The Coward’s Glance
Summary: The typical beta method of attracting initial female attention is a losing proposition, and should be avoided at all cost. It should instead be replaced with confident, Alpha behavior.
A beta enters a grocery store on a routine errand. He’s not just here for a bag of finely shredded mozzarella and a six pack of overpriced “craft” beer manufactured by Budwiser under a different label; his cooter-obsessed mind turns even this day-to-day chore into a hunt for a potential mate.
As he traverses the aisles, taking the longest path possible to the dairy section so as to maximize the possibility for an oft-dreamt-of chance encounter with his one true soul mate, he spots a woman purposely browsing the coffee selection. At last! This will be the one! The extreme SMV deficit in her favor be damned!
The beta initiates a process all men universally refer to as “checking her out”. He appreciates her assets: her round bottom, her narrow waist, her ample (but not oversized!) bosom as seen from the side while she reaches into the topstock for her selection. Then, when his gaze is somewhere between her tits and her neck, the beta’s intended target sniffs the air. She smells a unique combination of misplaced enthusiasm, egregious self-overestimation, and desperation; this scent alerts her to the presence of our beta. She turns her head to find him.
This is the moment that separates a beta from an Alpha. To those readers new to Red Pill philosophy, do not be ashamed if the following describes you; it is how we have all been enculturated by this society since we were children. It is important, however, to recognize this pattern, absorb it, and examine it in a new light. As the woman turns her head to seek out the source of the offending stench, the beta will do one of two things:
The bravest of betas will avert their eyes, though not their entire gaze, and favor the woman with a smile intended to convey friendliness and approachability, though it only comes off as the macrocephalic lovechild of awkward and cringy.
Our beta, however, is a more typical beta, in that his spine is more akin to taffeta than steel. He tries to look away quickly, in an attempt to not offend his better; if he's caught treating her as an object for his sexual gratification, the International Beta Society will make him shave his neckbeard. Unfortunately, with human reaction time being what it is (and especially since 70% of his blood supply is not in his brain, but pooling in his grotesquely swollen testicles), he will never quite be quick enough. The woman will easily see his sudden, frightened movement and ken his intentions.
The beta thinks himself to be quite sneaky, and will repeat this process ad nauseum, quickly earning him the epithet of “creepy”. Not because he’s checking her out, but because his furtive, prey-like attitude is entirely disgusting.
The beta will ultimately run out of excuses to continue lamely stalking his victim, and finally acquire his hippy beer and economy bag of cheese. This beta will go home and fap to outlandish, impossible fantasies of doing naughty, shameful, sexist things to the woman whose path he crossed. A braver beta, the one who tried to smile, will sulk his way home, fuming over his perceived rejection; with one hand, he will tweet or blog about how girls are so mean to nice guys, and with the other hand, he will furiously beat his micropenis to console himself over his own immense loserdom.
Let’s examine this interaction, shall we? What was gained? What was lost?
The benefits for the woman:
- The beta’s wild-eyed antics have affirmed that she is sexually desirable,
- The beta’s aversion to being caught (or his submissive smile) has affirmed that she is indeed the superior creature, a goddess for whom care must be taken not to offend. (This sense of superiority affects not just our hapless beta, but all men who have the misfortune to enter the woman’s sphere in the immediate future. In effect, he has raised the difficulty level for any following Alpha hoping to work his magic.)
The detriments for the woman:
None. She has lost nothing, spent nothing, exchanged nothing.
The benefits for the beta:
- The privilege of catching sly glances out of the corner of his eye of assets he will never have the opportunity to touch
- A three-inch hardon.
The detriments for the beta:
- Losing up to half an hour of his life to an inevitably fruitless pursuit,
- An inescapable sense of rejection; he may not recognize it as such consciously, but his frequently-ignored lizard brain will gleefully inform him of it all the same.
- A sense of cultural shame, for behaving in such a sexist, troglodytic manner and possibly causing discomfort or fear to such a perfect goddess; he will be forced to go to Reddit and do penance for his unnecessary guilt by whiteknighting in TwoXChromosomes.
As you can see, in this interaction the beta has suffered greatly, sacrificed much of whatever is left of his dignity and self-worth in order to provide a random stranger with a head rush of power and authority. This is not good.
But what would an Alpha do? Let’s watch.
An Alpha enters the same grocery store. He seeks only to powerwalk to the fruit section, pick up a pair of kiwis and maybe a box of blueberries before striding over to dairy aisle for a pint of heavy cream. Clearly, he has plans and is not overly interested in trolling for low-hanging pomegranates. Even so, while waiting his turn to open the cooler adjacent to the milk display, he spots the same woman. As she has clearly dressed and made up herself to be on display, he peruses the goods.
