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To the young man I saw at the gym last night:

by 2016redditor | October 18, 2016 | TheRedPill

1148 upvotes

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I haven't seen you in here before. You seemed a bit unfamiliar with the environment, perhaps a bit uncomfortable. Your pale white skin and obvious lack of muscle tone confirms that impression. And your buddies were similarly soft. That's ok. Just learn to lift the right way and keep coming back.

I got the impression you have had your natural joy and self confidence hammered out of you by endless "socialization".

When our gaze happened to meet, you quickly averted your eyes and looked downward. There's no need for that. You have every right to be there too. I'm not there to challenge or intimidate you; I'm just getting a workout like everybody else. Relax and have fun, chat with the other members, it's good, friendly, low key gym.

You're a tall kid, well over 6 feet. But your hair is a sloppy mess - is that the fashion in your high school these days? Anyway, it makes you look weak and effeminate. The nerdy round tortoise shell glasses from the 1990's don't help any either. Can you afford contacts? Maybe save up a bit of money, get a side job.

You seem to have good facial structure, good basic build / bone structure, so with a few months of lifting, a good haircut, some decent clothes, and most important, steady confident eye contact and a bit of a smirk, you will be getting those cute little honeys flirting with you. Yes, those latina chicks in the yoga pants, I saw you eyeing them wistfully. They would totally get with a tall white boy like you, if you have just a bit of game and confidence.

I know it seems doubtful from where you are now. Just do the work. It will happen.

I hope I see you again soon. This time, look me in the eye, nod or say hi. I'll be happy to return the favor.


Post Information
Title To the young man I saw at the gym last night:
Author 2016redditor
Upvotes 1148
Comments 282
Date 18 October 2016 02:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/39496
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5841oe/to_the_young_man_i_saw_at_the_gym_last_night/
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Comments

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon550 points551 points  (112 children) | Copy

To anyone thinking about going to the gym, don't worry - most people don't give a fuck about anyone else and are just there to look at themselves.

If that's not enough to help get past the fear of judgement remember to compare yourself to people NOT at the gym, rather than those that are.

TL;DR: go to the gym for YOU, the rest is just noise.

[–][deleted] 138 points139 points  (52 children) | Copy

remember to compare yourself to people NOT at the gym, rather than those that are.

Good advice but it's impossible to follow. I'm bigger now than I've ever been but everyday at 5am I'm reminded that I'm forever small.

[–]Magnetosis123 points124 points  (31 children) | Copy

You never get any bigger, everybody else just gets smaller.

[–]tuxedoburrito45 points46 points  (25 children) | Copy

Haha I lift in the early mornings with all the body builders. I always feel so small, but I work hard. I lifted last night around 5pm and saw the usual night crowd: I never felt bigger in my life.

[–]madeaccfortrp10 points11 points  (21 children) | Copy

Is there a reason they all lift in the morning?

[–]1RPAlternate4234 points35 points  (19 children) | Copy

2 a days. Busy work. Habit. Like finds like.

[–]madeaccfortrp32 points33 points  (17 children) | Copy

2 a days.

This largely explains it.

The reasons I've heard are peak testosterone in the morning and its great for lifestyle. Knowing you've taken care of lifting gives you a good foundation for the rest of your day.

[–]FriedHayek4 points5 points  (13 children) | Copy

This explains why my friend started going at those hours.

[–]madeaccfortrp22 points23 points  (12 children) | Copy

Honestly, that seems like the best approach to getting discipline. Wake up so early that you can complete every essential task you've deemed for yourself. If that means 3 hours early, so be it. Go to the gym, make all the meals you need for the day, meditate.

After you're done with work, your entire schedule is clear. There is no more anxiety or thinking about "whether you're actually going to go to the gym today".

That mental freedom combined with the fact that you've just spent 6-10 hours dedicated to improving yourself+your career results in you utilizing the rest of your time effectively too.

[–]1RPAlternate427 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy

I'm currently working on moving my gym time back a bit each week until I can do it first thing in the morning... before I have to deal with kids and shit.

For me, since my wife is out the door by 0715, I need to be home by then, which means I need to be at the gym by 0615, which means I need to leave by 6:00 which means I need to be up at 0500. I have a rough few weeks ahead. Because I go to the gym at 1500 right now. Fortunately, I work from home, so I have the flexibility for this.

The downside to mornings, for me, is I'm ready fro a nap by 1000.

[–]BENDERisGRREAT1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is it true lifting in the morning as opposed to the afternoon gets your metabolism kickstarted as well?

[–]madeaccfortrp5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Inconclusive / Irrelevant. Any actual metabolic differences won't really matter. If morning lifting translates into better eating habits just due to logistics (you have less hours where you could potentially binge eat, you're more organized with your dieting habits, ect), that wouldn't be directly due to the exercise timing.

Lifting in the morning likely won't directly increase metabolism. Other factors might result in an overall increased metabolism.

Lifting in the morning --> Improved afternoon physical performance in a sport ---> Higher energy expenditure. That sort of thing.

https://www.google.com/#q=morning+weight+lifting+ncbi

[–]BENDERisGRREAT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting thanks for the info. Lifting myths are everywhere lol

[–]cthulhu_calling_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wish I could still do mornings. Made me refreshed and pumped for the day. I have to stick to afternoons now. I have to be at work by 0530 am. So morning gym time would be at 0400, tried it, and my day started to suffer.

[–]tuxedoburrito0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That sucks man! I'm sorry to hear about that

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same at my gym.. I go there at different times because of work.. The other day I woke up super early and got there by 5am.

Fuck I felt like baby!! Where did these monsters cone from

[–]EnriqueShockwave900010 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like I just got hit in the face with science. BRO SCIENCE 🔬

[–]40_SixandTwo0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I've been wanting to ask if other people experience this. I've put on some noticeable muscle but I still always feel like I haven't added any bulk, but when I'm around other people, it always seems like they've lost muscle and or gotten smaller.

Some of the bigger dudes I used to see in the gym all the time don't look as big as they do, and I can tell I've caught up to them height wise.

[–]Magnetosis0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah its just body dysmorphia, pretty much everybody who's serious about the gym gets it. My buddy has forearms the size of my quad and even he has days where he's convinced he's not much bigger than average. Happens to everyone, not much you can do to fix it other than accept that's how you feel on a given day and use it as motivation to train good (and logic out how you're not actually small even if you can't see it).

[–]40_SixandTwo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's interesting. I'll look that up. It happens all the time, like I said other people get smaller but I still feel like I'm the same size.

[–]1Soarinc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just remember these two quotes about Ben Franklin and you won't get bdd:

Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear!

Never use your eyes to measure -- use a ruler or take a piece of string, wrap around arm and measure the length of string -- use your eyes for what they're good at which is for fucking seeing

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (9 children) | Copy

I think most guys have a little bit of body dysmorphic disorder. They don't really have a good grasp of how other people perceive them, and tend to be over critical of their own body. From the skinny kid, trying to hide his "toothpick forearms" to the big guy frustrated that his calves are "grossly out of proportion", a lot of dudes are hating on themselves on things that nobody really notices but them.

Meanwhile, there's this thought that other people are judging them as well. Oh no! Someone might have saw that weak bench press! How embarrassing!

Reality is, nobody cares. In fact, it can be a little crazy how little people care. A good social experiment for anyone who doesn't have a good grasp of this, is to just wear something ridiculous in public. Go to a hardcore scary biker bar, in a light blue Hollister shirt, wear 2 different types of shoes, like a red tennis shoe and a black work boot, just look dumb on purpose... and then go out and see how many people even freaking notice, let alone give a damn.

