Summary
Round and round the carousel goes. Who's in line next? No one knows. But know this. There is a line, and it will shuffle forward. The music will commence and the carousel will spin once again, continuing in your absence.
Place your quarters inside. Hop on the ride. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Blog Article: http://www.redpilldoctor.com/shes-not-yours-its-just-your-turn-the-glass-is-already-broken/
Body
I see guys consumed by the thoughts of another man caressing her, kissing her lips, receiving her touch -- her love. The mere thought of 'their' girl giving herself to another man to enjoy drives them mad with jealousy, even anger.
I see guys confront any man suspected of making the moves on 'their' girl, demanding to know who he his, how she knows him, and what she's doing with him. They make cringe-worthy attempts to AMOG or mate guard. They even get into fist fights, especially after they found out about her 'indiscretions'.
I even see guys talk about planting spyware on 'their' girl's phone or computer, gaining access to her social media, and a plethora of other methodologies to keep tabs on 'their' woman, on this very sub.
This is nonsense, a complete waste of time and energy, a demonstration of scarcity mentality, and based on the faulty premise that she was his. Understand this, she's not yours, it's just your turn.
If a girl wants to cheat, she will. Without remorse. Any decent looking woman will be bombarded by a horde of male suitors attempting to win her vaginal affections. They're messaging her on social media, texting her, flirting with her on the street, talking to her at the bar, being extra nice to her at work. She even has a few backups on her phone. She is just one phone call, one text, one IM, one approach away from getting a dicking from somebody else. It's an ever-present phenomenon. It always has been. It is.
Women are fickle. Their feelings change in a sporadic manner. Women find other men attractive (shocker, I know).
You do not own her. You do not have control over her feelings. Her feelings will change over time and she has every right to change her mind as she sees fit, just like you.
So stop worrying about it. All you can do is be the best version of yourself, utilize your TRP toolbox, then set your boundaries early and draw the line. Enjoy it while it lasts. Should she cross the line, whatever it may be, end it. No discussion. No argument. No hesitation. Do it with conviction. Do it knowing that you were fine before her, and you'll be fine after. Think of it this way...
The glass is already broken
"You see this goblet?" asks Achaan Cha, the Thai meditation master.
"For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, 'of course.'
When I understand the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious."
This is not to be mistaken for a passive pushover approach. This does not mean turn the other way when presented with red flags. This does not mean you have to be a stoic robot with no feelings. It does mean all good things come to an end and you need to be ready to make the right decision when the time comes. It was fun, but now it's done.
Conclusion
She made out with some guy at a party. Another guy fondled her tits and fingered her pussy. Chad shot a load in her mouth that one time. She had a couple of boyfriends in the past, each of them cumming inside her and each of them received her declaration of eternal exclusive love: "I love you baby. There's nobody else I'd rather be with."
Now she's with you.
Now it's your turn.
LTR? Plate? One night stand? Doesn't matter. Live, love, laugh. Enjoy her feminine energy, her touch, her soft skin, her aroma, her ass, her tits, and her warm wet hole or whatever else you like about her. Just remember to hold on loosely. Don't waste emotional energy worrying about something you have no control over. Don't take extreme measures to ensure her fidelity or continuing plate status. Don't attempt to prevent the inevitable when presented with it.
Place your quarters inside. Hop on the ride. Enjoy it while it lasts.
The End
Recommended Post on this Philosophy
Dirty Sheets by RedPope (1378 pts + guilded)
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This should be a stickied post. A reminder, gentlemen. It happens. Do you sit and obsess, or do you take charge of YOUR life and better yourself?
Paraphrasing The Godfather: They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.
Most people in general can be classified as "animals".
I see everyone engage in primal behavior on a daily basis. Women exercising hypergamy and men trying to be top dog in the workplace. If people want to be ruthless then so be it because I'm really fucking good at it. I don't want to be but when people start crossing lines they ought not cross, what else can you do, eh?
the answer is you just cheat yourself. its a shit investment stifling your options and compromising your own strategy when she will fuck you over with no remorse. there is no economic incentive to.
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Don't accept that she cheats and keep going with her. Next that shit. The more guys that accept this the more that women out there get the message it's ok to cuck guys. If every man put his foot down hard on this behavior instead of being ok with it then that shit will slow down. Woman cheats, gets caught, then tells husband to make it work? She only wants to keep the house and no matter how hard the husband 'works at it' she will leave moment she has a guaranteed latch-down on another man. Not worth it, don't deal with it, leave. This is also why many on TRP say don't get married, it makes nexting THAT MUCH EASIER.
I don't think he meant stay with them, rather don't get angry because it's inevitable. Reread the post in the same tone as the OP.
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Clarified better, yes that is the way to be about it. But do not ever be accepting of the way women are when they act shitty to you, get upset and next her then drop that baggage and move on a few minutes later.
Just wow. I've been here for over a year and every day I read something about women that makes me say just wow.
Currently perusing top points. Not to detract from your point, but idk if anyone realizes that this point was made in the context of justifying selling drugs to black people. The point was the guy making the quote (iirc Don Barzini) was an awful racist.
I do realize the context. I also realize that it was a harsh statement to make.
I thought it appropriate.
While Don Barzini justifies selling drugs because they're animals, women will cheat. There's no remorse, no sympathy, no thought. It's done. Because they feel like it.
Yeah, I thought it appropriate. My other point of what do you do now still is primary.
I knew you were aware of the context. And it definitely applies. I just got a kick outta your successfully using a morally questionable statement to bolster an argument, with everyone none the wiser. I occasionally do the same with Ted Bundy, Mussolini, etc.
A must read for anyone who wants to destroy oneitis and master abundance mentality.
In Buddhism, impermance is a key concept in eliminating our suffering. We will always suffer when we want things to be permanent when they are not. Nothing is permanent. All things must come to an end.
A good way of coping with this which I do every morning is recite one of The Five Remembrances;
Buddhism is the original Red Pill. Dude sits under the Bodhi Tree and realizes life isn't what everyone thinks it is, goes on a quest to teach others the way to Enlightenment - freedom from suffering. Just like Red Pill today, most people rejected it. They preferred the status quo, materialistic lifestyle focused on permanent deities which continues to this day.
Buddhism also teaches something that isn't debatable. The concept of impermanence isn't a "religion," it's a fact. Nothing is permanent. Similarly, Red Pill articulates the behaviors of men and women in a way that is uncannily accurate and predictable...yet people still reject it. They prefer the status quo, blue pill, gynocentric lens to view the world.
Buddhism or Red Pill, people still prefer the comfort of falsehood to the pain of truth. Plato's Cave is also another great analogy here.
Allegory of the cave
furthermore one should embrace change. If you lose your SO it's an opportunity to have new experiences instead of being locked into the same.
The fear and sadness associated with losing the SO are chiefly out of fear, learned and bred, that you might not be able to find someone else and are inferior to whomever won their affection.
It's only a problem if you view this as your last possible opportunity to find a woman who likes you.
Not even a proton is forever. When you lose someone it should always be seen as an opportunity to increase your experiences and quality of your life. Apply the lessons you learned in the previous relationship and find someone even better or more compatible.
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Yuuuuup. I was beat up over losing a hot 23 year old. Now I'm with a hot 20 year old. Abundance mentality is good because, well, women are abundant.
I subscribed to say: this post is a beautiful thing.
I always wonder at the guys freaking out here over "their" woman looking at another man. If you have been on the other side of the fence looking in, you will know of women who are in control, who have the possessive boyfriend but have done the end run around his Maginot line. In fact for some of them it's a thrill to beat the system. If you look at studies done with monkeys, the alpha who tries to keep the women in line will usually get beaten by one on the periphery who will have liasons with outsiders to the troop. The outsider is very attractive for good reasons: helps keep the gene pool fresh and injects a random element. Usually the outsider is someone who would take a pounding from the alpha if caught, and he's got to be smarter and smoother to pull this off. Those are good genetic properties that compliment sheer dominance.
My impression is that if you utterly don't care if "your" woman strays then they may do something to provoke your attention. If you care too much they're going to try to escape the prison you're trying to put them in. Same goes for men.
Like most things in life, being reasonable is the best approach. Confidence and basic concern without overdoing it will do far more to stop her from straying than either extreme.
Confidence that she won't stray helps her understand that her best interests are in not straying. Basic concern shows she's valued and appreciated and helps her understand that her best interests are in not straying.
Ultimately though she will do what she wants to do and probably you're not going to find out about it. So you have to live with that reality and be OK with it.
Anyway there's no point in trying to force someone to be with you who really doesn't want to be there. So you just do the right thing and hope for the best. If she strays, cut ties simply and cleanly with no drama and NEXT!