He appreciates her round bottom, her narrow waist, and her ample (but not oversized!) bosom. Somewhere between her tits and her face, she senses the weight of a predator’s gaze upon her. She turns her head to seek him out.
The Alpha, however, doesn’t flinch. His eyes meet hers as she turns. He may, if he is so inclined, favor her with a half-smile of acknowledgement… or he may maintain a neutral expression, depending on his mood. What is important is that he will hold her gaze until she drops her own.
She is faced with a direct, uncompromising stare, which admits shamelessly and confidently: “Yes, I was sexually objectifying you. What of it?” The most dominant of women will hold that eye contact for a second or two; the rest will fold immediately, often with a blush, and hurry on their way.
Should the Alpha be so inclined, he might then approach her directly and engage her in small talk to begin his game. Maybe he needs another plate to spin, or perhaps his purchases are just for his own more-or-less healthy dessert after a fine meal of grass-fed steak. This Alpha, however, definitely has plans and is well-appointed for tableware. He completes his business and leaves.
In this situation, the woman gains:
- Affirmation that she is sexually desireable.
- Nothing else.
The Alpha gains:
- Affirmation that he is dominant in all such interactions
- The opportunity to begin working his game, should he so chose
- Confidence in future encounters with women in neutral territory.
What does the Alpha lose? Not a damn thing.
For a beta who wishes to begin his journey towards Alpha status, this is the easiest way to change his behavior from sycophantic to self-assured. The opportunity to practice occurs frequently, there are no potential social repercussions, it builds confidence, and costs nothing.
That’s not to say it’s easy. Men have been trained in this society to defer to women, to avoid at all costs taking actions they might perceive as “threatening” or “creepy”, and to at all times allow them to dictate the terms of any interaction in everyday spaces. It can be hard to subsume the impulse to break eye contact first, to give her the dominant position, to allow her to reject you wordlessly and effortlessly like the worm you’ve been told you are. But hold fast. Practice. The first time you succeed will produce a rush of the kind you’ve likely never before experienced.
Conclusion: Practice the Alpha’s gaze at every opportunity, and drop the Coward’s Glace like an an ant-covered ham salad sandwich. You’ll thank yourself soon enough.
Eye contact is easily the hardest thing I've ever worked on in my life.
As a kid my family watched tv while eating, never really socialized that much honestly. I find myself gazing off in the distance while talking to people. When I make eye contact with anyone it feels like I'm staring at the sun.
For home practice there are YouTube videos for practicing eye contact with people. Some of them are of attractive women literally just looking at the camera for five minutes. Good starter practice for newbies.
Of course, it's always better to actually go out there into the real world to practice this stuff with real people.
This resonates with me. My dad's as beta as they come and I realized just now, he's never made eye contact with me. I use eye contact as a tool, with fellow men it increases trust, with women it shows dominance. But it took me probably 8-12 months of working on it everyday to break the bad habits my parents raised me with.
Heuristic: if you don't remember what color their eyes are, you probably didn't make enough eye contact.
My dad is a businessman. Most alpha man I know. Needless to say, I have been looking everyone in the eye since i was very young. He told me, that if people are looking at you, but not looking in your eyes, they are not paying attention. A different way of looking at it, and I want people to pay attention when i talked, so I do it to everyone. Its actually not that hard, its the intensity that you have to control.
Could you elaborate more on intensity? I'm not great with eye contact yet but I get the feeling I do it too intensely
Think about it. Just look like you give a shit. This applies when talking to men. An eye contact with a man will look as you are paying attention. Only when they talk tho otherwise is can get odd.
With women, you have to play it by scenario. You are in a meeting and you both keep smiling at each other? A relaxed eye contact with a closed lip smile will work wonders. At the club, and she is eye fucking you? this is a little more primal, so is a little easier, so basically think of looking at her with no emotion. Just as a physical entity.
When you are looking away, and she is looking at you. Example, you are with your friends laughing out loud. The closed lip cheeky smile does not work here. But when you make eye contact with her it works. These are only small things that I can say.
Always, Always, Always be smiling tho. Its like the focus of pizza might be the cheese tomato sauce and bread, but noticing the herbs on top is the (smile) part. Your smile is what will turn creepy into attractive. If you dont know how to smile, practice that.
I've been there, friend. Most of us have. There are very few natural born alphas in this society, and even fewer who stay that way into adulthood.
