I posted this as a reply in this thread but I wanted to expand on this a bit.

On Nice Guys

A common trope I continuously hear is that nice guys aren't really nice, or that they pretend to be nice to score. Or that their niceness is contrived. This attempts to reframe the argument that nice-guys aren't really nice therefore rejecting them is rational, female egos be preserved.

Niceness need not be contrived to fail. I was a genuinely nice guy, I just did stuff for everybody that asked. I figured, people like nice. I like to be liked. Therefore I'll be nice.

And I let people take advantage of me. But this wasn't contrived niceness. It was naivety. I was taught from an early age, share, be nice, respect people and they'll respect you. What really happened was nobody respected me and everybody took advantage of me.

And I think that's why I dislike the recent reframe of the nice-guy problem. They're not typically disingenuous. They're simply misinformed. They can be as genuinely nice as anybody can be.

On Confidence/Assholes

I keep seeing here on the red pill this common trope. "You don't have to be an asshole, just confident..."

So the argument is that you don't have to be an asshole to be confident. I disagree. Part of having good game (for men) is conveying (not explicitly) that you have options. The only way to do that is to send signals that you have options. These signals must act counter to what would be expected from somebody following the "rules" of our society. In other words, in order to convey value implicitly, I must appear to be unintentionally breaking societal rules. To do this, I must make offenses, albeit small enough ones to maintain attraction.

Some examples:

  • You text me, sometimes I don't text back.

  • I cancel dates 1/3 of the time.

  • I make plans with multiple people and only go to the one that I'm most interested in that day.

  • I won't buy you a birthday gift.

  • I won't buy you drinks.

  • You'll try to get me to open up, and I'm not going to.

These are all not just confidence traits, but decidedly anti-social traits that we learn from youth are what "assholes" do.

And it drives women wild.

Enlightened women mention they like the combo of asshole and gentleman. I agree that's the most attractive way to go about life for a man. But don't forget, to be both, you have to be an asshole at least some of the time.

It's not enough to be confident. You must convey your value by showing you have options, and you cannot do so explicitly.