Women, like men, have a survival instinct to get their needs met. Unlike men, they can get their needs met very easily and comfortably by convincing the right beta to take her in and put up with her shit. Men, however, have to ensure their own survival or keep living with their parents. She may actually "love you" and bring you joy. And you may feel strong feelings for her, but beware!! Watch who she really is by her actions.
How can you tell if you're just her Beta Bux? Here are a few key signs.
She still contacts her ex. Especially after you've asked her not to. If she was "in love" with you, she'd drop everyone else.
She openly flirts with others. If she does this, then she's still looking for her next branch while claiming that you're a dick for not letting her flirt "innocently".
She disrespects you publicly. Any woman worth a damn will show you the respect you deserve. Question is, how much do you actually deserve?
She disrespects you to her friends. Did you see a text or overhear a conversation with her bitching about you. Drop her!
She doesn't value your time, only your money. She may love that you pay for things, but then whines when you don't pick up the phone at work or when you don't take the afternoon off to help her pick out yoga pants.
You pay for more than she does. Don't do it.
She lives with you for free or cheap. Stop it!
She encourages you to be someone you're not. If she's trying to change you, then she's also trying to find another guy that actually is the persona that she wants.
She limits your time with family and friends. If she's actively trying to isolate you, it's because she subconsciously knows who she really is and she doesn't want to be found out. NEVER let a woman take you away from your family and friends.
Remember RP guys... listen to her actions, not her words. Acta, non verba - has been a turning point in my life for seeing the world for how it really is.
If you need to question whether or not you're BB, you are, next her.
Next her. And improve yourself.
Yep. Next her because is almost impossible to change the way she sees you at that point, not because evil women yadda yadda.
If you dont work on yourself the next one will also see you like the Berto you would be.
Just beat her, she will learn
I know you think that sounds smart, but it doesn't really make sense. Like, why would you dump a girlfriend cause you're not sure if you pay for more things than she does?
It sets a precedent , precedents become habits, and eventually this habit becomes the foundation of relationships.
You run out to buy your girl food late one night just to be nice and you love her so no big deal right ? You keep doing it a few times and then she actually starts asking you to do it , still appreciated so again no big deal . Then one night you're tired , it was a long day at work , she's hungry and asks you to go out and you say " hey babe I'm too tired tonight I won't be able to do it " All of a sudden she starts asking if you love her, why don't you do what you used to when you started dating , and / or gives you the silent / passive - aggressive anger treatment .
What started as a sweet well - intentioned favor progressed into an expectation that you are now bound to . You decide to go out anyway and get her food that night even though you were exhausted . Now she knows that she can control you and make you do whatever she wants no matter what's going on in your own life.
It changes the dynamic of your relationship . You were her sexy man but now she sees that you are kind of weak - willed and easy to control . You're not fun or unpredictable anymore because she knows her emotions and desires rule you .
I know this sounds exaggerated but I've lived it , It starts off with good intentions but it becomes a ball and chain before you know it .
It isn't, cooked 5 star meals for my ex when we first met to show her I was a great cook. Slowly progressed to her sending me pics of meals while she was at work with the text "hey we should make this tonight". Translation: stop what you're doing, research this meal, go to the store and get all the shit we need and get started making it so when I get home I can have it.
We're talking about hours of work when you add the prep time. I'm not exaggerating in the least. I'd be outside sweating my balls off working the grill and running up and down the stairs to put the dinner together and she'd be sitting in the living room watching her shows.
Toward the end I confronted her. I said I got tired of being her personal chef all the time. She blew a gasket. She said "you've changed, you used to love it when we'd cook new things", I said "yeah, but that's when WE cooked...I'm doing everything while you sit around, I feel used". You can guess how good she took it. Can't having me saying no to her constant demands.
The biggest issue in this one is misplaced blame.
You made something common and expected, then took it away.
So far as you've written, she didn't twist your arm, you voluntarily did all of this. Maybe thinking she was giving an ultimatum sure, maybe thinking that's just a nice thing to do.
The point is, you could easily have responded with "lol maybe someday." Or simply ignored it. She didn't give you an ultimatum. You chose that action. Covert contract 101.
When we started, she'd be in the kitchen chopping the vegetables, mixing up the marinade and reducing the sauce. I'd clean the grill out, get the coals going, soak some wood chips and set the table. The two of us would go outside, she'd hold the tray while I'd use tongs to put the meat on the grill. We'd talk about stuff and joke around while drinking and watching the grill. After the meat was done she'd hold the tray while I loaded the meat up and covered it with foil.
Toward the end, she'd text me images and links of what she wanted and I did everything while she sat on her ass waiting to eat "kind of like a restaurant". I think you can see the difference. When the two of us 50/50 worked together experimenting it was fun. When she sat back like entitled cunt watching me run around trying to everything it wasn't fun anymore. You are right about the covert contract part, looking back that was me using the first part of the D.E.N.N.I.S system.
Maybe the problem is you only did it to show her you were a good cook. You would hate it just as much if a woman only wore makeup and dressed well to "show you she could dress well" and worked out only to show you she could do it, but then got really lazy and stopped doing those things, and complained if you said something. If you came off like you were the master chef who could handle anything, she probably had no idea how hard it actually was. Was she actually sending the photos demanding you make it that night, or were you just translating it that way? You were perfectly entitled to say not tonight, that's something interesting for the future. In fact if you wanted any authority here you should have.
This made zero sense, i really urge you to not post and just read.
This is insecurity. If the girl messaged me "we should make this tonight", id say "sounds Great, can you get the ingredients". Not everything needs to be some game where you internalize everything without saying if something bothers you. If you learnt to state your boundaries in the first place there wouldn't have been an issue.
Every man should know how to cook, BUT your woman should be the one doing the regular cooking. If she doesn't know how, she can learn-- we live in the age where YT cooking videos are a dime a dozen, and in your case, she could've learned from you personally.
I would never let it get that far. If she didn't cook for the both of us, or doesn't know how to cook at all, then you next her, unless you're just looking for a fuckbuddy.
Seriously guys, don't LTR a girl who doesn't know how to manage a house (cooking, cleaning, organizing). You're just setting yourself up for disaster.
I a couple of years ago I dated a girl who would not even wash the dishes after she ate. She would only wash them when there were no clean plates or forks left in the drawer. Everything in the house turned in a huge mess. The sex was good, but wasn't enough to keep us together.
