EDIT: Automod got me for brigading, back again
Link to op: https://archive.is/uULD2
Summary: OP (girlfriend) gets asked by an "ancient ex" to meet up in Amsterdam for a week while he is there for work (he lives in Italy and she in the UK). She books the ticket before mentioning anything to her BF because:
they were on sale for a ridiculously low price on the dates that he would be there, so I jumped at the opportunity.
Boyfriend breaks up with her without loosing frame and even 'that' subreddit calls her out for being wrong.
Body: So they've dated for 6 months and she thinks that going alone to Amsterdam to meet up with an "ex from ancient history who is more like a best-friend" is a good idea. She starts with the excuses even in the title.
Her boyfriend shows exactly how a situation like this are to be handled, no harsh words, no complaining about not going simply holding frame:
Pete seemed cool with it at first but after a few days asked me if there was any history between us. I was honest and told him there was. He didn't seem too bothered and eventually asked if I thought visiting an ex in another country was appropriate whilst in a relationship. I explained to him how Dave and my relationship wasn't like that and that we were strictly platonic. He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it.
Edit: "he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic" -> "dont need to talk, just grin" (c) Endorsed TRP-philosophy.
First he calmly suspects that this is more than platonic and asks her and her hamster believes that going a week to Amsterdam with an ex to do drugs and partying is a sign of a "platonic friendship" and feels safe confessing that he is actually an ex. He then proceeds to ask if she think its appropriate (not telling her its not, just vetting to see if she is really LTR material).
She then pulls out the "strong independent black woman" card as a response:
I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it.
Here most men would have caved, given her reasons not go, told her not to go or even worse, supported the idea of the trip because nobody wants to be an "abusive boyfriend". Her boyfriend on the other hand shows exactly how to hold frame he even explains it to her:
Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me! I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye." Before I could say or do anything more, he kissed me on the forehead, said goodbye and walked away. He didn't seem angry, just...sad.
No harsh words, no ultimatums, no anger, just HELD FRAME. He realise a women that cant show her relationship the respect it deserves dont deserve him and he simply lets her go.
Here comes some bonus:
To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam.
Suprise, her ex-boyfriend didnt invite her to Amsterdam to party to have a platonic friendship re-kindle. Obviously both men in this story knew exactly what was up but she comes to the Internet asking for advice of what went wrong.
I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong?
"How could he do that to someone he loves?" she asks herself without any self-reflection (until even the Internet told her that yes, you were wrong).
Lessons learnt:
Women believe in their hamsters, they are not lying when they say they "didnt cheat" or "it just happened", just because she believes her own lies dont mean you have to.
Hold frame, even if your girlfriend is planning on going on a fuck-trip to Amsterdam with an EX.
AWALT?
Pete is a hero. Good on him.
He deserves the Red Pill Badge of Frame.
Who would win between him, and the rich guy who made potato soup and watched netflix?
What's the potato soup Netflix guy a reference from?
Fiance breaks up with boyfriend because he lives "frugal and have no ambitions", a few months after breaking up her friends tell her he is loaded and she cant understand why he never showed her the money or spent any money on her.
Sure if you sort the right subreddit by top or search it youll find it, I cant remember where it was posted though.
That was cross-posted here. If I am not mistaken, that was the lumberjack guy who played guitar and wasn't "ambitious" enough, drove a beater car or something, so she dumped him and he went "meh" and wished her well, etc. She told one of his friends and the guy chuckled and said she dumped a guy who owned thousands of acres of land and was worth a shit-ton of cash.
EDIT: It was this guy
I can't find the link, but there was a follow-up post a year later from the bitch where she termed the reason for the breakup to be "life issues, wanting different things, etc." She completely re-wrote the reason for the breakup in her mind.
She went back to the same NYE party she met him at the year before, got all wet and tingly when he hugged her, and then slumped into a deep depression when she realized he was with another girl, and had completely moved on from her. It was greatness.
Just sorry I can't find the follow-up link or archived post.
There was a follow up at some point if i remember. How she had hamstered the story over time to remember that she dumped him.
I just noticed that on top of inheriting money, he ran a few websites. You don't run a few websites without knowing what you're doing somewhat. I bet he had a solid living wage from those sites. So he did tell her he made some money.
She was right to dump him. Based on available information that guy is an ambitionless loser. You can't blame her for doing exactly what we're trying to do here. Trying to find a better people for our lives. If you ask me she too was red pill. Just not a good researcher.
Girl came on Reddit to complain about her very wealthy boyfriend who recently broke up with her. She was mad because she found out he was wealthy after she broke up with him for not wanting to go out on a bunch of dates and buy her shit. Her finding out he was wealthy turned her smugness of the breakup into anger.
The reasoning for the breakup was that he often wanted to spend his personal time watching Netflix with her and made her meals (specifically made her soups; because when people make you food, you should complain about it).
Best part was that she found out later was that he had, without her knowledge, paid a bunch of medical bills for some family pet that were ill (something along those lines) and told her mom to keep it a secret. I guess even her mom told her it was stupid to have broke up with him.
He also paid for her fathers funeral, but told her mum to keep it a secret as he didn't want to be know as "the rich benefactor"
So he was actually watching Netflix and was it his account?
But how good was the potato soup?
heard it was valued at 50% of his income.
He gets a spot in the Hall of Frame.
I think we need a Hall of Frame.
didnt you write CorprateLand
If you still can't be Chad, at least be Pete
I nominate "Until you can be Chad, at least be Pete" for a new TRP slogan!
I feel like Pete. Not an alpha yet aware enough to not fall for a woman's bullshit
I think we're all pete's. Chad is just the dreamful archetype we all strive for
Pete did beat one of the toughest challenges: willingly giving up pussy, even when you don't have backups available (assuming he wasn't talking to other girls while dating)
I hate to say it, but if it was me I'd string that relationship on until I found another girl to replace her. Pete is definitely more mature than I...
Perhaps Chad is TRP in single, plate-spinner mode and Pete is TRP in (semi-)exclusive, LTR mode?
It's all good. At some point you decide that you have a path forward. Career and such going smoothly and you just want someone to share in it. Not a plate but someone quality and worthy of respect. You go on dozens of first dates until you find one even worth a second. You court her (seriously) since you want to find a worthy mate. Maybe she passes. Maybe she fails. You drop her if she does. You don't want to wast yours or her time. That is Pete. Eventually you get some comfortable stability and you have the quiet confidence that befits a middle-aged man.
not everyone needs someone at all times. Lots of dudes, especially when coming out of a LTR, will take some time off. Stop putting pussy on a pedistal brah...
this is true abundance mentality.
Not sure the elapsed time in between some of their conversations, but I suspect Pete starting lining his ducks in a row before he pulled the trigger. At the very least, he emotionally withdrew the second she mentioned the trip. Pete's red pulled, whether he's in this sub or related websites or not.
How old are you? Pete is 30, and has been through this shit before.
There're really no indicators he's not alpha.
You can be as alpha as you want but bitches can still be dumb as fucking bricks.
Pete and Bring the Skittles guy should high five.
Haha, had never heard about the skittles guy. Thanks for sharing
Definitely stealing this idea, gonna start giving bitches skittles lmao.
When my monk mode is over...ill make some FRs.
I don't even like skittles!
As a Pete, I endorse this post.
I would honestly rather be Pete than Chad.
Is this a Bachelorette reference?
"They are the tools of abusers"
This guy dodged so many bullets at once.
You don't want to continue being my boyfriend while I go on a vacation to see my ex that I didn't invite you on?!
SO ABUSIVE!
No kidding even if they were just friends and nothing was going to happen which I believe she wanted to f*** him anyways, or at least test the waters. It is messed up in a relationship.
"Oh hey I already put in for a vacation with someone else. So you don't have to save your vacation for me anymore"
If my GF did that even for her sister and didn't at least try to include me I would be upset.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking selfish and a clear sign that the girl doesn't understand how healthy female-male relationships work. Also, it may be a sign that she just dated losers most of the time who tolerated this kind of behavior from an LTR.
"Oh yeah Beta Ted is soooo chill he like doesn't get jealous of my jacked guy-friend Alpha Tony when we have our sleepovers together. He's such a great guy!"
One of my closest friends is a female but she has a boyfriend. We get drunk together, smoke together, she even slept in my bed last weekend. Now, I have literally zero interest in her. I have never made a move and will never make a move on her. Realistically, there is nothing wrong with this situation for her boyfriend but he has only met me 3 times. There is no way he could know that I'm not trying to make a move on her. I just can not get over how he is just cool with his girl coming over to my place and getting all sorts of intoxicated and then sleeping here. If I were him this would never fucking fly. It's amazing what some guys will put up with
Even if it's true that she's not doing anything with the other guy, and I will be honest it's probably true half the time we hear this, I still wouldn't let it fly. It's not appropriate and everyone knows it, the woman just wants her cake and eat it too. They want the male friends they can play around with inappropriately as well as their boyfriend not being jealous. It's sad so many guys deal with it. I said no to one of these situations before and honestly forgot the gal's name.