Nobody gives a shit what you're doing in the GYM, guys.

[–]Mon_k7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

The reality is no one cared what you were doing while you were sitting at home playing video games, why would they suddenly start giving a Shit because you're at the gym instead?

You gotta care about yourself because no one else will; but don't care so much that you begin to "project" it on to those around you.

[–]1Soarinc7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a slippery slope though. Eventually you become the guy who just keeps 7 shirts in his closet that he never washes and just re-uses weekly.

Inner game is just as important as outer game, and the only person whose opinion you should concern with is your own. Not trying to knock on this advice -- just know that taking shortcuts will only come back to hurt you when it counts. If you don't follow the latest fashion trends and stock up on plenty of metro-sexual hair products, then you are at a serious disadvantage in the game of life, and will never achieve "highest possible hb#" in the mini-game of getting your dick wet.

/sarcasm

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]PinkySlayer1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I avoided the awkward spot asking by learning how to panic roll. There's videos on YouTube of it, but essentially when you fail on a bench press rep you lower the bar to your stomach and sit up while rolling the bar towards your legs and then rowing the bar down to the ground. It sounds scary or impossible but it's actually extremely easy. Try it with light weight first.

https://youtu.be/_c5-DM0WLlI

[–]JMCastillo860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't know i was doing this correctly the first time i tried to max without a spotter. i just kinda lifted it and rolled the bar to the point where i could sit up and push the weight off me.

[–]Snazzy_Serval0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I have the same issue.

I'm 5'5, 143 lbs struggling with a 95 lb bench and the guy next to me has two 45 plates on each end. Odds are I'll never be able to bench that much.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You would be surprised how much you can improve in the first couple of years of lifting.

[–]ItalianoVero0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been lifting for 2 years. I never took progress pictures because I don't care what I used to be and neither will anyone else. However, the one downside is that I still don't think my body has changed much at all, despite the fact that I'm way stronger and have gained muscle according to the scale.

Yesterday I ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in 2.5 years and he literally was shocked. He couldn't believe I was the same person (I was scrawny in high school).

So basically just realize that your own personal opinion of your body isn't really reflective of what most people think. Moreover, if you spend a bunch of time of bodybuilding/fitness forums, you will develop unrealistic expectations and requirements for yourself.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. I'm really only looking at the guys who are lifting more/better than me... because I'm studying their technique.

As for the weaker/worse lifters, I don't really even notice them.

[–]zxDanKwan13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Constant and never ending improvement. The pill only wakes you up. This is the real medicine that fixes you.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

A guy I hadn't seen in a while told me I was looking huge the other day and I played it off so much that it kind of got awkward when he saw that I was serious.

[–]1Soarinc21 points22 points  (4 children) | Copy

A guy I hadn't seen in a while told me I was looking huge the other day and I played it off so much that it kind of got awkward when he saw that I was serious.

Either I'm drunk as shit, or this sentence didn't make any damn sense.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think he was just playing the compliment down and being overly humble. That can become awward though if you do it too much. Just accept the compliment and move on

[–]adam_varg 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy

It make sense to me. I guess he isnt english native too.

[–]1Soarinc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro #1 -- "Hey your biceps are getting pretty huge"

TRPbro#2 -- "pretty soon I'll need to buy a freight van because I'll be unable to ride in a normal passenger vehicle"

Bro #1 -- "haha, yeah next think you know you'll need to travel in the back of a dump truck"

TRPbro -- "yeah, then after that I'll need to be carried strapped down on an 18-wheel flat bed trailer!"

Bro #1 -- "oh, wait, do you really mean that?"

TRPbro -- (silence) -- just points at a nearby 18-wheel flatbed trailer while making this gesture with his face: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oBZHN9MepPI/hqdefault.jpg

[–]rockytheboxer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I spend a lot of time mirin calves.

[–]Olipyr-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

6'6“ 225 and I feel like a weak manlet. My arms will never be big enough and I'm at about 19" but they look so small.

[–]1Soarinc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

javascript:void(0)

Wtf? 19" arms? Those are pythons

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

If that's not enough to help get past the fear of judgement remember to compare yourself to people NOT at the gym, rather than those that are.

As long as you compare favorably to the man you were yesterday, you're doing great.

[–]Auphor_Phaksache34 points35 points  (5 children) | Copy

Unless you do curls in the squat rack. Then get the fuck out and stay out.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

No trial. No jury. Instant death penalty.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I never knew curling in a squat rack was an actual thing until I witnessed it one day. Some veteran looking dude all tatted up doing barbell curls in a squat rack, light weight for fucking hundreds of reps. The dude wasn't big but was veiny as fuck. Dude was doing nothing but curls for an hour, I was like shit there goes my schedule.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

unless you're curling 60kg. Then it's legit.

[–]adam_varg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Couple weeks ago this guy did curls using benchpress rack.

That powerlifting meet type with levers, guards, fixed bench and shit. He even standed with awkwardly wide stance over bench first, then noticed backstand used that. Luckily he never showed again.

As you see 'dont curl in squat rack' sign with pictures (just words werent enough) and 'hacken squat machine isnt legpress' (yes with pictures) wasnt enough.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How about you stop squatting in my curl rack!

[–]1StoicCrane6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

If anything the people that a newbie would think would judge the most are too swollen from deadlifts and benching to give a damn. If anything they'd offer pointers.

[–]AhWarlin12 points13 points  (11 children) | Copy

To anyone thinking about going to the gym, don't worry - most people don't give a fuck about anyone else and are just there to look at themselves.

But isn't this specific post proof that this statement isnt true? The OP doesn't seem to be mean spirited but literally the entire post is him judging some guy at the gym.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon33 points34 points  (4 children) | Copy

but literally the entire post is him judging some guy at the gym

No it isn't.

The post is ego-centric self congratulation masquerading as offering patronising help but without even offering any help to the person in the story. "Young man" is a put down. "You're below me but I'll help" and "kid" and "hair's a mess" and "say hi and I'll return the favour" (why is it up to the kid to say hi???).

For all OP knows, the kid with the messy hair is an internet billionaire. You just don't know, and to assume the mantle of mentor without it being asked for is slightly insulting.

In other words, the post is all about the self rather than some kid who was fleetingly seen in the gym, and it's designed to make the poster look good rather than to help anyone.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought it was a thiny veiled homoerotic advert for the dudes dick. Definitely ego centric.

[–]InsanityTrack4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your overanalyzing the post, the post is self contradicting in that judgment is passed yet it doesn't matter because no action was taken, and more importantly if OP had acted it would have likely been positive for the young man.

This purpose of the post was to alleviate fears of newbies here to go to the gym.

The "kid with the messy hair is an internet billionaire" could have also been the second coming of Jesus for all OP knows.

From what it seems the young man is below the OP in the states environment: The gym.

While this post does have any break through knowledge it is still beneficial considering the number of losers on TRP who haven't been here long enough to see that this post is redundant to older members.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You've completely misinterpreted his post.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

The entire post is him writing down what he wished he coulda said to the kid. He wishes that kid the best. It's obvious in his writing.

[–]AhWarlin4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

He wishes that kid the best.

I know judgment tends to have a negative connotation, but not necessarily. The OP did judge the kid. He wasn't an asshole, he didn't talk shit about it, he didn't talk to the kid at all, but he DID judge the kid.

Besides, the post I was replying to uses an even more generous phrasing "giving a fuck", which the OP without question did. It just seems kinda strange to say "no one gives a shit that you're there and you'll be left alone" reply on a thread that proves that isn't necessarily the case.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How many days so far this week have you lifted more than your body weight?

