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Summary of How To Win Friends and Influence People. Great guide for a beginner who wants to improve their charm!

by throwawaycomedian95 on /r/TheRedPill
08 May 2016 08:34 AM UTC

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This quote resonates with me often:

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.

  • Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.

  • Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  • Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you." The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.

  • Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.

  • Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together." People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name.

  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.

  • Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.

  • Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.

  • Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated, we must not be so blunt.

  • If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to think sympathize with our way of thinking.

  • Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall." If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.

  • Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.

  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.

  • Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.

  • Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.

  • Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.

  • Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.

  • Dramatize your ideas. In this fast paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.

  • Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  • Begin with praise and honest appreciation. People will do things begrudgingly for criticism and an iron-fisted leader, but they will work wonders when they are praised and appreciated.

  • Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. No one likes to make mistakes, especially in front of others. Scolding and blaming only serves to humiliate. If we subtly and indirectly show people mistakes, they will appreciate us and be more likely to improve.

  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. When something goes wrong, taking responsibility can help win others to your side. People do not like to shoulder all the blame and taking credit for mistakes helps to remove the sting from our critiques of others.

  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. No one likes to take orders. If we offer suggestions, rather than orders, it will boost others confidence and allow them to learn quickly from their mistakes.

  • Let the other person save face. Nothing diminishes the dignity of a man quite like an insult to his pride. If we don't condemn our employees in front of others and allow them to save face, they will be motivated to do better in the future and confident that they can.

  • Praise every improvement. People love to receive praise and admiration. If we truly want someone to improve at something, we must praise their every advance. "Abilities wither under criticism, they blossom under encouragement."

  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. If we give people a great reputation to live up to, they will desire to embody the characteristics with which we have described them. People will work with vigor and confidence if they believe they can be better.

  • Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. If a desired outcome seems like a momentous task, people will give up and lose heart. But if a fault seems easy to correct, they will readily jump at the opportunity to improve. If we frame objectives as small and easy improvements, we will see dramatic increases in desire and success in our employees.

  • Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. People will most often respond well when they desire to do the behavior put forth. If we want to influence people and become effective leaders, we must learn to frame our desires in terms of others' desires.

Letters That Produced Miraculous Results

In this chapter, the shortest in the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient of the request.

Post Information
Title Summary of How To Win Friends and Influence People. Great guide for a beginner who wants to improve their charm!
Author throwawaycomedian95
Upvotes 876
Comments 78
Date 08 May 2016 08:34 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/39411
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4idutu/summary_of_how_to_win_friends_and_influence/
Similar Posts


85 upvotesTheGatherHunter3 years ago

Nice post. I think the most important thing to take away from this is that our ego often keep us from reaching our goals. What's more important: being right and assigning blame, or having an ally?

13 upvotesStickman_Bob3 years ago

For me, being strong if being able to control your ego, your anger. Letting yourself being controlled by them is being weak.

9 upvotesumlal3 years ago

So long and thanks for all the memes!

0 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

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3 upvotesgwankovera3 years ago

Because even if it is conflicting, both have their places. All of us have hypicritical thoughts and or actions. there are good and successful ways to lead while being stern and perceived as mean. Then there are successful ways to lead while being perceived as nicer, you do not have to be lax to be nice. you can be just as strict.

55 upvotesRPFlame3 years ago

I'm going to go against the grain and say that, you really should read the book even after the summary. I live with the "lift, read" tenets and it's surprising how many people bullshit their way out of the latter by googling "X book summary".

You're not simply absorbing the meaning of a book, you're learning how to distinguish the good parts for you.

You wouldn't settle with "7-minute workouts" if I told you to lift. Why do you settle with "5-minute book summaries"?

14 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

Agreed. It will help you mentally absorb the information more strongly if you read the whole book, while a few fleeting words listed on TRP will likely not be remembered for long.

10 upvotesRPFlame3 years ago

Exactly, and even more than that actually. By letting others digest the good parts for you, you basically give them a free pass to subtly put their opinions in, kind of like reading a wordy review on Amazon.

I'm not criticizing your post, by the way. I just remembered a discussion I had with someone else over the meaning of importance Carnegie was talking about, which he considered to be one of the main differences between humans and the other animals and he was like "oh, I didn't read the book I found this website" and he later linked it to me on Skype. It was kind of a calendar with reminder from each chapter, with behaviors that you have to ingrain in your life.

