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Man immediately breaks up with his girlfriend of 5 years after she suggests an open relationship. She doesn't understand why and is "heartbroken."

by | March 02, 2017 | TheRedPill

694 upvotes

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Here is a classic example of a woman attempting to have her cake and eat it too. She eventually deleted the post because of the negative backlash in the comments.
This being the internet, a kind soul took a picture of the post which you can see here: http://imgur.com/a/Sw8fC
Essentially, this woman thought it was a good idea to bring up the idea of an open relationship to her boyfriend of 5 years. According to her, he is "amazing" i.e. good job, great sex, good family, etc. She just wanted to have purely physical sex with other men, but it would go "both ways" as if that made it any better.
He knew what this meant, that she already had a guy (or guys) in mind and was looking for an excuse to cheat. He breaks up with her on the spot and she apparently is "heartbroken" and doesn't understand why he would end a 5 year relationship over something "so small."
Of course, the reasoning eludes her completely. Not once does she think of how he is feeling, only that she has been crying for days and is completely upset. She doesn't think that to him, her wanting an open relationship meant that it was only a matter of time before she cheated.
If he said yes, someone else would be plowing his girlfriend. If he said no, it would cause tension and eventually she would fuck someone anyway. He did the only thing he could and dumps her. He completely cuts contact and even sends his friend to pick up his stuff so she can't pull any post-break up mind games on him.
She tries to justify it by saying as a response to one of the comments, "I just wanted to talk about it. If he was into it, great. If not, then also great." Again, she doesn't understand that the second she mentioned "open relationship" it was over. No one can trust their girl anymore after she mentions that.
Bottom line: Your girl may or may not cheat (or want to cheat). If she does and comes to you with some bullshit like this, cut your losses and get out.

Post Information
Title Man immediately breaks up with his girlfriend of 5 years after she suggests an open relationship. She doesn't understand why and is "heartbroken."
Author
Upvotes 694
Comments 229
Date 02 March 2017 02:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/41357
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5x3isx/man_immediately_breaks_up_with_his_girlfriend_of/
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Comments

[–]Titanstone664 points665 points  (25 children) | Copy

What a goddamn champion. He knows when to get the fuck out and how to do it correctly. Fucking ghost that bitch so hard she ends up on a paranormal TV show.

[–]RookFellar140 points141 points  (9 children) | Copy

He taught me a lesson on when to end relationship

[–]anon35202 points points [recovered] | Copy

The part that impressed me the most was the sending a friend to go pick up your things so she can't play post break up mind games.

I didn't do this, and it prolonged the post breakup sadness because they stick daggers in you every minute you're there. Women have some 200 million years of experience at this.

She just wants the relationship to end, but she doesn't want to be the one to end it, she wants victim status, and she got it. Her reputation is safe. If he's a real man, he'll let her have it. It's no skin off his back for the other poor soul she lures in, where he takes the white knight role in saving this poor victim girl from her last relationship playing dark triad lucifer's daughter games to get something for nothing.

The stories women tell about how their last breakup happened is probably mostly lies. Go find her previous lover and get to know him. If you can get his side of the story, you can dodge a bullet, I failed to do this, and I paid the price.

If you're dating a woman who's 8/10 in the looks department or higher, don't forget to read: https://illimitablemen.com/2014/02/17/lucifers-daughter/

[–]BluestBlackBalls42 points43 points  (4 children) | Copy

If he's a real man, he'll let her have it.

Does anyone else feel nauseated whenever they encounter this phrase, "...a real man."

Every time I hear it, I feel like a former cigarette smoker walking into a smoker's house.

[–]anon35202 points points [recovered] | Copy

A real man wouldn't feel nauseated when encountering the phrase "a real man".

My prescription for you is 2 frilly purses.

[–]rossiFan4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I read "2 frilly Priuses". Also applies.

[–]TyrannyVengeance-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Dark triad lucifer's daughter games" hah! I'm adding that to my verbal spank bank right now.

[–]anon35202 points points [recovered] | Copy

These words have very specific meanings, don't use them as a description of things you don't like. https://illimitablemen.com/2013/11/17/understanding-the-dark-triad/

https://illimitablemen.com/2014/09/10/understanding-the-dark-triad-qa-part-1/

And used correctly, the words are fighting words and relationship ending words. Don't use them for a verbal spank bank unless you want to join that dark side.

[–]TyrannyVengeance1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No I know what they mean I just like the combo one two punch of them together.

[–]AlwaysFlank9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I aspire to be as strong as this man one day

[–]Tuga_Lissabon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is an old one.

The problem is that it is still notable for its rarity. The recent stories are on the opposite side - like the guy who accepted to share his wife and shit like that.

So - top billing for that guy, perfect pass. Bad sign that there are no more recent ones like this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I had the balls to be that brutal with entitled girls who were objectively crossing the limit of common sense with me. Instead of just calling them out and talking (even briefly) which lead to nothing obviously.

No => GTFO and dont you dare even talking to me again

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

B-b-b-but it's not her fault.

Nobody can lie better than a chick lying to herself.

[–]rossiFan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Technically, it's not her fault on a conscious level. It's in their DNA.

[–]recon_johnny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know this was posted previously, however I enjoy it every time I see it.

I wish OP could have listed the comments. Those were glorious.

[–]0kool740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking ghost that bitch so hard she ends up on a paranormal TV show.

DAYUM!!!!!!!! Sometimes the savage is so strong you have to take a few minutes to appreciate it :-)

[–]captainsaveahoe6980 points81 points  (4 children) | Copy

Shit test nuked from orbit.

[–]Th3R00ST3R9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's' the only way to be sure.

[–]Tenth_103 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wasn't a shit test, she wasn't testing him IMHO. She made a project and was going for his green light. But it still was the appropriate response.

[–]iceblasta14136 points137 points  (6 children) | Copy

The best part is that even her friends are calling her out on it. No doubt there was some BP in the comments that told her it wasn't her fault and that her ex is being completely unreasonable. The guy handled it like a champ, GTFO as soon as he learned that she wasn't faithful.

[–]thebrandedman32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was amazed. Full blown scorched earth, absolutely beautiful.

[–]says_harsh_things13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Betas and white knights always encourage the breakup though. Half the time they follow it up with "pm me if you want to talk and happen to be near X zip code".

Theyre like fucking vultures.

[–]Fedupandlost2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wonder if any of them have actually had success with that strategy lol; I'm guessing either nothing or they got scammed.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably more than you think as after a woman is broken up with they can be an easy rebound lay for a while.