Keep practicing, keep self-improving. Acknowledge your failures and mistakes, but don't let them rule you.
you too huh...? I can't even look MYSELF in the mirror for fuck sake.
oh well... back to my ove rpriced craft beer and cheese ( i have NO i dea how these 2 times go together lol)
One of the things that helped me was that you don't need to be either directly looking into their eyes or completely a different direction. But to shorten the distance between eye contact and non eye contact.
Fucking trade me, when I look into people's eyes by default they usually look away. Impossible to have a conversation
I was personally guilty of quickly looking away when seeing an attractive woman anywhere. It was part of my BP conditioning and it is ingrained in my subconscious behavior. I've been aware of this since swallowing TRP and have been actively, consciously correcting my body-language to not shy-away.
I still shy-away on days when I'm not feeling too confident for whatever reason (feeling unhealthy or not dressed well that day). I don't do this purposely - it's just part of my subconscious behavior.
Being aware of my own subconscious behavior is a motivator for me to stay on top of my game. If I miss a workout, eat fast food, don't get enough sleep, or do anything else that immediately effects my health, I know that I will be unprepared to successfully conquer the next day.
Thank you for articulating this specific type of behavior and explicitly labeling it as BP.
I noticed I get it a lot during lows in the anger phase (which I've found comes back in waves). I get angry at attractive women and attractive couples, I avert my gaze more out of jealous anger. Trying hard to not wallow to excess in low periods and be a bit more positive.
A good point you make is concerning your feeling of confidence. While we can't always "be at our best", if you have a good morning routine... Wake up, meditate, eat a healthy breakfast, read a little, then go to the gym... There's NO WAY you won't feel great after that.
Plus when all is said and done, by 8AM you've accomplished more than most people do in their entire day.
The important takeaway from this is that it's consequence-free. God forbid any beta actually approach, which could serve up an actual rejection in response to an actual advance. This is an actual baby step that can be taken immediately by anyone who isn't outright physically repulsive.
And if you see them again and want to approach, you can use the old "do I know you from somewhere?" and it'll work, you've got a conversation starter right off the bat.
i tried "do i know you? or do all Belgians just look the same?" last night
she laughed and said she was from France (i wasn't being clever. legit thought she looked Belgian)
nothing bad happened. we talked for a bit, laughed, and then i ran off to buy some heavy cream
Sick post. Very, very true.
I find that women who catch you staring will snap look away for a second, then look back. I maintain the laser vision the whole time so when she turns back I'm still looking.
I didn't think this would make much of a difference until one day a plate told me how the first time we saw each other across the room, I did this and it made her feel all funny inside. Opened her and the rest was history.
Holding that initial stare communicates so much with so little. It says you are confident, you notice her, you don't care that you are staring, that she is worth being looked at. I can second your experience with having women become immediately receptive and interested after opening with this kind of encounter.
I think for those following along it should be said that staring at women should include a smile or something warm in it
Not even, I have a stare that probably says "what tf you looking at at?". They still dig that shit.
less warlike more come hither, daddy has a surprise for you
Yes, warlike. Smile has too many connotations with it. The masculine self assured grin is more apt.
That was really insightful... excellent.
The beta's brain is simply overwhelmed by the excitement and he basically panics upon the sight of a woman. It all goes downhill from there.
Just "holding your own" and not overreacting is most of the battle.
Which, in my mind, goes back to the one statistic that matters: number of approaches.
Everything I read tells me that this is the only thing that matters for success in the sexual game.
You need another edge besides persistence, trust me. Me and my good friend would shamelessly approach and talk to most eligible-looking women, but had no personality or social awareness to speak of. I don't know how many times I personally saw him get rejected, upwards of 50. I'd tell him basic game ideas, but he never got beyond the "I want to fuck you but don't know how to escalate" lingering bullshit. Eventually he had to whore his provider status out on OKC just to get dates with women. Now he is engaged to someone who will surely roll on him once his bank account is fat enough.
Numbers just give you more opportunities to play your strengths.
Also, what kinda techno you into? I'm currently scrounging for old school detroit and new york shit, it's awfully fun.
I adore the European stuff. Germans, of course, newstyle dark stuff. That's what I am into.
But then, I also get down to Martinez Bros style Tech House, and Deep Tech like Ame when the mood is right. Pretty much all of it, but if I were forced to pick, then this sort of stuff.
Man I fuckin LOVE Anna from Brazil. Tech house shit is the best. Let's be friends.
On you and your bud, I can see what you are saying. It might just be that I was getting excited about overcoming approach anxiety that I thought that this was all there was to it. In my mind, I thought that as you approach more and more, you would naturally ingrain what works and discard what doesn't.
