TL;DR
A guy at my college had a girlfriend who threatened to break up with him if he took a high paying job at Google, out in California. He decided to work at a small company in the Midwest instead, only for her to break up with him a few months later.
BODY
My college is home to one of the top Computer Science programs in the world (I'm currently in finance but took plenty of CS courses, transferring into the department next semester), and it is common for graduates from the program to get very lucrative job offers, both from the biggest names in the industry, as well as successful startups. One senior at our university, and a brilliant student, was dating a freshman. This guy received a job offer from Google, which is widely regarded as the greatest major company that you can work for. The salary and benefits associated with the job, as well as the location, are something that plenty of people across the nation would dream of.
Problem is, his girlfriend wouldn't have it. She said that she didn't want to try a long distance relationship, and that if he took the job and moved to California, she would break up with him. For most people on this sub, the decision would be painfully obvious; bring the relationship to a close, take the job at Google, and enjoy a new level of luxury in life.
Sadly, this guy didn't make the obvious choice. He instead turned down a job that many of people would die for, and took one at a smaller company in Chicago instead, all to be closer to her. The story up to this point is plenty for a BP example; someone choosing a girl over a prestigious job with a starting salary averaging 130k. Here's the kicker: a few of months into the start of this semester, she broke up with him, claiming that she's "only 19" and needs to "experience new things". And so the hero of our tale ends up with no job at Google, no aprtment in California, and no girlfriend. The end.
Lessons Learned
What do you want me to say? Its obvious that you should never let a girl have any level of control over your life. If he hadn't given a single inch in the past, I doubt she'd even consider making such a demand. Overall, just an example of the lengths some people will go to for a girl, and why its never worth it.
What fool lets a 19yo woman make long-term decisions for him?
His error was not having a clear mission in his life, and prioritizing everything else in his life accordingly. Men and women under 25 and not financially established shouldn't be thinking of marriage. An opportunity at Google is mission critical to a man his age, a particular 19yo girlfriend is not.
An IT dude with little relationship experience and lots of scarcity mentality who doesn't want to jeopardize the possibly first relationship he ever had and thinks that money is "not that important anyway" and "love conquers all"?
In addition, a tech dude who's just coming off being flat-out broke in college, and doesn't really differentiate between $60k a year in the Midwest and $130k in California.
Those are both just numbers to him, but holding onto the first person who ever let him get some seems irreplaceable to his socially-inept self.
Factoring in cost of living, they probably end up about the same considering how ridiculously expensive California is. (Not that I'm defending the guy in OP's story)
Even if it he had the same purchasing power by working at Google, that would have been a better choice, because Google will open more doors for you than Midwestern Company, unless said company ends up acquired by Google or Facebook.
$60k may actually provide a better standard of living. The bay area is insane.
Of course he screwed up though. If for some reason you don't like Google or the bay area you can get any almost second job you want because Google is on your resume.
Bay area living is insane but with years racked up at google he could command higher pay elsewhere. The big money made in Silicon Valley is made from people who start a company and then that company gets bought out and their stock options were worth several million.
I know dudes who work for these companies and their companies pay them in stock in addition to their wages. However the married ones almost always have wives who insist on forgoing the stock options and taking higher pay NOW because money now is better.
I'd feel your average person would take the higher pay, not knowing the value of other bennies.
This. How many of us had a clear life purpose/ or even a goal when we were 20-22? Some yes, for sure, but IT doesn't see a lot of pussy in the beginning, so he took the only choice available to him.
IT doesn't see a lot of pussy ever. social app companies aren't IT. online media isn't IT.
'real' tech (aka high tech) is almost completely devoid of any attractive females, and only those exist in other departments like sales and HR and they almost universally associate with/fuck the executives, clientele, and/or people in more exciting industries. i would venture to say a bottom-rung shit shoveler in something like advertising is more attractive on paper career-wise than a junior executive (VP or whatever) in an IT company.
if you work in high tech, you need to up your game, don't shit where you eat, and look elsewhere, and most importantly, don't tell bitches what you do when you first meet them.
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At least modify it to sound better. I latched onto the internal role of "design engineer". That one gets engagement and curiousity; " electrical engineer" gets a glazed expression. It's all in the marketing.
when someone asks what you do, say "you first". they'll start talking, and never stop. then just change the subject. they'll forget about it. some girls will realize what you did but won't bring it up again (red pill quiz: why not?)
i don't tell anyone what i do when i first meet them. it's a great way of putting yourself into a box no matter what clever twist you put on it.
or, just lie.
That used to be the case, but I haven't found that to be a big deal ever since The Big Bang Theory became popular. As long as you spin the title to sound cool and say it right (like any profession), mostly they just know you make a lot of money. It's not like the old days where the "computer geek" always turned out to be the serial killer or whatever - now it's just a respectable occupation that makes cool stuff.
Other points completely apply though. The lack of social interaction all day hurts your game.
Bingo. Scarcity mentality all the way. Any normal, socially adjusted man should understand that there are plenty of fuckable women in the Bay Area, especially for a fresh college grad with some cash in his pockets working at Google.
As others have pointed out, SV is a total sausagefest. Also, making 240K at google puts you on the higher end for an engineer, but engineers in SV are the equivalent of laborers. In the midwest, half of that would be baller status. In Palo Alto, nobody gives a fuck. The wealthy in Palo Alto are billionaires. The rich are 100 millionaire VCs. Nobody gives a shit about your $15,000 a month.
The Irony is that a lot of the women who grow up there grew up in incredibly wealthy families and don't care so much about a dude who makes money because they are already independently wealthy. I have personally seen it with my own eyes. I have had chicks in that area know I was broke show interest in me while they overlooked the tech workers who made 10 times as much as I was making. In their world those guys are a dime a dozen and are all super boring and don't have anywhere near as much money as daddy does anyway.
When dad has $150,000,000 in the bank there is no difference between a dude who makes $13,000 per year and $190,000 per year. Both of those values are closer to $0 than they are to anywhere near the neighborhood of daddy.
So fucking take vacations in the midwest or someshit, fuck
Don't mind me, I'm just sick of SV lol
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at the end of the day, even if he doesnt get laid once, making bank at Google, learning how google does shit and having Google on your resume is still easily worth it. Take that cash and experience back to the midwest or wherever else.
It's just as much of a faggot move to turn down a great job because it might be a sausage fest as it is to turn down the job for a single girl back home. Its the exact same thing.
Seems like a lot of people here are assuming that career is particularly important to every given guy, when in many cases it's not.
Obviously this particular girl wasn't a good investment, but it's not universally true for any given guy that a particular job is worth more than an SO.
Normally I'd disagree considering the sausage fest that is silicon valley, but if you work at google it's a different ball game
With 130k a year I can spend 30k on hoes and mad bitches. But that is just me.
Taxes in California plus fed income tax means that you get about half that $130k in hand. So you take your $65k in cash and spend $2500 on some shitty apartment and that leaves you with about $35k over the course of the year for other things. $130k aint' what it used to be, especially in California.
So he is better off taking a job in Ohio. I'm still working on my game so I don't get laid, but hoes are cheap in this part of the world man. It is a good short cut towards abundance.
You just described 75% of all male redditors.
You know, problem is he's not even strictly wrong. A good family is probably more important than a job, and 60k in Midwest is a pretty good starting point.
Problem is he got shit instead.
Maybe, but the first ingredient to a good family is a good spouse. He made a pretty shit choice.
Exactly right. Have you ever read "The Millionaire Next Door" ? It has a chapter on how much of a financial impact there is between good/no/bad spouses
I never have but it seems like something that may interest me.
The problem is that he should have seen it as a warning sign that she was sure she'd break up with him if he moved to California. If she was invested in him and wanted the relationship to keep going she might have been upset, but being confident you'd break up with someone if you move away from a girl is a huge sign she's already not very attached to the relationship.
Let's be fair her for a second - if he got a job offer from google before, I don't think Google has a vindictive list banning who turned them down. If he plays his cards right there's a decent change he could get another job offer there.
jesus christ, i dont understand how men think women are inherently more worthwhile than money. Women are great etc but they don't pay for your food, they don't pay for your rent/mortgage! Money is about survival and freedom; food, place to sleep, utilities, and financial independence IS WAY MORE VALUABLE THAN PUSSY COULD EVER BE.
Personally, I wouldn't mind being homeless if I'm with someone I love who also doesn't mind that financial situation.
Different people are motivated by different things in life. Some people don't care about money.
She made no decisions for him. She didn't make him stay, fuck - she didn't even ask him. All she did was tell him she would leave him had he gone for Google.
She's not at fault here, the guy is just a fucking idiot. Who sacrifices such a career opportunity for a relationship with a fickle 19 yo? Or for any relationship for that matter?
Always look out for number 1, no one else will.
