My 3 step guide to an awesome first approach.

Reddit View
June 17, 2017

I see a lot of posts asking how to chat up hot women, and I thought I would write up a quick 'how to' guide with step by step instructions on how to get good at chatting up hotties.

TL;DR: Your approach sucks because you apply game. Don't game your approach and your approach game will improve.

The life of a hotty is a nonstop barrage of drooling incels hoping that by stammering 'You are pretty' they can somehow get her to touch their virgin dicks.

Meanwhile the life of the average incel goes days, weeks, and years without ever talking to a hotty, so when the chance finally avails itself, stammering is the best they can do.

Nobody ever stammers when they talk to an incel. The incel has nothing they want. They incel is uninteresting.

But the hotty has something everyone wants. Just her presence is a blessing for sore eyes. But what is interesting is her looks. Nobody cares if she won a Nobel Prize. 'You are pretty' is all she gets all day, every day. Just once she'd like to noticed for something else, or even flat ignored. Can't even go to the grocery store without getting some slackjaw drooling at her from the produce aisle.

How do you distinguish yourself from the crowd?

You need to find out what is interesting about her. Doesn't matter if you think it is interesting, SHE does.

Easier said than done, BIllee Boyee!

True that. Now I will teach you how to do it.

Step 1. Learn to find ugly people interesting. Fact is, ugly people are more interesting. They haven't spent their life getting everything served to them on a silver platter.

To do this, you need to chat up ugly people. That old guy who you see on the bench every Tuesday. feeding the ducks? Turns out he is a decorated pilot from the Korean War who marched with Dr King at Selma, saw the Beatles AND Led Zeppelin in concert, and raised 5 kids working as a beat cop for 40 years. He's more interesting than any of your contemporaries. He's sitting on a park bench right now, with nobody to talk to. Your conversation starts like this..." Pardon me, sir, my phone battery has died, do you have the time?" No matter what time he says it is you say, relieved, "Whew! Sweet. I've still got ten minutes..."

Next time you are at the mall to try to game hotties, try finding an ugly woman. Doesn't matter who, she can even be pushing a baby stroller with her husband. Your conversation starts with 'Pardon me, guys, I'm looking for a birthday present for my girlfriend, and she would just LOVE your (name accessory here). Did you get that here at the mall?"

This plays several games at once. By mentioning the girlfriend you become 'safe' - not hitting on her. By complimenting her accessory you are (by proxy) complimenting her good taste. The boots are nice, but it was HER CHOICE of boots that you are complimenting.

Turns out ugly lady is on a trip to the mall taking a break from caring for her sick grandmother, who requires constant care. When Grandmas doesn't need her any longer she's going back to being a hotshot, fighting wildfires in Arizona and California. Cuz ugly chick is cooler than you or I will ever be. And she's way cooler than the hotty across the way snapchatting selfies of herself in front of Victoria's Secret posters.

You don't want to sleep with Old Dude or Ugly Chick. It never crosses anyones mind. You are just a friendly guy on an unrelated mission with a few minutes to chat. Everyone is enriched by your interaction.

Now you chat up everyone you end up near. Supermarket checkout guy? Chat him up while he rings you up. You may not learn much in 30 seconds, but it's time to set up and knock down a joke or two. Do it right and you can pull in the person behind you in line into the conversation too.

Self conscious? Who fucking cares. Sometimes people need to know what time it is and it's okay to politely ask strangers. The checkout person is a captive audience. ringing up groceries for hours asking 'Did you find everything you need' over and over is soul crushing. Answering with 'You guys don't carry IQ, but besides that, yes." will make their day.

Now the Big Secret.

Chatting up ugly people, and chatting up hotties is THE SAME THING.

Once you have practiced a few harmless openers and gotten the hang of friendly banter it's time to move up to step 2.

Step 2. Try your harmless banter on hotties- then walk away.

The challenge in hitting up hotties is they can smell game from a mile off. It's instinct and it's uncanny. And they get tons of practice as guys game them day in and day out.

You are going to try the 'gift for my girlfriend' gambit on a gaggle of hotties. Same exact approach. "Pardon me guys, I'm looking for a birthday gift for my girlfriend she would LOVE that (accessory), did you get it here at the mall?"

You are gaming the FUCK out of them, but your intention is to walk away. "I have a girlfriend"- preselection. "I buy her gifts" - you have resources. "Your (accessory) is cool"- you value her unique opinion and taste. She is special for something other than her looks "Thanks ladies, have a great day!" - abundance, IDGAF mentality.

There are endless gaggles of wenches at the mall, you can practice all day, every day. If your intention is 'applying game to get in their pants', you will have less than stellar results. If your intention is 'learning to chat people up, then walking away', you will do fine.