You know, this makes me wonder how often this shit happens but the guy is too beta to act on it. I mean, I'm not exactly attractive but I do act super "alpha" around this girl because I'm legit not interested. I bet a lot of guys break up over this stuff(justifiably) but nothing actually happened because the guy was too beta to initiate it lol
But yeah, I wouldnt put up with this if I was in a ltr. Thats bullshit.
Yup, I have two plates that both have "boyfriends". Both bfs know about me. WTF? I even send them home without a shower...sheesh. I guess some guys get off on that stuff. Good for them I guess, good for me too.
It's okay you can say fuck on the internet.
Fuckity fuck u fokken wot m8 swer on me nan
Haha fuck yea. Nah I just used my voice to text function and it automatically censors words like that. Maybe there is an option for it but the kids man... the kids..
Yeah, that abusive ass wouldnt let her ride her ex's dick
Basically any girl who says they're "good friends" or "best friends" with any of their exes is not LTR material.
I can understand if they run in the same circles and see each other at group events or something but if they regularly hangout one on one forget it.
He dodged them matrix style.
I've never seen anyone move that fast
And according to OP:
Confirmed: Pete is Neo.
I've never seen anyone navigate so nimbly
Like some sort of centipede
I have only seen one other navigate so nimbly but he is The One Above All so us mere mortals can only hope to reach Pete levels.
Holy shit RIGHT!? She said abuse 3 times in that post she is the epitome of why you should be afraid of women.
I was exclusively dating a girl for a while. We were out with friends and she started talking with one of my friends. I chimed in on the conversation and she pretty much ignored me.
Later, she turned her attention back to me and tried to kiss me. I pulled away like I was Neo dodging a bullet in the matrix.
Later, in the cab on the way home, she expressed her anger at how I reacted to her trying to kiss me. She said that the way I reacted was "violent." I ended things then and there. You can never trust a woman who is digging for reasons to call you violent/abusive.
Unfortunately, they have all seemed to learn to key in on the liberal buzzwords since they are inscrutable as the ideas they represent infallible.
I had a girl I was working on a project with in school come up to me with a promotional poster for an event once. (I was the project manager). She asked me if this looked good and it was ok to print?
I read it and said "I really like the design, but you spelled every single speakers name wrong, and several capitalization mistakes in the texts. Rework it and bring it back."
I later heard she wanted to get other members of the group to go to the professor and report me "bullying" her but no one woudl do it.
Sounds like they were smart enough to realize that if she would do that you, they were next the moment they didn't pander to her either.
Victimization ideology has infected all areas of culture. People who aren't allowed to identify as victims (whites, males, heteros, etc.) are scared to death of being labeled with shame words (racist, sexist, homophobe, abuser, etc.)
In my youth I would buckle at the first moment a woman cried victim. I'm sure most men do. Women know this and many are keen on taking advantage it. Unfortunately men these days need to be very politically aware--or redpill aware--to counter these accusations.
I'm dominant but hyper aware of boundaries so whenever a woman pulls anything like this, I am automatically done with her. It is a sign of inner rot. If you don't end it, later in the relationship she will start to make demands under the guise of equalism. "Why are you always in charge?" "Things should be 50/50" "You should compromise just as much as me" etc. And when you do compromise, she loses respect for you. Even though she says she wants you to compromise, her attraction dries up faster than a desert mirage when you do.
On a date, bill comes, "Things should be 50/50." Girlfriend says you can't flirt with other girls, "Why are you always in charge?" You've asked her for anal multiple times, "You should compromise just as much as me."
Sounds like a really bad night for you. To add insult to injury, she attempted to blame shift and make you out to be something you're not.
Good on you for putting that dumping that bitch.
You have to hold frame, or else these women will fuck with your mind and take a big dump in your soul. The hamstering, the solipsism, the accusations of "abuse" and "violence..." They will rob you of your sanity if you let them.
These things sound like solid advice outside of intimate relationships. I see myself breaking frame at work, fuck, in the grocery store, casinos. Not paying attention, fuck you I was walking here. Trying to punk me on lunch break for taking a break? Really could use advice on that one
You lose your cool a lot? I think you'd do best to relax and not get so riled up by things. There's this guy at my work that I supervise--he's so damn touchy and sensitive about everything. It's so weird. I'm not saying that's how you are, but maybe you're similar.
Care about the things that matter, but 99% of things really don't. Somebody not paying attention to where you're walking? It's just life. So many people are stupid and not worth your energy.
Wise man. Many wouldn't skip the pussy.
RP > Pussy
More to life than pussy.
Which is such a massive symbol of weakness.
The last chick I had a 6 month thing with, I was like, "This is how its going to be, the rules, your responsibilities in terms of sex, cooking, cleaning, and my usual daily schedule....if you don't like it then fuck off to someone else." As I opened the door and showed her the way out.
I literally had to move after that to get away from her lol, cause no one ever laid it out like that to her. She house wifed it up in the kitched, and porned it up in the sack, and then I was out when she started catching feelings and wanting to move in
I had a girlfriend like that. My most recent ex actually. Every time we were having a conversation that was moving towards somewhat heated topics (politics, feminism, stuff like that), she would most of the time parrot feminist memes such as wage gap and the likes, and accuse me of "stepping all over her" when I disagreed with her. Terribly fucking annoying and it also makes it impossible to take the person seriously.
Afraid of them? Fuck that. Cover your ass. CYA.
Don't let them get in the position to fuck you over like that. This guy did the right thing. Next. If any bitch accuses me or likens me to an abuser, she is fucking gone. Bitch I treat you better than anyone you've every been with, don't put up with your bullshit, lead you, dominate you, and make that pussy wet, and you want to call me abusive and try to manipulate me with it? Gtfo.
No shit dude ofc you next at the first word of abuse. That is standard. But girls don't always outright tell you they feel abused, they go straight to cops and get you fucked. Im just saying they are a mess of thoughts and react on feels, like we all know, so you really have to be always on guard.
I think her true feelings usually trickle out occasionally, but you have to be aware of when it happens or you'll miss it.
Yeah this woman sounds like a handful.
Damn, I didn't really notice that. Very scary.
This part bothered me the most. This bitch was grasping at anything to pin on this guy. He didn't slip up on anything. Just asked a few questions, tried to get her to realize what's up, tells her it's over swiftly, answers her call telling her have a great time, and done. She got dumped, the other guy wants to just bang her, and at the end of it she has no one to blame but herself.
Edit: The whole time she calls him "abusive". Dude was cooler than a polar bear. Didn't yell, didn't get mad, didn't hit or get physical, kissed her on the forehead, told her have a great time in Amsterdam, and got out of her way. She wants to party hard with and old ex, screw him, all while expecting this guy to wait for her to come back after getting a drugged up and banging her ex for a week and expected him to accept the she was feeding him. She doesn't care about the relationship, has no issues with cheating, or how he feels about it. Who is abusing who? And if it wasn't a big deal why you lying about it?
Bitch, ffs, please.
Holding frame like he did becomes much easier with experience and age. As he said, he had been through it before and had already decided he would never go through it again. A man of his word.
Indeed. If you're here, chances are you fall into one of two groups. Either you never got laid, or you had some bad experiences. You're honestly better off if you fall into the second category. You know first hand that she's not worth the effort. You know first hand that AWALT applies to the same girl who tells you she loves you on a daily basis. Always be ready to walk away.
Do you ever think there's too ready to walk away? I next girls relentlessly, even plates. I've slept with and gone out with more women since finding TRP two years ago than the previous 30 years combined. In that time, I've met maybe 2 women that I thought would make decent LTRs.
My time is too valuable, I just don't care to waste it when 99% of these women have nothing more to offer than a warm hole between their legs and (sometimes) they cook me food.
I definitely fall into the second category you mention. I've had a few LTRs when I was bluepill that ended horribly. I do believe that's 100x advantageous than the first category. I just wonder if I've seen too much and just avoid wasting my time on worthless women?
Thoughts?
I don't think there is a such thing as too ready to walk away, as long as you are patient enough to game a girl you meet at the bar on a night out. Like you said, your time is too valuable to deal with the BS that many women bring. All that matters is you are happy.
...pain is an effective teacher, I'll admit. You never forget the lesson once it is learned.
She probably was going to bang the dude in Amsterdam. Now she probably feels different, her boyfriend showed alpha behavior by walking away. You could tell she got the pringle tingles. The funny thing is bitch is still going to Amsterdam, there's no trip cancellation or anything, from what I read, outstanding in her field.
Absolutely she was, or it would be the "it just happened" excuse. Of course, she'd never admit it unless backed into a corner.
A really pathetic, but perfect example of some western women today.
[permanently deleted]
You'd never convince her that it could have happened. In her mind she's completely innocent and wouldn't have done it. Then, when she woke up half naked and half stoned after getting railed by him the night before it would just be a drunk mistake that the bf doesn't need to know about.
