For newbies: If you feel the need to ask for sex, it's time to break up.

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April 13, 2017

A follow up to my previous post, some people learn better if it's spelled out for them.

If you have just discovered the red pill, the sheer amount of knowledge can be overwhelming. You may be taken aback by all the techniques espoused here and it can be very tempting to try them out on your woman.

Stop. Take a moment and think about what your relationship has been like up to this point.

Have you felt the need to ask for sex? Has she been nicer to other men than she has to you? Has she expected you to put more effort in than she has? Have you felt unappreciated for your efforts?

If the answer to any of the above is 'yes', it's time to break up. Unless you’re married, in which case buckle up for the shitstorm headed your way.

By taking the red pill, you’ve started on a journey to transform yourself into a desirable man. A man who doesn’t take bad deals. A man who doesn’t bow down to the female imperative. A man who prioritizes his own interests above all.

She is not going to like this. She is accustomed to milking you for the submissive little supplicant you have been, and she will resent and resist any initiative of yours that might affect this cozy arrangement.

I call this phenomenon ‘beta goggles’. No matter how much you improve yourself, she will remember you for the beta you were. Other women will take notice of you, but she will never forget how little she had to work for your resources. Sure, you can dread her into submitting to you, and if you’re married this may be the only practical option. Rest assured, however, that this will not make her forget your old self, nor will it convince her to let the old order go. But assuming you haven’t shackled yourself to her, you would be well advised to dump this woman.

You’re a new man now, and you can’t afford to waste your time with a woman who won’t recognize that. You’d do well to start afresh with the lessons you’ve learned, with women who have never known you as a beta.

Post Information
Title For newbies: If you feel the need to ask for sex, it's time to break up.
Author trpposter
Upvotes 736
Comments 130
Date 13 April 2017 04:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betadread gamethe red pillfeminine imperative

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS220 points221 points  (29 children) | Copy

Excellent post. I remember the girlfriend 30 years ago who went, "Mmm-mmm!" like stopping a naughty misbehaving child when I reached out to touch her in bed one night. Initiating the breakup sequence would have saved me another year of trying to fix that unfixable mess of a relationship.

Mind you, in a LTR there will be times when she legitimately doesn't want PIV sex at a given moment because reasons. In a healthy relationship, she'll offer alternatives and/or conspicuously make up for it soon.

It's kind of the same principle as when someone must cancel a date; healthy, bona-fide underlying reasons for cancelling will come with a definite reschedule rather than an open-ended denial.

[–]aanarchist142 points143 points  (10 children) | Copy

in a healthy relationship with a woman who has her head on straight, she will enjoy the act of pleasuring you and getting you off. if she ever treats sex as something that is transnational or something to be earned you bail out immediately, she is a whore and will suck your soul right out of your chest if you let her.

[–]stoptheleftists35 points36 points  (3 children) | Copy

Agreed. Didn't realize this until my mid 20s. Don't waste your time with whores boys.

[–]MuleJuiceMcQuaid33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can't turn a ho into a housewife.

[–]DarkCotton65 points66 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, there are way too many letters to add.

[–]Burlaczech3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I tried for 2 years and I did a lot of progress. it took less than a month for her to forget and return back into "lets not think about stuff and have fun while others bother and deal with problems". not again

[–]Cunt_Robber18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with what youre saying but you mean transactional not transnational. Ftfy

[–]krotch_vilense2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

What do you mean by transnational?

[–]H2offroad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm assuming he meant transactional. Don't let her use it as a bargaining chip or as means to an end

[–]1trpposter[S] 24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

I remember the girlfriend 30 years ago who went, "Mmm-mmm!" like stopping a naughty misbehaving child

Jesus... how old was she? I'm getting a late 20s, jaded vibe.

30 years, that's a long time ago. How is dating now as an older guy? Always good to hear from guys with decades of experience.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy

How is dating now as an older guy? Always good to hear from guys with decades of experience.

Reflections on a life of plate spinning was my first and remains my most popular post on TRP.

Life at 50 is great, it's true that the SMV of men keeps rising through the 30s, and the peak can linger far beyond if you take good care of your body.

how old was she? I'm getting a late 20s, jaded vibe

We were mid-20s, so on second thought this happened "only" 25 years ago. Most of my regrets in love over the decades resulted from being too soft, not too firm or hard about applying my standards to the women I dated.

[–]1ozaku73 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Most of my regrets in love over the decades resulted from being too soft, not too firm or hard about applying my standards to the women I dated.

Me and my brother both agree on this. My brother even got lectured some TRP knowledge by the dad of the girl he just broke up a day before with. It was hilarious and shocking.

