's 18, she has no reason to want you when she's 30.

And this:

At least the younger woman respected you enough to give you her prime years instead of using them chasing good-looking alphas.

With older women, it's harder to tell if their attraction is genuine, with experienced women it's always going to be an issue because that doubt is always going to be there. Maybe if you can recognize it and somehow be okay with it, it might work, but probably not everyone can do that, nor should they even try (source: I have personal experience with this). Dating a younger woman is always better in that sense, its less likely she's "settling" for you. And even if she's gold-digging, well you still get her in her prime, so in that sense I agree with it.

But here's the thing, unless you as a guy managed to find a girlfriend, when you were young, who supported you and built you up, none of your relationship later on will be genuine.

The caveat I would add here is that these relationships don't always work out perfectly either. It's not a secret that a lot of early marriages end in divorce and they can be totally sexless, among other problems. Some of this is probably cultural (no-fault divorce, peer pressure on women to "find themselves", etc). A younger guy who has only been with one woman his entire life probably doesn't exactly know how to hold frame. Since there's basically no consequences for women now it's a precarious situation to be in, although this depends on the situation I guess.

In fact this is one of these things that sounds "red-pill" but is actually pretty much steeped in naive blue/black-pilled idealism. Incels like to harp on this ("its over if you didn't experience teen love") but the truth is you basically have to let go of this notion. Brutal, but that's the reality we have to face.

DicamVeritatem · 2020-04-05T02:17:48+00:00

OP, the scenario you described is an EXTREMELY common one.

And seldom mentioned.

VetteVet83 · 2020-04-04T14:03:58+00:00

Nothing wrong with being the bux in a relationship. As long as she is hot enough to be worth the cost, enjoy it til the pussy stops flowing freely and willingly....then turn the money tap off. She’ll remove herself shortly after and you can buy a new toy.

Women are like sports cars. Fun to ride, sexy, expensive, high maintenance and finicky.

When your old sports car becomes too much of the latter half of the sentence, You sell it to someone who either collects classics or can only afford an older, used problematic sports car.

Then you take your wallet down to the sports car dealership, and buy the new one that you like. Then you flog the shit out of that one until its old and worn out too. Rinse and repeat.

crookedsummer2019 · 2020-04-04T14:48:52+00:00

If he’s fit, good looking and looks younger then she is more likely to have genuine sexual attraction and not just be attracted to his wallet.

There are some fine looking older men out there for sure :). Bonus to her if he has a fat wallet.

But if’s he’s ugly then yeah he has a young hot wife but he would have to be delusional to think she’s sexually attracted to him. Plus the chances are high she’s getting the sex she really wants on the side with a younger more attractive man.

But if the choice is to be used by an older gold digger or be used by a younger more attractive gold digger, then yeah it’s better to be used by the younger more attractive one.

AttachableSheep · 2020-04-04T17:21:40+00:00

Today I learned:
Women over 30 aren't beautiful or young

If you can't get a relationship at 18, it's over for you, you can no longer connect with people

Relationships that are formed when you are both 30 aren't worth it, because if you are a guy she will be using you for money

Sounds a lot like incel logic, but okay.

2020-04-04T17:41:51+00:00

What’s missing in your analysis is how childlike teens and early 20’s people are. You don’t know what you will and won’t put up with until you’ve been in these incompatible trial relationships. The majority of people experiment with serial monogamy until they understand themselves.

Only the most extreme martyrs will stick around and build someone up that they are fundamentally incompatible with. It’s really the luck of the draw, odds, timing and the rest that your first one or two chances in your youth will endure until happily ever after.

In a transactional relationship you are basically negotiating to obtain a product you expect will expire, based on her economic need and your physical/mental attraction to that imbalance of power. There is no longevity. There is no mutual pleasure. I concur that you’ll be able to pluck a rose before it’s full bloom, but that bloom will die. And then what do you have? A woman who will inevitably age, that never loved you. That is preferable to meeting on equitable terms in true compatibility?

nop1llz · 2020-04-04T19:15:35+00:00

There’s both men and women that want to mess around when they’re young. Young people tend to be shallow. Many people that are here complaining about it would likely have done the same thing would they have had the option, yet women get most of the hate for it. I’m sure there’s plenty of average looking women with good personalities that they have overlooked themselves.

