My wife (29F) is encouraging me (31M) to have an affair?

11,394 points•2,320 comments•submitted by Not_sure_if_trap to r/relationship_advice

Wife and I have been married for 5 years. I think we have a good relationship and a great sex life. I think she thought the same. However, following a 5-day yoga retreat with a few of her work friends while I was at a conference late last year her opinion seems to have soured.

Apparently "Fernando and Sarah" have everything we have, and more, because... they're swingers! When he has sex with another woman he uses it as a learning experience to take home to his doting wife (who also bones around) and they have even more mind-blowing drug-fuelled experiences with each other while the kids are staying with grandma... or atleast that's what I'm getting from it.

So I told her flatly that I don't want to have sex with anyone else and am happy with her; and she quickly states the feeling is mutual. Case closed I thought, but then she comes back with more reasons the next week "it gives independece and freedom to the relationship."

I'm thinking maybe this is a bit of a mid-life crisis thing and made it clear I'm just not really into banging other people because it feels too much like cheating, but she's insistent! She keeps going on and on about her work friend Fernando talking about how mindblowing the experience has been for him and how we really need to try it.

SO at this point I'm thinking: are you wanting to cheat on me? She's entirely focussed on me going out and having sex with someone else, but I'm sitting here thinking "what's in it for her?" It's concerning.

Straw that broke the camel's back is today she came home with a picture of "Fernando's Sarah" and a hint that she's down to hook up with me at their place... I'm like... lost for words right now. How do I make it clear I don't want to ahve sex with someone else and I believe in monogamous relationships.

We have 2 kids.