With the "It was a different country, so it doesn't count" hamster leading whatever excuse she spits at our hero.
I should elaborate more: It is extremely likely, as I see with her sense of entitlement, that once she was there she'd at some point decide to have "fun."
And rationalize it away, of course...
Yep. In this type of situation, the relationship is already over. There's no saving it, because there's only 3 outcomes.
BF trusts GF and lets her go. She fucks her ex.
BF complains to GF but lets her go. She fucks her ex.
BF breaks up with GF before her trip. She fucks her ex.
Option 3 is the only scenario where the BF leaves the situation with dignity and makes his GF think twice about her decision.
Forget this bit. Doesn't matter. Option 3 is the situation where he gets out of his awful relationship. Thinking about how it makes her feel is backwards. She doesn't matter anymore.
I agree, I meant that part more so as a bonus. Thanks for clarifying.
Bonus? Nope. Don't even think about her. It's a waste of time.
She could of cancalled the trip if she really cared for pete. Whats an airline ticket over a relationship?
A curious game. The only winning move is not to play.
Sure she was, looking at the facts she bought her own ticket. The ex didn't pay for it or lay anything out for her, she did the work to go see him. This isn't some insignificant guy to her, plus this is her ex she's already been fucked by him before. This girl isn't that stupid to be surprised by him saying "now we can have more fun" we're her audience and she has to look good in front of us.
Stupid question, what are pringle tingles? (I googled it)
Nothing just regular tingles that women feel, i just wanted to be kool!
I like that you single handedly caused "pringle tingles" to be in his search history.
When my and my ex broke up she expected me to react differently. Next up I got a whole avalanche of 'you want me backs', 'you want to fuck me stills' 'you are getting jealous aren't yous' and 'yous are mads'.
I wasn't at all, kept neutral, encouraged her to move on and said I held no ill will. The last time she talked to me I got told "you want me back don't you, but I have no interest in you", I told her I didn't and her response was to angrily roast me out.
Figured there was no talking to this girl and been ignoring her since. To this day I think the crazy bitch still thinks I'm angry. Women will do anything to hamster away their insecurities.
Heard from a neighbor that had to deal with my second ex a few times a month. She still says I need to get over her. I'm having way too much fun fucking younger and hotter girls than she is to want her lying ass back. She is the one who moved closer to me, deliberately on my way to dump my trash so I have to go by her house a few times a month. When she sees me, she makes sure I see her, to the point of backing up and diving by my place.
Saw her sister yesterday, the one who wanted to fuck me. Maybe I'll accidentally bump into her at the 4th of July parade... And give her the opportunity to get fucked good and hard. Her sister is still cute despite being 31.
It's amazing right, even though I know why they want to think like that (trying to break your frame) it still boggles my mind. Of course they don't really believe themselves. Their doubts are laid clear for the world to see the moment they voice their fears.
Their fragile egos require her past boyfriends to be hung up about them. It's why they try to make a splash just before the break up. They want to be unforgettable, to break you so utterly that they will always know they made the right choice to leave you.
This one has got to be kicking herself by now. She knows I always do better than my ex's, and they all want me back after they fuck it up. She will hear what I have going on and she will know she fucked up.
I am her only ex, she never knew anything before me. That means she will always remember me and compare everyone to me. I was her first for everything. It's unsurprising that she wants to be close to me and thinks I want her post wall ass back. I got her 20s, why would I want more of wrinkles, saggy tits and ass, and more bullshit? I'll be adding a couple plates this summer, younger and better looking than her, so she has less than zero chance of getting me back.
Sounds like she's exhibiting textbook psychological projection!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection
The girl was a master of projecting and would be perfect in a case study about psychopathy and messed up borderlines. Then again she also accused me of emotionally cheating when she was branch swinging to some other guy. So allot of her behavior is just female psychology at work.
projection is par for the course for all women. Some do it knowingly, aka being overtly manipulative, while most don't even realize they're doing it. But I've experienced it with every woman I've been with, to different digrees. Including highly educated doctors. AWALT
Goddammit I'm dealing with a girl calling me abusive because I think it's fucked up she gets drunk or does coke with guy friends at 2am (I don't do drugs...anymore). No we aren't dating, but we are exclusive (afaik) and I don't ever physically hurt or threaten her.
This post made me realize why the girl claims I'm abusive...it's because she wants the freedom to do whatever she wants without the consequences (me leaving her). By calling me abusive the blame is shifted onto me and I'm forced to either back down (which I did) or leave her. I think I will not be talking to her after this post. I feel like kind of a bitch compared to the alpha boyfriend in the story...
There is no way in hell I would date a girl that's hanging out with other guys. Add to the fact that it's 2 o'clock in the morning and there's guys , double negative. Add cocaine to the mix, and she is definitely fucking other guys dude. Hate to break it to you, but if I had bet my life on it I would say that she's fucking other dudes
No question. I've seen this play out with more than one of my bros and their ex with late night come binges (and another bro who was banging the cheating girl). She's getting railed hard by them, pun intended.
Reasonable to think it is fucked up that she is staying out, doing drugs, and fucking other guys in the wee hours of the morning.
No, you're not, and you know it. You just admitted it when you said she is out playing cokewhore and fucking guys at 2 am.
I needed that sanity slap to the face, glad I stopped by TRP today
At least you're knowledgable about the situation now.
I beta just slides even if he thinks something is wrong. An alpha learns and applies.
If you aren't really sure that you're exclusive then chances are in her head you aren't.
You shouldn't even be fucking with a girl that does drugs. They can never control it.
To be fair, I didn't know she did until last night when I was leaving and she said she was gonna do coke with her friend, and that's when I realized what a fool I've been. She's in a PhD program and is pretty bright, so I was a bit shocked..
You’d be surprised how many people that are not gutter white trash and do heavy narcotics, I’ve met people you would think see alcohol and weed as the devils creations, turning out they do heroin.
Chicks doing illegal drugs is always a huge red flag for me, even weed. Alcohol can be a red flag, if she gets piss drunk every opportunity she gets, that’s not a girl to LTR up.
I’ve seen horror stories where men get set up by their LTR for drug charges, so watch out.
That's because you are.
''she gets drunk or does coke with guy friends at 2am''
...Come the fuck on.
I'm new here but, feel that more than a splinter, call it a half dose of red pill happened long ago. I'm sorry, right in the feels. I've been the guy doing coke with "your" girlfriend at whatever time and she definitely sucked my dick, danced for me or let me rail her. Tnstafl. Or all of the above. Next her and be happy. Has nothing to do with you beyond your tolerating it. Good luck
That was spectacular. Maybe this is the best example of holding frame in history ;)
Sometimes encountering a hamster on hardcore 'level 4' research-only steroids comes with such a massive bow-shock preceding it that it will trigger even the most unresponsive male alarm systems. He dodged a huge anal-fissure level mind-rape that it is admirable but in a similar vein, it had to be pretty damn easy to see it coming along. It's aways a fucking deception though but that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Don't leave off the important part.
Translation: I will not accept consequences for my actions, because that is abuse. So don't try to put any rules on this relationship.
The real redpill is he didn't give her an ultimatum. He let her be free in what she wants to do, and from that freedom he can judge her real character. He correctly realized this bitch could be wined and dined to cheat on him, so he left her.
If he gave her an ultimatum and she stayed, it doesn't change the fact that she wanted to go and wanted to cheat on him.
Her use of the word "ultimatum" is so very hamstery. It is like saying someone should keep a faithful to a contract is an ultimatum. If he presented her with options, that's an ultimatum and highly retarded. Telling her that her actions would break the existing deal is not an ultimatum. What a dumb twat.
Exactly. Honestly what this guy did was fucking amazing on so many levels. He gave her the illusion that she could do what ever the fuck she wants. Then if she throws up enough red flags or does something that is dishonest, he just dumps her right away. This is next level shit to weed out disloyal hoes. It goes with the hole mindset of always be closing, even if your trying to find a long term girlfriend. Because she wont tell you she is a ho, you have to test her.
She just being pre-emptively hypocritical, She was never going to back down from the trip (though he didn't ask her to), she was the one issuing the ultimatum "I'm going on a trip with my ex, you can't stop me".
Great point. One of my favorite lessons learned while on TRP is allowing the other person to hang themselves with the rope.
Gotta love how any behavior that she disagrees with is "abuse". What a dumb cunt.
That is the go to for them now. They're so accustomed to getting their asses kissed, when you don't is abusive in their fragile minds.
Agreed. Nothing abusive about saying cool, next though.
It sucks, these types of women claiming abuse ruins the legitimacy of women who are actually being abused. Never know what the real story is anymore...
no kidding, ive been there, almost lost my career because of it. never again. the second a woman im interested in tells me shes been abused, instead of pity her, i am forced to take it as a red flag.
Same. It comes out of her mouth, I develop an exit strategy.