I think that it makes more sense when viewed from a marriage perspective, particularly when children are involved. In that situation, it makes a lot of sense that a man wouldn't want to risk being cucked, having his household crumble, having his reputation diminished, etc. There is an invested interest in ensuring that fidelity isn't compromised.
To take it further, I'd argue that most people, even those who are unmarried, essentially view relationships from a similar frame of reference, even if not considering the same, explicit consequences. Dating was an evolution of courting, and the expectation was that you date a few people and eventually find one to marry. Through norms, customs, indoctrination, or whatever you want to call it, this relationship model is/was the norm. While the norm seems to be changing, I believe most people still believe in at least the ideal of monogamy and marriage. So when a person is in an LTR, they are investing themselves into it with the idea that it may lead to marriage, which is why they have a he/she is mine mentality.
I get this aspect, I was more getting at the fact of hyper-insecurity about the attentions she may be giving to other men. The more insecure and freaked out you are about it, the more likely she is going to roam in the majority of cases I think. It seems to be to be obvious but so many men acting out hyper-insecurity and control tells me it's not that obvious.
Hyper-insecurity and controlling behavior gives her the signal that:
I understand you will easily find someone superior to me if you are given the opportunity to browse, so I am going to keep your loyalty by denying you the opportunity to browse.
That's an implicit admission of failure and women pick up on it.
Similarly if you don't care at all you're saying:
I don't value you at all, my attentions are as dependable as the wind, and I won't be there to shelter you or our offspring, so you should keep your options open and look for an opportunity for more security.
So a balance should be struck, for everyone's sake.
One girl I dated, when I asked her why she was so interested in arguing and pressing buttons, she said to me, "Don't you want to test before you buy?" What we get out of women is a combination of this subconsciously and consciously. They're testing the quality of your steel. A man needs to expect, anticipate and to some degree embrace this test. Not fully, but within some defined boundaries and every woman is going to steer a little to the left or the right in terms of what degree of possessiveness is going to strike that balance of confidence and concern that makes her feel that this is the right place to be in.
Although I totally agree, let me give you a friendly warning: this accout you used is now tainted.
People will probably look at your history and they'll downvote you on sight, if you ever post something even remotely controversial.
For proof, just look at my very recent history.
If something like that worries you (meaningless points on an internet comment site) then you have MUCH to learn from this sub. . .Might as well Re-read the sidebar a few times.
Think what you want, I'm not worried about points.
I think it would have been fair to warn him, in case he didn't know. Who knows, maybe his username is known in his group of IRL friends.
Now, he will be accused of misoginy, no matter what he says.
Edit: wording.
Female primates have been observed to provoke fighting amongst males during ovulation so they can better determine which is the fittest to mate with.
I've seen women do this as well. A common fantasy is to have two high value men fighting over you. This theme has played out many times in popular fiction. My ex was really into all those vampire shows and they all had love triangles with the woman having trouble deciding which one because she "loved" them both.
She went on to try and create this scenario for herself and it really fucked with me for awhile as she tried to come back 3 times. Eventually I wised up and cut the string.
I don't think she could help herself. I was the dominate alpha down on his luck but knew how to fuck her and he's the good on paper guy with way more social proof but is too subservient and nice. "He's way too into me" she said numerous times. Cooks for her, packs her lunch... "I'm like you in my new relationship", meaning she is the dominant one. I hope she's happy now, but I doubt it. And I really don't care anymore because I can do better.
The term you are looking for: violence by proxy
Every thing I could find about that had to do with parents using their children to harm the other.
I'm not sure how that correlates to my post about how women provoke men to fight over them. In the case of my ex, maybe if she was trying to use her new man as a means to hurt me, which she definitely did, then that could be a form of violence by proxy.
But it was more convoluted than that because I had been trying to separate from her for years and was always placated with sex, so in a way it was her validating herself by showing she was desirable. Seeing me in pain over it was definitely validation.
I don't think she had any idea how much it would hurt me by rubbing my face it. I actually came close to committing assault a few times in my rage. What a fucking drama all that was, I can't even begin to tell you. Never again.
Thats not how we use the term here. Its when women influence another man to commit acts of violence against another on her behalf for revenge or tingles & giggles. This is usually done in a plausible deniable manner
Thanks for clarifying.
I recently got the number of a woman I've been seeing around town for a few months now (HB8). She's incredibly warm and friendly, and a musician like me. I was hesitant at first because of the tattoos on her hands but her charm and flirtatiousness got the better of me, so I approached her to inquire about her music and feel her receptiveness. She offered me her number without me asking.
I always tell them I have others in my phone with the same first name and ask for a last name. Then I look them up on the internet. Turns out she's married to a hulk of a man who must be at least 6'5", a little fat but looks like he lifts and he's literally covered with tattoos. He looks like a mean fucker who could crush me with his pinky. I think he's a tattoo artist.
I didn't notice a ring on her finger, maybe it was a tattoo ring? Anyways, as much as I would like to play with her, this town is too small. And for all I know she could get off on Violence By Proxy and just be setting me up.
Not living in a big city attractive women are few and far between. It makes it difficult to cultivate abundance. I've been thinking about getting a CCW. I'm 6'1" and not small but I'm getting old. Fighting just isn't worth it because I make a living with my hands.
Jealousy is natural. Everyone feels it from time to time. Just remember that any act you commit out of jealousy will do nothing other than shorten your turn. Yes, there are times when you may be able to put a girl in her place and you make up and have wild sex. But don't be fooled, all she heard was that she can act out with no other repercussion than soothing your ego by throwing some pussy your way. Your frame has been irreparably broken. The only sensible action to take out of jealousy is to next her. If your not upset enough to get rid of her the best thing you can do is not give a shit and enjoy the ride while it lasts.
Jealousy is merely fear.
Fear that you won
t get what ispromised` to you.Fear that what you have is all you`ll ever get and that you might lose that.
fear that this bitch is wasting my time. basically if you start to feel jealous just soft next her and start looking for someone else, a good woman goes above and beyond to make you feel confident in her.
Jealousy isn't fear. It's desire of something you don't have. It's a possessive emotion.
Jealousy is rooted in our biology. It's an alarm system that you're about to be cucked and it's finely honed system. Best book on jealousy is by prof David Buss. His research found that if you are jealous of someone there is usually good reason. If you're really beta you're going to get jealous alot because there are many guys higher on the totem pole looking to drop loads in your lady.
In the context of the thread, jealousy is a feeling or showing of suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.
I disagree with your definition of jealousy. Envy would be a better word to describe your context of desiring something you don't have.
It boils down that almost all emotions are based on the root emotions of either fear or hope.
The base emotion of jealousy or envy is fear based. Fear of losing something or fear of not getting what you desire.
From some gay website:
You're right
It goes well beyond this. The myth is that men will not commit when the reality is that women just want to fuck around until nobody is fucking them anymore. At least, that has been my personal experience. Have a bit of genuine affection for them and THEY WILL PLATE YOU rather than the other way around.
To take it even further, I think that men actually tend to be more romantic than women, in fact if not gesture.
~"Men are romantics trying to be realists. Women are realists trying to be romantics" - /u/Rollo-Tomassi
If we're talking about average men and women:
Men are romantics
trying to be realists. Women are realists thinking they're romantics.Isn't there another quote to the effect of: Women pretend for sex to get love, and men pretend to love to get sex.
Women fake orgasms, men can fake relationships.
Well yeah. Who's the better writer, the one that enjoys the book or the one that puts in the thought and effort to write the damn book?
I guess it depends on where you live. In my Eastern European country, there still are women that take fidelity seriously.
And here in China, where I live. But is a very pervasive western phenomenon, wouldn't you say?
Pretty much. These women become rarer and rarer.
In Asian country, I can only say that woman become more open to promiscuity as they turn 18.
It's a sign of bad parenting and pervasive westernization in culture as well as peer pressure by friends who are already "doing it".
While majority of the Men I see are still Billy Boys swallowing the Blue Pill happily.
I've mentioned elsewhere that Hong Kong and Shanghai girls are more westernized and therefore more slutty. In second-tier cities the girls are more conservative and you won't find many - even in their 30s - who have a notch count over 3. The other thing is that the national divorce rate is about 4% but in Shanghai it is 35%, almost as bad as America.
I always feel that the more progressive a city is, the more promiscuity is out of control. There's too much alpha cocks around and "many others are doing it, so why not?" Is probably what they use to rationalize this thinking.
As the years go I just see them surfacing and "coming out" more as thou it's cool to be sluting around.
I'm not here to disagree with you since you live there but we're talking the same China where Dudes buy billboards just to advertise their wealth? I've also heard a quote "It's better to be a mistress than poor" in regards to the disproportionate male to female ratio.
