Her daughter is 16, we’re both in our 40s. Her daughter Ashley is from a previous relationship; my wife and I have been married 7 years and together for 10.
To put it bluntly, Ashley’s a huge brat. She always has this horrible attitude, never does the minimal chores we assign her (make sure her room/bathroom is cleaned and wash the dishes; that’s it), she’s always partying coming home drunk at 4 in the morning, and always bringing home different dudes to spend the night.
I don’t really have any parental authority over Ashley at the request of my wife because her father’s still in the picture, but I’m just sick of the way she treats and raises her child. She just brushes off her delinquency with “she’s just a kid.” I’m not against kids having fun, but come on; why is there a stranger at MY house at 2 in the morning?
She thinks because she’s “almost an adult”, that gives her a free ride to do whatever she wants, never mind the fact that she’s just finished her sophomore year in high school. Her mother thinks as long as she’s safe and responsible, we should just let her “find herself”, while I think she’s needs to step up and be a PARENT; enforce rules, give punishments, and actually RAISE her child besides letting her act like a fucking delinquent. We’ve had multiple talks about it, and it always ends with “you don’t get to tell me how to raise my child.” And while that’s true, I want kids and we (were) actively trying for a baby. But my thought process is: if this is the way you’re going to raise your child, what’s stopping you to raise our future children like this?
I decided I didn’t want this for myself and I didn’t have the right to parent her child, but I didn’t want my child to be raised like this. So I talked to a divorce attorney and am probably going to proceed in a divorce.
The reason why I feel like I might be TA she has no house and will probably have to move back with her parents (across the country). I got a prenup because there’s quite an income disparity between us (she works part-time at minimum wage while I work at a fortune 500). Her kid would have to uproot her life and everything she’s known. And I don’t hate the kid; I just think her parent is failing her right now.
This is our only issue, but one that’s been coming up frequently for the last year and a half. I feel like at this point, it’s just a fundamental incompatibility. AITA?
[–]Ken3058514 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Prenups get thrown out in court everyday, sadly. A friend of mine signed a prenup so that if anything happened, he would keep the condo, since he had already paid 80% of it off before they were even married. He even had proof that he was the one making the mortgage payments, after they were married, and his name was the sole name on the acct the money came out of, and the mortgage was only in his name. Judge didn’t care and he ended up selling it, giving her half, and still she is fighting a year later for alimony. This is after he helped her pay student debt off, car loan, etc. she never paid a dime for the condo, maintenance, condo fee, or even the furniture. Your list should be as follows:
Lesson 1: never marry, Lesson 2: never marry, Lesson 3: never marry
[–]Phantom_Spark9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Lesson 1. Prenups are not worth the paper they are printed on. They won’t be enforced.
[–]mckenzie_friend_au0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
In Australia they have a time limit. Also void with children.
[–]Texian_Fusilier3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Prenups get watered down more every day, sadly. Just dont marry
[–]TerminalSect332 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
For 7 years of my life i was with the worst gold digging, sociopathic broad I've ever met. Every time she tried to get me to marry her, i refused. Kicking her out was one of the best decisions in my life. AWALT.Just say no to broads.
[–]Csedilla1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
You lost me at a 16 year old coming home blatantly drunk from parties and not doing any chores in the house they're not fucking paying for. I honestly can't feel any sympathy for the shit that consquently arises from that kind of upbringing. Apparently the mother doesn't want his help.
Fuck 'em.
[–]Cuntplainer0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
EJECT! EJECT!
[–]hotassdotonline0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She is just a kid my ass.
Society is where we are because 16 year old boys were considered man in the old days and they did their fair share.
Brats today are almost worthless. Definitely more a drain than a gain on society.
Who brings home the bacon or provides the home itself should have a say in what is gonna happen.
I agree with your observation. She will consider your own kid as her kid too and she would even be right. You have no reason to expect the situation to change. Even if it works for a while at some point you will be evicted from your own place. Happened before. At the end of the day it will be her and Ashley against your word. If you are lucky you not getting on the sex offender list. You know how is works. The story never changes.