[–]BENDERisGRREAT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pshhh I do 1 sit up every morning brah. Sometimes 1 or 2 in the middle of the night if I drink too much before bed.

[–]ItalianoVero1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean if you're at the gym in my vicinity I'm probably going to look at you. I'll check out your form, the weight you're using, etc. And if someone is clearly a total noon and does something dumb like load up way too much weight on bench with no spotter you're goddamn right I'm watching so I can save you when you inevitably fail a rep(university gyms lol). But I'm not going to say something or laugh or anything like that. Stop being so insecure and just lift you guys.

[–]pimpnocchio6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

What's the protocol for asking for advice at the gym? I'm 33, a fat fuck and my motivation quickly leaves me because I have absolutely no fucking clue on what to do. I know I'm tired of being fat. I'm not doing it to get chicks, I'm doing it because I feel like I've let myself down for 33 years. I feel very ashamed every time I look in the mirror. I should also mention I have a torn ACL right now, so running/walking is a no go until after surgery.

I was doing awesome several years ago. Got down from 450 to under 300, but after getting divorce raped, protective orders my kids taken away from me and moved over 500 miles away, and several suicide attempts, I'm back up to 360. I'm better than this, but I'm brand new to lifting and need guidance (cheap guidance, as I currently pay over $700 a month in child support on a $10 an hour job.)

I'm new to the red pill, only 6 months in, but I believe in almost everything I've read her regarding women and the way the world is. It sucked at first, but I am starting to see how I can use it to my advantage. The main gospel for me right now is the 48 laws of power. Wow. Eye opener, and I can definitely see my past mistakes in the transgressions of the laws. How could I be so blind?

[–]fugued4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Look for the serious guys (not the Jersey Shore crowd), the ones you see every time you go, and just ask. They'll probably be glad to offer some advice. None of em will give you odd-ball "try this one weird trick" advice. If they've been at it for years they'll all have similar ideas.

I get asked a lot, from older guys, young guys, heavy guys, skinny guys. I am always friendly, helpful and positive. And girls ask too, but in a covert manner - their typical move is to hop on the contorting machine in front of me, and wait for me to talk to them. Or skim by closely when I'm doing a seated exercise. You'll see, over the next year.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great comment. I agree very much.

[–]Igetitnow22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try "Hey man, can you check my form?". I hired a trainer in the beginning, it's worth the money to learn the right way first than to do it wrong for a long time.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask the guys who look like you'd like to look, and who look like they train hard.

Then, make sure you do what they advise you. Make sure they see you doing it too, and they'll be happy to continue advising you.

If you ask their advice and ignore it, they won't bother in the future.

[–]curunir4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plenty of gyms offer trainers, and if you can't afford that, you've got to build your own program. You might meet someone at the gym willing to help, but absolutely do not rely on that.

This is a good place to start: http://stronglifts.com/5x5/

You're gonna have to get used to being hungry to get that weight off. Sorry. It's gonna be hard. Just make sure everything you eat is good nutrition. Since you'll be working out, you'll need plenty of protein, but don't neglect veggies, vitamins, etc. AVOID GRAINS

Eat small meals, 5 times per day. Google 5 meals a day and you'll get some excellent ideas for maintaining nutritious meals without stuffing yourself with tons of calories.

The torn ACL is really going to get in your way. If walking is out of the question, what about eliptical? Cycling? Some low-impact aerobic stuff will really help get the weight off quicker. But, remember, if you're building muscle, it's a triple threat to your fat anyway - you're burning calories during workout, while the muscle is building, AND to maintain the extra muscle you gain.

Again, diet is key (not diet as in eat less, diet as in eat RIGHT). Plenty of protein, plenty of GOOD fats (eating fat does NOT make you fat), avoid grains, and low carbs, making sure the carbs you eat are giving you the best nutrition you can get out of them.

[–]Fatboy2141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When i got divorce raped i got in the best shape of my life. Because honestly i was doing it strictly to help my game with women. But then i got addicted to the gym.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

search 5x5 or stronglifts on google, read the plan. youtube the exercise to show you form. you have to do it 3x per week, and its all compound, gets you really strong. also don't be such a fat fuck, this is your actual fucking life

[–]InsanityTrack1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Before asking people at the gym put in some work yourself. Research, plenty of articles on the internet. Some good starting points are Keto Diet, Intermittent Fasting, Starting Strength, 5x5, Push Pull Leg Split, German Volume Training, Education of a Bodybuilder. Godspeed.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's the protocol for asking for advice at the gym?

Fuck knows, I don't bother. I don't know enough to be able to tell who else knows what they're doing, but I know enough to know that most are doing it wrong, and I know what works for me.

I'm 33, a fat fuck and my motivation quickly leaves me because I have absolutely no fucking clue on what to do.

Got down from 450 to under 300

What numbers are these.... pounds?

Drop me a line privately and I'll give you some tips and an ass kicking.

[–]username51502 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't been to the gym in a long ass time. Need to get back in the swing of things, mainly because I have been having neck and back problems that required surgery. I am totally out shape but before that I was consistently going for almost 10 years. Any time I went to the gym I would really not give any fucks about anyone else. I would throw on my headphones and get into the zone working out. Also I am a very talkative person but at the gym I HATE being bothered by strangers in a full out conversation. I'm not their to make friends I'm there to work on my health and physique. Also when I first started i was 230lbs at 17 and couldn't do a push-up or lift 135. However I kept telling me self to get through the beginning that it begins somewhere and eventually I'll lift more. A few years later my Mac was 235 after I lost some weight as well and was really into working out a lot. So anyone can do it. Just takes dedication

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Going to the gym and comparing yourself to others in the gym is like going to top notch college and getting down because you're not top of the class. Contrary to popular belief there are more than enough good jobs to go around for those putting in the work, and the same goes for cute chicks in yoga pants. It's especially true when all you want to do is rent them out for a weekend at a time.

[–]vagbutters0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Good analogy-- it's also worth noting that your success in life doesn't necessarily have to do with how well you excel at one particular facet (e.g. the kid with the best grades may not end up making the most money).

You don't have to be Arnold S. to get laid with yoga pant basic bitches-- you just have to get their panties wet.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Also worth noting that your success in life doesn't necessarily have to do with how much money you make either. The sole purpose of money is financial independence and freedom. I've met a few CT surgeons making $700-800K+ and even neurosurgeons making $1M+ per year who I do not consider "successful" because they feel trapped by their jobs (and also have little to no influence outside of whichever OR they happen to be residing in). They've eliminated the main advantage of being wealthy, which is having freedom. I also know academic physicians making $150K doing mostly research who have incredible work life balance and a tremendous amount of influence in their fields. Enough money to not be limited in what they do and plenty of time to spend it along with influence of those around them and universal respect. That's success.

[–]vagbutters0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It depends on your perspective-- I know a couple of neurosurgeons, cosmetic surgeons, radiologists who make bank, but they understood the cost of this. Most of them have the mindset of early retirement, or they don't mind being in the hospital or clinic most of their waking hours.

I personally agree with what you're saying-- there should be a balance, but if some people can manage to live a happy life with this super delayed gratification, then who am I to question it?

[–]1Sir_Distic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of the time other people in the gym will help you out. Just ask someone to help you with form. Spot you. Etc

[–]CQC31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It really is a bunch of horse shit. The gym is not an intimidating place, people just stereotype too much and live inside their fucking heads. They don't realize their insecurity is not reality.

Most regulars at the gym are either swell dudes who'll help you or guys who won't think twice about you and don't care whether you bench 225+ or just the bar. If I see a weak kid coming to the gym 3 or more times a week and is consistent, I can respect the grind. The only lifts that matter are yours, never compare, but it's okay to be mirin once in awhile.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you heard Milo talk about fat shaming on Joe Rogan's podcast. He cares.

