I am 30, I am an employer with over 20 employees. I hire men for hands on roles because they tend to excel within them, but I am getting to a point where I am wondering what the fuck is happening to our gender..

I have male employees taking days off calling me the morning they're supposed to start work telling they're "stressed" and there's "alot going on in their lives". These are men in assistant or labouring roles, not even in demanding roles like as an engineer. These are men only a couple of years in age below me. Whom grew up in areas that were barely as rough as areas I grew up in. That despite how many courses I pay for, how many opportunities I give, they come out with this bullshit. I sit there and give the benefit of the doubt day in, and day out, compelling myself towards the compassionate side of me, hoping that the extra bit of support will propel them to become better people. But time and time again I am let down.

And I am fucking struggling to understand the mentality of men in this day and age, how they are stressed. Living alone or with an on/off gf with no kids or dependents. How they are always broke, when they only have to spend 30% of their wage supporting themselves.

And my compassion is wearing off, and I feel myself becoming less and less compassionate, and moving toward the position that men nowadays will use any excuse to avoid earning their living. Then when they do graft, they feel they deserve a fucking medal, rather then accepting its their job..

Lets go down into the detail of my life, I get up at 6am, I cook myself a breakfast of 2 boiled eggs, toast and chopped tomatoes more or less everyday. I would love to go to the gym, but I dont have time. At 06:30 I start my work ensuring delivery's and jobs start according to plan, I track 5 engineers & 5 assistants on the road ensuring they are supported and have what they need. This means endless phone calls. Literally bouncing between them to provide technical advice to engineers and quotes to customers. On top of that, when the shit hits the fan, I jump in my car and drive to site to provide onsite support to the engineer when they are "in the shit" whether it be a fuck up or changing circumstance. I then shoot off between calls to perform surveys for new installs to ensure we have enough work. I get home around 7pm and do invoicing, admin, reports until around 8pm, I then drink half a bottle of whiskey just to be able to switch off at night. It doesnt stop at weekends either as engineers are on call and customers are still calling.

My wage is no more then £50,000 a year, and I work in a cut throat industry, where if you fuck up, the customer will get somebody else out and they will slag you off. And the profit margin for mistake is minimal and can get destroyed by one mistake. yes I am asset rich, but only as long as those assets keep moving forward. If I stop the business stops, jobs dont get organised and nobody gets paid, those assets dissolve, everything depends upon me. I cannot take a sick day because I feel compelled not to let people down, I dont care about riches, I want to see everyone sorted above all else, because I am loyal to them...

and then I get a call from my employees saying they cant come in because they are stressed & depressed..

Yeah great have a day off, the rest of the business will just work twice as hard to pickup the work load and keep things going so theres a job when you get back!!

Let me put this into perspective for people out there who arent employers who infact are employed and think all employers have an easy life and rake it in.. We dont.. only a select few do, ussually those born into money..

I didnt grow up in a rich neighbourhood. Actually I grew up in the shittest roughest area of my City. My parent (Yes PARENT) tried to get me into a good school, which was 8 miles away. From the age of 4 to 8 I was sexually abused and I didnt even realise what it was when it was happening, now I bury it because it isnt worth digging up. It doesnt make me angry, or sad, it just is what is it, and it happened. It is what it is.

I had my mum, that was it, she had no money, she was working voluntary trying to get a job as a teacher after being on benefits for years. My dad paid no support, he saw me but he did fuck all with me, he just stared at a computer screen, got drunk or was asleep. In 12 years he took me to a film once and played footy with me once, that was it, but thats okay, It is what it is.

From the age of 11 every day my life was getting up at 6am, shove food down my throat, leave my house at 0615, walk to the bus stop, get the bus at 7am, arrive near my school at 0830, then walk for half an hour until it starts at 9am, then repeat the same shit every day. On top of that I was endured horrendous bullying, I didnt know anyone in the area of my school, I was an outsider, I had nobody to cover my back & team up with, I was on my own. But thats fine, it is what it is.

