I punched a girl right in the mouth once.
Long story short, she was convinced she was the greatest martial-arts trained badass that any of us poor scrubs had ever seen, and she quite insisted on starting a sparring match with me. Wouldn't take no for an answer. Okay, whatever.
First gentle lob I threw, easy, relaxed, telegraphed to hell... pow, canvas.
I was surprised as hell. Expected her to parry it easily.
And there she sat holding her face in her hands, looking for all the world as if she was waiting for everyone to flutter around her and fan her fevered brow. When none of this was forthcoming (after a very awkwardly long time indeed), she rose to her feet and mumbled something about ...
( and I shit you not, she said this)
... how she had been down trying to control her temper after being hit because she'd didn't want to lose control and hurt anyone.
She so desperately wanted to be like the cool ninja chicks she saw in movies and comic books that she was unwilling and unable to acknowledge the gap between what she was and what she wanted to be. So instead of training hard for years and years and years, she half-assed it for a little while, then started working at convincing everyone, herself included, that she was already there.
...
Okay, now finish up your little laugh about how silly and childish women are, because now we have to talk about how some of you assholes do the same damn thing.
You think your game is good enough. It isn't.
You think you're fit enough from calisthenics. Your "general fitness" is an excuse for being weak.
You think you don't have to train MMA or Thai boxing or karate, because you "don't wanna end up like Muhammed Ali", as if anyone would let your slow ass get into the ring with Joe Frazier. You just don't wanna get hit, because you are a pussy.
Anytime you are afraid of doing something, your treacherous ego will always find a way to tell you are either already good at it, or that you don't need to be good at it.
You will never become the person you want to be until you admit you are not him, and are more afraid of staying that way than you are of the work you're going to have to do.
People keep asking "When will I become confident, and not have to fake it?" Answer is, never. Not if you know what's good for you.
When you can deadlift 300 lbs, compare yourself to the people who deadlift 400, and focus on them until you feel like shit. When you can do 400, compare yourself to the people who lift 500, until you feel like shit again. When you hit 850, compare yourself to Eddie fucking Hall.
Greatness is driven by the fear of mediocrity. The moment you think you are good enough, you will never be any better.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no magical nirvana that you will break through into, where nothing will ever be hard again. There are only standards, and effort, and improvement, or complacency, weakness, and self-delusion.
Your choice. But don't make excuses for how you are too afraid of being hit in the face.
That sentence is definitely 100% true. This needs to be understood by everyone on here.
You're bringing this from a physical prowess point of view. Ok, so what if your form of ego protection is to hide in the physical? What if you are saying to yourself, 'I'm not physically fit enough to be confident yet, I need to focus harder on the physical element of my being'. But what if you are hiding in the physical workouts from other parts of your being that need work?
Do you honestly think that squatting 500 pounds will increase your SMV significantly above being able to squat 300pounds?
Life is a series of optimisation curves. The amount of effort you would have to put in to be able to squat 500+ pounds means you're sacrificing time developing some other aspect of yourself. The goal of TRP is optimisation of sexual prowess. This means determining how much effort is required in multiple areas of self-improvement.
I personally will never be able to squat 200 pounds (due to injury) let alone 500 pounds. So what use is there in me devoting so much time to that particular aspect? I need to be focusing on areas that can significantly benefit from my effort and time. Overall, this will optimise my self-improvement goals.
Remember, this is a forum dedicated to optimising sexual success, not physical strength. So, what weak aspects of yourself are you shying away from when you hit the gym so hard?
Just something to think about/discuss.
Seriously? People believe this? Sure there are delusional people out there but they're the exception. We're logical calculating people, and if I don't want to get up and go for a run it's not because my brain is like 'nah brah you're already a marathon sprinter', never would that occur to me. My brain tells me I'd like to be able to run a marathon but the amount of effort requires is not worth the payout because I don't want it that much.
It's about prioritising what you want vs. what you have the motivation to achieve. I know exactly how good I am at various things, which ones require more effort, and which are good enough. I don't need some crappy lesson on how much I suck with a catch all slogan to tell me otherwise, and neither should you.
Greatness is driven by inspiration, not fear of anything. The great people of our time were all inspired to do something and didn't give a shit about what other people thought (sound familiar?). If you're comparing yourself to others, then you've already failed*.
*The only exception being if you're trying to reach a goal, like breaking a record, it's fine to compare your progress with others. But not self-hating because you saw a guy in the gym that was bigger than you.
"Greatness is driven by inspiration, not fear of anything"
many roads led to rome...fear is anothers inspiration...
and this is why some men have more and better sex than the sexless BP guy bitching about the other guy having more and better sex.
Do multiple great things, not one. Those great people do exactly what this post said.
Bullshit, one can 'observe' the differences without it being a negative action. If tribes don't "compare" themselves to their enemies, then they will surely be exterminated.
You know why that one guy at the gym had a bigger bicep than me? Because my from sucked, now it doesn't suck.
Actually I was just this morning thinking on a topic similar you point out but in the terms of what mindset should be cultivated together with the advice of 'LIFT!', which is typically the first thing anybody says you should do.
While it is all correct and very true that a man should work on his physique, I think it is of vital importance to work on 'why' you are doing it as well. When you are lifting because you want to raise your SMV, you are doing it because you want to women to like you, meaning you will unconsciously tie your physique to the responses you get from ladies so when you get a negative response your thoughts wander off to places like 'Am I fit enough? Maybe when I can lift more I get more women?'. Therefore, I think when you lift you should always remind yourself that the increase of SMV is a byproduct of lifting, not the sole reason, which is why it makes more sense to do it because you want to do it, not to raise your SMV. And like you said, working only on lifting to increase SMV is not a good approach, there is a lot more to SMV. The problem is though, when a newcomer finds a 'sexual strategy' sub, wanting to improve and somebody tosses him 'just go lift' response. We tend to think instantly that 'better physique = more women'. Which is true in a sense, since lifting also increases testosterone, makes you more confident and all that good stuff, BUT when the activity of lifting comes by default from the point that I made earlier, all that confidence boost withers away, because your well being is tied to success with women. And the reason for that confidence drop is the same point OP made: you set a limit to yourself, unconsciously, i.e. 'when I look better' or 'when I lift more'.
Uncoherent and too abstract text maybe, written on a phone. Also this is probably just a reiteration what somebody has said in this sub already but I think it is important and needs to be said from time to time.
Creeeeak goes the hamster wheel. If you were in arms reach, I would dole out a heavy bitch slap to your dome.
The point of this post is to hold courage as a primary value to push past your fears and into the realm of real progress.
Any bit of rationalization in the direction of "but what if I spend ten more minutes squatting instead of approaching women?!" is the exact hamster which rationalize in-action. It is your fear of squatting and of approaching women which fuel this internal debate. Fuck the fear, fuck the debate; action is the only prescription from here on out.
Yeah, I knew somebody with a brain anurism will not get the point I made when I said just subtly that lifting is still important. I knew that I had to emphasise it more. Functional reading helps though.
Ahaha close. Actually several cups of strong coffee instead of an aneurism, but I digress. I didn't actually read your whole comment.. But I did just now and I agree with you.
Women are attracted to an 'integrated' man. Meaning one who has developed himself in many areas, resulting in an aura of self esteem.
Lifting tackles the problem of physiological performance, but it is still just one part of a multipart system which needs to be improved.
I know through the experience of being fat, exercising and dieting, and becoming jacked and lean, that physical appearance certainly isn't "everything." a huge part, yes, but it is still just a ticket to get you into the front door. You've still gotta navigate the MUCH MORE DIFFICULT arena of female emotional manipulation and sexual polarity before you can start plugging holes.
