tl;dr: your instincts mean you can't handle women without abundance mentality. You can only get abundance mentality by spinning plates. Hence, start with spinning plates.

Everything starts with reality, a few fundamental axioms that you accept intuitively and upon which you build everything else.

Your axiom is that you are a man. You have sexual needs. You are programmed by billions of years of evolution to spread your seed far and wide. Your body and your brain crave the feeling of sex from before the beginning of your sexual maturity.

When you have only once source of fulfillment, you are a slave to it. All the guys that get carried on a leash by their GFs are in that situation. They can only get it from one source and that makes them slaves to it. Everything else is superstructure. Your need: 1. Your sources: 1. Your dependency: 1/1 = 100%.

When you have zero sources of fulfillment, you are a slave to every potential source. This is the situation of all the desperate betas and foreveralone virgins. Any passing hole is, to them, the most important thing they could possibly achieve. Your need: 1. Your sources: 0. Your dependency: 1/0 = ∞.

A bit of game. Options. You have two girls that you are seeing? need = 1, sources = 2, your dependency = 1/2 = 50%.

But then it gets better. Because when you have two, you immediately realize there's no reason you couldn't have three. Or four. Or any number of women out there. Your need is still one, it's never going away. But your sources go up and up. 3 and a half billion women? your sources go to infinity for all practical purposes. Dependency: 1/∞ = 0. You are free.

Abundance is the ultimate freedom. When you don't depend on any woman, no woman has power over you. If she gives you shit, walk away. Shit tests? you don't need to know how to blow through them, you'll just do it. So long as your body is convinced the sex it wants doesn't have to come from her, she has zero hold over you. Congratulations, you've won.

Word of warning: this isn't wishy-washy "it's all in your mind" bullshit. This only works if you know, if you truly deep-down know, that if you walk away from her there's another one right next. If you know that telling her to shove it doesn't mean going a few more months of lonely masturbation before you talk to another girl. The only way to conquer this freedom is to have it: you can't fake it, you can't force it, you either have it or you don't. If you don't have a plate ready to spin any time your dick twitches or thereabouts, it won't work. Your sexual needs are not fake, nor optional, nor rational; your responses to them won't be either. Either your body knows that you have abundance or you don't have that freedom.

So spin plates, hard and from the start. Never start slow. You need abundance mentality to spin plates successfully and you need to be spinning plates to have abundance mentality. How do you start? get fit, get style (you can do this independently of your sex life), then start spinning plates hard. Put your abs up on Tinder and swipe 5000 sluts, you don't need game. Trust me: when even just 3 girls reply to you saying something like 'wow', you'll go into abundance gear like you've never experienced in your life. From there, it's the gravy train.