These guys that were overlooked in their youth may just not have taken care of their looks, were insecure or didn’t go out much, but maturing made them more attractive to women. Beards, dressing style, and the confidence that can come with age helps.

I also think this whole thing is overstated. Lots of young women don’t participate in hookup culture. But there’s also a lack of younger guys that look for relationships. So you’re mostly only punishing yourself if you want a genuine connection yet go for a golddigger.

Innovative_being · 2020-04-04T19:28:14+00:00

Yes, at least if I’m with a young gold digger I’ll get most of the years of her youthful prime.

Being a beta bucks to a post wall CC rider is worse in every way

Male lurkers, ignore all the women in the comments trying to make excuses for the post wall women suddenly hitting you up when you’re in your 30s. Ignore them, listen to the OP

Ahhshit96 · 2020-04-04T20:49:05+00:00

Yeah b what you find attractive can change as you get older

LeJacquelope · 2020-04-04T18:45:49+00:00

No. Women aren't worthless in their 30's, and are still in the same boat as you., they failed to find a partner by that time and were getting a career. Dating someone younger than you, and using your status as an older person is by default being exploitative.

Carrying on people change as they age. They get wiser. You wouldn't date an ugly girl when you were 18. So why should a cute girl have to date you if you were ugly at 18? You're being a hypocrite and not practicing what you preach, and instead are saying using status as a way to explore a teenager fresh out of highschool is better than entering a relationship than someone who you have less of a shot at exploiting, simple because shes your age. Further more, you didn't know all the people you date in your age group when you were 18, even less when you're 30.

LotBuilder · 2020-04-04T17:15:47+00:00

I’ve dated every which way. I was a Chad, then had a 16 year marriage, then came out of that to a different world. I am still considered quite the catch among women my age... the problem is even hot 40 yo women don’t attract me. Even if they are still fit and beautiful they have kids and other emotional baggage I’m not interested in. Tried it and didn’t like it. They complain a lot. Then I turned to dating younger women who are more free spirited and carefree. First it was regular dating and now it’s sugar dating. I prefer sugar dating because there are clear boundaries. I also prefer sugar dating relationships because at my income level ALL dating is sugar dating.

Volunteering to be Pseudo “beta bux” for a 3-6 month relationship is a very fun life strategy. You get to sample a wide variety of hotties for very little in comparison to marriage. They give you the full Chad treatment trying to land you or get more. Secondly, they are as real as any other relationship in 2020. For women “love” is a fleeting feeling. Many of my girls have professed their love for me because we had a great weekend and it triggered their feels.

It’s like buying a car (LTR’s) vs leasing. You are going to spend $500/mo either way. For that same $500 you can own a Dodge Charger or you can lease a BMW, then an Audi, then a Benz, then a Jag. For me... leasing is the better option.

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YveisGrey · 2020-04-05T02:12:07+00:00

I heard women make statements like this, it goes something like this: “since all men are dogs might as well just find a rich old sugar daddy and steal his money”. Pretty toxic way of looking at the world but hey these women and the OP may be a match made in heaven

YveisGrey · 2020-04-05T06:31:59+00:00

This post is so messed up. A woman over 30 offers nothing to a man she is dating? Dude obviously has sociopathic misogynistic tendencies.

rus9384 · 2020-04-05T07:49:53+00:00

Most betas are not rich enough for golddiggers, though.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-04-05T18:10:54+00:00

I find it weird that so many dudes on here who are average or below average looking who constantly complain about getting overlooked by women for not being physically attractive enough complain when women find them attractive for something other than their looks.

jflc3l · 2020-04-04T18:03:47+00:00

It’s really sad to see this clusterfuck of low iq FDS, TRP, MSTOW and other stupid copers.What a load of crap, saying things like

people change, how do you know that she would have rejected you? MuH PrEfErenCeS evolved teehee

If she didn’t get with you in her early twenties then it is solely because of your looks.

Basically she gets to spend her best years of life dating and having sex with hot men(top 20%) partying and living it up and when she decides to settle she gets a loyal husband that will never cheat(you) because he can’t lol.

In contrast you realise you are too ugly to go out partying to get laid and spend your entire youth alone in your room studying, wanking, working gruelling jobs to accumulate resources and spending a decade of loneliness. All that for a used up woman who rejected you biologically and now wants your resources in exchange for once a month starfish sex that she is disgusted by and if you’re fortunate she doesn’t divorce rape you.