Except it wasnt that easy, on the way back, I'd get pff the bus and have to walk the long way home, walking through busy roads, avoiding carrying anything valuable. If I had a walkman, I was going to get mugged garuanteed. If I had a football, It would be stolen and I'd have a black eye. And I learnt that the hard way. Just walking down the street with your arms rolled up on a hot day would gaurantee getting jumped. It wasnt as if I could make friends or join a gang, I was the only white kid in a brown & black area. I was fucked. But I survived. It was what it was.

I had fight after fight in school, friends would play their popularity bullshit, siding with me when it was convenient, other times when not. I literally had to learn to be the craziest little shit in school in order to survive. I had to find the biggest wanker, scrap the fuck with them, getting beaten to a pulp and keep going at them, until people learnt not to bother.. I was too crazy and wasnt worth the hassle, as a result I didnt get many friends either..

I got to 15, left school, tried college, and found a complete lack of interest from teachers. I wasnt violent, I was very polite, despite my upbringing. But they were either alcoholics, or simply didnt give a shit.

At 17 I joined the army, I had long hair, I was overweight, and I had the piss taken out of me day in day out. The army taught me to be self sufficient, that you need to square your own shit away before you can gain respect of others. Excuses are not an option, so I forgot the shit of the past and looked to the future.

I did two operational tours of Afghanistan, I watched my mates die in combat, I was a marksman in my section on my second tour and I can confidently say I slotted dozens of enemy fighters.

At the age of 24 I achieve the rank of full screw (CPL) which is a massive achievement in the british army at that age in a combat role. I did it through sheer grit and endurance, doing everything I was told, taking bollockings, listening and learning. My peers didnt like it, they did anything they could to push me down, they were older and hated it, ranks below me were the same age, and I had to fate for respect on both sides. Every day was a battle. There were days the whole fucking regiment was against me, but I pushed through.

I get back off tour, got with a bitch of a woman and have what we call a "tour baby" not by choice. I didnt have a choice, propelled into the decision by emotional blackmail and by a personally imposed politically correct disposition to not impose on my child what my dad did upon me, which is not giving a fuck. I tried to make it work for her.

I went from being forced to do what I was told for my country to being forced to do what I was told by a woman for sake of my child. She cheated, threw abuse at me day in day out, I support her financially and uplifted my whole life for her to a completely different city only to get away from her by the skin of my teeth.

When I did, I rarely saw my daughter despite paying maintenance, and when I did see her she was dirty, uncared for, begging me not to take her back home, for 5 years.

I took the mother to court, raising all the inconsistancies in the mothers child care, my daughter being attacked and mauled by a dog and ending up in hospital for a week with serious injuries, school reports of her being unkempt, smelly and dirty. Reports of her begging teachers not to come home. I went to court, I reported it to social services, and they fucked me. Despite all this no one would help me get her out of her mothers care, not the social services, not judges, not the best barrister £10,000 can buy. I was fucked, as so is my daughter.

I later went on to setup a business, I didnt have a penny when I started, I just worked for 2 years earning fuck all personally, pumping every penny back in to the business. Working myself the bone. Looking forward to growth and bringing people in who intitially seemed like me, fuck ups and losers who just needed a chance. I invested in them, thinking they would grasp the opportunity that I never had..

And then I get a call from an employee for the 8th time this year saying they are "stressed".

Maybe this is a rant, I dont know, Im not looking for sympathy, I just want to put it into perspective when people complain about their mental issues.. Your not the only sorry sod on the planet.. and maybe you should consider your not the only fucker that has had to deal with shit.

I accept the issues that have happened in my life, and I accept they arent my life and that they arent my fault, shit just happens to you, and thats why I am able to push forward to a better future. But I am losing faith in people. When they are becoming utterly mentally weak and call in for a day off for "stress".

So my final question, am I losing empathy, or are men simply losing the ability to deal with their own shit!?