After being ~10%bf and quite muscular for several months I noticed that although ioi's shot through the roof, I still wasn't fucking girls as often as I thought I would be. This is proof of the point you were making. I had snapped off a large portion of the 'integrated man' pie, but I was still lacking in my personal and professional life. I was still in school and felt like a bum not earning a paycheque. I was pissed off in general and had very little emotional connection with my friends and family. Because of these things, having abs meant very little to a women who wanted 10% abs, 60% dominant frame/ cocky game and 30% emotional connection. I could only give her the 10% abs, 30% of the game/frame and 0% of the emotional connection. Here I am, getting ioi's from girls all over the place, but when I approach, she can tell immediately that I'm a closed book and not willing to extend her an ounce of my inner self to form a real connection.
This is why some dadbod slouch can slay 9s, while some emotionally retarded Calvin Klein model gets shut down by 7s. This problem, however, is not representative of the norm. Most men are not as uptight and simply improving their appearance while subtlety shifting from nice guy to an amused asshole is all it takes.
When I'm at the gym and I see a HB9 working out, I tell myself, DO ONE MORE SET, THEN YOU CAN BANG HER IN A YEAR, MAYBE. Sexual strategy and thus the desired sexual options from plating isn't so simple. It's not just LIFT -> SWOLE -> FUCK.
My own weakness I'm shying away from: Approach with frame. I want to approach girls with relative success anywhere, any time, not just at bars or parties. How else would I plate a 22 year old foreign model who's taller than me? (5'9 checking in!)
It would be if you got over this bullshit:
You mean your own percieved weakness.
Get it out of your fucking head that 5'9 is short. It's marginally below average in a way that is easily compensated for, in ways you've already identified.
I appreciate your comment but you've left your critically thinking mind somewhere else. I stated my weakness, I didn't state I needed help.
In that case, all the best.
Your issue is manletism not your physique
You make some good points. I probably spend more time lifting than I should, and it's entirely probable that I'd be better off spending at least part of that time doing something else. However:
Part of what makes lifting so enticing is that, unlike other areas of your life, the benefit is pretty apparent and near immediate. Provided I don't injure myself in a workout, the benefit is pretty straightforward: I lift the weights, I get results. To me this is so refreshing compared to other areas of life. In other areas of life (say business, for example), you can devote countless hours of your life and still end up holding an empty bag. In contrast to almost every other area of life, the path to success in lifting is pretty straightforward. I think this is why I love it so much.
There is also a value to strength that doesn't occur in other areas of life. There was a time that I fancied myself somewhat of an intellectual. I wanted to go to law school, and I bought into that whole notion that "knowledge is power." (I never went to law school, largely because of the cost. I am currently in grad school for a similar discipline.)
While knowledge is power, it's not power in the same way that strength is. I could be the smartest, most oratorically gifted man in the world, but there would still be people who would disagree with me, who could not be reasoned with, or who—despite the best reasoning on my part—cannot be influenced, whether by sheer stubbornness or stupidity. Physical strength, on the other hand, is not like this. It does not care whether it's victim disagrees with it. It does not care whether its target does not believe in it or its power. It simply is. One trip to Youtube, Liveleak, WorldStar, or any other number of video websites is replete with examples (like in OP's story) of people wrongly estimating real power—strength—and being proved wrong. Unlike ideology, philosophy, religion, political or social viewpoints, strength proves its doubters wrong in a tangible means that cannot be conveniently ignored. I think it is this simplicity that attracts so many men to its attainment.
This forum is dedicated to be whatever it needs to be for YOU. It's a salad bar, take what you want and leave what you don't. Overall it is to improve in a number of aspects in life.
What's your injury? I'm dealing with an injury right now that's making me reconsider taking a break from lifting again despite enjoying it.
When I was 16 (quite a long time ago) I became obsessed with looking like the guys on the fitness mags. I had no idea that they were on roids and that the photos were taken with special lighting and makeup etc. I also had no idea about how to lift safely. I just thought I had to lift as hard and as much as possible.
It was only a matter of time until I just ended up fucking up pretty much every joint in my body.
I don't know exactly what my injuries are because I don't like doctors. All I know is that I lifted way too much as a young person and it has resulted in what seems to be permanent injuries. Just going through the rull range of motion of various joints results in sharp pain, let alone lifting weight.
However, this has lead me to understand that the damage done can't really get any worse if I don't lift too heavy. I can inflame the injury but as long as I keep very good form and not too much weight I can perform workouts. I just have to put up with pain that non-injured people don't have.
With this attitude I have made good improvements in range of motion and strength in the last couple of years. I've just recently added trampoline jumping to my repertoire. It's great because it doesn't jar the joints.
I'll see how far I can get just going very slow. Who knows, maybe I'll recover enough to squat 200 pounds before I hit 40. Something to look forward to!
Go to the doctor, I understand not liking doctors I come from a family that goes to the doctor when the only alternative is the morgue, my father at 59 ran 10 miles every morning, and hit the gym for 90 minutes every afternoon, one day he fell on the shower, complete tear on the deltoid, "nah I'm good, I'll just do the rest of the exercises" 6 months later knee injury, he was compensating while running because the movement caused pain "I'm good I'll just cycle" 2 months later due to previous back injury can't go to the gym, a year ago at 62 I finally convinced him to go to surgery, now he runs, he lifts and he is my fucking hero. Get checked out, who knows maybe those 200 before you hit 40 turn into 400.
Are you as much of a boss as your dad?
Youtube your injuries on these two channels.
Athleanx.. natural lifter who has a degree in physical therapy.
and..
Physicaltherapyvideo.. they make corny Dad jokes but they know what they're talking about.
I always avoided athlean x due to the bad sound on his (older) videos but fuck he is so knowledgable, accessible and chill. Great dude and resource
Boo hoo motherfucker. You were doing shit wrong once before. Admit you are doing shit wrong now.
Hey, we are on same page. With a fucked up back (sciatica) + bad knee due to an accident and tendinitis of right shoulder, I've started to accept that i have to keep my form with light weights. Not try anything heavy.
Form, reps, and rest.
Daily walks and keep your diet under control.
You're obviously a smart dude from what you're writing, what the fuck is your second comment?
Go to a doctor.
People talk about the success stories of orthopaedic surgery. But have you ever seen the failures? I have. I have wheeled bodies into the morgue of people who died from complications due to surgery. I've seen people tied up in bed for 8 months due to infection.
There's a study where the surgeon randomly assigned patients to a fake knee arthroscopy vs a real one, without telling the patients. Pain was reduced equally in both groups...
This multicenter, randomized, sham-controlled trial involving patients with a degenerative medial meniscus tear showed that arthroscopic partial meniscectomy was not superior to sham surgery, with regard to outcomes assessed during a 12-month follow-up period. Although both groups had significant improvement in all primary outcomes, the patients assigned to arthroscopic partial meniscectomy had no greater improvement than those assigned to sham surgery.
Because this journey never ends until you take your last breath. There are far too many BP fucktards that want the magic dance steps that will fix their lives for ever more. It does't work like that. We always press ahead.
Excellent post, dude.
raged cus i failed a 185 Dead lift 3rd time in a row and i know guys pull 300 with ease.
Just picked myself up, finished my lifts and downing my tuna now.
One thing i learned about the climb to the top : the grind never ends.
It never fucking ends.
Check your form man, unless you are extremely small you most likely are just doing it wrong if your failing a dl that low. Big issue with that is getting stronger while doing it wrong will just make it likelier you'll injure your self.
What is your height, weight, and how long have you been lifting ?
Well, im 5'10, at 151 lb , been lifting serious for 1 month, and on and off for a year.
1 month??? and you expect to lift 185 DL? I have been lifting for the past 11 months and my recent PR was 160lb DL.
It was a major victory for me! Take it slow and easy my man
The average adult male should be able to pull 185 first time. If not, defintely within a month or two. Train harder and eat better
The average adult male in the US is a 5'9" 195lb fat sack of shit.
Man you want people to end up in snap city?
Alot of.lifting is good form and slowly building up with consistency.
you need to bulk and slow progress with good form...
also only 1 month and you expect results? this stuff takes time and consistency.
I recommend logging your lifts and using maybe things like symmetric strength ap or jefit app to track your progress
A month.. yeah give it time. No girl gives a shit how much you can DL.
A year ago I DL 465. Know how many girls cared or even knew..