Step 3: Find out something interesting about a hotty at the mall. Now you have the tools, you need to step up to the real deal. Chatting up hotties, gaming them, and never letting them know they are being gamed, because your intention is still to walk away. It takes that whiff of desperation out of the conversation. Women's 'no' instincts are assuaged because you are not stepping on the gas.

You may have trouble disceovering anything interesting about hotties, as snapchatting selfies with their guacomole brunch is often as deep as they get, but try. Then walk away.

Now you have it. All the tools.

Now you can go to the mall with the intention of getting numbers. Your naturally inquisitive and gregarous nature (Sure it's all an act.... Or is it?) means you can chat with anyone, from the homeless guy to the pornstar.

Once they have told you about their love of deep sea mountaineering or mudshark wrestling, getting their contact info is easy. It's still a numbers game, you will still have to chat up lots of people to find the one who wants to fuck you. You still need to be the best you that you can be- lift, dress well, groom, read, etc, but your approach game will be solid if you can ungame your approach.

Post Information
Title My 3 step guide to an awesome first approach.
Author Billee_Boyee
Upvotes 841
Comments 117
Date 17 June 2017 02:23 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
abundanceincelliftgamethe red pillpreselection

[–]showerdudes99180 points181 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks. TRP needs much more stuff like this, the really step 1/beginner steps for those of us who aren't even close to dating women yet for various reasons

[–]pong28120 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Username checks out!

Like the post said, just practice practice practice!

[–]1021179910761 points62 points  (0 children) | Copy

What truly changed my outlook was reading "How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie" and a small book called "Its not all about me by Robin Dreeke".

The principles you outline are textbook on how to build rapport with anyone.

Be interested in others
Disqualify yourself (I have a gf)
Time constraint (leave)

It's good practice to sometimes not try to get girls but practice your rapport building skills.

[–]thismightnotbetaken191 points192 points  (74 children) | Copy

Good beginner guide.

  1. Notice how he uses the term "guys" instead of "gals" to refer to a group of girls? It instantly knocks them off their pussy pedestal for he being the approacher doesn't even notice their sexuality, to him they are the same as his guy friends. This gives off tremendous abundance mentality.

  2. Always remember when you're gaming girls that there is a high chance that they're gaming you in turn by pretending to be gamed by you. So just take it lightly. Be in it for your pleasure, for the laughs and consider it to be a journey you're on where she gets to tag along. Amused mastery is the key.

Onwards and upwards brothers.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (57 children) | Copy

they're gaming you in turn by pretending to be gamed by you.

Why do they do this? To what end? What's up with this?

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

get shit out of you. gifts, dinner, drinks, trips, rides, dates that lead to nowhere.

a girl with good game can live her whole life doing fuck all and amass more wealth than a dude cranks out at the corporate ladder

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

...i employ those girls as my sales team. they regularly sell 4-5x as much as a guy with a fraction of the effort.

abuse the system, don't fight it

[–]insoucianc6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Exactly. Sex sells because most guys are dumb and desperate enough to pay for just about any modicum of female attention, however perfidious.

[–]formulaNoFap1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Strong SAT verbal score here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

White knights are designed to be exploited. May as well do like a pimp and use the proper tools to do it.

Replace pimp with government if you want, lol.

[–]gbBaku0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It actually works? Holy hell I am so annoyed when woman try to sell stuff being conscious about this. Especially when they are being forceful. I'm not a bad looking guy, but if hot girls are being pushy, I know something's up.

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

The good ones aren't pushy. They use your natural instinct to demonstrate power or control of resources in front of her.

Sometimes that means strategically placing girls in the sales cycle and having them tether the deal to their ego

[–]gbBaku0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sometimes that means strategically placing girls in the sales cycle and having them tether the deal to your ego

That's what I meant. I'm surprised it works, because it doesn't for me, and haven't heart stories of this yet. Also you don't encounter this often.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

a girl with good game

I'm curious...Where do girls learn girl game? Do they have books for that? Or do they have a subreddit even? You would think that girl game would be a well-established art/science just like PUA...

[–]jayj5915 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not being systematically shamed in western society the way PUA or even masculinity is. They see early on that older women do it, then see the results for themselves around middle school. These are both meet with resounding "You go girl!" There is no subreddit because its everywhere else.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset by this. My comment makes it seem that way, but this is honestly just what I've observed.

[–]Ivan_AwsomeTool2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are trained by their mothers. They see how their mothers work their fathers. This is in addition seeing how other women do things to advance themselves.