Practice makes perfect.
But you do need to learn from your mistakes... if you don't you will not gain much.
How many guys would continue to fail badly if there was no learning?
You almost need the improvement just to keep going.
The hope is that improvement will yield rewards eventually... and at some point they normally do.
How can you say this as a RP man? Wouldn't this be the most basic level scratching of the surface for someone trying to change?
It's the starting point.
Let me give you a little history lesson...
The word "gai" came from:
The opposite of "gai" (which eventually became the word "gay") would be "stoic".
A masculine man is the opposite of the "flighty" nature of a beta male.
The beta male is fixated on his "Feelz" and can't handle the thrill of seeing a woman.
Your first task is to "Kill the Beta" or "Remove the Gay" from your personality.
If you give the high pitched gay vibe and are making sudden movements that is felt by a woman as not being stoic and masculine.
Be like a rock.
I wish I wrote this well. Wtf
Remember: non-sexy staring smiling dude is a creep.
This. 2 different people can do the exact same thing. That's why we lift and work on being attractive.
There was a very practical assignment from back in the PUA newsgroup days.
When walking down the street crossing path with women. Look at them hold their gaze until they look back, then smile. The smile has to be natural. Do it until 50% of the women smioes back.
I was skinny, had bad hair and I was not hot, but I did it. My roomate at the time was flabbergasted at how many random women on the street would say hi to me even though he believes my SMV was lower than him. (Which was probably true).
The trick is in figuring out what the natural way of smiling is.
Small smile, closed mouth, and reaching the eyes. Think about how you smile when you see something slightly funny, not enough to you laugh or scrunch up your face, but funny enough that you might laugh a little to yourself.
That's as best I can describe it.
Watch suits, and see how harvey specter smiles when he is right (which is a lot). This is as close to what you want as possible.
Ha! Spot-on analysis! The Alpha Male is a lion; the rest are either prey or are there to serve.
This is why I keep coming back here...good practical advice like this.
Same. I've been browsing only a few months, but I continuously get spot on material.
Stalk women, eye bang them, make them feel uncomfortable, leave with steak?
Boil this post down to:
"Just talk to woman. They are just people. If you are rejected (and you will be sometimes/often), you aren't too invested so it is not such a big deal. Use what you have learned next time to talk to women."
Alpha Gaze makes you sound like a crazy asshole. Staring at people, women OR men, is weird.
LMAO, you have to assert dominance before hand. Show them you're not a beta
If you piss on their leg while staring at them, they will know who is boss.
Ahhhh, right, right, right. Show them you're Better, not Beta, right?
True indeed senior Wowtrousers but but your version isn't as entertaining, funny, memorable or enjoyable to read. Sometimes people on this sub take everything too literally.
I think people need to feel there is some foolpoof plan or checklist that is guaranteed to work. It doesn't happen like that and anyone telling you otherwise is full of shit.
There is no checklist. Just don't be ashamed of your actions. I've been caught staring at a very delicious asses before. I wasn't even staring as part of the beta mating ritual as described by OP. I just sincerely thought they were wonderful asses. Definitely munchable and I'm not one much for face sitting. You don't like it? Fuck off.
And thus the list of successful pickups after getting caught:
1- I've gotten all I'm going to get out of it just by looking at it.
2- I've decided to name it Grabirella
3- I think I lost my keys in there. Well, ok, I think I'd like to lose my keys in there.
Last one got me punched and fucked. You are completely missing the point of posts like this. Courage. Assertion. Action.
I think it makes sense...if she stays locked into eye contact just say Hi, how are you? ...then engage her or just move on....I think the point is that you are seeing her, not staring at her.
As you practice and improve in this, are you able to identify a difference between their reaction being interested vs not interested? Is it a subtle difference/No difference/Easily identifiable to a trained eye?
I want to work this into my daily life, but the whole transaction happens so quickly (2 seconds maybe?) I'm not sure if I'm missing something or not...
This is my own experience, so take it for what it's worth..
It doesn't matter.
Just like it's a rookie move to walk into a business establishment and ask "Are you hiring?" instead of saying "I'd like an application", trying to establish a level of interest in a glance and making the call based on it (or the lack thereof) is setting yourself up for failure.
A business is always hiring if your application is good, but never hiring if you leave without one. A woman is always interested if your game is good, but never interested if you doubt yourself and walk away.
That's a brilliant analogy! I never thought about it like that. I have confidence in myself but always hesitate bc I rationalize that she doesn't want to be bothered. However, if you are offering value she will always be interested.