No girl gives a shit if you dead lift 465 but i bet you LOOKED like you could do it too
Have faith! I got seriously back to the gym four months ago. I was 5'10, 133lbs (I'm Asian), but had some starting strength from just balling and pushup/pullups. I started from 35lb plate to 2x45 plates because I was super consistent about it.
Now I'm 145 and as a sidenote, honestly, once I gained this strength and some muscle bulk, I don't want to go any heavier. Stronger definitely, but I hate force-feeding myself. That's why when I read stuff like heavier lifts by any means, I don't really connect with the sentiment. Yes, I get that you should always shoot for something more, but at a certain point, you need to know what you really want in terms of your own body and fitness goals. My next goal is to eat healthier and lose body fat while perfecting my forms for the heavy lifts. I've gotten semi-injured because I was so obsessed with going heavier everytime I went to the gym. My two cents.
Go to Candito website and do the program until you stall, then a good thing would be westside for skinny bastards.Eat at a surplus, GOMAD if you don't want to count calories.Learn form and work on mobility, Candito's program is very good for form because you will do paused deadlifts, and other small exercises for your weaknesses.
Deadlifts in the 300s are mostly intermediate level based on the strength scoring sites. I pull 400 as an intermediate (but I'm tall). Mid 400s to 500s are considered advanced numbers.
You don't have to PR every single day. Not every work out is going to feel good. Hell, it's the workouts where you feel like shit and force yourself to hit the gym where you gain the most - esp from a mental perspective.
I pull and squat around 600 and bench right around 400. I don't do it to impress girls (99% of girls don't value any of that), I do it b/c:
1) I love lifting; 2) it provides structure to my life; and, 3) it gets me in the gym.
B/c of these reasons, lifting gives me confidence and it allows me to learn more about myself during my own personal journey. Your SMV (not even sure what that means, I assume it means style, fitness, wealth, etc.) doesn't mean shit if you aren't confident. Confidence is the glue / catalyst that allows you to demonstrate that value.
So... I know the feeling about failing dead lifts that you THINK you should be making. Let that fuel you. Don't listen to these dogmatic keyboard warriors talking about this or that. If you are worried, go see a powerlifting coach. Most importantly, keep on grinding.
Like you said, it never fucking ends.
Do deadlifts twice a week. The first day, go 5 for 5 on whatever weight you can handle. Try to add 5 pounds every set. If you feel like it's too much at whatever point during your workout, drop the weight a bit. Whatever weight you stopped at on your 5th set should be your starting weight next week.
The second day of the week, drop the weight by about 50% and go high reps or until failure for 4-5 sets.
Put your entire posterior chain under pressure in a high rep range and work your way up to 185 on your heavy days. Alternate with squats too as they activate some of the same muscle groups as deadlifts (namely hamstrings and glutes). The days you do heavy deadlifts, do light squats. The days you do light deadlifts, do heavy squats.
And "heavy" is relative. What's heavy for you and me might be light as fuck to that dude in the corner curling what I just benched.
It's better to keep good form and lift lighter than what you'd like to lift at this point in time than to fuck up your back and not be able to lift at all. I learned the hard way. I was so eager to join the 315-lb club sooner rather than later that I strained a lower back ligament. Nothing too serious, but it kept me out of the gym for a few weeks (which felt like forever). Don't rush it. It takes time to get there.
This post is luring out the weakness. Mods, time to play whack-a-beta.
To be fair, very good post. However, I've done Krav Maga, MMA and boxing. It's really great at improving reflexes and taking split second chances. Just like with game only consistent exposure can truly improve you. However, I'm not even 20 and I've dealt way too many blows to my head to the point where if I hadnt stop I'd be mohammed ali in a few years (apparently getting hit in tue head isnt too healthy). Now I dont fight as often anymore, but focus on grappling and quick takedowns, no more full on sparring (although it's what I Iove most). I certainlymade some errors inmy career, so I'd say any martial art is great, but keep your head safe. For the rest of the body- the human body, especially when well conditioned can take a shit load of beating
Looking into training MMA/boxing.. is there anyway to progress without taking blows to the head like that? I want to learn the fundementals so i can better defend myself, without having concussions lol
I trained in MMA and boxing since the age of 9. Took a few years of hiatus since I became a smoker (and a bit of a troublemaker) but I've been longing to get back into it. My speed, mobility and flexibility have gone to shit. I used to be able to do the full splits. Now I can't even touch my toes without bending my knees a bit.
How would you say is a good way to progress back into it? Should I do solo training for a little while, or join an MMA gym and dive headfirst into it?
Solo for fitness and basics sounds good. Then join up at a club and start from the bottom
It's the same thing with status and money. The last three paragraphs of this post could be attached to a post on gaining money, power and status. The world is full of lazy, scared little drones. People who are employees are basically someone else's bitch. If you are an employee (nearly everyone on this subreddit) then someone is making money off you. People are too scared to take the salary drip our of their arm and become self employed. Every time I put a post up about status and money all I hear is fucking excuses, which is why I don't do it anymore. Power and status is like lifting and fighting, either you have the balls to do it, or you don't. Hamster all you like and say shit like "I like my job" or "Money doesn't make you happy". Money does make you happy, just that most people don't have the guts to go out there and get it. So if you are under 25, start making plans to build your own future. It will take hard work and trial and error. Don't be someone else's bitch, be your own man.
EDIT: I do not want to hijack u/Whisper post. For any of you who have questions about business check out my post history and read the ones about money, status and business. Better still, go to the entrepreneurs, finance and business subs. Business is tough, most will fail, that is no reason not to try.
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Your last paragraph is a summary of the intention of this comment. It is not motivational spew. Most people who start a business will fail. Most people below 25 should focus on exactly what you said, experience, connections and working capital. I expressly stated "if you are under 25 start making plans". Not go out and blow your $5k savings on a tech start up.
What if you're in your early 30s and useful to everyone but yourself?
you will meditate. you will breathe deep, and envision your dreams. you will make your dreams reality.
Then stop being so agreeable and trying to force everyone to like you. Learn how to embrace confrontation.
Hahah yeah! Fuck you bitch!
Am I a man now? :/
There's a fine line between not being afraid of confrontation, and going out and looking for it. Only a man child will attempt to find confrontation, while a real man doesn't need to because he's James Bond and is too busy for that petty shit.
You got much to learn kiddo
I'd add that you should never take a paycheck only for money. 3 years on a good salary where you didn't grow is 3 years lost. Money will come as you gnaw your way up the food chain so any time you evaluate jobs, think if it's the kind of job where you'll learn new things and grow to be better at what you do.
If it's not, is it the kind of job that's gonna let you practice what you learn on your own time? If it's not, leave it to the drones that do repetitive motion for years and move on.
Have an upvote sir because this is where I'm at at the moment. Yesterday it crossed my mind that I deserved a raise, because what I do where I work doesn't have a visible impact BUT makes important shit work. Anyways, I went for it today. I asked my boss if he had 5 minutes; we talked and I just cut the bullshit and told him what I wanted and why I wanted it. Long story short I got shot down. He said he would consider that 'in the future when company numbers are higher' and numbers start getting better... you know, the usual bullshit. My boss (actually, I'm referring to my boss's boss with whom I talked about the raise) is too stupid or greedy to give me that raise, I knew that already before going for it, but I took the chance anyway just the for the fun of it.
Anyways, there's another co-worker that, like me, wants to make his own money. No more working for somebody else except himself and I we have a product idea that would make us good money in our target market... but the motherfucker is kinda afraid of going thru with it... and I too to be honest. Leaving our jobs to try out our idea would be financial death right now. It's not that I don't want to try my luck, after all, I've got the skills to build like 60 - 70% of the project and I'm waiting if my co-worker makes up his mind about it (if he doesnt, I could become skilled enough to make the full project). BUT, again, leaving our jobs right now would be financial death because I live in a shitty country with an economy more fragile than a betas ego after being rejected by some broad in the streets and not seeing shit happen in several months if we go thru with our bussiness idea doesn't look too good.