[–]omigahguy7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

"The best part is that even her friends are calling her out on it."

Let others do the talking...almost always works to your advantage...even if it takes time.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon100 points101 points  (4 children) | Copy

This guy did awesome. "You see me as beta bucks now so I'm packing my bags".

[–]dawnlander points points [recovered] | Copy

I'm just amazed at how rare it is "to see that behavior in the wild" (ok, so its really just randos on the internet). I have a friend who was in the same situation and agreed to the "open relationship"...of which he stayed sexless beta provider and she whored around to her whimsy.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have a friend who was in the same situation and agreed to the "open relationship"...of which he stayed sexless beta provider and she whored around to her whimsy.

Men misunderstand that she can get free cock anytime she likes whereas he cannot - especially without the possible lure of his commitment due to having a gf.

[–]1OneRedSock126 points127 points  (3 children) | Copy

An instant classic, and a great reminder.

If a woman ever brings up this type of topic, it's always better to listen instead of immediately shutting down the conversation with a hard line opinion. They'll openly admit to red flags, then you can make your move based on what they say. Maintaining a playful, nonchalant demeanor while probing further into the topic will result in a lot of free information about who this person really is.

Whatever type of relationships you pursue with women, whether plates or LTR, always foster open dialogue, but never give up more information than they do. Remember, it's not a debate -- people rarely deviate from their belief systems. You take the info and make the best move for you.

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

An EC has asked me to point you for this comment.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a woman ever brings up this type of topic

If a woman is taking about it, she has already been thinking about it. If she has been thinking about it, she wants it. If she wants it, there is no floor in how far she will stoop to get it; the only question is if there are road blocks to achieve it. Public shaming and the stocks did a good job keeping women (mostly) faithful. With the barriers being deconstructed in modern society, men have no choice but to assume IT WILL HAPPEN. His reaction was as if it was actually happening which is exactly the right reaction.

[–][deleted] 87 points88 points  (15 children) | Copy

If I'm this guy (and I would do the same exact thing), I am waking up super grateful every day for at least the next year. Knowing that she showed me her hand BEFORE any legal commitment, especially with how "well" things had been for FIVE years? What a fucking blessing for this guy, because, based off of her description of the relationship, everything was great, so I'm guessing she played the part REAL well.

Then again, he probably noticed other small things over the years that tipped him off slightly and this probably just confirmed for him that she is not worth it. Either way, have to be happy when they show who they really are so as to leave no doubt what your next move is.

[–]Funfundfunfcig18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

based off of her description of the relationship, everything was great, so I'm guessing she played the part REAL well.

Nah, it was great because she currently thinks she fucked up and wants him back. If the hamster would spin in other direction, we'd be hearing how he was an inconsiderate jerk because he didn't want to argue with her for no reason.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah that wasn't what I was saying though. She clearly needs a variety of dick and is willing to risk her "great" relationship for a chance at that. I don't even know wtf you're trying to say here...

[–]Funfundfunfcig0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Calm down. I'm trying to say the relationship most probably wasn't all roses already. She would paint a different picture in no time if it would suit her narrative. This was only the final red flag.

[–]AlwaysFlank8 points9 points  (9 children) | Copy

How do you not get angry at "well, there goes five wasted years I'll never get back"?

[–]Bisuboy18 points19 points  (6 children) | Copy

If you think like that it is always going to cost you. Losses that lie in the past are gone forever. If you still think of them and try to recover them, then you are a broken man.

For example, if you lose 10k at the stock market, it's gone. It is sunken cost. If you think you have to get those 10k back as fast as possible, you are probably going to lose even more.

[–]AlwaysFlank4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Money is one thing, but how do you drop five years worth of emotional investment in an instant?

[–]Bisuboy8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know, and I hope I won't need to do it. However, you can take comfort in the thought that breaking up with such a whore probably saved you a lot of money, time and emotional damage.

You were on the wrong way and you realized it 5 years in. Ideally you should have realized it 5 years earlier, but on the other hand you could have realized it 5 years later (so you would have wasted 10 years in total) and your situation would be much worse by then. You could literally be in a happy marriage and have 2 children.

[–]AlwaysFlank1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, I suppose it's all perspective and you always have to look at the positives. Thanks for the answer

[–]endogenic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you say emotional investment, are you talking about actual love you practiced for her (such as teaching), or are you talking about an attachment / affection that you have, i.e. idealism?

One thing to remember is that when people purchase stocks with the intent of selling them at a profit (or doing the same effective thing with options, et al) they are actually engaging in speculation… not investment.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best way is to never start investing.

[–]LaRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have to be always ready to leave her, your emotional investment will be worse, but your peace of mind will be better.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Because if you internalize "she is not yours, it's just your turn" it will make sense. To get out unscathed? Shit, man. Most guys would love for that.

Also, how are you not angry? Because he is clearly a desirable male, probably late twenties? Going back to the market at this point will be fun for this guy.

[–]AlwaysFlank0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Internalize trp, become desirable. I see it. Thanks

[–]Dravous1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then again, he probably noticed other small things over the years that tipped him off slightly and this probably just confirmed for him that she is not worth it.

I strongly suspect this as well. a man who can drop a 5 year relationship on the spot is almost super human....unless he's seen the writing on the wall already and she just confirmed it.

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (19 children) | Copy

As with anything, when a woman resorts to direct, overt communication, it's because it's already too far gone.

  • If she needs space, it's because she already broke up in her mind, and usually has the next beau lines up
  • If she is considering an open relationship, she already have D+1 in mind

Women don't do uncertainty, and risk, they do certainty. I guarantee she gave subtle hints leading up to, whether he caught them or not, who knows? It was going nowhere, she she got desperate, switched to overt communication.

[–]Redditisfullofcucks89 points90 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she needs space

http://i.imgur.com/Xzxt1gI.jpg

[–]Enlightened_Chimp19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Space is pretty goddamn alpha, not gonna lie

[–]AncientScrolls33 points34 points  (14 children) | Copy

The funny thing is it looks like she clearly cant notice that she lost the attraction that she used to feel to him and now sees him as a beta bux. This is not the first time i see somehting like this. Sometimes I feel girls have a hard time seeing what their personality is like.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (11 children) | Copy

I don't even think about that stuff. Just like the guy in the story.

You're heavily focused on understanding her thoughts, pointing out where she fucked up. It's her frame, all about 'her'. Instead of focusing and framing it in femenine-centric terms (fem-centric can be good or bad, but focused on the woman) frame it as a man, with your own mental point of origin.

