Introduction:

Men form our hierarchies by recognizing value of the members of the given social group. The guys that provide the highest value to the group are placed on top of the hierarchy, while the lowest value members are placed at the bottom. The male social hierarchy is usually formed after a couple of days after the members get to know each other. It rarely changes, so you have to make a good first impression in order to acquire the highest position possible.

Body:

The Male Social Hierarchy

There are roughly four different levels in the male social hierarchy. You need to understand motivations behind the behaviors of different levels and recognize them in real life in order to achieve success in your social circle. If you want to be at the top of the hierarchy then your goal is to give everyone what they want.

  • Omegas - They have the lowest value in the hierarchy. Omegas are taking all the value from the group and have nothing to offer back. Those are the guys that buy drinks to a women they've just met and try to bribe them and buy their time with it. They crave acceptance so your task is to give it to them. You give them the acceptance by acknowledging their existence and saying something like: "You know what? I like you, you're a cool guy!" while giving them pat on the back.

  • Gronks - They don't feel as valuable as other people so they try to decrease value of everyone else instead of raising their value. They think that they have do be the most dominant guy in the room in order to get respect that they crave so much. They were omegas at one point in their life, that's why they act aggressive, insulting and loud to cover it up. Gronks feel unappreciated and endangered so they act combative. They are the most frustrating group to control in the social setting. Gronks want to be appreciated and respected for being powerful, so you should give them what they want. Don't ever try to fight (verbally or physically with them) as they become even bigger pain in the ass, instead say to them something like: "Man, I really respect you for speaking your mind."

  • Betas - Betas are competitive, meaning that they only feel valuable as long as they are the highest value guy in the room. When there is a guy of a higher value then them, they act passive-aggressive and try to challenge him with verbal attacks. You neutralize betas by showing them that they are already valuable in your eyes and that they don't have to battle you. For example, you say something like: "I really appreciate your help in the last project, without you we wouldn't be be able do it on time."

  • Alphas - They have the highest value in the hierarchy. They are cooperative and gain value by making other people feel better about themselves and more valuable. Alphas understand the male social hierarchy that's why they always try to rise everyone's value. They try to make people feel good, appreciate them and say good things about them and focus on bringing positive aspects of others.

How To Be An "Alpha" In Your Social Circle:

When we meet someone for the fist time, we (subconsciously) ask ourselves these two questions:

  • »Fight or flight?«

  • »Friend or foe?«

To answer the first question, we try to assess how much power the person has. To answer the second question, we try to assess how much the person likes us. Charismatic people appear to possess both - high power and high warmth. These two qualities are not real core component of charisma though. Charismatic people possess the real core component of charisma, the foundation upon which all else is built - presence. When you interact with a charismatic master you can feel like his power and his warmth are there only for you, you feel like they could »move mountains for you«. Charismatic people make others feel appreciated and good about themselves.

Source: The Charisma Myth

How to act charismatic?

  • Understand that charisma = power + warmth + presence. You need to have all three qualities in order to be alpha (charismatic). Have only power and you will be seen as arrogant, have only warmth and you will be seen as needy.

  • Understand male social hierarchy, raise everyone's value.

  • Make strong first impression. Look good, smell good, have a strong handshake and control you voice.

  • Hold eye-contact. Try to really look into the persons' eyes, try to see the color of the eyes.

  • Body language > verbal language. No matter your appearance, title, or even through others' deference, a body language of insecurity will kill charisma on the spot.

  • You can't fake confidence, even if you do your body language will betray you. You have to be confident, there is no other way around.

  • Remember people's names and use them, people like hearing their names.

  • Show genuine interest in people, learn about them and their interests. Try to find something you have in common as soon as possible.

  • Start conversations with strangers by commenting on the environment.

  • Best conversation topics: FORD (Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams)

  • Worst conversation topics: RAPE (Religion, Abortion, Politics, and Economics)

  • Form strong connections with people, you do this by talking less and listening more. Let the other person do the talking.

  • Always be present during conversation, if you feel like your mind is fading away, bring yourself back to reality.

  • Don't ever, ever interrupt someone when they're speaking.

  • Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences, reduce how quickly and how often you nod, and pause for two full seconds before you speak.

  • Don't criticize. By criticizing someone you hurt their pride and they put themselves in the defensive mode and start hating on you.

  • Never complain or moan.

  • Avoid arguments, because you can never win. Even if you win the argument you make other person feel inferior, hurt his pride and make him resent you.

  • When you fuck up, admit that you are wrong.

  • Don't break your frame. Don't let anything get under your skin. Never seem annoyed or nervous, smile often and laugh loudly when something is funny to you.

  • Learn how to accept compliments. Stop, absorb the compliment, let that show on your face, and thank the person.

  • Avoid using "no problem" or "don't worry," because people will remember "problem" or "hurry." Rephrase, like "we'll take care of it."

Conclusion:

There is a male social hierarchy in every social setting. If you want to be on top, you need to understand it and use it to your own advantage. You can't define "alphas" by how they look. "Alphas" are nothing other than the guys with the highest-value in the room that understand male social hierarchy and know how to act accordingly.

Take care.