5 upvotesfokm3 years ago

Agreed. Though I read the book years ago and appreciate a summary just to be able to review it and ensure it keeps sticking.

3 upvotesalbino_red_head3 years ago

Yep. Reading the book is hugely important. I can tell when someone's been through a half day dale carnegie workshop and vaguely paid attention, as opposed to reading the book and digesting the material. Appreciation comes off has "thanks for making me dinner again!" kind of hacked thank you's instead of honest "how the hell did you make this dish, it's amazing and spice is on point!? Smiles come forced and insincere.

This summary that you provided though, is an excellent way to keep track of all of the points. Thanks for posting. I sometimes would get lost in the different points and how they work toward a larger purpose. I've read the book years ago and had discussions after each chapter before class as part of an 'optional' extension of the class (that instructor was amazing for doing that). And now recently have listened on audio book. Timeless, valuable work.

2 upvotesQuatr03 years ago

But hey, as someone who hasn't read the book cover to cover since high school, this was an excellent write up to serve as a refresher!

2 upvotesfebruaryrich3 years ago

I see this as a teaser before actually reading the book

94 upvotesMattyAnon3 years ago

There are some major bits missing from all this. I've read it, it's a great book, all the points are true.

But.... BUT

If you're already a nice guy, this can make you even worse. It's very very beta.

It's all true.... but status counts for more than niceness. Social dominance is important. And you must make people respect YOUR boundaries.

20 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

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17 upvotesvandaalen3 years ago

This is the correct answer.

You need to be in a position where you have to offer something to people, wether it's status, ressources, power, comfort, access to women, access to higher status persons, protection, whatever.

Then you can begin working to build onto that foundation by furtherly spreading your sphere of influence with those tools.

If you are a low-status male with no perks at all, a no-one, nobody will give a shit if you are nice. At best you get ignored, at worst you are a disturbance to them, which they wish to vanish away as fast as possible. Not being nice just makes the pendulum swing towards the latter.

31 upvotes__NOTORIOUS__3 years ago

If you're already a nice guy, this can make you even worse. It's very very beta.

I think of it as a guide for charm. It's a tool in your tool box. Sometimes you need game. Sometimes you need Machiavellianism. And sometimes you need some friendly charm.

-2 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

and if youre already beta and read this, you have too much beta in your toolbox. you don't need that much beta

-11 upvotesIFuckingHateAllergy3 years ago

Artificial charm falls into the psychopathic territory. Ego falls into the narcisstic category. So by essence shouldn't a triadic personality be the ideal? Considering everyone has a hint of machiavellian traits.

15 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

When does artificial charm stop being artificial?

0 upvotesElCthuluIncognito3 years ago

I don't see how what you're saying is any different. It's a tool, which is useful for the triadic personality as with any personality. You're basically restating that.

14 upvotespoopcasso3 years ago

Read the book too, probably hands down the best book I've read in regard to how useful it has been in life (and in comparison to other improvement books in usefulness) . There are countless advices that I use daily in my social and professional life. Good chapter summary, and like poster above said, works great if you're already demanding respect through status. Everyone loves it when a high status is giving you attention, which is why this works better the higher your status is.

10 upvotesAywing3 years ago

I consider "The 48 laws of power" as a better version of HTWIP, much more adapted to the 21st century .

8 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

How is it a better version? 48 Laws leaves so much out in regards to charm which appears in HTWFAIP.

Granted, both books compliment each other.

5 upvotesC_D_O3 years ago

48 laws of power is one of the most overrated books commonly referenced in this subreddit and the manosphere at large.

I understand why people want to like it. I dont think many people have actually read it. Furthermore still i dont think many people have actually critically looked at it.

Its a very flawed work and as actionable advice its often worse than useless. You have to take a leap of faith with Greene's artistic license, and regarding the actual historical figures and events - you're often seeing examples of survivor bias.

Considering illimitable men is free, and actually a much deeper resource on power, I dont recommend anyone actually drop money on 48 laws of power.

1 upvotesAywing3 years ago

Damn, I planned on buying the physical book today because I thought it was worth it, now I won't, I'll just read the ebook version and then decide .