He has standards, boundaries, and non-judgemental about them. It wasn't throwing away 5 years of value, it was cutting losses and moving on. I'll never know if he gave it a second thought, but in an ideal word, it was if it never existed.

Granted, it sounds as if he has a good circle of friends, who have his back, probably bought the scotch, and gave him a couch to have his afternoon of vulnerability, before picking himself up and starting again.

That's the story, thats the narrative, and thats how an RP focus works. Male solipsism, because someone has to focus on you.

[–]AncientScrolls8 points9 points  (10 children) | Copy

I know Its wrong to focus on this stuff. Its just that every time I see stories like this It makes me question if women can ever be worth our time for other things besides sex and breeding, since its clear women have a hard time understanding concepts like loyalty and respect. Its kinda creepy. It looks as if every Women have some sociopath/autistic traits. I´m not trying to defend them on the opposite I´m just saying female brains looks so fucked up and bizarre sometimes.

To put in a better analogy Its like something is missing in their mind like a "gear". Its like as if they are just a software computer and cant evolve or do anything beyond what they were programmed to do.

As for the guy I´m glad he knew how to handle with RedPill mentality the situation and had friends to help him out ditch this bitch.

[–]BoatingMishap14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women handle loyalty and respect just fine. It's just their version of loyalty and respect hangs on your ability to man up. They can't respect or be loyal to someone whose weaker than them. They also cant do it, if they're already damaged.

If you're looking for long term girlfriend material, go find a wholesome hobby or group. Find a woman who has a lot of religious conviction. Watch out for the warning signs. The biggest one for me is getting drunk. If a woman gets drunk, they're not a good woman.

The biggest thing you can do is just go out an date. Every time you're let down, write down what made her an asshole to you. Next time you date, watch for those warning signs, until you've whittled it down to a fine art. Never get married, and always wear a condom. Most of all, have fun. If it's not fun, then whats the point?

[–]lemming16073 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you find a woman that thinks like a man, shes a man, not a woman. They are what they are, dont overthink it.

[–]killking720 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The good ol hot/crazy matrix

[–]weakandsensitive17 points18 points  (6 children) | Copy

I see stories like this It makes me question if women can ever be worth our time for other things besides sex and breeding, since its clear women have a hard time understanding concepts like loyalty and respect.

That's not the point of women. If you want a man in your life, be a fag.

This mentality screams autistic and socially retarded. If you think women don't understand loyalty and respect, you're hanging around other autists too much. Their drivers for loyalty and respect aren't the same. Again though, that's a YOU problem.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

He's not being autistic. Loyalty and respect are male traits that were bred through war.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/

[–]LaRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They are loyal and they do respect you, but their drivers are different than us.

[–]zephyrprime1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well you criticized a lot but still didn't actually answer any of his questions. Do you got the answers or not?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The difference is that men are more likely to end a relationship if they get the point of disloyalty or disrespect.

It's like a friends. I won't be friends with some that I do not respect nor feel loyalty towards.

[–]zephyrprime2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

They really do have a hard time seeing their own personality. They have a lower level of self awareness. That's what makes solipsism possible. I wish I understood how the gears could turn in their heads to make this possible.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yet they are told they are more self aware simply because they supposedly feel feelings more intensely or more often and they pick up on social cues more on average.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is probably the most insightful comment I've come across on this sub.

[–]elcarlosmiguel101 points102 points  (4 children) | Copy

This hoe would win gold medal at mental gymnastics olympics Lmao

[–]samenrofringslikeLBJ points points [recovered] | Copy

Nah nah, this is entry level stuff for the hamster. The real challenge would have been her doing 5 guys at once and him catching her in the act. Leave it to a woman to find a way to explain why it really wasn't her doing.

[–]Magnum00723 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I invited them over, got naked but it was rape I swear"

[–]NibblyPig8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you treated me well for a change

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana58 points59 points  (3 children) | Copy

Oldie but goodie from 2013. I believe we've discussed this one a few times but I can't find any submissions after a brief search. Here's an archive: https://archive.fo/WhogR

[–]asktrpthrow12325 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

A wild alpha male has appeared.

[–]Lsegundo24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy

There is red gold in her post too!

He hates fighting and never raises his voice.

Rock solid frame.

dude tells the gf "I have nothing against women that sleep around as long as they are open about it."

Was this indirection so she would open up to him instead of cheating behind his back? Law 3 - Conceal your Intentions, Law 24 Play the Perfect Courtier, master the art of indirection.

Should you tell LTRs:

  • If you cheat on me its over instantly

or

  • If anyone cheated on me Id be deeply hurt. We would have to have a long discussion to see if the relationship could be saved (knowing full well you will actually apply the first option and ghost her ass immediately)

Since then he blocked me from calling and on all social media and won't speak to me. I don't know where he is staying. His friends will not talk to me and come to get his stuff (this was a live in gf)... The chick is stalking him at work, but the receptionist will not let her in.... all I do is cry and cry and cry.. I just want to hear his voice...

Ghosted! A+++ move. Any attempt to engage the hamster in conversation about this will lead to psychological manipulation about how he is a shitlord and oppressing her. The conversation will lead to her feeling good about the breakup and him feeling like even more shit than he already feels. Its harsh, but the best move for him in this situation. Always leave them wanting more. The forecast calls for 95% chance of alpha-widowing.

asked about throwing away 5 years over nothing the dude replies "he is not throwing anything away. He is cutting his loses"

correct mind set.

I dont know what to do.. some friends tell me what do you expect... others are there for me

Modern feminism ruins another relationship. She can't see it but asking to get plowed by random dudes means the intimacy is finished and there is no point continuing the relationship. The dudes turn has ended. He recognized this and handles it like a man.

[–]logicalthinker17 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

And ghosting is important not simply because it's sweet revenge, but because any little contact has a chance of sucking you back into the relationship. Once she proves herself unworthy, there's literally no reason to waste your precious time with her for any reason.

[–]TRP_MushaShugyo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Late response here, but are you suggesting that the second option is better, because you will more easily expose her cheating nature? Hadn't considered this kind of strategy...

[–]Lsegundo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am not sure there is an answer to that.

If you cheat on me its over instantly

She knows the rules, but would probably lie if she cheated to prevent a break up.

If anyone cheated on me Id be deeply hurt. We would have to have a long discussion...

More likely to out herself, but you're also saying that she might be able to cuck you and keep you around.