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So much this. Passing the buck onto the woman is just bowing to the victim culture of our society. He made a dumb decision, will hopefully learn, and then improve himself in the future.
Yeah I empathize, but it was a shit move and he's a dumbass for making it.
Try putting yourself in his shoes and perhaps you would realise how strong the scarcity mentality is of a guy. He put her pussy on the well known pedestal. Most of us did one time in our life.
Still, it was his decision in the end. What he should have done is agreed with her, they couldn't date after he moved away as there's no reason for either one of them to keep the other on the hook. Chances are, he could have kept fucking her until he left for the job.
It doesn't matter if he's up his own ass. Just because it seemed like a good decision to him doesn't make it a good decision. You're hamstering for this guy.
lol you make it sound like TRP is hamstering she made the decision for him but I agree with you. I also agree with her lol, she should break up with him for making poor business decisions.
People here do tend to shift the blame on women for stuff like this. Overall, social expectations is that men approach women, men ask women out, and men ask women to marry. Therefore, it is the man's decision and his own fault. If a man willing approaches single moms, fatties, or prostitutes and asks them out, it is his own choice. There's no trap set up there where the guy falls in and then he's suddenly stuck dating a woman against his will.
In this case, it is a man dating a teenager. The teenage girl cannot even legally drink yet and she is only one year over the age where she can legally sign a contract. She's basically one year older than a child. She never had to support herself yet and she probably doesn't really understand the concept of money or career. If anything goes wrong, it is on the man.
How often does TRP repeat that a woman with a high partner count is not good for a relationship?
If you think that you have a girl with a low partner count who's into the relationship, it's valuable.
Men yes. But a wise woman should thinking of marriage as soon as possible, when she is at her best.
So much fucking this.
Story time - I used to date this girl for awhile. Once, told her I was thinking about buying a certain car ( 1988 Mitsubishi Starion, only had 32k miles on it ). Met the seller, put a deposit ( I was a contractor so I was in the area ) after test driving it.
Went home to my apartment and jesus christ she's there, to fucking tell me that " No, I wasn't going to buy the car." Her fucking face was priceless when I told her " too bad, I already put a deposit on the car." and left to go pick it up.
Ultimately, it boiled down to some shit about how I didn't even consider her opinion on the matter. Of course I didn't, we're not married, and it's my money.
that was a bullet dodged.
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly chicks think your money is theirs too. Even if you're just dating.
To be fair, she never did consider my money hers, but for fucks sake, if you want me to ask for your opinion on these things, fucking say so from the beginning, don't have a goddamn melt down - and while I'll be nice and listen to your opinion, mine will still hold more weight to myself since I don't have a ring on it.
Same thing happened when I was debating on buying a house. We had been dating for almost 2 years and she had this whole " I'll feel like a stranger in it because it won't be our house " since only my name would be on it ( well fucking duh ). Hesistated, house sold, I got pissed and put that down payment into stocks, and came out so much fucking ahead as a result amusingly enough.
It made me realize how important it is to me that if I want to take a woman seriously for LTR status, they better fucking know money management and think logically. Those women give me such a raging hard on.
Ah gotcha about the money for the car. Thanks for the correction.
I've experienced that house bullshit too. Years ago, I stupidly let my LTR move in with me in a place that I own. In conversation, she would always act sad and correct me whenever I referred to it as "my" place instead of "our" place. There was always this nagging in the back of my mind when she said this, like "wtf, no, you don't deserve any of it". I was still pretty BP then so I just played along with it. At the time. Of course I wouldn't put up with that today nor let an LTR move in with me.
As a side note, I always had these (what I thought were) "nagging" thoughts in the back of my mind on things like this and marriage (never made sense to me). After TRP, I realize these thoughts were actually the truth covered up by brainwashing. TRP has helped so many things come to light for me. As if all my interactions with women in the past suddenly make perfect sense.
I do feel that TRP can be subject to one's interpretation. Some people have the mindset that no matter what, every single woman is exactly the same, when the reality is far different. Sure there are women who fall into the AWALT, but while rarer to find, there's are TRP appropriate women out there.
If anything, it's a good way to shed beta traits and learn and implement alpha traits. Be wary of becoming a false alpha. How often do you see a rich, successful man drowning in pussy being an asshole, as opposed to a rich, successful man who's not? I'm not talking about what you might see in the media, but what you've seen in real life? I personally know more of the latter than the prior.
Mind you, there's a fun study about alpha males. Younger males ( teens and younger 20s ) will be classical like - say, a lion in the sense of an alpha male - pick fights, woo the women beta's pine for, and hunt "new" women. Then you have the older alpha males, who evolve the traits of strength, intimidation and dominance beyond the physical realm.
I've come to find out that while being in better shape will behoove me by miles, playing the passive aggressive game and intellectual stimulation is far more successful in this game. Most attractive women know they can use their sexuality and can get laid at any point if they pick a guy. Give them an intellectual challenge and watch them bite their lip at the challenge.
Oh, and baking. Somehow, baking over at a woman's place, every time, has resulted in making out, and at the very least having them topless, if not more.
I know my experiences and views don't reflect everyone elses, but this is mine for about the past year, having come out of a 2.5 year relationship with a virgin. Call me a phoenix rising :)
What did she have to say about that? Hopefully she talked by STFU.
A fool who's been brainwashed by the media and Hollywood to believe that sacrificing for your woman is paramount to relationship happiness. A fool who thinks that women are some scarce resource, despite making up 50% of the world's population. A fool who's watched rom-coms all his life.
In other words, the average American male.
I wish we could refrain from calling a 19 yo a "woman" on here.
Technicalities aside, this
girl, or teenager to be precise, is as far from a fully-developed woman. 2 years ago, while everyone else was busy living in the real world, she was watching Twlight and wondering whether she preferred Edward or Jacob, now she's a 'woman'? The only thing she has in common with her older peers is the innate ability to manipulate weak men.The word does not presuppose maturity, education, intelligence, worldliness etc; these develop at different times and sometimes not at all.
There are different criteria for using girl versus woman; personally, I'd consider it immature of me to refer to those older than about 11 as girls.
Are you saying you'd refer to a 12 year old as a woman?
Conditionally yes, and probably as "young woman." It matters when helping to raise nieces and stepdaughters.
What I'm really saying is, I wouldn't refer to a 19yo as a girl.
Yeah, ageism isn't alpha, just makes you look like a retard.
It could be argued (see, for example, the sidebar article Women, the most responsible teenager in the house) that, no, a 19 year old is pretty much a fully-developed woman. A woman is a girl, in fact, and that's the whole point. Drawing a distinction is meaningless, then, and you can pick whatever word you like.
Sure, she'll get better at manipulation as she gets older, her looks will peak and then deteriorate and she'll become more bitter and cynical but her modus operandi won't change from puberty until the day she dies.
Seriously, what laudable qualities does a 26 or even 50 year old woman have that the 19 year old doesn't?
She's not a man. She doesn't have to create herself through adversity, remember. She doesn't have to fight and overcome challenges to build her life up to a peak. She starts at a peak being at her most attractive, and all she can do for the rest of her life is work really hard to slow that decline as much as possible.
Brilliant reply. I honestly have no counter to anything you mentioned; pure, unabashed RP truth. Answers I can learn from that condense RP gospel like that are why I keep coming back here.
Thanks; I appreciate you taking the time to say that. We all of us have a lot to learn and sometimes it can very most useful to see how someone else thinks about an issue to put it into perspective.
You're right; that's one of the most important things this place offers.
Good for him he got off cheap
Hopefully this will sink in and lead to him not getting screwed later in life. Men often learn best when the lesson is taught the hard way. I'd rather screw myself out of a bigger paycheck at a good company than my home and children.
Never compromise your career advancement or your physical development for a woman. Women are dream-killers.
As you progress in your career, women will tell you to stop working so hard and to spend time with them instead. As you progress at the gym, women will tell you to stop working out so much because you have enough muscles, and to spend time with them. Don't listen to them. Remember, you'll lose money chasing women, but you'll never lose women chasing money.
As an aside: the great thing about working at Google is that you'll not only get a great starting salary and benefits, but you'll also have peers that are at the top of their game. Once you've gained experience and made contacts, you should jump over to a promising startup where you'll have some potential for upside. Either that, or become valuable enough that Facebook or Uber starts to woo you with larger salary and stock packages.
i knew a guy in college who turned down medical school for the same reasons as OP said, his gf of ~1.5 yrs said she wouldnt be ok with an LDR and they would have to break up.
he agreed so transferred to the nursing program with her, they both graduated later and became nurses. she left him for a doctor she was working with
lmao
This one is then worst example in this thread. I want to feel bad, but where I'm from the difference between getting into nursing and getting into medical are night and day. She must have given the sweetest blow jobs or something. Damn.
I'm in Med School GF wanted to spend more time with me, that would jeopardise my carreer.