Your analogy made me think of a salesman as well; any salesman but specifically a door to door one. People aren't sitting at home thinking they need a new HVAC system or new set of knives and if you go up and ring the doorbell and ask them if they need new steak knives they'll say no. However, if you go up with full belief that you have the best steak knives and they will add value to the buyers life. You will make sales!
Did you learn all of this in the last 13 days? you are accomplished.
Men who are ashamed of their sexuality avert their eyes at the gaze of a woman because they are afraid that they've been discovered. As if being an animal were some terrible secret they were hiding.
People revel in being animals. Though we would seldom admit it, there is nothing that gives us more pleasure. It is what we are, what we are built for.
You cannot change what you are. Your only choices are shame or acceptance, and only one of those admits pleasure.
Good post, OP.
Holy smokes, I love heavy cream.....fuck pints, I get it by the half gallon.
amateur. I go to the specialized gas stations with heavy cream. Fill up my tank with 15 gallons of heavy cream, and I've got enough for a day.
Slacker.
I keep a cow on my apartment's patio and I have a HB15.5 Swedish 20 y/o gf with DDD tits and a 20 in waist who milks the cow every morning after milking my 15 inch cock.
This reminds of me what I can aspire to be. You are a true alpha
The visual is better than porn. When will this erection go away? No homo.
How do you retrain the looking away reaction?
I got caught checking out a girl on accident and when I looked further up she was smiling at me. I looked away hurriedly and instantly thought to myself, "fuck, I should've smiled back." I felt her attraction just dive and didn't get any acknowledgement from her when I saw her later
Practice makes perfect.
Don't think of a missed eye contact opportunity as a failure. Think of it as practice, but without the best form. Just like lifting. Lift again, and concentrate on your form. Eventually, it'll be second-nature.
Not only was that insightful and well thought out and articulated, but your goddamn humor made me laugh out loud on several occasions. Great advice that anyone can immediately start practicing and applying. I look forward to your future contributions!
Really good post, I forgot the importance of the eye-fuck. I recall in my more alpha days I would literally scan the room, making eye contact with everyone; If I met another alpha, it was always a mutual head nod in respect, for the betas, they would look at the floor, for the women, they would blush and either try and flirt back or nervously look away. Good post.
same here, its like a unspoken thing that when men see another real man they nod. do it in the gym too, except theres always those random imaginary lat syndrome guys who try way to hard to amog lol
Hahaha I love ILS guys. But seriously, ILS is a debilitating condition that affects millions; there is no cure. :D
I used to eye fuck girls constantly when I was small, then puberty hit me hard. Now I blush at guys
one thing:
Praxeology.
Praxeology (/ˌpræksiˈɒlədʒi/; from Ancient Greek πρᾶξις (praxis), meaning 'deed, action', and -λογία (-logia), meaning 'study of') is the deductive study of human action, based on the notion that humans engage in purposeful behavior, as opposed to reflexive behavior like sneezing and inanimate behavior.[1] According to its theorists, with the action axiom as the starting point, it is possible to draw conclusions about human behavior that are both objective and universal. For example, the notion that humans engage in acts of choice implies that they have preferences, and this must be true for anyone who exhibits intentional behavior.
Fascinating! You have just shot my free time this evening; there is research to be done!
Theredpillroom.blogspot.com
I love this article. But my anxiety makes me think straight to the idea of "What if she gets mad that I'm treating her as a sexual object?" and what if she goes and tell her partner that "this guy" was obviously checking her out.
Or does an Alpha simply not give AF
That's not a rhetorical question. Really ask: "What if she gets mad and tells her mate?"
What if?
Is he really going to punch you in the face for making eye contact? Well, I suppose that's a theoretical possibility, but it's not especially likely. Many other outcomes are far more probable.
Your fear is not proportional to the likelihood of the proposed event. Just remind yourself of that as often as it takes.
Yeah, good point, i guess it technically possible, but not very likely. Just my anxiety speaking lol.
after the 3rd, 4th, and 5th girl smiles back, you aren't going to care about any perceived theoretical danger.
Whoa! I like your mindset!
Dude what could you possibly have to lose? What, she won't "like" you? First of all she doesn't know what she fucking likes, and secondly, let's say she really DOES decide you're a total creep... so what? How does that impact your day? You're still getting your groceries and going home. The sky will still be blue. The sun will still set in the west.
Great mindset actually, thanks for the advice
why would you give a fuck. why does what she thinks even matter? from your perspective you'll either fuck or not.