1 upvotesGigamon20143 years ago

Have actually read it, loved it. But you're semi right, reading the book is good as he provides some historical relevance to many of the quotes made. I dont think it can really be classed as an "actionable" book. Its more akin to something like the art of war. Insights into the human condition which one can take on board...its not really something that you read one day and then simply apply the next.

upvotes50 years ago

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2 upvotesMattyAnon3 years ago

Yeah... this is NOT covered in the book.... in fact if you start as a niceguy, this will open you up for even more abuse.

6 upvotesGigamon20143 years ago

No. It. Will. Not.

The fact you say that makes me think you may be speaking from negative experience. Being nice doesnt open you up to abuse, being weak does. Plenty of complete skeezebags who I knew were getting shat on by even bigger skeezebags.

There is a well known saying the business world. "Respect trickles downwards". When you work in a sales role, you tend to find its the people who have neither any power or any sway who tend to be the rudest on the phone. The gatekeepers tend to be more disrespectful than the bigwig they may be protecting your call from.

Acting like a tryhard and intentionally trying to antagonize people is the calling card of a weak man (its why I tend to notice former bluepill betas tend to be so attracted to Trump). Its excitement which a redpiller should be striving to bring, not to merely berate.

1 upvoteslawonga3 years ago

The point for this I guess is to be subtle about it, so they don't even know they're being charmed. You can be alpha in some tone and also use these tactics.

22 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

Just chiming in that the original version also had a section called "Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier." It got pulled in the 1980s (gee, wonder why). When you read the names of the rules, it can come across as being a bit on the BP side, but his explanations definitely have a red tint to them.

  1. Don't nag.
  2. Don't try to make your partner over.
  3. Don't criticize.
  4. Give honest appreciation.
  5. Pay little attentions.
  6. Be courteous.
  7. Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.

I realize a sizable percentage of those in this sub are still in the anger phase, so advice for LTR-type situations (let alone entering lolmarriage) won't necessarily sit well, but you have to remember that the context of the time was different: The book was originally written in the 1930s.

With that having been said, here's one that will sound familiar: "Don’t try to change your partner; it probably won’t happen, and will only lead to resentment. Just focus on being the best person you can be."

7 upvotescurtis_brabo3 years ago

I used to be all about Carnegie. However, people started to say that I was false arse-licker.

13 upvotesRynolz3 years ago

I love some Dale Carnegie. However, in my experience with women this needs to be tempered with some brutal honesty. That I don't give a fuck if you don't like my opinion thing is very powerful. Now initially when I meet a girl I play it pretty normal/basic. But I will not hesitate to slap them with the truth once they give up the P. <br> Now in the business world this stuff will slay it. Girls aren't quite like clients, bosses an employees. Different power dynamics.

5 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

Mmm. I suppose this is a good guideline for beginners, but once someone begins to read more about social skills they need to learn the difference between various situations.

11 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

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5 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

I treat women RP and men Carnegie . men and women are different. The business world during Carnegie's time was predominantly men, let's not forget.

5 upvoteslosectrl3 years ago

May I ask, do you place Carnegie higher in all situations, including sexual strategy?

I ask because personally I understand his position when doing business or meeting people I wish to be friends with. However, I struggle with how to use it with women I wish to fuck. It feels BP to me, maybe I'm missing something.

7 upvotesGigamon20143 years ago

Because alot of sexual strategy is still way too at the mercy of the persom espousing it. Some of TRP is sheer brialliance and yet alot of it is unadulterated garbage straight out of the amateur PUA playbook.

I think its key to realize that, in many ways, men are JUST as emotional as women. They're also just as vulnerable to emotional manipulators who can bypass ones ability to logically disseminate and appeal directly to what makes them tick emotionally. Carnegie's methods were superb at negotiating interaction from a winning hand. His entire schtick is total "non-threatened alpha"/"boss" game. It can work wonder with women, and is likely easier for early adopters to digest rather than the dread game which many here seem to not realize can workout disastrously without experience.

2 upvotesTheGatherHunter3 years ago

Dale Carnegie was a very insightful man with quality advice. While people are still driven by the same biological drives they were back then, social pressures and dynamics have changed over time. With this in mind, people should welcome additional advice that build on the foundation he and other great thinkers created.