[–]TRP_MushaShugyo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. The former sounds stronger and more indicative of a leader. I'd go with that one, although probably a bit less directly; "No gf of mine would ever cheat on me or it'd over." Thanks.

[–]Assassin1476105 points106 points  (14 children) | Copy

This dude just did the Future Trunk's, slice and dice to this bitch and his relationship. Didn't waste no time at all!

[–]alltrueism33 points34 points  (12 children) | Copy

Ever notice how Bulma hamsters her relationship with Vegeta?

[–]Assassin147667 points68 points  (11 children) | Copy

What I've noticed is how bulma left sorry, weak ass beta Yamcha for Mr. Steal yo gurl, stoic, alpha, why cant I SURPASS KAKAROT, Vegeta.

[–]WhorehouseVet13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

Not to mention he's a goddamn prince.

[–]TyrannyVengeance13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Of a planet that doesn't exist.

[–]TedCruzEatsBoogers27 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even better, that makes it "mysterious"

[–]asktrpthrow1230 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

They really ruined his character in DBS. Betafied the crap out of him too.

[–]1TimmyTurnersNuts14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree. Dude is a lot stronger and more calm and tame. He's old and has a family to protect. Can't be flying off the handle anymore

[–]askmrcia8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ehhh i get where you coming from but I think it's cool to see him wanting to be there for the birth of his child. Honestly he's more of a man than goku.

He still does not put up with bulma's shit. Goku is the one who goes farming because chi chi bitches at him while she just sits on her ass all day

[–]asktrpthrow123-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was referring more to overall how he's gotten soft.

While those things might be admirable qualities (caring for his family, his planet, etc.), it was a bit of a let down that the cold-blooded prince of all saiyans thirsty for nothing but power has now become a family man. I get it why it turned out this way, but it ruins his character in the context of the show. I like Super as a light-hearted show to watch but it definitely holds no candle to Z. They also IMO, ruined a lot of good characters, especially Gohan, Piccolo, Gotenks who are practically useless nowadays. And I can't let go of the grudge of what they did in the Zamasu arc to Vegito.

[–]FreeRadical5-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Where do you faggots come from?

[–]Bodybuilder145314 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn that guy was a true smart fella. I respect him for his wise decision. Also fuck that bitch, got what she deserves.

[–]Dude1287613 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

now this is how man with fucking testosterone handle woman respect

[–]BuckStricklandx12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I love how the very first way she describes him is "has a good job"

[–]Neutral_User_Name5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Struck me like a truck, too. Yep, gender equality, my a**.

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This shit's so classic, it's probably what got a good chunk of us to TRP in the first place

[–]morexel10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are lucky if this happens to you. Better to be given overt warning than cheated on and deal with gaslighting.

[–]PMmeareasontolive5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah- I appreciate her honesty. And I'm sympathetic to the idea of wanting more than one dick in your lifetime. Now I'm old and don't care so much but when I was young I had to end a few relationships because I needed to know what sex was like with another person. Are you really going to be satisfied at that age with one sex partner for the rest of your life? I don't know about others but my answer is "no". How do you deal with that if you aren't poly?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably she already cheated if there was a chance.

[–]goldnhorde12 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

I didn't see anyone cover a few points which I would like to.

  1. I love the cut off. just total cut off. and a good enough guy to NOT talk about it with her friend. just BANG!!!

  2. No one, man or woman, brings up an open relationship without being at least 75% sure that a target they already have in mind is going to sleep with them.

  3. I love her claim that "hey ... it goes both ways". first, by bringing it up, she proves via rule 2 that she already has someone she is going to cheat with ... and that is if she hasn't already. but here is the real hurdle. While BOTH are free to have this open relationship .... the man still has to go out and hunt and earn a pussy ... girl just has to say yes.

[–]wohlstand points points [recovered] | Copy

Thats actually some good points that help me understand this better. Because I thought at least she was honest and upfront about it. So many other women are sneaky and cheat behind the guys back, so of course just ASKING about an open relationship makes this a better woman than one who cheats behind your back, right? So I dont really see all the hate she faces, but yeah, you do bring up good points.

[–]goldnhorde0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you need to define "better woman" in your question: "So many other women are sneaky and cheat behind the guys back, so of course just ASKING about an open relationship makes this a better woman than one who cheats behind your back, right?"

Is it better that she asked than just ran out the back door and started cheating on her boyfriend? Yes.

Isn't this just two roads to the same end and neither woman is "better"? yes, both women are cheating on their boyfriend and from a certain point of view, the manipulation of the one trying to have an open relationship is a little worse. I say this because she is trying to trick someone who cares about her into her selfishness. she knows he has no interest in this.

[–]BonelessSkinless-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

But you don't get it. The minute she's ASKING anything about an open relationship she's already made up her mind. Guaranteed there are several guys in her phone wanting to fucking plow her and cum inside and she wants a few of them. I guarantee it. Her bringing this up is just an inadvertent way to get to fuck other guys. Her attraction is gone and she doesn't care about her guy anymore because now she wants new dick. Ghosting her whore ass was the smartest thing this guy could've done. Women need to learn it's not okay to be fucking whores or you'll get left. Too many guys stick around and get all pathetic and whiny and emotional. Just fucking accept she's a slut and cut out.

[–]DesignerTom0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Interesting point about how she probably has a guy already in mind that she wants to fuck. Is this often the case like you say? The way I interpreted it is that the girl expects to find a guy willing to fuck her, I mean it is easy for a girl to get laid. Therefore she doesn't need to have anyone in mind, she can just load up tinder and find a guy the same day. So, therefore she may be more sincere in this than wanting to fuck Chad from work.

[–]goldnhorde0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She more than likely already knows WHO she is going to sleep with and she already knows that she is going to have no issues arranging it.

What's more, it is more than likely a mediated branch swinging. she WANTS to sleep with the other guy. she WANTS to maybe be with that guy. she is sure she can sleep with him but not get him. so there is the plan: sleep with him with permission from the boyfriend.

so when things work out with guy #2, guess what happens? the lifetime movie drama.

  1. IF the boyfriend has found someone to practice this open relationship with .... "this is too much. it's just too much. I can't believe you slept with her. I didn't know this was going to hurt as much. I need for us to be apart and think." at which time she moves in with guy 2.