I'm an extremely low status male, and what I do to get a chuckle is, when richer females look at me with disgust upon saying hi I openly and loudly tell them to fuck off/go to hell right then and walk away.
usually they are so surprised I even had the balls to talk down to them that its totally worth it as a power trip, even in complete failure
if they don't like you or your approach, you'll never speak again, so why care???
unless you do something so stupid it gets on the evening news, nobody will ever think of it again.
Older guy here who's been through the process on his own many years ago. Here's a tip: When you look at a woman you have a certain amount of time. Too long and you're a creep, too little and you're a beta. An easy way to both count and make it count is to look her squarely in the eyes, and say to yourself (slowly) "you are mine..." and look away. Even the most self-conscious can do this.
Very few failures to report.
Great writing. I have a question though. Since I recognized the importance of eye contact, I try to hold it until the other withdraws. With men, it usually works out and gives a power vibe to you. However, and this happens a lot with women more than men, the other person also holds the gaze. After several seconds you quickly realize that both sides internally think about holding their gazes, because it becomes unnaturally long, and when you recognize it; it becomes super awkward like a dominance competition.
What do you do when the other keeps holding his/ her gaze more than a couple seconds and keep looking into your eyes intentionally?
I just thought about this and saying something like "You'd probably do great at a staring contest" would be my go to. That or breaking the ice with a simple slow, warm smile and a slow and low pitched "Hey, how's it going?". The point is to not break frame
Okay but I do not mean just the initial encounter. It happens always. Let's say you make some hand gestures or change the topic or anything else, will you cut the glance at that point? I know how to proceed with conversations and so on, I just do not know what to do with holding the gaze.
Keep holding it as long as they let you.
My notes aren't handy, but a common component of a "lonely hearts"(?) scam involved "soul gazing"; staring intensely into the mark's eyes for an extended period of time can create genuine (if temporary) feelings of affection in the mark. I think the time specified was two minutes?
Or maybe I just saw that on TV. In either case, it's worth a shot!
I somehow got to think about the ending of Batman, the dark knight rises.
----SPOILER----
When Alfred goes to France just to see Bruce sitting their with a hot chick. And their glace meet eachother and Bruce bring forth a small smile and SLOWLY (important) turn his head (down in this case, but to the sides would be better) like he is acknowledged the person.
Or like Leo in Django Unchained, https://giphy.com/gifs/ILW1fbJHW0Ndm Like that, but SLOWLY like an acknowledged
This is an important and fundamental skill. Great post. Never look away and if their worth it give them a devilish half smile. Shit I've winked at bitches who caught my eyes while checking them out. Most times they love the confidence it shows.
A reminder: eye contact is great, but be sure you switch eyes, and blink occasionally. Personally, I move my focus amongst any of the following: left eye, right eye, left cheekbone, right cheekbone, chin, nose tip. These foci are supplemented by brief glances away from whomever I'm talking to: behind, above, at whatever is in my hands/cart, or towards the direction of a recent noise or flashy action. Just away, so neither of us feel like I'm staring into their soul. All of these give the impression that you're listening (you should be actually listening to what they say, not just hearing it, by the way) without coming off as staring, creepy, or too intense.
This is a very good and well-written post. Thank you.
This is a real gem of advice. I've thought about how I and most people do this in daily life. Gonna make a habit of not turning my gaze when she looks my way. Great post!
I ued to listen to advice like this and think that no, it's just a habit and it has no roots in any kind of subconscious submissiveness. That is, until I actually realized I have trouble looking some of my higher ups in the eye.
DO NOT think that the subtle implications of looking away, as mentioned in this post, are fake. They are most definitely very real.
"Were you looking at my Ass!"
"Yep"
"No, did you want me to?"
Great post. This was one of the first things I internalized with TRP... just own up to the fact that you're checking the girl out and be confident about it.
This had me rolling. I live in a city full of these types of snooty hipsters that love to go on and on about their 'superior' quadruple-hopped with hints of nuts and berries... all while making grimacing faces as they pretend to enjoy it to fit in. Don't get me started on those bars that claim to have a great beer selection, only to have 10 IPAs on tap and nothing else.
Haha, big fan of craft beers over here. Where I live not many are into it, but man give me a nice IPA or red and I'm in heaven. Are your tastebuds really that old?
It's not about taste buds. It's about snowflakes trying to signal how unique they are, because they've been programmed that some day a woman will like him for his personality if he's nice.
