It's hard for me to put into words how fucking idiotic this situation has become.

Some of you might already be familiar with my handle and post history, but for those who are new, I'll start from the beginning.

We met online last year. She flew to see me, from Canada. Her pics and "reality" of course didn't match. My rejection of her was pretty clear and swift from the outset. I also told everyone in the online group we met about how I felt, that I didn't think she looked good. Ya, I publicly trashed her, mostly because of how brazen, egotistical and how full of herself she came across as. I felt she needed to be taken down a peg.

But she wouldn't let up, despite the public humiliation. Pursued and pursued me. She had "good" qualities (most people have good qualities), she was smart, we got along, as friends.

In terms of relationship? I saw it as a nightmare.

In the course of her incessant pursuit after we met, I stayed on the sidelines, until the manipulation just kept ramping up. Once she had gone back, it was easy to sort get "lulled" into submission from her stellar online photos she used so proficiently (any man would consider her to be hot, based on those manipulated photos), my judgment would get clouded, and I'd forget about the "reality" of "her" which didn't match at all.

She was late 30s, and had taken exceptionally poor care of herself from a health standpoint and was covering it all up with make-up, her big talk, big mouth ("I'm dieting, I'm exercising" on and on). Smoke and mirrors. Very, very poor health, to put it mildly, and also poorly behaved, immature.

She returns to visit, yet again, to which I begrudgingly agree to. Each time, I dump her almost the moment she arrives, which leads to bouts and fits of screaming and crying. The third visit was hellish, she turned into a complete monster and lunatic when I asked her to leave (I realize that's an awkward, painful thing to be asked to leave, but she put herself in a situation she knew that could happen, and had already happened. Instead of being an adult, she turned it into a days-long drama of crying and hostility).

After she FINALLY left after her third visit, I was done. So I thought.

Yet, again, we were still "talking." Why? Well, when a woman's looks have faded, she will pull out all the stops personality-wise and feed a man's ego, give him attention, and that she did, for me.

But I felt safe with the distance and us being from two countries, feeling that that long distance would keep things from progressing.

I finally drifted away, and we don't talk for a month or two. I go on a date. She learns of this, and apparently felt very possessive, as if I "cheated" on her (big red flag, of course, as we had no official relationship at all at that point). This was nothing new, as she had projected all kinds of desperation, to the point of attacking other women online who I spoke with.

We begin talking again, and she pushes and pushes, begs, harasses me relentlessly that I make things "official" that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. I resist for a month, then give in earlier this spring.

That's one of many stupid decisions on my part.

Why would I keep this going? Because of the attention, and the fact she's definitely got a much higher IQ and higher intelligence than most girls (that, alone, is of course not enough for a relationship at all, but it's something I value; where most guys might say, "Forget it," her intelligence kept me strung along).

My loneliness, and laziness, allowed this to go on, too, when I knew full well what a complete disaster she was -- physically, emotionally, mentally.

I've since concluded she is a Borderline person, or BPD, with codependent tendencies, who "attaches" to a person and NEVER lets go. She also suffers from anxiety, and despite being in her late 30s, has difficult "adulting" and behaves like a teenager half the time. She hasn't worked in 20 years. She can't drive a car. She has no boundaries at all, and once she's "claimed" you, you are now hers for life and if you walk away, break up with her, she will not take "No" for an answer.

If you do end it, expect threats, to you, to herself, self-harm, screaming, yelling, crying, sabotage, 10,000 texts and calls, on and on. It's so bad you start to think, "It's not worth it to end it," especially when she shows those signs of being vindictive, like saying she'll make a false rape claim if I call the cops.

Anyway, jump to this summer, and she's living in a homeless shelter and begging me to let her come and LIVE with me. I resist, I resist, I say no, over and over.

Then I give in. Her constant promises that she will "change" opened the door for me to say "Yes," though I immediately regretted it.

She claims she needs someone to "help" her grow and "fix" all these problems she has, and then mirrors it with me, saying I also EQUALLY have "problems" and we can "help each other." Except, I'm not a homeless, fat, mentally ill, posessive bum. I have issues, but not nearly as severe. She craftily made it out like we were on equal footing (maybe we are, if I'm stupid enough to be with her).

She arrives, moves in. I immediately notice she's dirty and a pig, despite how she claims how "clean" she is.

Drama for the next few months ensues, in which I periodically break up with her, ask her to leave, lock her out, and she proceeds to go on a blitzkrieg of insanity.

The hellscape of ending it with her is SO bad, you conclude just "outlasting" it is worth it -- by that, I mean outlasting her visa which expires after six months, after which she becomes an illegal alien who must leave.