No more GF. Oh it was sad, but it was the best.
How in the world do Americans pick this kind of decisition, I mean, at that time I was still pretty blue pill and I went for the obvious correct choice.
Imagine all your boy years you were in doctrines that boisterous behaviour was bad and you were punished for not behaving like girls. Than you watch Disney and other shows with show the woman and her "beauty" as the main prize in life. It's deemed "romantic" to wait, hand over fist, for woman.
So when these kids get into their first relationships, and get the taste of sex for the first time, they will do everything they think they know in order to keep her satisfied and happy. They think "happily ever after" do not correlate with their success or achievements in life. The prince doesnt need to achieve, he has everything Cinderella already wants.
This is how we are taught to see the world. And it's fucked us up.
because our society is increasingly feminized, and women are ever pedastalized
pretty painful
plan for the long run
Oh, she did, she did...
haha oh man, that's some red pill porn to get your morning going!
Man, stories like these will might save my life one day. I am not that very young (23), but still several possibilities to ruin my life for a chick.
this is the kind of crap that drive people to commit homicide!
This is true for every positive factor in your life. She'll slowly but gradually alienate you from your friends, distance you from your family, eliminate your hobbies, coerce you into selling your favorite things, get you to eat poorly, and essentially reduce you to a couch-sitting, defeated slave waiting for her orders.
The kicker: once she's reduced you to that, she'll detest what you've become and dump you for the next "ambitious" guy she can lure in, and restart the process.
its just fucking amazing isn't it hahhahaha
As someone looking to break into the tech industry, I would kick someone whom I'd only known for a year or two to the curb for a job at Google. It's not just the pay and benefits, it's the entire 'brand', image and authority that you attach yourself to. You can literally open your mouth and everyone will believe what you say.
lol really. Google will literally interview you if you breath. Google is a shit place to start a career if you want to learn to actually code.
No truer statement. When they get all gold diggy for a bump in pay or status they will blame you for not getting promoted because you didn't focus on your career enough.
LMAO, why can girls never, ever just be honest about what they actually mean? They hamster not only to those around them, but also to themselves. Actually, I think the internalized hamster is even stronger than the externalized one.
Hamsterese: "Experience new things"
English: "Sorry honey, I'm not wholly convinced that your cock is the best one I can experience yet, so I need to ride a few more of them before I'm convinced of that. Keep my number, because I'll be calling you or Facebooking you in about 10 years from now when I'm broke, living with my parents, and saddled with a pile of debt and 2 kids from 2 different broke, loser Chads who can't pay child support. Hopefully you will have that super-good Google job by then so I can latch onto your financial success and have you cuck my bastard kids. Kthnxbai!!!"
I can't even begin to get angry at the girl on this one. That dude is a straight up fucking idiot.
Yup, that's why this is a blue pill example and not about ragging on the girl. We need to focus on our own behavior and strategies. Understanding other people's is important, but blaming them for being self interested is stupid.
"Experience new things" is one of the standard euphemisms for "I need more Chad cock".
I suppose the guy could just reapply to Google, try again. Hope he gets there.
Yeah, he shouldn't have a hard time having gotten the offer once before. And if they ask why he didn't take it the time before he should probably say something vague about his family needing him at that time, make it sound very personal, and no one will question it further.
I would absolutely question it further. And if he said he didnt take it for some 19 yr old chick..... No job for him.
I want people.commited to the job, not some cunt who can make him quit and leave me.high and dry at a snap of the fingers. A decision like this is a potential career killer as far as I am concerned as it shows he lacks the maturity to make a real decision like an adult.
If somebody turns down my offer the first time, there better be a body lying in the hospital or morgue (with all the paperwork to back it up). Otherwise it will take a hell of a lot to impress me enough to ask again.
I think there actually might be laws against asking certain things. And besides, if he got a bit smarter over the course of the year he should say anything but that he decided to stay for a 19 year old girl.
If he said he was resolving family issues before he could leave the midwest they would likely not inquire any further.
I think there actually might be laws against asking certain things. And besides, if he got a bit smarter over the course of the year he should say anything but that he decided to stay for a 19 year old girl.
It comes down to plausible deniability. They need to convince themselves and their friends that they are not a bad person.
She's not at fault here what so ever. Do you yell at your dog for shitting on the carpet when you forget to take it outside? No you realize you acted fucking retarded and the situation handled itself in textbook fashion. There's no reason to yell at the dog because it followed it's completely predictable nature. All that's left is to clean up the shit situation you created.
the conclusion is right but the analysis is off. You can understand women's nature but that doesn't mean you give them a pussy pass.
They have agency. They are human. They can overcome instinct. I overcome my instinct to lay around and do nothing daily. I overcome my instinct to tell clients they're shit pile assholes and put on a customer service face daily. They can too.
But she didn't lead this dude on here, she just said she'd break up instead of do an LDR which is basically just having healthy boundaries. LDR is a waste of time. So it's 100% on the dude here.
You aren't overcoming instincts. You're avoiding the negative consequences. You are rewarded for good behavior. This combination is the reason you do what you do. That girl weighed her pros/cons and acted on them. That's all you can expect from her. The world owes you nothing. That's not instinct it's commerce.
the bottom line is women have agency, period. Don't set your expectations like women are going to give 2 shits about you or anyone but themselves, but acting like they have no responsibility for the things they do is absurd. Everyone's actions have consequences. Women are just more prone to close their eyes to them and act like they dont.
Women are sentient being with an intelligence similar to the intelligence of men, they are accountable for their actions.
You can compare them to teenagers maybe but not to dogs, at least not when it comes to responsability.
You can trust an adult make of female to do what ever they like after in weighing the pros/cons and cost/benefit. That's all you get. Better hope you're worth more alive than dead.
This is bullshit. She is culpable for manipulating him. As a man, of course he still has to take responsibility for his stupidity and the situation it has landed him in. That does not obsolve her of being a cunt.
She's acting according to her biological programming. I know this is a tough truth to swallow but this is how all women are. The sooner you accept this the better. Men and women are not equal.
Every biological being is acting according to his biological programming.
Its actually 100% the guys fault id say too. Everything he did caused this
What's with the name calling? I don't think she is a cunt at all. She didn't even tell him not to take the job, just that she would break up with him if he did. It was his decision. He is 100% to blame.
Yet he didn't take the job and in short time she still broke up with him. Was it a stupid decision on his part? Yes. Given TRP should we have expected her to act any differently? Of course not. Does it make her a cunt? Yes, in my books that makes her a cunt. If she doesn't want the cunt label, then skip the bullshit and get to the end game. Break up with him off the get-go instead of fucking with the guys head and life.
Societal shaming for this shit behaviour is all that keeps these bitches in check. We expect the behaviour, but we don't let it go without consequence; shrugging our shoulders and saying "well whatdafuk ya gonna do".
Just had a wonderful conversation with a girl I know where she explained it wasn't wrong that she hooked up with a taken guy because he told her, "he was going to break up soon, anyway". I asked her why she's hooking up with this guy anyway and she says, "he's sweet". Fucking L O L
In this case, it might not even be about deniability. It is a false ultimatum. The guy was suppose to break up with her because it wasn't really a choice. Who the fuck abandons their career? It might have caught her by surprise that he did.
She is in her prime at an elite college, so she can find another high quality guy. He was suppose to be making tons of money and getting high prestige at an elite job. Clearly, this is an unstable situation because are they really going to go for 3 years with minimal to no sex due to a long distance relationship when they are both in great positioning in the sexual marketplace? She can easily get other guys. He "should" be able to get other women (at least from her point of view, before he revealed himself to be a super beta).
If I were giving advice to the girl, I wouldn't tell her to commit to a guy who is 1000 miles away making big money at a prestigious job. If he is not getting sex from her, he's probably going to look for it elsewhere. Meanwhile, she is surrounded by other great men because she is at a top college. It is unstable from both sides and she is the one that has more to lose if the long distance relationship goes wrong. If it falls apart in the next three years, she wasted prime years in a prime environment (for women, nothing beats being young and being at a highly ranked college that naturally filters out low quality men) while he would still have a fat bank account and resume from Google.
She gave him an exit strategy that would allow both sides to save face with minimal disruption to overlapping social networks. Mutual friends don't have to choose sides if they break up due to the guy choosing to pursue an extraordinary career opportunity a thousand miles away. Society would view him negatively if he has been having sex with a teenage girl and then he "selfishly" leaves, so she gave him an out. But the guy seems to be socially retarded and he fucks it all up.
To be fair, I could imagine saying myself the same (a similar) thing, if I was a 19 years old guy with a gf who wants commitment ...
Eh, as a person with a religious background, that was the dream. I wanted that one person to call mine and spend my life with. Even at 19.
I eventually lost my religion and reality cock-slapped me in the face. Women didn't work in the way I thought and I just straight up didn't know the rules of engagement.