Quote from a girl to me today: "im a brat, im used to getting what i want and guys doing whatever for me, sorry" (I wish I was joking)
I was mad at her for saying extremely disrespectful things to me, and she didn't even understand that it wasn't ok to say mean things because she's so used to guys keeling over so they can get the pussy.
Don't say sorry, put my cock in your mouth.
The proper response to her comment.
When it comes out of her mouth it typically means she wasn't actually abused. She's a self-diagnosed pity case. The real cases of abuse come out in different ways, not that they're any less red flag worthy, just easier to not hate.
Like Neo in the Matrix, Jesus. There are so many things that scream "gtfo" in her rationalization and behavior
Pete dodging bullets.
Seeing as how this it TRP, it just made so much sense, haha.
I mean... That's the only thing she's right about. Ultimatums are terrible tools to be using from either gender. If a woman offers me an ultimatum or it's over, I'm just gonna say it's over.
Yeah holy fuck, the way she instantly resorts to 4th wave feminist/victim rhetoric the second she gets called out on her bullshit. To think there are guys out there stuck with women like that...
There was a post about how ultimatums are a proof of helplessness. It is but a tool of a helpless, weak men. Now I don't remember the title sadly.
Shes clearly a manipulative delusional psychological abuser
Fuck, he could give Neo lessons in bullet dodging. She's crazy in more ways than one.
That line to me was like a red flag knowing this was some strong independent woman who I wouldn't want to put up with.
Could you imagine staying with her? Any heated argument and she might call you an abuser after yelling. That's dangerous.
This illustrates the importance of stoicism and detachment when presented with tests such as these. Had the boyfriend reacted emotionally when she told him about the trip, she would've felt justified in her actions and her trigger-happy slinging of the "abuser" label. What's more, she would've likely lied about the nature of her relationship with the ex and only trickle-truthed him months after she had slept with her ex.
Instead, Pete maintained his calm and dodged a massive bullet. Kudos to him.
Also, Dave should stop talking himself out of getting laid.
Yup Dave fumbled hard before the goal line there.
Yeah...like..you got a girl going to another country for you...she's clearly down, if she tells you something amazing like her boyfriend broke up with her, act like it's horrible and give her comfort/empathy...even though you're secretly excited
Though it is hilarious that Dave blew his load early, because she now gets to realize what's really going on instead of lying to herself
Plot twist: Dave knows what he said. He's already got 2 other plates lined up in that area code.
Double-plot twist: Dave is a red pill alpha male that is going to Amsterdam with his girlfriend and never intended on getting together with this chick.
triple PT: dave has no idea about the situation, it was pete pretending to be him the whole time to shit test her
Lmfao but that's a little too much investment
I'm sure that she'll still fuck ol' Dave; her hamster seems up to any and all tasks.
He should have banged her one more time before breaking up with her when he went over. :)
letting your dick think for you isn't the smartest play
True, but... if you can pull it off and not be stupid, then banging out one last good qualify fuck can be mighty satisfying. Then as you're leaving, stop at the door and lean in saying, "oh by the way, I'm breaking up with you" as you :mic drop: and hop in the car.
And then you wake up the next day with 2 police officers knocking on your door asking for your saliva...
This. Society has shown that doing things like this are objectively against your own safety from the law. Gambling with a potential deck of cards stacked against you in the form of the woman-are-wonderful-legislative-apparatus is your own doing. Don't complain if you have the information and decide your a badass.
Never. Stick. Your dick. In crazy. It is not worth it today. We all think it's bullshit. A lot of women think it's bullshit. Doesn't change the fact that you hear stories about it all the time.
That's why you RECORD EVERYTHING. Sex tapes are fun making as well. Just saying.
Lol, can be a big 'but', depending on the person, but you're totally right
She sounds like the type to cry rape in such a circumstance.
Yea, I didn't even consider that. Maybe have your recorder on your phone turned on (but the screen off) and near you while you're doing the deed?
too much work bro.... dont even let the bitch get "one last taste"... just move on and BREATHE and realize ur the fucking man with or without pussy .
He thought he was "in" when she agreed to the trip with him to Hamsterdam. Rookie mistake.
He didn't understand the need to diffuse her hamsterbomb.
He was. She's pretending he wasn't.
She was going to fuck him for sure, but she also wanted to hang on to her stable boyfriend. When that fell through I think she was hoping for a kind of branch swing back to her ex, or have it both ways and make the trip to Amsterdam then come back and reconcile with her boyfriend with whatever excuses she could rationalize about the trip. Problem was Dave showed his hand so she figured out she was just going to be a fucktoy and not a potential girlfriend.
She's got cognitive dissonance. Two conflicting ideas in her head and if ever the two should meet you are going to see sparks fly. She can't hold both the idea that she's a "good girlfriend" and flying to another country to cheat on her ex so her brain stitches together a useful lie that reconciles the two ideas - she's just going there to hang out. After she gets drunk and fucks him, she'll then move onto the next lie of "it was a drunken mistake" to free herself of blame. No one is ever the villain in their own personal narrative. She literally believes both of those lies.
Dave fucked up by pulling back the curtain and forcing her to confront the truth.
Learning about cognitive dissonance changed my life, being a big part of this sub is self-improvement, realizing you are the the bad guy is really useful sometimes. If you're interested in being coherent and having desired outcomes. Also, I'm drunk and can't sleep.
Yup!!! If I take her on a trip, and she is forced to sleep in the same room, I'm going to get some for sure!!!
(Lesson learnt: last minute 2nd hotel rooms are expensive)
Yep. He pretty much knows it's over the moment she says she's going on the trip, their conversation was just the confirmation. No need to get angry at that point, she's demanding his submission and Pete has no interested in submitting. It could be anything, but once your girl begins to demand your submission, and she will, you have no choice in the matter, the relationship is as good as over.
well, he did give her an out. Had she came to her senses on his appropriate comment, it would have worked out just fine. She may have been too dense to know the boundary before... She knew it now though.
If it's real, she knew that it was unacceptable, but it was a big shit test.
There comes a point for alpha/type A men who are intelligent when you just have to cut the cord, and this was that point. Simply put, this is a RPed man to some extent and he understands (again to some extent that's hard to know) that women will always attempt to make him submit and that it's either her way or the highway. You can't game your woman for life, you're either her beta or you're of no use to her. A genuine alpha who is healthy will never allow himself to be truly submissive to a woman, it's highly unnatural. This guy is intelligent, so he knows that once a woman starts pushing his boundaries that no amount of game or what TRP considers 'alpha' will change this.
A lot of people in this subreddit are confused at the idea of an alpha being cheated on, even though it happens. It's kind of brushed under the carpet because they think that if you're just good enough she'll be nice and submissive and not cheat and whatever. The truth is that women require a beta, they need a victim to leech onto, not an alpha. Women like fucking alphas but what they truly truly want is a high status beta. There's nothing more attractive to a woman than a high status beta, nothing! So this guy knows that even if he does 'put her in her place' so to speak, that she won't be satisfied. She doesn't care about this guy who's going to meet her in Amsterdam, it's a shit-test to see if he's going to be her beta. It's a lose-lose situation for an alpha guy because if he submits, then he's gone against his nature, and if he doesn't submit then he's demonstrated that he's an unfit mate.
All you can hope for if you genuinely want a LTR with a woman is to be the best beta possible, the most attractive beta. If you're a beta you still can't allow her to go, but you must submit by not dumping that slut for even considering it, let alone doing it without your permission. If you don't dump her immediately like this guy did, you're her beta. So no, it's not about her 'knowing her boundaries'. Women have no boundaries, it's about testing his boundaries.
the boundaries were his, I agree.
her boundaries are only what her social circle will shame her for. Was a lovely quote on that from someone in here a few days back
But her social circle will only shame her for giving the game away, not for wanting to control her man. All women understand that women want to control their men and they'll support each other in that regard. This was certainly not pushing the boundaries with regards to her social circle.
This wasn't a test. It was just a woman being stupid and stubborn.
The guy reacted perfectly and she got what she deserved. Her ass kicked out the door.
Which is how they test. Losing the test is reacting to them being stupid and stubborn, AKA being a woman.
Women do test men on purpose.
This was not one of those times.
When she said "I told him I was free to see who I wanted" she forgot to add "without any consequences". Sure, she can go party it up with an ex and most assuredly fuck him, but any man with a spine is going to dump her at that point.
She accidentally admitted she was going there to fuck him.
Man, that was me in my marriage, wife telling me she didn't appreciate me raising my voice at her, accusing me of being like her abusive dad, or me asking her about hanging out late with her "friends" and the controlling accusations would pile on! I never knew not reacting and walking away was an option until I woke up and found TRP. Women love to scare you with that abuser shit because we don't want to be labeled that, or worse, I am terrified of police being involved because of some manipulative threats.
On single guys their favorite word to try to control you is "creepy". In relationships it's "abuser". It's all about getting what they want at no cost.