[–]AmatureProgrammer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Can you share us the story about the dad lecturing your friend? Im curious.

[–]1ozaku73 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I wasn't there. But it went along the lines that he was too nice, too easy with her. He should have been alot more stern and call her out on her shit. We both fucked up the same, by being soft. We were raised by an abusive dad and both swore never to be like that. We overdid it and got too soft, now we learned that you can still demand respect and have a strong frame and not be an asshole.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon58 points59 points  (6 children) | Copy

I remember the girlfriend 30 years ago who went, "Mmm-mmm!" like stopping a naughty misbehaving child when I reached out to touch her in bed one night.

I got a speech from my 'girlfriend' about "when we go to the cinema I go to watch the film, we are not going to the back and there will not be any making out".

Back then I believed that if she accepted the title of "girlfriend" it would mean she would behave like a girlfriend. Lesson learned.

Silly cow should have jerked me off in the back row - I'd have fallen in love and married her instead of staying single, finding TRP, spinning plates and having an independent and free life.

So yeah, I really should thank her some day. I bet I'd get the "I've missed you so much [while banging Chad] and I always [recently] wished I could get [your money] together with you someday".

[–]honorocagan24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

So few girls think about what they want and try to help their chances of getting it.

If they considered what a man wants, and how simple it is to give, there'd be far fewer of us here.

Like you say - if she'd realized she wants a man, and fought to keep you by making you happy (jerking you off in the back row, for example), there's a good chance she'd still have a guy that would make her happy.

Instead, princess complex and branch hopping.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon25 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy

If they considered what a man wants, and how simple it is to give, there'd be far fewer of us here.

I dunno. I think they know how bad their behaviour is. It's like they try to give the minimum possible and manipulate to get the maximum possible. I don't think it's accidental. There's just no motivation to please.

  • if she'd realized she wants a man, and fought to keep you by making you happy (jerking you off in the back row, for example), there's a good chance she'd still have a guy that would make her happy.

But I didn't make her happy. I gave her what she asked for (beta behaviours) rather than what she wanted (alpha behaviours).

[–]honorocagan8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Talking more about girls in general - the lack of awareness and working on themselves brings them further from the things they want.

Lack of desire to improve to snag that alpha (due to laziness, entitlement, etc) means that they will never find that alpha. If he does come along, she'll be ill-equipped to keep him.

I'm not saying that sucking dick in the theater gets them alphas. More that they don't consider what alphas want and don't, and so never get closer to bagging one.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

They're REAL good at complaining though ;)

[–]godfatherchimp34 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy

Mind you, in a LTR there will be times when she legitimately doesn't want PIV sex at a given moment because reasons.

Yeah like her pussy being too sore because she's already fucked you five times that day

[–]gabilromariz5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Other things can happen, but like he said, she should make up for it soon and with interest.

At the top of my head I can think of genuinely sick/weak (not headache, more stomach flu or post surgery), death or similar tragedy in the family or close friends, and I'm pretty sure there are others. Point being, it should be incredibly rare, but it's not as impossible as you make it seem

[–]godfatherchimp12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

I agree, it's real life. I don't want to fuck every time she does either.

[–]good_guy_submitter-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is where I disagree. I am ready to go 10+ times a day, everyday. I have not met a woman who has that kinda drive.

I have only turned down sex three times, one time because the girl fucked up and was trying to use sex to apologize. I don't hand out pussy passes like that. Another time was because I was breaking up with the girl and she was trying to use sex to get me to stay.

The final time was because I was the girls boss and I don't shit where I earn my living, which in hindsight I probably would have done it because I left that job shortly after but she was also 16 and although that was the age of consent it was still a disaster if she spoke up about it.

[–]1ozaku71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, although it might very well be that your partner used to have a high sex drive and suddenly got a very low one because of meds, depression or other reasons. I've also had period where I would just go a month without sex, but then weeks that I wanted to have it every day.

Man, I wouldn't be able to deal with a girl saying "mmm-mmm" like that now, but I would probably like you still would have tried to fix it. Lessons are learned. If the attraction is gone, cut your losses and move on.

Maybe a personal question, but when you did have sex, did she had a motive behind it besides lust? Like apologizing, cheering you up, getting you to do something or like that?

[–]DisgruntledWolverine points points [recovered] | Copy

So much this^^^^^^

Wish I would have known this before spending 2.5 sex starved years with my last ex.

[–]Khr0nus35 points36 points  (7 children) | Copy

I didn't know about trp in my last relationship, but when sex stopped took me a month to bail. Even my beta ass knew no sex no relationship.