"If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." -Sir Isaac Newton

1 upvotesRynolz3 years ago

Iceberg Slim Pimp: The Story of my Life. The ultimate book on women.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

To add a break line you press enter twice leaving a blank line in between

7 upvotesGMan5093 years ago

A summary of this book and no mention of being hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise? For shame

10 upvoteselevul3 years ago

As always, keep in mind that all this does not apply to picking up women. Most of these behaviors will have the complete opposite effect in that situation.

5 upvotesjseph12343 years ago

"we must learn to frame our desires in terms of others' desires."

And Thank You /u/throwawaycomedian95 this was very enlightening and reminded me of a lot thing I need to do and HOW to do them when dealing with my fellow man.

8 upvotesKIZAN3 years ago

Very solid piece of writing. Very straight forward and informative.

I struggle with this, more specifically with gossiping. Gossiping is something I enjoy doing I admit, it can go good or bad in terms of building rapport. Even so, spreading rumors is still not a good idea even if its not your intention to do harm.

It's something I need to work on fixing not only with close friends but with others as well.

5 upvotesdr_warlock3 years ago

Stop gossiping. That's what simpletons and women do. In addition, you don't have the pussy pass should your words be distorted through the grapevine. Nothing good can come from it.

1 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

But, if you hear gossip about someone remember that shit and if they fuck with you, further spread it. Law 5.

1 upvotesKIZAN3 years ago

Some people enjoy gossip and it can build trust substantially especially if both parties have a dislike for a certain someone or thing. Gossiping is a mediocre conversation tactic, but its effective. It can go really good or bad and shouldn't be used only if your certain the reciever is like minded.

A close friend of mine and I gossip often, we have a few laughs. Some of our best moments were from rumors. Gossiping is more of the revealing of hidden thoughts about others, something about sharing our personal opinions relieves us. In addition to that, something about gossiping is thrilling that's why its addictive which is why you must be careful when using it. Know when to use it and know who to share it with. Its all about moderation.

I don't talk about gossiping like in the movies, the shit teenage girls do maliciously. Its more of this kind:

" Tbh she looks terrible in that dress".

" Right? She has a bad sense of style."

It's still criticism/condemning technically. It would only go sour if the person receiving were to reveal your gossip to her or react negatively and call you out. That's why knowing your target is important.

-1 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

He stole the entire Dale Carnegie book and paraphrased it chapter by chapter. If you really want to know this stuff read the actual book How To Win Friends and Influence People.

3 upvotesDarkisKnight3 years ago

Great summary of this book. I have to continually remind myself of this stuff and let go of my pride. Influencing others is not about getting to say what you think or feel but about listening to others.

3 upvotesMarcusDavidson3 years ago

Parts of Carnegie's advice work, and those parts will lure you into implementing the rest of the book. Don't. Because Carnegie's advice is incomplete, and the missing parts make his advice toxic. If you have healthy social relationships (alpha), then you already do most of this stuff under the umbrella of tact. If you have a poor understanding of social dynamics (beta), and you implement this advice in the hopes of making friends, then you are going to become a major boot licker (sycophant). This book turns decent people into boot lickers, while making sociopaths 100 times more effective.

HTWFaIP should be titled "How to Win Fake Friends by Pretending to Like Everything They Do", or "How to Lie to People to Get Something From Them", or "How to Fool Yourself Into Thinking You Are Influencing Someone, While In Reality They Are Manipulating You."

Here are some better options. A good maxim for social interactions is "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood." If you just want to manipulate people, then read Robert Cialdini's "Influence". If you want to stop others from manipulating you, then read Robert Glover's "No More Mr Nice Guy". If you want to stop being a beta, read Nathaniel Branden's "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem". If you want to become a better human being, read Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". If you just want to charm the pants off the ladies, read "The Book of Pook".

"How To Win Friends" should not be on anyone's reading list.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

The more knowledgeable you become, the better life you can live. Keep reading men and keep taking steps forward everyday.

2 upvotessezamus3 years ago

In other words be an alpha.

Make people around you feel good. Smile, be confident, show them respect, never complain AKA share the good vibe.

It also is applicable to women. Be in a good vibe and you will turn her onto good vibe. Good vibe will make her like you "oh he makes me forget about the world".

People need a... parent. No matter men, women, they all need a mentor, a father, a leader. Someone who is a rock sharing good vibes, showing that everything is gonna be ok. Taking care of people on their subconcius level make them admire you. They feel validated by your presence.