Creepy tends to be used when a guy hits on them they don't find good looking, no matter how they approach. Yet, if George Clooney or Pierce Brosnan approaches them in the same manner, they will call him charming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbeEuYAZFL4
No, creepy is used only when guys hit on them and the guys are unattractive
Pete's a role model for the males overdosed on the BP.
Well, guess the blue pill hamster would spin. 'She had never the intentions to have sex in Amsterdam', 'It's not her fault', ... You cannot convert a blue piller if he does not want to.
Yep. Basically stoic as fuck. I used to be like Phil when I was younger, but turned more beta in my late teens and 20s (when I became needy I guess). A lot of men in my life shamed my behavior as being narcissistic or w/e even though I was a good kid.
Turned beta real quick. Stayed wierd, skinny, played way too much video games, jacked off alot and wondered why girls didn't like me.
Indeed a role model, as in I sniff a troll in that perfect story. Sounds written a bit too much from the perspective of Pete to begin with and in essence it's TRP porn. I'm not buying this is real. But good theoretical exercise.
Men just remember, there is no pussy in the entire world worth trusting this much. Even if this is a troll post, this is a valuable lesson, you aren't bound to anything besides yourself
I'm impressed at the amount of women shitting on OP. You usually don't see that in that sub.
Because he held frame, no matter what feminist says, they respect a man who respect himself, even if he "doesn't respect women"
Holding frame is an aphrodisiac. Girls will flip like a switch in the presence of a man who knows this shit.
I think it's more because women know women best. And a "committed relationship" is still something the hamster holds dear. To accept Amsterdam is to accept promiscuity zero which on paper is not good.
A battle of the hamsters, if you will.
It's slut shaming, basically.
"Grow up, cancel your flight, and leave both ex's alone and maybe just maybe learn from this experience. You prioritized everyone but your SO in this story. Maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship for a while"
Jesus, that's brutal. They weren't pulling any punches huh.
Sure you do.
I warned my last girlfriend her tire had dry rot and needed to be replaced. She blew a tire on the way home that day. her and her friends were pissed at me because I wasn't stern enough when I warned her.
Women are masters of redirecting feelings, especially anger.
The irony of the entire thing as if you were stern with her she'd pissed at you that she didn't have a car and couldn't hang out with her friends.
Welcome to my life. Her reasoning (if you want to call it that) was that since I work for a dealership I should have understood how dangerous it was. I did understand how dangerous it was, having experienced two blowouts one at at 85mph in my last car.
Then three months after she dumps me for a bar owner, she wrecks her car and asks if I can help her find a new one; since I go to all the wholesale auctions and whatnot. I didn't even bother responding.
Good. She's someone else's problem now.
Exactly. The problem is, she lives a block away from me on the main drag in town. I see her every other week and she pretends she didn't see me - which is perfectly fine. She was with the bartender, cheated on him with a restaurant owner down the road (I shit you not) and they were together for a year. Now she's single again. Its hilarious!
Because her fucking up so flagrantly shits on any future plausible deniability they might want to take advantage of.
Even the white knights are batting for him for once. Beautiful thing to see
what's interesting is that if you had posted it from Petes perspective before the breakup, asking "what do I do?", the crowd would have almost certainly lambasted him for being controlling and not having trust in his partner. People respect strength.
Yeah, me too. I've read a fair bit in that sub, and as of late, it's been a little less fem-centric in my opinion. Still lots of dumb shit though, obviously. Lol.
Probably because these women are all single angry hambeasts. And OP squandered a good deal these women would kill for- therefor OP is rejected from the sisterhood.
They don't even have to be single. The fact that most of their b/f's are probably weak and as emotional as them. This dude is a dream.
"What should I do?"
"Have you considered calling him abusive for dumping you?"
I saw that comment, that person deserves a medal.
This should be side-bar material. I've had many "ah-ha" moments with potential LTRs similar to Pete's. As soon as you break out the sarcastic smile (in the UK girl's words), it's almost comical how quickly they realize that they fucked up.
Women aren't used to fucking up. They get away with everything nowadays. So when she finally manages to find a man with some balls, the dumping comes at them silently.
That moment in the conversation when she's already dumped, but doesn't know it yet.
The way shes talking about 'controlling is abusive' an all that shit I thought this was like an American feminist from some small weird town of farmers or something.
I mean this whole LEARN HOW TO BE MANLY shit is sad to read too, but do we really have women like this over here?
Where abouts, down South somewhere?
I know its a troll post but I wonder if theres any women who actually sincerely think that way. She seems insane to me but not in a feminist or SJW type of way... Just like insane connecting abusive behaviour to not going on holiday alone with a man.
So she wants to spend time with ex, how lovely. Every ex is a friend for woman.
I read the whole thread there and here and apparently everyone has missed a huge red flag.
If your partner ever wants to take a vacation without you, THEY ARE CHEATING.
No one who is in a meaningful relationship would go on a vacation without their partner. Let alone one with an acknowledged former lover!
Finally someone who lays it out there. It signals a loss of attraction. Women know fully well that vacation equals away from boyfriend/in the presence of horny men/booze and partying. In a way they've already decided to cheat.
Think about it, what's the first thing you think about when you know your going on vacation? Fucking Fucking Fucking.
Women are no different, vacation means strange cock and 'whatever happened in ___ stays in ___'
With family would be the only exception to this rule..
[permanently deleted]
I'll share a story.
I went to my class reunion last year. I'm single (I only plate and pump and dump.).
The first night at my reunion, a Thursday, I hooked up right away with a married woman that was super hot in school and had maintained it. She didn't bring her husband. Thursday night we went back to her room and she jacked my cock and gave me head while she talked to her husband on the phone and told her kids goodnight.
The next morning I canceled my room and moved all my stuff in to her room that her husband was paying for.
We played it cool at the reunion but every afternoon and night we were back in her room getting sloppy. We weren't the only ones doing this. Every attractive woman who wasn't with their significant other was doing the same thing.
The Sunday morning brunch came around and the reunion ended. Except for those of us that were doing the reunion hump. All of the relationship people that were cheating contacted their significant others and told them we were all going on a boating trip that afternoon and it was true. There were 36 of us on a nice house boat and we were taking pictures of the ladies and the men and never anyone together. Women were posting this shit on Facebook. What they didn't post was the romance room, where we'd slip off to one after the other for some goodbye banging.
We had a blast.
Monday evening she texts me and tells me how she made up this story about falling on the boat and bruising her ass for her husband. She didn't fall on the boat, it was from me spanking her ass so hard the whole damned thing was one huge black and purple bruise.
Point is, if anyone is going away for a weekend without their partner, you can bet your ass they are doing it specifically to get away from their partner. That is a fact.
When someone "loves" you they want you with them, always, for every memorable moment in their life.
[permanently deleted]
Sure, a few unattractive people didn't. Both men and women.
For the most part the attractive people who were alone there paired off and attractive people who had their partners with them seemed understanding and hung out with us, except for Sunday afternoon.
Why the fuck would anyone want to create life long memories without the person they supposedly love?
"Remember that day in Jamaica? Oh, that's right, you weren't there."
[permanently deleted]
Um... OK. I don't do the whole SO thing but if you don't want yours around cool by me.
[permanently deleted]
I have no reason to do LTR at this point I'm 50, I've had 4 kids, I'm attractive and have a good job. There is absolutely nothing for me in a LTR.
Your guy trips did you or any of the guys cheat? There's your answer.
The question he asked was quite simple. Do I respect someone with no respect for myself or do I respect myself. The choice was simple. I've been in the same situation and responded in the exact same manner.
Pete, I don't know you, but I already love you!!! nohomo
Fuck that, this is a proper man. fullhomo (j/k)
Phew, thank god you said j/k at the end there. I was a bit concerned
Ah, yes, the "GRRRRL POWER!" pressure flip. The "grown up" version of "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!"
Oy. See this is the thing: While she is free to visit the ex, she is not entitled to a relationship with her bf on exclusively her own terms--and vice versa, of course.
Yes, accusing and shaming in response to your partner's apprehensiveness...not plus move. But they do it because of solipsism. She never considered how he might feel about it, if the situation was flipped.
Du-uh. Thus proving Pete was right the whole time, that it wasn't a good idea.
And BOOM! goes the dynamite!
Used to love. Before she decided to go spend a week in Hamsterdam with an ex-bf who clearly wants to fuck her.
Magic 8 Ball sez: You, Hamsterlady.
Go see a proctologist and ask him to find your head.
Clearly.
"Go see a proctologist and ask him to find your head"
That's a great line. I'm totally using that.
"Hamsterdam"
Ahhhhhh! Well done!
Man this post is great. It's funny because you see so many guys on AskTRP all the time post about how their LTR is going on a long trip to Europe or another country without him and if they should be worried.
I always laugh at them and tell them if your LTR is going on a long trip to a foreign country without you, she doesn't respect you and its one giant comfort test. It's absolutely demote to plate/next behavior with no exceptions. If you let her do it and let her get away with it, you will be walked over for the rest of your life.