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What I'm saying is that I became atheist independent of women, and the bluepill conditioning my religion (Fundamentalist Christianity) instilled in me led to me desiring monogamy. I wanted that lifelong partnership with a person I could trust in due to that childhood conditioning. Women do not work that way, unfortunately.
Yeah, one of benefits of TRP is that it's the Rosetta Stone of Hamsterese. It really helps you to see through the bullshit words of women and get to what they really mean.
I'm expecting this in my life, I choose the high paying job over the girl. In about 10 years she'll come back to me, overweight and used up with 3 kids by 3 men looking for the handout.
Nah b.
she is honest. Women communicate with the subtext. For her, that was as blunt as it gets. Been that way since we were dragging knuckles. They don't know any of that translation, all they know is that a uterus is a free pass, and they'll make it up as they go along
Guys just need to learn to understand the language better.
But the Chads aren't the losers, evolutionarily speaking. They are the ones who reproduced. They won.
He wot get shit now hes turned down the google job. Lol
If Google wants you, you must be pretty good. They'll probably still be open to hiring him.
Yeah true. he could just go work at....um...whos the conpeditor to google these days?
What? That makes no sense. If he is good enough to get a job offer from Google, there will be plenty of opportunities.
Well, donno, maybe, could be, SLUT SHAMING? Come on man!
Happened to my brother.
Rejected an offer to go to Germany for 4x his current pay(poor Asian country), so that he can stay with his girl, got dumped.
Broken hearted, 2months later he married a girl after just knowing her for a month.
Needless to say, she has no problems with using up all my brother's money while he's offshore on an oil rig.
Oh god... please tell me as a brother you tried to warn him how foolish of an idea this was ...
The whole family did. My mother and sisters was pretty much spewing redpill advice to my brother, and even now uses him as an example of why its important to actually spend time to check if the girl is compatible.
He's a real "nice guy" , got cheated thousands of money by different people, and still won't distrust others, well, except his family that is.
This is why I don't hate woman at all, or the things they do, wouldn't you do the same if you could? A man is only a chump if he lets others treat him like that. And different from what people say here, women warn man against other woman, but the beta male hamster ignores that, he goes full force forward, and worse, he will not even remember the warnings when his life will crash down.
Yup. Women and men are both selfish and opportunistic, and are both doing what is best for them and their future offspring. Men just have different tactics and strategies compared to women.
oh.. look on the bright side. At least YOU won't be like him!
Lol it doesn't surprise me that he is from Chicago, ground zero for blue pill betadom and scarcity mentality since the women are so obese. Could have been catching some rays and hitting up tan-slim Californian wimminz. Plus all the social proof from working at the most famous company in the country right now. God suckers are born every minute.
God damn him, he could have used his work as social proof.
HBx:" what do you do ?" Beta:" I work at Google." HBx:" Can I suck your dick ?"
I can't believe I found someone else who shares this view. Grew up in the south, lived in Chicago the past two years and am consistently AMAZED at the type of guys the girls here pull and vice versa. This will sound odd to hear, but the average SMV of a man in Chicago is so much higher than the women here, it's strange.
Nearly every guy is in shape with an above average job? , most wine aren't. If you are a girl who's a 5 you can get a 7. If you're a girl who's a 7 you can get 9s and 10s. It's just bizarre
I probably noticed this more coming from the south where it's the opposite. Guys are usually out of shape while the girls are much hotter, leading to a reverse of the above effect
Yep. you are from the south. Women are ridiculously hot over there. Tampa bay, Louisiana... uff I can only wish. I am from california central coast. Tough I lived in San Diego and Bitxs in SD were all fake and cunts.. and those in the south were more down to earth and less fake tits and more natural beauty
Even better is in the south while women are attractive... Men aren't. It's focused more on conservative values and thus a males ability to provide so women go for status. They go for status in Chicago as well, but looks matter much more
I know dozens of chubby "dad bod" guys with girlfriends that are more stunning than anyone you meet in Chicago. And yea I imagine west coasters are a different breed
I grew up in Chicago. I lived in New York for 3 years and banged an above 7 every month. When I moved back to Chicago last year my sex life dropped to the bottom of lake michigan. A woman who isnt fat has carte blanche to carry herself like she is a 10 and treat all men like shit regardless of actual SMV.
Oh boy I've noticed it. From Nashville with time spent in other southern states. Women have different values, and intellectually I prefer northerners/Midwesterners but damn is the ratio of attractiveness completely skewed in Chicago. A 6 or 7 anywhere else can lock down guys who are 9s no problem here
Me a year ago would have thought she was a bitch. Me today sees him as a dumbass.
With that salary and job title, he could be swimming in 19 year olds.
*It just occurred to me that this is the type of self-sacrificing gesture that women claim they appreciate, or at least romantic comedies do. The guy turns down a huge job offer to be with her and it's just the perfect goddamn example of bluepill thinking.
Work on yourself. Make yourself amazing. Give her something to love, because she doesn't love you for who you are, but rather what you are.
I would like to share my experience doing some independent contractor work at a giant keyboard tapping farm near me. My business is not tech related but more practical in nature.
All the kids that go to the college in my city want to work for this place. They recruit hard from the university. I never quite understood the allure. They offer a decent starting salary (not quite 6 figures but still pretty good) yet they demand like 80 hours a week, so really you only end up making about $20 an hour.
Anyway when I first started doing some work at this place (its huge, like a small city) I noticed of course the army of tech betas, but also this smaller army of hoes. Like blatant CC jockeys.
For every 10 tech betas there are maybe 3 or 4 20 something girls in the HB 6-8 range. These girls are the ones you see when you walk into the bar and you think, "yeah, that one is looking for some strange dick tonight, maybe I can give it to her." Like every single one of them had that look. You know the one I mean. I couldn't figure out what their function was. I asked some of them and their titles were like, "meeting facilitator" or "expediter" or "inter building coordinator" or "orientation specialist". Basically they just kind of walked around, filled water coolers, flagged down pizza guys and showed them where to go, brought mail to the tech betas, etc
However basically what they did most of the time was talk to and lightly flirt with the tech betas.
Then it dawned on me.
These girls exist and are employed with the express purpose of gathering orbiters and maybe fucking one of the tech betas on occasion.
See this tech giant pays these tech betas quite a bit, almost 6 figures starting, but they demand like 80 hours a week. They use these TBs up like flashlight batteries and throw them out.
This company somewhere along the line realized that in order to get these TBs to surrender basically their entire waking life, they had to provide for all of their needs on the campus of the company, including CC riding hoes to orbit.
Once I realized who these hoes were and what their purpose was I was genuinely impressed with the tactic. It would be golden if I could read the memo or hear the recording of the meeting where they decided they needed CC jockeys to keep the betas in line, just so I could see how they worded it.
So in conclusion the thirst of the tech beta is very, very real. It is being exploited by tech giants to keep their TBs toiling endlessly. If you are a TB or looking to start a tech firm, this lesson can be of use to you.
Really cool story, actually. However, it seems rather questionable....
If I told you the company it would give away my location.
You don't need to know the particular company though, just look around at these places.
Any unskilled position that can be filled by an attractive young female is 9 times out of 10.
Thats the reason why, to give these guys a (false) glimmer of hope every day they throw away in the code mines.
He wouldn't have had a house in California anyway.
His $130k will first be taxed, so that becomes "maybe" $100k.
Then his apartment (Mountain View) will likely run $4k per month, so now you are down to $50k
You need food and transportation and other basics, so now he's at $25k.
I worked in the dot.coms and knew programmers that got into "the lifestyle" and they ended up broke afterwards.
Your friend might actually make decent money in Chicago and the costs are lower. It really depends on what type of life you want.
Recently there was a story about Google progrmmers getting Vitamin D Deficiencies because they spend all day indoors.
How ironic... sunny California, but never seeing the sun.
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This is incredibly inaccurate. I work and live in Bay Area. I pay 1100 a month rent and bills. Google provides transportation shuttles AND breakfast lunch and dinner. So 90k(post tax) - 15k (living expenses rounded up). = 75k take home. That is enough to live on and pay a mortgage on a 1 mil house which you could rent out and make up the mortgage. Sure if you are a dumb fucking idiot and don't know how to search for housing and maximize your wealth then you are fucked here. If that's the case please stay away and continue this circle jerk about how bad the Bay Area is. Cry me a river been here for 7 years and I have friends that are baristas and can make it fucking work so you can too with a 130k salary.
Also I know friends who work at Google who go surfin every week and don't work more than 10 hours a day at most. Sure if you are a fag that slaves for their boss thinking it will get them somewhere then you will work yourself into a vampire. But a majority of people know how to manage heir time and prioritize.
What neighborhood are you in? Sounds like you're either renting just a room or in a 400 sqft studio.