Ok so I'm 36 year old software developer from California and seeing a really smoking hot 18 year old (black) chick in Cali, Colombia. So she should pay as much as me? Was it wrong of me to have bought her that $2 (good) meal after banging at my place? I pay $5 for her taxi home. What about that? Well I'm honestly not at all interested in being with some very busy woman who has strong plans that extend out into her late twenties. I understand my role and for this I get a very feminine woman who doesn't want to compete with me and grabs my dick after having sex three times when I didn't think that I had it in me.
There's nothing wrong with paying for your fuck buddies food and ride home . Just don't make it a habit, also I think this applies a little more to LTR's and plates in that limbo between LTR's and platedom . we're not trying to shame you , we just need you to be aware of the games women play and how easy you can slip into being useful as a provider and pack mule .
Please keep fucking your hot 18 year old colombian it sounds like you're living the dream just don't let her rope you into taking care of her.
Christ, some of the people on this sub are fucking dumb.
Do what you fucking want. If you want to pay, then pay. If not, then don't. It doesn't matter. Like holy shit; sometimes I treat my friends to dinner and drinks, sometimes they treat me, sometimes we split the bill. Sometimes I pay for transport, food, drinks, sometimes the girl does, sometimes we split the bill. It's not a big deal.
Stop with the taker / scarcity attitude. Drop the absolutes. If a girl's financial situation is shitty and you are well off, why wouldn't you offer to pay for things like food, transport?
A loser/beta/chump is something you ARE, not something you DO.
The thing to ask is WHY you are paying. If you are paying because you have an agenda, i.e. you think it's going to help you get laid, then you are a chump and the girl will sense that and be turned off.
On the other hand, if you're paying because it's one of your principles, the girl will appreciate it. It's a matter of where you are coming from.
Way to make a fucking mountain out of a molehill.
No there's nothing wrong with it. And some of this TRP advice is a little autistic. I'm rich, not own a sports team rich but I have more than enough money to where it really makes no difference how much a restaurant, a business class ticket, or front row at a concert costs, stuff like that.
I don't ask women to split the bill ever. It's stupid, I don't care, on a day to day smaller level money doesn't matter to me at all. It doesn't make me beta bucks, it makes me alpha bucks, which is the best combination of all, what every woman dreams of.
The TRP advice is solid for younger guys who are inexperienced with women and are likely to get taken advantage of and used only for their ability to provide, since that's really the only thing they have going for them.
The classic time honored dynamic between men and women hasn't changed however. An older more successful, socially and physically dominant man who takes charge of the encounter, pays for things and makes decisions, and a younger, more fragile, beautiful, and submissive woman who keeps herself together emotionally and physically and provides feminine energy and sexual pleasure in return.
That's the archetypal relationship we should all be striving for.
It takes work to be that kind of man, guys slip out of that behavior and it bites them in the ass, and especially they don't demand that women keep up their end of the bargain, so they end up on the receiving end of shitty behavior. But I do think it's helpful to remember that our goal isn't some 50/50 modern relationship bullshit, it's the classic traditional model I'm describing.
If my girlfriend was 25 then I would probably not be paying for 100% of what we do along with her taxi but the reality is that she is 18 and doesn't have a job so its just an impossibility. The good part about it is that there are only two men in her life; her father and me. I'm not competing with a boss that gives her tingles due to how he commands her around. Its really nice and I think that having a woman who is employed would be a big step down from this. I'd rather that my woman is unemployed (unoccupied, in the worst sense of the word 'occupy') or has her own passion business.
All depends on the context. Last time I was in South America, I had a short-term fling with a hot 19year old. She was a student so I didn't expect her to pay for dinner, chip in for the motel/hotel room and other activities. I enjoyed her company, lots of sex and the only line I would not cross so as not to appear the provider/betabux is buying gifts. I see the rule of not paying for dinner more apply to 1st world countries, and especially here in Scandinavia where I live. I personally don't mind buying drinks on 1st/2nd dates, and if dinner it will be cheap.
Paying for things is fine as long as YOU are satisfied with the situation. If you are paying money and she's not satisfying you, then it's a bad deal regardless of the amount of money.
So the question for you is, are you satisfied with paying $7 to bang this girl? Based on your last sentence I'd say you are.
So, I heard Columbia is awesome. The chicks treat you like gold there, and they're smoking hot for the most part.
Is that true?
I'd say that in the streets there are tons of not great looking women but it appears to not be difficult to get one. I'll compare looks wise to Ukraine but the big difference here is that women don't appear to have a suppressed sexuality and they are willing to take chances although they are on average not as naturally good looking but are more vital. I think that basically if a woman here decides that she likes you then she will be trying to have sex with you. That isn't always the case in the world as women can become quite heady with the strategy of it. I haven't felt a need to plow through numbers because I found a great looking woman who is half my age. Its been super easy so far except that about ten days into knowing her she pulled an epic and typical Colombian jealousy shit test as was trying to lay down rules. I wasn't even looking for another woman because really for me if I'm having sex four times in a day with a woman who is giving me all of the bells and whistles then I'm content. So I was an inch from breaking up with her and in words I actually did so but then she changed her tune completely and its been good for weeks now. She is a woman and so she tries to do what she can and how specifically she does that is based on the culture and here it says to be supremely jealous and to fuck their man perfectly to keep him on the hook and then on the other side to ride his ass about other women. I just let her know that I'm not going to have the peace fucked with because she wants to feel extra special some moment.
I think that here in Colombia you can be into a good relationship after being here for a few weeks or so and that its possible to be having some sort of sex within days to a week. I rested up my first few days and then I went to a heavy Gringa area in Medellin and since I was fresh I banged a slightly fat Canadian woman within a few hours, to get myself in the game. Then I immediately decided that I didn't want to spend any more time in that decadent and played out Western tourist scene. Just get away from foreigners as much as you can once you have gathered the useful information. That is not where you want to be at although due to amenities and the practicality of it you will likely be around a fair amount of them. I'll say that the Western women around me are funny. They get butt hurt easily when I don't go for them after a week or so and then they all seem to hit a point where they have trouble looking me in the eyes. Colombians don't seem to run that buggy OS and they appear to try harder when they like a man and they also stay cordial. Westerners are butthurt egoists.