[–]harsha_hs3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Subreddit? Why? Watch TV, read posts on social media. Blue pill conditioning is everywhere.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're right. BP conditioning is everywhere. I was talking about how they learn girl game, though.

BP conditioning certainly makes men easier targets for girl game but I don't see how it eactly teaches them how to master girl game.

[–]harsha_hs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They don't need to game. Just say 'yes' or 'no' as per their convenience. There are hundreds of men dancing for them

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

Most ones I have found to be the best don't even think about it. Their upbringing and maybe something else... makes them a natural killer.

The ones that try to game consciously are great, but those rare girls who have an instinct for it... fuck. I've met a few.

It's the difference between sleeping with a saudi royal for one night (get $10-50k in gifts) or turning him into her little bitch over and over again (squeeze him for a lifetime, her personal security detail, her own small yacht, her own house, her cars, her own jet rides, etc).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Their upbringing and maybe something else

Can you elaborate on what kind of upbringing and "something else" make for a killer?

those rare girls who have an instinct for it... fuck. I've met a few.

Can you elaborate on what exactly these girls do that made them slay so hard?

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

I'd say it's two things:

Balance flirting at a perfect level, not too much to be slutty and not too little to let interest of her target fade. Making it seem like you are the only person in the world she cares about.

Knowing who to target, usually she is targeting multiple men, but never letting one man see her doing it to another.

Plus combined with her whirlwind of reputation that she has worked to cultivate and instinctively defends without making it seem like she is

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Balance flirting at a perfect level, not too much to be slutty and not too little to let interest of her target fade.

Why is it important to not be too aggressive/slutty?

Plus combined with her whirlwind of reputation that she has worked to cultivate and instinctively defends without making it seem like she is

Can you elaborate on what kind of reputation she cultivates and how she defends it "without making it seem like she is?"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

a girl with good game can live her whole life doing fuck all and amass more wealth than a dude cranks out at the corporate ladder

But she has to actually put out too in order to amass that wealth, right?

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

A smart girl won't stop at the put-out part as a make or break line in the sand.

She will put out where it benefits her:

she wants to, ie. is attracted to you and just wants to... girls can get turned on by money too and power

she sees a strategic end, such as children with the right person or to keep the natural flow going with a guy who can get it elsewhere and drop her without a whim... for example, hanging out with a royal. or famous person. If they want sex, you're probably gonna have to put out to remain competitive or have one hell of a good strategy to avoid it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She will put out where it benefits her:

When does it benefit her exactly?

girls can get turned on by money too and power

This is a bit weird. You mean they don't just fuck you for access to the money and power but they actually fuck you because you have money/power? That distinction is a little weird to me conceptually. Can you elaborate on that?

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]Airskycloudface points points [recovered] | Copy

and conversely, when I

dress sharp stand straight fresh shave, hair act with conviction tell people to do things roll with a sharp vehicle, park close

go to a place I am recognized and tip well to the "keys of the place" (managers, security, bouncers, bartenders, etc). everyone knows me by name, happy to see me, people asking me for favours or photos. I can wave at the bar and have them ignore everyone and get me anything

plus I have a backstory that fits very well when people ask "who is that", the story of what I am known for adds further to my rep of power and money

Funny thing is, I am by no means the best looking person or the fittest man in the place, even by a long-shot

but I have the best strategy and make it well known that I am the king there, using every tool in my arsenal.

I also limit my time in public to have a "purpose" and reason to leave. I never allow myself to be seen idle, even if I am actually rushing off to do fuck all

its all strategy and it works

[–]insoucianc-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually, no. Most guys are too cowardly to cut the bitch off so she can sweet talk him into "just one more present" or "I'm not quite ready yet" every day for months while she carefully selects one of the suitors throwing themselves at her to swing to and leech from next. You'll learn very quickly in life that the women who are the sluttiest tend to dress the most conservatively, it's the salacious sartorial that is the least likely to actually put out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (22 children) | Copy

This makes me paranoid. How does a man make sure that he's not being girl-gamed for his resources? Do you just never buy her anything? But in that case, she probably won't put out, so you just reach a stalemate, right? So maybe the only solution is a transactional one where you both kind of game each other; she gets some stuff paid for and you get the sex. It's kind of dark, but maybe that's the only way.

And it sounds like this kind of "stalemate" will just get worse and worse over time as men get more and more aware of girl-game and girls get more and more aware of male game. They know you just want the sex. You know she just wants money. It's fucked up. I guess you both have to let the other game you or else they will walk away. But she has the advantage because normally it's the buying-stuff that comes first and then the sex only comes she can get her end of the deal and then just quit you.