Do it like that one guy who lived in a truck on the Google parking lot and paid off his student debt in 2-3 years. Google provides you with everything but a bed.
Ayy gurlll. Yu look gud. Wanna make sex in my truck?
If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box he wouldn't buy a house.
You're either in the ghetto, living with 8 other dudes, or very very very lucky.
Housing is a joke in the bay area. Your situation is not typical.
Thank you for someone actually stating the truth. I lived in the bay area with roommates for 2 months working for 900 a week. I was working at Stanford and I was perfectly fine renting out a car and paying rent. It was split between 2 people of course but i could have easily taken public transportation and saved hundreds monthly.
To all people: Take your chance at living in the bay area. It's amazing. So worth it and opportunities are endless. I got offered a full time job by meeting someone at the bar a couple times! I'm moving back to the west coast as soon as i graduate.
bay area is 0/10 unless you're an established professional with high income.
I'm sorry, but i completely disagree but everyone's entitled to their own opinion . I see it as an opportunity to become an established professional. Others might see it as reward for becoming someone with an established high income.
edit: I just noticed your reddit name, i like it haha
very important clarification: only if you are in stem
Not completely. If you are good at design or sales, you can do very well here. Graphic designers, UI/UX etc are very valued and well compensated if they are good - and they can also juggle freelance projects for the extra cash. Sales - many, many startups are looking for people who can develop and execute sales pipelines.
10 hours a day at most ... That's 2h more than they should, but hey ...
Sometimes when you are passionate about what you do you are willing to work more to achieve your goals.
You know what, I've done it. Worked even more than that, and I was a partner in the business. Unless it's for limited periods of time, in my opinion it's counter-productive.
Why? Because in some distant era a bunch of unions serving those plying physical trades said so? I don't put much stock in the demands of 19th century steelworkers, particularly for people working in air conditioned offices, sitting at a desk.
No, simply because it's counter-productive.
one third work, one third leisure, one third sleep.
It was actually those poor bastards dying in the factories that said so. TBH, it should be much less, with how productive we are nowadays. After 6, it's mostly just filler time anyways, man was designed to work in hard, short spurts
Ohhhaha...um...
Why do you think this is a good idea exactly?
who said it was a good idea? I just said its possible.
When did you start renting? Most landlords in this area don't jack up rent over time, but if you went hunting for a new place right now, you might be surprised to find what's happened to prices.
$1100 is incredible for that area. But I know people who rent people's granny flats for $1600 per month in the Bay Area. There are cheaper options out there. Don't go for luxury high rise living, don't go for a house. Stay out of Los Gatos and Menlo Park.
The tech dudes I know bust ass but its a bit different than down here in Southern California. Like I know people here who will commute 1 hour each way so their 8 hour day becomes a 10-11 hour day. While Google employees may work 10 hours a day their commute is often less than 15 minutes.
A lot of people get overwhelmed by the money they make and live a life style of someone making $250,000 and end up fucking themselves. If you move to SV you should be on monk mode for a good 3 years living frugally and saving as much as possible.
I work for a reasonably large company, and our upper-level execs took a field trip out to silicon valley and spent a few days with their counterparts at google. Was at an exec Q&A session, and some guy asks the VP of HR (male, I might add) why we don't emulate stuff google does like free food scattered everywhere, etc.
The response: Google has it because their employees routinely work 60-100 hour weeks, we don't consider that to be either healthy or productive for our employees.
Also, when you compare cost of living in the bay area to any worthwhile metro area in the midwest, it's about double in the bay area. So that 130k is effectively 65k, except housing is still unattainable
They horseshitted you around the real answer. Plenty of startups without the perks of google are working their employees very hard. Google does that because turnover at a company like google where they have put significant agony over recruiting and developing the best is vastly more expensive. Employees are working 100 hours at Goldman Sachs, but turnover is cheaper - you assume people will burn out and you groom the new crop to replace them.
Your company also doesn't emulate stuff google does because they do not have to in order to keep you from getting sniped. Googlers are constantly tempted to join hot startups and other companies with progressively improving perks. Most ex-googlers I know left because they were given exit options they just couldn't refuse, not because of 100 hr workweek burnout. Your company does not feel the need to match google, because they know that you guys don't have the level of options.
Can you elaborate on the kind of exit options that people get? Its hard to find this information online.
Also most google employees only work 8 hour days outside of crunch time.
There's two WTFs right there. Even at Google, continuously working 100h cannot fail to have very strongly diminishing returns.
Second, if most of your employees are of high value, providing free services like on-site babysitting and basic medical services is worth it even if they work the regular 40h week. It costs less to the company overall than if they had to pay employees more to cover it themselves. Plus it sends the right kind of unimpeachable feminist AND traditionalist message ("we're family oriented and support strong beautiful wymyn who don't need no bicycle").
Your food/transport/etc numbers are completely fucked. I live in a higher COL area and pay nowhere near that, even including student loans and car payment.
I 'get' the point you're trying to make - but The only thing that is substantially higher is housing. Car insurance, Electricity, cable, chicken, gym membership, clothing - its all mostly the same whether in Chicago or San Fran.
Making 30k or whatever less doesnt insulate you from the temptations of going out 3-5x/week and blowing through your check in shitty dive bars and buying $1900 video cards with 84gb of DDR13 RAM. If someone is an idiot with money they'll find a way to waste it no matter where they live.
Yeah, that's completely off. You do not have to live in Palo Alto / mountainview to work at google, nor do you have to pay 4k for an apartment even if you did want to.
My starting salary was 110k and my company was not in the same league as google, but it's basically mandatory for high tier startups and companies to offer food, transit, gym subsidies, and so on. If you're at google, you've got all your meals covered, breakfast lunch and dinner. Shuttles, caltrain subsidy, x amount in uber credits, etc, you should honestly not be paying commuter costs. Rent is rough but not 4k - if you want a modest studio in Sunnyvale (15 min away) its 1800 or so.
As a young software engineer, you should be banking 60+% of your take-home. (Most millennials aren't banking 10%). If programmers are going broke when they are at A or even B tier companies, it's because they are completely retarded with their financial choices. Which does happen - kids eating ramen through college don't know what to do with their signing bonus and salary.
Even if you get a meh programming job out of college in the Bay Area - 90k and minimal perks, let's say - you can still bank 30-40k of that.
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Maybe it was more insane during the dot.coms. Back then everyone expected to become millionaires really soon, so people spent all they had. It was like the Gold Rush where the miners ended up mostly penniless because they spent it all.
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I have seen this up in SV. Dudes who make $130,000 per year but figure they will have a good thing coming and within 5 years will be making $250,000. So to them the future is as good as money in the bank.
If you are from he midwest and you are working at google you need to have the mentality that you can be cut at any minute and that you will not be hired again and what ever money you have in your bank when you move back to the midwest is your take home. So if our buddy who has the google job for $130,000 and after taxes, living, and everything else in Silicon Valley has $3000 in his bank. He made $3000 that year. Because if he gets the axe he may have to go back home.
People want to live large in Silicon Valley. They want to have nice cars, they want to show off. They want to eat $120 dinners. They want to buy $500 shoes. They want $3400 per month luxury apartments. But at the end of the year their entire salary went to paying living there. They go home with nothing.
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But money seduces the young naive programmer. He will want to impress a mythical girlfriend because he works hard to be the beta bucks. So he "could" find a cheap apartment, but it's also possible he spends more because he earns more. People tend to consume at whatever level they acquire income.
I didn't... I was a cheap penny pincher and walked away with the majority I made, but most guys (and girls) weren't like me.
At the end before the dot.com bust I was even warning people I worked with to save a little because it was doomed to end, but most didn't listen.
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Yeah, I agree in that I liked being in the center of the action.
It's better to have "been there" in the middle at least for awhile.
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^ This is right on, financially speaking at least. I've hesitated on moving out west myself to take up a tech job, cuz the costs of living around Silicon Valley are incredibly inflated.
I'm better off making $50K less and working in the Southeast US, than this guy working for Google somewhere out west, where the costs of living are way higher. I can at least save more of that income, versus "wasting" it paying super high rents and costs of living.
That said, however, if I was in this guy's shoes, straight outta college, I would have gone to Google. Being young and fresh outta college, if he'd rough it out maybe renting a small room, and living as frugal as possible, and do a 1-year or even 2-year stint at Google, it would be a serious career boost. Google basically feeds you and does your laundry, and provides a lot of perks that help out your pocket as long as you work there. That being said, said perks are meant to make you work more. And if you get sucked into that and your work-life balance gets messed up then yeah Vit D deficiencies are just the start of your troubles.
ps: I'm a programmer, and I've had Vit D deficiency, so it's not just Google programmers. lol I'm actually pretty fit, but I would jog/go to the gym only at night. I try to workout in the mornings now too. But I imagine it's prob very common today among any 9-5 office workers though... 8+ hours/day under florescent light and not being able to enjoy the daylight will eventually make you have a deficiency.
