TL;DR: I finally popped my cherry at the old age of 29 after years upon years of self improvement, eating healthy, working out, and building up confidence and becoming more assertive. It is thanks to the advice of this subreddit and the material that you guys have recommended.
I grew up in a Chinese immigrant family that prioritised academic success above all else. As I got older (middle school/high school) I was interested in having a girlfriend by my mother was dead set against it as it would distract from my academic performance. My mother was also physically and emotionally abusive. I was never taught to love myself and I grew up with zero self-esteem. This was worsened by getting bullied.
Suffice to say, I did manage to go to a good University. It was also a University that was known for being a matchmaker. "You'll find your spouse here" they said. But I had no social skills. I didn't know how to talk to girls. The girls I kept asking out kept flaking out on me or preferred to be friends. I suppose on top of my lack of confidence and social acumen, I was also fat and unhealthy.
Fast forward a few years later. I started to notice a pattern in all the women who took advantage of me. My abusive mother, my close female friend who had gone down the path of radical feminism, the girl who constantly kicked me in high school.
They saw me as worthless and saw fit to treat me like trash. I contemplated suicide seriously at one point, and my family intervened, but negatively. They didn't tell me how much I meant to them, but how much of a bastard I was for even thinking of doing it.
One day, I decided that I would not tolerate it a day longer. I decided to stand up for myself and put myself first.
There was so much pent up aggression and anger. And the media does make a habit of telling young men like you and me that it's never OK to be angry. At that point, I no longer cared. You can't force someone into a corner and not expect him to start fighting ferociously for his life.
So that's what I did. I started going to the gym. I cut ties with friends who did not contribute to my self-esteem and who were a negative influence (and I enforced a no-female friend policy as well, as most of them were negative). I started reading material that was constructive, such as Mark Manson's Models, The Rational Male, No Mr. Nice Guy (amazing book for anyone starting out), and the 48 Laws of Power. I forged more meaningful friendships. I started putting my foot down more, allowing myself to not be so nice to those who weren't deserving of it.
Most of all, I decided to start believing in myself. If I didn't, who would?
The results did not come instantly. I was still getting flaked on and rejected. A girl who I felt like I had an intense connection found love somewhere else. People my age were beginning to get married.
But I persevered. I kept going to the gym, pushing myself to run faster and lift heavier. I stopped eating junk food as often and started gravitating towards healthy food that I liked. I stopped seeing people who put me down and started hanging out with emotionally supportive (but still able to constructively criticise) friends. No matter what, I was going to keep calm and carry on.
2019 was a very sad year for me. It was the year most of my friends turned 30. Most of the girls I liked were born in the late 80s and by the standards of this sub, already smacked into the Wall. Moreoever, while I'm happy for him, my brother got married, and so have a few of my friends, making me wonder if the human race is truly going to abandon me.
But I kept going. And as fortune would have it, I met a nice, smiling girl one day. I gave no fucks at all, started being handsy with her, taking charge. I ended up kissing her and she kissed back passionately. Before I knew it, we were back at my flat and not only did I pop my cherry, I managed to do something that most people couldn't do: make my first time special.
I didn't have sex before, but I did some research into how to please a woman, and I performed so well she wasn't really convinced that I was really losing my virginity to her.
But here I am, writing this post. I don't know if there's any logical value, but I hope this inspires anyone reading this to persevere on this path. If you're feeling down, depressed that no one likes you, or you're reading some dumb article on Salon about how virgins like you are dangerous and toxic to women and society, just remember: there are many like you out there and by taking life in your own hands, you are doing both yourself and society a favour.
But if you had to take any piece of advice from this post, I will say this: put yourself first. Learn to love yourself and accept who you are. Of course, that doesn't mean rest on your laurels and being narcissistic about your imperfections like the so-called Body Positivity Model, but understand that if you can't love yourself, you won't be able to love anybody else.
But above all, I want to thank this subreddit from the bottom of my heart. This group gets so much shit for being "toxic" or "misogynistic" and being labelled the "alt-right of gender politics". But in reality? You haven't just done young men a massive favour, you've done right by the young women who have benefitted from these improved young men.
I would have been a pathetic, angry incel had it not been for you guys. I probably would have done something very harmful, either to myself or to someone else and it terrifies me to the core even thinking about that. So thank you TheRedPill, you've saved my life, and I hope you'll continue saving more lives.
I made this account because I can't really be seen publicly endorsing this subreddit, and I might be deleting this throwaway soon. But I just wanted to express my gratitude and hope others will feel inspired by this story
EDIT: Post was automatically removed because I linked to this subreddit, which apparently isn't allowed. Hope this amended post is OK