It's like those GEICO commercials. "If a woman goes on a trip to Europe without you, they will seek out foreign cock. It's what they do"
LOL reminds me of an old SOE propaganda letter they'd bomb Germans with in WWII:
"THE FOREIGN LABOUR STICKS IT IN GOOD AND HARD!" picture of a polish guy in a german girl.
"I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness." Mfw
This was a great post to read for a new comer/beginner such as myself. Really shows the power of holding frame, not just for the sake of women, but most importantly yourself. Holding frame is really holding onto you self respect. Self Actualization is so important on this red journey. Seeing the code and believing you are the one.
Exactly. The man is the leader in a relationship. Everything you let slip by not holding frame is an open invitation to her. But holding frame is nothing more than a healthy dose of self-respect.
This has to be fake.
I can't bring myself to believe someone that stupid not only exists, but then posts their story to reddit as if she were the one slighted
I believe it only because I have seen plenty of women do arrogant things like this and then can't believe it when shit goes wrong. It's the new: "I can do what ever I want and should have no consequences" attitude
I know plenty of grown ass educated women that would play that out exactly the same. Incapable of understanding how they can be treated in this manner. Abusive, blahblah. solipsism, pure/unadulterated...
Pete deserves an honorary EC Flair in absentia for this level of perfection.
This man is full of self respect, this is great.
She definitely has no respect for the relationship, wtf going to a trip alone to party, do drugs and drink...
He acted like a real champ, wow I'm truly impressed by the self control here too. TRP philosophy is the best ;)!
In this day and age... Isn't the ignorance of women amazing?
Honestly, it's one of the reasons I don't hang out with them. They bore the shit out of me.
It's either ignorance // or // a projected denial of her actual plans to fuck her ex-bf shrouded in a veil of virtue signaling ("I won't be owned" ""I am capable of platonically traveling with ex-bf//another man"")
Yeah right bitch.
Either you're
A. really stupid
or
B. even more cunty than you appear
And to be honest, I almost always place women into one of these two categories (and let's be honest, some of them run machiavelli game at a level that deserves some fucked up sort of respect). Not because I want to, but based on experience I've found it to be appropriate. It helps me remember not to trust women's knowledge or motives.
I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers.
You mean like "Either don't say anything about me going to Amsterdam to fuck my ex or I'm going to call you an abuser?"
The ex's response though. Top fucking kek.
Yes, these are the twin characteristics of a partner's behavior that really matter...
1) They have to be smart enough to know that every advance, phone number request, friend-request, ex-boyfriend contact, etc probably has alterior motives. Or not even smart, just appropriately skeptical of people...
2) Then they have to put you first.... they have to choose to respect you and never even give the impression of cheating, to you or to anyone who's interested.
"But I really thought he just wanted to be friends!!"... Nope sorry, NEXT. It doesn't really matter if she is being devious or being stupid, the result is the same...
Exactly
By claiming/projecting number 1-- that she doesn't think there's potentially sexual advances involved (when reality she's pretending to be oblivious so that...),
it allows her to number 2-- go on the trip and bang her ex bf,
mixed in with a little of number 3 which, the flipside of which shows her true intention-- virtue signalling: where she brings in some truly despicable appeals to guilt/social shame "hey, I do what I want, you don't own me, I'm a free woman!" -- as in "Hey, I can fuck around with anyone b/c I don't actually give a shit about you"
but the dude is smart enough to know this. he's skeptical of her story because he has enough experience with women to know how devious and machiavellian they are.
I grew up with sisters, lots of aunts & female cousins... and now I get to watch a niece grow up. It's awesome to watch a 2 year old play games with peoples minds.
one must simple observe them, experience their ruthlessly self-centered nature, be scammed by them, etc. -- and how they hide it all under various pretenses -- to understand how little responsibility and respect they deserve
i mean.. they deserve respect where respect is reserved for psychopaths and machiavellian types. beyond that though, they don't offer much.
For number 2, I think the phrase is "Caesar's wife should be above reproach."
She knew what was up.. She can't even be honest on the internet
I'm going to have one my next drinks to Pete's health.
Huge shoutout to Pete, you're a real one brother!!!
This my fellow shitlords is the reaction of a guy who's been through bullshit before. No pleading or questioning, because he already knew what was going to happen.
Here's the funny part. She knew exactly what was up and had fucked the guy if things would have gone down differently. But because her boyfriend was a real man she keeps up this laughable charade of pleasurable deniability. Like she had no play in the matter.
I really feel for that guy because he did the right thing but couldn't help but feel disappointment at female kind letting him down once again. She could have saved her relationship but instead tried to have it all and now she has nothing.
On a meta level this is exactly what women will get. Right now they are trying to have it all. Men are waking up and soon or later they will get nothing. All you'll have is allot of pump and dump sex slaves running on an endless supply of government sponsored birth control.
Hooray
It wasn't sarcasm.
That, my friends, is the look of disappointment and acceptance.
This girl is mainly upset because she lost her fun time. The idea of spending time with an ex, edging on sexual tension and drugs; that was why she wanted to go. When she lost the boyfriend, she lost all the naughty tingles, and her ex became a dude again.
She can't giggle with her friends and say "Hee-hee, I'm such a whore lol" if she loses the power game, which she did.
This has to be a troll post.
Implying it's possible to tell real stories from troll posts. In the current dating scene they're indistinguishable.
To be honest some commentators are calling "TROLL" on it as the OP contains a lot of "buzzwords" for abusive relationships, but knowing what we know here, this can very much be completely real.
She also made an edit stating "I KNOW I FUCKED UP PLEASE HELP ME".
The author of the post knows womens' psyche well, but this is not something women/girls would post. If you've ever dealt with girls, you would know that they will paint themselves in the most angelic way possible. This is a bait post to invoke an emotional response.
I treat posts like this like half truths. Even if they aren't real stories you can learn from the comments. One dead give away is the writing style. If it's to concise and to-the-point a dude wrote it.
Even if it is, it's a great example of how holding frame will not only get you out of bad situations before they happen, but also how the "public opinion" (the SJW subreddits opinion in this case) about your actions are completely dependable of how you handle the situation. Someone further down said:
Had he started screaming at her or telling her not to go, every single one of the commentators would have told her to leave her abusive boyfriend.
Normally I'd praise suspected troll posts for generating real responses from betas, but in this particular case, the author fabricated a story in such a manner to depict a woman so foul and objectionable that no matter what a man could do, not a single reader would align themselves with the woman.
It's a great example of holding frame, but it's not particularly realistic when dealing with women. Very few women will be as abrasive and direct as the woman depicted in the post. Most will gaslight and manipulate men so deceptively that it won't appear as such.
[permanently deleted]
This right here. BPD people are cut from a different mold.
Every BPD person I've ever met has been a woman. Though I'd rather say they were "girls" since "woman" doesn't happen until the wall.
Very probable troll but good copy pasta nonetheless.
Yup. It was obviously written by a man.
It was most likely written by a man that wasted a fuck ton of energy dealing with a woman who went to Amsterdam and cried and begged and found out she accidentally cheated.
Then he went back and wrote an alternate reality version of what he wished he had done. I'd give him a pass it's a good story.
I like to think its real, but hamsters physically cant run that fast
Original post seems fake to me. For someone showing entitlement she sure writes herself into a perfect red pill discussion topic.
Lessons learnt:
Be like Pete
Also, there's a new alpha widow on the market.
Pete gave tingles even to me, frame like a diamond. That guy deserves a golden female.
No harsh words, no ultimatums, no anger, just HELD FRAME
He just didn't hold frame, he was bulletproof with that one!!!!!
Goddamn genius this right here. When I read this, I couldn't think of any more perfect response. When I was young and stupid (over a decade ago), I wish I would have been this cool.
As another poster said, it gets easier with age to hold this kind of frame to just fucking walk away.
That was "easy," let's say. They didn't live together or had kids or anything. If he had been any more committed, the bitch would've come after him for every penny he has. But yes, he did it right. I would've jumped out the moment I heard "international trip with my ex."
Beautiful story, Happy ending.
Seems like men in the UK are growing their balls back more and more each day.
After reading a post like this I just know today is going to be a good day.
Something tells me it wouldn't be all fine and dandy if the shoe was on the other foot and he told her he was leaving to meet up with some ex in Amsterdam and told her not to worry.
Bingo. Women often pull stunts like this that they KNOW they wouldn't accept themselves if the situation were reversed.
i feel like that post was bait. Wouldn't be surprised if you made that post yourself OP with an alt. It says everything us RPillers wanna hear and Pete strokes our egos too well. hell the user account is five hours old and this post is 4 hours old. this shit lines up too well for me to believe.
holy shit. looks like this was just some TRP porn. You guys buying into this need to remember part of being RP is seeing through bullshit even when it panders to your non BP views.
Sad that so many people here fell for it.
Even the relationships sub knew it was fake.
I post a lot of cross posts from that subreddit that I think contains RP ideas or philosophy.