Might be better to buy a used trailer and live in it on the outskirts of town in the desert, no?
this is dumb... no disrespect.
Just Having in your resume that you interviewed at google is gold let alone working there for while... the connections with other sucessful engineers and programmers I'd work there for minimum wage
this may be a net win. looses the loser and has some disposable income.
No, he would rather be working for Google in California.
He would have lived in California, likely in an apartment. I used house interchangeably with home, which I guess caused confusion, I'll edit that.
Didn't study for my learners permit once because my ex wanted to text all night. I failed obviously, and true to nature, a month later she left me for a guy with a car. Life is such a beautiful thing.
He probably made the wrong choice job-wise since having Google on your resume would be amazing, but the money is probably not as rosy as you would imagine.
6 figures in San Francisco doesn't necessarily go that far. There is a famous story of a guy living in his van in the parking lot to save money.
California has one of the highest tax rates in the US. Rent in San Fran is the highest in the US.
As a comparison, a job in Denver making $75K would in theory be netting you the same money.
Not to mention people working at Google are often selling their souls to the company.
Who knows if he made the right decision (we don't know his other options), but it sure is stupid that he let a 19 year old girl do it for him.
The money working there doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things. Working for Google (one of undoubtedly the 5 most prestigious tech companies on Earth) straight out of college is the sort of thing that can literally carry you anywhere. It signals you are a wunderkind to any future employers, and is an insane boost to your prestige and marketability.
Working for Google looks good on your resume and you're working with the smartest people in tech, but the downside is that you're likely to be overqualified for the work you do. If you stay too long, you could get stuck in a comfortable cocoon. As an external vendor, Google used to be my best paying client, but I learned more from working for Oracle and Microsoft.
oh man good thing he doesnt work at mcdonalds imagine how far that would go imagine the reddit stories and comments
Serves him right for being such a pussy.
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Great write-up. My biggest fear is letting myself make a drastic change for a female.
She was probably going to dump him anyway but didn't have the guts to tell him she didn't like him anymore, and when he got the job offer she figured it was the perfect excuse...not anticipating that he would choose her over the job. Typical young chick doesn't realize guys like that have no problem settling down right away. Shit, I was like that when I was young.
Way hotter girls in California than in the Midwest.
The guy in this story is a re-fucking-tard for starters.
I would rather have ulcerative colitis than attempt a LTR with a 19 year old.
Any move you make in your 20s should be about career and nothing else.
"You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you will never lose women chasing money."
For everyone mad at this woman...Remember that AWALT thing? She's just doing what women do, it's not a bad thing. Deep down she was hoping he'd go to Google. If he'd have sacked up and just went for his dream, she may have followed...or she was really hoping he'd do it to get her a good reason to leave him.
Likely she was sick of the relationship long before this Google business, she was just stringing him along until she could branch swing.
The blame lies squarely on this boy who lets others rule him. One day he will learn, or he will spend the rest of his life being someones bitch.
Wisdom, the type of shit you can't learn in a CS program
It seems clear that she wanted to end the relationship, but was trying to make it his fault. I don't think she thought he'd realistically turn down a job at Google just to stay with his girlfriend.
Beta to the Max. Some men are created weak and remain so for the rest of their lives.
I'm hoping that this experience has allowed him to swallow the red pill, and he won't make that mistake again.
It took a similar experience (thank goodness I was in high school still) for me to understand the impermanence of relationships and how your future should be your priority.
If he got an offer less than a year ago he might still be able to get that job without re-interviewing. If you want to help that guy, tell him to reach out to his recruiter to mention that his circumstances changed and he's now interested in taking the offer.
Looks like he dodged two bullets.
When you factor in the cost of living, 130k in Mountain View CA dollars is about 70k in an average town. Plus CA has the highest state income tax around (he'd fall in the ~9% bracket with a 130k starting salary). Compare to a flat 3.75% in IL. Or hell, he could have hunted around and got a tech sector job in Austin TX or somewhere comparable where there's no state income tax.
Rent in Mountain View is about 40% higher than either, groceries are about 20% more, you practically can't get a beer for a one-digit number of dollars. Traffic sucks ass. But the weather is definitely nice, and the job looks prestigious on his resume. Still, with a mere 130k in CA dollars, he's not going to be slaying pussy. You think bay area women are impressed by 130k and Google?
As an added bonus, he got rid of a shitty woman. But this guy should have been kicking ass professionally outside of the box.
Having Google as the first line on your CV is never a bad move, whether it got you rich or not. Plus you're more likely to learn something useful there than working for a bank for example.
Is niczar wrote its good to put Google on CV.
But I turned down job at Google for exactly the same reason. I work remotely and 'only' make half money, but in country with fraction of the cost. House on the beach, eat out every second night, renting a small yacht...
Every month some troll asks me, if I would like to work in Valley. Fuck that.
(+1), since this is my exact play for the future.
Shit I would have done it for the resume alone. If you get accepted at Google you don't let some bitch talk you out of it.
Also, I didn't realize you had to make a certain amount in your salary to "slay pussy".
I just do not get the Bay Area of California in terms of women and wealth. Usually, the wealthy areas of the USA draw in tons of good looking women but this is far from true of the Bay Area. Now maybe I am a bit biased since as a white guy, I am almost exclusively into white women. Still, whenever I visit, I feel like the quality of white girls in that area is one of the lowest in the entire country. Compare that to NYC or So Cal where you have good looking white girls running around all over the fucking place.
Nice weather brings out the dregs, too. You have more homeless bums in the bay area than anywhere else. Because they don't freeze to death there.
Fat, barely employable mooch women hoping to snare some free meals from gainfully employed computer nerds? Not so far from bums, right?
San Francisco has a ton of good looking women- and to be fair, good looking guys as well- but you are correct, once you go down the Peninsula, that pool dries up significantly. In general, the South Bay is full of families and immigrants, not a lot of young good looking singles of either gender.
San Francisco is desperately lacking in good looking white women.
Probably a bit irrelevant but I want to know this, how hard is it to get a job at google anyways?
I graduated college a few years ago as a Chem major and I was thinking of going back for a degree. Had a low GPA as a chem major but want to know what it would take for me to get a job like that now. I am in my late 20s btw.
Work for oil companies mate. Or make LSD.
Doubt its much higher than most other large multinationals, 2:1 degree at minimum UK which is 3.2 gpa ish. Fuck Google though if you like chem work in petrochemicals friend works at Shell they basically hose him down with money every payday.
Post is about a BP guy being dumped by his 19yr old GF - making bad decisions. Most comments are about Google and his apartment....
Don't worry, he only has to wait around for 10 years until she's gotten sufficient "experience with new things" and realizes she's up against the wall -- she'll be back with sexual enthusiasm and sob stories about being "abused", looking to hook in the beta software guy and give birth to her retirement plan.
If a woman says: "Don't do X or I will break up with you." in so many words, you must immediately do X.
She may break up with you for doing X. But she will break up with you for folding to an ultimatum.
Or she wants you to break up with her. I mean, him getting a job at Google isn't a surprise. He must have been talking about his career and applying to jobs for a while. He must have been working internships before that. She has spent a lot of time thinking about what would happen when he graduates. And if she didn't think about it, you can bet her parents talked to her about it.
While a guy working at Google is quite a catch, she is at prime age at a top college, which inherently filters out low quality men. She can get another catch easily. It's not a good idea for her to commit to a long distance relationship and waste her prime years in a prime environment for meeting high quality men. There is a decent chance that he would cheat on her (after all, he will have money and status) when she is not around for 3 years. It could be that she realized that the relationship was unstable and it was best to simply break up and for her to find another guy. Of course, she is not going to be the one that initiates it, so she puts the ball in his court. He is not suppose to actually have a choice. Who the fuck abandons their career like that? She's probably expecting him to break up with her and go to Google, so he can be on his merry way and she can meet other guys. It's pretty much guaranteed that she talked to all her close friends, parents, siblings, etc about it before she gave the ultimatum because him getting a job didn't just pop out of nowhere.
It's a shit test. If he can't do what it takes to earn for the potential family he could have with her then he's shit. She did what was right. He's obviously a looser and not worth any woman's time
Exactly, and he failed. Which is why she dumped him. She realised that he was willing to compromise his mission for HER.
Just for the record six figures doesn't mean that much in San Francisco unless the first figure is a 2.
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I'm not in software, but I've turned away (no offer necessarily, but their recruiters) SpaceX and Tesla for engineering just cause of what I hear about cost of living + hours worked. I've just read too many things about work+life balance being shitty.
I need to work 60? Sure important deadline and they're paying me. More than 60 hours or doing 60 becomes normal? Hard pass - GFY.