That's fucked up. I hate intersexual dynamics. I wish two mutually-attracted people could just hook up for the sake of the pleasure of sex and not have any girl-game involved. Or maybe she DOES enjoy the sex for its own sake and IS attracted to you but she ALSO wants to extract some resources from you; it's not necessarily mutually exclusive.

[–]ShavedApel1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

So maybe the only solution is a transactional one where you both kind of game each other; she gets some stuff paid for and you get the sex. It's kind of dark, but maybe that's the only way.

It was called marriage 1.0, but that is gone now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

It was called marriage 1.0, but that is gone now.

Where's the best thread on marriage 1.0 and marriage 2.0 and the history of what happened? (Which version are we at now? Marriage 2.0 or 3.0 or...?)

[–]insoucianc2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dude we've blown past marriage over a decade ago, we're on Divorce 2.0.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Where's the best thread running through this history of the different stages of marriage and divorce?

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seen a few dedicated threads on it before. Have a search.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think that girls do this very often because it's simply not worth the hassle for a free meal. However, buying stuff for us is unnecessary so if it makes you nervous, just don't do it.

That being said, it's more likely that girls are using you for validation and companionship than resources.

[–]duh_mane_man0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I feel since alot women have to get resources out of men that this world belongs to men and women have to either man up and work or put out and give men what men want (sex, family, maybe more) in return for their needs like cloths, food or free living.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just only do what you're okay with

[–]livinlavidal0ca0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're overthinking this. Just have fun

[–]yes_we_can_t0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The solution is simple. Don't buy her anything first. It's not necessary and can even make you seem lower value because you have to pay for her to bother to be around you.

[–]insoucianc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The trick is to appear wealthy and resourceful without actually giving her any wealth or resources.

[–]Billee_Boyee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Men love women. Women love children. Children love hamsters. Hamsters love nobody. There is no reciprocity." -Alice Thomas Ellis

You can wish it, but you only delude yourself.

[–]otra_gringa0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Girls want love and relationships and sometimes babies, more than they want you to buy them shit.

[–]insoucianc1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Erroneous. Women will always take a dopey fuck with money over a genuine gentleman who's broke.

[–]otra_gringa-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

A "genuine gentleman"? Who said anything like that? Is /niceguys leaking?

[–]kaane-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Brother, I am sorry but the red pill is quite hard to swallow.

If you are lucky, I mean really really lucky, only few people will love you just for who you are. Those people include your mom, maybe your dad, or your closest friends. A woman ? I don't think so. I am not saying that it will never happen, but the chances are very very small.

If you approach a woman with your resources, take her to a nice dinner to impress her, she will always demand that from you. If you fuck a woman's brains out she will always expect mind blowing sex from you. So, my personal advice is, never use money to impress women.

And the best test to check how they feel about you is to see how they fuck you. If you are getting lots of blowjobs, and she is more than eager to "experiment" with you, this means in her "cavewoman" brain, she finds you high value. She wants to equalize her value to match yours. Keep her around you. If you get half-hearted sex once or twice a month, well, drop her, keep on working out, go out and find a new woman. The chances are, if a woman see you when you are down, it is very unlikely that she will find you more attractive even if you improve greatly.

Lastly, get used to the idea that women will extract resources from you. It's either money, or tingles. Men are supposed to be leaders and creators. We fight, we explore and we create. Women are a byproduct of our value. Embrace this, and live your life accordingly.

Hope this helps

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you get half-hearted sex once or twice a month,

Did you mean you only have sex once or twice a month and it's half-hearted? Or did you mean you have sex all the time but once or twice a month the sex is half-hearted?

Because in the former case, that's just weird...are there really people who only have sex once or twice a month? That's a dead bedroom for sure.

[–]kaane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have a friend who is married for more than five years. He did get sex once a month if he was lucky. Believe me there are way more sexless marriages and relationships than you can imagine.

Let's put the superficial "pumping and dumping" mindset aside for a minute. I believe sex is the expression of admiration. It is the vulnerability to let someone close to you. Now, this of course applies to LTRs obviously, and I am not talking about ONS.

So, would you want to be intimate with someone who do you think is not on your level ? Now, you may ask why would you end up with that person in the first place. The thing is many people go into relationships for practical reasons. They feel that this partner is the best they can get, so it is their best interest to lock this one down before they loose it. They get married, have kids but not satisfied by their partners, hence the dead bedrooms.

[–]Hearpsutra0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Also partially for their own validation if they find you attractive

[–]roskybosky-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

As a former hottie with many hottie friends, I never once went out with anyone for 'what I could get.' Dinner, drinks and trips are easily acquired with your own salary and it's never worth the trouble to sit through these things with someone you don't like. Attractive women want sincerity, and can sniff out the fakers.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I call women "bro" on purpose. Kinds cause I just find it slightly humorous, bit also cause I gives two fucks about their vagina.