Do you think this is fair?

cman94elder · 2020-04-04T18:57:00+00:00

Who cares what Western women think. Date foreign, work on your self and make money. I don’t consider modern Western woeman fully human tbh.

meditr · 2020-04-04T19:03:10+00:00

Well being repeatedly rejected in your 20s must be pretty traumatizing so I'm really sorry you went through that, that really sucks. That being said, you're under no obligation to date any of the women who rejected you before (or any women you don't want to date, really).

ontherailstoday · 2020-04-04T19:17:14+00:00

I knew someone who in 1996 thought he was sitting pretty with a woman twelve years younger than him. Turns out in 2010 all he wanted to do at age 50 was get their kids through the last of their schooling and prepare for retirement... and she wanted to get their kids through their schooling and spend a few years having fun. She cashed out the relationship so she could do what she wanted. So instead of the younger wife with good job to handle the living costs, and tonnes of assets and a quiet life he expected at age 60 he's got work and work and more work while she has her good job, a well off good looking boyfriend her own age, half the assets and child support until the kids finish university. He's very bitter but really what can you expect? This was built into the dynamic, that at age 50 when he was feeling both a need to prepare to slow down and consolidate and also a lagging libido he was still going to need to treat her like a fucking queen and never let up or make it about his need to slow down, or she would be out of there.

I'm not telling you not to go for the younger woman if that's what you think is best value but ffs look at the entire of the span of the relationship from the point of view of each of you, and recognise she's a woman who likes nice things and fun times and is not going to want to slow down when you do and she's going to pull away unless you keep up with her. she's going to be wanting her holidays and her parties and her kitchen refurbishment with granite counter tops and you to find a way not to drift off snoring in your chair like the old man you are. And do';t say "oh that's great I won't want to grow old either" because what happens will happen, exercise and diet only does so much for you.

azngirl7689 · 2020-04-04T16:47:41+00:00

IMO the BB position is more legit and emotionally fulfilling than being with a gold digger. You can’t have sex all the time, being with someone who you can talk to is nice.

majani · 2020-04-04T20:35:54+00:00

I worry about how popular this ugly duckling narrative is in TRP. For the average dude when younger, he should be reasonably good looking enough to have a good success rate with women. In fact the average dude should look at his younger years with fondness about how good he looked back then. TRP might indeed be an incel haven at this point

tommydagun · 2020-04-04T17:19:27+00:00

This puts too much of an emphasis on money. As much as anyone else, women also just wind up settling for the best they can get by a certain age. (And, of course, the men they wind up with are settling for them too.) It's not necessarily all about money, or even principally about money. If you've really got a lot of money, maybe you can punch above your weight and wind up with the IG model looking for a sugar daddy. If you're on just, like, a normal, steady career progression, you probably just do what I described above and settle down with someone close to your own age when your rising and her declining SMVs cross at some point.

almostufcfighter · 2020-04-04T17:45:50+00:00

Nobody like gold diggers.

SILENTSAM69 · 2020-04-04T15:20:22+00:00

While TRP teaches that being a provider is no longer as attractive as it once was, now that women have the option to provide for themselves, or have the state force an ex to still provide for her, but that does not mean it is actually worthless. Being a provider is not a bad position. It just is not the only trait you can rely on.

Most men who are alpha are also providers. If a guy is a leader, and financially successful because of it, then the woman will be attracted to him as both a protector, and a provider. You can't discount his alpha leadership just because he also makes money.

Now if being a provider is all you offer, and you just barely provide enough to get by, then it is up to you to improve yourself in other ways to also make her feel that you are a protector. Go to the gym. Do a morning run. Read more. A strong mind complements a strong body well.

CMV: Being a woman's beta bux is worse than being with a young golddigger?

It is not about whether a person wants to date you, it is for what reasons,

Their preferences change because they lose collagen and with that comes significantly lesser options in attractive men

Their preferences change because they lose collagen and with that comes significantly lesser options in the men they find hot

If she didn’t get with you in her early twenties then it is solely because of your looks.

Title	CMV: Being a woman's beta bux is worse than being with a young golddigger?
Author	mngrg4
Upvotes	80
Comments	316
Date	April 4, 2020 1:04 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/futdff/cmv_being_a_womans_beta_bux_is_worse_than_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-being-a-womans-beta-bux-is-worse-than-being.360644 https://theredarchive.com/post/360644