Summary: Not every girl that wants to meet also wants you. And not every girl that can't find a free evening is playing games. Some of them have a life (shock, horror). But that's still the cue for nexting them.

 

Is She Playing Games?

 

Some girls are bored, they just crave attention or they just basic bitches who like to toy with boys. They play games, they give you enough to keep you hopeful but you are never going to meet them.

Try to get her out two times. Then stop texting her, embrace the radio silence and if she writes you first then make her pick a date all by herself. If she won't do that or if she'll give you a bullshit excuse like "she's so busy this month" then for the sake of your own sanity - stop talking to her. It's not your fault she's a stupid bitch.

 

Is She Really Busy?

 

Many of the leads from my previous trip to Kiev are strong when it comes to connection but are weak as to the actual texting. It's especially true for some girls that I already dated. We have this great vibe when we're together but the replies are late and not always detailed.

One of the reasons for that is that when you work in Ukraine - you work like crazy. Some of the girls spend 10-12 hours every day in their jobs. It's understandable that they're not exactly dying inside to meet a foreign shmuck after their workday.

If you've managed to go on a date with such a girl then that lead is much stronger than just a number. You should learn something about her schedule and whether she's really that busy and how her life looks like. It's up to you to decide if you want to be a part of such relationship. Still - don't make her high priority.

The same goes for leads from different cities. You want to go there for a second (or even third) time. If she can’t make it despite knowing in advance that you'll be there - there is simply no reason to believe this is going to change in the future. It's not your fault she's that busy.

 

Does She Want You?

 

The old and somewhat true rule is that "if she wants you, she'll find a way to see you". It's a no-brainer but when you think about it more then you'll realize that it's not just the case of you being good enough. You have to be better than everything that is going on in her life - work, family and even errands that she has to run.

I'm not justifying playing games or even being deliberately enigmatic when it comes to agreeing on the time of your date. This is not good and if it happens repeatedly the girl should be nexted. No matter the reason behind this.

But don't feel like you've failed and definitely don't get angry. It happens. Some girls are in that point in their lives where men aren't a top priority for them. Especially foreigners who are in their city for a week.

And there are always girls out there who will want with what you have to offer. You just have to find them.

 

Lessons (re)learned:

  • You can hit her threshold of attractiveness and still be less important than her other activities.
  • She's not going to postpone a planned vacation, a family dinner or in most cases even a visit to her hairdresser.
  • You have more room when you're living in the same city. But if you're both from the same city and you haven't met her after a month then I wouldn't exactly hold my breath for her.
  • There are good excuses and bad excuses. But if all you’re getting are excuses then that lead is as good as a flake.
  • Don't beat yourself about it. If you've done everything you could and nothing wrong - move on.
  • However, if you did some mistakes then definitely learn your lessons!

 

If you're interested in details of my daygame adventures then visit my blog for more posts.