This scenario applies to, but is not exclusive to, sexual relationships. It is unfortunately a fairly constant part of human nature. Give or provide something once - it's a wonderful and appreciated gesture. Give or provide it twice - it's nice, but not especially appreciated. Give or provide it thrice - no gratitude appropriate or required because it's owed and the recipient is due that, and more. This applies to professional and business relationships (doctor-patient, attorney-client, welfare recipient-state, customer-vendor). Be very careful of providing the second benefit, and strictly avoid ever providing any benefit the third time without a suitable quid pro quo in the exchange, because of this tendency of almost all humans.
I don't think I'd get into that kind of situation to be honest.
lol no one does , It's your life captain I'm just telling you from experience and I've seen other men fall down that rabbit hole too . If a chick is fun and a half - decent adult she should be able to pay her own way anyway but do what feels right to you just don't be surprised if where you previously sacrificed out of love starts to feel like the " price" of having a relationship .
It's a relationship that likely won't improve by any RP standard. It will end quick or slow, but it's a huge investment to try to salvage. I wouldn't say dump her if this is the only criterion met, but its a factor to look at and evaluate. The others are more serious, like contact with other men or disrespect in any of its forms.
You dump her because disrespect in its many ways
Not necessarily. It's good to question yourself sometimes to make sure you aren't becoming what you don't want to become. If you're in an LTR and you've been reading trp for a while I can almost guarantee there will come a couple of moments where you are wondering if you're doing it right or you'll wonder if that was a shit test or if you've been a little off your game the last week. It happens. Of course at some moment, normally on the shitter or in the shower, you're gonna wonder if you've become BB. It doesn't mean you have. It doesn't mean you need to end a relationship, just means you need to refocus yourself and reassess yourself.
Women are slower than we think at concluding if you are now a BB after you were AF. Unless you completely crumble or she does one of those nuclear options on OP's list, then you're probably fine. A couple relationships I've seen lately have shown me that. The girls gave their supposed AFs the benefit of the doubt until it became so obvious to the contrary. The quick part then is the branch swinging. Once they realise you are Theta Tim they won't be sticking around for long.
Even if she passed all of these, it doesn't mean shit. She can change her mind at any time. I've known a few "good girls" like this, and yet after a time they do the same things a "bad girl" does. They can make choices just like we can, and they can do it with encouragement from friends and family, especially if it's a choice that will turn out badly for her. All you can do is be aware and wait to see how she chooses, and protect yourself from possible fallout.
THIS. You must never forget that women are fickle and the slightest thing may make them change their perception of you. Once its ingrained it becomes their reality, true or not.
An example from an LTR I was in. Woman started out calling me her unicorn man, we date for a year. I hit a very rough patch in my professional life and open up emotionally, sharing some of my past abuse history and how it affected my mental health. Things were never the same. She actually said that having someone like me around was a liability to her because I could have a breakdown at any time.
How did I fuck up? I believed her when she told me I should open up emotionally and we could rely on each other in that way. Sharing my inner fears and doubts cast an idea of weakness in her mind and that was it for the relationship. She never acted the same way again toward me.
Lesson learned: Never ever share your weakness or turmoil with your LTR unless you're prepared to next them. Never ever ever share details about your inner self with a plate.
There is an emotional bank account with women and you can only draw on it one time if you're in a point of crisis. Women are not reliable, and even as LTRs you must remember they are lifestyle accessories and like any other "thing" can break down for good on a whim at any time.
Shit happens. Expect it and you won't feel brutalized when it does.
While I get the biological ie hormonal aspect of being fickle. I sincerely believe that women are not fickle on a conscious level.
They know what is going on. They know they made a right/wrong decision. The only difference is, they get away with both with most men.
A low-life whore will never try to trick her die-hard pimp.
That was really tough man. Thanks for sharing
That's golden. This is so damn true and is the reason awalt is awalt. I've seen what I'd consider decent women be turned by the influence of feral women. Those are the saddest ones to see go since they fueled the potential of an ever hiding beta hope.
I resonate with this. I've tested girls before by dropping subtle hints about myself that I wouldn't ever tell them otherwise.
The other week I was with a plate that I've been hooking up with for a few months. She was a horny freak, only wanting to fuck. It was becoming apparent that the relationship is fizzling out, so I decided to throw her a test. The only times I would see this girl are when she comes over and swallows my kids. I kept details about my life to a bare minimum. I never told her what I do for a career and never told her that I make really good money doing it. I've spent about $50 on her since I met her, mostly on condoms. I figured this would be the last time I was going to see her, so I wanted to see what she would do when I gave her a glimpse.
After we were done having sex, we were lying down watching a movie. I was looking at cars on my cell phone, making it so she could see what I was doing. I pulled up pictures of BMW, Mercedes Benz, etc. looking for the most ridiculous price. I pulled up a 70k Benz and asked her what she thought. She looks at me kind of weird, then says "You want to buy THAT?" I told her it was time for me to get a new vehicle and I wanted to get something not too expensive.
I could damn near see the wheels turning in her head. She says "You can afford that?" I quickly changed the subject, telling her she missed a part of the movie. About 20 or 30 minutes later, I initiate more sex. As I'm pulling out the condom, she says "Let's try it without this time, it feels soo much better." I ignored her and opened it up anyways.
She went from excited to distant in record time. She says "I'm too sore, I think the condom is hurting me." This girl has never had a problem with condoms, even when we would go at it half a dozen times. My suspicions confirmed, I tell her that its ok and we can wait until it's better. We get dressed and I take her home. The whole ride I could tell she was thinking. We get to her place and I ask if I can come up for a bit. Usually she would have said yes without hesitation, but this time she said "Not tonight, maybe this weekend. You can pick me up in your new ride." then smiled.
Needless to say, I'm never texting her again. She saw me as AF, but as soon as she thought I was loaded I was quickly thrown into the BB category. Don't trust them.
I was wondering this lately. Is it even possible to be AF when having loads of money at all? I had this experience as well. As soon as they find out I have a great job, their pussy gets a price tag and they start acting entitled and keep finding shit I need to do for them. Of course I just laugh at them. But I'm begining to think AF chad was never some rich kid like Gray from 50 shades, but only beach bodyguards, bartenders and milkmen.
You can be loaded and still be alpha. Just don't ever tell her, or anyone for that matter, how much money you have/make. Like you said, that's when tingles turn into a price tag.