[–]slay_it_forward26 points27 points  (6 children) | Copy

What's strange is how a woman will continue on seemingly indefinitely in a sexless LTR, as long as she's getting the other needs met. Shows how imbalanced the genders are when it comes to the need for sexy time.

[–]fabiofb41 points42 points  (5 children) | Copy

A sexless LTR doesn't mean she's not getting any sex.

[–]PaulMurrayCbr points points [recovered] | Copy


80% of women and 20% of men are in S Club. The rest of the world doesn't even know it's going on right under their noses.

[–]Taydecz6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

What is an S club? Can you explain it please.

[–]BreathOfDick11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just getting laid on the regular. No idea why he stated it like that

[–]Taydecz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, I even googled it :D

[–]BinaryResult points points [recovered] | Copy

Not to one-up you but I stayed in a 10 year near sexless marriage (for the kids mostly), sex was weened off a bit at a time until it was gone which allowed me to keep rationalizing that that's just how it is for married couples, she's stressed at work, women dont hit their sexual peak until their 30's, she's still dealing with her father's passing, she's busy with the kids, etc. take your pick they are all bullshit I just couldn't see it at the time, it's a good thing she ended up cheating and ended it otherwise I would still be in that toxic situation for the children. Luckily I finally understand redpill theory now which has my current gf fucking me 6 ways from Sunday.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88108 points109 points  (15 children) | Copy

Sex with strings attached is worse than no sex at all

If she is setting conditions on having sex that means she doesn't really want to have sex with you, and therefore will only do so if she is gaining something in return. A woman who really wants to have sex with you, will just do it.

Sex with a woman who doesn't really want to have sex with you sucks. Which is why its better not to have sex at all. You are better off dumping her and finding a woman who does want to have sex with you. Night and day difference in the quality of sex.

The problem is so many blue pilled men are stuck in relationships where they are treated like a 5 year old when it comes to sex. When I was 5 my mom had a chart full of chores and tasks and good behavior and stuff. Each time I completed a chore, did something good, etc. she put a sticker in the column of said chore/task. If I got enough stickers I got a toy or something.

Men these days are treated the same way. Get enough stickers you get to have "sex". I put sex in quotations because the sex will likely be starfish sex, where she just stares at the ceiling with an obligated annoyed look on her face as she counts down the seconds until you finish. Then you get to start the whole sticker gathering cycle all over again, doing all this work for bland vanilla starfish sex. Whoop de do.

I can't think of a worse existance. And yet, there are men trapped in that cycle, and even worse think they have it made because she spreads her legs for him every month or so. Just because you have sex with a woman doesn't mean she is attracted to you, loves you or wants you.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon37 points38 points  (5 children) | Copy

A woman who really wants to have sex with you, will just do it

Yes, but with a few caveats:

  • Often will not be pro-active about it because female

  • May shit test you

  • You'll have to handle logistics

Men these days are treated the same way. Get enough stickers you get to have "sex".

It's worse even than this. The stickers are social approval, and the amount of it that needs to be accumulated to have sex goes up every few months, culminating in marriage - at which point she knows she doesn't need to pretend to approve or pretend to be attracted any more. Marriage is the start of her retirement and the divorce is her final payout from you. Apart from alimony.

[–]good_guy_submitter5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Never get married, unless the girl has substantially more money than you.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not even then.

The courts are anti-male, not anti-money. The laws changed in the past, they'll change in the future. 97% of alimony payments are made by men.

If she makes a load of money, she'll be well advised on how to keep it. She'll be able to get lawyers to protect it. As a man you'll never get to cash out, and could still end up paying alimony and child support.

Attractive women don't marry poorer men.

[–]Future_Alpha1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I dunno about that. Mike Cernovich divorce raped his ex-wife quite well for something like $1 million.

But I wouldn't want to marry a woman richer than me even if I had the choice. I have pride and want to make the money myself and not have it thrown at me because reasons.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mike Cernovich divorce raped his ex-wife quite well for something like $1 million.


I have pride and want to make the money myself

Most men are like you and feel responsibility. Women intend to profit.

[–]KurrKurr6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Isn't a woman who wants something in exchange for sex called a whore?
Gotta ask yourself if want a whore or a partner...

[–]good_guy_submitter7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every bluepill beta wants a partner but will settle for a whore because they are desperate.

[–]ShavedApel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

aren't all women whores, they all want something might not be money.

[–]1ozaku71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being in a sexless relationship is just a friendship that cockblocks yourself.

[–]Synzael points points [recovered] | Copy

If you are good enough at sex she won't be able to be a starfish sorry man xD. Like even my girl, who claimed I'd never be able to make her make noises eventually made noise unwillingly. However, I'm well endowed and have a lot of advanced techniques so for most men you are correct

[–]Aesteic2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That "xD" makes me question the authenticity of this.