Shit is... I don't know if can't wait that much to make this shit happen... and I'm starting to get tired of my job as of lately. So I guess I kinda know the answer already..... I just don't know how to pull this shit off.
Find another partner or an investor to float your bills
Are you sure you're ready for this if you can't do basic problem solving?
I can build [60 - 70]% of the product. I even showed my co-worker a basic working prototype of it just to let him know that I'm serious. For the rest I don't have the skills right now... though it's something I can become skilled at in a couple months, who knows, maybe less. What do you mean by "basic problem solving" here?
What's funny is that this is coming from the same kool-aid keg that "living happily ever after" comes from. Hollywood/Disney type of shit that tries to rewire your brain from a young age.
Well it's true in a sense that money doesn't directly give you happiness. Money gives you freedom. With that freedom you have more time to find happiness, if you choose to. But it's still not guaranteed, in that the money itself doesn't give you some sort of pleasure. The paper that money is printed on has little to no intrinsic value, except maybe as a coke straw. Only when you have the ability to spend money on something enjoyable will it bring happiness. So did the money bring the happiness? Or was it the freedom to enjoy yourself more without financial constraints?
good question. maybe the stocks are going to crash for good sometime soon... and money won't matter except to the psychopathic trillionaires who have hoarded it all and play the world like it's their chess game
You make some solid points, so I want to know why you only direct this at those under 25. What about those of us already around 30? Too late?
So, we see that "too late" is YOUR chosen excuse.
Did I say that? I was asking a question regarding the language he used in his post. I never said I agree with it. In fact I disagree, but I wanted to give him a chance to explain before jumping to accusations.
Semantic questions are dull and irrelevant.
So dithering on technicalities is a pastime of yours.
Don't get mad if it suddenly seems like I'm attacking you. You're the one making this conversation about you.
Thanks /u/Whisper for the kick in the ass.
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I make money off every single one of my employees, if they are not making me money, I terminate their employment. Doesn't that make them my bitches?
They are not your bitches. It is mutually beneficial transaction. If you don't give enough money them or you treat them like bitches they will quit and you need to spend 1-3 months recruiting new people, wait 0-2 months until they can finally start (their 2 month notice period is over in their previous company) and you have to spend 1 month to train them and don't expect any exceptional result from them in the first 6 months.
Also during this period your other workers might be overworked because of increased work load, so they are more likely to quit, which makes things even worse.
I don't know in what field you work, but my field looks like this. Maybe for example cleaner can be recruited easier, trained easier and produce great work way earlier.
You fail to grasp the meta narrative here. You never tell a bitch they are a bitch, you don't treat them like they are a bitch either (unless you don't care about losing the bitch). My employees are just like my bitches, they are treated well, they like to be led, they trust me as their leader. A happy bitch is a productive bitch. I was a bitch for many employers before I became an employer myself. The slaves of Rome lived better than the free folk barbarians.
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Got it. I thought you treat them bad.
If you were my boss I'd probably steal from you and do the least amount of work possible while not getting fired. Guess that make you my secret little bitch.
I'm self employed as well you say, let's look at your recent post:
So you make a few thousand per month and $30K is the most you have ever had to your name. By your own admission your business is struggling and you make less than someone who flips burgers part time. You come in here and mouth off at me you stupid little cunt. Then you mouth off at another endorsed contributor. You have no place here, you need to shut the fuck up and learn.
I'm self employed as well you say, let's look at your recent post:
So you make a few thousand per month and $30K is the most you have ever had to your name. By your own admission your business is struggling and you make less than someone who flips burgers part time. You come in here and mouth off at me you stupid little cunt. Then you mouth off at another endorsed contributor. You have no place here, you need to shut the fuck up and learn.
Haha, the fact that you had to spend the time to go through my post history and search for an old post to make your self feel better just shows how sad and angry you are. Only a miserable piece of shit would take the time to do that.
My SaaS started booming and made me 20k this month, and 15k the last month. I'm not going to look through your post history, because I can already tell you're a loser who tries too hard.
Did I hit a nerve?
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Yeah if he doesn't need his employees or benefit from them in any way and is just paying them a wage out of pure altruism, why doesn't he just fire everyone and do all the work himself?
Starting my own business as soon as possible.After Years of seeing people, who believed in the system, getting bad wages/salaries and an average life after years of going to college and paying absurd tuitions. All of this has awakened me about the fact that in order to get the freedom of business owners I will have to work harder than anyone I know.
You're looking at the wrong people. The trick is to be the best at what you do. The best plumber drives a new mercedes.
Low wages always mean one thing - that you can be replaced by someone at that low wage. Once your contribution makes it hard to replace you, you earn more.
FTFY.
I am 41 and I am busier than ever with so many projects in so many different fields, that I've got no fucking clue, what the future will bring.
Everything is just gaining traction and is looking great and I have had so many "first times" in the last two years, that I sometimes am in disbelief that this is actually my life now.
I of course have a greater plan in mind, but to be honest, so many things happened that I never calculated with beforehand, that it is subject to constant change, because even greater possibilities present itself.
It really feels as if something great is waiting for me. That is a feeling I never had in my life. I'd been dreaming of greatness, but I never felt as if it is waiting for me and - even more importantly - that I deserve it.
If you want any advice PM me. I'm running a very successful group of companies, I own them all, built them all from scratch. More than happy to give you whatever advice I can to help. Being at the top of a really big empire you built yourself is better than being in top of a HB10 (and having that empire secures access to more HBs than not having it).
Good to know. Much appreciated. Thank you.
I am not fully self employed yet, although I do have a small "company" that I use to make money on the side. I'm thinking of turning it into the real deal, along with many other things. Do you have any advice? I will not make excuses
I’m going to give you the advice no one gave me.
Business is about convincing a person, whether in front of you or half way around the world, to take some of his money and place it in your hand thereby giving himself less. It’s very red pill when you think of it that way. Everything else in business is bullshit. Your company name, your business cards, your strategic partnership, this guy with this project for you, the “right way”, it’s all bullshit. That stuff matters some but not as much as the check in-hand being taken to the bank.
Being in business is not the same thing as doing what you love and not having a boss. Being in business is about working with people to handle the aspects you suck at in order to build a product and that product IS YOUR BUSINESS. People think running a business is about the glory and the freedom. No it’s about building a machine that delivers the thing the customers want without you. Starbucks doesn’t sell coffee they sell consistency. Being self employed and pretending to be in business is a unique kind of slavery.
When I first started business I made less per year than I made in my former job, and worked a lot harder. There is an old but accurate joke about self employment - you can work whichever 80 hours per week you like. Then I began to figure things out, I got better and better at finding niches and forming good business relationships. Now I am a genuine entrepreneur, it was hard to get here, but I enjoyed the ride. Self employment is a step towards true financial success, not a goal.
How did you get through those years when you were not earning a lot? Most people would have lost motivation not worked harder.
Also any advice on forming good business relationships? The few that I got into, the assholes more or less wanted to screw me over or use me. So now I find it hard to trust anyone when it comes to forming business relationships.
My main question is, how can I form something that's genuine without either of us trying to screw the other one over?
You learn the most when you are worries about money. That's when you are forced to find new ways to make money. Business relationships are for me a gut feeling. For bigger companies it is OK to just try it out, they have a reputation and they will drive a hard bargain, but not rip you off. Middle to low size enterprises, or individuals is where you need to be careful. I find drinking with them, or having meals together is the best way, people are never keen to screw someone they see regularly.
This subject is worth writing your own about.
I own my own business and make a very nice salary while working less than a few hours per day, so I am talking from experience:
Your advice is absolutely shit. There are many employees who make 120k a year, and many more "entrepreneurs" who make less than minimum wage.
Get off your high horse, you come across as a giant douche bag and any self respecting woman can probably smell it on you from across the street.
I am guessing you are new here
Who wants a woman with 'dignity'?
Girl, why you frontin'? Baby show me somethin'.
Notice how all these new idiots always say "women can smell ur insecurity from a mile away you prick alpha bro", or some variation thereof?
