AITA for divorcing my wife because of her inability to raise her daughter?

5,664 points948 commentssubmitted by _sharing_inequality to r/AmItheAsshole

Her daughter is 16, we’re both in our 40s. Her daughter Ashley is from a previous relationship; my wife and I have been married 7 years and together for 10.

To put it bluntly, Ashley’s a huge brat. She always has this horrible attitude, never does the minimal chores we assign her (make sure her room/bathroom is cleaned and wash the dishes; that’s it), she’s always partying coming home drunk at 4 in the morning, and always bringing home different dudes to spend the night.

I don’t really have any parental authority over Ashley at the request of my wife because her father’s still in the picture, but I’m just sick of the way she treats and raises her child. She just brushes off her delinquency with “she’s just a kid.” I’m not against kids having fun, but come on; why is there a stranger at MY house at 2 in the morning?

She thinks because she’s “almost an adult”, that gives her a free ride to do whatever she wants, never mind the fact that she’s just finished her sophomore year in high school. Her mother thinks as long as she’s safe and responsible, we should just let her “find herself”, while I think she’s needs to step up and be a PARENT; enforce rules, give punishments, and actually RAISE her child besides letting her act like a fucking delinquent. We’ve had multiple talks about it, and it always ends with “you don’t get to tell me how to raise my child.” And while that’s true, I want kids and we (were) actively trying for a baby. But my thought process is: if this is the way you’re going to raise your child, what’s stopping you to raise our future children like this?

I decided I didn’t want this for myself and I didn’t have the right to parent her child, but I didn’t want my child to be raised like this. So I talked to a divorce attorney and am probably going to proceed in a divorce.

The reason why I feel like I might be TA she has no house and will probably have to move back with her parents (across the country). I got a prenup because there’s quite an income disparity between us (she works part-time at minimum wage while I work at a fortune 500). Her kid would have to uproot her life and everything she’s known. And I don’t hate the kid; I just think her parent is failing her right now.

This is our only issue, but one that’s been coming up frequently for the last year and a half. I feel like at this point, it’s just a fundamental incompatibility. AITA?