[–]Cunt_Robber1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man I'd like to hear about some of these advanced techniques

[–]Synzael4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well ones called the Adam Rameau technique basically you just put your dick 80-90% of the way in then slam it the last bit in. Repeat this slower yet stronger tempo till you can do it and still pick up the pace. The second technique is hard to do if you don't have a long dick but basically when you are spooning with a girl you use a vibrator on her clit while you fuck her. Only managed to combine the techniques one time this far and it was extremely effective. However usually one or the other is plenty.

[–]vwzwv15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

'beta goggles'

I like that. You can't take off people's beta goggles, you just have to move on and hang out with hand selected people you want to know whom aren't wearing them.

[–]Philletto6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those goggles apply to a wide range of issues in life. Your parents, childhood adversaries, selfish women all do not want to acknowledge your advancement.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not sure I buy it. It's a pretty well held TRP belief that women have no memory, nothing but the present and maybe a bit of future benefits perspective. I think the beta goggles experience stems from men's SMV taking so long to develop. If you're way down the beta hole, it will take more than 12 months to climb out.

[–]1Jax7778911 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy

Generally speaking you should ghost people who knew the former you. They will never respect you and you will never get the same alpha vibe you get with the people who got to know the unplugged you. Dangerous to stay around the past.

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE points points [recovered] | Copy

This is true. They already have a set mental picture of you in their head, which is why first impressions are so important and hard to change later. It goes with looks too. If you had a terrible case of acne or were overweight in middle school, everyone that knew you at that point will picture you like that throughout high school. Everyone else that didn't might think you're a stud.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This might sound weird but I don't want to unfriend a good number of people I know on facebook, although I know I have no chance with them. They only know this older inexperienced version of me.

[–]Imakesensealot2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn. This is probably the realest piece I've ever come across on here.

[–]hazapez1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

legit q, but what if they see how you are around other women or how desirable the new you is now. will they still not respect you?

[–]1Jax777894 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not my experience.

First impression is what remains. If you try to get them to respect you you will burn inordinate amounts of energy to save unstable crap. Better investment to get to new people.

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree with the first impression thing. I've met people about whom I had a good impression the first few weeks of knowing them (and seeing daily), and turned out to be total cunts. The opposite is true, where a girl was a total shithead on the first day but turned out to be pretty cool. My dick isn't throbbing for her, but we're having a laugh and she's not so bad at all. It's the long-term impression that especially stick with you, because throwing a bullseye once is just chance, but later on it averages out and you know that that person can't get any higher than the average player.

[–]good_guy_submitter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seconded. It's not worth the time investment, and I'm willing to bet if you were a beta chump then these old contacts probably aren't quality anyway, after all they were all your old loser self was able to muster.

I know for me, out of 50 or so guys I used to know I only kept in contact with 2. These 2 men who also got redpilled. The rest are all new connections.

[–]MrExpress27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

I disagree with you a little bit on the "beta-goggles" thing. It's very difficult to climb out of that hole but I think it's possible. That being said leaving and starting anew is still the best option.

I remember being in a relationship where I was such a huge time ho. I spent hours everyday on the phone, commuting to her dorm, and just hanging out with her. Every time we had sex it felt like she was throwing me a bone. She claimed to be something like an asexual, she wouldn't even touch my dick let alone suck it. The fact is she just didn't get the tingles from me but I found out later she had them for one of my friends. He showed me some of the messages she was sending him about what she wanted him to do to her.

God, I still remember how she would cry and complain whenever I had to head home, making me stay for longer than I wanted to in the hopes of getting laid. I even remember her saying that sometimes she needs to be put in her place.

It's cringeworthy to look back and think about how I acted and how easily I gave up my time, but it's good to reflect and keep yourself from repeating old mistakes.

Fast forward to now and my LTR is practically gushing from me face fucking her. I've told women to "quit acting like a bitch" when they annoy me and it working. I just don't take their shit and they fucking love it. The best part of it all is that I'm honest. I'm honest with them, I tell them how I feel and I just be myself. Those kiddie shows were right.

[–]askmrcia4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

We've all been there mate. Believe me. I had similar experiences.

The worse part about all of this is how everyone of us here can admit and own up to our mistakes. We all reflect on our past.

Women on the other take no accountability of how they act in their past. That girl that did you like that, bet if we asked her to explain her side, she will make it seem like she did nothing wrong.