[–]xmido1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gym or restaurants, no one really cares that much. Everyone thinking about themselves and how they look.

[–]Luckyluke231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

yeah man, people in the gym are there to do a work out and leave. I'm more worried about the chicks doing squats that are going to cause me to have an injury soon.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I completely disagree with this. I don't compare myself to the average man in my demographic. I'm a 42 year old man in the Southern US; if I compare to the norm set by my peers, I'll be comparing myself to a lot of overweight, semi-literate, feminized, brow-beaten weaklings who have rarely if ever seen the inside of a gym and wouldn't know a barbell from their fuckin' elbow. I'm not in the same classification as them; I'm barely even the same goddamn species as them.

I am more than that.

I compare myself to the greats because it's my earnest desire to achieve greatness. I am not racing to the bottom, I'm racing to the top. Unless I know a man is at least as strong as me (maybe I can beat his deadlift but he beats me on bench, for instance), he isn't worthy of comparing myself to.

Comparing yourself to weaklings is basically just mental masturbation. A person only does that in order to make themselves feel better about their shortcomings.

Overcome your weakness and walk among the gods.

[–]curunir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm with you there. I'm an older guy, too, and it's been about 6 years since I did any lifting. But I'm still in better shape than 90% of the guys my age around here. So if that's my goal it's a pretty useless one.

Besides, at this point I'm competing with a lot of younger guys at the bars. So, yea, I have some bigger goals than comparing myself to average guys my age. It's gonna take more work now than it did when I was younger, but I've accepted that now. It's just the way it is.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is a tonne of info online

[–]Entrefut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It took me awhile to realize that there was nothing wrong with being a small guy at the gym, just make sure your face is turning red and you're struggling through your rep's with good form. No one will ever say anything bad to you and if they do, they're a cunt. I went from squating fairly heavy, to squating 185 in a 10x10 routine for fatigue. At first I felt bad, because the weight was lower, but then I realized I was working harder and putting myself under more tension for more time than I ever had before. Just work hard, leave your ego at the door and lift with good form until you're shaking.

[–]angryguy44440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I avoid doing my work out because I'm ashamed that people will see how pathetic and weak I am

[–]trippinallday0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That's not the way to improve. The only way you're gonna get better is if you compare yourself to the best, not the worst. When you were in school did you go "Oh most people get D's so this C is fine"?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The most important thing about the gym ... is being at the gym.

[–]trippinallday0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not saying you should justify your cognitive dissonance by saying "Oh they're bigger than me I don't belong here" or something to that regard.

I'm just saying don't compare yourself to the lowest common denominator, unless that's what you want to be. Compare yourself to the best and try your ass off to get as close to them as possible.

[–]LippyMinded0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. I'm too busy beating myself up over my form to give a shit about yours.

[–]soulbrave 109 points109 points [recovered] | Copy

Fuck bro, I really needed to read this. went to the gym for the first time yesterday, didn't know what I was doing at all. I felt like people were smirking at how bad my form was. Some guy actually came over and taught me how to bench right.

[–]zxDanKwan92 points93 points  (6 children) | Copy

Just recognize that if someone spends their time correcting you, it's a sign of respect and care.

People who don't care don't take the time to correct you, they just let you continue to be wrong.

[–]soulbrave 23 points23 points [recovered] | Copy

Yeah he was a super nice guy. He said to ask him for help if I need any advice, which I plan to do

[–]Swallowed_the_pill3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should definitely look up Layne Norton's How to bench, how to squat and how to deadlift videos on youtube. Try to focus on the sticking points on breathing first.

[–]FrgElder 6 points6 points [recovered] | Copy

People who don't care don't take the time to correct you, they just let you continue to be wrong.

Not necessarily true. I've helped a lot of people with weights and in MMA/kickboxing/grappling if/when they ask. If I see someone that's clearly brand new doing something that will injure them I will usually jump in and show them how to do it right.

But I refrain from jumping in and correcting everyone that does exercises wrong, the reason being that 95% of people are doing the exercises wrong. It doesn't matter where you go, the majority of people don't know how to put together a proper work out and will be half or quarter repping with awful form. I'm not going to try to correct some dude trying to impress girls by quarter repping two plates. While I like helping people I don't want to be the guy in the gym who is constantly giving off unsolicited advice. Everyone hates that guy.

If you're new to any activity, look to the people who look like they know what they're doing and ask them. They've likely put a ton of effort into studying their craft and will be glad to pass along their knowledge. While I help people in the gym, I also seek help from others in activities that I'm still green at. Like dancing, or learning a new language/skill.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

When you see this guy doing deadlifts with a rounded back, help him. The last thing he needs is a herniated disc (which will probably result in his departure from fitness entirely).

When you see this guy quarter-repping 2 plates on bench, just let it be. He's probably not going to hurt himself with decreased ROM, and if he wants to brag about his 315 bench max, which is really more like 215 if he actually did it right, just let him. You go to the gym for you, not to be better than others.

[–]FrgElder 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

That's basically the rules I abide by already in my own head. The first guy will be thankful for my advice. Even if the second guy is going to hurt himself, he's not going to take my advice, he'll take it as a blow to his ego and just ignore me anyways.

[–]zxDanKwan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But, circling back to my original comment, the only reason you'd give any advice in the first place is because you naturally care. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

You're stepping in on the first guy because he's going to hurt himself. Lots of dickwads would just wait for it to happen and laugh, maybe even record it to put it on Reddit. You're saying you would proactively step in and help prevent injury. That's more than most people would do in most situations (see: Bystander Effect).

The whole reason you're not giving advice to the second guy is because it would be wasted effort on that individual. You're not holding back because you want to see people fail, or because you think it's always a wasted effort- it just happens to be with Brohan Gloryhog.

[–]newmeforever20 points21 points  (6 children) | Copy

Watch some Youtube videos on exercises / form before going in.

And then start light.

[–]soulbrave 18 points18 points [recovered] | Copy

ye man. I did 5x5 until I couldn't lift the bar anymore. Face was super red. The weight almost slid off the bar to because I didn't know about the clips. Oh well, most big people started off small. One day I'll look back at today and laugh at myself.

[–]newmeforever12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

you sure will.

Don't stop my dude!

They say that other people will notice changes in you in 3 months, and it will take about 6 to notice changes in yourself. I believe this because it happened to me.

Don't be scared to increase the weight when you get form right!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

shit man, i was shackled to a desk job for so long, and so out of shape and atrophied that i gained 15 lbs in my first month.

[–]TheRedStoic6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You will, don't worry.

Others will notice faster, the less you see them the more stark the change will be.

You won't notice quickly unless you're taking progress pics. You see yourself every day and have mental perceptions of yourself, the change is too gradual for your brain to care.

Take the progress pics weekly. You'll thank yourself in two months! It'll definitely remind you what'll happen when you get discouraged at your first serious plateau!

Also remember that the others in the gym are there to do the same job. No one is watching you, the few that are will likely help you out. Most of us were there and the memory of how it feels in your position never disappears.

Keep it up bro.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's easier to start off small and skinny than to start big and fat like I did.

[–]Swallowed_the_pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should honestly start way lighter now. Get your form right before trying to lift heavy. Bad form in squat can fuck up your knees or back, deadlifts can also be bad for your back.

Once your form is okay you will be lifting both safer and more effective.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Get to know them. Most people in the gym will help you do shit right. They don't judge because they came from the same place you're in right now. They're farther down the road is all, started sooner.

