Kind of surprised this hasn't made its way here, considering TRP is called out in the title. A very good example of the double standards people have, and how women are considered victims when they're treated the same way men are all of the time.
A common scenario: a woman becomes pregnant by "accident", her fling/ex/one-night-stand does not want to be a parent, but the courts end up forcing the man to pay child support for the next 18 years of his life, most of which may never go towards the child.
Of course, we are told that this is completely normal and acceptable. Both parents have a responsibility towards the kid. You can't opt out of being a parent. The child support is for the child's benefit. If you didn't want a kid, you shouldn't have had sex. And so on, and so on.
Except when it's a man that's forcing his girl to pay child support. Then, according to much of Reddit, he's a scumbag, a lying asshole, his child is to be pitied for being raised by him, etc.
In this instance, a 20-year-old man posted on Legal Advice asking for help. His ex-girlfriend was pregnant and wanted to put the child up for adoption when it was born, against his own wishes. He wanted to raise the child, even if he had to do so as a single parent. He said that he earned enough to support the child on his own and he was willing to take on the responsibility.
He was informed that his ex could not put the child up for adoption without his consent and that he should get a lawyer, register his paternity, and push for his custodial rights.
Yesterday, he came back with an update. He got a lawyer, managed to prevent his ex from putting the child up for adoption, and is now raising his daughter as a single parent, with his ex signing over her custodial rights. And oh yeah, after this all happened and he had his daughter, he also got his lawyer to file for child support and his ex now has to pay child support for the next 18 years, and she phoned him up livid, swearing at him and calling him every name in the book.
A very common scenario that often occurs with the man having to pay the child support, but now that it's the woman, plenty of people have some choice thoughts for this man.
I actually feel terrible for the mother. Because if she didn't want the child, she could have easily aborted the baby and this man goes, after the mother gives him full legal custody, and makes her pay child support?
I don't agree with this at all. (+723)
Yes, she definitely should've aborted her eight-month-old fetus to save money.
But that was the point of adoption, so someone could take proper care of the child. This just seems like dirty tactics. (+257)
Want proper care for your child? Put them up for adoption and send them off into the world!
She had a plan, but now has to pay child support instead because the father wanted full custody? (+420)
Now, after he gets custody of the kid, he wants her to pay child support? That kinda negates the point of not being able to support the kid. I'd say that's a dick move on the dad's part. She should have terminated if she knew he would do that. (+596)
Another "she should've aborted her almost full-term baby" comment.
Literally a post why she should have put it up, she'd be in much better position. Crazy. (+4)
If she put her daughter up for adoption, she would save money and her daughter would grow up without either of her birth parents. Imagine how much of a better position that would be!
She let him have the kid without a fuss at the end but then he files for child support? Holy shit can't understand how someone could do that. And just imagine the Reddit shitstorm if it had been the other way. (+188)
"Imagine if this happened to a woman!"
She was mislead and lied to. It is incredibly scummy and I now worry for this kid's future having a dad willing to so coldly lie and fuck over someone like that...There needs to be more reason in these laws. (+44)
Total dick-move to sue for child support. She clearly and expressedly did NOT want this child. She made the process for OP to have the child easy as possible. Had she gone the adoption route, she wouldnt be on the hook for child support, but decided to give the father a chance to parent. Absolutely an asshole thing to do to her. (+10)
What selfish prick. Also, what an excellent way to make that woman hate him until the day she dies. (+14)
I think it's a crappy thing to do, and if I was the mother, and he went after child support, I'd go after visitation rights. Then he may change his mind about wanting child support.
"If I was the woman, I would go after visitation rights and be miserable raising a daughter I don't want to get back at him!"
I am glad I am not the only one that was distressed about the underhanded way he went about getting child-support. His lack of honesty really worries me. (+61)
I'm conflicted regarding going after child support. In my head I feel it's wrong, if she had put the baby up for adoption then she wouldn't have to pay it for the next 18 years. However if the roles were reversed and the father wanted to put the baby up for adoption and the mother wanted full custody, then i think public opinion would be that the father obviously has to pay. The laws need to change regarding this topic for sure. (+19)
"Now that this has happened to a woman, the laws have to change!"
Also, one comment that made me laugh:
You said you weren't smart enough for college? Man, you seem brilliant!
And there are hundreds of other comments, calling him shitty, a scumbag, ice cold, and every other name in the book.
To be fair, at least half the people in that thread support him and think this is perfectly fine, maybe even the majority. But you can be sure that if this was a woman, nobody would've even blinked twice.
When a woman is given the same treatment that men undergo all the time, she is seen as a victim. Furthermore, when a woman suffers the smallest consequences for her actions, people will excuse any and all behavior on her part (such as a late-term abortion of a viable fetus to avoid paying child support).