Like no, women smell my confidence and get wet.
I'm convinced that they are the same person, if not they are brainwashed as hell....
i don't respect women.. i don't even expect them to respect themselves... im an equal opportunity sexist
Who the fuck upvotes bullshit like this? The level of retardedness is peaking lately.
First off: who gives a fuck about the numbers you presented? You did'nt understand shit. That is all that it shows. Being your own boss and working to fullfill your own dreams instead of those of a stranger, is about much more than about money.
Secondly: What the fuck would you retard know about what any woman would want from a man? Being a penis-woman yourself does not automatically qualify you to give advice on what your fellow cunts want. In fact that sentence alone shows that you do not have a fucking clue and should not even post here, but shut the fuck up, read and learn.
Although it would take self-awarenes in order to identify that problem, so no biggie that you cannot.
Noone gives a fuck about your bitchass opinion
Obviously you do ;)
Also learn to spell, niggahhh.
niggahhh(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml-bjRSD07g)
niggahhh
how did this even turn into a discussion about women
Starting my own business for this very reason.
Also consider crime. You can start a business in the legal economy, or flourish in the illegal economy. You can network with influential people in both realms to get ahead however you can. Only rule to abide by is don't get caught.
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In my post history scrub, watch your fucking mouth
No need to act like an Internet Tough Guy, here. He was just asking a question.
He asked sarcastically.
Is LiveAFT sucking your dick? Cause you're standing up for him like he's your mouthy bitch. Why don't you tell your mouthy bitch to calm her tits and let the menfolk talk.
Also tell them when being sarcastic, try to spell more than half the words correctly.
These blue and purple pilled faggots love to get together for a circle jerk. They are not used to talking like men, it hurts their fee fees
So if I am under 25, fuck it? /s
There are limits. At least with the physical shit.
Tell me about it. I made $50k last month and I’m like “WTF is wrong with me why didn’t I make that much this month? How do I make more? Why don’t I have a Porsche? Fag”
trolling? how 50k? needing ideas to reach financial success. ready to put work in. thanks
Not trolling. I’ve worked hard for 20 years to get to this point. I know of no hacks. Put your shoulders forward and grind, save your money, and keep your head on a swivel for the next step up. Nobody gets lucky, those stories are bullshit.
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This is the sort of shit that makes you understand why the vikings were complete badasses and the world was lucky (or unlucky) that there were too few of them.
yeah.. too bad the jews took over. we should have run them out of europe like the other 109 countries throughout history
I'm calling B.S. on this...unless you mind explaining your trip a bit?
1600 miles is a fuck ton. That's like trekking from South California to British Columbia. You better have plenty of equipment and money to float you in times of distress.
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+1, I'm impressed. Do you do much blogging, journaling, YouTube? I would love to follow your journey on this.
This has got to be one of the most selective and defined niches out there. I've done some extreme stuff before but nothing on this scale. God speed bro. Much respect. Thru-hiking sounds cool, I'll have to try it one day.
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Unless your goal is to get tougher. I'd say self defense and confidence are pretty healthy.
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Buddhism (something I'm into) is often referred to as The Middle Way.
This and many other points in this post are absolutely fucking spot on.
Every day I come to TRP hoping to find an article like this that will actually help my life if I act on the advice therein.
Sometimes I find it. This post is a great lesson in productive brutal humility for me.
That is some lame machismo. How can you connect with a girl genuinely if you have that attitude towards her?
Being a man isn't about having an overinflated ego, that's some fuckboy shit. Being a man, coming into your own, is about defeat. Be defeated, surrender, allow yourself to lose. Losing is learning.
The ultimate goal is not crushing pussy. Cocaine and limos in vegas will get you results much faster than any long term path, but it stunts your growth. You don't change. Fixing your logistics gets you results like crazy, but again, you don't change. You need balance.
How much have you changed over the past year? How many genuine friends do you have? Stop trying to compete, we're all on the same team. We're in this together, on a spinning rock orbiting a fireball shooting through the nether. Her friends will want you to fuck her if they are on your side. They will encourage her to do it. Make it win-win.
There are so many sad, miserable people in this world. So many people just trying to take, take, take. Permanent scarcity.
You are enough. As a child, you're enough. As an adult, you're enough. The only thing you need to attract a woman is your mind.
Open up your heart, start giving love. Smile with your fucking body. Take an interest in people, show them the path to happiness. Be the light in the fucking darkness. Fuck machismo, fuck this clown alpha with the personality of a bitchboy shit.
Lose, lose hard, lose majestically, lose harder than anyone has lost before, and you will gain unwavering confidence; you will understand that you will be okay, no matter what life throws at you.
It's not about the result, but the action. It's about the journey, coming into your own, being someone who people can rely on. Being a man who people can depend on. This is the true alpha; the leader. Emanate love, happiness, and people will gravitate towards you. You can change people's lives.
But not if you are competing with them, not if you're a sad sack of shit who found a hack to use people. Learn to give, and learn to take. Always be improving, share the gift of joy. Girls will fuck you to thank you. Guys will collaborate with you. You will have an amazing lifestyle.
I lost it when he said "Girls will fuck you to thank you"
Like niga noooooo
lmfao!!!
Bruh...
Gotta disagree with the idea of always going higher up. You can make it higher this way, but you will never ever reach the top of the pyramid. Chasing the carrot forever whilst explaining to yourself that you are not happy and fullfilled now, but you just gotta work harder to reach a point which will ever self-replace itself to the next higher point. Misery and desperation as motivation will run you down over time.
"I am/This is good enough" is the right mindset. You simply cannot use it as an excuse to not do more. Fuck comparing yourself to the next better guy just as much as fuck comparing yourself to the next guy that is worse than you. Fuck that Ego-Bullshit. Be happy with the 300 lbs deadlift and enjoy what you have. And from that enjoyment be inspired to grow this number even bigger. And then bigger. Take a moment on your path to appreciate what you achieved and don't become desperate running and running and running for the stupid carrot of "Im not good enough". Can't say how bullshit (in my personal OPINION) it is to say: "That is right. You are never good enough! Hate yourself! Compare yourself! Tell yourself you need to be more than you are! RUN MORE!" Ugh. Shit is no race. Shit is a marathon. Appreciate every single mile, don't appreciate the goal alone.
For me improvement accelerates when I’m angry/in anger phase, anger is a dense energy, if channeled right, it leads to greatness, be it in better lifts, reading books to cool it down, focusing in career / study etc
I feel the same. It is like I am supposed to live a life full of hate and rage if I want to be productive.
As soon as I feel good and proud of my good work I start to slack and half ass everything.
Feeling good is counter productive, as if I am meant to suffer.
Everything good I ever did was because I kinda of doubted I could do it.
I am managing to keep myself in this enraged state for long periods of time, but what scares me the most is that I walk around like a bomb, just waiting for a little spark to explode on someone.
You remind me of the Pendulum Theory, where the pendulum stop point (the no motion, in the middle) it was called The Comfort Zone, so to focus and continue to improve ourselves, we need to suffer.
It makes sense.
But I am worried of keep pushing into this dark side and someday not be able to come back, as explained here by sadhguru https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzvT0vy5cjE&t=1s
Maybe it is the price I have to pay for the road I picked for myself.
Life is all about sacrifice.
I plan to rewatch The Matrix soon and see if I can learn any lessons from it.
Are you 13? What is it that makes you afraid this much?
Gotta give her credit. She did, in fact, do exactly what you're telling everyone here to do. She trained, aspired, and got punched in the mouth by a tough guy who was too arrogant to restrain himself.
Who lost his agency?
Yeah. Good point. u/Whisper makes pretty consistently great content, but he sure seems eager for us all to know how great and accomplished a warrior Ubermensch he is. He's quite convincing, so it lends some credibility to his arguments, but it can be the tiniest bit ridiculous at times.
Your point here seems to boil down to 'calisthenics is shite lol', which is in stark contrast to the otherwise very well-written post. I don't even understand why you brought it up in the first place.