Im not arguing the OP doesnt sounds like "the perfect storm" but the fact remains that it is a very sound advice on how to handle a situation like this, if it's true or not matters less.
I think the core of RP is seeing through smoke and mirrors regardless of whether what i see fits my narrative.
His stoicism sent her hamster into full overdrive. good on him he dodged a wreck. I wouldn't be surprised to hear pete is one of the 158K on this domreddit
Pete is an "abuser" because he didnt let her do whatever she wanted AND also stay by her side. Lol. Good stuff.
That being said, the story seems a bit fake to me. Just reeks of too many perfect little points that make her seem like a total oblivious moron. Can anyone really be that stupid? I'm not sure if over ever met anyone yet who is that stupid.
This is an excellent post & thanks for it.
With all the demoralizing stories we hear and men getting shit on constantly by the media, it's great to hear a story which sets a great example for how it needs to be played, and holding frame like a pro.
Awesome.
This is why intelligence agencies have been scrambling to recruit women. They lie and don't even realize it. The KGB was a master at this.
She brought up abuse multiple times when literally nothing was happening at all, holy shit. What goes on in these peoples' heads?
This guy is actually doing the lords work. He's out in the world interacting with women and he actually has a modicum of self respect as to not let her get away with this bullshit.
Regardless of what happened between them, I think she just got clued in. Good for her.
If a woman ever says this to you, just next her right there on the spot.
Yes. You show a girl a boundary. If she chooses to ignore it and crosses that boundary anyway, it's up to you decide if you wish to keep a girl who has no respect for your boundaries.
Guys who think they might lose someone by enforcing his boundary, is going to be too flexible with his wishes, needs and self-respect. He might think she just had a bad day, or maybe he sees it wrong or whatever his mind spins up for to serve a reason not to stand up for himself.
I've been there and it's a shitty position to be in. Fear of losing someone by saying no, is a sure way of self destruction in any situation.
Dude needs a red pill medal.
I lol'ed at this cunt getting exactly what she deserves. She'll probably go and bang the guy anyway
Two possibilities exist:
or
In either case ... bye.
My post in that thread:
-- You deceived him.
-- You were so dim that you didn't understand that Dave was looking for party sex. Or (and I think this is more likely) you were so little invested in your fidelity to Pete that you were happy to toddle off to Amsterdam and if a bit of something happened with Dave . . . well, it would all be down to the drugs and the holiday, right? Not REALLY your fault.
-- When caught, you tried to manipulate and emotionally blackmail Pete with imprecations that his perfectly reasonable opposition to your outrageous behavior was "abusive." (And on that subject, Pete administering a jolly good spanking on the way out the door would have been understandable even if, sadly, frowned upon these days.)
-- Now you are here seeking affirmation here, among strangers, for your folly and bad behavior.
It's this simple, young lady: You're not suited for an adult, committed relationship. You may someday be. Indeed, if you make an effort to learn from this event through some serious self-examination, it may turn out to be one of life's pivot points.
But here's the scorecard for this round: Pete acted liked a perfect gentleman. Dave acted like the sort of bounder too many men are. And you acted like a spoiled, addle-headed little brat. Learn your lesson. <<<
Just so you know, if the relationship-mods see this comment they are going to ban you.
You could be right, and that would be OK. But, perhaps surprisingly, my comment comes off as maybe just to the right side of the mean.
It's kind of encouraging that with the exception of a few "You go, girl" type comments, most tend this way.
That account will be shadowbanned from that sub just for posting here.
What the Hell would they ban him for?
If they catch you "coming from this subreddit" they call it "brigading" and feel like you are pushing an agenda instead of giving relationship advice.
(I know Im banned from posting)
That's just ridiculous. If the information fits, it fits. Who gives a shit where you're subbed? I hate people. I really do.
To be fair I think they gave me a warning and let me back after I apologized but I guess I slipped up again somewhere...
We should be able to vote a mutiny and take over the sub.
[permanently deleted]
People are so stupid!
I've had people laugh with the "hahahhaa" because they see I'm subbed to mgtow. I mean, really? Hell, they've commented when they see I'm subbed to watchpeopledie. Like, big deal? Doesn't mean I have issues.
Our opinions are still valid.
Yeah, I know. "Bounder." But I was trying to make a point. From her perspective, to act for two seconds like Dave isn't planning to hit that is crazy. In fact, as I suggested, no adult woman is that dumb. She knew where she was going and why, and just trying front-load deniability.
It's fucked up he said pete could have rightfully beat her up a bit and it'd be ok. And got upvotes
Hmm. You think a spanking would have been "beating her up"?
That's . . . interesting.
I thought it was a euphemism my bad
Nope. I meant a literal spanking.
[permanently deleted]
How did you find out that she cheated?
A week after she got back we were pretty drunk watching a movie on netflix, had a small argument regarding hanging out with ex's, and she blew up and said she slept with him while they were on zoomies.
We were living together at the time too so that was interesting. I was lucky, I had some savings and access to a truck/trailer through work and I wasn't on the lease of the house. So the next day I took a half day off work and moved into a bachelor suite mid month.
I told her that morning I would be moving out by the end of the day because I didn't want to leave her high and dry for rent if she couldn't afford to pay for my half, but that was the end of it.
And guess what? Her ex moved in with her not a month after! Hahaha I thought that was pretty entertaining. So many problems I didn't see ahead of time.
While we may have started watching a movie, and had what started as a small argument, I was not the one who blew up initially. I also wouldn't have cheated on you had you not launched a personal verbal attack on my mother, stepfather, dead father, and myself. You also left out the part where you punched two holes in the walls, and the part where I said you if you wanted you could have sex with [a particular woman from work you were interested in]. The first hole the night you verbally attacked me and my family, the cause for me to cheat, the second after I told you I cheated. Do you remember how I told you after the first hole that hitting the wall is just an effigy for me?
It wasn't the next day that you moved out, it was nearly two months later. After we had "worked through it", after you had sex with the woman you were interested in, more importantly: after you had beat me; another key point you left out. Had you not told me that you expected me to hit you when you got in my face with your verbal attacks, I wouldn't have ever thrown the first punch. While I started the fight, you being almost a foot taller and at least 80lbs heavier, shouldn't have fought back to the degree you did. Putting me in a chokehold while wrapping your legs around me was an excellent way to end the fight. If anyone is interested, I can link the pictures to back this up.
It was the morning after that you moved out. You didn't say anything to me in the morning, you just left for work. I wouldn't have known had I not gone home on my lunch break, that's when you told me. It was when I got home from work at the end of the day that I showed you my bruises and you seemed mildly remorseful. A week later, I think it was, we were talking again. That started the on-again-off-again portion of our relationship which ended just earlier this week, because you seemingly finally understood that I don't want to be 100% monogamous.
It wasn't a month after you left that he moved into the basement room, it was nearly 6 months later. Which, timeline wise, puts the recent ending to our relationship 4 months after that fact. It's not that you didn't see them, it's that you chose to ignore them from the beginning. I told you from the start I am bad at monogamy because I am more of a nonmonogamous/polyamorous minded person, yet two years later here we are.
I want to watch the bro movie with Dave Thundercock and her now ex boyfriend partying it up in Amsterdam.
She's getting torched in the comments. It's glorious.
Girls are so fucking stupid. She had a good thing going with a solid guy but threw it all away for the 'feelz' and a night of fun with some alpha cock. Absolutely no long term thinking or foresight whatsoever.
I wouldn't even consider the ex to be alpha cock tbh, just cock.
We need to invite this guy to our sub to hear more of his story.
The beauty of this kind of frame holding is that there is no story. Pete's gf told him she was going to Amsterdam, he asked a few questions, figured out what was going on, decided it was bullshit and unacceptable, and broke up with her.
End of story.
Women ask why men have nothing to talk about (real men). This is why - there's no drama, there's no motivations, just boundaries, violations of said boundaries, and consequences. Asking for more story is like asking for the story of why a tree fell over when it was cut down. The cut got made, the tree fell down, end of story.
I agree with you. I guess I meant that this guy probably has a wealth of beneficial knowledge in holding frame.
Has boyfriend. Decides to travel by plane for an ex because of a phone call. Shocked when boyfriend is unhappy. Shocked when ex just wanted to hook up. Outraged when boyfriend blocks her because, despite being called abusive repeatedly, loves her right?
This whole post just screams of solipsism. Even after all this, she has to question if she was wrong.
What a dumb bitch, plain and simple.
This is actually amazing and very inspiring, thank you!
Back when I was in an LTR, my girlfriend asked me what I thought of open relationships.
I said they weren't for me.
She then asked me what I would do if my hypothetical wanting-an-open-relationship girlfriend decided that she wanted to see other guys, did I think I could control her?
I said no, but I can decide what I will put up with and what I won't.
She shut up pretty fast after that.
I had an ex mention that once.. At first I said it wasn't for me.. Things got quiet.
Then I thought about it, "she wouldn't run this risk if she didn't have someone in mind".