What about for someone you're interested in long term?
It's possible, you just have to be dominate all the time. For 99.99% of people that's too hard to keep up.
Remember, she's not yours. It's only your turn.
Wait, does TRP just not believe in marriage then? Because being a 45 year old bachelor does not seem like a viable strategy.
Read the story of potato soup guy on how to handle it: https://archive.fo/iMsoy
now thats the sort of good night story I like to hear.
Jesus fucking christ, what a story and confirmation. Glad i don't need to try that myself, cheers.
Damn that's sharp. Someone knowing somehting good about yoju and then turning into a bitch? shit
That doesn't make sense, though. Wouldn't she want to try harder to make it work? Isn't BB based on behavior, not on actual level of wealth? Because, by your account, your behavior didn't actually change.
Edit: Just thinking to myself, if your story reflects AWALT, then that would mean that a Lamborghini is a BB car.
Before TRP I wouldn't have done any of this. After TRP, I really don't give a fuck what she feels. I did what I wanted to do with the knowledge I had. That's the point.
I agree with you, it doesn't make sense. Turning him away instead of inviting him is totally counter-intuitive to "nailing him down", if that is what she wanted... Honestly, I'm skeptical, because it seems too much like he's writing specific examples of being treated like a friend-zoned beta... while at the same time she's trying to bag him as her own. But those two concepts are mutually-exclusive.
What she was trying to do is play a simple game of chase. She was going to play hard to get and try to wife him up.. Typical game play
Having the kind of money to buy a lambo is on a whole different level. I wasn't actually going to buy the car, I made her think I was.
On top of the fact that if I drove a lambo, I wouldn't be bringing plates to my house.
Why did she not invite you inside? If she's trying to nail you down, she isn't going to "friend-zone" you. I'd think that she'd want to invite you in and do all she could to keep you, since at that point playing hard-to-get while having a fuck-buddy relationship is just going to push you away.
Sounds like you had a nice thing going before you decided to nuke it for some reason. You already knew what her reaction was going to be because awalt.
Why does it matter? Abundance mentality and he clearly expresses he did it just to see it himself which is pretty important when swallowing the pill
What's really ridiculous is that you think that's a ridiculous price, my sport.
Led me guess, you live in a multi million dollar mansion and drive a lamborghini?
Get your smug attitude out of here.
Don't ever spend money on women. Oh lordy just don't.
When asked to buy shit for her just laugh and go "newwwp" if she keeps asking, block and delete.
The higher your SMV goes the less they expect it, too. I met a girl on the weekend and she bought my drinks and even bought me breakfast the next morning. Now if I can just find one who does taxes I'll be all set.
Women do this kind of shit to get an "in". There's two possible reasons she wants that "in".
Reason 1 is that she sees your SMV as higher than her own and is trying to get you to like her. She's kissing your ass because she feels you wouldn't give her the time/dick of day if she didn't bring anything to the table other than her holes. You can string this girl along because all you have to do to get her favor is just be there. It's funny, because she probably has 4 or 5 guys doing the same thing to her: sucking up.
Reason 2 is beta bucks. She'll fuck you like a pirate, make you food, buy you things, etc. She'll get you addicted to the dopamine to extract commitment. Once she gets it you're done. This is what the majority of relationships are like.
If she isn't acting like reason 1, then you need to increase your SMV. Be an asshole, lift, and hit on tons of women (especially in front her). If you have read the sidebar, you'll know if she's a reason 2 type. You'll get about a week tops out of that type before she realizes you're not going to commit. Then you'll be forgotten.
For those of us new to RP, can you tell me what SMV stands for?
This is sidebar material. The sub clearly states that you need sidebar material knowledge.
You're right. Using a new mobile app. Didn't know how to load sidebar. Got her figured out now though.
Since no-one else was responding to this I had to look it up, it stands for "sexual market value".
No one was responding because the guy hasn't even browsed the sidebar. That complete low lack of effort doesn't warrant a response from anyone here. He wanted someone else to drop the knowledge on him instead of actually reading the sidebar.
And you fell for it. Probably because you wanted to be "nice". Good job champ.
Thanks. I guess it was in the sidebar. Didn't know how to load it. Kind of ridiculous people will down vote you over the littlest things.
I have a plate who does my taxes.. she a cute little 25 year old blonde with perky tits and in school for accounting.
For some reason she's always SUPER horny after doing my taxes.. guess I pay her with dick? Am I a whore?
Yes. I'm a fucking handsome whore.
lol
I don't know if I would do that. For $50 you can find someone independent to do your taxes. I don't want some chick knowing all about my finances.
I second this. There is always talk about how no woman, not even one's own mother or sister, should know how much you make. So why the fuck would you let a plate do your taxes?
If she gets horny after doing your taxes, it's probably because those high numbers she is calculating/ seeing are giving her the tingles, and certainly not your dick.
Yeah fuck you OP, you're garbage, remember that!
I nearly spilled my soda typing that.
I wouldn't even let a woman I fuck cut my hair lol.
$50? Is it a 1040EZ? If not, where the hell are you finding someone to do your taxes for that little?
He said she's an accounting student. You really think she's filing a return with K-1s, capital gains, Schedule C? Give me a break
That is what I thought...and wait until he gets that IRS audit.
Then he will have a complete new understanding of anal penetration..........and why so many chicks don't want any part of it.
LOL!!!!!
Women like to do shit for guys they want to fuck. It's like when you're really rich and famous people are always giving you free shit.
I shudder at the idea of a 25 year old doing my taxes, man or woman.
Come on bruh, 25 yr with a CPA license for 2+ years.
Wouldn't trust you with my dog's taxes.
I don't want to be racist mate, but I'd rather trust my accounts with an Asian..... The last person to handle them would be a blonde.
I prefer a Jew to an Asian for my tax needs.
I prefer my taxes done correctly and my dick sucked correctly.
I don't even like spending money on myself.
Yeah, I'm not a fast learner. I am pretty sure my "gentlemen always pay" schtick has dried up quite a few potential hits for me.
Well done, sir!
Yeah.. the paying for women's shit is fucking OVER... they can't be proud, strong and independant if you are buying them drinks and food, now can they? hehehe
You have women ask for you to buy them things?
This is all strange behavior which I haven't experienced...who are these women?
I spend money on women, not lavishly, but tokens on birthdays, lunches, etc.