You're either a bro, we are having sex, or I don't know you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

there is a high chance that they're gaming you in turn by pretending to be gamed by you.

Are there any ways to accurately evaluate whether she is counter-gaming you or not? Some telltale signs to look for? Maybe certain nonverbals, like blushing, might be hard to fake, for example?

[–]ioncehadsexinapool3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Blushing is impossible to fake

[–]yes_we_can_t0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not impossible. Some people blush easily. When I was young I could make myself blush by imagining or remembering some embarassing incident. In fact, learning to blush on command is sometimes recommended as a cure for frequent blushers.

[–]MRPFuckMe114 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is great. Just find the joy in talking to people.

[–]Milasteoro9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Marvelous, I am a beginner RP and I find this super useful.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dating in the west has become a giant game of Spy vs. Spy.

2007: See all those guys without game? Hot chicks are tired of them. If you use game, you'll stand out!

2017: See all those guys with game? Hot chicks are tired of them. If you avoid using game, you'll stand out!

2027: See all those guys avoiding the use of game? Hot chicks are tired of them...

[–]dgillz9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

The "I like your (accessory)" approach is brilliant. I'm gonna use it.

[–]KumonRoguing2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Works with literally everything. Just change the formula.

[–]tuzki1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Especially big items, like vehicles, houses, or permanent items.

[–]Abulia1311 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great post for married guys just wanted to keep their skills sharp.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good post. In the PUA days coaches used to call this warming up. You open several strangers before you start opening women. It works in a night club situation as well. Open some guys, then open the staff, open an ugly girl, then open hotties. The best habit to have in life is to just open everybody, then when it is a hottie, it just happens naturally

[–]no_face21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy

What can I say, this post is pure 100% bullshit from someone who has no success with girls. The heavy appreciation by readers is making me miss the grand old days of TRP.

You need to find out what is interesting about her. Doesn't matter if you think it is interesting, SHE does.

This is women's advice to men on dating women. This bullshit is straight out of women's magazines.

Fact is, ugly people are more interesting

Ha ha ha. I've lived in neighborhoods where 90% of people are ugly. They are not interesting. They are mostly ordinary to sad.

she's going back to being a hotshot, fighting wildfires in Arizona and California Cuz ugly chick is cooler than you or I will ever be.

Whose fantasy is this? I dare readers to talk to 10 ugly chicks and see how many match anything like this. Most of you will have zero.

Pedastalizing ugly chicks. This is a new low for TRP

Chatting up ugly people, and chatting up hotties is THE SAME THING.

Wow. This is such utter bullshit. Ugly people crave attention and you are in no risk of rejection. Hot chicks present high risk of rejection and your body will create anxiety and you will find ITS NOT THE SAME THING

You are gaming the FUCK out of them, but your intention is to walk away. "I have a girlfriend"- preselection. "I buy her gifts" - you have resources. "Your (accessory) is cool"- you value her unique opinion and taste. She is special for something other than her looks "Thanks ladies, have a great day!" - abundance, IDGAF mentality.

Oh god. Where do I even begin whats wrong here: First of all, saying "I have a girlfriend" is not pre-selection. Being seen with HOT chicks is preselection. Secondly, buying her gifts / showing off resources is beta game. It has no value add for attraction. Lastly, how the fuck is "Bye Ladies" IDGAF?

Now you have the tools,

So: 1) Talking to ugly people and 2) complimenting girls on their choice of accessories is "all the tools?"

I'm getting tired of all the pretenders coming in here and spewing bullshit. We do have a few people who know what they are doing but most contributors are just crap these days. I see there is insufficient info on approach, perhaps I'll write one someday.

[–]rabid_god1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. This advice feels off the mark. Seems like a good way to get a homeless guy to want to fuck you though.

[–]Billee_Boyee[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you had any idea what my qualifications were you'd be begging to suck my dick for more tips.

[–]no_face5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tut ... tut.... already butthurt?

[–]NibblyPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree with pretty much all of this reply. Just a bunch of anecdotes. I met a hot chick who was interesting once so everything you said is wrong type thing.

[–]yessum4473 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly this post should just be titled, "How to approach with no risk and no reward" because that's what it is. Being able to chat up random people and go nowhere with it is a useful skill in some situations, but to be honest it's hardly a skill at all.It's the same thing as asking for directions and walking away. Sure you technically approached and you technically didn't get rejected, but there was never anything to gain.