What matters most is hypertrophy, and if you're getting to muscular hypertrophy with calisthenics, then I don't see what the problem is.
This to me sounds like exchanging one rat race for another, I've heard it called the 'slippery pole' in Buddhism, no matter how high you climb it's never enough. I think developing an abundance mentality is far healthier than fostering this never ending insecurity. What's the point of taking the red pill if you're trading one kind of misery for another?
The whole fucking reason they the human spirit is great is because we're never satisfied. We were born to strive and conquer and face down chaos until our last dying breath.
That's how many leaders use passive religions, to keep the poor and weak complacent to prevent competition.
This post is a path to madness...But, go for it..Don't stop reaching for the stars..
go fuck urself bully, U just need to compare yourself, you shouldn't be comparing yourself to somebody else
No, I don't want to get hit in MMA because you're an ignorant dumbass. I've already had 4 concussions in my life and I don't want any more. I'd rather spend my time training in a serious martial art like Kung Fu or Tai Chi.
This is shitty advice. How much do you deadlift? When was the last time you even tried without a belt or a grip?
Confidence is arguably the most masculine trait of all. You SHOULD have it. It is derived from strength. Not just physical strength - being great at whatever it is you value. There's a reason that a confident 7 gets more action than a wimpy 9.
Only 1 thing I disagree with
Now tell me this isn't fit. https://www.youtube.com/user/GeekAMD
Not only do you suck, and you're weak, as you get older you will be able to do progressively less until you get to the point where someone has to wipe your ass for you.
The less capable you are by 30 the earlier that point catches you. I've met hundreds of guys who assumed they were badasses without ever getting into a fight. They have the fastest heap of shit, but never raced anyone. They think they're stronger than anyone ever could be, but haven't competed. The first thing you learn at the track, on the mat, or in the ring offs that you're nowhere near as good as you thought you were. The second thing you learn is there is always someone faster, stronger, or better trained than you. When you get complacent due to over confidence, you will lose.
If you've never stepped into the ring, you don't know fuck about shit. If you get to my age and haven't competed, its grip fucking late.
I signed up for a gym membership back in Jan 2016, a month after I discovered trp. I followed Stronglifts 5x5 and did my first deadlifts, squats, and other barbell lifts, popping my weightlifting cherry at the young age of 35. Fast forward 22 months and I'm fucking jacked now...
... which would be completely untrue. I'm just a little more muscular, not even that noticeable, that's all. Why? Because I can't get my lazy ass to the gym more than 2x per week. There were several times where I've gone 2, 3 weeks without lifting. I'm fucking pathetic. Hardest part about lifting isn't lifting, it's just going to the gym.
Yep, with most things I think, the hardest part isn't exactly the actual physical work/mental work that you deal with, but it is the startup energy required to just get your ass to do that thing that you wanna do.
Especially when the gym is far away
She want sparring and you punched her in face? Dude whats wrong with you? Bruise her arm/leg/chest.
Yeah. That is pretty fucked up. As a chemically enhanced male fitness enthusiast, OP has a responsibility to not use excessive force.
Soooo always feel like shit..?? Just for the sake of improving. When do I get to be proud of myself and feel good
Really?
Here, let me fix that for you:
When you can deadlift 300 lbs,celebrate your victory, then compare yourself to the people who deadlift 400, and focus on them until you feel like shit. When you can do 400, celebrate your victory, then compare yourself to the people who lift 500, until you feel like shit again. When you hit 850, celebrate your victory, then compare yourself to Eddie fucking Hall.
Or I could just focus on a goal and skip the whole "feel like shit" phase..seems kinda unnecessary
You're projecting.
When I see someone who can do what I want to do, I don't felt like shit. I feel both admiration and motivation.
Adjust your perspective.
To be fair, he is responding to a comment that specifically tells him "until you feel like shit." Original comment is not saying "When you can deadlift 300 lbs,celebrate your victory, then compare yourself to the people who deadlift 400, and focus on them until you feel admiration and motivation."
Fucking Christ, nerd.
The first thing you and he need to learn is not to take language at face value. Take the spirit of the message as a base and overlay your values onto it until it becomes something that suits the goals you aim to achieve.
If you don't learn this, you will be alone forever.
lol, quit trying so hard bro. If you had taken the time to read the article them you would have read the exact quote from OP, which was "focus on them until you feel like shit."
not only are you not correct, you also lack critical reading skills. context is important, and you're ignoring it. look at the majority being spoken to on the sub here, you, if unable to identify or imagine identifying with the 'till you feel like shit' are not the party for the particular reference -- and that's okay, but don't use that as a path to be a cocksucker.
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I wouldn't say that. Sounds too negative for me (does this make me a pussy?)
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Or celebrate fucking up your back because you’re too fucking stupid to know your physical limits. I get the point that is being made, but the example of weight lifting is pretty dumb.
So lifting weights equates to not being smart. And striving to progress leads to injury? That's a mighty convenient way to excuse yourself from trying.
You will plateau eventually. You're retarded if you think that the only thing stopping someone from lifting 850 pounds is that they're a pussy.
You know how in the beginning of the story OP noticed that the girl was unable to acknowledge the gap between what she was and what she wanted to be? A lot of these guys want to be the guy who can lift 850, and are unable to recognize that sometimes things like biology are legitimately going to be barriers.
Be the best you can be, and never stop trying. Your first limit is never your real limit, but that being said, this whole notion that "limits aren't real" is probably going to cause a lot of integration into general society problems for a lot of men who actually believe it. At the risk of being anecdotal, I've always found honestly and high reaching, but realistic goals has served me and some of my friends far better than those who set unrealistic "the stars are the limit" goals.
No. Well, thinking that someday you could lift 850lbs.+ deadlift when you are 160lbs. is dumb. I just was saying it’s an odd way to make the point he was making. Not insinuating any sort of unintelligence. His point, and correct me if I’m wrong, is to never settle for normal I think. Never be content. Always strive to be the best or better than you were, each and every day. When it comes to weights I think one should maybe not focus on how much you lift and and at a certain point go for reps or just consistency. As you get older you have to focus more on just being in shape. You don’t want to injure yourself.
You missed the entire point of the post.
It doesn't say to feel like shit, you're literally demonstrating what was talked about. Don't get complacent. That's it. Complacency kills.
You literally wrote "feel like shit"
Edit: not you, I meant OP
Listenin' like a sperg...
boom headshot
He wants a medal of participation for kinda lifting?
He is simply unable to grasp nuance.
Spergs have trouble with context. They tend to respond solely to what was literally said, in a vacuum, rather than to what is a reasonable interpretation of intent, given the speaker and the context.
This is because they have trouble judging speakers, and contexts. So, often, as a form of ego defense, they refuse to acknowledge that these things matter, instead of simply accepting that they are bad at reading them (and working to get better).
You cannot teach someone like this, because he does not understand how human communication works. He will forever be tangled in irrelevancies and details and endless quibbling, until the day he says to himself, "Hey, maybe the rest of the world isn't talking wrong. Maybe I just suck at understanding what it means."
Just got out of the gym and I'm dumb right now. I don't believe OPs intention was to have you "feel like shit" in a mental sense, but more like work until you feel like shit.
Or I'm completely off the mark. Set some new PRs today so excuse my temporary retardation
No I think he meant what I was saying. Pretty sure he was saying to feel shitty about your lifts to improve them. My philosophy is that you should feel good about your lifts and getting stronger, and there's no need to feel shitty about yourself at all.
Rereading this after getting a night of sleep. Yeah, you're right. I'll leave my comment as evidence of my dumbassery.
I actually think think it is a legitimate question. Scott Adams, the Dilbert cartoonist, writes a lot about this philosophy on his book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big". Basically, it is not a dumb idea to want to continually feel good about yourself. You don't have to be on a high everyday, but it is not efficient to continually feel like shit about yourself. It is not about being a "pussy" because you can't handle discomfort. It is about hijacking your brain to be more productive and efficient. It is about re-framing and putting your focus on what is productive. It is about avoiding unnecessary bad feelings when you could easily avoid them. This is where the concept of systems comes in. A systems way of reaching for success is a substitute for reaching for success through goals. Systems will not have you living everyday with a constant feeling of failure like you do when your focus is to fulfill one specific goal.