[–]MrExpress2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't blame her, I blame myself. I gave up my time and commitment too easily, a time ho. She behaved like a child, yes, but I behaved like one as well and never stood my ground. She didn't want to fuck me outside of the few times she was horny because I didn't make her horny. I made the classic mistake of investing more and more time in her in the hopes of reciprocation in the form of sex. I never held frame, I let her dictate the relationship, my behavior, I even changed my interests to appeal to her more. When I wasn't getting laid enough I whined about it instead of distancing myself.

These are all classic beta moves and she reacted with the right way to treat a beta. I don't doubt now that she cheated on me but I made it so easy to justify it I'm not even mad. She saw an opportunity with someone better and she took it, if I had that chance while we were dating I probably would have done the same. If I fuck a girl and never call her again why would I would get mad when another takes my time, commitment and money and never fucks me? She got me, I deserved it.

I'm not a fucking master by any means but I apply RP tenants now. I hold my frame, I'm not afraid to call my LTR (or anyone) out when she's being a bitch. I dominate in the bedroom, I fuck her face and make her call me daddy. I lead outside of it, I make plans and take her along with me. I'm happy because I'm getting what I want, she's happy because she's getting what she needs.

[–]79rustyk105 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Quit acting like a bitch" is such a powerful phrase. Shit works.

[–]Poofysmoof0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, what they say and what they want are two different things. I work in a job where I work with different people daily, even those women respond better to not taking their shit. It's not about being a asshole either you just don't let them walk over you. Thanks, TRP

[–]badaod0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Beta goggles true or not... I don't know the answer but I would rather assume they exist. Just to assume the worst. Just to make sure to no go back into an old relationship thinking "I changed and she sees me in a new light now".

Women are manipulative. Even if she knows you changes she will try all triggers on you that worked previously to get you into provider mode.

[–]Littaballofun5 points6 points  (23 children) | Copy

Legitimate question here, what if the female is the one constantly feeling like she needs to beg for sex?

[–]_the_shape_9 points10 points  (11 children) | Copy

That's infinitely better than being on the other side of that problem, usually remedied by fucking her brains out - I'm talking one earth-shattering orgasm after another, leaving her barely able to speak, let alone breathe.

If she keeps asking beyond that, you probably need to start considering altogether if she's too high-maintenance for your taste and becoming obnoxious/a time-sink etc.

[–]Littaballofun6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

I am the female. I suppose I should have worded my query better. I was in a relationship for several years where I stayed home, cooked, cleaned, cared for his three children, and cared for him. During the beginning, the sex was earth shattering and he was insatiable. He treated me like the queen of his castle and the concubine, and I adored it. After a while, his attention strayed, at first from me in general, and then to other women though I didn't find that out until later. I continued doing all of the things I had prior, while actively seeking his attention. I made his favorite meals, gave him massages, showered him with compliments, and generally tried to be a good submissive homemaker but nothing worked, and if anything, made the whole situation worse. I suppose what I really want to know is how do I prevent this from happening again? When I asked him what had happened as we broke up, he said that I made the chase too easy and that it bored him. I enjoy being the stay at home. I take pride in my domain. I am nervous that this will happen again, so I figured asking alpha males would be the best place to figure out where or if I went wrong.

[–]1ozaku72 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I suppose what I really want to know is how do I prevent this from happening again?

Hmm.. let me take your words.

When I asked him what had happened as we broke up, he said that I made the chase too easy and that it bored him.

There, make the men chase you sometimes too. Honestly, if my girl would have been dripping wet for me day in day out, it would get old soon and feel like I win something without putting any effort into it. Just remember that we won't invest into something that is guaranteed a loss.

[–]Littaballofun0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So... From what I'm understanding... Always be available for your partner, but pretend you aren't?

[–]1ozaku74 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't fix such a problem so easily really. Think about what you are doing now as a person, how he sees you, and try to imagine what you would think of yourself if you were a man maybe?

My ex would all the time be the passive one in bed and not initiate, but went in on my advances. She sure as hell did make me cum alot faster when she initiated and just grinded on my dick like her life depended on it. She grabbed my butt like a tiger grabbing a gazelle, looking me dead in the eyes which screamed to fuck her harder. Some sexy lingerie, high heels, nylons, CONFIDENCE, determination to fuck me, threaten that you will fuck me hard and I could guarentee you I would fuck you so hard you won't remember yesterday.

Reward him with the sex of his life for initiating sex with you, and he will definitely want more of that. I know I would.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Describe both your ages and races. That plays a factor sometimes.

[–]Littaballofun0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

We're both white. I'm currently 23 and he is 31.

Edit: I was 19 and he was 26 when the relationship began, and it was 6 or 7 months before I hit 21 that the relationship essentially went to the birds.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Was marriage ever discussed? Were you from the same socioeconomic class? Taking your story for the truth, I'd say the problem lies with him. Perhaps he was one of those feminist wimps who need a 'strong' woman.

