Let's talk about how to actually talk to women. Many people read all the important theory and tactics on it from seduction reddit or PUA sites, many people get confident body language they need to have or at least emulate, and they get the basic "gist" of how to flirt. These guys are all missing one key ingredient - persistance.
These guys do not understand the nature of women, which leads to them interpretting individual acts of rejection as complete, final rejections. Women create resistance and barriers to test men. No means no to what you just tried, but try something else, I'm not optimistic about your chances, but you're not blown out yet. If I really think there's no way I want anything to do with you, I'll say so.
Before I start this example, please read it with the following principle in mind. Women are defensive, men are offensive. Our symbol is a spear, her symbol is a shield. This has been understood in all cultures since the beginning of time, and it's the same in most mammalian species. The female erects defenses that SEEM like a rejection, but in reality are more like playful shoves. She erects defenses that turn weak men away, saving her the trouble of having her time wasted by them. If she wants you to leave her alone, if she really thinks you're not a viable candidate at all, then she will end eye contact, turn away, speak in a really harsh tone, and so on. Push it to that point; you want to be hearing the actual rejection from her, not just leaving in anticipation of it coming.
Some may see it as beta. Like you're expending more effort or not being man enough to take your L and walk away. I get that. If you want to call it beta, I don't really mind. It's reeled in more pussy than acting aloof. At the end of the day, you will occasionally look like that guy who's been rejected but is still trying. You have to have thick skin and not worry about other people seeing you potentially getting blown out.
Field Report Time
For example, the girl I'm seeing now I met at a gym. Now, everyone knows it's rude to approach at the gym, no one wants to be interrupted in their workout. So initially she's standoffish - I got water at the same time as her and started talking about kettlebells. She's probably an 8 or so, pale blonde type, and in lululemons, top and bottom, wearing makeup. No doubt she knows that she's hot and she used to getting leered at, but probably not approached. Most guys are probably intimidated off by her rdf (resting bitch face). First thing that popped into my mind because she was using them when we had first made eye contact. Then she abruptly says "sorry gotta go back to my set" and starts to turn.
I say "Hey, wait."
I didn't actually have a plan of what to say, I just saw that my window was closing and I blurted out something to keep it open. I felt the micro-rejection, but I didn't feel like she had blown ME out.
She waits and raises her eyebrows in a mix of annoyance and amusement.
I don't have gold to work with, I'm just making shit up. "You need a workout buddy? I'm ready to swing these balls."
She rolls her eyes. "No." Done, right?
But she's making eye contact and I just feel like I'm not really rejected yet. Obviously she just said no, but I felt like she would have walked away if she wanted the conversation to end. She's not walking away. It's not looking good for your boy, but until that bitch tells you to either go away WITH HER TONE AND BODY LANGUAGE or she herself moves away, you have not blown yourself out.
So I just stand there and say "Ok. That's fine. I don't actually want to swing kettlebells with you, I just want your number."
"Oh my god, does that actually work on girls?"
I shrug and say "we're about to find out, aren't we." I hand her my phone.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," she says as she enters it in.
She me the next day, a Friday, and I took her to bar at 9, so very clearly not a "dinner date". I don't care about "waiting to show that I am disinterested. She fucking knows I'm interested, there is never going to be doubt about that because the man had to approach.
She agreed to meet for a drinking date, which generally is a good sign, but then she gave me a lot of LMR after I got her back to my place. I was really surprised; usually if she agrees to go out to drink with me, it means she's pretty on board - it's very obvious what that date means. Still, we were making out and she had pushed away or pulled back when I tried to get more and more handsy, and the second time said "No I don't feel like I know you well enough for more."
I felt a little anger, like what the hell, she clearly thinks I'm a beta, maybe she sees that my life seems kinda boring now, maybe she's thinking he is TOO into me. Maybe I overplayed. Doubting myself now. These microsecond thoughts, they are your brain out of control. You have to control your brain, not let it control you. She has not blown me out, but she's trying to see if I'm going to blow myself out. She wants me to win, not lose, remember that.
"That's cool. I agree. We totally don't know each other well enough this." I continue.
She laughs a little and goes along for a while, but again says "Ok, seriously though."
"You're right, we're a good team. You're responsible, I'm not. There's a lot about you that I want to get to know, too. We'll get around to that. Eventually." I hold eye contact and then next thing I know, she's taking my shirt off.
I felt like I was 16 again, my dick had damn near scraped itself to death on my jean zipper. This girl had really put up a tough defense. All in all, she played the game well. Respect.
Turns out, she's actually pretty smart and seems low partner count relative to North American standards for her age, at least from my reading of her. And you see why, her LMR killed off most guys who approached her in the escalated manner. Her upbringing and life experience and personality all converged to result in a woman who has a decent resistance to giving pussy away; she's been taught the value of going the traditional courtship / dating route.
She's higher RMV, but a BYPRODUCT of higher RMV is often - not always, but often - increased difficulty. She's harder to lay, because if she wasn't hard to law, other dudes would be ramming that. See, her high RMV necessitates that she be harder for the generic guy, and you are a generic guy until you separate yourself out from the pack. If you give up easy, if that's your personality, all you are doing is sabotaging yourself with girls who are better, the girls you actually want.