Pay for play works a bit different here. I have not gone down that road explicitly. From what I have seen, most business men who make any sort of coin have a mistress.
i honestly dont see why TRP says that women value commitment. they evidently dont. women clearly have issues with monogamy, being faithful and in a relationship.
the limits have now been lifted on women, and now you can see LTRs are fucked from the start in todays society. men really dont have a problem loving and committing to their women.
How exactly do women value commitment when its so hard to keep them from the CC (even if you are alpha, thre are a line of alphas trying to fuck her).? female feral nature is simply the exact opposite of what a relationship and commitment involves
Women don't want commitment until their SMV falls to the point where they have few options and then must look for a BB boy.
Women want commitment from high SMV men. If you are attractive, especially when paired with material success, there is no shortage of women looking for commitment. Nonetheless, the act of firm commitment will lower a man's relative SMV (i.e. there must always be the consideration that other pussy is willing to lock a man down - soft 'dread').
However, SMV comparisons are relative. Ugly BB boy only becomes feasible when hers is trash. Most men these days don't even have higher relative income to bank on, let alone the attractive body and behaviors necessary for having satisfying sexual relationships.
I don't have a trim body or game or a high income but I have been sexually satisfied; I suppose I have gotten by on intelligence and charm. The women who wanted to commit to me were not the women I would commit to.
Otherwise, I think women have some unrealistic expectations. Only 5% of men actually make six-figures (and I am not one of them) but that is what a lot of women expect. If I did make $100k a year I would have locked down an acceptable woman a long time ago.
You have some serious issues to clear up here.
For starters, this is textbook betabux thinking: "I must make X amount to get an acceptable woman". Who's gaming who here? You're blasting your feet right off before even walking up to the starting line. Yes, you are aware that women will come at you with shit tests and all different sorts of hoops, but you are sabotaging yourself with crippling self-doubt and far too much seriousness as far as the "money question" goes. What you are implying is that you don't believe in yourself outside of how much you make, at least not enough to justify, in your eyes, the ability to get yourself "an acceptable woman". Stop denying yourself permission to break the rules - society's rules, no less!
A woman comes at you with the "money question", and you treat it just as you would someone literally sliding their hand into your pocket in search of your wallet. "Ha! You have some nerve, woman!" "Woah! My dick is here, not there..." What you are doing now is nervously awaiting the (dreaded!) question on how much you make with as much fear as a man suffering from small-penis syndrome has when it comes to sex ("Oh god! She's going to see my little dick! You need at least seven, and I only have 5 1/4! Oh Jesus!") No man. Just, fucking no. A girl asks how much you make, you say "$3.7 million last year - if sales go as planned, I should clear $20 mil this year. Why? Are you hungry? You need money?"
When you cower and hide and tremble at the thought of making less than $100K (why $100k btw? Why not $113k, or $137k? See the absurdity now?), you are allowing yourself to be gamed when it has to be the other way around!
And finally, "locking" a woman down? Dude, here, a glass of water, and swallow down the red pill completely. There is no "locking" a woman down. "She's never yours; it's only your turn". You need to loosen up. Only your health and family and (good) friends deserve such a degree of seriousness, not women.
What happens when a man and a woman plate each other simultaneously?
A covert relationship is born.
One without a title. Without labels.
Nope, power dynamics and uncontrolled life events will take over and one will clearly be 'the plate.'
Idk I've had long term fuck buddies who also get their own on the side. Easy fun sex for me and them when we want it. No strings or expectations.
Depends on each individuals relationship philosophy and/or whether they are manipulative or not.
If both share RedPill beliefs, whether consciously or subconsciously, and both are always raising their SMV then the covert relationship will continue indefinitely until an outside force/unforeseen event/unaccounted for change acts upon it.
This is the "I will be good to you as long as you are good to me" unspoken truth between both partners without "boyfriend/girlfriend" and/or social commitment signal status.
No, because men and women are hilariously identical.
You see, for men, their faithfulness depends on the individual guy and his circumstances.
And for women, their faithfulness depends on the individual guy and his circumstances.
I understand where you are coming from.
In my head I have decided that real commitment and real relationships with the status symbol only exist for the purposes of starting a family, as in if you do not see yourself starting a family with a woman you DO NOT give commitment AT ALL.
The other side of the coin to accompany your point is:
For men, their access to sex is dependant upon woman and her circumstances
For women, her access to sex is dependant upon herself and her own circumstances
In nature.
A relationship (a real one) is where both parties actively fight against their natures, to reach a compromise together, in order to raise a family. If it's for any other reason, then the man is lowing power and wasting his time, and the woman is gaining power - eating her cake and having it too.
This genuinely made me spit out my water from laughing. Well said.
This. Show weakness once and it is NEVER forgotten. Even just a god-damned headache. Show it often or deeply, even if it's for her, and she's gone.
This. Oscar Wilde said it best: "“I am afraid that woman appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else."
To add a small note for the younger guys that go through a breakup and aren't sure whats about to happen next, and think their girls are at home crying over them (and they might actually still cry)..
Every single girl Ive dated in my 15+ years of dating has fucked another guy within 2 weeks. I want to say 1 week, but maybe thats an exageration slightly. But 2 weeks I can comfortably say and know its correct. Every single one. The nice asian girl with a great job still living at home? 5 days. The hot blonde 21 year old? 3 days. I could give 10 more examples.
And it's always been someone they knew.
I agree, and have my own examples. It seems what they do it to get over and back at you at the same time. It is shown that women get over relationships much easier and it is largely due to this abundance they have.
-Most men will happily lay an attached chick or a promiscuous woman
-There is no longer fear of being excommunicated or socially rebuffed within the community or their family...
-Because it's not that bad of a decision anymore. Birth control means no pregnancy. She can have the guy wear a condom, and most STDs respond to anti-biotics.
-And even if she gets pregnant, there's always Plan B, or the abortion pill, or abortion: all of which are more or less safe and private
Granted, a couple whores I know that had abortions and lots of sex are now infertile or damn-near it. But for the most part whoring is safe, after her ride on the CC she just settles down with a blissfully unaware beta bucks, has her kids (with him or with a similar-looking Chad), and either divorce-rapes him or browbeats him for the rest of her life.
I work at a bar, and the number of times girls have come in saying that their boyfriend /fiancé just broke up with them that day, followed by them telling me im cute and asking my name has happened so many times I stopped counting.
Either you're a pushover or you have really shitty luck.
Relationships die out, they just fucking do. But they should last longer than a couple weeks. Sounds like they quickly realized you are not "it."
Lol. I meant they fuck another guy 2 weeks after our breakup. If you read the first sentence you'd realize thats what I meant.
You might be a logical thinker per your username, but reading comprehension is important too.
Can confirm. Told my ex I wanted a divorce. First night she was a ball of mush sobbing her eyes out, nice show you put on honey. Next night, distant cold, expected. Next morning I accidentally grab her phone (we had just switched to iPhones and they were literally the same thing with no passwords on them.) Opened it up and it was still in the texts. Turns out she had been texting "just a friend" from our gym pictures of her tits and saying shit about how he could fuck her better than I did etc. literally less than 48 hours and she was already trying to move on to the next.
No skin off my teeth as I used this time to put money where I wanted it and do all the things I needed to so I could be prepared.
Man I love reading these types of posts. My biggest weakness is having pseudo-oneitis fairly frequently. Reading these posts and seeing reassurance like this helps; for some reason having options just isn't enough to break sometimes.
Options must be viewed through the lens of a proper mindset.
And posts like these help develop that mindset, so thank you.
There is an instinctual revulsion to the idea of the Cock Carousel™ as the default and eternal condition for women.
However:
That's good advice.
You must set the rules. You should inform her what your rules will be. She has a choice in her behavior and has the ability to choose something that is a deal breaker for you.
So don't worry about it.
If you Game her successfully she will feel an inequality that makes her sense your distancing yourself through masculine polarity. The more she senses that her access to you is restricted the more attracted she is to you.
Limiting access... it's tingle worthy.
Frame limits access.
Women are the ones who are penetrated, so they have no concept of Frame and it makes no sense at all in the way feminine polarity functions. (in fact limited access to males drives them nuts)
I no longer believe in LTRs. When I did and was in one, when I did any "checking up" it was more that the idea of her doing something behind my back and getting away with it made me angry. I just wanted the truth.
I think wanting to know the truth so you can dump a chick is a different dynamic than trying to prevent her from doing what she wants to do and will do eventually.
