Summary:

Woman has long-distance relationship with guy-friend who makes good money, and says that it's "love". But the evidence suggests it's more a relationship of convenience with little to no romance. We then conclude with how to test if a woman is interested in you romantically or not. This essay is closely related to Signs she might be a former carousel rider looking for a provider.

 

Body:

I don't normally dismantle hamster wheels to showcase the inner-workings of the female mind in fine detail, but a recent front-page post on Imgur set off several red flags, and I risked opening the cage and getting dung on my hands to offer a perspective contrary to what the masses have accepted at face value, which means I think I'm better than them.

I also don't normally do these types of essays primarily because we don't have the man's side of the story to verify her claims and thus provide an accurate picture of the relationship, which ultimately makes the writing speculative and judgmental, but I do believe the evidence so far leans in favor of a relationship of convenience rather than claims of "love", and I'm open to any feedback that my interpretations are off. Alright let's dig in.

 

Case study

 

(Image) Girl meets boy - In junior high. We lived in neighboring towns and spent our teen years hanging out in the same rag-tag group of friends.

Extreme hoverhand indicates just friends.

 

(Image) We go to different colleges and don't see each for years...7 years... I was in my last semester of grad school before I saw him again.

Pretty girl does off to cock-llege. How many turns does the average carousel make in 7 years?

 

(Image) He was hilarious, charming, exciting... I was single. I thought I'd date him for the time before I moved on with my life post grad school.

Her wording here shows lack of attraction. Translation: "He wasn't really hilarious, charming or exciting because I was focused more on my life post grad school than wanting to be with him. But I didn't have any preferred cock at the moment, so I figured I'd 'date' him to pass the time."

 

(Image) Instantly it was love. I never had a chance. I never wanted long distance, but for some reason I would make it work for him.

Hmmm, why would a woman who shows no apparent attraction for a man entertain a long-distance relationship with him? We'll revisit her statement later, but as you look at the following photos, note the cities and states in bold, and notice how her head is always upright in the photos. This will be explained later:

 

(Image) We spent the sparse time we had together wisely, doing the things we loved. Dirt jump biking in the Mega Cavern - Louisville, Kentucky

Note the "friendship hug" - him holding her shoulder instead of her lower back the way lovers do - though they're supposedly dating.

 

(Image) Camping under the stars with nothing but sleeping bags in the desert - California

(Image) Cowboy SASS matches - Brazil, Indiana

(Image) Hiking in canyons - Fall Canyon, California

Another friendship hug.

Annnnnnd she has short hair.

Annnnnnd it's dyed.

Annnnnnd it's blue.

 

(Image) Wandering the desert just ahead of a sand storm - Death Valley, California

(Image) Canoeing through gator infested black swamps - Okefenokee Swamp, Georgia

(Image) White water rafting the olympic course- Ducktown, Tennessee

(Image) Murdering skanks in matching outfits - Florida

Another friendship hug, and she's not even fully holding him.

 

Now back to her earlier comment:

Instantly it was love. I never had a chance. I never wanted long distance, but for some reason I would make it work for him.

Translation: "While it was love for him, it was personal gratification for me. I'm not attracted to him, but he wooed me with trips around the country, and with the stress of being in grad school with no real income, I needed a vacation."

 

(Image) We spent our time apart on the phone/texting/emailing/snapchatting. We always used snapchat to the best of it's abilities.

Translation: "When I wasn't getting my sexual needs met elsewhere, I was busy cleaning my inbox of all the spam."

 

(Image) Many gifts were made and given.

Translation: "He showered me with so many things, and all I had to do was show up." A woman will only use the words "love" to describe what's really a relationship of convenience when she's deriving a benefit and doesn't want to appear shallow, so either he designed that frame, or she did it to give him the impression that it's "love".

 

After years of searching, applying, and interviewing, I landed a job in the same town. I did what I said I never would and gave up a career, packed up, and moved home with my Mom. I had an hour long commute but it was worth it to see him more often.

Translation: "Finding employment with a degree in gender studies is tough so I moved back home with mom. He was secondary in making this decision."

 

(Image) A wonderful card for our next adventure together.

Subtext: "I don't want to sound mean by saying how needy he comes across because I'm benefiting from it."

 

(Image) Obviously I circled yes.

Interesting how the 'Yes' is circled, but also includes multiple heart-shapes. A few interpretations could be made here, but from my perspective none of them suggests her "love" for him (I can offer that perspective in the comments if anyone wishes to know as it's somewhat trivial).

 

Conclusion:

Due to beta behaviors such as the friendship hug, trips around the country, and "Move in with me? Please?", a feminist is dating a Beta Bux for his resources and passing it off as "love".

To my bias, this guy had a case of the oneitis by a woman who friendzoned him, and decided to use his money to win her over. A strategy that can lead to sex yes, but it's not a gina-tingler, especially while still exhibiting beta "friendship" behavior (and all this without considering the possibility that it was she who looked him up to be her beta provider as she was nearing the Wall). So while on the surface it appears he "got the girl", it's not likely to remain a fulfilling long-term relationship that he wants because the evidence suggests she's not interested in him romantically. Which leads us to understanding why her head is upright in the photos:

A woman who is genuinely in love with a man will lean into him intimately, like this, this, this, and this. The woman in our case study shows no such affection in her photos, indicating lack of romantic interest despite her words. So any sex they have is due to her sense of moral obligation for the resources he provides, and not necessarily her desire for him. So, boring duty sex.

And while the argument could be rightfully made that LDRs rarely lead to long-term romance, in this particular case I would say the LDR is of little effect because he was attempting to buy his way into romance with her. Once a man sells his money and resources to a woman instead of his character, she will value him based on what he has (provider) rather than who he is (potential lover). And women are sexually aroused and committed to men who give them deep physical and emotional connections, not men who throw money at them.

And this is why it's important to test a woman's attraction to you by withdrawing interest in her. Show some initial interest, then withdraw to see if she chases you romantically. Because if you keep showering her with attention and gifts without testing to see if she reciprocates with affection, then it's not certain if she's with you out of love or convenience.

So the primary means of boosting a woman's love for you is through attractive looks and Alpha behavior, not your money, gifts or servitude. Love inspires commitment, loyalty and passionate sex. Convenience causes dead bedrooms and branch swinging.

 

For men in LTRs, a surefire way to test your woman's desire for you is to not come unto her for sex. Keep an upbeat, positive attitude, but don't express any sexual interest in her, especially when she's ovulating and most horny. Wait for her to come unto you, even if it's been a few weeks. If she's attracted to you romantically, she will come unto you for sex, which means kissing you, touching you and pulling you into the bedroom, and she may even signal her desire for you through wearing lingerie, makeup and perfume, all of which are good indicators that she's not cheating on you and is committed to the relationship. But if she only does non-sexual things like cook dinner, give gifts, or wanting to Netflix but not chill, then she's likely with you for resources and not romance.

 

Epilogue:

To be candid, I'm actually happy for the man in this story. It plays out like a good Nice Guy fantasy, with him being able to LTR his oneitis. Unfortunately, his friendship behavior and inclination to use money and things to attract her will likely make the relationship short-lived.