The entire difficulty in approaching is that you're trying to reach a specific end. You're trying to get a number or go home with the girl. That's where the difficulty comes in. That's what makes it actually hard to pull off. Approaching in this way is a no-resistance rep, it can be useful once or twice to get the form down, but all the benefit is in the real reps.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

1: How do you deal with (and respond to) the mortification if you get rejected by a girl? Even if you start to develop some confidence, you could suddenly get treated like shit all of a sudden, because you're too low value or whatever.

2: How do you deal with being rejected in front of a bunch of strangers out in public? Doesn't the audience aspect of it multiply the mortification?

[–]Beast_Pot_Pie6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

1) Laugh it off. Make fun of her. Say something like 'Oh sorry, I know you are used to getting paid by guys'

You have to stop thinking that girls, no matter how hot, are 'intimidating'. No amount of reading on this sub is going to make you change your mindset; that has to be done by yourself every single day. "Girls ain't shit" just say that to yourself everyday. They aren't. They are the inferior gender -- and if that is something that makes you feel uncomfortable because its not 'nice' or politically correct, then you are going to have a really hard time. Its not called the red pill for nothing.

2) Again, this is about mindset. You need to get into that 'I don't give a fuck if I'm embarassed' mindset. That takes time to develop just like muscles in the body. You have to exercise the 'don't give a fuck if I'm embarassed or people laugh' muscles regularly.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Oh sorry, I know you are used to getting paid by guys'

Isn't that just offensive, though?

[–]1pluvoaz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd go with "paid for your time", it's subtle & a bit of a thinker.

[–]Beast_Pot_Pie3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Isn't that just offensive, though?

Dude. You've got a lot of conditioning to undo. Stop caring so much.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe not offensive but defensive.

[–]Billee_Boyee[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. Rejection is the majority of the game. Years ago I had a buddy with more natural game than anyone I've ever seen. The guy was 5'3" with a girlish face, but he SLAYED. He taught me the following. "Just keep throwing hooks, Billee Boyee. 1 in 5 will bite."

He got one in five, and he was a natural.

You will usually get rejected. It's where abundance mentality and IDGAF come in. "I'm on this great ride called life, ladies. You can enjoy my trip with me, on my terms, or not. IDGAF."

  1. You deal with public rejection the same way. If your frame is solid you should be able to walk up to any group of women, flash some charm, and walk it off no matter their reaction. Because you are on this awesome trip called life. You don't care that they chose not to come along. Most won't. Even 5'3" guy only got 1 in 5 to bite.

They don't know you. It's nothing personal. I have male pattern baldness so I shave it. Plenty of women reject all bald men. Fine with me, I reject all women under HB8. It's nothing personal. There are enough HB8 - 10s who have a thing for bald guys who can take command that I can afford to be gracious to those who turn me down. Even those who try some petty passive aggressive shit test response. Keep this phrase handy, and deliver it dispassionately, as if narrating a movie to yourself. "I guess beauty is only skin deep. (sigh)" then walk away as they screech.

You WILL be rejected, most of the time, no matter how good your game is. It's usually nothing personal, and when it is, you have your frame.

EDIT: I know both the numbers say '1', but in my edit box it's correct. It's Reddit who cannot count to 2.)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

try some petty passive aggressive shit test response

What kind of shit do they say?

"I guess beauty is only skin deep. (sigh)"

Isn't that a super dickish/autistic thing to say, though, potentially? I guess it depends a lot on the delivery for sure. Should you say it with "dismay," kind of? Which would elicit sympathy? It seems like that would be important to avoid coming across as a sociopathic/autistic dick.

Also, can't women (and the people looking on) kind of tell when a line is canned/rehearsed? When a line is not natural? That's another danger of having this "I guess beauty is only skin deep" line.

then walk away as they screech.

Do they really screech? lol. What did the strangers looking on at the spectacle think? That you're a pervert/creeper/asshole? (I have anxiety about the audience aspect.)

Do a lot of women who reject you get freaked/creeped out and tell people around you that you're harassing them? Wouldn't everyone think you're a predator?

[–]1swaglordobama5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

You're overcomplicating it. You don't need to mention a girlfriend. You don't need shopping advice...

"Excuse me, sorry to bother you, miss, (do you speak English?) I just wanted to say (your ____ is amazing!) (I love the way your accessories match, etc) Keep it up! Have a nice day!."

Turn around, walk away. Girl says "thanks!"

"Oh, you're actually really friendly, where are you from?"

"You know what they say about girls from ___"

"Bunch of raging sluts"

You're in. Credits to RSD Luke.

[–]shr3dthegnarbrah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You must be following rules 1 and 2.