4 upvotescasemodsalt3 years ago

What guide do I need to make people leave me the hell alone.

4 upvotesOneRedYear3 years ago

Just do the opposite of all of this and people will hate you

3 upvotesIdiosyncraticBanana3 years ago

When I was a kid, my grandfather took me around the neighborhood and told me matter of factly, "I want lemons for my coffee and I'm going to get lemons for free and people are going to like me for it."

I called bullshit (in polite child terms) and he just laughed and said watch.

He pulled up to a stranger's house with a lemon tree, brazenly walked up, introduced himself and started making conversation and then said, "I'd like to buy some of your lemons."

"No, no, here, just take some!" and they had pleasantries, laughed, and he walked away with this bag of lemons. Then he told me how it worked.

"I read a book called HWFIP by Dale Carnegie. People like you and trust you more when they do you a favor. Sure, there's a chance they might actually charge and I'm prepared to buy one for a small fee if that happened, but it almost never does."

"Now, I made those people like me and I got free lemons."

He always had the upperhand in relationships and transactions and people love him for it, this is just a small example but that same pattern and other tools in his toolbag he got from that book continued this pattern in his family/business life as well people loving him and him getting to have his way through charm and understanding people.

So, you can use the tricks in the book to your advantage and still be an alpha. Like the commenters here say, first be a respectable man and then you can use this book to your advantage.

3 upvotesAZTRP3 years ago

Lemons for coffee? I'm going to try that.

2 upvotesIdiosyncraticBanana3 years ago

Its tasty and healthy, haha.

4 upvotesbreadoflife3 years ago

This post almost seems like a social experiment to see who is an alpha or beta. With 98 up votes i would say it is clear where men really are in this sub But of course by writing this i am doing the opposite of "how to get people to like you." Do i care? No. But it also shows that the author of the book is clearly using it to his own advantage. If this mentally really worked and wasn't just a form of controlling people you wouldn't see people like Donald Trump having great success despite him polarizing the US.

11 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

Trump follows a similar structure to this book, but only with people he needs approval from. He said he was honoured by Putin's compliments because he wants a good connection with Russia, he has not made any bad comments towards his followers or anyone who has endorsed him.

When it comes to his rivals though, make a public mockery of them. It will make his fans love his honesty, as long as they don't hear anything at their own expense too they will continue to love his honesty.

4 upvotestruthyego3 years ago

The question really is, which people? Idgaf to win or influence most people. They are morons, automatons, uncreative, short sighted, egotistical, fickle, betas, bitches, and generally not worth my time or respect, unless I need something specific from them.

Of course I am pleasant day to day, but I hardly ever go out of my way to win or influence anyone. People who do are usually looking for some kind of validation. Or maybe they're high profile and need to maintain an image for some other goal, in which case, ALL of these rules are subject to the 48 laws first.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

Great summary. That book is a classic.

1 upvotestddaygame3 years ago

Remember one thing: this book is great for making friends and influencing other people... not for getting laid.

1 upvoteszawpi3 years ago

heres a visual guide http://i.imgur.com/7qKGuGr.png

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

I really struggle with this, i'm very analytical...how can I improve?

1 upvotestolerantman3 years ago

This book was written by a loser who died with no friends and couldn't even manage to make his daughter like him.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

Another summary (I haven't read it yet though.)

1 upvotesOneRedYear3 years ago

My boss tries to do all of these leadership moves but it seems to ring hollow false and manipulative to everyone in our department. How does one prevent that?

upvotes50 years ago

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2 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

I've tried that and it made people really frightened of me

1 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

I've tried that and it made people really frightened of me

0 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

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2 upvotesyourpasswordissex4203 years ago

Why rewrite something if its already put together well and is accurate. Its unnecessary work and wikis summary is good enough to prompt discussion.

-21 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

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7 upvotesthrowawaycomedian95 [OP]3 years ago

For some people, how to enhance being friendly and trustworthy isn't so obvious.

8 upvotesGigamon20143 years ago

You make friends by being a good person.

No. You, really, REALLY don't.

-4 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

[permanently deleted]

-7 upvotes • [deleted] • 3 years ago

No, worse actually, he took a popular book "how to win friends and influence people" and copied it chapter by chapter.

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