Edit: However, if you are in a LTR and the girl gives you legitimate reason to believe you should check on her, then even if she isn't cheating you should leave the relationship.
this is pretty true, women omit the shit out of details, you have to grill the fuck out of her for every piece of information. i'm starting to agree that if you're feeling jealous for whatever reason, whether she's fucking around or not, just next her, not worth it in the end and she clearly doesn't care or value you enough to not cause these feelings in you.
There's (at least) two parts to consider.... 1) if she did something to trigger the feelings, she may not have been aware. So it's reasonable to address the situation and address the feelings in yourself. Thus, act reasonably to understand the situation. 2) she intentionally did something, it triggers the feelings and you accept this is her nature and then drop her becuase you don't need that shit in your life. Manipulation can prevent the true discovery of #2 and give the appearance of #1. My experience has been, the more partners, the greater the manipulation.
Better mindset: don't mate-guard. Assume AWALT. Don't over invest.
a woman will never admit that she's trying to fuck with you, not even when it's the most blatant obvious shit on the planet. did you mean higher n count the more they manipulate? i agree with that. truth be told there's very few attractive women that hasn't already racked up a high count by her early mid 20s, or even unattractive ones for that matter, at least in america. in my experience when you bring something up they just start bullshit, like the moment you show your hand that your frame isn't rock solid, the shit starts flying. every time i'm like holy shit, this woman in a 2 week span went from being a unicorn princess to a fucking cunt, and it makes me sick every time.
Yes, I did mean "more partners" = "higher n count".... The higher the n count, the greater the manipulation (either overtly or covertly). As you've said, they initially come across as the woman they want to be, but it doesn't take long before you discover why they've been dumped so many times. Then you understand why they were single when you got to them.
Case in point: Last GF came across as a sweet, Eastern European unicorn that everyone raves about. Great shape, healthy eating habits, likes to be outdoors, etc. Took a while to find out why she was single. Worse part was that I could never be right. I was only slighty better than the worst she's had but never better than the best she's had. Constant shit tests too. Became a fucking nightmare. Finally walked away. Since then I've met better women. Funny enough, the nicer ones have a lower (and reasonable) n count. Now it makes much more sense why sometimes it's said that some women have only one purpose.
My last one is the definition of lifelong plate. Just good enough to fwb, but just a bit too much headcase to commit to. Victim mentality prevents the learning of lessons and becoming worth more than a plate.
No you're rationalizing. You were jealous. It's natural.
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Beware how much they value you. If they value you enough, they will not be fully honest with you at all, at least not the way you want them to be, especially in the case of an LTR. They care about their image to you so they will protect that. It takes priority over the ideal "honesty" you desire from a woman.
Caurosel posts should be mandatory reminders every day/week. Once you understand you're the horse with the pole coming out of it, everything clears up instantly.
Focus on yourself boys, really make that pony shine until you have enough control that you get to buck them off when you're done.
Economics 101. Buy or Lease decisions are based on a combination of whether or not an asset appreciates in value and the cost of ownership.
Assets that depreciate over time and have high cost of ownership should be leased. Relationships with women fall into this category. Not only does the underlying asset, a woman's SMV, lose value over time, but the strength of her attraction is also likely to decrease and the emotional and financial cost of long term ownership is high.
A relationship should be like a month to month lease. If it's working, renew into the next month. If not, walk away without consequences and find a better deal.
Guys that stress over relationships are trying to enforce long term contracts that are bad deals to begin with.
If it floats, flies, or fucks rent don't buy
"Vaginal affection" sounds like something a serial killer would mumble about when he's asked why he stabbed three people in the Walmart checkout line.
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When you say "this one", do you mean the post or my response?
Be the romantic. Go travel with her. Enjoy the time with her(Or be an emotionless, aloof, sex only kind of guy. No problem there.)
Just don't be overly invested. Remember the importance of stoicism, and that it's just your turn.
I really like Redpope's dirty sheets, because he enjoys monogamous LTRs(around ~6 months). BUT, when its over, its over. He doesn't dwell on it, and he moves on. He's happy for the good times and the experiences, but he knows there's a new girl waiting to meet him.
When your turn is over, the carousel is spinning in your favor as well.
Nice write-up.
On the flip side we high SMV guys are also "public domain".
Rest assured no matter what your relationship status is, women will pursue you.
Don't expect loyalty, and for damn sure you'd better not promise it either.
It is the height of male hamstring to rationalize "infidelity" as a bad thing.
Not only is it on our nature to fuck multiple women, females instinctually demand it of us. If you're worth fucking her, you're worth fucking the entire city's worth of women. A man promising himself to one woman is like an athlete promising himself to visit only one nightclub for the rest of his life.
Act like it and jettison the antiquated notion of "exclusivity".
There is still room for short term exclusivity I feel but situations are often rare and typically require a very specific set of green flags. Nothing wrong with maintaining a multi year relationship, however once one of you tires from the other you need to end it. There is no sunk cost in relationships, this is a fallacy which classic exclusivity hamstering often relies on.
This is so so true, and so under-acknowledged by the general public. So many times I've heard something to the effect of "We've been together so long, it's worth it to try to fix things and make it work
even though the relationship has gone to shit."Do not fall into this fallacy! Relationships are fluid, like life in general. When the fire dies, start a new fire, don't desperately try to stoke stone cold embers.
the sunken cost is some of us had the goal of a quality ltr rather than spending our 20s and 30s chasing sluts. as for women the sunken cost is their smv goes down and down for every year they wasted with the wrong guy.
THIS. ABOUT TIME I HEAR THIS. I am sick of men being judged on here for cheating and not honestly up front letting "their girl" knowing they still intend on spinning plates. why should i be loyal if i cant expect it and they will cheat without remorse? why should i deny my instinct to want to fuck multiple women when she wont deny her instinct to branch swing on my ass the min brad pit comes along?
If its a given she'll cheat if ryan gossling comes along, i dont see why I should deny myself the pleasure of a novel HB6 when i want a change from my usual HB8
infidelity is awesome for the gene pool. Mixes things up and lets women sniff out the fittest male for reproducing. If she can't get that male to provide safety for the offspring, it doesn't matter if she can get another male to fill that role while thinking that its his offspring.
Thus the better genes sniffed out by women get spread far and wide, past the ability of the seeder to protect his children. The children get protected by males of inferior genetic heritage who also at the same time get denied opportunities to have offspring without realizing it. +1 for strong genes and -1 for weak genes at the same time. Promotes the best, culls the weakest with one shot.
Infidelity is exciting to men and women both for a good reason. It's a win for the gene pool. If it was a lose for the gene pool it would be an occasional genetic experiment that would get constantly pruned.
Far too many people cheat for it to just be an ongoing experiment that keeps on failing. It's a successful strategy to breed better for a species.
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yea the repeated failing civilizations, def win win on the genetic scale
and absolute hell for civilization. Them's the breaks.
but taking that to its "logical" conclusion creates a world full of "alphas" who possesses no resources to care for their young.
word
marital and relationship fidelity and exclusivity is forced separation from being with one with all that is, and the elevation of your temporal form and hers into a new but isolated form that arrogantly presumes to be above the essence and pure connection of Being, and this inevitably causes pain and suffering, because a relationship is rooted in time, bound by form, and enforced by separation and isolation.
surrendering to connection that is genuine, authentic, unconditionally accepting, and immersed fully in the continuous present moment (only with attractive girls that you selected based on your own standards) with the fullest attention, without reservation, expectation, and resistance, with all sorts of girls is free and natural, thus it causes the purest love and joy (if you were to describe the OP in terms of Eckhart Tolle's books)
Same principle behind internships and at will employment. If she has promise, you give her an internship. Let her prove her worth, give no money and minimal time / commitment, and see what she can do. If she surprises you, she gets the job, she's a steady plate. If you really think she's exceptional and you've done a good background check, you can promote her. LTR if you really must.
But it's at-will employment. She can be fired for any reason, at any time, with no prior notice. Every employee should be replaceable; if you cannot replace an employee and they figure it out, they will become a thorn in your side.
... be prepared that she may terminate her role without notice. 2 weeks notice is a professional guideline that doesn't get the same respect in relationships.
Don't waste emotional energy worrying about something you have no control over.
Read this again Beta boys.
Nothing is more irritating to a girl than indifference. They want you to blow up on them because a high-emotional argument helps to justify in their head that cheating was ok. "look at him yelling and getting so angry, what an asshole! I don't need him anyway! I'm glad i cheated!" A simple, "goodbye," not said passive aggressively or angrily, just with a normal calmness and finality, will drive her absolutely insane. Nobody wants to be completely irrelevant to someone.
It is imperative that this be taken into extreme consideration. This is ultimately out of your control. Like he said, "enjoy the ride". This shit reminds me of the way I acted in past LTRs. Hate the realization but it's needed.