[–]1swaglordobama4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can banter and have fun with everybody. General advice is talk to everyone so that you are on autopilot when an attractive woman walks by, removing anxiety and your uncanny ability to second guess your approach. This method works best at night because it feels the most congruent when everyone is out to drink and have fun. Best approach for nightgame is observational.

For daygame compliment opener has the highest success ratio.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You would say bunch of raging sluts?

[–]1swaglordobama0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yes, just as an example. You want to be sexual but withold intent. A big mistake that indirect guys make in the conversation is they keep it too platonic and tame. It's not engaging or arousing. You need to establish man to woman.q

Keep in mind, it's said light heartedly, as if you are joking with a friend.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Being a complete outsider to sex, I have trouble even thinking of saying something like that. I just feel shame being even slightly sexual and assume rejection to protect my psyche. Not sure how to get past that.

[–]1swaglordobama0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You exist because of sex. You are your father's fastest swimmer. Your purpose is to have sex and produce grandchildren.

Not sure what there is to feel ashamed of. It is literally our biological imperative to have sex.

Women love sex, men love sex. Get some female friends. Do not ever judge them. All they want to talk about is sex.

The issue is most guys are judgmental and shame girls for sex. That is a terrible attitude.

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Once you hook the hottie, do fun things, then maybe even her to be your gf, then what?

Obviously never live together, but how do we keep the attraction going? Just keep living our awesome lives (in our eyes,) and always keep her guessing?

[–]bharg5 points points [recovered] | Copy

Yep keep doing things with your time and keep up the 'I have my shit together' persona

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Awesome, thanks. I don't even need to fake that. I moved in with the last broad after a year and lost my shit.

She was an unmotivated pig. Then the nagging started and I was out. She actually tried to guilt trip me for working out while telling me how hot I was, especially for my age (37).

Does she think this just happens? I have sub par genes weight wise, and she's even seen the pictures when I was in my twenties.

[–]mithrilbong1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be careful at the mall. Go on weekdays. Most mall-goers around here are confusingly mature looking 15-16 year olds, im sure its pretty similar in the rest of the US. Two older brothers got in my face and tried to start some shit with my "pedophile ass" last time I tried picking up at the mall. (I'm only 23, by the way. I could understand if I was/looked 40 years old.)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get numbers but after that it's all flakes and ghosts.

[–]1SirKolbath7 points8 points  (9 children) | Copy

An excellent write up. I noticed my game improved immeasurably when I stopped trying to game and started trying to simply have a conversation.

I'm a funny little asshole, so I try to make a new person laugh within thirty seconds of a conversation. Openers I've used are:

Cashier asks, "Find everything okay?"

I reply: "No, actually. Where is your livestock? I was trying to buy a goat." Add pretend-irritation "Where is your manager?"

Meeting a random girl at the mall with "fashionably ripped up" pants: "Hey, I'm super glad you didn't get hurt in the motorcycle accident that shredded your pants. Glad you're all right!"

While out running, when a girl is running the opposite direction, pointing behind myself, "No! Run the other way! Zombies!"

The reality is that you don't CARE about extrinsic feedback. You are having fun YOURSELF. You make jokes to make YOURSELF laugh. Anyone you're talking to is simply allowed to come along for the ride, but you're not even offering them an invitation. You're just driving a bus, and if they want on they had better leap and grab the handrail, because it ain't stopping.

[–]_MysticFox15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy

Goats are cringe, speaking from former retail experience. I had a lady come up to me at the register and say "Hey did you hear they opened a zoo down the street? They only show dogs though. I heard it was a shitzu (shit zoo)" and I just stood there like what the fuck, wanting her to gtfo asap. "I love making people smile/laugh!" was her rationale, looking at me with bug eyes and a buck-toothed smile

Motorcycle accident one is alright, doesn't require a lot of thinking, and it's slightly condescending, but I can see that going wrong easily. Would be best with some former rapport. C+

Zombies are cringe too

Edit: Looks like people want an alternative. Do this instead — the people I was interested in the most was the people who offered value.

An old guy came up and would buy a newspaper every day. He told me about interesting shit and his experiences in relation to it. He told me how he basically stopped a fucking Trojan-horse type infiltration while he was stationed in Iraq. That was badass. That was cool. That was valuable. I wish I'd asked for his contact before leaving.

Another lady bought out a bunch of toys on clearance. I made a joke on her taking the stuffed animals to a carnival/fair. She said she was a child abuse attorney and ran her own rescue nonprofit. She was bringing it for the kids that she saved out of her own fucking pocket. That's fucking cool. That's value.