You're like them, meaning you're not one of the fat people who doesn't give a shit that they have four chins and can't see their own genitalia. You give a fuck, and you're doing something about it.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Even if you are a fat fuck with four chins, once you walk through the door of that gym, you are my equal. You're here, you're working, you deserve my respect.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's how I see it. We are not the couch potatoes watching whatever it is they watch these days.

[–]Chomp3y3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude lifting is just like learning to do anything else. You cant possibly believe youre going to walk in there and have perfect form just like you wouldnt expect to walk on the football field for the first time and throw a perfect spiral. You have to be taught. If any dude is willing to teach you pay attention and learn. Ignorance is nothing to be embarrassed about. And real talk watch youtube. That helped me a shit ton. Sooo many fitness heads on youtube. I like Bradly Martyn. He seems real and honest. He has a slew of instructional videos and how-to's

[–]TheBullitt4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I could tell this to everyone. I love new people approaching me and asking for help. I needed once before and I love to pass along my knowledge.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guy teaches you how to bench - that's real respect. He cares if you become strong the correct way.

Make a friend of him.

[–]CasualCocaine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha you remind me of when I started. Everyone starts like that, just keep going everyday, thats the hard part.

[–]An_All-Beef_Engineer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some guy actually came over and taught me how to bench right.

That's how you know you're in a good gym.

[–]iamirishpat0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm going for the first time tomorrow morning. I know literally nothing about exercise and fitness. I'm pretty overweight. I'm a little nervous but I know I should do it.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can't recommend it enough. Just remember, get the basics down:

  1. Use SOME type of sensible workout program, with good form, and give 100% effort

  2. Nutrition

  3. Be consistent, and if you seem to stall, try something new or change your routine/etc.

The majority of what I see is guys who aren't serious, don't give 100%, etc. And they still look the same while I got stronger/larger.

YouTube is helpful for showing correct form for your exercises.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He did you a huge favor, but it ain't for free! You're gonna pass that on many times in the future... the first time someone singles you out and asks you to spot them on bench, you're gonna know you're making big progress.

I remember when I first started going, I just kept my head down and tried really hard not to be noticed. Now I walk in the gym and the first thing I do is make a lap to see if any of my gym-bros are there, so I can shoot the shit with them. It's a very supportive environment once people see you're in it for the long haul and not just gonna quit.

[–]KumonRoguing0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you see a guy benching with arms making a right angle, it's better to help out. I just don't want you to fuck your shoulders and elbows up, not to stroke my ego.

[–]vagbutters0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read this clearly- everyone feels like you did the first time they start lifting at the gym. It's totally OK-- you're on the road to bettering yourself, and there's some adjustment time before you're in the rhythm of things, before you master form, before you understand gym etiquette, before you develop the discipline to stick to your diet and go to the gym regularly.

Also, no one really gives a fuck about you in the gym, that's just your insecurity talking. They might see you struggling and think "hm this guy is new," that's about it.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you (honestly, really) do find guys who are arrogant or find enjoyment in you doing poor form, it's likely they're weak internally.

I have found it a bit entertaining when some guys do very loud (weight slamming, and making noises) workouts with silly / poor form, but in general I respect anyone who is really trying.

If someone is trying and I see the opportunity to give them constructive criticism I'll do that, never ridiculing them.

I wish someone had done the same for me when I started. I struggled a lot and wasted time and effort.

[–]slay_it_forward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He probably taught you wrong. watch a reputable youtube vid.

[–]slay_it_forward-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

He probably taught you wrong. watch a reputable youtube vid.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang247 points248 points  (32 children) | Copy

Great post, full of the unmistakeable red pill vibe from the olden days.

[–]thebrandedman154 points155 points  (31 children) | Copy

Has the ring of caring father/older brother to it. This is exactly the type of support this new generation needs.

[–]EpicTuxedoMan14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

God You guys are the best. Thank you.

-Sincerely, random sophomore in high school .

[–]butitdontlooklikeme96 points97 points  (24 children) | Copy

it has the ring of a missed encounters craigslist m4m ad

[–]Ganaria_Gente20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol

i thought it was a great bro2bro post

[–]theONE84366395 points96 points  (19 children) | Copy

This is the type of mentality we're here to fix. Anything brotherly, fatherly, or men caring deeply for their brother from another mother is supposed to be gay? Get the fuck outta here you're the faggot for thinking shit like this in the first place. And this is coming from a bisexual man so if I'm saying this, then you know it's fucked.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

No shit! I'm sick of it being "gay" for me to treat another man with love, respect, and affection.

For men to be afraid to treat one another with brotherly love is a huge advantage to the Feminist Generation... it ensures we can only have our emotional needs met by THEM.

[–]Mckallidon17 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's only gay if you get a boner because of it. Coincidental erections don't count.

[–]curunir5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

DAMMIT! Okay - I'm calling it "coincidental", then. All straight.

[–]Mckallidon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just because that's what you call it, it doesn't make it so. Let the boner speak the truth, not the ego.

[–]KumonRoguing10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's part of the feminist agenda to break us apart. Men have to unite again and form brotherly bonds. It's not sexual, I just want to see my brothers do well. Even the army is starting to lack this and it's sad.

[–]theONE8436632 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeh cuz now there are gay people in the army so now everyone's wondering who's the faggot. Every straight male is obsessed with this faggot shit. Str8 people now feel the need to defend their straightness. Back where i come from in Nepal, men used to hold hands when walking and it's not gay it's brotherly. They've invaded men's sexualities.

Ask any guy about their opinions on lesbians you'll see what's up. We have this thing that somehow makes lesbians awesome and faggots bad. It's the 'women are awesome' crap in a different form. Guys are hostile towards fags, but love lesbians. Girls on the other hand are cool with lesbians and don't think of them as a threat. We need to change this shit.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]theONE8436631 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's wrong with being balls deep in Billy boy's asshole? If he's a libtard, I'm game.

[–]recon_johnny4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's fucking with you, bro.

[–]TheGillos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am pretty sure it was just a joke.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]theONE843663-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes... I don't wanna fuck a brother or mentor. I only fuck feminine degenerate faggots in their dirty festering buttholes and shemales sometimes. To me it's more about sense of power than pure attraction. It's pretty much a rage fuck every time I engage in such activities. Usually under the influence.

[–]curunir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

... not that there's anything wrong with that ;)

[–]fuckyouripod0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it did have a decidely homoerotic flair to it

[–]lnTheRearWithTheGear9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

God knows we didn't get it from our own fathers...

[–]thebrandedman13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mine tried, but goddamn, my mother tried to keep him whipped. I was terrified of girls because of her.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely! If we are going to un-feminize our gender, then we need to take younger guys under our wing... not necessarily to beat them over the head with "OMG RED PILL WISDOM", but to basically just bring things back to where they were 50 years ago: men mentoring men, passing on traditions.

[–]Republic_of_Ash0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would say that air carried with it a definite whiff of douchebaggery.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (3 children) | Copy

Entering a room and making eye contact and nodding to the men that seem to have some sort of charisma or power is a very good idea

[–]FilthyShadesOfRed3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I intuitively feel it's a very good idea, but I can't put words on why. What is the rationale here?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Few reasons.

First, this show of respect is appreciated and could turn into a quality interaction with a man who possibly has something to share. The sharing will come from his generosity not out of any obligation.

Second, if the man turns away uncomfortably then you found the beta. Its good to know this type of information as these characteristics are not exactly tattooed on our foreheads.