  2. if the other guy Doesn't find another girl to have open relationship with: "me and guy 2 just happened. it wasn't planned. I never thought that we would end up having feelings for one another. this is all so confusing and I love you. I think we need to be apart so I can think and be fair to all of us". at which time she moves in with guy 2

Before you commit to someone, you need to make sure they are enough for you. they have looks you want to look at all the time. they have conversations you want to have all the time. they take care of themselves and the home and you the way you want all the time. the second one of the couple says you are not enough ... it's over.

[–]Lsegundo8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

He knew what this meant, that she already had a guy (or guys) in mind and was looking for an excuse to cheat. He breaks up with her on the spot...

BOSS! I am sure it wasn't easy to dump a 5 year relationship. It is funny how everything is going down the shitter. A decade or two ago it would have been obvious that asking to open a 5 year relationship means it is over. In 2017 the woman is confused why dude doesn't want some other guy ramming his cock into his gfs mouth.

it was only a matter of time before she cheated. If he said yes, someone else would be plowing his girlfriend. If he said no, it would cause tension and eventually she would fuck someone anyway. He did the only thing he could...

The only thing he should do. Being the cuck is the other option.

He completely cuts contact and even sends his friend to pick up his stuff so she can't pull any post-break up mind games on him.

DOUBLE BOSS! The guy knows it is going to be drama city. He might cry, end up in bed with her and take her back.

she doesn't understand that the second she mentioned "open relationship" it was over. No one can trust their girl anymore after she mentions that.

This is nothing more than "branch swinging with a safety net" The dude knows this and handled it like a champ. Be like the dude. Never be some hos safety net.

[–]FrancoB42 points points [recovered] | Copy

Bitch had it coming. Got what she deserved.

[–]BonelessSkinless3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Women need to understand that if you wanna be a slut then then you do it solo. Don't bother getting into a relationship because that open relationship, multiple partners bullshit is a one way ticket to being single unless she's with a beta, cuck, pathetic fucking idiot. Let's prove how strong our bond is by me going to some other guys house that you don't know and letting him shove his dick in my mouth while I stick a finger in his ass. Yep sure shows relationship solidarity all right, get the fuck out.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

This guy reads TRP, I guarantee it.

[–]XZTALVENARNZEGOMSAYT12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

We know you're reading this, guy!

[–]pherislore points points [recovered] | Copy

This guy deserves a fucking ruby-encrusted gold medal with an emerald the size of a fist in the middle

[–]Magnum00714 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think a wheel barrel to help carry his balls is more appropriate.

[–]StummpyTrump30 points31 points  (7 children) | Copy

Open relationships are a rotten deal for men. Essentially the woman wants the security of a stable relationship with the pleasure and excitement of being a complete whore.

The man gets nothing. There's no guarantee the woman will stay loyal to the man and she is likely to jump ship as soon as a better option appears. There's no foreseeable point where the "experience" ends, it could go on indefinitely. She will never be yours again and you'll never regain your self-respect.

Agreeing to such a relationship is agreeing to be a cuckold. You're that woman's backup plan.

Don't do it, don't even entertain the idea and definitely don't propose it to your girlfriends.

[–]AnindoorcatBot2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

my best friend started dating a married woman in an open relationship, she let OP husband know they were getting a divorce in january. Now they don't have a pesky husband competing for time.. shit they're on the phone right now.

:l

I mean, op husband & I had some fun banging tinder whores every weekend but I don't think he wanted a divorce! Open relationship was his idea, too.

[–]asktrpthrow1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't forget, it's much easier for a girl to bang random guys within the week, whereas for the average guy he'll have to start cultivating options again.

[–]toadstule0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Been a good deal for me. That's why I proposed it to her. Told her if she didn't want one I'd stay monogamous for her and I meant it. She agreed she also would stay monogamous for me if required. But it wasn't required so we've had some fun. I've fucked five other girls she's fucked two other guys and we had a threeway with her female friend. Either of us can end it and go back to monogamy at any time. We still fuck each other all the time and neither of us is a backup plan.

Of course the willingness to be monogamous forever if required was key. If she'd come to me and said she needed an open relationship I would've ended it right then and there, and I would expect the same from her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

you're also dreading the fuck out of her.

[–]toadstule0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What does that mean? I think I know what it means but if you wouldn't mind elaborating.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

women gauge a man's sexual attractiveness largely based on how much other women want him. women use social proof more than intrinsic value. so when he says this...

I've fucked five other girls she's fucked two other guys and we had a threeway with her female friend.

she's absolutely keeping score, and it's 5-2 with a threesome on top all in his favor. the fact that other women want to fuck him means that she sees him as having very high value. the fact that he can leave her at any time and she believes that he can still get laid = dread. the fact that she KNOWS with 100% certainty (so it's not just a fear or belief) that he can leave her at any time and still get laid = nuclear dread.

women would rather share an alpha than own a beta.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

The guy did the right thing. If you willingly stand on quicksand youre nothing but a fool.

[–]FloridaNSUplz15 points16 points  (9 children) | Copy

I've read this somewhere. This has been posted a few times actually, but I've never seen the comments to that thread.

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tl;dr the chick gets BTFO by everyone, because she fucking deserved it

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Am I allowed to post a link to a different sub in the comments? If so, I have the original thread link.

[–]FloridaNSUplz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not sure. Pretty sure the automod automatically removes any links.

[–]AnindoorcatBot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

archive it and post archive link.

also the admins have their hands full with the donald so posting dead thread links in here probably isn't the biggest deal but archive would save anyones ass from automods iron fist.

[–]Docbear643 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Someone Posted this higher up : https://archive.fo/WhogR

[–]jolly--roger2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's from 2013 and I remember it too. a TRP classic, reposted once in a while to a fresher audience.

[–]mansmanifesto5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very admirable move from the guy. I know most men would stick around, but as King-Macbeth pointed out, it doesn't matter if he said no. The idea is already out there, i.e. he knows that she is very much capable of fucking other guys.

I had a girl that I was together with for a pretty long time, who called me one day and said that she had an idea of how to finance her (whatever she was trying to get money for) and the idea was to go out on dates with guys for money...

it didn't take much thinking from my side before I broke off all ties with her, even though I had a lot of emotional investment in her...

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Props to the dude but must be shit for him too. Sounds like he'll be alright though.

[–]BigSloppySunshine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy is awesome. It's good to see a bastion of intelligence in the sea of complete morons.

If some other dude's gonna be fucking your girlfriend there's absolutely no reason to keep her around.

[–]1empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (28 children) | Copy

Excuse my stupid question but in this situation what is the best 'attitude' to have when leaving.

