AITA if I leave my paralysed husband who got paralysed saving me?
(Sorry for any writing mistakes, English is my second language).
In 2016, a car running a red light while the driver was drunk and speeding was about to hit me when my husband of a year saw and got in between it and got me out of the way. He became paralysed from the chest down and can't do almost anything and I have to do almost everything for him unless the nurse is here.
I want to run away. I'm 30. I can't handle this anymore.
I hinted at it with a therapist and she said "he gave up his life for yours, it's only fair you do the same for him".
I get what she is saying, but the thing is, I wish he didn't do it. I honestly wish I just died that day. I'd rather die than live the decades forever as a caregiver and nurse. This was not worth being saving for. This life is not worth having. I'd rather be dead than living like this.
I haven't had sex in 3.5 years but he will be unhappy if I do have sex, saying it is a betrayal and he can't have sex. I can't go on a holiday anywhere because it is hard to even take him out to somewhere that is not the medical centre. I can't do a single thing because the medical costs are so high and the compensation doesn't cover anything. He is always so miserable and unhappy (which I get) that it is having a huge impact on my mental health. I am now on anti-depressants and valium and wish I don't awaken when tired because I don't want to go on anymore.
He has said things that suggests he regrets doing it and resents me I don't blame him at all. He get angry i'm not "grateful" enough lately, but what do I have to be grateful for now? I'd rather have died than be a nurse for 50 years. There a reason I didn't study nursing. I feel like if I stay, I will live the rest of my depressed and dreaming the end.
AITA if I leave for a shot at not being unhappy and miserable and being able to have a romantic relationship instead of a caregiver one?
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