Its like a reverse shit test. Only as a man, you begin with polite assumption that you are dealling with a quality man. Women, as gatekeepers of sex, assume the opposite

Lastly, the rest of the room will see your bold confidence. Your absolute expectation that these men are your equal and you begin with a slight show of respect. Not submission. Respect.

Thus, your self evaluation as a high value man must be true in their minds

This takes practice and doesnt come natural to me. I force it a bit and to this day have to remind myself to do it. Give it a try and see what you find

[–]rp_phoenix44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is an awesome post. People who follow TRP aren't heartless, cold men who look down on betas. Most of us are men like the OP, who would be happy to show you the way. You're a fine man, OP.

[–]ghee9916 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

although, be careful if you're a young guy being TOO friendly at the gym

I know when I first started going to a real gym (in my case it was "Crunch" in NYC) the guys were super friendly, "thats nice" i thought.

Leter on, when I was done working out, I went to take a shower and I saw one dude fucking some other dude IN THE ASS in the last shower stall

I got the hell out of there FAST (skipped the showering totally) and then I was like "ohhhh, i get it now"

Later on, I learned to avoid certain "Crunch" gyms, and avoided going there at certain times (it was a 24 hour gym, and I made a point to NEVER go there after 10pm, for example).

Not that I mind some other dude being gay (its gross to me, personally... but everyone has the right to love who they want). I just don't want to see buttsex or manOnman blow jobs (another gross thing I accidentally walked into there) while I'm trying to work out.

And creepy gay dudes can be super friendly at the gym, when really they just want to get on your dick (so be careful with the over-friendliness!)

[–]Officer_Dick_Johnson4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know a dudes gay when he offers to spot you without you asking him first.

[–]ghee993 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL

true

or when he offers to "show you proper form" without being asked.

[–]RPSigmaStigma51 points52 points  (2 children) | Copy

This was exactly me 2 years ago. So many guys need to hear this. Thanks OP.

[–]tedcase11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds like the internal monologue of a gay predator.

[–]dart20012 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got the impression you have had your natural joy and self confidence hammered out of you by endless "socialization".

When our gaze happened to meet, you quickly averted your eyes and looked downward

man, ain't that the fucking truth.

[–]TunedtoPerfection31 points32 points  (6 children) | Copy

The sloppy hair thing is definitely the "hot" thing. It took me about 4 years to finally get it right so I don't look like Goku just getting out of bed. But when you do chicks dig it a lot.

[–]Sophisticated_Sloth11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

Not a native english speaker. Can you elaborate on "the sloppy hair thing"? What does it look like?

[–]richardguy13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

Messy, but in a cute fashion. The opposite of a high n' tight or any sort of "discipline" cut, like a buzz or crew cut.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sort of like that bed head look?

[–]richardguy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. That would be one of them.

Frankly I just roll out with an undercut or a comb over. I don't see the point in messy hair styles. They work great for some dudes, but a lot of dudes can't pull that sort of look, or long hair.

[–]KumonRoguing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some of us have curly hair. Don't cut it short and try to have a straight hair style. Put some mousse in and tussle that shit. Chicks dig it.

[–]TheRedStoic3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Google "ideal messy hair for men".

Those pictures describe it. Sloppy but you put time into getting the right sloppy.

Not my thing personally but I have naturally godlike hair. So. Whatever.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy

I was that guy about 17 years ago. Down to the round glasses. Effeminate skinny pale beta nerd with stupid hair.

I was working out regularly right from the start and looking back I think the guys noticed it and respected me after a few weeks. I still didn't talk to them and felt anxious around them.

Then after a few months I started using free weights.

I did bench presses with ridiculously small weights.

Struggled with the last reps.

And suddenly without asking him for help an alpha guy who I had always seen doing extreme workouts comes over and spots me through the last two reps.

I was really surprised because it meant that he had actually noticed not only me but watched me doing my set, too.

I wanted to give a "thank you that's awesome really nice of you thank you helped me a lot really great..."-speech.

But before I could do that he just nodded like "no problem, well done" went back to his workout. I just nodded in return.

And I was like "oh...that's how it works when you are around guys."

After that I talked to a lot of the guys over time. Even with guys who sould have probably bullied me if they had met me on the streets.

It changed a lot in my life. Doesn't sound spectacular...but I can remember it clearly after 17 so I think it really had an impact.

[–]Ganaria_Gente5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

very inspirational post....mind if i ask your age now?

[–]logicalthinker118 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, just go get his number and fuck him. At least take him out for coffee and make out

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

This reads like a missed connections ad on Craigslist.

[–]vipernick9130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao that's what I thought too!

[–]TheBeardedMarxist29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should have just manned up and went and talked to him. It's obvious you want to fuck him. Just go for it next time. The worst he can say is no. Either way it will give you cold open experience.

[–]stevehokie9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

This could either be legitimate support from a bro - or the prelude to a horrific rape / serial killing.

If its the former - I can appreciate the sentiment.

[–]Dustin_Bromain8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Beautifully written. Always commend other men on their efforts; no matter how small.

[–]s--sfs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously. Theres some real kindness in those words.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

A little melodramatic, but I like what you're saying. No one deserves to feel pushed out or awkward in the gym when they're only trying to better themselves.

[–]curunir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's the way I always see it. Who cares what kind of shape you're in right now - if you're at the gym working, you're trying to improve yourself. That's the important thing.

[–]OneLifeSucks7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whenever a new guy enters my gym and makes eye contact with me I normally challenge them to a Pokemon battle.

[–]readmymind513 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

seems like you've paid an awful lot of attention to this kid. He probably saw you looked away and you never crossed his mind again. you on the other hand, wrote a creepy piece about him, analysed every piece of clothing he was wearing andhis face and jaw structure. You seem to be the one with the damaged confidence and insecurities.

[–]curunir5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gee I thought I was reading a crosspost from Criagslist M4M "missed connections" for a minute, there.

[–]1Maverick119 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

This belongs in a notebook. I think you were watching this "young man" a little too closely. LOL

[–]Nukgci12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you going to ask him out on a date?

[–]prodigy2throw27 points28 points  (4 children) | Copy

A little twoXchromosomes-y but solid post. My first few weeks at the gym were terrifying but it paid off heavily. The best part for me was realizing that all the swole bros love to help and give advice and I always return the favour now that I'm the bro.

[–][deleted] 16 points16 points | Copy

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[–]randarrow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could have taken the 4-chan "Be me...." format.

[–]oliver512935 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doing 2X better than 2X. Lol

[–]Republic_of_Ash10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are shamelessly in love with yourself apparently.

[–]LaRedPill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

First day I went to the gym some bros where there training, one of them teaching the other, his form was perfect, slow, unrelentess movements, security at every inch, no wobbling, no buffing, this guy was buffed but not excesively muscular.

I watched in awe as his perfect routine while trying to squat with the emtpy bar.

Now I go to another gym but I get as much looks as he did at the time, I now strive for the perfect movements he had, more than the size of my peer's biceps.

seeing someone do a perfect bench press, a perfect squat, a perfect press... is something else.

[–]CaptainShades4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a teenager long ago, I joined a gym and remember being taunted and bullied by the veterans. It turned me off of public gyms ever since. I know now that it's time to go back and fix the dad bod. I don't care what anybody things.

[–]1clon3man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post added nothing to my life.

[–]HiGuysiamkewl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why does this come off like a love letter?

[–]ScumbagPotato3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you eye them wistfully

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–]curunir2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is it true that all weight lifters are bi?

[–]kyllingefilet16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next time, just ask him if you can suck his dick. Much simpler than whatever you're trying to accomplish here.

[–]Rly_Do_Not_Want9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

stop judging others and focus on improving yourself you self-righteous pisspants idiot

[–]chances_are_ur_a_fag2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

did you give him a reacharound in the locker room?