Whenever I leave a 'paring' (of any type) I always tend to have a 'friendly' good bye and say "hey this was a great time/experience. Hope you have a great time doing 'whatever'. See ya round" or something but I think this hurts my power when exiting such a pairing. It seems that going completely silent is super butthurt and I naturally tend to try and give some closure, which I've learned isn't really that helpful.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG10 points11 points  (15 children) | Copy

I think this hurts my power when exiting

Logically, if you're exiting a pairing and just being civil in the process, it doesn't 'hurt your power' because the relationship is already finished - you don't need power anymore, because the game is over.

It becomes a problem when women try to exploit that friendly goodbye into 'staying friends' which means 'still doing them favors, just without the sex'. If you suspect it might go that way, then just go no-comms and be done.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

I guess I asked the wrong question. I agree if I have zero care about this person then I will naturally go zero contact as I don't care. But I meant to ask using it as a power play. Going silent seems butthurt whereas openly showing I 'am unaffected' seems more powerful. Or am I being stupid by 'trying' to show anything at all. This is something I've had trouble deciding on since TRP.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

I'm not sure if I understand you:

Are you asking how to behave when you're breaking up with a girl, or a girl is breaking up with you?

If so, then like I said: it doesn't matter much whether you act butthurt or friendly, because it's over.

If you're asking how to behave in between hookups or dates, then that's an entirely different thing.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Ha I'm asking using the threat of walking away as a power play. This guy simply walked away so who cares how he acted. What if I want to show that I'm prepared to walk away unless she shapes up. What's the best 'demeanour' to have to show that I'm not joking but I'm not butthurt either way.

[–]2Overkillengine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

threat of walking away as a power play.

If you have to overtly use such a threat, you've already lost her, just cut your losses and move on in silence.

[–]yes_we_can_t0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

There's nothing wrong with making statements that define your boundaries, e.g. "I'd immediately leave any woman who would [...]" in response to discussing some abstract situation. I have done that several times after reading some stupid relationship post, and it just seem to work like a basic dread game. It displays an abundance mentality.

However, you seem to be talking about something that annoys you that you would like to change about her. Or she cheated, or implied that she would, or whatever. Then you have to understand that the answer is she will never change and you should just leave.

In addition to the myth that one day your life will be fundamentally different, you may believe, and hope, that one day your woman will be fundamentally different. Don't wait. Assume she's going to be however she is, forever. If your woman's behavior or mood is truly intolerable to you, you should leave her, and don't look back (since you cannot change her). However, if you find her behavior or mood is merely distasteful or a hassle, realize that she will always seem this way: The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Basically to shed all the mystery I am talking about how I cut contact with my oneitis pre TRP and I still think about it. She started misbehaving to see what I would do so I sent a message that was basically a goodbye message but in good spirits (because I'm not going to waste time arguing or lose frame), "I had a good time. Hope you find what you're looking for" etc. It was a last chance for her to make an effort to fix her end up: it had a dual possibility purpose. She replied with an apology and how she'd shape up but it just felt too insincere to me so I left her message unread and moved on (to nothing).

My question was: does sending a kind goodbye message as a power play in the situation I described above project weakness and beta behaviour or does it display the non-butthurtness that it was intended. Strange question I know.

[–]yes_we_can_t0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If that was your entire message, it was perfectly fine. It's basically a polite next. If it was actually long and sappy, it would probably be better if you didn't send it.

You should not have sent it "with a dual purpose"; you know you had already made the right decision to cut contact with her. Who wants that kind of annoyance in their life? Anyway, since you didn't end up playing her game it ended up being just for the single purpose anyway.

Now stop giving any more thought about how you appeared to her. That's the only "beta behaviour" part of this. Also, next time just give the details immediately, so people don't have to guess wtf you really mean to give you good advice.

[–]1empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well it was pre TRP and I didn't know AWALT, and it's pretty much the first girl I was in such a situation with. The message was longer and and more beta but that was the jist. She easily had the opportunity to improve herself but she had lost interest in me I guess. She was a slut anyway.

[–]BonelessSkinless0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"She started misbehaving to see what I would do"

So then why would you be kind in your goodbye? I understand you had lingering attachments, positive feelings and maybe even happy memories with that girl... but if she's blatanty acting up to the point you're aware of it she's not just doing it as a shit test... she doesn't give a fuck about you anymore (as her main guy for the moment). You seemed weak. I gurantee you she doesn't feel bad at all and you sending her off in a kind manner even enables her shitty behavior further. Should have just cut your losses completely and dipped.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 'kind' to show that her behaviour won't change who I am/won't lose frame, because that's what she was trying to achieve. Not overly kind but just polite and also indicating to her covertly "you blew it without upsetting me". Maybe that's immature; this is what I'm trying to clarify.

I did cut my losses and my actions were more important than words. She apologised 3 times in her reply but I decided to myself it wasn't good enough and left her message 'unread' and moved onto find TRP. She then sent another message which I left 'unread' where she hamstered that I was too mature for her haha and out of her league etc and that MAYBE WHEN SHES OLDER SHE CAN SHOW ME PROPERLY HOW SHE FEELS, which was an attempt to put me as beta in her mind I guess. Whatever. Just wanted to understand the flaws in my approach. Cheers

[–]TedCruzEatsBoogers20 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I think this dude could leave angry. This girl lied about the type of girl she was and wasted his time since he's obviously looking for someone who is wife-able material. That is 5 years of wasted time which is a pretty justifiable reason to be angry without being considered petty.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Being angry gives her hamster fuel to turn the situation into something that she can justify "he was too controlling!". I understand stoic but to me stoic can also be interpreted as butthurt.

[–]TedCruzEatsBoogers21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well definitely don't angrily argue with her. Beyond that, who cares what she says. Just get your shit and leave. I don't think what emotion you're showing matters all that much as long as you stick to your logically derived conclusion that all further interactions with this woman are a waste of your time.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can basically do whatever as long as your completely emotionless. This guy was basically as close to perfect as you can get. So much so that she admitted to stalking his work because she was so distraught.

[–]1empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The question I'm asking basically is how fine is the line between emotionless and butthurt.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think this is a case of doing the best you can. My personal experience is that amused mastery wins in most situations, including a breakup. The most devastating thing you can do to a women is make her think you don't care at all and leaving is no big deal, which is what leaving with a smile and no butthurt is.

however, amused mastery, especially at the end of a ltr is not easy for most people to pull off. but, what more people find possible is emotionlessness, or at least, no contact. It's not quite as perfect, but still effective, and is easier for people to do.

