AITA for telling my boss a coworker rejected me... leading to her termination?

1,102 points819 commentssubmitted by RegretfulGlass to r/AmItheAsshole

Hey r/AmItheAsshole community, here's my issue:

I (29M) work in the TV industry. Recently, I temporarily joined a crew: A weird circumstance meant that someone of my skillset and union affiliation was needed ASAP, and I'm a friend of a producer, so— that's how I got the job.

On set, I ended up quickly befriending a crewmate— we'll call her Amanda (27ishF). Over the few days I was present, she seemed genuinely interested in me— even getting a little physical with a playful jostle or a hug.

On my last day on set, I asked Amanda for her number, which she gave me.

I already could have gotten it off of the call sheet, (a document given to film crews with the day's schedule and crew contact info) ...but I figured asking her specifically would make it consensual, not a creepy misuse of a professional document.

I tried texting her the next day and got a message delivery failure. I was pretty disheartened, but also confused— did she give me a fake number, or was something else at play? I checked the call sheet and found the number was accurate except for a single digit— the last one. So I figured it was probably just an error on my part when I typed it in, as I hadn't even read it back to her.

I texted the correct number, and reached her! We spoke on the phone, she laughed when I explained the one-number-off thing, all seemed well. She suggested we go out later in the week. She ended up picking a place that was already a favorite spot of mine.

The night of the date rolled around, she didn't show up, even after confirming she would in the morning.

I had texted her 20 minutes after she was meant to arrive, just a quick "Hey I'm here! You running late?" to no response. I figured I had been ghosted and that was the end of it... and was surprised to get a text the next morning, when she told me she totally forgot about our plans and her phone died... but was willing to make it up to me, drinks on her! (I turned her down at first, saying she didn't need to do that... but she insisted.)

Attempted to meet for drinks... no dice. Didn't even get an excuse, just... no further contact. At this point I decided I was done— no apologies, no more meet-up attempts. I had given her plenty of outs, but she insisted on drinks... only to not show up. I blocked her number and figured that was the end of it.

Friday night I was catching up with my producer friend, as well as two of his female friends— who he also had brought on to the production.

One of them asked about Amanda and I, noting our chemistry on set, and the other friend immediately shot her a wide-eyed, clenched look. So I pressured her [EDIT: the other friend. Not Amanda.] to tell me what was up, which she reluctantly did.

Apparently, Amanda intentionally gave me a fake number because she didn't want me to contact her, and then told other crew mates I asked her out and joked about me thinking I had a chance with her.

I explained what happened on my end— and showed the relevant texts of her confirming plans, apologizing, and making new plans. My producer friend was particularly frustrated by this, calling it unprofessional... and soon after, he fired her.

My producer's friends disagreed with the choice to fire her— as did I— and further told me I was culpable in that I shouldn't have brought these personal dating issues to the attention of a producer, especially a male producer. I argued that once Amanda was brought up and there was clearly something going on, it was only natural for me to ask about it— and to show my side of the story.

But I didn't expect him to fire her! She doesn't even report to him! Am I still culpable? Did I make a poor choice, anywhere in this? AITA? Or is she?

*** TL:DR Got rejected and stood up. Told a producer. Producer fired person who rejected me. AITA? ***