[–]Littaballofun0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yes. His grandmother was going to give me her dress, and he had a basic ring design picked out. We were from about the same background.

Over the last week(I live with him because of his children, but only for a little bit longer), I've come to learn that his version of a perfect woman is one who does everything I did for him, but is also okay with him sleeping with every female he comes across while remaining faithful herself, and she has to be okay with him going out until 2 every night and coming home wasted. We got into a fight a few days ago, and apparently my having expecting faithfulness was being far too controlling...

I wouldn't call him blue pill or red pill. Perhaps caveman?

[–]1trpposter[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did he expect you to remain faithful? Or did he expect you to stray as well?

You have said in other threads:

I recently gained around 40 lbs

Was this before or after your breakup?

[–]Littaballofun0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. During the beginning, we made an agreement that we were exclusive and if we felt like we were going to cheat, we'd call the other person and break up. After he cheated (without telling me ) he was constantly going through my online accounts and phone to prove I had too so he would be justified in not telling me. He found nothing. He told me he expected both of us to be faithful, but I think he doubted my ability.

I gained the weight after. And honestly, though he has made nasty comments, I like my body better now. I actually have curves.

[–]Alcastraz02 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would very much an answer to this, because men in this group are all about behaviourial science in this group for men and women, but going down the end of the line, what exactly is the ideal LTR partner who does so much for you and respects you? Do they need to have their own hobbies you respect and constantly have you guessing if they have been out with other guys? It does seem unfair, that @Littaballofun was being so giving in every way, as we desire, but seemingly going too far? Do we really not want an entirely submissive woman? Must she need to be knocked into submission constantly?

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

She will have zero trouble finding a more willing cock. If you are the female, you have our permission to swing to a new branch. If you are a male, it's time to either get your testosterone checked or next her, since she will find what she wants eventually.

[–]Littaballofun1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I am the female. I left the male in question a year ago, and as I was incredibly tired when I posed the question, missed key elements. Our sex life was incredibly healthy in the beginning and the relationship was strong. After a year and a half, things dipped a little, but shortly after the two year mark, he treated me more like a built in babysitter than his significant other. I want to know how to prevent this in my next relationship.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Unless you went full hambeast, it is very doubtful this is your problem. Men are indeed pigs and when a guy drops sex, something is wrong with him. Even if you became a raging super bitch that he just wanted to run screaming from but couldn't, it would still be his fault and most men would still fuck you anyway.

Er... you didn't cheat on him, right? At any point? I forgot about the "That Whore" clause.

[–]Littaballofun2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I try not to be an insane person. If I have a problem, I bring it up in a calm manner. If things are my fault, I do my best to admit fault.

I did not. I treated him like the sun shone out of his ass. The closest to cheating I got with him was getting hit on at a bar by a guy that was faking an accent, and I told the ex that I thought it was funny.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are female; nothing is your fault. I know it sounds like one of our jokes, but it is largely true. I mean, if you drown your kids in a car, we're coming after your ass, but when it comes to relationships either men captain the ship or they let it founder. He let it founder and you did the right thing. It was his fault.

I treated him like the sun shone out of his ass.

Why did the first versions of the matrix fail? Yeah, the movies can be retarded at times, but this particular point is useful.

[–]Littaballofun1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The first part helps me rest easy.

The second confuses me. I've never actually seen the matrix... :-|

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, in total that's about 5 hours of your live better spent.

Basically, the matrix failed because it was too perfect; everyone lives in totally happiness, which made it difficult to believe it was real. Women inherently have this bullshit shield, which is why trying to make a woman happy 100% of the time is doomed to fail. Women need to feel all emotions or they become despondent. It is better for a man to be a rock for a woman as she experiences life as any woman does, which is ultimately more healthy and positive for all involved.

[–]good_guy_submitter0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She's probably got mental issues / damaged goods. Don't stick your dick in crazy. But if you do, enjoy it while you can because at some point she implodes.

[–]Littaballofun0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I am the female in question. If you want to know the specifics of what was going on, I responded to another person. I wouldn't say that I'm crazy, my issue was that during the first year, I would have had trouble getting him off of me had I wanted to, but during third year, I felt invisible, and he would go months in between wanting to touch me.

[–]good_guy_submitter0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Oh, well that context changed my response. I assumed it was like that from the beginning. If you are a woman, my first question is did you gain weight prior to his change in behavior? If no, my second question is did his health decline? If no and the problem is not physical, my advice is to ask a redpilled woman or a gay guy for advice as they know more about arousing desire in men than most of us do.