NC will at least keep you from falling into the trap of trying to get back together, or get closure, or other such bullshit.

it's the idea that...sure, maybe 5-6 days in the gym is what you should be doing, but 3-4 will still get you good results and is more than most people can manage.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great that's what I was looking for. Cheers

[–]WhorehouseVet4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be stoic, like you're dropping off garbage at the dump, because that's all she's to you now.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like to take the disappointed dad approach. Silent and serious. Make her feel disappointment...

[–]M0RKET1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel it depends on the severity of the other party's transgressions (if any). If possible, I prefer to not burn bridges, and it's something I had to learn to do, because my natural inclination is to be brutal and dramatic. Time passes, and over time you forget the pain associated with a person. You had something in common to begin with, and it's more than can be said on average of total strangers walking on the street. It may be worth not treating a person you used to be close with like one of the strangers. You never know. They might hook you up with a job opportunity, or invite you to an event they organize where you might meet somebody cool. Multiplied by time and by multiple people abandoned, it adds up to a lot of potentially wasted opportunities.

That said, if they demonstrated through their actions cruelty, disrespect or malevolence, then fuck 'em. You're better off without a painful reminder in your life. And you're better off without people who do you harm. Just cut them out of your life cold turkey.

Like another comment said, at this point the power plays are already irrelevant in a practical, pragmatic sense. But they still matter for your self esteem and for how you view and feel about yourself. This is very important. If you thinks you're better off without a person looking forward, it's fine to indulge in your petty urges, because why not?

[–]BonelessSkinless1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't be friendly or nice. Don't be afraid to be mean or an asshole because you're not. When you leave things nicely like that you enable the whore into thinking what she was doing wasn't that bad. Just fucking be as mean as possible or just cut it and ghost, don't even give time for bullshit on her end.

[–]falconpush0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do the same when leaving. I had an Ex leave me and move on to another guy, but never really fully explained what happened between us. Since that time, i have always offered closure to my Exes if they wanted it ( it would have made the grieving process easier for me at that time). Ive just always been a fan of open communication. But im not quite sure where this leaves me.

[–]Tuga_Lissabon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good, neutral attitude. Make civil noises.

Then be just you know, too busy to catch up. Modern life is such a hustle.

Sort of like a facebook friend, really - the bare appearance, none of the reality.

[–]jcrpta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He did. He told her to have a nice life then left.

Anything beyond that is simply enabling her behaviour.

[–]RedPimpin3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

also something to consider is that the woman claims he's "so alpha" etc AFTER he dropped her like a bad habit (aka showed alpha traits) so obviously she talks from the perspective of her feels in the present moment and doesn't consider how she felt before she brought it up to him, she probably thought he's a chump but turns out he's a champ

[–]nantucketghost4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted REMOVED BY AUTOSCRIPT - GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

[–]Purecorrupt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Cutting losses while I can."

Fuck I need to learn to do this with my stocks. Holding too many bags and then falling knife happens.

Good for that guy though. He's not stuck in the sunk cost fallacy.

"If he was into it, great. If not, then also great."

Why you gotta be a habitual line stepper! Kids do this a lot. To see what they can get away with. It's like poking a bear. She tries so hard to rationalize it, but she crossed a line she knew she couldn't cross. She knew he was "traditional". Like a great salesman she went with the it can benefit both of us!

Now that she's experienced what she painted as a great relationship I wonder if she'll ever be satisfied with future ones. #AlphaWidow?

[–]stonecats4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

my guess is she had been taking him for granted for a while,
and this was just the last straw - so he cut bait and ran.
she imagines some great reconciliation would fix this,
she is oblivious to how selfish she's been all along.

[–]Bielzabutt3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ya that guy is my hero. That girl's post should be skywritten over all major cities.

[–]HeinousFu_kery1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A couple of observations:

  • She was already sleeping with someone and wanted ex post facto approval to do so - I guarantee it. No woman is going to jeopardize her current position without a backup. He should get tested for STDs just to play it safe.

  • Sending a friend for stuff (unless it's just a couple of things) is a good idea but kind of lame. Bringing one or several friends as help/BS detectors/witnesses is a better idea.

[–]asotranq3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I actually read that post in full and pretty much got up and did a round of applause for that guy, wow that is some fucking justice right there. The moment someone suggest an open relationship the relationship they're in is over, assuming both parties aren't cool with that. There's not a doubt in my mind that this issue would not have reared its ugly head again, good on this guy for not falling for the sunk cost fallacy, the right one is out there for him somewhere.

[–]1htbf3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh my God is that sentence perfect. It's the most important thing in the whole post :

He's amazing - great job, family and friends love him, intelligent, attractive, supportive and sex life is great.

The order with which she laid it out is so fucking representative of how a woman loves a man.

She started with the job, also known as wealth.

She then moved on about how his family and friends love him, also known as social status.

Sex is last on the list even though he's great at it (he's probably not THAT great).

[–]bowie7472 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy knows what's up. Bravo

[–]Corruptdead2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking AWALT especially the part about her both considering his feelings. Girls will always put themselves before you so return the favour and never get attached or give her that comfort.

[–]EducationFool2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Id love to see the comments

[–]throwawaydefriended2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there a backup/archived link that includes the comments?

EDIT: I saw you said you have the link, can you PM it if the bot disallows posting it?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Probably gonna get downvoted, but I've had similar thoughts while dating an ex girlfriend. It was my first relationship and I loved her but I also was interested in knowing what it's like to have sex with other girls.

Of course I was never actually dumb enough to bring it up, but yeah, at least the girl asked about it instead of cheating behind the dude's back.

I mean, compared to the divorce stories and cheating stories this doesn't even seem that bad. Of course she should be dumped but I wouldn't really be mad at the girl.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's a fine line. If the thoughts of fucking other people have gone so far that you are seriously considering an open relationship, the relationship is over.

Of course, everyone who is in a relationship will at some point think "Damn, I want to fuck someone else." But there is a difference between that and taking that thought so far as to bring up an open relationship with their SO.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I agree she should get dumped but I doubt I would feel any anger, there are just so much worse stories I've read on here that I would just shrug my shoulders and move on to the next.

