I remember getting horribly blackpilled on a night out a few months ago. I was still in college, during the winter, and had a huge beard, leather jacket on. For extra reference, I am Middle Eastern and 5’8” (not really tall). What I’m getting at is my looks were really the opposite of what a girl would deem attractive, just being honest in accordance with the black pill (not tall middle Eastern male w a large, untamed beard, like a 3-4). I got rejected by the one girl I approached at a night club at “hello” pretty much and that was the lightest rejection (an immediate “it was nice to meet you”). Next, I went to a bar where I really understood the significance of the blackpill. I danced w a girl and her friend who gave me dirty looks while I was dancing w them, her friend looked at her w a look of disgust and shook her head no. They both kept getting away from me when I got too close. It’s important to note that these girls were soft 4’s. It’s also important to note that the girl in question was into it but looked at her friend for approval, her friend saying no which made her say no. Next, the harshest one, where I approached a set of 3 girls, and one of them started hyperventilating (fake) and turning towards her friends and screaming, an adamant “no.” To which I said “you’re so weird” and they said something along the lines of “no, actually you are.” These three harsh rejections came at the pace and intensity that crushed my confidence. I had never been presented w such a slew of pain before. Keep in mind this is when I was still “redpilled” (read: coping) and thought I just had to convey a strong male frame and be confident. Every word I seemed to say to them pushed them away further and further, they had already made their mind up. I also remember the same night seeing this Hispanic chick throw herself at this very tall white college student, undeniably fratty (just based on his attire and the fact that two similarly dressed white guys were with him). He brushed the (mid 20s?) women off him in a “I get this all the time, why’re you so thirsty?” way and kept moving w his friends. It baffled me. I would kill to have that kind of attention, and to just reject it? The Hispanic woman even stared at me, smiled grimacingly, and went back to her friends. It was absolutely insane. The guy was playing attraction game on sandlot mode, without trying.

Anyway, fast forward to me returning for my last semester of college. As a quick caveat, the previous semester I had my heart broken by a German girl who I thought was really into me (made out very aggressively after our first date, she called me really special) and then made out w a guy at a bar in front of me a few weeks later and had sex with another guy a month later. Completely shattered me since I had feelings for this girl. Debilitating. And yes, she did not have sex w me. And yes, both of these guys were white. This is when I became hyper aware of the black pill, which includes the race pill. I realized how significant my height was (5’8”) in comparison to my male peers (I swear the average height at my college was 5’11”). I realized how significant my race was to my perception in dating (honestly in everything throughout my life thanks to lookism). I realized the significance of my beard in my overall perception. I started understanding the inner workings of this society, which stupidly and stupidly cares soo much about race, height, and looks. I would not be so devoured if I hadn’t had my heart broken. I bought a very good electric shaver, shaving every day before I showed my face to the world. I trimmed my very bushy eyebrows and shortened them (they were very thick). And lastly, and most controversially, I began skin lightening. I am a pretty brown individual, even though my mom is indistinguishable from a white woman but my dad is very dark. I was actually always jealous of my lighter skinned siblings because they always looked better than me aesthetically (two of them are white-passing). Anyway, I began this journey, and let me tell you, when my skin was light and I had all other components down, my life conditions increased DRAMATICALLY. First and foremost, just walking down the street, running errands, I had a way easier time walking around. You don’t understand how harsh and vile women can be until you experiment with these things. Bearded, more middle eastern looking me had women instantly look up in a “roll eyes” type of way the second eye contact was made. Girls, no matter how attractive or unattractive, would give you adamant, straightforward reasons to not be confident and to know where you stand in the social order. New me who did all of these things, saw girls essentially NEVER (with the rare occasion of a unattractive girl who’s clearly trying to number inflate by being super “I’m the shit” and “I can hold down a 9/10 man if I show I reject all other men” BS), NEVER straight reject and actually showed interest. When I approached sales clerks in stores, cashiers, etc they would allow me into their comfort zones, I felt an ENERGY change when I spoke to them, which I believe is so key to how we develop individually, psychologically, etc throughout life (through how others treat you). I even got indicators of interest, which honestly I did not often get before. I was dumbfounded, because I had essentially realized how superficial human beings are, and how much looks had affected me throughout my life. I realized why I was way more popular when I was younger (I had wavy hair and a baby face). The fact that I had a lot of female friends and actually had, on multiple occasions had girls initiate conversation with me in social settings with high levels of interest until I killed their attraction with how much of a weak, and honestly weird person I was (the only good thing that came from my red pill training was intense social calibration, I owned that shit lol). I began losing hair at 19 per my family’s understood genetic background and grew the beard out, an instant points drop from 6-6 1/2 to 3 territory. This led me to have very few sexual prospects, right at the time that I was understanding attraction, how to be normal, and how to be a sexually viable individual. Another thing to note is the fact that I lost many friends during this time too, almost like I lost the image that went with my looks and people didn’t include me in their social get-togethers anymore. Lookism had destroyed me. I forgot that people have sex in college, that many people have wild experiences here, I was too weird at first and too ugly at the end to have any of these, and one of my regrets (crazily, my only regret probably) about college is that I didn’t go more wild, just having insane nights and that I didn’t figure myself out earlier. All I had to show for college intimately was two heartbreaks and 5-6 make outs, with attractive girls but, still, and nothing more. And this was less than many of my male colleagues.

Anyway, I now have understood the blackpill’s autonomy over attraction and many other things. I recently got a very well paying job out of college (sales rep for lucrative house remodeling company) and am adamant at prioritizing two aspects of the LMS triangle, looks and money which includes the race pill. Status I guess comes w friends and popularity, which I definitely have and have never failed in.

I think of the things that German girl did to me, and how broken it left me, and I realize why I do these things. I can only image if I had done this before, if I wouldn’t have had that traumatic experience, and that I would continue to now avoid them going forward. It is simply insane. As a redpilled individual who got nowhere, and actually hurt, I understand its infeasibility, and how overarchingly the blackpill rules. Two failed years of redpill has led me to understand the blackpill’s prevalence and the fact that it’s the only accurate way to go.

TLDR: I changed my racial look to white-passing, and I’ve experienced how much it has changed my life (for the better).

P.S. I have MANY experiences before and after the change that I can let you guys know about, and they are insane, just ask. And also, if you are curious about lightening, it’s a complicated and long process, very difficult, but ask if you’re committed and I’ll let you know what you need to do it successfully.