One example was a hot Venezuelan that I had started working who was new in town and away from home without access to her family\friends on her birthday during the holidays. Bought her a small necklace and told her that I would make her birthday special with a dinner\night out. It has been a freaking gold mine....she wears the necklace everywhere, constantly sends me photos saying I am with her pointing at the necklace and has since bought me Christmas presents, shirts, golf equipment, thrown several parties\dinners for me, and watches. So if I had been an uncompromising TRP fanatic and strictly followed the "never buy a chick anything rule", I would have been out 7 hot months of Venezuelan at this same level because quite honestly the simple thought clicked something over in this chicks mind....I suspected that at the time because she was an open "romantic".
It simply comes down to your own value.
This is the key. The gift should cost what amounts to pocket change for you.
My man knows what he's talking about
Nice simple rule. I like that.
I did. Now I don't.
"take me out to see such and such movie" newwwp
"let's go drinking, you buy!!!" newwwwp
"I'm hungry.. bring me some McDonalds on your way over" newwwwp
"Can I get a bottle of water.. I'm thirsty from that hike" newwwp
"It's my daughter/son's birthday are you bringing a gift?" newwwp
These may seem like small things.. but they add up and women are testing how much they can suck out of you.
newwwp!
A lot of replies in this thread about spending money on plates. Here is a rule of thumb: think of them like the casino. Money you spend on them is a luxury, and once its spent its GONE. Its never coming back, as cash, emotional attachment, sex or otherwise. Its an entertainment fee.
if you are sacrificing anything; time, money, emotional energy on any woman you're spending too much. Never sacrifice from yourself for a plate. That's the pedestal mentality. If it hurts to do it, you can't afford it and shouldn't be doing it.
Spending money is fine, but only if you're saturated in abundance, alpha as fuck relative to every dude around you and able to socially calibrate with the best of em. So, basically anyone reading this, don't spend money.
What's the limit on this? What if we get married?
Jesus man, back to basics. Don't get married.
Lol ok bud, seems like you're cutting off the nose to spite the face. As someone who doesn't consider himself a loser, I've met plenty of people of the opposite sex who I consider to actually be people. I know I'm in the wrong place to say this, but don't let the one girl who screwed you over when you were 18 blind you from the fact that both men and women can be assholes, but they can also not be assholes. Work on being a person yourself and you'll meet another person.
Why do you need to get married to prove you are a good person? If you are such a good person another good person should respect your stance on not wanting to get married.
Marriage is not a good deal for men in the contemporary climate. No amount of societal pressure to get married or not should have any determination on whether you are a "good person" or not.
Seriously, the only thing that changes is that she can fuck you over anytime she wants. There is literally no rational reason for marriage except lower taxes (in my country).
Hey bud, a lot of people on here are very black and white with a lot of redpill stuff here. A lot of the material such as dont get married, is black and white, and the real world is a lot of grey. Basically, get married, at your own risk. Or basically get married in a country where you actually won't get divorce fucked.
Sorry if I came across as saying "marriage = good person." also sorry that's all you picked up. People are just people, sorry you are having a hard time trusting people or being confident enough in yourself to risk getting hurt.
The only correct thing in your diatribe is that you're in the wrong place to say this.
What a wonderful counterargument, I feel surprisingly convinced.
Basically described my ex. I married her when I was young and had no idea what I was doing, figured her out and dumped her ass and since then have found this place and turned my life around in pretty much a complete 180. At least 153 or so now, haha
Explain the remaining 27 degrees.
That's the age that she hit the wall.
I thought I was supposed to spend 2 months salary on an engagement ring then let her quit her job even though I hired a nanny to help. Oh, and drop all my friends and hobbies to be there for her
Don't forget to tie some wire around your balls so they fall off. Girls dig that shit.
Untie the wire, when she's gone.
The relief will be wonderful.
She should never call you at work, and only text you for fun stuff, unless it's a freaking god damned national emergency. And not an "I need lipstick" type of emergency either..... I'm talking about a full-on epic life-or-death international crisis ... eg no beer in the house.
Shit man are you ok? Already sent full seals team with supplies. Hope this helps.
thanks man... it hasn't happened yet, but good to know you've got my back
This is a great post bro! I hope someone sees this and it gives their head a shake. Most dudes in this situation have put this girl's ass on a pedestal and have been worn down into thinking, "this is the best I'm going to get".
If u/HardRightCapn just described your LTR, re-evaluate your life choices and swallow the RedPill
This list describes things that a woman may do to you.
The best way to evaluate a relationship is what a woman will do for you.
If she's not doing these things for you, she's not worth your commitment, even if she doesn't overtly disrespect you.
This happens to ladies also.... I earned more then my ex husband and he found it very easy to love me and stay around doing nothing while I worked doubletime...... I enjoy this sub but it goes both ways..... men and women can both be horrible, tits are just better to look at then balls
Agreed! This sub is purposefully gender specific, because of the differences. But the general attitudes of self improvement and self confidence remain the same.
Precisely. Aka never devalue yourself to try and control something that you just can't. The more you try to start controlling them (whether you take the nice guy or the overly possessive partner approach) the more you slip into beta territory and self-improvement goes out the window. Definitely not sexy.
You are right that the specified terrible things in the OP can happen to both men and women, but let's not go about and assume that the machine (i.e. goverment and society) gives the same cushioning for both sexes.
TRP in particular, and the Manosphere in general, came about because the safety net that men "enjoy" has so many holes in it compared to that given to women. Many men are lost in modern societies, not knowing what it means to be a man, and this is the birthing stone of sites such as TRP: to have a guiding hand for generations of boys and men growing in a hyper feminized atmosphere, with a shitty father figure in their life, or none at all thanks to the societal encouragement of single mothers.
Difference being that societal structures make it okay for you to do nothing, whilst a loser husband is just that, in the eyes of everybody, so this behavior is much less expected from us.
It is not so much that men cannot be "horrible", but we are so in different ways, and this sub is about exploring your behavior, and how not to fall prey to it.