Hopefully this illustrates the importance of being persistant. There were like 6 opportunities where I didn't have a great answer, but I just didn't REJECT MYSELF. Each roadblock I guarantee you would have 90% of guys thinking "Aww shucks, well that's that, I tried, did the best I could do but I'm done." They can give themselves a pat of the bat for having the balls to approach, they definitely came out ahead of the wallflower, but they didn't really want to succeed.
When you want to succeed more than you want to preserve your ego or look cool to your friends, then you will succeed.
When in doubt, look at her body language. If she's facing you and looking at you, she hasn't been dismissed yet. She hasn't dismissed YOU yet. Just blab. Say something to show that you are sure she'll come around, and you're aware of the fact that she hasn't said no yet.
Never ever reject yourself. Force her to actively reject you - passive rejection is NOT rejection. I've seen guys reject themselves out of a set because they went in, said a line too soft to be heard, and the girls looked at them like "huh? What?" He saw the confused and unenthused faces, and said "err, sorry" and turned around. Pathetic. Just plant your feet.
What about when you're not at the club/bar/PU scene? What about in high school? What about in my hatha yoga class? What about...
This applies to guys who are pursuing women INSIDE of closed ecosystems too. This is a fancy way of saying schools, colleges, workplaces, social circles, and so on. People who you often develop some kind of peer relationship with and then you're trying to hit on them and bang them on top of that. This is where a LOT of guys will reject themselves either pre-emptively or after the initial dreaded LJBF or I don't see you that way. They will assume she's not going to be sexually into them and focus on building a friendship first (aka full retard), or they will nut up and ask her, but just not in a confident, dominant way. She says "I like you as a friend, sorry if that's not what you want to hear. I hope things won't be awkward?"
Most guys will be head down, say "OK" and then leave.
I'll say something like "You'll come around." I'll ignore them for a while. Try to fuck one of their friends (this is how you fuck the girl who friendzoned you, btw, my high school RPers. You fuck her best friend, she'll fuck you. I just taught you how to come in the side entrance.
I'll be giving them space, not going to go aspie on them. Then I'll chat again when I'm at a high point. When I have something that makes me a better candidate than last time. Maybe I'm starting to get recognized more in our social circle, and I'm hosting some events. Maybe I've gotten more time to develop and I know some of her friends have said positive things about me. I'm not looking for much, just some shred to signal that I have better circumstances.
I'll ask her out again. Etc. If she's still negative, but she's LESS negative than before, then I'm thinking progress. My dick's closer than it was. If her reaction is completely a "No and never" then I will back off. But see, if you at least are clean, in decent shape, well dressed, and you don't speak weird, she'll usually not hard-NO you like that.
Same thing with "I have a boyfriend" when you're out (and thus she's clearly OUT looking for something, even if she does have a boyfriend.)
"Ok. Respect. Are you allowed to have male friends. Male friends that you have ONE drink with?"
"No I don't think he'd be cool with that."
"Not ONE drink with a PLATONIC friend. One drink you paid for yourself, you didn't even let me buy it for you, there's no way you're not allowed to do that."
What can she say? See, she knows I'm not actually coming on as platonic (that is why I can say it. It's so obviously not true). By using the word "allow", I trigger her inner feminist to rear its head and say "no one tells me what I can't do."
Win or Lose, You Win
Now, you might not actually pick this woman up. Sometimes these hoes is loyal, sometimes they ain't. Sometimes these hoes ain't loyal, but you're just not good enough to get her to cheat. But you need to force her to make that decision; don't make it for her.
If you do not believe me and you think this will just lead to public embarassment and no pussy increase, then I urge you to just try it out. Three times rule. Give yourself three strikes - only blow yourself out after you hear three rejections. You are Rocky and I have decreed that the definition of "going the distance" in this context. Last three rounds, and I guarantee you that your chances of getting pussy will rise at least 33%. Because ultimately, when you buckle down, meet her eyes, and say "game on. I'm going to try to take what I want, and I don't think you WANT to stop me" and then you follow through by continuing your game, you're showing her that you are a man of tenacity and discernment. You know what you want, you know it when you see it, and you will do what it takes to get it.
You still might be too low SMV to seal the deal, but this will up your stock in her eyes because you played to win, not to "not lose".
To close, I'd like to stress that this does not mean be an aspie at any point. Do learn to read social cues and body signals. Back off if she's really not having it, like REALLY not having it. If it's at work, don't be an idiot, be very careful, you have to protect your career first. If it's on a dark alleyway at night or on a grimey subway, only hit on her once and take her first "no" at face value. (Yeah, I will still holler at a ho in the dark. If she's nervous and not into it, I won't persist. It's the one exception to the 3x rule.
Be smart about it.
But if you're comparing a smart but timid guy to a dumb but bold guy... who do you think gets more ass? I'm guessing almost all of you err way too far in the direction of the smart but timid guy. Try erring too far on the side of the dumb but bold guy. As a result, you might just end up exactly where you want to be.