Luckily enough, she did leave on her own. She wanted to visit a friend in another state. I bought her a one-way ticket and began easing her into the fact I didn't want her back, and I finally wrote her and told her to go back to her country.

The only problem was that as I wrote her this, and sent it, she was on a plane flight back here, unbeknownst to me. She arrived at my doorstep at 1 a.m., claiming she had no money. I refused to let her in. She cried and cried, and I finally did, stating she could stay until she got some money from her trust fund (yes, you heard that right, trust fund). I knew that could take a week or two.

Instead of her leaving, this now extends into another two months, in which she manages to cook up our "relationship" in her mind, and string together things "I said" that must mean I want to be with her. She'll grab on to anything I say and then claim, "You said you wanted to be with me!" I am guilty of saying things like, "We could go to Mexico on a trip," but I think this is just me -- bludgeoned by this "relationship" -- trying to be positive, trying to make something good out of something that's a mess. It's stupid I do it, because it gives her enough fuel to keep it going in her mind.

At one point, I did lock her out, only to have her go screaming and crying through the neighborhood, and I let her back in.

And here we are, she doesn't have much time left before she's here illegally and overstaying her visa... she's EVEN bought a ticket! She's really planning to leave, right?

And lo and behold...

Back problems! Severe back problems, flare back up, so bad to the point she can't walk, and we make about four visits to the ER.

She just took a pee and a shit in my house, in her room in my house, in a fucking bucket on the floor. She claims the "pain" is so bad she can't even walk to the bathroom. The smell was horrific.

That's where I'm at. I have a disabled, incontinent leech crazy person living in my house, who was NOT invited to be here, who showed up here unannounced, and who will not leave.

There will ALWAYS be a reason she can't go, to the point she seems willing to break US law and overstay her visa, risk being deported and never being allowed back here.

She's that desperate. That stupid. That insane.

She talks about leaving and how I'll "break up with her" and she'll cry, throw a fit. She's putting any roadblock she can in the way of that eventuality. She's terrified of leaving, because now she can't crash here, rely on me, and I can break up with her without enduring most of her bullshit. Instead, it will be text and calls from thousands of miles away, and she'll have less power to harass me.

She knows this. It scares her. So, enter the back problems, and her inability to walk.

Now I have a homeless, vagrant illegal in my home, who is totally disabled, who will expect me to take care of her, do everything for her (I already have been for two weeks), care for her.

I allowed this. I can't play victim. I let this happen, knowing what a total loser fuckwit she is. My fault.

I just wanted to share how this experience has done three things, 1) make me strongly believe in MGTOW and 2) never allow myself to associate with women unless they are quality, attractive (MGTOW doesn't mean we can't have sex or like women), and never, ever let them live with me again 3) taught me how post-Wall women will use every desperate measure in the book to hook a man, and that our loneliness makes us vulnerable to their attention.

Before you go, "How the hell?" keep in mind, she's a skilled manipulator, and has good qualities. But relationship-wise, she's a nightmare. As a friend, she's not bad. There's something about the "relationship" itself that turns her into this Fatal Attraction-type monster. Remove the relationship, and she's a fairly cool person.

That dichotomy can be confusing, too. Some people do become monsters in the context of a relationship, because intimacy is so difficult or scary for them, or they're so desperate for it. You have to sort of separate the two. A person can seem "sane" alone, but turn into a nightmare when in a relationship, and for her that is very true. All the BPD symptoms become very obvious, pronounced.

She's sick. She needs help. But I'm not going to let her destroy me in that process.

Now I have to contact law enforcement, carefully, make a report, a paper trail, and probably this may end with immigration getting involved if she refuses to leave.

Keep in mind, at this point, she claims she can't physically do ANYTHING, can't walk, can't go to the bathroom. Now think about how logistically you get a person like that OUT of your house. Not easy. Oh and expect a lot of screaming and rape accusations if you want to remove her physically.

Any advice? There's no simple answer. But one person I trust told me to do everything I can to kick her out, no matter her protestations about her back pain -- suggesting some of it is just fantasy / manipulation, and that she probably can walk, she just refuses (keep in mind, we went to the ER four times, and yes she does have back problems and it's real, but the extent of it is hard to know for sure. At least a few docs and nurses seemed to think her crying and writhing in pain was a bit over the top. It's hard to know for sure. But what I do know is, this disabled person thinks she can basically 'crash' in my home illegal forever, because this person has no boundaries, doesn't care about personal property, cannot take any responsibility for themselves whatsoever).