Which is why I read it, I spinned my plates after the divorce but I wasn't happy with life I search for more now .... I come here to understand relationships from the other view point, I tend to be very submissive in relationships which had not always been good for me, now with trp I can understand my partners better with out looking like I have anxiety or am too clingy since sometimes I do need to know I'm important and where I stand and do not to try and make him do retarded tests to prove himself, he is a grown man and shouldn't have to be treated like a child BUT his communication skills are sometimes hard to understand (thanks to the way some people are raised m/f)
I have to disagree. Women with their own money are a nice "Bonus", like men with money that are also exceptionally good looking, they surely wont turn it down but I know of no men, NOT ONE, that would stay with a mediocre woman with money rather then take the "super hot chick" without money.
Again, understand that if we have the choice between hot chick with money and hot chick without, we surely take the bonus but the operative word here is "hot chick".
No woman with a right mind would let a financially strong, powerful men go for a weak, broke "beau". She might have some fun with the latter but when it comes to commitment, the mediocre looking, boring but rich and powerful guy will always "take the cake" (she will see the beau from time to time for the funsies if she can afford it).
Why should men be interested in womens money? they are better at making money anyway. Men are trained to make money from childhood. It is their thing, they learn nothing else. No Parent goes around telling little Joe that he needs to take care of his good looks to be successful in life, like they do to Jenny. Joe is told that he needs to work hard and earn mucho money to be able to support a family. So why should little Joe look for something he allready has?
Same goes for Jenny. She has the good looks, she allready works all day to get her Body in perfect shape, fight through the incomprehensible complexity (at least from a mans point of view) of Cosmetics to put on a face that in the end does not even look like her own anymore. She has no damn time to work and make money like Joe does.
Joe on the other hand has no time for Cosmetics and Aerobics because Joe is going from one Meeting to another to understand Economics which is basically "Wizardy" or he is trying to understand complex Machinery, Binary Codes, Mathematic Formulas or he is busy risking his life going over 300kph in a two or four wheeled Vehicle round and round over the same roads or he wears a uniform and goes around shooting armed people that are actively trying to kill him and so on.....Joe has no time for make up.
Sorry to say but you might have just hit the exception. No men will go around telling his friends "this women I am with makes lots of money, she sure is a keeper" rather then "that ass!...".
But my "Joe" played video games and worked just enough hours every week to pay for his Madden and fantasy football leagues ... he figured if I could pay all the bills why should he help? I did that for years.... I'm still paying off debt he racked up under my name because he couldn't get a credit card with his score .... long story short there are humans of either sex that will take advantage of others to protect their own interests...
So dumb when the only counter-arguments are, "well, you're obviously just an ugly women." No thought whatsoever. When I was deep in my drug habit, I stole from and took advantage of my girlfriend.. I feel like there's been a dramatic shift in the Red Pill in the last, oh, probably two years, where the member base is much more jaded than it used to be. Men here forget that love can actually exist between a man and woman. Like the argument from an above comment that all men will choose a hot chick w/ no money over an ordinary woman w/ money. That already depends on the individual, I don't believe in AMALT any more than I believe in AWALT, but really, I think that most men will choose whichever woman makes him happiest.
The replies are almost as retarded as the anecdotal evidence everyone is replying to.
Ya sometimes deadbeat guys will take advantage of fat women that can't secure a guy without money. I've seen it in a past social circle. But this is far from the norm like you're making out to be with your equalist bullshit.
The vast majority of the time it's women leaching off men so who gives a fuck about your exception to the rule?
People take advantage of people them the facts ..... some rp users keep pointing out weight like only "ugly" girls are affected by these few men, men who are exceptions to your community (?) but you would be wrong... anyone vulnerable to their emotions after a breakup are susceptible to being taken advantage of by someone who might not even realize they're taking advantage of them which I think is the primary reason most late in life relationships fail... People try and hook up before they are ready and bring all the resentments, poor habits and garbage into the next relationship repeating the same mistakes over and over again sometimes getting much worse sadly
Typical woman drivel....talk talk talk without really saying anything.
please do understand, I am not saying it is not possible. There are men that are lazy, opportunists or even straight criminal and can and WILL abuse another person with money (you would be surprised how much this happens among "friends") but this is nowhere near the numbers to take into a general account.
By the way, let the damn bum go. This forum is not meant to safeguard every prick with a dick between his legs. An Asshole is an Asshole. If he is really (ab)using you and/or your money then he is basically a "golddigger" and if men have no tolerance for those...why should you?
Oh I did let him go... thank you for clarifying your point.... I'll just add this about gender roles as women were brought up to accept that the men might come across lazy they might come across not adding to the relationship and just accept it because their men and you shouldn't expect them to do certain things....so we accept that they're not going to do certain things and then we accept that they're not going to do other things and we accept so much and we swallow it down and we just say well hell I guess this is just the way it's going to be and we settle....... now until I took my red pill I settled and then I realized f*** that there's no reason why I should be made to suffer when he gets to enjoy life and i work myself to death ...kiced his ass to the curb and have been seeking out the right red pill for me (spinning my own plates from time to time trying to avoid the games people play when they think they can)
It's because you're a fatty and wanted to buy his attention and he was as close to a Chad as you could lock down.
Don't come in here and play that old ass victim card. You were getting what you wanted out of it and were willing to pay for it. Now you've hit the wall and are trying to find attention on a mens only subreddit.
Lmao, read into her personality and shut her fatass down. Good job.
operative words were 'hot chick'
Reasonable doubt. that's a sharp statement.
The problem with this is the difference between men and womens roles in relationship dynamics.
Can you explain why you stayed with someone who was like this and you were aware of it? For men it's because they can't find anyone else. For women, they're usually with some form of AF and think the money is one way to keep him exclusive/around. You could easily find another dude, but as in demand as the dude you kept? You deemed it unlikely.
Women tend to find someone who makes more than them as discussed widely on this forum; read up on hypergamy. If there is an extenuating circumstance to wanting to keep their 'deadbeat' man around, then it is not the norm.
My sister owns her own house and is able to keep her deadbeat Chad boyfriend of 15 years. If she didn't have the house, he would be gone and she would be with a more provider like guy.
EDIT: You succeeded in triggering at least 3 of us. But our responses are more for other guys to get a clarification of what's really going on and not so much a response of what you've hamstered in order to survive.
How the fuck are any of you upvoting this bullshit.
Mods need to track each of your asses down and ban you. All you beta chumps just fell for her validation tactic.
She straight walked into your castle, kicked you in the nuts and walked out while you all thanked her for it.
Jesus fuck you guys who upvoted her are programmed so hard into beta mode you didn't see what she just did and how you massively failed.