Than he was too stupid to work at google anyway
Poor social skills != ineptitude in tech
Fear of loneliness is the mind-killer.
I may go against the grain here but why would he even think "if I do this (take this job) she is mine forever"...?
Just like she must prove herself to you multiple times, so must you in some regard. She does not do one thing for you and suddenly, poof!, you are completely satisfied.
Yeah it sucks for him, but he should have never believed that doing this one thing was going to be the end all be all. Besides. She's a 19 yo girl - their minds are as made up and constant as much as the shape of water is constant.
First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Here is a story a found on Youtube, from a guy called Steve L. :
Hahahahah yesss, i love these story. Another bitchman wrekt
Uiuc? You in Champaign homie?
Barely six figures isn't shit in SF.
Google really dodged a bullet...
In all honesty, she is right about the new experiences. I highly recommend anyone NOT TO GET INTO LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP before they are 25-30. As a general rule, the chance of it working out is very small. I know that this may sound like pain if you're below that age, but just don't do it.
There's a thing called optimal choice (I believe) that exists in nature that says to essentially reject all potential mates for first one third of your sexually active life in order to maximize potential to find happiness in a long term relationship.
The idea is that the first third (in women this is up to around the age of 25, in men around 30) is for experiencing different people, finding out what you like and don't like. And after those experiences you maximize the odds of ending up in a relationship that will make you happy in long term (if this is your goal).
The idea is to then select the first person that is better than everybody in that first third of your sexually active life.
While it may hurt to think that it is stupid or childish for someone to say they want to experience new things, this is actually the best thing the person can do for themselves.
If you don't have a lot of experiences, then not committing is the best thing you can do.
There's a good talk about it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFVXsjVdvmY
Probably false: https://youtu.be/um3EmS9DKsI?t=896
The source is in the description.
I don't know about the other statements but I will watch the talk you linked when I have time. Looks interesting.
I don't think it is false. If you commit without having a lot of experiences, how do you know you are committing something that you actually want and will enjoy?
The optimal choice works for apartments too, if you've never looked for an apartment on the market before, then buying the first one you find that you like is not the best decision you can make. It may be, but there's a huge chance that it isn't, both price and quality wise.
You need to gather experience in order to know yourself better, what you like and what inspires and motivates you. Both personality traits of the other person, how they are in bed, what kind of passion and intimacy you share and so on. If you don't have experiences from those fields, then it is exciting as everything seems new, but you don't know what else you may like better.
Because you first write down the things you want out of a relationship (in your mind). If these things are not possible or reciprocally you do not commit to this person. It is something that should be discussed like adults before committing.
As with your apartment example. You do not move into an apartment if the cost is too high, too far from work etc. You don't need to experience that (by moving into it) to figure it out.
I agree with this part though. We don't live in ideal world unfortunately.
Either way an interesting perspective.
I thought the past is a good prediction of the future i.e. high turn over rate in the past = high chance the relationship will not last with the new person this time neither (either?).
But as you mentioned, at the same time it could be very good to learn more about yourself.
I watched the video by the way. Point 1 and 3 have a problem. For example at point 3 she says that positive or negative conversation rate can predict if the marriage lasts. This is misleading because it is not the conversation that is the problem but that things that caused the conversations and negativity.
As for the point you brought up (point 2). In the talk she said there were some risks like which might be true in this case: the early partner might be the best one you will ever meet. I mean, the guy could have gotten a job at google and actually turned it down for her. Not only shows that how much he is willing to give up for her (and how good of a provider he is) but it is also selfish of her to make him choose (thats how it went right?) and then leave him anyways. Optimal stopping is probability (?)so it is only a rough estimate. I don't really know how rough though. I haven't found proof of it explained in layman terms.
Another thing I wanted to ask you is: do you know other videos related to this (how to choose a partner)? other mathematically proven stuff about marriage, relationships and so on?
Well, the thing about conversations being a way to predict divorces is that it is seriously accurate. While it is true that conversations can be negative for reasons unclear from the conversations, you should also keep in mind that conversations are the number one thing in a relationship. It is what gets us into relationships and what causes it to flourish. So it's line a litmus test for relationship health.
There are some other talks/videos which I can highly recommend, yes. Here's a few I could quickly remember:
Stable Marriage Problem: https://youtu.be/Qcv1IqHWAzg
Power of Vulnerability: https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o
The Greatest Work of Art is to Love Someone: https://youtu.be/SEFIxxtIFsA
Hopefully you'll find some if those interesting :)
This is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.
This is also a lie smart people tell attractive dumb people.
well good news for him. theres tons of other 6 figure jobs for programmers in SF if he still wants to make the move
I like to say a women has only one decision related to me. She's either with me or she isn't. Anything else is off the table.
When I look at this thread and some of the comments here I can see why TRP is needed.
Even if TRP was as "bad" as the BPers claim - Apparently men are stupid, we NEED this shit to function.
This guy gets the Idiot of the year award. This guy has to be the biggest Omega to even consider a 19yo over Google. This is why TRP is so needed in today's society. No real man in his right mind would have tossed away an opportunity like that for anything but winning the lottery! This poor shlub tossed away a major career move over a girl. Not a woman, but a girl. I wish I had more to say but I face-palmed myself so hard I nearly knocked myself out.
In all honesty a dude like that wouldn't date anyone in Cali anyways. There is a serious lack of females there.
I'm sure he could still potentially be hired by Google in the future if he puts his mind to it. Still, over a few months that's a few thousand potential dollars lost.
I can't even feel compassion for this stupid fuck. He deserved that shit. I tell you something, he must be a very smart and good professional, but by the looks of it he won't go far since he'll put the needs and wants of others before his own life.
Always look after yourself at first hand, always.
Why blame the IT field (probably software development but everyone thinks is the same) when clearly is a bad decision MOST of boys his age and situation would have done. A stupid decision tho.
Oh, by the way, in this field, 6 figures is not that great as you might guess. He has more opportunities in other startups with better payment and/or conditions. Guess he is not that scarcity minded, his mistake was letting the girl do the decision for him.
Dont listen to stupid bitches for career advise.
Wow...utterly speechless. Never in my life would I turn down a job like that, especially for a 19 year old freshman girl. I mean I'm sure the kid will be ok in his career but turn down a job like that where you could be living like a king in sunny California surrounded by beautiful women with one of best jobs in the world? Yea, sorry that is one thing he will definitely regret in life.
Oh my God of All That's Redpill, this made me so fuckin' cringe inside and feel uneasy like I haven't felt in my life. I just don't know what to say. Even if this story is fake, I don't care, this should be prime example of what bluepill thinking can done to You.
And it is not about the money. Working in big company like Google or any other big players out there can be, if played right, very beneficial to own self improvement. I know that right now, particularly in US, they are fighting for diversity and feminist causes but still, what the hell. Their resources are massive and You can be near what is going on in the world of technology. Any other smaller companies are scraping what they are producing.
Lesson learned: DONT EVER SUBMIT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND EVER. Only acceptable form of submission is when she sits on Your member. Or face, if You are into it.
Well, expect to see him sooner or later. She just redirected his life to a whole different track than it would have taken. Totally different.
Betas will never learn - YOU CANT NEGOTIATE DESIRE
Yeah, this was basically me. Older guys would lament how they moved somewhere or turned-down and opportunity for a woman with a sheepish grin of embarrassment, and I'd think "It's okay if I do those things because I'm not dating an asshole; those guys should have had higher standards." I was the special exception considering for how long we had been together and all the things we had done for each other. Yeah, no.
Long story short- You are never the exception.
To be honest, that's not a bad thing in the end. Yes at Google you're surrounded by smart people which can push you to be a better technologist. The downside though is that you're surrounded by very smart people who think they know the answer to everything, even if they have no clue what they are doing. Plus the traffic in the South Bay SUCKS! I'd rather take a job making a little less in a place with less traffic and where housing prices are cheaper (which this guy didn't seem to choose) than CA again. Tell your buddy to look into Red Hat.
These guys deserve it. Hopefully, he'll learn from it, grow, and make far more money. However, he'll probably fall back into the same trap.
It's not the end. There is strong demand for quality people with CS skills. Google is not a spiteful bitch that will turn him down if he resubmits his CV.
Believing it is the end IS the end.
Damn. This dude is going to regret that for the rest of his life. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. What a fucking idiot.
It's easy to fuck up your career. It is even easier to get a new girlfriend; especially with a successful career.
Once a woman has control of you she will spit you out. He is 'supposed' to be strong and a provider. If she can talk him into harming his own ability to provide, how reliable could he be in the future? Weakness in men make women angry.
I know someone who was the Captain of a Canadian Jr National championship team. Since his team won the cup his name is actually somewhere in the hockey hall of fame.