[–]FinallyRed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If only it was acceptable to get that real with people. It's nice to have a place like trp at all but damn if a had a core group of a couple of you guys as my friends life would be a blast.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

In what universe does being in a gym make you less pale?

[–]Mandeponium8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was oddly homoerotic. But I 100% agree. I was there not too long ago.

[–]e_z_p_z_17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

To the old guy who was starring at me in the gym last night:

The gym is usually my sanctuary, but your constant menacing glance was making me extremely uncomfortable and difficult to focus on my form. It was very unnecessary when you swooped right up behind me to spot my squat. The comment you made about my "pale white skin" and "effeminate" appearance was equally off putting not only to myself but also to my friends.

I hope I do not see you there again, but if so, please do not continuously look me in the eye, nod, and keep introducing yourself as I will be happy to inform management

[–]PMme_your_success17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously, creepy ass dude analysing the paleness of other people's skin instead of focusing on his own lifts.

[–]anonymousapple1117 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could've told that to him

[–]VdSteel22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Do you want me to give you this guys number so you can make out with him?

[–]Mckallidon11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Funny, you're implying that you already have it and know he'd be game.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

it's a fucking joke you sperg lmao

[–]Mckallidon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then laugh and stop being butthurt.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is the creepiest shit I've seen in a while. WTF?

[–]Mckallidon4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Someone had an incident at the park when they were a child.

[–]Officer_Dick_Johnson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Someone saw Lester's van from inside.

[–]irwin1003-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It kind of sounds gay to be honest.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a former big dude who's been out of the gym for a few years cus of injuries. Couldn't help but feel a little anxious about being an average size guy in the gym now. I needed this reminder that we're all in it together. Thanks

Also, I'm getting a haircut tomorrow..

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–]MOCKxTHExCROSS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Check out 5x5 stronglifts if you're more into powerlifting, or PPL (search reddit) if you're more into bodybuilding.

[–]microwave440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a 9gag tier post

"To the guy that posted X here's Y"

Dude wtf is this kanker, putting others down to feel more alpha

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]Whereismycoat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It was a well written post! I looked at it from the perspective of a brother, not some stranger that this dude is lusting over. Acknowledging others insecurities is bad if done verbally though, so I'm glad this was in a post

[–]1Soarinc2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy

They would totally get with a tall white boy like you, if you have just a bit of game and confidence.

I thought that the gym is one of the worst possible places to run game because the girls are 100% immune to it and are not looking for it there.

[–]1GroundhogLiberator7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can't stand gym orbiters. They're constantly inflating the egos of girls in the weight room, but of course we're all used to that. I hate how much space they occupy.

A few weeks ago I was with my gym buddy. He was squatting in a cage and I was doing deadlifts in the floor space behind him. A girl appeared to use the neighboring rack and proceeded to quarter squat with an empty bar. Within five minutes, there were seven guys in our corner of the gym. Two of them started ego deadlifting and dropped their weights and grunted as loud as possible. One was behind her in the rack trying to give her advice about her form. The other four each tried to engage in conversation between sets.

And that's not even counting however many guys were staring at her from across the gym.

[–]1Soarinc3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hope you don't mind but I'm definitely stealing your "ego deadlifting" term, lol.

I think staring at hot women is the only benefit of going to a public gym rather than just owning a bench (which by the way you can get $1200 equipment for $75 if you drive to pick it up) seriously you have no idea that used gym equipment is literally the worst resale market for sellers. You'd have better luck selling Solyndra stock options than used exercise equipment. I also scored a pair of bowflex select-tech dumbbells for $50. I once got screwed however on a non-working cotton candy machine so craigslist is a double-edged sword, as are most private selling marketplaces (such as ebay, flea markets, and roadside watermelon vendors)

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]1Soarinc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGw8DWctAts&feature=youtu.be

This song makes me want to die in battle. Am I weird?

Of course you are, wtf would you ever say that??

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've picked up gym girls before. Just talk to them like they're normal people and Jesus fucking christ don't give them form advice.

[–]Lordoffunk3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is where Jerry Seinfeld picked up his wife.

[–]newmeforever4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I've gotten a few numbers at the gym.

[–]1Soarinc0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I believe you, but I've never seen it. How loud do you grunt when you are lifting near them?

[–]newmeforever5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Loud enough for them to give me their number.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think its the volume- just start groaning and don't stop till she puts her digits in your phone.

[–]OuroborosPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps he meant meeting them outside the gym setting.

[–]FrgElder 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

It's actually not bad but it relies a lot more on being able to read IOI's. There are so many guys staring, "helping" with form, and trying to talk to them that unless they show interest first it's usually a losing proposition.

Differentiate yourself by paying no mind to them, doing your workout, and initiating a genuine conversation afterward if you can. You can make strong eye contact during but otherwise just go about your business unless they initiate. A lot of girls go to the gym specifically to get hit on, as you can tell by their attire. But they go there to get hit on by the right guy, not the ego-lifting gym orbiters.

[–]1Soarinc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's actually not bad but it relies a lot more on being able to read IOI's. There are so many guys staring, "helping" with form, and trying to talk to them that unless they show interest first it's usually a losing proposition.

Finally! I needed to read this -- I was actually questioning my sanity if for the past 10 years at the gym I have been believing that you can pick up girls there. (in 10 years I've never ONCE seen a guy successfully get a girl's number or make any type of successful interaction) it always ends in the girl politely giving off a GTFO-vibe

[–]Mckallidon-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would avoid it bc I'd already assume she has already fucked half the guys there lol.

[–]killxorxbexkilled11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

This shit sounds real faggy, bro.

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]syrinxOptimised0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Drake said "Niggas talk more than bitches these days", I think he's right.

[–]GenghisKhanSpermShot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Annnd this is why I don't come here much.

[–]Chaotic55553 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just found this sub and this is exactly the shit I needed to hear. Thanks

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well written and inspirational. MENTORING younger men is something many quality men grow into.

It's not enough to bitch about the lack of positive role models for men in our society, here is a man who is DOING something about it. Keep up the good work, Sir.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]nuesuh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eye contact is always a challenge. If you don't avert your eyes upon eye contact, you are there to challenge him.

[–]BlazerMan4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not him, but thank you for this. I needed to hear it.

[–]Cazmir090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

hey hey hey, what's wrong with tortoise shell glasses?

Round 2

[–]fcb982920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The socialization you cited is now the norm. You may forget about men making the first move, unless its an alpha willing to risk his money and reputation on a gaze.

[–]Surfincloud90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I go to the gym daily so if I see a new guy struggling, I'm always the first to let him know that if he needs any help let me know. I don't give unsolicited advice but I will help if you ask

[–]40_SixandTwo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm glad this was posted. I stunted alot of my progress when I first started TRP cause I was so intimidated about going to the gym and being judged. I've been judged all my life for being small and skinny. I've still got work to do but because of getting over that fear I'm where I want to be, and I love looking in the mirror now.

If anyone still has their doubts, I'll put it in perspective. Whenever I started working out at the gym, the bulkiest and most jacked dudes always treated me with respect and as if it was normal that I was there. I still get flak and snide comments about being skinny and about going to the gym, but the people who make those comments are all either dad bods or severely out of shape. The only people who are going to continue to disrespect your work ethic are the people who don't have the motivation to better themselves.

[–]individual58760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good socialization is a boon, bad socialization is toxic. You're better off sitting at home eating Doritos and watching TV. Some people get so disillusioned by bad social interactions that they think all social interactions are like that.