Because there are tons of fake alphas, as well as trolls, who think that understand RP when they fail to apply it in their own life (hence the BP behavior).
Is she wrong? Are you really trying to say that men don't take advantage of women with money? Or that men don't sometimes do the things that OP listed as examples of terrible women's behaviour? You clearly have thoughts about this, so rather than just saying that she's so far off base, explain why and how, dude.
Are you retarded? Of course there are men that take financial advantage of women. Congratulations on turning 13. The problem is is that taking advantage of your SO's financial stability is programmed into the female biological imperative, and isn't in males. Cool anecdotes in this thread bad sadly just anecdotes.
Good point. Useless thread doesn't require useful comments.
Lol. I don't even understand the reasoning behind comments like yours and the other dumb people here. It's like going to a thread explaining the behavior of ISIS and yelling "BUT OTHER RELIGIONS ARE VIOLENT AS WELL SOMETIMES, IT'S NOT JUST ISIS!!!!! I KNEW A CHRISTIAN THAT WAS MEAN" it's screams so loudly that whatever is being discussed is just too much for your insecurities so you derail the conversation completely.
Yes but its way less common the other way around?
I have a lot of very unhappy lady friends with bum husbands I think its equal..... I do agree the blue pills will just "settle" and stay together for many bullshit reasons but really it's just easier to be miserable together then poor and alone
Then you have a lot of manly women friends who bought the feminist bullshit. They worked and expected high value males to give a shit.
Sorry dear, high value males don't need you're or you're friends money. When your friends try to buy a man they're going to get a raw deal but it's also the only way they'll get one.
There are so many other subReddits that prove this by clicks counts.
Dick is more aesthetic than pussy
Personal opinions will vary :)
Ps it doesn't go both ways. You seemed to have missed the whole premise of this sub - intersexual differences. If you let your husband take advantage of you, you have no one to blame but yourself. I'm sure he fell in the alpha fucks category which just further reaffirms what we're saying here.
We were both at fault getting into the relationship and staying as long as I did was stupid for sure but once I started thinking hard about what we both deserved for what we were putting in I saw the truth
lol she said they go both ways
Like a bisexual
It is historically more prevalent in women. Women are financial leeches whereas generally speaking men have been putting the bread on the table since before civilization. That's the purpose of this subb, to identify both gender's mating strategy.
Historically speaking who was making the bread that that was getting put on the table? Two part system that had failed to work together since one thought getting hands dirty in a field was harder then covered in lint and flour....
Nobody said women weren't housewives. And I'd get your fucking head checked if you think making bread and drinking wine while watching day time TV is some how comparable to coal mining, construction/roofing during the summer, welding or any other job where the work conditions are so horrible and physically demanding your cakey ass wouldn't last an hour.
Do you really think these women sat drinking wine?!... my grandmother at 8 children she had no time to sit still maybe the five minutes after she had her first baby and in between each one after that ......but she was Raising those children she was wiping their asses,then she was wiping their faces ....then she was cooking for them she was taking care of her parents her husband's parents and one of their grandparents didn't have time to sit still they had to go outside and pick the food that they were going to prepare for the kids if there was a store nearby than maybe they would buy stuff if they had money to buy stuff ...... one problem they had 8 kids and didn't have enough money to buy stuff got to be kidding me those women work their assess off.... if they didn't die in childbirth .... this was the 30s btw ..... and both my grandfather and his sister served in ww2.... my aunt saw more front line as a nurse then my grandfather on a battleship... both American hero's....... Lazy comes in both sexes
Way to ignore his point entirely.
Do you seriously think that child-rearing and housechores are comparable to work such as coal mining, construction/roofing, welding, factory work, etc.? You're delusional if you think so.
Holy hot steamy Jesus....this is a great post OP. 100% solid advice and completely true....I've lived this. Been there...got the t-shirt....and written on it in big red letters is "AWALT"
Your penis will tell you that she is the one. For her your penis was the one between the second and the fourth.
Literally the only fix for any of those items listed is to drop her, work on yourself until a woman, or women in general don't do them.
"She encourages you to be someone you're not. If she's trying to change you, "
Have to disagree with this one....virtually all women try to change their BF even if he is the most alpha dick around...they will work to make him less attractive to other women.
As to the rest, just thank god, I have never ran into a women who did any of those things with me????
Sounds like you've made good choices in women.
Only one tried to change me. I learned after that. Since then, if you need me to be a different man, then you need a different man.
Oh god yes always. It's a constant struggle of trying to maintain your independence and identity. My last ex tried to get me to change up my hair to a dorky dad look...I'm fuckin 24 years old absolutely not
You mean, if you have to ask her not to.
Honest question from someone new to RP. What if you both agree innocent flirting is fine. Like, when we go out. I kind of flirt with girls and she kind of flirts with guys. Is there some weird balance that makes it okay, or is just considered an unhealthy relationship for both of us?
No it's not OK. It's not about equality. You do it because you're alpha. She lets you because she wants you and puts up with it. She doesn't because she respects your wishes because you're her alpha.
It sounds really asshole, but it's true. If you're her alpha then you need to remind her of your abilities. She may whine but her instincts respect it and force her to up her game to constantly earn your affection.
Good answer. Okay I'm gonna start enforcing that.
All forms of relationships are an exchange. As a man, you're also using her: for her body, her cooking skills..
She also uses the alpha guy: for good sex, adventure, gina tingles.. She's using the beta guy: for money, provider qualities.
The problems is not that she's using you. It's what she's getting from you compared to what you're getting from her.
Just break all LTRs after the 5-6 month mark it is much more simpler that way.
Those are definite red flags, but it doesn't really prove anything. I think anyone would agree that a girlfriend doing all or most of those things is not good. Even doing just a few of those examples, any of them, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone that'd say it's nothing to worry about.
I got my divorce because of the last point. In my mind that is the most important one and IS FUCKING SPOT ON! Great post!
Anyman who does this:
She lives with you for free or cheap. Stop it!
is out of his F*cking mind!
Whatever happened to spinning plates? This is all aimed at lassoing a unicorn.
Some dudes are RP andstill like LTRs.
Yup. Am in LTR. She's not a unicorn, shes a woman.
Advantages:
sex on tap
she does the chores and cooks and minds my boys
?:
Disadvantages:
she's difficult to talk to, and has no ambition to learn anything.