[–]Tamazin_8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

One thing you could do is say "Oh really? Great! I've been thinking about it too! A colleague/ex gf/female friend of mine has told me that she wants to sleep with me (again if ex) and i was hoping to do that but didn't know how to bring it up. So cool, i'll send her a text right away!" and wait for that reaction and follow up with "No stupid, i only wanted you but do you now realise how i felt by you bringing this up? We're done. Bye." or if she return with the same thing

"Oh me too, this Chad has texting me like crazy, sending D-pics and i've responded this and that so cool. I'll send him a text to hook up tonight!" to which you can reply "Oh go figure, i was just testing you and i guessed right. Don't send nudes or sext with another guy when you're in a relationship idiot. We're done, bye."

Or you can do as someone else here wrote "Sure, do you have a female friend that would like to join us?" or similar to just point it towards FFM+ threesomes or the likes and then just say kthxbye.

[–]archobler18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

All these things seem, to me, a little pathetic.

If a woman suggests an open relationship when you've established a committed monogamous one, the only responses are:

"Ok, sure."

or

"Hit the bricks."

Getting all worked up about it is going to make you look like a little baby and remind her why she wanted to fuck some other guy in the first place.

[–]Tamazin_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Case 1 if she gets sad about it will make her realise her wrongdoing (Which the girl OP posted about clearly doesn't).

Case 2, you'll know even more that she was about to cheat or similar

Case 3, you get a threesome or similar out of it.

[–]genesisofman10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

way too much energy to give to a thot

[–]Nogaz5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah fuck that shit, just exit. Can't save a hoe

[–]jayj592 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah, she wanted closure but in no way deserves it because she can't even understand why a guy who enjoys his monogamous relationship would be vehemently against an open one. He chose the best possible course of action, say goodbye and never look back.

[–]nurpleclamps1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would say yes to her proposal, fuck lots of girls and dump her when I find one I like.

[–]bigcitytruth1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm surprised you bothered talking about the girl at all. What is gold about that post is how perfect the dude handled the scenario, down to the T. Hats off and bravo to the dude.

[–]rossiFan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

One thing that's not mentioned in the replies, but something that this particular ex-boyfriend might have already known is that the 20% rule is a real thing. If she says that she's only fucked one guy, it means 5. If she's got the impudence to ask for an open relationship, she's already been fucking outside the relationship, and she's asking for his blessing for past and future partners to make her feel better.

[–]NYLON_G1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Top Man! He gave no quarter. She being a solipsistic self absorbed entitled to further entitlement girl cant see where she went wrong. She opens up the possibility of him having to reach for her when she is whoring elsewhere. The fact that she doesn't admit to whoring does not reflect the possibility that she may have already had an undisclosed sexual liaison before this discussion came up. She certainly wanted to have it both ways and thought that she could pull a fast one. I'll bet he's a MGTOW now. Probably was Red Pill all along. My hat comes off to him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Its nice to have friends to pick up your shit tho.

[–]XZTALVENARNZEGOMSAYT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And the friend said he was disgusted. Real friends, how many of us

[–]Nucka574 points points [recovered] | Copy

why was this removed? where is it?

[–]XZTALVENARNZEGOMSAYT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's what I'm trying to find out

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text....

[–]Th3R00ST3R1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

First thing I thought too.

Not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text....

proceeds to use yuge blocks of texts...

[–]sintrixxxx points points [recovered] | Copy

I would have brought over another plate and grabbed a few double blow jobs before bouncing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

How much plates do you have after 5 year of monogamous relationship? You're just dreaming..

[–]sintrixxxx points points [recovered] | Copy

I had 3 or 4 in town, 2 in Denver, 1 in Ohio, and 1 in Florida. After a 6 year monogamous relationship came to an end. Take the red pill already, monogamy.. that's the kind of fiction that mgtow laud at.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ok, but that was not a monogamous relationship lol.

[–]Kh444n0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"we never fight and always sit down and talk things through "

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i'm not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text

and then she typed a huge block of text

[–]Ozymanberg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Just cutting his losses"

What a fucking boss. I wish I would've done this in my last shit relationship, goddamn.

[–]0kool740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but it would go "both ways" as if that made it any better

Riiiiiiiiiight.......like he wouldn't get any bit of shaming whatsoever if he found other strange. FOH!!!!!

and doesn't understand why he would end a 5 year relationship over something "so small."

Yes because every guy out there loses his girl to strange schlong. How dare he not let her have her "cake and eat it too."

She doesn't think that to him, her wanting an open relationship meant that she's trying to cover for having already cheated.

There........fixed that for you mate :-)

If he said yes, it would be after someone else had already plowed his girlfriend. If he said no, it would cause tension and eventually she would fuck someone anyway.

Hey I'm gonna charge you an edit fee for this one brah lol

He completely cuts contact and even sends his friend to pick up his stuff so she can't pull any post-break up mind games on him.

Is this possibly someone who frequents this sub???

"I just wanted to talk about it. If he was into it, great. If not, then also great."

Right.......and Hillary Clinton would have been the best President ever LMAO

Bottom line: Your girl will want to cheat

Ok.....$39.95 for the editing fees mate!

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's stupidly simple, folks.

If a woman has access to a 7 and an 8, she wants to fuck the 8, and the 7 is invisible.

If a man has access to a 7 and an 8, he wants to fuck them both.

That's why a man will on his LTR with someone he desires less than her... but if a woman ever cheats on her man, it means the magic is forever gone.

[–]andhakanoon0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Serious question: in a hypothetical scenario, would it be good for the man to start a relationship with one of his ex's friends? She does say her friends love him, and must've confessed to them at least once how great the sex was. I'm sure he can get one of her friends if he wants, but is it advisable?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No because then you will probably have to deal with your ex in some form.

[–]andhakanoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Supposing that could be avoided?

[–]plenty_of_eesh2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me, it reads like some irate guy writer fantasizing about what he wishes he had done to some "bitch" who talked him into opening up... or maybe who just plain dumped him.

The boyfriend in the story is too perfect... It's a device used to make the girl's fuck-up epic and unforgivable.

[–]nickjaa-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy

A lot of people have successful open relationships though? Seems like it's fair to ask if it's something he's thought about.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

maybe. but he obviously doesn't want one. She did. maybe it's possible she doesnt cheat after she asks him but like everyone says, he can't trust her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's almost impossible to reframe your monogamous relationship to open.

[–]nickjaa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah definitely would be way harder than doing it from the get go.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A lot

No

have successful

lol no.

50+% of normal marriages fail, the rest are in some state of disorder.

[–]TheFern33-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It does seem like this guy handled this like a champ. I guess my question is how would one broach this subject. There are many people who live happily in open relationships. How does one bring up the question without getting this immediate response from their partner? Or is it just one of those things you cant bring up.



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