If he keeps at his lifting (emphasis on form) his confidence will rise and he'll have access to an entirely new class of social interaction. Platitudes don't work, action does.

[–]Ou-tis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now i joined a new gym (first time in a serious gym)where. I m maybe the less fit. I m excited because I have people better than me I have to learn a lot and the potential to grow.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I always take an opening that pops up to give encouragement to starting or smaller guys in the gym.

Unfortunately I'm often disappointed with their lack of motivation, but it's important to set a good example, offer REAL advice that you have (unlike the low-tier trainers I see there, who aren't even fit themselves), along with encouraging them to keep going.

I'd like to have a talk some of the younger guys who come in as a group and have a "chat session" rather than actually working out sincerely. Very annoying, and mostly pointless coming in if they're going to do that.

[–]2016redditor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well this half-assed post has certainly exceeded my expectations.

To those of you who felt encouragement, good, that was my intent. Go lift.

To those of you who are worried about my sex life, fuck off.

And to the mods of the various other forums who have now banned me, fuck off also.

(redacted message follows per TRP automod rules)

You've been banned from participating in (redacted)

You have been banned from participating in (redacted). You can still view and subscribe to (redacted), but you won't be able to post or comment.

Note from the moderators: You have been automatically banned for participating in a hatereddit. TheRedPill is Reddit's "weird cult". It is obsessed with harassing people all over Reddit, to the point members are encouraged to follow "The Red Pill Guide to Interacting With Other Subreddits". This automatic ban was instituted as a last resort to mitigate systemic harassment due to uncontrollable fanaticism. Regardless of context, contributions you provide to the hatereddit is a material form of support. We are willing to reverse the ban only if you plan to stop supporting these hatereddits. If you do not, then do not contact us. We will ignore any other response. If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team for (redacted) by replying to this message. Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole.

[–]Strider_Tolstoi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is by far one of the most motivating posts i've seen on internet in a really long time.

I salute you sir, this has trully motivated me to keep going to the gym and in a general way become a better man.

Thanks.

[–]croyoydo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

holy fucking shit, this is pathetic. i mean, why do you even care about other dudes fashion style if you believe in your own? im not saying im the toughest motherfucker on the block, but anyone who writes this type of shit would be transparent to my eyes. i thought this subreddit had an actual message, and not some... whatever this is.

even after reading the first message here... the dude is preaching do not fear judgment. yet, this post is revolving around being judgmental, in every sense. what the fucking fuck? i thought that i shared a common lack of ignorance with redpillers, but you are worse than the tumblr SJWs. sorry.

[–]DJNAHNAHNAH-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

please read this as if it were a response from the pale beta in the gym (i'd love to get more role playing in the comments in this sub - i think it could be very useful for discussion and self improvement [but i digress]):

brother,

know this:

as your confident, cool, gaze met mine, i felt a shiver make its way through my frail, weak body. i, somewhat embarrassingly, quickly looked at my raggedy shoes to avoid any further interaction. i could never match up to the likes of you - clearly a seasoned veteran in this game we call life. this game that i've struggled with for years. but behind those steely eyes of yours, i sensed a wise man of compassion and empathy. perhaps one day, brother, i will gain the confidence to approach you, help you with that last squat of yours, and begin a mentor/apprentice relationship that will last for years on end...

[–]Tailback0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A regular at the gym talked to me last week. "Hey, you've been coming here for awhile now haven't you?"

That felt good like I'd reached a milestone.

The hard as fuck looking dudes are mostly happy to see people stick with it and taking that step to improve.

[–]backdoorbum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i remember one time some guy in my gym said to his friend "something something call me a weak bitch"

So I called him that

etc we became friends but he lived in sc and was only visiting

miss u brah

[–]garrettruskamp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This was quite a nice post among all the resent and hate you see daily in this sub.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To the Dremora Lord I saw at the gym last night:

I saw you trap a fat girl in a black soul gem so you could use the treadmill. You then killed an old man with your axe and took his yellow gatorade, and when you were done chugging it you squeezed the bottle flat and broke the window that you threw it at. And the whole time you were blasting Alanis Morissette through the whole gym through your iPhone which was also morally wrong. I'm disgusted by your behavior. Until you are kicked out of the gym or killed by SWAT I will not be coming back.

[–][deleted] -1 points-1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This was a well written, inspirational post intended for TRP beginners. I looked at your submission history, where are YOUR posts contributing to this community and mentoring younger members, Mr. Content Critic?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

you really took some time to make something gayer than the post itself

[–]TwiceARunner 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy

gets right up in troghin2's face, my breath hot on his neck

yeah? and what are you gonna do about it, alpha male?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that made me laugh

nervously giggles and blushes

[–]DJNAHNAHNAH-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

sees twicearunner getting dangerously close to troghin2, and immediately feels the adrenaline rush through my entire body

boys boys... let's all just relax here, eh? we're all on the same team... steps in between them, and feels their impassioned breathing on both sides of my chiseled jaw ...aren't we?

[–]TwiceARunner 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy

"No time to relax, this faggot called me gay," I protest, poking troghin2 in the chest and inadvertently noticing his sinewy chest and taut frame

takes another step in towards troghin2 and sticks my face right in his, our lips almost touching, daring him to flinch and back off

[–]DJNAHNAHNAH-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Is that so?" I ask twicearunner, with a knowing smirk across my face. "Well then, twicearunner, are you gonna back up that claim or what?"

i brush troghin2 away from twicearunner, taking note of the disappointment in his eyes that he no longer felt the hot breath of twicearunner upon his full, wet lips... "don't worry, troghin2," i think to myself, "you'll get yours soon enough..."

i grab twicearunner by the hips and thrust our sturdy frames into troghin2 and initiate a dogpile "let's put troghin2's money where his mouth is," i grin.

[–]curunir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I weirdly want to hear the rest of this story...

[–]waynebradysworld-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hate Latin women. Ruined an otherwise solid post. 😂😂😂

[–]Viklove-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I'm not here to challenge you," he says, seconds before challenging the boy's hair and glasses.

[–]tejarbakiss-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guaranteed this kid you spent your entire gym time studying has seen way more lady private parts than you have.

[–]bignuggies -2 points-2 points [recovered] | Copy

This post made me realize how beneficial it would be to have a masculine/red pill mentor in person. I mean, reading about how to be masculine is great and it's better than living in a blue pill fantasy, but text is a poor substitute for another human.

[–]Ganaria_Gente1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

this is very true. unfortunately, 'big bro' programs in school or uni is very rare, and where they exist, it's very.....BP

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Seems like all those programs are fine with society as long as we're supervised by women so things don't, you know, get out of hand... Wouldn't want us teaching boys to box or to shoot rifles or build fires... no... musn't have that... let's ask the women to tell us how to teach our boys to be men...

[–]Mckallidon1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Work in a very tight kitchen or construction crew. Everything on here was taught to me by the time I was 19. By the men and the waitresses lol.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Working on and moving drilling rigs gave me my social education.

[–]Mckallidon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've always preferred manual labor and manly jobs. I worked in an office for two years and wanted to shoot myself cause of all the justified aggression kept in check. If they have an HR dept., I don't work there. I don't need some miserable cunt with a catfarm that I can't have sex with trying to boss me around.

[–]verify_account 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy

Good reminder that long hair makes you look like a child. Cut it short and professional.

[–]Republic_of_Ash2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bullshit. Whatever happened to being yourself?

[–]DetachedLad-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This has made my day. Thank you!

[–]TalkingMonkey96-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I needed to see this today. Thank you so much.

[–]timrafctd-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dudebro, thanks for the biblical-esque pep talk this evening, I really needed it edit: PREACH!



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