Shit tests. Last time was about a month ago. I think that beats ONS rate but it's still there.
Personally I like LTR (or Medium Term Relationships) for those and other reasons.
Difficult to talk to sucks. But that's why you have bro time.
Shit tests are fun with the right woman. My girl now throws them out every day. Beta me would have been destroyed and exhausted. RP me loves them as part of the fun banter of our relationship. 99% sass back to her shit and she eats it up.
Keep improving
I dont give a fuck.
Only to try to make me jealous. Also, IDGAF
Next.
Impossible I already next her.
Next.
I do it because she's my bitch, not my equal.
This is stupid, how could I have other plates if she lives with me.
She says a lot of silly things that don't matter.
True but I need time to fuck her.
My question is there any way to stop/fix any of these things (if so, how)? Or is it a lost cause once they start happening?
My thoughts are, a couple of those you can fix. Most of them, not a chance. Then they're part of her character... part of who she is. That and if she does several of these, then you'll never be her Chad. It shows how little she thinks of you.
I come from aus, you have no idea how true this is here.
So glad to find this post. Check out my history to see the shitstorm my ex caused..
This is truly sound advice for any man. some trp posts have been iffy, but this is solid.
The family comment is right on.
What is it called if i live with her in her house, she pays for everything, and I just enjoy the free food and, uh, intimate stuff?
It's not beta bux because I offer no bucks, but it's not alpha fux because I spin only 1 plate at a time?
TRP doesn't feel like it covers my situation.
Ugh... Was reading through this list like, “...fuck...shit...yup...God Damn it..."
Don't be that guy. I was that guy. That guy sucks
it's doomed to fail. but i think it's worth it to stick it out in this situation sometimes (if it's unpleasant, get out immediately though). you can learn a lot this way, especially if the girl comes from a higher socioeconomic background than you.
if you're getting laid, and you're getting some upward class tourism, you might as well enjoy it and learn from it while it lasts.
If she ticks a couple of the boxes, does that still counts?
We pay for shit on an equal amount, she also drives over to meet me and drive me places.
The only boxes she ticks are 1. She doesn't cut off her exes, they don't talk on a regular basis but I've seen a random call when one of her international DJ ex visit my country. The talks are quite nonchalant and rather briefs. Mainly asking why they're calling have a brief catchup-with-friend talk then wish them a good day. She also doesn't flirt with anyone other than me.
She whines about me on the phone to her best girlfriends. but it's more of her trying to get some validation from them. She shows proper respect in public though.
She doesn't value my time sometimes, asking me to go over then continue to do her shit while I'm there instead of spending quality time with me. Doesn't happen often, but happens.
Wants me to stay with her when I have a meeting set with friends (which I've informed her in advance). it'll either be while we're together or she'll ask me to "drop by" close-ish to the meeting time then ask me to stay and ditch the meeting. She'll back down if I'm firm with her, otherwise she'll play coy, offer sex, or get mad.
0/9 wow maybe nexting 30 girls to end up with a reasonable ltr was a good idea!
you described an ex of mine back when I was still a BP idiot with romantic delusions.
The last point is golden. Your friends and family are infinitely more precious than any woman can ever hope to be.
It just a slow roll till she has total control. You may think she's awesome but once she has some leverage you will see. You either have total control via fear of loss, or she's slowly on the way out...ALWAYS.
I just fuck them until they don't let me fuck then anymore I don't care bout the games
All my girlfriend's have always paid for everything, even my own personal stuff including rent, food, etc. Not sure where you guys manage to find the girls you speak of. It's pretty obvious when a chick is a gold digger or slut who will cheat on you.
None of them have cared that I was broke and openly let me go through their phones, not that I ever wanted to.
My wife is irl pregnant and I'm having a daughter, a few thoughts:
Get to benefit from sjws. Oop sorry my daughter got that internship/job over your son just cuz she had a vagoo XD
As long as she doesn't get knocked up early and ends up with a decent dude who cares who she fucks
Will take care of me better when I'm old
Women typically marry up and into money so I won't have to worry about her being poor as an adult
Actually if she bitches about you that's a good thing, lmao. She's thinking about you
It's not about the respect you deserve, it's about the respect you demand. Even if you're a fat fuck, don't let people walk all over you. Go it alone for awhile if you have to. Demand respect.
I disagree. Fat idiots that "demand" respect without earning it are just whiners that aren't living Red Pill . People that command and "earn" respect through their actions are what Red Pill is about.
If you truly earn respect, you never have demand it.
Hey man,
I was with a girl recently who left her boyfriend of two years for me. She was the hottest girl on campus, I am tempted to say, HB10 and I mean it. On a track scholarship, banging body, super sexy and I gamed her right. She had been in one long term relationship she says, 19 years old.
Basically started fucking her silly for four months until she broke up with her boyfriend. However, I have left the relationship broken just now. I don't even recognize myself. I look like the psycho as she is the one living happier hooking up with the very guy I said she is flirting with.
When I look at your bullet points, I asked her to not contact her ex because her and I should be given the chance to move forward without him in the picture, that didn't last long, and when her and I where in a tough time, guess who she contacted again. She is known to be a flirt, and my god did she flirt with others and love the attention from other guys. She is a model and wants everyone to know it too. I spent everything on her when we went out as well, HOWEVER, she did spend money on me as well and pay for dinners too at time. If you want more information please do have a look at my history, however, i am broken right now. This has put me into depression, put me into therapy, it's been a hell of a ride.
First indication that the OP is a 20-something college kid is that he references living with his parents like its a viable option.
Whatever this is, it gave me cancer.
Remember Nancy, you're still 23 years old with an associates degree in general business studies.
Wrong on all counts. But thanks for playing our fun little game! You want to chat about the message or just troll?
Yikes....are there really that many women like that out there? If so I am ashamed of my gender! Everything you listed are just qualities of a bad person who lacks character, relationship or not. Except for maybe the financial things: often the guy just makes more than the girl and it can't be helped. But she can always make up for it with back massages 😌
Lack of proper citation. No evidence given to back up argument.
My women is my slave
She lives to serve me at my pleasure
I take her money and beat her daily
If she insults me in front of others I beat her till she understands I can kill her at anytime, she has learned to be quite
I have bring women to my house for threesoms, if she doesn't do it I beat her
Women are property, they only live if you allow them