Stop with these bullshit lines and tricks. Instead, cultivate an enriching life so you can actually add value to conversations, and people. The lady with the zoo story was weird as fuck and I assure you, if you approach with some canned line or irrelevant remark, you won't have quality interactions.

[–]FigotedBaggot2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, but she's a girl though

[–]1SirKolbath2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

My reply has not changed. I didn't ask for your opinion because I DON'T CARE. I am not looking for what you claim is a "quality interaction." I'm making a joke TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF. I was fairly clear in my original post that I don't give a fuck. I didn't extend an invitation to anyone. If someone chooses to come along for the ride, that's up to them, but this is MY fucking conversation and they are a guest in it. They can laugh or not. I assure you that your "enriching life" is not adding a damn thing to the conversations I'm trying to have.

This thread is an excellent example of where you are floundering. First you misinterpreted my original reply to think I wanted your pompous declaration of grade. Then you AMPLIFIED the stupid by editing to show how you're way more cooler than me. You're not even going after the same GOALS I have in mind, but you somehow reason that you're better at obtaining them than I am, to the point of even proudly declaiming that people are "looking for an alternative." Literally not one single post in this thread has asked for that. Not. ONE.

I give not the thinnest of shits about your value or how you declare it. Your frame is weak because you misperceive that the way to increase your own value is to DECREASE MINE, and you are failing to successfully do either one because you're simply insecure and must work to prove that you're somehow better than me at a game I stated at the outset I AM NOT EVEN PLAYING!

Okay. You win. You're smarter, better looking, and better at game than I am. Never mind that you're not even swimming in the same goddamn POOL, much less the same LANE I'm in, you're just better at it. Hell, even I want to fuck you now because your game is so good. Happy now?

[–]yes_we_can_t1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm making a joke TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF. I was fairly clear in my original post that I don't give a fuck. I didn't extend an invitation to anyone. If someone chooses to come along for the ride, that's up to them, but this is MY fucking conversation and they are a guest in it. They can laugh or not. I assure you that your "enriching life" is not adding a damn thing to the conversations I'm trying to have.

Same. If they enjoy that I'm amusing myself, I'm going to have fun with them. If they don't approve of my jokes, then I don't care if I lose them anyway. Plenty of fun and hot women out there.

[–]1SirKolbath0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Huh. Reading over my last post I don't see where I asked. Thanks, though. You do you.

[–]i4mn300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But if you mention to the hottie they you want to buy X for your gf, how do you game her?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great post. It's been said many times but it basically comes down to talking to everybody you meet. The other guys in the gym, the girl in the coffee shop, waiters, in fact anyone who is sitting near you and not glued to their phone. You can tell when someone wants to be talked to and most people you meet are going to be friendly towards you.

[–]Math_30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, this is a great idea. Good way to help get rid of my fucking shyness arouns women

[–]egoissuffering0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this is fantastic, thank you

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You worded it better than I would but I agree with this.

I hate the game I have 0 game and I don't care to play it to get my dick wet.

So I should be a no life virgin right? Not really. The thing I have been told by so many women is that I'm a great boyfriend when I'm not dating them.

The thing is apparently, I am an excellent flirt (female words) when I'm not looking to bang. Women always think I'm gaming them apparently and they love it. Meanwhile I'm talking about game of thrones or some shit. Or just telling them shit I did in my life and places I've been.

Some guys need game. Cool. Do you. But there is nothing wrong with just being yourself and taking advantage of opportunities as they arise. Talk to dozens of women daily and you'll have plenty of opportunity to exploit.

[–]Robbie19850 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is extremely wholesome.

[–]TheSlicemanCometh-4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ugly people are more interesting?

Wow I gotta stop ya right there.

In general better looking people are smarter. Smarter equals more interesting.

I'll also posit that ugly people also have uglier personalities. Hambeast landwhales have worse personalities than hot girls.

[–]KumonRoguing10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you want to disqualify that point, gaming uggos for practice gets rid of the "trying to get laid" nerves. Still solid write up.

[–]TheSlicemanCometh2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ya good write up, but the egalitarian idea that ugly people are more interesting or good looking people are dumber is just wrong.

[–]BullshittingNonsense3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah don't think they're more interesting for the exact reason above (intelligence). But you develop the IDGAF attitude talking to uglies or fatties because you quite literally DGAF.

[–]TyrannicalWill-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

This shit is so cringey, you all are hopeless

[–]Billee_Boyee[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Oh darn. You saw through my act. You are right. I'm not really Chad. I'm a virgin neckbeard zitfest in my mom's basement. You are totally too cool to even be on Reddit, you should have your own sex cult and Learjet.

[–]TyrannicalWill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, not what you think. This, this is cringey as fuck.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter