To the man shooting 3's in the gym today

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August 17, 2017

I play basketball a few times a week at a local indoor court near my apartment.

Often I see this guy there, we'll call him Brad. Brad's about 5'9, 28 years old, he's handsome— but only because he takes care of himself. He lifts, get's haircuts, he's in decent shape, lean. He has male friends, he does things, can hold a conversation and takes care of himself. Not a Chad by any stretch... but he's working on himself continuously.

Whenever we're playing basketball in the gym, I often witness Brad approach women charismatically and effortlessly. I've seen him cold approach 8's and 9's, convince them to watch him play basketball for 30 mins, then walk out of the gym with them after the game.

Today was different. I see Brad doing his thing as usual, shooting hoops and approaching women when the game dies down.

Brad see's this blonde HB9 and immediately B-lines to the locker (10 feet away from the court). Walks up to her and starts chatting with her. 2 mins pass, She's not feeling it, resting bitch face and giving him some dirty looks. He keeps at it... invites her to play basketball. She's still not feeling it.

Then about 15 seconds later, she turns her back to him without saying anything at all and gives him the most cold and unexpected "slam the locker in your face" rejections I've ever seen. It could have been out of high school musical.

I'll never forget what he said to her.

Just so she could hear him, he calmly — without chagrin, says "your loss", as she walks away.

He picks up his ball, turns around, takes 2 steps and sinks a 3 from way downtown. Continues to play ball for the rest of the night, unfazed.

I commend Brad to get up after rejection like this. There was at least 15 men and women around him that saw exactly what happened. Most men would have social shame or at the very least some humiliation or discomfort. He didn't even flinch. Just turned around, says the truth, then shoots a 3.

We often talk back and forth about abundance mentality on TRP, but only in theory. Maybe some of us are like brad, but surely not all of us are. How many of us are practicing in real life situations like Brad? Who here would have even have approached an HB9 after her workout? I've never seen abundance mentality first hand like this in my life. This man didn't attach any of his value or worth to talking to this woman. He was simply a man who saw a woman he found attractive and approached her to see if she was also interested.

I know Brad personally, he's a great guy, and the words "your loss" is exactly the way to describe the how this woman should feel tonight.

Post some FR's in the comments that you experienced rejection and how you could have handled it differently.

Post Information
Title To the man shooting 3's in the gym today
Author lietruth
Upvotes 1348
Comments 157
Date 17 August 2017 05:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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[–]SlyAM138 points139 points  (4 children) | Copy

What so many guys seem to forget is that sometimes rejection isn't your fault. You could have done everything right, but she still rejected you and for some of us that cracks our fragile ego's. Rejection can be purely situational.

Many guys seem to forget that women have bad days to. On one day that girl could've been in a good mood and gave brad her number because she was happy and felt like responding to brads advances. On another day maybe she is on her period, or maybe she just got pumped and dumped by chad and she is pissed off because he won't text her back, or maybe she just got some bad news about her mother who is in the hospital. So, of course she isn't gonna want to give anybody the time of day, let alone fuck them.

Remember that rejection can be purely situational. I've seen plenty of guys with near perfect game get turned down because for some reason the girl was not in the mood. Unless you are Billy the PUA going around approaching girls with cheesy pickup lines and with little to no game (no wonder you can't get a date), don't get so down on yourself for getting rejected! It most likely had nothing to do with you.

[–]yallapapi21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here. You never know what kind of drama someone else has going on in your life that will prevent you from being open to meeting new people. Happens to all of us. Chalk it up to bad luck and move on

[–]suxxos2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always tell that to guys, but they just won't listen.

Same goes for sex, yes, sometimes you go on a date and don't end up fucking a girl, but it doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong or you don't lift enough. Perhaps girls was on period or didn't shave her legs or had an infection or mismatched underwear. Yes, girls do leave for such stupid reasons.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because of the ego, and how important the ego is towards pulling women, it's hard to remember this and not take it personally every time.

Brad is in a good place mentally and has abundance.

[–]LeJamesBron32578 points579 points  (24 children) | Copy

No FR but Brad sounds like someone I'd love to hoop with

[–]Moneyley303 points304 points  (18 children) | Copy

for sure. He sounds clutch.... drained a 3 under pressure

[–]DoNotEatTheTail94 points95 points  (16 children) | Copy

That's kind of the point, though. The pressure was off.

[–]Moneyley104 points105 points  (5 children) | Copy

well the way I saw it, the pressure was on. The chick tried to publicly humiliate him. He "meh'd" it and went on to drain a 3. Most people wouldve been awkward as fuck trying to play again knowing that everybody is watching.

[–]memphisjohn71 points72 points  (2 children) | Copy

What if I told you, "pressure" does not exist, except as a construct you created inside your own imagination?

Brad, apparently, has chosen not to imagine that silly sort of thing.

[–]speeney23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

The zen in that statement is profound

[–]nagynorbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean it seems like a cliché thing to say, but he's really got a point

[–]p3n1x18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your brain told you to feel pressure, Brad's brain said, "your loss", now lets ball. He was never under pressure in the first place.

[–]Moneyley7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn bro.... Brad's thought process is hitting on that "Confucious Say" next level shit

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (9 children) | Copy

Pressure was on. 20 some people saw her reject him coldly.

[–]BrotherFrankie 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

ahhh, but who gives a shit what other people saw or think they saw?

(am i correct in that line of thinking? i don't give a poop what they think and its none of my business what they saw or think.. IDK just learning)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

There are real life consequences to being socially rejected. Dude flipped that by staying calm. On top of it he looked badass by draining a 3.

Everyone says they DGAF but very few act accordingly in such a display.

[–]p3n1x3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

real life consequences

Not really.

Negative perception to one person is positive perception to another. One chick bitching in your face gets you bed'time with another that witnessed it. All publicity is good.

Why /u/BrotherFrankie is being down voted is beyond me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'd disagree but we're splitting hairs at this point.

[–]p3n1x-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

So your opinion about negative perception is an absolute rule across the board? Solipsistic much?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nice, you got a buzzword in there.

[–]RFF6710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not brad, he don't give a fuck

[–]Smigg_e6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brad sounds like a cool cat.

[–][deleted] 171 points172 points  (15 children) | Copy

Reading stuff like "He shouldn't have said a thing" just shows me how people don't actually understand. It doesn't matter what he does, it matters where it comes from.
"Hey, Jake want to come eat ice cream after the game?"
"Well your loss, see you tommorow."

People act as if their interpretation is a fact for this story. Which is bullshit. They could actually be right, but just aswell could be wrong. To me it seems Brad just doesn't even think about it. He tried something, saw it works, then started repeating it. Just like a caveman discovering how to make fire. People overthink things, Brad doesn't.

[–]heelface241 points242 points  (7 children) | Copy

Great attitude and a lot cooler cause he drained the 3

[–]i_forget_my_userids223 points224 points  (5 children) | Copy

Everyone clapped and carried him off the court on a bed of $100 bills.

[–]Mail_Order_Lutefisk92 points93 points  (4 children) | Copy

And a talent scout for the LA Lakers signed him to a 10 day contract so the team can work him out. An Adidas rep was also there and is in negotiations with him for a shoe contract.

[–]K0mmissar 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

And Brad's real name? Albert Einstein.

[–]Matthew_NZ26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brad doesn't use names. He simply is.

[–]VancouverSucks23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

He actually airballed it and then tripped over his shoelace.

[–]hodltaco53 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy

Brad is smart. Doesn't matter your looks or your wealth it really is a numbers game.

[–]M1lf_Hunter6919 points20 points  (24 children) | Copy

What advice do you veterans have for a 20 yr old guy who is just getting around to these theories? I know that I should be focusing on my craft. I work out and I take care of my self in terms of grooming. I get girls but they're usually HB5 or HB6 and they're definitely not as often as I'd like even with the low level of hotness that they are. Should I just accept the level of chicks I can attain rn while continuing to progress my self mentally and physically?

[–]GarandTheftAvto46 points47 points  (18 children) | Copy

TL;DR - don't ever accept the characteristics of people around you (hotness in girls, friendship in guys, or anything) as being "as good as you can get," but recognize that your age and current lifestyle/hobbies are particularly important in determining your SMV relative to others in your environment.

At 20 I assume you're going for girls between 18-22, and not having luck with the 21-22 crowd. At least I didn't at that age. This makes sense for you and it did for me, because the girls in that bracket usually like older, more experienced, wealthy, tingle inducing men or whatever. Nothing wrong with that. What you're feeling is likely the gap between your current SMV and the SMV of men older than you, as they compare to the options of women your age. Women are generally considered literally as hot as they can get between 20-22, why would they go for you when men usually peak much later? You'd literally need to be top 1% or something to pull the best of the best of that age group at your current spot in life. Nothing wrong with this, just keep working on yourself.

For example, why would a girl hang with you when a 21-25 year old can buy her and her friends Mike's Hard Lemonade? When the 21-23 year old has a cool internship or is finishing school and working or going to be a doctor with the tingles or whatever?

Depending on where you are and what hobbies you have you'll have a much different time approaching after you're 21+ and going to bars, if that is what you're into. Forgive me, bars and college and urban late 20s stuff is my specialty. Regardless, keep focusing on you and improving yourself- but pay close attention to the characteristics of the women you're seeing and the other people in your life, so you have realistic expectations of their behavior in the future. You will get better every year, and its likely at 25-27 you'll have it much easier with the 22 year old HB9's or whatever you're fiending for now, again, at least i did. Just give it time and remember that your best years are ahead of you and those girls are generally considered to be in the middle of theirs in terms of physical attractiveness.

[–]M1lf_Hunter69 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Dude thanks for taking the time to write all this. The experience you guys have accumulated and compounded on is priceless to me. I'm glad I was able to find a community of people who are so helpful. Ironic since we are all males and we are actually competing with each other while also picking up our fallen brethren to the lie of true love. Thanks again.

[–]GarandTheftAvto6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course man, see my other response below for more too. Remember that competition makes us all better, and this forum is a valuable place to share insight into self improvement without having to AMOG each other or feel like we can't speak our minds. Also, there are plenty of other men on here with more fleshed out thoughts on our concepts, always read through the posts of our ECs and Vanguards, they all teach in different ways and all have a lot to offer. Thank you for the compliment in any event, feel free to hit me up whenever you have questions.

[–]Surf_Or_Die8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

At 20 I assume you're going for girls between 18-22

more like anyone with a pussy.

[–]Future_Alpha6 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy

Depending on where you are and what hobbies you have you'll have a much different time approaching after you're 21+

I dunno about after 21+, it definitely has not gotten better for me (I am 24), but that may be because I am doing a post-bacc to get into med school. So in other words, I am stuck in college undergrad at 24. Hopefully this improves.

[–]Ballosaurus 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Get over it. I'm 30. I'm an M1. Average age of my class? 23. I was taking my prereqs with 18 year-olds just over a year ago. At some point you become the sage with plenty of life experience.

I can party harder than my classmates. I work out harder than my classmates. I study longer than my classmates. Why? Because of my experience. "I know why I'm here. Do you?"

[–]Future_Alpha2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have not considered that perspective before. Thanks for that. I know why I want to do medicine, but they are reasons that are not 'traditional' but important for me.

Do you find your age made it easier to get women?

[–]Ballosaurus 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Simply put, "women" is not why I'm here.

[–]Future_Alpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Simply put, "women" is not why I'm here.

What do you mean? Are you gay or something? Didn't know that gays used TRP, kinda pointless for them.

[–]GarandTheftAvto2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

It's all relative I think. "Too young for the bar" is a powerful social hurdle to overcome. In any event I'm sure during/after med school you'll likely see another huge jump in relative SMV. Male doctor at 34 is comparable to female 24 year old when controlling for the characteristics the opposite sex looks for. It was like night and day for me after day 1 of law school, at least.

[–]Future_Alpha0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

It was like night and day for me after day 1 of law school, at least.

Really? Kind of curious, did you suddenly start seeing more success with female peers or random females on the street?

[–]GarandTheftAvto4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yes, night and day. I even got more positive responses when approaching people after I said I was going to go to law school- which I happened to hate. Getting attention just for saying you will do something can be very toxic to self improvement.

In terms responses from peers vs. randoms, it all depends, right? We all have internal/external thoughts about ourselves that inform other people about how they should treat us. Internally, we have our confidence, fear, intelligence, shame, charisma, will, etc. These qualities when increased or decreased usually cause people in our environments to act differently to us. Generally, people in our environments cannot react to our internal changes or improvements without getting a stimulus or a social cue of some kind. Our actions and behaviors, including the facts we disclose about ourselves, can great change peoples' reactions to us.

So use confidence as a proxy for one of these qualities. I was going to law school, which made me more confident. I'm sure this confidence was picked up by my female peers, which in turn caused them to react more positively to my approaches. Of course, confidence in general is attractive. So what about the law school information in a vacuum? Or with strangers, like you said? Best approximation I recall is when I stated the information to strangers I did not know but was not displaying confidence. I was distracted, or felt shitty, or was embarrassed about something, or afraid, or really any other negative feeling. I still got way way better responses to my approaches because of that fact. I guess there is some confounding there with confidence as an attribute being wrapped up in the good law school news or the good medical school news, but I hope my analogy gets the point across.

Another decent analogy would be an old TRP truism - when the ripped guy stalks you, hes "passionate." When the ugly guy does it, hes a creep. When the future-lawyer isn't being fun, he's too busy planning to be a rich deal maker guy. When the no-career-having person isn't being fun, its because he's a loser.

[–]Future_Alpha0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Getting attention just for saying you will do something can be very toxic to self improvement.

Definitely, I have noticed this myself when I was doing my first undergrad (that I fucked up), when people would praise my for being so smart that I was 'going' to med school (lol), while I was still a first year premed. That really fucked up my motivation in the long run and I partly attribute this attitude to my failure in my first undergrad degree. Now, I try to be very vague about what I want to do. I will only mention I want to go to medical school (irl) if someone starts pressing me.

Interesting. I was thinking that you were getting more responses because of an increase in status (working a more high powered job like a lawyer). But then I couldn't account for why (assuming this is true) women would suddenly become more interested if you cold approach them.

[–]GarandTheftAvto0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yea status is like the bread and butter of male SMV. I hated seeing peoples' eyes light up when I mentioned law school, it was such a transparent indicator that my SMV had shot up and that I somehow wasn't good enough seconds ago. I am thankful for those experiences now though, easy way to get TRP'd.

Do this degree right- and do it for yourself, of course. Good luck man.

[–]Future_Alpha0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

and that I somehow wasn't good enough seconds ago.

That is what makes me mad. It's like one second a girl is turning her nose at you, then finds out you are applying to medical school and suddenly she's interested. I am half tempted to play with them and humiliate them for doing this.

[–]GarandTheftAvto0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Most, if not all, of my desires to humiliate people came from when I was in the anger phase, or relapsing into an anger phase- which is totally fair and understandable. I found it comforting to think of it this way.

What if I was good enough that they didn't turn their noses when they first looked at me? What if my SMV was so high as soon as I walked into the room they were interested? Those fantasies, while they made me feel good in the moment-

"hey, if my SMV was that high I could tell her to fuck off!"

They didn't really help me in the long run. I found it much better to imagine a version of myself that was that level of SMV, but that was amused and appreciative of the attention, even though it came from a place that was insincere. Seeing people behave in such a fickle way is also a good way to separate the good eggs from the bad, as it were, when it comes to potential LTRs.

I guess I just found that even though its frustrating, its the game. Its the marketplace, its my responsibility to be the best that I can. Far be it for me or anyone else on here to tell you how to live or how to think, but I suggest imagining you at higher SMV and being better for it for yourself, in order to begin to move past the feelings of anger. Your mileage may vary, of course.

[–]IkWhatUDidLastSummer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even when i was 14 like the girls in my class they looked to date 15-16 year olds.

[–]1Harry_Wangs6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just go for whoever you'd like. I don't know your situation, but getting girls got a lot easier each year past 18 for me. Even going from 20 to 21 things got easier.

Also don't focus on TRP theories, it might make you bitter and worse with women. Just go out, approach women you like, have fun, and live life. TRP is more useful as a safeguard so you won't get fooled by manipulative people/women.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What advice do you veterans have for a 20 yr old guy who is just getting around to these theories?

Stop giving a fuck what other people think about you. One day you will be just as dead as those you are worried about.

Should I just accept the level of chicks

Others might have different experiences but for me fucking any woman is still pre-selection. There was this one HB8 that I very briefly courted but decided closing on her was going to be more effort than it was worth. A workmate of hers was maybe an HB4; pretty face but dumpy in every other respect, yet thankfully not a land whale. At a large party where both were present, the HB4 lifted her ass to me and I let the booze do the walking; took her to a bedroom and plowed her for hours. After that (but not that night), the HB8 wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. She kept calling me to hang out. She would outright expressed her disbelief to me that I fucked her workmate. Eventually, she just presented her ass and that was that. She couldn't stand that I would fuck the HB4 and not her. Of course, being a woman, she totally skipped past the part where she was being difficult about it.

[–]burner_account991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares what anyone says about who you fuck.

Here's the criteria. Do you WANT to fuck her? Does she get your dick up?

Then there you go.

Also protip, just stop using the numeric ranking system of "she's a 6 and she's an 8". Yes we all get it, but at the end of the day, it will just fuck with your head. You'll treat some girl you think is a '10' like a porcelain doll, and then lose her to some guy who don't give two shits.

Forget the numbers. There are girls you want to fuck, and those you don't. Yes some are more desirable/ popular/ are treated differently, but you shouldn't care about that.

Most "leagues" are a bit fictitious. Perception > reality. You can be a pauper in one room, and a King in another, being generally the same guy. Maybe in a different set of clothes and randomly bestowed social status.

Take chances. Go outside your comfort zone. Make a bold move. Take up ballet or gymanstics or BJJ or something outside the box. That's how you grow and learn. Doing. Experience. Novelty. Adaptation.

[–]Philhelm17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Brad. It rhymes with Chad.

[–]satanicpriest135 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're in the gym doing progressive overload routines and counting macros while Brad is sinking 3 pointers and casually hitting on women. REEEEEEEE

[–]MRPFuckMe112 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

The gnarliest rejection I ever had. At a little watering hole in my neighborhood with a buddy. Feeling pretty good. Had just gotten a number from a HB6 in under 2 minutes.

I see a blonde HB9 across the room. Of course I notice she's hot. But then I hear her speak German. I speak German--lived in Berlin for three years. (Story takes place in the U.S.) Anyway, I think this is gonna be an easy approach.

She's with a much less attractive girlfriend and there are a couple orbiters there too. I walk up, start chatting with the less attractive friend, then turn to her and introduce myself and ask her a question in German. She responds, in English, "Yeah, I don't want to talk to you." Her friend and the orbiters laugh. I walk away, pretty embarrassed.

The only lesson I learned for the long term is that I need to work more on my SMV. For that particular interaction, I think I would have been better off chatting more with the less attractive friend for a while to establish a rapport with the group before going for the HB9. Other than that, I wished I would've been more like Brad and smirked and walked away instead of the tail-between-my-legs walk of shame.

[–]AntiBernardPollard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't have walked away. See, that could have been a shit test. At the very least, end the interaction on your own terms.

[–]productive_monkey10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

A guy who leaves with girls from the gym with regularity actually does have abundance.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of my pulls are from my gym. Many which were cold as ice on first approach and receptive the 2nd and 3rd time. f-close ratio somewhere around 60%. Brad knows the gym is a good place to pull. Every girl at the gym at least somewhat has her shit together or she wouldn't be there.

[–]wendysNO1wcheese18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

That man grew up to be....Michael Jordan.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

"My own high school team is cutting me?"


"Your loss." (Turns around dunks from FT line.)

[–]kgriffeyjr22ataol8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with some of the comments I read here. The best part of the story is how he turned around and drain the three from way downtown LMAO Straight fucking pimp

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

It would be a bit butthurt if he didn't immediately drain 3's

[–]red_matrix6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Damn, I still treat the gym as sacred and off limits for approach. Guess I need to change that!

[–]1Sir_Distic8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm the same. That's my temple where I go to improve myself. I don't even pay attention to the gym bunnies doing squats while all the other guys drool. I'm there for the iron.

I won't change that any time soon. There are other places to approach. The gym is for me and me alone. That's my take on it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen, its the 'sanctuary' for me.

[–]antariusz6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The master has failed more times than the apprentice has ever attempted...

I've definitely approached thousands of women to get my triple digit n-count... it really does eventually just become no big deal...

[–]Philhelm8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Completely unrelated, but it reminds me of the time that I made two half-court shots in a row. I used to play casual basketball with a group of friends and wasn't a great shot, but got extremely lucky that time. Some black kid who we had played against earlier was like, "What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?"

[–]cherryCanSuckMyDick2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The vast majority of people really have a hard time with the concept of sample size

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

so many times women reject men and its nothing but a default setting to see how he takes it. Its a scarecrow for Betas.

About a millisecond after Brad shrugged her off she felt the spasm of vagina tingles that only a jerk with options can provoke

[–]Chatmauve 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Or, you know, she just ended her workout and couldn't care less about sex at that very moment? She was probably more turned on with the idea of a hot shower.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You need to read up son. Women generally like to see psycho social dominance and blasting through a rejection with a devil may care attitude has gotten my dick wet many times.

[–]xelxour0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, once I did a newbie approach when I was starting out and the chick threw out the "I have a boyfriend" shit test. I froze for a second. I walked away and laughed to myself pretty heavily once I realized it was a shit test. She looked more receptive when she saw me laughing but didn't re approach.

[–]tb8767017 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy

I never got that response. I told a handful of women 'your loss' after unsuccessful attempts, whether this is 2nd date, first date, first meet, all of them did not take it well. One called me a faggy loser. Another called me a skank (yes, lol, I can't make that up) and the one who said that after 2nd date was all over how great I was then when I told her I can't get that serious that quick (she was flipping out baby crazy and wanted marriage asap and thought 1st date sex was a down-payment on that) she told me I was going to die alone. Yep, totally dying alone with a 22yr old in my bed right now and several ounces of my nut in her gut.

[–]Augustuscrassus11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nut in her gut. I gagged and laughed

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the sloppiest seconds I've ever heard of.

[–]howard_roark7141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some women love that baby batter.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon63 points64 points  (38 children) | Copy

Just so she could hear him, he calmly — without chagrin, says "your loss", as she walks away

While this is a great attitude to have internally, the fact that he needs to say it out loud is an ego defence mechanism.

All you need to say to yourself is "that happened and it doesn't matter"... and you say NOTHING.

Don't be the guy playing pool who tuts disapprovingly at himself for missing a shot, implying that he normally does better. Just take the loss and get on with life and quit trying to persuade yourself and others that you are better than you are - this is counter productive. Other people aren't fooled and you're masking reality for yourself and thus preventing improvement.

TL;DR: Do nothing, say nothing, not even "your loss".

[–]TehJimmyy44 points45 points  (1 child) | Copy

Depends how you say it. Your loss with no strings attached and smirking is genuine. Other is your ego.

[–]Dead-A-Chek7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Your loss" to a complete stranger is never gonna come off well if we're being honest with ourselves.

[–]trp_ocd14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fake it til you make it.

Your loss? Is the right mindset, even if it's not the correct thing to say. That's if she even heard it.

[–]apollosapien1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's not necessarily true. Real always recognises real.

If that was an extended dialogue in a more social setting and Brad was truly 'faking' it, the outcome would more than likely be different.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I bet Brad eventually bangs this chick.

[–]BaconMeTimbers13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Totally disagree, it depends how it's said. If it's said as if you're shrugging, then it sounds genuine and it's totally cool. However, if it's said with even a hint of saltiness, then yea I agree, it's said thru the ego

[–]Kisstafer122 points23 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ya, because to her it isn't a loss, she wasn't into him, regardless of how great he is. That's the only thing that I would change as well.

[–]anothdae12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ya, because to her it isn't a loss

A loss is a loss, regardless of whether you know it at the time or not.

[–]Kisstafer1-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're assuming that what he's offering is what she wants... She might have thought he was ugly... All women have different tastes, you can't say this conclusively with any confidence so to make the assertion makes you sound like a butthurt bluepill.

[–]anothdae0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am not assuming anything.

I am saying that "A loss is a loss, regardless of whether you know it at the time or not."

Which is why I said that and that alone.

If I wanted to comment on the situation with the guy and the girl, I would have.

[–]ShozOvr3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I prefer to say something like "well it was nice to meet you", no matter how badly it goes. That way they can't later justify their actions (especially if they were rude).

[–]Dat_Chad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

do not underestimate the hamster

[–]mr-satan5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

Doing nothing and saying nothing in that situation makes you look incredibly socially awkward.

"Your loss" is a great response.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

said it better than i could bro

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

No. It's not. It's a really terrible response because it's an ego defence which shows it matters.

[–]mr-satan8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're over analyzing. It's a casual and simple reply.

[–]330d-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shrug and smile is the correct response, shows your indifference without putting her down for no reason.

[–]mr-satan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why are you nit-picking and over analyzing this? Sure, you can shrug and smile. Whatever.

Anything but standing there with a blank look and zero feedback looking like a fool.

[–]330d-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because words have consequences and reactions regardless of your frame or alpha status. You can't just say anything and get away with it, certain things are right to say and certain things are wrong, it's best to say the things that get you the most favorable reactions and consequences. Agree on the overanalysing part, this should become a natural thing and not require any analysis. Like, I wouldn't come up with "your loss" to the girl or "go fuck yourself" to my boss in the first place, wouldn't need analysis not to say those things.

[–]TheOriginalWasBetter8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

I also agree. "Your loss" sounds pretty salty in any context.

You don't necessarily need to say nothing, but if you do it should be friendly or playful. If she's being rude you can say something like "sounds like your having a bad day, come say hi another time when you're feeling better", but you if she's being rude because you won't take a polite no for an answer then that doesn't work either.

If nothing else you can just say "well if you change your mind come by and say hi" or something to that effect. Ending the conversation with an open invitation is a great way to be approachable in social situations and maintain outcome independence. It is very common for people to be passive aggressive and mean to people when rejected and you really stand out when you aren't like that.

[–]kgriffeyjr22ataol7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is that really better to say though? So you're basically saying "hey I know you just rejected me but I will give you the time of day if you will honor me with your presence another time". I'm not trying to be smarky,I am legitimately asking if saying what you suggested could give off that desperate vibe.

[–]TheOriginalWasBetter2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not being desperate. Desperate is begging or chasing after someone after they said no. The woman doesn't even know you so why would her rejection be personal? If a woman you dated dumps you, and you're still asking her to take you back, then yeah, that's desperate, but there are dozens of reasons why a woman might not be in the mood to meet a stronger and being in a serious, "your loss" kind of mentality just makes you look insecure.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

"well if you change your mind come by and say hi" or something to that effect.

Yeah... if anything will turn it around it's this. "Ok... cool... well if you want to talk I'll be over there" demonstrates value.

It is very common for people to be passive aggressive and mean to people when rejected and you really stand out when you aren't like that.

Absolutely. I like this a lot.

[–]blacklightsleaze6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you and TheOriginalWasBetter. "Your loss" sounds salty, he said it to make her fell bad about her decision. Or he just rationalize his loss to fell better about himself. People do this all the time.

"Ok, have a good day" is far better answer in my opinion.

Imagine some sales consultant offering you product and you refuse, so he ends the conversation with "well, you lose". Sounds fucking retarded. Gypsies on the street markets do this.

[–]Crimson_Eyes2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Does it demonstrate value or desperation? Honestly curious, not debating it. I've been trying to figure out whether leaving an open offer like that is a negative or a solid plan.

[–]InfiniteAscent0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"sounds like your having a bad day, come say hi another time when you're feeling better"

That's failure to accept the situation. So is "your loss" depending on how he said it - if the tone is anything that may be seen as trying to bait her back he's blown it. If (as it sounds) he was simply stating the final score then he's fine.

[–]330d1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed - turn around, do a closed lip smile, shrug and then put that 3 in.

[–]Newreddawn4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I agree completely. Brad embarrasses himself by demonstrating how butt hurt he is by saying what he did. He needed to have the last word because that was the only way he could walk away from that situation without feeling like a complete loser. It shows his ego investment into the approach.

As the other guy mentioned, it wasn't her loss at all. It was his loss. And him saying that just made it obvious to anyone paying attention. Move on and avoid any outward signs of bitterness if this happens. Don't prove her point by acting like a whiny beta when she says no.

[–]keepstay-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

he lost, but atleast he is half-way to the point

[–]Rollo_Mayhem31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Matty is correct, any statement to her after she has rejected him (you) does nothing but lower his value because it is perceived as him 'saving face." When a girl rejects you is such an obvious way, immediately move on and don't give her another thought.

[–]BrotherFrankie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this was my thought in my other reply. who cares that happened. does not even deserve a response. no response is always better is my opinion.

[–]Casanova-Quinn0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree "your loss" isn't good, but you don't have to say nothing. If she verbally rejects you, something like "ok no problem, it's cool" is all you need. It shows you've accepted the rejection and your not bitter about it.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah... if you must say something... "ok, all cool" is good.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

FR: a few months ago I was dumped by my GF . She had be previously saying I was the one to others and myself (hint, she was just trying to reassure herself). But out of the blue she dumps me over some minimal shit.

Enter my death spiral where I develop oneitis, miss her intensely and have failed at many points of my mission since then. I tried my hardest to get her back, no contact for a bit(to manipulate, not because I wanted to), planned some fantastic dates just like what she had always asked for. She eventually tells me she wants nothing to do with me and that we're not meant to be.

My mistake was not having Abundance mentality and not having a concurrent harem.

[–]Sero-Flex3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

If he's handsome and takes care of himself how isn't he a Chad?

[–]MusicSports2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

At 28 you need to be doing financially and socially better than most guys. He probably isn't there yet.

[–]tableman7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ah yes, her "loss", some fucking dirtbag that would fuck her and leave her.

There are red pilled women out there.

[–]newmeforever1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I say the same thing to women, haha!

Glad to know I'm doing something right.

[–]LazyMagus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Question: How is it the HB9's loss? She will go on to have validation from other sources. She just decided to not waste more time with the gym player.

[–]ronsoness1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's definitely the ideal mindset. has the courage or confidence to just talk to women. persists even with no initial reaction. even when rejected, gracefully accepts it, with no need to badmouth the woman. also, the ability to just drop a 3 after trying to pick up a chick is great. stephen curry meets casanova.

[–]thatsnotfunnyatall_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I want to go to the gym where there's 8's and 9's walking around all the time. Seems statistically impossible.

[–]uwey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore your surrounding, people, and words become a special type of superpower.

"And Not a Single Fuck Was Given That Day". Bro deserves a toss while men should strive to acquire/maintain such mentality.

[–]Andgelyo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a little younger than brad, about the same height, and I'll cross brad's ankles so hard I'll have him flying out the JK Brad sounds like a total bro. These are exactly the type of men we need to surround ourselves with. I do this when I'm out with friends on the weekend, but to do this solo is awesome

[–]menial_optimist2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Brad should probably take it easy on the cold approaches in the gym. It could jeopardize his membership. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. All it would take is one, maybe two women to put in a complaint about harassment and the gym could give him some trouble. Stupid, yeah, but it's possible.

[–]TheRealBlueBadger 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

People don't complain about good looking people asking them out, especially not the type you'd approach if you're good looking.

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have no idea who this woman was or what she was capable of. Good looking for not there are people out there who will complain and throw a fit for the most unnecessary of reasons.

[–]tacko2761 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I usually go with the old "you win some, you loose some" with a smirk

[–]Im_Hitler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mannn Id love to be that guy but I dont even know where to start with those kind of approaches. I cant see myself ever being able to approach without hesitation like that but I admire people who can. Brad sounds like a champ.

[–]MonsieurAlu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is great, keep going Brad

[–]1sezamus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Rejection is not a big deal. Attraction depends on tons of factors.

Let's take two girls. In kindergarten one of them was bullied by a ginger boy, but the other one was reguraly watching a cartoon with ginger super cool guy. You approach both of them, you are handsome, your game is top notch, you are ginger and guess what happens. I think you know the answer.

We should not take rejection personally. I was being hard rejected and enthusiastically greeted by women. Some are angry because you even dare to approach some are happy as fuck. It is how it is.

[–]V1SoR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds cheesy. And what exactly is her loss? A missed opportunity to get pumped and dumped? If she acted that way, she probably already had a schedule for that night.

[–]kasper1380 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Picking up women is exactly like going fishing. Exactly.

[–]ag_blank0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How do you randomly start conversations like that?

I feel like my mentality is many times of having something to lose if rejected, how to overcome it?

[–]1Sir_Distic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just approach many, many women. You WILL get rejected. A lot. That's ok. Talk to women on the street. Talk to them in the supermarket, the gym, anywhere.

"Hey! I like your hair." or "Hi, that necklace is interesting," or "Hi. That color looks good on you." even "Hey, how's it going?"

As soon as you get rejected say to yourself: "That's ok." Smile and say "ok" or something similar. To show it's no big deal. At first it will sting. You'll feel humiliated, embarrassed, etc. Just keep reminding yourself she's just a woman. A female human. There's nothing special about her no matter what she looks or acts like.

[–]ag_blank1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Hey! I like your hair." or "Hi, that necklace is interesting," or "Hi. That color looks good on you." even "Hey, how's it going?"

This is all I needed. A starting point to build upon. Not canned lines. Thank you.

[–]LazyA10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One observation - when going after game out of your smv league, an important logistical detail is to not make it a public thing. No way an SMV9 is going to be seen not rejecting a lesser suitor in front of a crowd. Better chance to isolate first.

[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Did he do it like this:

[–]1Harry_Wangs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think he is "Chad" enough. Chad is a fictional character that doesn't really exist. You don't have to be that "alpha" to be an alpha in most women's eyes. I think TRP thinks of Chad mainly in physical characteristics, i.e., 6ft4 220lbs with 7% bodyfat.

Shorter celebrities like Kayne West, Zac Effron, Tom Cruise are not "Chad" by the typical description, but they still are your real life Chads with women.

[–]MRPFuckMe12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tom Cruise? Women? I dunno man.

[–]cashmoney_x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

IMO the ideal response is none at all. "Your loss" is just ego based nonsense.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she really was a 9 and he really is 5'9" and only attractive "because he takes care of himself" it was not her loss at all.

[–]arcluminaire0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Jesus goddamn christ dude, learn how to use an apostrophe.

[–]Dat_Chad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

to whoms't are you talking good Sir?

[–]GOATmar-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

it was her loss

not because she lost anything valuable

but because she missed out on the thrill of a hot, fun back and forth flirty sparring match with what could have been smoother, seductive guy.

to put it bluntly, brad failed to approach and establish any sort of virility. so of course she wasn't havin it.


to all you keyboard knights talkin shit, brad here still demonstrated more testosterone than any of you, and for him busting a move while you wouldnt have, he will forever continue to have a high chance of scoring more pwussy.

[–]Dead-A-Chek0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

brad here still demonstrated more testosterone than any of you

Testosterone levels as a measure of worth lol, is that really what they teach you here?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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