[–]Littaballofun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My weight didn't change any until after the relationship was over. I am 5'6" and was 125-130 which for my bone structure is the sweet spot. His health was fine too.

I suppose that makes sense.

[–]19RomeoQuebec7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I believe that sex isn't everything in the TRP model, but men shouldn't forget that your actions and how you present the sex act. Can and will work wonders.

This post is like a Pre-Qual, you have already read and applied TRP material in your current life. IT becomes easy to have 20/20 hindsight on your past life.

The question that has been in my mind is how do you present this material to other men out there. How do you share this knowledge with people who have no clue that this sub exists. I know the short answer is you fucking don't.

But sitting in a room full of bros who agree with you, well its just that. A room full of bros that agree.

[–]slay_it_forward1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They have to be ready and open to receiving the information but most aren't. So they'll go on suffering not knowing why their gfs won't fuck them until some day they get so frustrated that they become open to a paradigm shift.

[–]1ozaku72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true, but be a decent human being when you break up if she hasn't done anything terribly wrong like treating you like total crap or cheating on you. Keep your cool but stand your ground.

I went through a breakup with my girlfriend recently for the very reason of lack of sex and no initiation from her side. We talked 3 hours about everything in our relationship, and ironically this was the talk when we were really understanding of each other, we really talked like we always should have. Anyway, we concluded that we function great as friends, but not as lovers. I thought about what we have done in the past 6 months and we were actually just friends who were really close and fucked on occasion.

In some way the breakup feels good, it's just sad that it ended, that's all.

[–]PissedPajamas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with this post, but I've had ex's pinning for me after I've TRP'd myself. I'm not by any means rich or talk/dark/handsome, but from experience the shift in attitude makes them come running back, my beta past aside.

I'm still not sure if girls focus on the now (what's in front of them) or the hold they had on you in the past. I think it varies from girl to girl

[–]JaneeCathartica1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Wtf are you saying men should stop initiating??? Because I always say yes to my bf and love being chased/conquered by him. I'm too submissive to always initiate. Most chicks are.

[–]AlphaWeaboo6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

My lady you got it all wrong, initiating and asking are diferent, one implies actions the other words, one is alpha the other is beta.

[–]BrackOBoyO1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Double post booooooooo haha

[–]juliusstreicher4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alphas ALWAYS double post, dammit!

[–]AlphaWeaboo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol thanks, my net sucked ass last night

[–]good_guy_submitter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please follow the rules of the subreddit.

[–]CanuckinFL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

well I guess you better be open to learning how to initiate, huh, Janee. That's what equality buys ya

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ofcourse women love to be chased and conquered, but if it gets too difficult, then the price of having sex with you is too high and only a sane man would leave for another woman who also desires him back.

[–]godfatherchimp-3 points-2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Have you felt unappreciated for your efforts?

That's no reason to break up with her, that's just AWALT bro. Women are inherently incapable of fully appreciating the sacrifices men make for them

[–]good_guy_submitter2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Very good rebuttal. Sex isn't about appreciation. It's about attraction. Her tingles aren't powered by what you do as much as who she perceives you are.

[–]1ozaku7-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Much like you get scared from that big guy staring at you and not that limp beta approaching you with an axe.

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

True, that's why you don't make sacrifices. It's just suicide.

[–]godfatherchimp0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

More accurately: make sacrifices if you feel that you personally have more to gain than to lose by doing it

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

We're talking about making sacrifices for women. Simply don't, it's just suicide because the effort is not appreciated, ever. Maybe today, but once she has had a good night sleep her sacrifice counter went on reset because she expects these sacrifices on a daily basis.

[–]godfatherchimp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's not just that. If you make sacrifices for her on a daily basis, not only will she be ungrateful, but she will actually begin to loathe you. Sacrificing for a woman indicates that you are beneath her, and women are repulsed by men they feel are beneath them. Rightfully so, for evolutionary reasons.

[–]1ozaku7-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't overanalyze it. Simply don't make sacrifices. Sacrifices are never a good thing for you, only for those who are not part of the sacrifice. Don't use evolutionary explanations, it's bullshit. Evolution is throwing 1000 rocks down a hill and the roundest will make it to bottom. It's an offer and demand, and women want to have the greatest value they can find. They also want a man to look up to, be feel safe, and they won't find it with a man that looks up to them. It's a social and psychological thing, not an evolutionary one.

[–]mupersancanada-2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy

honestly, what do you guys think about blow jobs? I want head. I want it regularly. I buy her flowers, watch stupid movies with her but she won't give me head regularly. It's like some special occasions bs. what gives.