God help the men that think marriages will stop this. That piece of metal, that sheet of paper you signed, and those fake ass vows she wrote will make it 100x more painful when they finally wake up, if ever.
What a pleasant read. Needed this reminder.
Thank you.
Okay men of red pill. Now that you have read this nicely compacted tapestry of truth. When you're next girl becomes your LTR. That moment when she tells you that you are the only one. That she's a good girl, always loyal, wouldn't lie to you, needs no attention from other men etc.
Understand in that moment that she's lying.
You owe her nothing. You are free to do as you wish. In and outside of the relationship.
She's not necessarily lying, she really believes it just like when she was 14 and Brad was the one and only one 4evah and forever . That's just how women thin-... feel. :)
Yes in that moment she's telling the truth. Not about her past and character though, those things are lies. Women are also very much aware of their flaky idea of a relationship.
They know fully well that the relationship will be dead when the feelings are over. You however are expected to stay eternally even if she turns into a fat whale.
And women in groups hamster this up.
I broke up with a girl because she withdrew from me strongly and suddenly. She blamed it on some stress in life, but it did not change after the stressful thing ended.
She forwarded emails from her friends where they basically faulted me for thinking of my own feelings and not putting her first always. However, if they shoe had been on the other foot, I know damn well that they would've said something to her like "don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself".
Yeah had that trick used on me to. Don't fall for that. That's simply an excuse to misbehave. Women need the man to uphold the relationship for their game to work. When a guy becomes aware and throws those ideals away. That's the moment when they freak out and start sucking your cock.
Women often believe what they're saying with conviction, in that moment.
I love you (right now).
There's nobody else I'd rather be with (right now).
so you're free to cheat on her even though she hasn't cheated on you, because you she will cheat on you sometime in the future? And even if she wasn't planning to cheat on you, she might as well do it, since she knows that you are sure that she will, right?
Yes. Although I wouldn't be sharing such thoughts with my LTR.
I say never put yourself in a position to be able to cheat. Just tell her up front that you can leave at any time and so can she. You have plenty of options. This advertisment that you may walk at any time throws her into an insecure loop where SHE is the one committing and sacrificing all of the power in the relationship. At that point she's afraid to cheat because she knows you have nothing to lose so there is no hope of retaining you. Lack of commitment fucks with a girls head and makes them pretty loyal.
Cheating is hard to prevent. You could deploy all the dread and game you want but if the time is just right- she will. Men would to by the way, they simply aren't tempted to such a degree. I see allot of men make this mistake. They still hope for the relationship ideal like before their unplugging. All that changed is their approach.
What makes this problematic is that although they changed, women have not. Girls simply don't regard men in the same way we do them. There are hundred of reasons and scenarios that could make a woman turn. Regardless of her feelings for you, because you won't be there all the time.
Yep. You shouldn't care if they cheat. You can have another tomorrow. Abundance mentality. The glass is already broken.
I'm just saying that the above mentality makes you more desirable and ironically, the less you care the less they cheat.
The proper response to "I could have another man tonight if I wanted" is to support her in getting another man. Show her the door and watch the immediate 180 she does to become the most doting, subservient girl in the world.
Mini FR:
At my work, I went on day trips with various co-workers at first. One was a 24 year old HB5 that married her college sweetheart and they recently had their first child. She is very down to earth and traditional, raised going to church and in a semi-rural area.
We were in an area of the state where I have a cabin in the woods. With plausible deniability, of course, she basically propositioned me for sex in my cabin one day.
I declined so I would not lose my job or ruin her family. My mind was blown though. Because I did not expect this from her, especially during work hours.
It was just basic hypergamy, I guess. Her husband is short and thin and tries to grow a beard when he cannot.
This doesn't surprise me one bit. You we're new and higher SMV than her hubby (who else would marry an HB5?) and you had a cabin. It's often the uglier ones that end up cheating the most. She cares only about herself and this was a nice little adventure. No consideration for her man or her family, she deserved this weekend of hard fucking.
It confirmed some TRP truths. I was new to lifting and the TRP at that time. I decided to not hold myself back around folks, within reason, and be as confident and funny as possible. And always assume a leadership role within reason. Just turn my attractive traits up as high as I could. And I started, within reason, teasing women in a playful, but nonsexual, way.
Shit worked like a MFer. She was a bit of an experiment. And when she was bright red/flushed in the face, flipping her hair, and squirming (like subtly grinding her groin around in the passenger seat) as we approached the road that turns off to my cabin and she smiled awkwardly and pointed and said "your cabin is just right down there, right? we probably have some time to go check it out."
My mind = blown.
Think of it like this. From their perspective they are watching their own life's movie. All the other actors aren't really "real" and she's just watching her character act out this script- basically breaking the 4th wall.
Everything her character does is "a-okay". The only feelings that matter are hers because other people are just objects in her mind. And thus have no real feelings anyhow.
She was just watching the cabin scene and wondering what would happen. Would you take her inside? Would you not? If you would, would you bang her?
"This scene is so exciting hihi!"
Should her husband find out then it wouldn't be her fault anyway. The writers of the script did it! She was just an innocent bystander.
I often find myself thinking that when I get tracted into an argument and I refuse to be emotionally baited by being calm. Its almost as if many blue pill people are acting out movie or TV scenes in their lives and have no idea how to be themselves.
Never invest financially either.
Don't pay for anything. Don't let her stay in your house period but if you do, don't let her stay rent free.
I don't get guys who think having a stay at home wife is viable in this day and age. "It's just your turn", and she can kick you out on your ass anytime, and take your $ by force with help from the long hard white knight dick of the law.
There's just no scenario where sharing your money with a woman is a good idea. Unless you're skipping the whole dating song and dance and directly paying her for sex.
Never share money. Fuck no. But paying for things I find to be okay. I use it as a reward. You make yourself always sexually available to me and pleasant to be around, and I might take you out to a nice dinner, or drinks, or by you a gift. In that order. If you ever demand finances then you don't get them. It's a reward, not a salary. And if you are ever starting to be more expensive than a hooker, well fuck that.
Beta bux is dishing out a salary to the woman in hopes of maintaining a sexual relationship. As long as it doesnt sink to that level, it's okay to reward financially. Hell, normally the chick I'm fucking is too broke to buy her own drinks anyway, so if I want drinks with her I HAVE to buy.
Great read for someone trying to dive deeper into TRP.
An excellent and timely article.
The claimed number of plates spinning and abundance mentality achieved doesn't always match up with the level of mateguarding and insecurity that comes up sometimes.
"It's just your turn" is a bitter but critical ingredient to The Red Pill.
The fucked up thing is bro, really wish i had knew this before i fell in love ( i'm sure most of us as well ) but as you said it's scarcity mindset, go find another girl.
good post.
depressing.. but true.
Finally good to see a decent post here at TRP, quality has been slipping like a motherfucker recently. The problem is many guys will not truly acknowledge this truth until they experience it. Even after I swallowed and internalized the Red Pill I did not truly 100% get this fact until one of my earlier plates gave me a clap scare and told me about the other guy. She's basically using me for sex, and even if I was available she just wanted another guy, one she admitted was not as good looking or good in bed as me. Women just want different guys, and nowadays many are skanky enough and backed by feminists cheering them on to go ahead and just have multiple men to fuck. It's sad, it's fucked up, but it's the truth. If you are not a true MGTOW then the sooner you deal with it and start treating all women like the whores they are until proven otherwise the sooner your life will improve massively.
So you're angry that the plate you were spinning was spinning plates too? What did you expect? That you'll treat her as a plate and she'd just loyally wait for you?
Women want lots of sex and I have enough libido to handle four women (proven now) yet women don't want lots of sex from just one guy anymore. I'd be happy with monogamy, it cuts out risks of STD's and has other benefits as well. Most of us only spin plates because the vast majority of western women are not LTR material, it's an adaptation not a goal. That is why so many men have to come here and learn these things, lots of men want to make a stable nuclear family. Others do spin plates as a goal, not an adaptation. That is their brand of alpha and nothing wrong with it.
Well, I am quite monogamous and I don't see why my gf of 3 years should be any different. She wants a lot of sex just from me and has high libido. But putting that aside..
Sometimes on forums I stumble on topics created by women whose partners (in shorter or longer relationships, doesnt matter) stopped sleeping with them,or are doing it very rarely despite their efforts and patience. Those women often stay in the relationship, because they want to do it just with that one guy, they dont want to cheat on him (some do, but out of desperation, being sexless and ignored for months, or even years). Mind you, those are attractive women, getting propositions from men and looks on the street (and I dont think they have any business lying - as they are usually looking for any help or advice on such forums, and often have done anything they could think about to receive their man's interest again). So, what would you say about them?