That is a pretty broad stroke to paint an entire industry. I do not generally care for beer (more of a bourbon fella) but McMenamins in Portland and in Eugene have a lot of really good stuff. I am sure there is a level of hipster douchism but I think mostly people like their bars hotels and restaurants.
Just painting an immature boy, not an industry.
Like I said there are some hipster Douches that are into it. you were right about wanting to be seen with a unique drink, if you are focused on other people and need them to validate your drink you are a hipster douche bag. there are those that drink what they drink cause they do.
Yeah, that's it. A man is his own judge and can drink whichever beer he chooses. I totally get that people enjoy IPA's, I just don't enjoy the beer evangelizing and the snooty attitude. I'll happily drink my shitty High Life.
There are so many more (and better, IMO) styles of craft beer than IPAs out there.
I love the ruby from McMenamins
Not familiar with them, but I'll certainly check out their beers.
Not sure if it available away from their restaurants and bars.
This reminds me of one plate I had back when I began working on my frame few years or so ago. I had until that time spent a good year working on killing some beta tendencies and taking a strong stance about not falling into a needy beta state.
I had gone to a party a mutual friend was throwing. At the time I was enjoying myself. Talking to others and good display of social proof. At the time I would look around, it became quite apparent to me that I was getting looks from across the room from this individual.
I caught her multiple times staring at me and I just gaze back each time. I found it annoying at the time and thought "What the hell do you want?"
Later on I had approached. She had her hamster in full spin. Taking the time to blame ME for staring at her when I literally would catch her every time. I didn't apologize and told her no that I had noticed her looking at me. Any other time prior I'd just keep to myself and avoid. Holding your glance is important as it's an easy test of frame and confidence. Don't fail their shit test if you catch them staring.
Another thing to add regarding beta vs alpha is the matter of perception. My old beta tendencies would sense someone staring and I'd want to likely go find another room from sensory overload. Clearing out all the beta needy distractions you can become very laser focused on this. It does feel more of threat and can put you into action, even aggressively if another male is staring you down.
Why were you so angry at her?
She was basically ready to fuck you if you said the right thing, and yiu instead got annoyed at her for blaming you?
I did in the end fuck her. That being said it's not what I said but how. I didn't show her or use a tone that I was annoyed but I wasn't used to that type of attention during that phase. I just didn't let her put it on me when it wasn't necessary
I think looks determine 90% of this turning out positively or negatively, if you are good looking you can do thos creepy shit and she will endure if you are average then is 50/50 if you are below average its definitely just creepy regardless of your attitude
Relative to her attractiveness maybe
I would just like to say this was fantastically written. Loved the Natural Geographic touch.
And it's also 100% true.
I liked the post a lot but dude I love my fucking IPA craft beers. And naw I'm not talking about Sam Adams I'm talking real fucking 7% IPA. Don't you shit on my IPAs bro, that's my god damned nectar of the gods.
Well i would say your talking about a good mead!
FYI BREAKING NEWS: Roger Ailes, founder of Fox News, passed away this morning (RIP). The hot bitches on the FN morning show were coming unglued and crying this morning about this.
I know this may sound sick, but crying women make me so horny! This was better than porn.
upvote for the lol, wtf? factor
Lift and this shit comes naturally.
Have to disagree. I've been lifting most of my life and have a pretty good physique from it, I'm a good looking guy, but I've always been shy and introverted. Eye contact does not come natural to me. This post motivated me to practice.
This is a great post.
Kiwis seem more "bro territory" than "alpha" though ;)
Duly noted! I shall adjust all future parables accordingly. [If I didn't have a personal embargo on smilies, I'd insert one here]
This is a really great post. You should make more like this using other examples of behavior to work on.
Some Beta's like ants though.
This is what it means to work on your "don't give a fuck." It's legitimately hard to do, but not caring what women think about you is key to getting women to want to fuck you.
Thanks for the reminder. Real world benefits were gained today as a result. Did it, and approached her when I was done with what I was doing. Booked date, went my own way, met up a few hours later... rest is history.
Bravo! Very well written, and I experienced this today at work in the hallway. We have a massage lady who gives 15 min massages for employees. I'm just punching in and going to my department when our eyes meet. I do not fold. I just keep my eyes focused and waiting for her to drop eye contact first. She does and then tells me I have a great walk. I tell her its the way I always walk, and keep on my route to my department. I was not interested, but it was fun to see her break and then complement me. Ha!