Goals can be great for very specific and immediate circumstances. Maybe you are unable to create any progress in life because you have that one problem that overshadows any other problem in your life. Maybe you have health issues or financial issues that need to be fixed immediately. A specific goal will allow you to put your focus on that one problem and create a better balance in your life. But for the most part and for the longer term, goals might not be the most efficient and forces you to focus on what you are lacking.
It is very hard to predict the future. Our personal needs, wants, and preferences can change year to year. A long term goal you might have set when you where 18 might be inadequate when you are 25. A goal of having $100k in your bank account in 5 years might be worthless if on the way you did it at the expense of your health and your relationships. And all the way through, you also put your life in this sort of "on hold," making you miserable at the same time. It sub-consciously tells yourself, "I will be ok only until this time comes."
The opposite of a goal can be a system. A system is basically a general program that you create for yourself that can be composed of things like positive habits and daily good practices. You can set up a program for yourself that says: "work out hard everyday, eat right every day, do productive shit everyday, make positive use of your time every day, learn something valuable everyday." It is not a specific goal, but a program that allows you to always be improving while not focusing so much on where you are not yet. It does not limit you and it allows you to deal with the unexpected. A system of eating good and exercising everyday is a lot better than having a goal of losing 10 pounds in 30 days. You might lose the 10 pounds, but the focus was more on the goal than on the practices employed while getting there.
A system will allow you try out different endeavors, maybe you will fail at some, but it will allow you to fine tune the compass that will take you to places that fit you more. Aside from the celebrities, sports stars, etc..., most successful people are not successful because they are experts at one thing. They are successful because the are pretty good at different things that when combined create a very powerful package. For example, someone can be successful because he is able to combine his pretty good public speaking skills, pretty good writing skills, and pretty good business skills, all into a very powerful package. Each skill by itself does not mean much. A specific goal might make you into the best public speaker, but a system will allow you to become pretty good at public speaking, but also pretty good at other things that you can combine to create something bigger.
This is supposed to be a community where we help build each other up. I don't think a guy who's trying to better himself should come here and read posts about how he'll never be good enough. That will push more people towards giving up than it will push them towards achieving things.
Exactly. I feel like as men, we don't have enough support already. Honestly, I despise TRP and incels for the most part but I believe there's some truth to what y'all are saying. Like I can't hang out here for long, and part of that is because there's this constant message of: you're not good enough and women will never want you unless you do this, this, and this.
Also this sub needs to chill on the terminology. Lmao try saying to a normal person "she wants an alpha chad who spins plates and she doesn't fuck beta bucks"...the person will think you're a retarded freak
Then why are you here? And what does a forum specific terminology have to do with people interpreting it in real life? Poor comment.
Just like /u/blueparka43 said, there are great thoughts in TRP, and I enjoy reading most posts. But most of it is way overboard, exaggerated and unnecessary. It comes down to "be fit, be confident, don't let women control you." Pretty much everything else I read here is drivel.
so then leave, mr Ihaveitallfiguredout...
smh
With results, not nice words.
I think it's fair to assume here a premise of "you can get around this" in most posts here so don't let the presentation get in the way of the content. Also the majority will inevitably give up if they even get this far.
Real MEN know that other MEN won't hold punches. They're gonna tell you the shit you need to hear whether you like it or not. That's what a self respecting MAN does.
But it all falls down to the guy being spoken to. If he is unable or unwilling to listen to advice from other men who know what they're talking about, then yea. He should give up. And he won't ever be good enough.
You gotta be fucking tough in this world man. If somebody decided they're gonna give up on their journey because they read an article on the internet written by some random guy telling them to give up, then yea. They will never make it and don't deserve to.
Only the tough survive in this world man. Get used to it.
I smiled reading that. You get it.
I support you and if you ever need help you can message me. We're all here for one another
Ask mommy to hug you. That'll feel good. She will be proud of you too. Champ.
Validation. The new opiate of the masses.
My mom says she doesn't love me anymore what do I do?
Whatever you were doing before she said it.
Mother's have an innate drive to push adult males from their nest. Sometimes the snowflakes can't take a hint and mommy has to go full bitch on them. Don't take it personally.
Oh I was just kidding lol. Thanks for the advice anyway
"Greatness is driven by the fear of mediocrity."
This. Some of my biggest achievement happened, when I thought I am below other people. I was top 5 student for 1 semester among 1000 people, just because I believed I have to study so hard, because otherwise I would fail out of university.
Other time I made myself promoted at work at a very early age, because I was ashamed that someone else was higher on the ladder than me. I had some other similar experiences.
The greatest things happened to me when I was ashamed, feared or felt I am nothing. Fear might not be the best or healthiest motivator but a very strong one.
I'm afraid of running across a tight rope with insects all over my naked body while archers shoot flaming arrows at me... in front of a live audience of 5,000 people. I don't think I need to be good at that, though. Now, while that is a bit of a colorful metaphor, what I'm trying to get out of you is, "Where is the line drawn on your statement"? Clearly you don't need to be good at something like what I described, so where does it end?
I find it beneficial to make sure I always assume I can learn something. No matter how good I am - there's something I can learn. If that's your baseline, the chance of you closing yourself off for increased knowledge is smaller.
There is only progression or regression. The winds will always push your boat back to shore if you do not make an effort to venture into them.
So, the question is, how do you prioritise different types of improvement? I can't practice piano and practice guitar and lift weights and go for runs and study for school and talk to girls and read interesting books and make more money and teach myself oil painting and be politically active and network and polish my creative writing and learn more languages and meditate and learn a martial art and learn to cook better and improve my confidence with my university theatre programme and kick tranquillisers and get enough sleep. There aren't enough hours in a day.
How do I know when enough his enough and when to keep pushing?
Doesn't matter. All that matters is that you do.
Life doesn't have any inherent meaning. We're all just meatsacks who are here by accident, for a little while, and then we aren't. So you get to pick the meaning life has for you.
If you're lucky enough to be talented and driven, you might be able to do anything... but you still can't do everything. You just... choose.
You can choose one, sacrifice everything to it, be a contender... or choose several, be awesome at them, but not world class. Either one is respectable. Or you can go to sportsball games, drink beer, eat junk food, and cheer for men who are good at something, even if it's only playing a child's game with a ball. I don't think you will, though.
Everyone's telling you ways to be awesome at something, from sales to killing other men with your bare hands, to seducing Ukrainian lingerie models. And they're telling you that unless you can do that thing (which just happens to be their thing) really well, then you ain't shit.
Truth is, you get to pick. Because they're all both right and wrong. The money-making guys wouldn't be shit if they couldn't make money, because that's what they care about and work at. Same for the seducers, and the fighters, and the artists, and the thinkers, and even the sportsball players (hell, someone has to entertain the proles).
Everyone wants to tell you that their choice is the best. That makes them feel good, I suppose.
But you get to pick. The only wrong choice is nothing. Because what's important isn't the field, it's the fact of self-improvement. The act of looking at yourself, thinking of the man you want to be, noticing and admitting the difference, and then working to bridge that gap.
MMA is wack. As is being a fervent fanboy of any sport that revolves around admiring the physical fitness of other men.
Do what you like. Lift and get big, but if that comes from bailing hay, and you enjoy it, then do that.
If you don't think your the shit now, you probably never will.
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No one gives a fuck what you think about yourself.
Christ, what an awful post. How did you convince yourself that you were qualified to dispense advice on the internet?
I hope you spend time looking at what better writers are doing and feeling really shitty about what you posted here.
Dude... This comment has no value and can't even be considered criticism, you're just talking shit. You're going to need some kind of substance/reasoning to make anyone of interest listen. Otherwise, why even post?
Well why don't you clue us in on those better writers slick? Or maybe being a dipshit critic with nothing valuable to contribute helps improve the quality of posts.