Never met one, and those women on forums fail to often mention they have backup plans. Trickle truths come out most of the time you see posts on Two-X or other places women congregate to chatter about romance, when the others ask specifics about her situation the more you can tell she fucked up and is trying to hamster it away. Always. Worth repeating: Always. An attractive woman with a less attractive guy that doesn't fuck them? Doesn't happen.
So you're denying the part of reality that's not in accordance with your paradigm. Also I didn't say how attractive those guys are, as I don't know that. I just know women were going to great lengths to stay with them.
Thanks for the link to RedPope, both posts are great RP lessons. One thing I noticed reading 200 of the 400 comments on RedPopes post was the intelligent discourse. That post was less than a year ago when the sub had 120k users and there was very little if any comments along the lines of "you're a beta faggot", "you're just a cuck loser", or any of the simpleton personal attacks we see on this sub lately. Nothing to be done about it, just an observation.
(Great post, BTW!)
I've got used to this and started to know myself better. You WILL feel jealous if you like her and you should only be with her if you like her. It's just that you must be in control of your own mind: enforce neural patterns that helped you review her realistically (until that becomes automatic), seek other women you like (have options), be always prepared for a swift exit.
Carry your relationship with this thought: if I find her riding another man, texting him, or even eyeing him up, would I be able to leave her on spot? If not, that's a state to achieve immediately!
I just keeping reminding myself that I'm not hers either, its just her turn.
Guys on here want to act like its only girls that do this shit. They dont, they just have a way easier time doing it. But honestly, if you had 100's of hot woman at your finger tips, all willing to drop their knickers with a single text, how loyal would you stay?
if she added the kind of quality to my life that i add to hers, i'd stay. quality>quantity, but the overall quality of women has taken a serious nosedive.
I want to put forward a hypothetical scenario, inspired by this post. Please comment as per TRP ideology.
Suppose a young full blooded male follows TRP rules, is a proper alpha male, and as a result, gets action with hot women. He is naturally/biologically inclined to bed as many hot women as possible, because that's what a chad does. He has read multiple stories like this post and knows a lot of true AWALT incidents. So, believes he doesn't want relationships, he'll just keep boning hot women.
Suppose a woman meets a guy like that who bones her. Then he moves on. To her, he is the hot guy spinning his carousel while she got left after her time was up. She has known many stories like hers, especially when the males were TRP alphas. Naturally she comes to believe that AMALT, so she believes in having fun and moving on too, to protect herself.
So what came first, the chicken or the egg? And speaking of egg, from the posts I read here, only blue pill males create families!? Isn't that regressive for TRP if no TRP ideology or genes are passed down generations?
alpha males get other men to take care of their kids for them. those kids usually become dysfunctional but they don't think that far ahead. at the end of the day the egg came first, the women decide what kind of men are attractive and procreate. as more men become red pill there's gonna be less commitment and less beta all around, women are getting exactly what they want, a bunch of alpha males who don't give a fuck. unfortunately they didn't think things through because their entire lives of luxury was being funded on the backs of beta men.
but yes this is another way of depopulating the world and ensuring that the weak and stupid are the ones to populate the planet. men like you or me will either have few or no kids because we know better, blue pills will raise weak men, regardless of the childrens genetic lineage.
My idea is simple:
I disagree on TRP theory on one thing: Creating a family and sustaining it is the most alpha thing you can do. A new generation in the likeness of you and the partner you have chosen, who look up to you for nurture and provisions. Being lone wolf is great in your 20s to 40s, but being a single womanizer in your 60s to 70s trying to get a woman in her 20s is just creepy.
Instead of OP's suggestion, do the opposite, assume every woman you meet is at least a faithful woman, if not a RPW unless they raise red flags and prove you otherwise during your interactions. On that assumption of trust, know that an "unbroken glass" woman as OP would say is hard but not impossible to find. When you find a real classy woman, sign a pre-nup and make a family and enjoy your rights and responsibilities as the head of the family.
except that every woman I meet I can see the flags before even the first conversation. you can see what kind of person they are by just looking into their eyes, or watching their posture and body language, how they carry themselves. i'm a fan of benefit of the doubt but people very rarely disappoint, or rather don't disappoint.
its only alpha to have a functional and well structured family with a quality woman. it's pretty fucking omega to be some used woman's beta bux.
Obviously a slut is not worth your time.
You're looking for the wrong women in the wrong places. There are good ones, but they are few.
They are a scarcity no matter how you play your abundance game(don't stop playing). TRP isn't about hating women. And it isn't about being a loner until you're dead. Its about accepting truths and minimising heartache and hardships by making logical choices about your emotions and finances with your head instead of your "heart"(this doesn't exist, its a pump).
There are just as many blue pill guys who are playing without relationships, who are sluts and not too bright. Who will settle into a blue pill role easily when they find someone who only wants them.
There are red pill, honourable women too. They are far harder to win into a relationship, as they don't want a blue pill guy either( and they know what that looks like) and will not easily betray you. You just haven't met them yet, or you move in the wrong circles. Tip: they don't frequent bars or clubs, and their families are good people, not a broken home. I haven't met many either that I could say are really intelligent and exceptional.
What are the right women then and Where should I look for them?
Trying to get them to fuck you when you are old is creepy. But fucking them isn't. As you get older, richer and more powerful and maintain your alpha characteristics, trust me, there is no try. They throw themselves at you. Any 60 year old that is trying to fuck 20 something's is a failed beta.
Sure, I see what you mean that as a man grows older, he only becomes wiser, richer and more confident. But, I dunno, maybe you're talking about the early 60s where you're still in touch with the current generation, have your health going for you, have vitality to spend your wealth and enjoy your health....there's also the late 60s and early 70s where you face potential health issues, you realize the pointlessness of some of the things young people do and don't even talk in the same way the current generation does. You're probably also looking for more in your interaction with women since you've been there, done that- spent your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s in fucking different women. More over, as the fact of your mortality sets upon you, a guy may feel the need for love and family during the final time, a guy may feel the need to have children that he can pass on his legacy, experience, wealth and family name to.
Why do stupid people always have more kids? Why do elections get decided on majority vote? Why do most people never attain a masters degree? Think about it. The strong and smart are always few, the weak and stupid always many.
That's cool if that's what they want to do, but it doesn't fit their imperative or maximizes their benefits. Going blow for blow with men won't do much for them, except destroy their pair bonding and desirability. Very crucial to her SMV. They can try though. Need a good laugh.
I spoke for both scenarios -
Case 1. She "settles" for a beta male who can provide her stuff. In which case children if any, are either raised without fathers or in a beta environment.
Case 2. She keeps spinning alphas (because she can't resist chad), in which case either she is single and goes through all alphas or she is in a relationship with a beta and cheats. Again children if any, would be raised without a father.
So conclusion is the same, men don't trust women, women don't trust men, and because of it, there is no new generation of children raised in an alpha male environment.
Case 1: There are still RP men that still want to have children.They're more reluctant to do because no one wants to deal with the bullshit laws that come with it and the power that it gives women, as vindictive and fickle as they are. Even if a woman somehow gets married to an "alpha", hypergamy still doesn't give a shit. And at any moment, she is able to take the kids away from him on a whim. It's almost like the government put the power of the family structure in the hands of a ticking time bomb based on her day by day feelings. So if she has more power than the men who have kids with her, then you will see why these kids are getting caught in the crossfire. They are (subconsciously) not happy with the power the government gives them over their own families, but yet they use it to destroy.
Case 2: I don't think any women can spin continuous "alphas" . If that was the case, the alpha widow definition would have to be completely revamped and the 80/20 rule would be a very different rule. They can have orbiters, which they have anyway. They can even fuck them. Whenever she chooses to cheat on her "beta" is her choice, not her misfortune.
Both things you've listed seems to take away their accountability for the choices they make. They can choose to be faithful and keep the family in tact, but they often choose to risk it instead because of "feeelzz".
you sound like a feminist or a woman fuckin around in a place you should not be
I'm a male. I agree to most of the ideas of TRP - self growth, dominating the woman, not being a emo beta. But I disagree with some ideas of TRP and therefore question them, opening a dialogue.
P.S: call me a cock sucker, a woman, a softy whatever you like but have the respect towards another male to not call me a feminist.
The post is golden. I suggest we add it to the next edition of TRP handbook. Thanks!
You wrote the very post I was going to write, but more eloquently I suspect. Respect OP. I think this reminder of these theories come at the perfect time for the newest influx of subscribers.
With a small group of trusted friends I've explained that very quote from Achaan Cha. They can't wrap their head around it. They can't understand that I value something for as long as it lasts, but afterwards I let it go. Not wanting revenge, no longing for that attachment, etc.