This a great thread... I always keep eye contact with girls that I like, when I'm tired or don't have nothing to do ,I just do that for fun... It's like a smartphone game for me. On the metro, train or bus that I take most of the days: I see most of the guys costantly checking their goddamn facebook, instagram etc... I want to speak to these guys: just close that fuckin social network crap , unless it's important to you for some reason (subconscious), see if there is a good chick close to you and start doing the "gaze game"... Many women are emotionally attracted to this shit: just don't be creepy, 1)look around while you see if she is looking at you 2)look in her eyes then if she keeps eye contact hold it 3) if she turns her head, just turn yours too and stop looking her ( remember to don't be a stare creep) 4)give her another try, if she looks you in the eyes again it's a good signal... 5) Last but not on importance, never be a stare creep. Repeat all the steps above. If you are ugly this will not work. But if you are just an average looking guy, you'll get a lot of attention that you never got before from women... Trust ,me I'm not so hot (just average with a good gym body) but I've tried this many times and I can tell you that it works
I don't think that smiling is beta. You can smile transmitting confidence.
Get out of the anger phase man.. wtf did i just read. Micropenis? 3 inch hardon? Fuck get a therapist please
Great post! I'm going to be working on my eye contact from now on.
Thanks quality post. It's with stuff like this though that I think: there are so many aspects of a succesfull life. How do you remember to do all those things. Maybe we should make an expanded MAP male attraction plan where all these little aspects are laid out over a timeline to learn with deadlines etc. For new redpillers and old ones to practice the basics.
Looking men in the eyes is a good first step.
What about at work? I'm sitting in the break room alone, and the same situation plays out. What about then? Same shit is my guess.
I do this all the time, autistically avoiding eye-contact.
Fortunately I somehow learned by my own intuition, a long time ago, that women find confident eye-contact attractive so I've been able to use that to my benefit but only when actively preparing to do so. If I remember to maintain eye-contact it can go well, or not but w.e nothing to lose.
So far it's been great although now I'm in an LTR so I can default to autistically making confident eye-contact with the ground most of the time.
This is the cringiest shit I've read on here in a long, long time. Congrats.
So your advice is to walk into a grocery store, happen upon a woman and stare her down until she feels uncomfortable and attempts to walk away. At which point you can deign to bless the female with your presence.
What has happened to this sub.
Are you retarded or is it just your hobby?! OP is talking to guys who struggle to even make eye contact, not the other way around. Any one taking posts like this one too seriously and applying them to the letter is an idiot. You always calibrate in your approaches. I do interviews for tech events, and you cannot imagine how effective is to approach women with a natural smile and a straight look in the eye. I approached one day a Russian blonde, with a bitch resting face who would scare the frigging crowds in the fields, with a smile and a joke, she switched to a great conversationalist instantly. IMO, if you approach in a non threatening way but confident and straightforward, like you just go talk to a friend, women will respond greatly, even if they shut u down. I have been shut down many times, but always they did it in a nice way.
Some of you write like you're writing Mein Kempf.
Just visiting this subreddit...so bear with me?
So reading this, it's pretty clear that fundamentally, I've pretty much been an alpha my whole life. . . but a slightly more cunning one than what's described above.
I always KNOW when I'm hungry. And when I'm hungry, I plan to eat. So yes, I have "plans" when I'm in the supermarket, but I'm also there to hunt. And if that means another traverse or two across the aisles to spot potential prey, so be it.
And while I also tend to maintain eye contact, I will vary my approach based on my assessment of the target. Sometimes it's highly effective to be the one who feigns blushing and breaks eye contact -- can charm a gal -- just remember to seconds later reestablish eye contact. That way, I've given her the message that I really think she's a catch, but yeah, I am dominant nonetheless.
And forgive me for disagreeing, no matter who's brewing them, IPAs are great! (Voodoo Ranger Imperial is one of my favorites.)
I too go to the supermarket to hunt
Women are everywhere.
And if you know how to charm them...you can charm them!
You also cannot be afraid to strike out.
As I used to tell my friends back in my single 70's and early 80's...he who hesitates, masturbates.
In other words, you are a predator?
Chris Hansen here, why don't you take a seat?
You see Chris Hansen, I call you Chris Handsome. Now I like ya and I want ya, so we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours.
80,000 words here to explain the difference between those who attract more people and those who frequently get rejected.
Be confident. Be attractive. It helps to be both. But one usually is enough. There you go, I just saved you some word vomit.
Dont follow this guide to the letter - you have to calibrate. Getting into a staring contest with a woman or staring her down if you will is a good way to get arrested. Nor is it sexy.
What is more effective, is to make eye contact, quick warm smile, and get back to what you were doing. After a few minutes, repeat and if you receive positive IOI's, move over and engage. This way is sexy while the other way makes you look autistic.