[–]omega_dawg935 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

she's not into you on that level, plain & simple. the bj's are 'payment' for when you "act right," and do what she says or submit to her requests.

there's a guy somewhere out there that she will suck off 3x per day... bc SHE wants to; he doesn't have to do a damn thing. all he has to do is initiate or ask outright, and she'll do it with a smile.

sex & attraction are not negotiated things... they're raw, NATURAL, and simply happen. i would degrade her to a plate and move on.

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe she doesn't like giving head. Much like I don't like eating a girl out because she bleeds and pees from that area and god knows whether she has an STI or not, which I would rather have on my dick instead of my face if I had to choose.

[–]puberta-2 points-1 points  (18 children) | Copy

Just recently stumbled upon the red pill, so pardon if I got the whole post wrong. But does this mean I have to have sex at any occasion my man wants to? What if I'm hurting or really tired or something once, do I just have to suffer through it? Also, if I initiate sex and he doesn't want to, do I need to break up with him?

[–]1trpposter[S] 9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

Just recently stumbled upon the red pill, so pardon if I got the whole post wrong. But does this mean I have to have sex at any occasion my man wants to? What if I'm hurting or really tired or something once, do I just have to suffer through it? Also, if I initiate sex and he doesn't want to, do I need to break up with him?

You don't have to do anything other than what you want. It is your man's responsibility to shape the relationship to his liking. If he's of high enough value, you'd be intrinsically inspired to follow his lead.

The red pill, outside of Red Pill Women, isn't geared to advise women. Quite the opposite, it is us who have to adapt ourselves to what you're attracted to. I'd suggest looking at RPW if you are interested in the red pill.

[–]Yawgie points points [recovered] | Copy

Gonna ignore the real question, eh? Fucking coward ass bitch.

[–]1trpposter[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Gonna ignore the real question, eh?

Learn to read.

Fucking coward ass bitch.

Your ban will be well deserved.

[–]Yawgie points points [recovered] | Copy

I did read it, you've just spat some shit that doesn't really answer the question. Just some crap that you think it right. Fucking losers is what this place is full of. Can't cope with yourself so you rag on women and think your better than them. Toss yourself down an oubliette. Nobody will ever love you.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I did read it, you've just spat some shit that doesn't really answer the question.

Here, looks like you need some practice:

Just some crap that you think is right.

Welcome to Answering Questions 101.

Fucking losers is what this place is full of.

You sure sound like a winner! Sure showed us, yes sir ee.

Can't cope with yourself so you rag on women and think your better than them.

You really should work on your reading comprehension.

You're too retarded to learn, aren't you?

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I believe his response was flawless and didn't disrespect the woman asking for his advice. Why don't you just delete your account and stay off the internets for a while?

[–]fischbrot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

i think you make relevant points in your post! i also think if she wants sex and I cant get it up, then what?

if I am too tired, then what?

my dog died, and I dont want sex, then what?

but the sticker model for sex is also lame ass shit ...

cheers u/puberta, hope to read you more often in this sub

[–]Raja4791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the distinction is on this reward scheme, in which one would want sex and the other wound want x, where x is a different pleasing task for the other.

If you're hurting, you're hurting. It's all good there. If you make a guy sweep the gutters and, as a reward, give sex in return, problems. Vice versa is similar, but less likely because men have a higher psychological affinity for sex.

Break up with him if you want. Up to you. Not a matter of the action though, but the reason for the action. Think Kant, not Mill.

[–]good_guy_submitter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please follow the rules of the subreddit.

[–]RmX93-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm allways curious what are the womans think about all this TRP thread, are they change their minds about betas and start to hate selfish alphas that cares only of their needs or they agreed with this posts.

[–]good_guy_submitter1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This forum isn't designed to be read by women or participated in by women. Every single time it has been proven that women cannot handle the discussion here without taking what we say personal. Maybe one exception there is a female senior endorsed contributor by haven't seen her in a while.

[–]untitled_redditor-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask for sex? ...Had no idea that was a thing. Always ended things if either of us didn't always want it. ... A lot of RedPill shit seems like common sense a lot of guys always understood.

Worth saying, if she doesn't WANT it that's just as good of a reason to leave. In many cases, if she doesn't want you, that's because you're dead to her and she wants someone else. ...Maybe in other cases, like if she's not really that into YOUR sex. Who cares. Fuck people who want to be fucked by you. Way more fun IMHO

[–]MajorArcher-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have never in my entire life, hinted at it or even asked for it. It just happens.

[–]Dragon_Garoo4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

My rule is: You want me to fuck you? Suck this. Don't like it? Too bad. Works wonders and it trains them to get wet by giving head.

[–]MajorArcher1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

why are we getting downvoted? I am a confident strong man and I dont need pussy to run my life and that attitude gets me laid.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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