Not everyone can adopt these mindsets mind you, without really changing the way they think. One friend even said that I must be broken. I couldn't help but laugh, as he wasn't listening. He focused on the letting go of attachment idea more than allowing something to improve your life - it's just as you stated, nothing lasts forever. I truly do cherish something when it improves or enriches my life for as long as it is there, but once it's gone I'm not going to be upset. I'm not saying everyone must give up all of their possessions and move to a monastery but adopting Buddhist mindsets can help you through tough choices. This is true with most things in my life, in many ways I've been like this for a very long time. It's a balance, but it's not that I lack the ability to care.
I am in touch with humanity. /PatrickBateman
Digesting the red pill requires a complete overhaul of your current programming and a constant battle against those who wish to keep you plugged-in. The transistion really sucks. Took me over two years to truly internalize the pill.
But it all starts with the desire to change, often accompanied by necessity. Most people have their eyes open, but they dont see. Their ears are open but they arent listening. Until they're willing to take in a new persepctive and give it a try, you can't help them. Work on yourself and set the example, eventually someone will come out of the woodwork or an oppurtunity will present itself. Lend a hand if you wish. You can only control yourself.
Oh good timing this... Last night I finally nailed this HB9 I've known and craved for years. We're both recently single and we've both been ready for this encounter for a very long time. Cut to the chase, this morning as I high five myself I need to remember the OPs message as I could easily envision the oneitis monster bearing down on me while my back is turned with this one.
It's just my turn.
But I'm going to enjoy it. Thanks for the reminder.
This is a great post. You did a great job explaining everything.
Mandatory comment: Enjoy the decline.
This is probably one of my favorite posts on this subreddit - very well written. I think "holding on loosely" is a frame of mind that requires effort to master- at least it does for me.
On one end, holding on to tight is what has always gotten me hurt or caused blue pill behaviors. But if I get too stoic, the relationship or time with the girl just seems so black and white / void of something.
The idea of enjoying a woman to the fullest while also accepting the fact that one of these days she'll wake up and put someone else's dong in her mouth.... well it's difficult to grasp. For me, it always helps to:
remember to enjoy the ride, not the girl. (kinda like how vacations are still awesome right?, even though we know before we leave that eventually they are going to be short and come to an end)
remember how circumstantial any relationship is. Fuck destiny, you'll die getting to know less than 1% of the world's entire population- and most likely 0% of the population outside of your city/state/immediate network. If you had been born even one state over, the woman next to you would mean absolutely nothing to you.
Even forever only means 30-50 years. I mean, supposing that somehow you find a girl where the carousel doesn't spin, and you never have to hop off. Even then the ride is going to shutdown indefinitely when one or both of you die. Like really, the fantasy of being together "forever" doesn't have much meaning given our mortality.
You do not feel jealous when you lose „your” woman without other male being in the picture. She may die and you will be sad, never jealous.
You feel jealous because of the fear that you can lose her to Someone Else. How do you feel about Yourself is what makes you feel jealous.
Feeling so (let alone spying on her, being angry with her subconsciously etc.) is the way to avoid to see YOUR deficiencies.
The degree of your self-doubt is the degree of your jealousy. You can play around with that feeling and take a bath in it regulalry for lives. No one is compelled to see through it, you are free. As everyone is, including your woman. By the way, have you ever wondered how much you do not love your „beloved” being jealous with her?
It has NOTHING to do with her. Period.
NO ONE IS ABOVE THE PROCESS
Sidebar please this was very well done and helpful to me. This gives me calm and peace.
Snooping on LTRs helps though...in collecting proofs if the court steps in.
Thanks for this post. I needed this.
This post is something that has been stated several times on here before, but I needed to hear it again today. Thanks.
So hold on loosely but don't let go. If you cling too tightly you're gonna lose control.
As I was internalizing TRP and still in the anger phase, I would play this music at times and laugh it away: https://youtu.be/CVvS61sQyL8
Amazing post. I've been struggling with this lately. It put a lot into perspective. Thanks.
Very well written post and a lot to think about.
Plate, one night stand are fine, but don't clump LTR into there. You don't LTR used goods; other than that, you're right within the context of a hypergamous society.
I think it angers men because to us if we fail at keeping her fidelity, we feel as if we are the one's at fault and not the hamster. You can most definitely fuck up a relationship and shes gone but understand that you can do any and everything right to her for her but the line still has to keep moving. Excellent post OP.
It's better to know earlier when your turn ended and it's time to find another carousel.
I like this. I've had a ton of relationships and know this to be true. Life is fickle and times can change on a dime. Savor the good times, learn from the bad, and know that good times will come again.
OP, I am asking your permission to link to this very post anytime I hear someone say something about TRP being "awful" or comparing it to Nazism and saying that it's the bane of their existence. Because this post is GOLD and I believe everyone should read it, men or women.
As long as you cite my name, go nuts.
Thanks for your post. A girl I'm fucking right now but haven't committed to (yet) is studying with one of her beta orbiters today. This guy buys her and her friends flowers, fixes things around her apartment for her, etc.
Even though we're not in a committed relationship, I am considering her for an LTR but if she does anything with that guy (in a "break glass for dick" scenario), she's automatically disqualified. Your post made me remember that I shouldn't be thinking about it because even if she does end up being LTR material, she's still not mine, just my turn. I feel way better now.
This is true equality and the correct way to approach life. Worry about yourself first so that you may enjoy your life and fulfill your mission. This will enable you to help others if you wish to do so. Do not be angry at the inevitable.
A timeless mantra which, in theory, does not distinguish between males and females.
internalizing this concept can save lives
I agree with this very much.... though I wouldn't exactly call it "Now it's your turn", because she may decide that she isn't going take turns with men, like you said, women are fickle. I think though you have summed it pretty well, great post!
This is a powerful statement that every man needs to remember...."You do not own her. You do not have control over her feelings. Her feelings will change over time and she has every right to change her mind as she sees fit, just like you."
Women single-handedly ruined western society, giving them any sort of freedom is a mistake.
God reading this is so true but makes me feel so sick imagining someone else fuck my ex.
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Only because after a certain age, they cannot risk a man leaving, because their ability to just find another has dropped.
...and quality men won't be the last horse on the carousel.
Oh hell no. My last LTR (46 yrs old) performed miracles and magic to transform herself into a HB9+ from a HB7 in just a few short months as she was planning her exit and disconnecting from the nipple of me ever emptying wallet. She was easily able to CC 3 other guys and move in with the one with the fattest wallet within 7 months.
Haha that sucker. He'll find his way here eventually just as I did.
You're right about the over 40 women. But watch out for the silver diggers, they will definitely grab that next branch after they've depleted your assets.
Lol, I dated a 49y/o Brazilian ex model, trust me, AWALT.
Of course her genetics made it so she could. The wall was kind to her.
Currently plating a stripper in her mid 40s, doesn't look a day past 34, 100% certain she would be trying to spin plates of her own, if I didn't immediately dread her by talking about the 19y/o HB8 I went out with a week before her. Still, I know it's just my time with her, just like the rest.
You need more data points my friend.
excellent conclusion. good read.
new guys pay attention.
a woman fear one man only, the man who can exclude her from herd, so technically speaking it is possible to have faithful wife IF there is underlying threat of lebeling her as unwanted and taking away the sens of belonging
I enjoyed this post and agree in general with its content.
However, if all relationships are temporary, how do you go about having children? I'm pretty sure I'll want a kiddo or two in a decade, what are my options?
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Yes, but still, what is a realistic scenario of me having children and not utterly getting fucked over and losing frame when mom knows that she had me legally and emotionally by the balls and I can just walk away.
Only solution I can think of is a surrogate, which is a bit extreme.
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from all the examples i've seen it's the woman being ungrateful and selfish. the exception being my own family, in that case it's the woman being retarded and choosing a loser because he gave her the tingles.
Being stoic doesnt mean being a robot with no feelings.
It's the usual misinterpretation of the word. A mistake I have been guilty of as a newbie here.
I don't see any point in fretting over whether she's with another guy or not, but I don't think using spyware to find out if she's cheating is all that bad (as long as you don't obsess over it).
I agree entirely, and have come to understand this myself through experience over the years, but it has a glaring problem within the context of society: without constraint on typical female behavior, family formation is undermined and destroyed.
Enjoying the ride sounds great until you're charged with raising the next generation. Women opting out of responsibility and accountability is giving rise to appalling reproductive behavior.
there is no point crying over spilt milk.
everyone has heard this saying, the milk isn't yours, you get it from a cow. once the cow dies, where do you get your milk from? another cow
Great. Prioritize yourself, enjoy them to the fullest, let it all hang out, don't assign them a meaning!
