You might think the first RPer I ever met in person is one of you, perhaps a year or so ago. Nope. In fact I met him almost 40 years ago, when I was not even 10 years old. Looking back, in retrospect, "Nick" was a prototype RPer; a man swimming against the full force tide of second wave feminism, and having a great time doing it.

It was 1977, in the Chicago burbs. I was 9 years old and was with my parents and sisters for a long weekend visiting my uncle (mom's brother) who was getting remarried. Uncle Dave had had it tough after his divorce two years prior; but was getting back on his feet financially. In just a short two years, Uncle Dave was getting remarried (he would divorce her 17 years, an abortion, a car wreck, and her pill addiction later).

Nick was Uncle Dave's landlord. He was late 40s - early 50s, himself divorced with grown and gone kids. He was trim for his age; or so I thought. I was used to seeing men who were carrying an extra 30 or so pounds in a belly paunch at that age, like Dad did, and my friends' fathers did. Earned a good living as senior management for a local bank (back then, banks were much more local and more decentralized than they are now). Lived in a good sized house of his own in the suburbs; with a finished basement he'd converted into an apartment and rented out to Uncle Dave.

We didn't see Nick too much (he was "Mr. Smith" to me), but every time we did see him, he was always with a different woman. And he was always glad to see everyone who came around. Would hand out dollar bills to my sisters and me when we came to visit (you know, that "hey, shake my hand, pal" trick). He teased my sisters relentlessly, calling them "cutie" and "honey" and intentionally mispronouncing their names, much to their delight and bewilderment. He'd make them laugh until they squealed. He always had a good word for Dad, willing to make conversation, and would do anything for you. He was kind to and jovial with Grandma (Uncle Dave's mother), who he treated with alternates of small talk and overt flirting.

Well. I wasn't used to men who acted like this. Neither was anyone else in my immediate family.

Nick would often chat up mom, who at the time was a short haired quasi-feminist-but-not-really-cuz-we-go-to-church-but-we're-enlightened-cuz-we-watch-Mary-Tyler-Moore woman. Nick always wanted to chit chat, lightly touching her on the arm, or when getting her a drink, lightly directing her to the kitchen -- often in front of and in full view of whoever else was around.

Well. Mom did not like that one bit, though she was "polite" to Nick's face.

"Nick is such a jerk. Too forward. Loud, arrogant. Full of himself ASS." Dad would chime in: "Eh, big deal." The only person who loudly proclaimed her disdain for Nick was Mom.

Nick was the life of the party at Uncle Dave's wedding reception. He helped pay for it by getting them a discount at a friend's banquet hall, and sprang for most of the booze. Nick insisted on dancing with all the women at the wedding, including Mom, who once again was "polite" but complained about it -- and Nick -- for two days afterwards. Nick, for his part, had a great time at the reception. He really did dance with all the women at the reception -- including the bridesmaid, the matron of honor, and my 12 year old sister (leaving only my younger sister to Dad's tender mercies).

Uncle Dave and his new wife eventually moved out of Nick's basement apartment. They bought their own house, built a life and later ended their increasingly screwed up marriage. Everyone lost touch with Nick. I haven't seen Nick since I was 11 and I don't know what happened to him. He's almost surely dead by now.

The only person who still talks about Nick is Mom. She talks about what a jerk he was, about how brash and arrogant he was, and how he acted the life of the party at that reception for her brother's second wedding. It's been 38 years now since that event; and 36 years since anyone in this family last saw him. And people are still talking about that reception, and about Nick.

How was Nick an Alpha? How was he a prototype RP man?

1) Nick lived his life his way, on his terms.

2) He gave no fucks. He did it his way, and if you didn't like it, oh well. Nick still enjoyed the ride, even if you didn't.

3) He was lord of his domain and master of his house. Nick ran his house the way he wanted. He kept the fridge stocked with refreshments of his choice and had who he wanted there when and where he wanted. He cultivated a home and lifestyle that suited him, that fit him well like a good pair of shoes. Nick didn't mind having his tenant's kids around, and it was OK the few times my sisters and I ran around his yard. But if we got out of line, he just looked in our direction or came over and set us straight.

4) Nick had a prestigious occupation and was good at it. I just knew he was a banking executive, but clearly he was successful professionally and that he earned a living that was very comfortable, almost extravagant. From the people he knew and the contacts he cultivated, it was clear he had achieved some professional and societal notoriety and local fame and fortune. In short, the man knew how to network, knew how to utilize that network to his advantage, and earned good money doing it.

5) Nick took care of his body. Nick liked to have a good time, sure, but it was pretty clear he was in better shape than most of the other paunchy late 70s dads around him. I don't know what he did to work out or keep the weight off, and I don't know if he lifted, but I presume it was pretty much what everyone else here advises: Clean eating, getting plenty of sleep, and getting lots of exercise. Even at that wedding reception where Nick was having a great time, he wasn't falling down drunk. Given it was the late 70s I'll bet he was heavily into jogging/running.

EDIT: 6) Boldness and confidence trump "nice", timidity and hesitation. Nick was confident and forward in his speech and mannerisms. In doing so he set down his own boundaries without violating others'. He also was able to lead social interactions and create opportunities for himself and others. He enjoyed his life, he made no apologies for it, and invited others to enjoy their lives too without apology.

Nick was a prototype RPer, who refused to let the full force of late 70s second wavers get him down. Be like Nick.