So the next thing I said was," I think this relationship is over ". She said I had no proof something was going on, and I just said I didn't need proof.
Yep, if a woman ever mentions open relationship, it's code for I have a guy I am either fucking, or want to fuck and I don't think you can get other women.
I'm thinking it was "wanting to", but scared to be kicked out and homeless..
Jesus that was a doozy even for Relationships sub.
I honestly would have handled the situation the same way. Be calm and just let it go. After you break up then it is done. Cut off all comunication and start the the grieving process. the sooner the better.
This was funny. Please post more examples as you see them.
I think, that such trains of thought sometimes aren't the results of hamstering (psychological mechanism to protect the fragile ego in spite instincts) and instead are the results of blue pill conditioning (assumptions about nature of the premises of relationships between the sexes best describe as disneyesque). In this case the women might actually be oblivious to why going on vacation with an ex is a really bad thing from the perspective of her current bf's interest in her not getting fucked by other men. And why is this a case of blue pill conditioning and not hamstering? Well society have indoctrinated her into believing she is in full control of her desires, that men and women can be friends in a truly platonic way, that men think like women and lastly that blind trust is a prerequisite for a functioning relationship. She actually believes this shit, because that's what she's been told her entire lifetime, and she might actually be motivated by non-romatic interests in going on that vacation - I'm not saying she isn't liable to fuck the ex, but the hamstering of that would occur at a later point in time, unless she actually felt sexually attracted to him as soon as he wrote her, which by no means must necessarilybe the case. Obviously she's a fucking idiot, and her BF was a champ, but I'd guess she actually didn't understand why her bf didn't accept the blue pill tropes as unquestionably as she herself did.
I've always found that people asking for "blind trust" up front are usually con men/women.
No intelligent and trustworthy person asks another to trust them blindly, they realize that trust is earned.
My bet is it is hamstering on blue pill steroids, so a bit of both.
Hah, just read this for the first time. Reminds me of some women I dated. God, I really don't know how to pick them.
Pistol Pete just shootin' em down
well i'll be damned, the hamstering of this woman is incredible, notice how it's not her fault, how could she love him when she book a ticket to go see her ex, AWALT!
"How could he do that to someone he loves?"
Oh my. How is this possible? She thought she had him by the balls??
Cupcake didn't come to the internet for advice, she came to hear "you go gurl", which is what she always heard about her shitty behavior before. And it's not a wake up call, it's a disappointing lack of support for this strong independent black woman from internet misogynists.
The most important lesson is: Never go full feminazi.
Something I wish more guys would think about, it's not what the girls intentions are but the guys.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you wanted to spend alone time with a female who you had absolutely zero sexual interest in? I think most "Platonic" girlfriends, are girls that dudes were interested in but got delegated to the friend zone.
I think we all know this chick was going to go to Amsterdam and have Dave pay for her whole trip. Dave was then going to use any and all methods in a drug filled town to get those pants off. Then she was going to go back to Pete having her cake after eating it too, with "her little Amsterdam Secret" ..... smiling to the camera like life is some freaking "sex and the city" episode.
My hat is off to Pete. Don't get me wrong, Dave is an ass. Any guy who actively goes after someone else's girl is an ass. He's not an as for her going or for her saying she would go, those are all her fault.
But we can't have it both ways either. If she is incapable of self reflection, incapable of seeing "reality" of this situation, and has such a low IQ as many posters have implied .... or een if the girl is just playing the game of being dumb to have plausible deniability and flexibility to lie during and after the facts ... Then Dave is still an ass for either A) exploiting these weaknesses or B) playing the game to support her behavior.
and I guess that is what is best about Pete. He simply did not support the behavior and moved on.
Not sure if I said what I meant, but I have seen a lot of "game" on Red Pill. And I support a lot of the concept. But always look at yourself and see if you are "playing the game" and being a dumbass who perpetuates the behaviors that are so unacceptable to us that we write about them on a daily basis .... or are you "above the game" and refuse to accept these behaviors.
Too many times, I see people who are just playing the game.
Did you trawl that other sub and write this up just for fun? How much time did you spend on this? Your life must be really depressing
Holy shit i just upvoted a redpill post.
This is how you do it. Not that neckbear shit you guys used to spout.
Pete, my man! Wish I could give that guy a high 5 and buy him a drink.
Hmm I see calm and collected under pressure. Think about it
When MJ or Kobe need to score in the clutch they don't get emotionally riled up they stay calm.
Perfect Pete
Its not a fun story if no one in the comments goes "you go gurl!". Not one person sided with her. Even called her out on her entitlement and use of the word abuser.
This is what dumbness and narcissism looks like regardless of gender. The ability to be so far up your own ass
Everyone flamed her in the comments for her story, some even thought she was so ridiculous that she might be trolling
GIZE SHES JUST EXPRESSING HER SEXUALITY. U NO BY BEING A HORE!!!
And god bless 'em. I used to be a sweet little
gentlemanbeta pussy and "respect a woman's relationship." Now if I want something I reach out and take it. If I don't get a good hold on it, fine. But I take my shots and sometimes even get my just rewards.She knew what was going to happen in Amsterdam as well, whether she admitted it to herself or not. By not expecting anything or acknowledging anything, she could tell herself "it just happened" and "it wasn't really even cheating".
People who go online for relationship advice are mental. Like some internet troll is going to give you advice worth taking. And how clueless are some of these people.
I think this is a troll post designed to see just how far a woman can push and still get a favorable response on that shithole of a sub.
This, apparently, is too far. But not by much. I'd say if you remove the 'abuser' accusations, have her tell the bf up front about "Dave," and make the trip somewhere that isn't known (rightly or wrongly) for being a debauchery factory and the responses would be that Pete was a controlling douchebag.
You are missing the point, the relevancy got very little to do with her action, the fact that he "held frame" and decided that this is not who I want as a girlfriend is what is important.
Who cares if its a troll post, be happy that you or someone learned a lesson from it.
Thats why she has to know up front that you have options and will not take a slut back a woman who is aware of this would just sneak away to amesterdam she will not even mention something like this to a alpha or badboy its self explanatory get your game up and keep more bitches on stand by,. next.
Thank you for this post taracus! This is a great story! Pete is the man!
Op is fueling his post with a false controversy, this chick gets shit on by most replies. Pete handled things perfectly, but TRP is not a special snowflake for recognizing that.
Pete is the man , I like how he has " not presented her with any options " that's awesome . Sadly it's such bullshit calling him abusive tying to put him down so she can go fuck another guy
This feels too good to be true. Red pill circle jerk material. OP didn't even try to win any favors from her audience.
Regardless, it's still a good story and a good example of stoicism.
Pete reacted like a pro. Chapeau!
To be honest...my former BP me, would have went nuts on her..Acted like a hysterical bitch and ended up forgiving her. My ex created an OKC account et disappeared for 3 hours...and I forgave her because I was "in love", weak and listened to her hamster. Never again
For those who are not Chad, they have a hero, and his name is Pete. If you cannot be Chad, be Pete.
Man holds frame, leaves, and now has complete control over her.
Although maybe a troll post, still a good example of how to address this bullshit like a real man.
Im starting to understand Islam's perspective on women....this is so ridiculous I'm having trouble laughing at it. Someone please tell me this is a troll post.
This story is so epic - this woman is so stupid that even people who are not red pill think she's hilariously dumb. I told my family this story at a dinner recently had everyone in tears.
This is good stuff, I rarely upvote posts in this sub and I just did.
this is exactly what happened with my ex of over a year and I called her out on it. only I hadn't started the red pill back then so after I broke up with her I still wanted her back. I'm glad I'm here now though to correct my past mistakes.
Haha posts like this are just comedy. I love to see a woman's manipulative mind at work trying to justify all the shitty stuff she's doing. It's kinda sad at the end of the day though. Gotta keep that hamster wheeling spinning.
My question is, can he downgrade her to a mere plate and do her a few more times?
Also, there is a part that called my atention: "I tried to call him after, but he just texted me some bullshit about how this was for the best and that he wished me no ill will and hopes I'll be happy. He turned his phone off after whilst I bombarded him with texts and voicemails." After he held frame she went humble as hell.
With all the accusations of abuse in so short a time, for nothing at all, one can, perhaps, see a good argument for staying the fuck away from her forever.
[permanently deleted]
Holding frame == respect yourself more than someone you are in temporary relationship with.
Use it as a synonym and see if it makes more sense.
i think she really had no bad intentions to sleep with her ex, she's just a gullible girl (like most of them) and thought that her bf would be cool with it... now here's my backstory, one of my exes (my very first actually) is still a good friend of mine to this day. been for 10 years. i don't look at her in a sexual way and i don't think she does at me. i make it a point every time i've been in a new relationship to point this out to my current gf and saying that if there's a problem with that then it probably won't work out.
however, i can totally understand the mistrust issues that someone could have if their partner is going to see their ex for a week. both partners would really have to have a solid trusting relationship in that case to be able to be ok with that.