The longer you are with someone the more difficult this is to internalize, especially coming to the realization after the fact. The anger and bitterness over it is also much greater in the absence of understanding that she was never a permanent installment, that she was never yours.
That lack of understanding leads to the belief that she now belongs to someone else. He somehow stole her away and is to blame for her infidelity. I must ask myself, "Would I not act in the same way if presented with the same opportunity? How can I honestly blame a man for acting in his best sexual interest?" You can no more cast blame than you can get angry at a dog eating a steak placed before it.
There may be something to be said for her self control, in which you have no say. You may also hold her desire longer by being the optimal choice among her potential partners, but this should be a passive trait. Holding on loosely. Women are like water in your palm, the tighter you hold it, the more it slips through your fingers.
This is not recommended legally, but it makes perfect sense if and only if you are considering the suicide-mission of wifing her up or having kids with her. Before you buy a house, you look in the basement at the foundation. Before buying a car, Carfax. Before hiring or promoting, you check the employee's criminal history. And marriage or 18 years of being bound to a person, can impact you and destroy you far worse than a bad house, lemon car, or shitty employee.
Pro Tip: Don't even consider doing this unless you really are considering wifing her up. In all likelihood you will find something you won't like (lies, cheating), and in all likelihood you won't be able to look past it. More likely you will either tip your hand, or worse, become drunk with power and keep her around- telling yourself you've moved on emotionally and are just watching the train-wreck- but in actuality, each day you continue to spend time with her, you're risking getting unintentionally attached to a disloyal woman (a form of Stockholm Syndrome). Ovid himself, once said:
"...how often it has happened that the man who begins by feigning love ends by falling in love in real earnest. Look with indulgent eye on those that give themselves a lover's airs; the love, now feigned, will soon be love indeed."
Hold on tightly, let go lightly
If a woman isn't lady enough to break up a relationship and instead cheats, she's a cunt
If you marry a virgin, then she is yours in the eyes of God.
If you marry a slut who has had ten other men before you, then yes, you are just one in a long line, taking your turn, and others will come after you.
Almost all modern Western women are sluts.
With fair divorce laws sure. When you have child support, alimony and 50%+ of your assets riding on her emotional state you bet to hell in keeping tabs on her.
First time posting on this sub, but y'all sound like Beta teens who heard that being cynical and "powerful" is cool and interesting to women, or maybe that one girl you crushed sooo hard on in High School turned out to be a total bitch and now you feel all world weary and smart because you "see through the game that is sex", you sound ridiculous.
I just knew that link was going to lead me to a .38 special song. Great post I love it. "She's not yours, it's just your turn."
Good post tips penis hat to you my good sir
"she is not yours, just your turn" is just sickening. its saying that you are accepting to be knowingly cucked in advance. Men are polygamous, and women are serial monogamous, so by accepting she isnt yours and not your turn is saying " i will relinquish my polygamous sexual strategy, commit myself to you, abandon my bioloigcal imperative whilst i wait for you to get bored of me in approx 2. year max and branch swing"
if there is no relational equity, and a woman is gonna cheat without remorse and you just have to accept it, why should you remain faifhful when you're tempted by new women?
Meet a lot of virgin girls, eh?
Only idiots stay or even plan on being faithful.
If you want a good relationship you HAVE to cheat.
True monogamy is for blue pill men in 2016. A man who goes in with no intention of monogamy is hardly getting 'cucked'
You guys are lost...downvote this if you want but its the truth. You know, there is a way to carry yourself as a man / boyfriend that will make her never want to cheat. And even if she still does....it would be indicative of an exception to the rule instead of the majory of women. Despite what you may think here on redpill, i believe there is a balance of power in a relationship. The one who holds more power holds more control. Setting yourself up to face the inevitable truth that she will one day leave you is not necessarily a bad thing...but it can be, and dont fool yourself into thinking it gives you power. It actually does quite the opposite. And if you hold the power, that is, if you act like the kind of man she doesnt want to admit has control over her....your gf or wife will never cheat or leave you. If anything it would be you leaving her.
You completely missed the point of this post. It's about peace of mind not power. Understanding that the attraction that drives relationships won't last indefinitely frees your mind to enjoy each moment you have with a woman and not obsess over how anything you say or do will determine if the relationship will last.
Late reply but power to me translates to peace of mind. When you know your content with whatever outcome that takes place, thats powerful...thats peace of mind.
Yes, never commit emotionally. And die lonely. Sounds like a good idea. /s
50% you get divorce raped then die lonely AND broke
The risk of divorce is way less than 50% if you marry a religious virgin from a good middle- or upper-middle class family.
Hm well that's great if you're religious, I'm not. I doubt a girl who is devout enough to actually wait till marriage will want to marry a heathen. I wouldn't want to marry into a devoutly religious family either.
Divorce rates go down when a couple marries when they are a little older (30s as opposed to 20s), financially stable, financially responsible, etc. Religious couples may be a little less likely to divorce (due to stigma) but that doesn't mean that either party is more likely to be faithful. If you are not religious yourself, I would stay away. I am not religious and have learned early on, I will never date a religious person again. Absolute mess.
Yeah not divorcing =/= a happy marriage. My parents are super Christian and have been married for over 30 years. They barely tolerate each other and my dad chooses to take business trips out of town whenever he can lol.
I think they would have divorced by now if it weren't for the stigma attached to it.
http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160105160709/http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/resources/divorcechart1_tcm77-305165.png
That's just one variable, in terms of a lifelong relationship even existing between two people as time goes on.
The blue line is the ideal; 'til death do us part.
The grey line is the messy reality; 'til boredom or infidelity or psychosis does she stay.
Just for the one variable; staying together in a marriage.
Not happiness, not fulfillment, not a life of material security, not raising a child (or children) successfully.
Are you feeling lucky?
Marriage, material security, raising a child are all secondary to being happy.
OP was talking about how when you are dating a girl, you should be aware that you are probably one in a line of men she will or has dated. I am not debating that at all, I'm thinking: no shit Sherlock. If you can't handle the idea that your girlfriend has been with other guys without feeling jealous or distrustful, you have confidence issues.
Reality is messy, I'm not denying that either. I've had my messy relationships, with cheating and lies. People can be weak, I have been weak. I don't know if the relationship I'm in now is going to get messy, if we're gonna stay together forever, or if it's gonna explode in a ball of fire in a couple of years, with her resenting me and slut-shaming me on facebook. I don't think so, I hope not, but I can't know for sure.
The thing I'm sure of is that whatever messiness I encounter, I can handle it, and therefore, I'm not scared of it. Unlike a lot of people on this subreddit, I'm not scared of emotional pain-- not anymore.
A lot of people seem to have trouble handling uncertainty, and to cope they build walls of mental defences and mind tricks. A lot of people try to avoid pain by not investing, committing, feeling. A lot of people on this subreddit keep a distance, defend themselves from pain, avoid being vulnerable with generalisations like AWALT and how women play mindgames and go after your money after a divorce-- so it's only smart to be cynical and keep your distance.
But the harsh truth is: no guts, no glory. If you don't invest, if you do not show your vulnerability or emotions to the girl you are in a relationship with, it will never be really fulfilling. And yes, you have shielded yourself from the bad feels, good for you. But you have also shielded yourself for all the good feels.
You can still invest emotionally in someone, appreciating them, being appreciating, and doing a genuine give-and-take without torturing yourself by worrying about things out of your control. What is the point in doing that? Worrying over such things gives you no extra control, does not make the relationship better or stronger, and just makes you crazy and insecure.
Yes, that was my point :-) I was being sarcastic (hence the /s)
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one of these days you will meet a girl who will take your virginity off your hands. A few months later and you'll walk in on her get double penetrated by two of the local Chads. Then you can come back to this thread, politely apologize, and correct your response.
Came in here and Mr Brightside started playing. Why is this inspiring?
With out reading the post, so this is a reaction to the title- If you have to think about it like that, your doing it wrong.
Sure.
But:
Life is not a game of absolutes, it's a game of odds. And you can improve your odds,if you want.
You can rule out the obvious sluts in five minutes, and ferret out most of the non-obvious sluts and potential sluts in a few days.
Fifty different conversational gambits reveal if a woman values fidelity in principal (some non-sluts still don't value fidelity, they just put a high price on their affections).
One serious conversation about her people and her places shows if she has the family, religious and cultural background that reinforces loyalty.
One serious conversation about her education, career and investment portfolio* reveals if a woman is smart, economically ambitious, and instinctively good at preferring long term goals over short term pleasures.
(Pro-tip: *If she's over 24 and has no IRA or 401k, the answer is "no").