Similar story with the HS sweetheart, he turned down full hockey scholarships to multiple top hockey colleges to stay local with her. I don't know if he would have ever made it to the NHL but he never even tried due to this girl. They actually got married a few years back and now he makes 60k as an IT guy. I've heard that she may have not been/still is not faithful, and have no proof of that, but its more upsetting that he traded in a potential life of a fortune and fame to be a middle of the road schlub over a girl.
Lesson learned:
TAKE THE JOB. If the girl really wants you, she'll follow you to your job.
Every young guy needs either a good father or a mentor. Rational male guidance is a huge indicator of long term success. A father or mentor would have told him to stop being an idiot and take the job. If it's meant to be, she'll stick around.
From what I hear working at Google is hellish. Same with Microsoft or any of the other big names. Small fims is the way to go.
Difference in the cost of living between the two places is drastic as well.
Ideally if the stories I hear are true if I were him I'd have taken the Google job, dumped her ass anyway, put in 5 years and save like crazy living frugal. After that have my pick of any sweet easy gig in the Midwest or start my own contracting business.
She would have moved to be with him in California. If she knew any idea how much better her life would be out here and that she has a ticket paid for by him she would leave. No young woman in their right mind would stay in the midwest if they could have a life that is paid for in Silicon Valley.
I have spent my entire life in California and several months in high end towns in Silicon Valley. There is no beating it. Especially if you can afford the better places.
Likewise. If she was really smart she would have done whatever she could to move to SV with him. What ever she could. Worship the balls. Then while in SV she could have him afford the entire lifestyle she has. Meanwhile she can be on the prowl to replace her $120,000 earning dude with a $300,000 earning dude. They will be all around her. She could get a job as a waitress and vet several dudes a day looking for the replacement.
She could have totally used him to find a much much better upgrade. Something she will likely not find in the midwest.
what a fucking dumbass, i think its good though, a beta fuck tard like that could do some damage at google
Wasn't there some old movie where the older guy says to the younger guy "If you chase money, you will always have women, but if you chase women, you will never have money"?
I don't really feel bad for this guy. Plus I really think the girl in this case was actually being not all that bad. I mean, I don't know the situation personally obviously, maybe she was an evil psycho about it. I have no idea. But it doesn't sound reasonable that she was to me given what you have said.
She clearly stated that she didn't want to do a long distance thing which is quite reasonable. I have a long distance FWB, but that's a pretty extraordinary situation. I would never consider it at all in any situation, bar the fact that I actually get on with this FWB quite well. (Shared love of black metal music).
But from what you say, it was his choice to quit and try and be with her. If a girl gave up a great opportunity just to be with me, I would think she'd be nuts! Not that I'm not worth it as I'm generally fantastic (beaming smile) but really that's a big load to put on somebody, especially a fucking college girl. "So, hey yeah, I gave up on that amazing life opportunity for you". I mean, come off it. No wonder she dumped him.
Hopefully he got taught the lesson that he needed and if he really is Google caliber he should have no problem finding something else.
Currently dating a 19 year old as a 23 year old man. This story concerns me greatly... College seems to be a feeding ground for young women trying to lock down guys who are just at the start of their career. My LTR has already started to shit-test me regarding my future plans and career ambitions. I find it incredibly annoying.
She was probably fucking him so good that he lost his mind which resulted in losing his lifetime #1 job. What a fucking joke.
If she threatens to break up to stop him from pursuing a career, is she really worth it anyway? She has already shown that she doesn't care enough. He should have said bye-bye, even if he wasn't moving.
edit: one last tap, then bye-bye
To be fair, he's probably better off financially for staying in the Midwest. 130k is nothing in California. Career wise, though, he done fucked up.
These are the kind of people offered jobs at google?
Was this guy also 19? he got offered a 6-figure salary at that age and turned it down?
Being offered that kind of money at that young of an age is amazing. And turning it down for a girl is the dumbest thing your friend probably ever did :\
No, he was a senior, and was 21 at the time.
It's* obvious
why it's* never worth it
Not the first time I read something like that, very commune actually. Definitively a big trap to not fall for.
Had he stood his ground he would have the job and the girlfriend. Had he then held frame he would have stopped her bitching about having to move.
Fuck that. Move to Cali for your brand new spanking six digits (presumably) job? You've never gotten a better golden ticket in life than that.
didn't read the post as yet, but i cringed at the title..
Wow, i'm surprised she didnt go crazy with excitement over the prospect of all that money
Reminds me of this scene from Whiplash. Ugly, but Andrew achieves his goal at the end and pleases an unpleasant mentor.
I had a friend in High School that made a similar choice. Instead of going to Penn State his girlfriend convinced him not to go, instead going to our local state school. She broke up with him anyway a little ways on.
If the guy is good at what he does, then he will have other opportunities. While hopefully he learned a valuable lesson about women, he should also go through the time and trouble to hone his software development skills so that when that second chance does come along, and it will, he will be ready to take it.
For software development, the following quote is very true:
"a great writer of software code is worth 10,000 times the price of an average software writer." - Bill Gates
Well the job isn't lost, surely a feminist company like Google will respect his submissiveness even if his ex-girlfriend didn't. Surely?
Hopefully that young man looks to his employer that could have been, and does a search for "how not to be such a chump next time" and stumbles across TRP. I saw Tomorrowland last week, and it makes me want to leave little red pills to be found by the uninitiated, similar to those T tokens.
I logged in just to post this.
People saying that rent is big in America are either crazy or EXTREMELY entitled.
I'm from Europe, I lived in 2 3rd world coubtries where the average rent of both was 250 Euros (roughly 250 $) / month.
I have an apartment which I bought for 44k, 50 SQ meters, fully furnished. That includes ALL taxes, agency cuts, documents, etc. I started searching for an apartment and found this one in roughly 3 days.
I have a friend who earns about the same as me; he bought an apartment for 40k, 50 SQ meters, unfurnished (he had a fridge and a bed in the whole house), and this excludes the taxes, documents and agency commission. He found it in about 2-4 months. In the end, this friend paid 50K to get it BARELY furnished and the taxes and etc (he bought a brand new fridge, a table, a closet). He kept pumping money on his apartment on a monthly basis: he renovated, he bought all the furniture, he bought led lighting installed in the ceiling in a custom way (which also had dimming of course), he bought a really fancy 300-400E (can't remember) bathtub with hydro-massage, he bought an extremely expensive stove and electric oven, he went to all our friends (me included) to see what TVs we had and then bought a TV that was bigger and better than any of ours. Last time I talked to him about his house was about 6 months ago when he was discussing with a carpenter so he could make him a 600-700E "couch set": a big L-shaped couch, 2 armchairs, all custom made. He was really proud and kinda boasting to me that he managed to find this "sweet deal" because the carpenter asked for "only 600-700E in comparison to shop X which sold something very similar for 800E".
I have another friend who earns around 1/4th of my/ my first friend's salary, yes that's 25% and he's also searching for an apartment. He's been searching for an apartment for at least 6 months and I still think he didn't find one. I wanted to help him and asked for his search criteria. He said: "Man, your apartment is ok but I would like an apartment in which I'd love to stay forever; something a bit better than what you have; it should be at least 10 SQ meters bigger than yours, be in a better area, have newer furniture. Also my price range is 40-55k." I was dumbstruck. This guy earns very little, yet is more pretentious than me and wants to blow even more money? Also my furniture is roughly from the 2000-2005s; wtf?
The only thing I bought for my apartment was a TV so I can watch movies from my PC on it; it costed roughly 450E and is ~ 100 cm diagonal. My first friend when he came and saw my TV, asked me what its diagonal is; when he bought his TV, the first thing he told me about it was that his TV had a 120 diagonal and smiled. I don't have a cable plan set up since I don't watch TV for the better of 10 years; he set up a custom plan with channels selected by him. I have a really long (5 meter) cable from my PC to my TV; he bought a 100E external HDD because "I don't wanna waste energy keeping my PC open and it making noise; also there's smaller cables involved and it looks better".
I lived for ~ 2 years with my (at the time) girlfriend in a ~12 SQ meters apartment where the kitchen, the one room, the hallway, the bathroom were all 1 but separated by fake thin walls. Our bed was a foldable couch; if you unfolded the couch it would literally take all the space and I had to take the only chair in the whole house out in the "hallway"; there would be no floor left and you'd be sitting in bed. I didn't mind it there; I liked it. It costed 150 E/ month. After 2 years my gf started not liking it there and we started looking for something with 15-20 SQ meteres to have more room.
Conclusion: Don't prioritize shit that don't matter. You don't need a smart TV; you don't need fancy technology or an amazing bathroom or amazing furniture. Make it "livable" and if you can make it pleasing to the eye. ANYTHING past that is just entitlement, fuzzball lifestyle which only snobs and bitches should have.
I never researched rents in America but I'm sure you can get away with a 50-1000$ rent if you live in the conditions I live/ lived; maybe even less. Don't be a lowlife snob please!