Good constructive criticism
Wow someone fucking said it. Get this man a drink.
Man this reads in such a neckbeard voice I can't help but cringe
The hamster is not gender exclusive.
No, but it enjoys a warm vagina to hang out in just like the rest of us.
Simultaneously, embrace what comes easy to you. "If it's easy, let it be easy." This is something people equally don't get. How easy things can be.
Do what you like, and what you know you need to do, and within that, struggle.
Bang. Vanguard indeed. TRP (and society as a whole) has a huuggee problem with this atm. You can see it in every thread. There is egotistical wank all over the place and people are totally blind to where it occurs in their own lives.
By calling this out OP begins to touch on one of the most important points for most (or just all) of us, but it's also one of the hardest points to get people to actually engage in. Self limitation and egotistical hypocracy will just be rationalised away and not even contemplated or considered by 99% of people when it's brought up, because it's an instinctive reaction to an attack on the ego. But this is what will be holding you back from achieving your actual potential in life.
I'm good enough and what I've got works for me, thanks. Not everyone has to overcompensate for their lack of natural self-confidence.
Ahhh the rebel cry of snowflakes everywhere.
good job assuming rebel snowflake status
Good enough is not good enough.
While training kung-fu I adopted the philosophy of continous reaching to perfection you will never get. You will never be perfect, but your job is to be as close to perfection throughout your life as you can be.
The road never ends.
Had the same thing in Judo, girl wanted desperately to be better than us guys despite height and weight differences.... insisted on partaking in sparring with us and insisted on us not holding back
Ugghh
You guessed it, every time she got flipped a little too hard she'd shout at you and cry and have a massive temper tantrum
So many times I got called sexist by her for not wanting to spar with her and so many times she cried and hurled abuse at me for flipping her a little too hard
Great message. I try to preach this as well.
It's too easy these days with all the feel-good narratives and new-age self-help bullshit telling you to just settle and be happy where you are, or to "only compete with yourself" and other shit.
Obviously, don't take it to an extreme, but competition is what drives us. Saying you don't compete with others is retarded like a little kid saying he doesn't wanna play the game because he knows he'll get shit on.
"Git gud" as they say.
Loss is not as bad as wanting more, because loss is temporary, but wanting more is eternal.
The sufficiency that comes from knowing what is enough is an eternal sufficiency.
All beings in all states are always in the middle. You can go a little higher, but that becomes the new middle. You can go a little lower, but that becomes the new middle. You are always in the middle.
And so you are always at the place where you always are. If you can't be happy in the middle, then you can't be happy anywhere, because middle is all there is.
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This is the best Title to Opening line sequence I think I have ever read.
Spot on.
Champions hate to lose more than they like to win.
The key to personal growth is to keep putting yourself in situations that push your limits and don't allow yourself to fail.
Man that was me most of my life
There's a whole book written on this topic. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. The trick is being ok with the suck.
I see all my weaknesses, as opportunities.i have been delft with a shity cards, ok. I have choice to stay and whine like a BITCH or I can get to work. BITCH OR BOSS.Yh, life can be hard but compared to what? For me at the end what will matter is that I stood up or at least tried to better myself.
Well said. Never convince yourself that you are content.
Anything you're truly afraid of....do it(not talking stupid shit like chopping your nutts off).
This. Good is the enemy of great. You might be good enough. But you will never be great.
Thank you, that was a nice break from the feel-good dribble I hear so much of in life.
Hold on - why the fuck would I train MMA? I'll just stick with lifting.
Getting into fist fights as a grown man is fucking stupid. Getting into fist fights as a grown man with a lot of money is beyond stupid - it's an easy way to have to give it all away to some fucking clown.
If you're worried about self defense, this is America - buy a gun. If you ever use it, shoot them in the head and make sure they're dead.
I don't understand how can someone write shit like that. According to you, I should feel so fucking miserable all the time. I should hate myself because there's always someone who is better than me. That's what Mark Mason called self development addiction. I'm always chasing that ghost of becoming the best when I will basically be ruining every chance to enjoy my life. Then on my death bed I won't be glad because I can lift 900 pounds, I will be miserable because I wasted my life.
I think the appropriate title for this post is: "Greatness is driven by the fear of mediocrity." That statement resonated with me because I make it a point to remind myself that while I have talents and past successes, there is always someone else bigger, bader, and more successful than me... I remind myself this so that I try harder to be better each day.
Agreed. This is life. If you're not perfect you're not good enough, "good enough" does not exist for something you actually care about. Even if you're the best in the world at your art, keep getting better.
That doesn't mean you cannot be content with your life, it just means you can't be content with an idle one.
This is one reason why a Mission is so important.
My one gripe with this is there's no reason to feel like shit over something you don't care about. If you don't want to be a weight-lifter it achieves absolutely nothing to beat yourself up over your current capacity. Lift for sure, but focus on your mission. Same goes for hobbies and martial arts.
"The moment you think you are good enough, you will never be any better."
Thanks man, really.
If anything should be in bold it should be this shit, that's some bhuda level wisdom right there
ok i have a serious question guys and i hope someone responds too me, so is faking it to make it not the best way? i've never seen anyone talk about realizing that you aren't confident or alpha.. or whatever but it has my interest.. a response to this question would be really good man, because i've been implementing faking it until you make it for a while now..
actually... in a way faking it until you make it is the same as realizing you're not there, the only difference might a higher motivation but when you realize you're not that person you still have to implement what a confident person does in order to get there.
Pursue discomfort, it will show you where you need improvements.
Or I can accept that out of 7.3B people I'm not going to be the strongest at leg press, deadlift, income, firearms use, public speaking, and a rockstar all in one lifetime. That in fact I probably won't be any of those things.
Instead, I'll be a moderately fit guy at the top of the working class. I'll be intelligent enough to solve the problems I'm likely to face and some. Humble enough to ask stupid questions, and keep my distance during a fight.
I won't be on Mr. Incredible's magic steroid mix, but I will be able to answer the question "Do you even lift, bro?" with confidence. My boys will be just a little better off than I was. That's the kind of adequacy I can handle.
This was exactly what I needed to hear today /u/Whisper. On many fronts too. Thank you.
This post was a good reminder in a time I really needed it. It's very easy to start seeing results, then get complacent and trick yourself into thinking "Everything's going to work out, I don't have to worry so much or panic as hard". Comfort breeds laziness, especially in myself. Thanks for calling me out. I really needed to hear it. I actually find the concept of never truly reaching the top to be quite calming, oddly enough. I guess I fear running out of challenges.
The fucking truth. Like you read my mind. I've been juggling this thought in the back of my head for a while now. Over the past year and a half I've built a physique that I'm very fond of, but still not proud. The other day, two friends from high school (who I hadn't seen in years) even asked me if I cycled on gear. Of course this would inflate anyone's ego who trained natty and went from a toothpick to having capped delts in less than two years.
But then I went home...and I saw what guys like this can do:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdjWgw98EeI&t=160s
And this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIh1h8GMSaA&t=30s
And a bunch of other videos that depressed me for an hour as I watched and realized I can't do any of that shit. Yet.
I realized I'll never be able to look in the mirror and be satisfied with my physique. I'll never look at my bank account and be content with the balance. Shit, no matter how hot my future wife may or may not be, I probably won't be completely happy with her either (I like tall blondes and short brunettes; you can't have your cake and eat it too).
I'll read a book three or four times, with annotations, until I feel I've committed every punctuation mark to memory. When I come across a new opportunity to make money (which is rare), I pounce on that shit. When I go to the gym, I'm not there for maintenance. I spend 2 fucking hours almost every day of the week, bludgeoning my body to oblivion so I can be better than I was last week. And yes, I've suffered slight injuries from this multiple times. But the first thought in my head when I strained my lower back ligament was "When am I gonna be able to deadlift again?"
I often find myself staring at my reflection through my brows between sets, like a hungry rabid jaguar. Maybe I'm obsessive-compulsive. Some people probably think I'm insane. And I probably am (heh).
In essence, I realize I'll never be happy with myself...and nothing makes me happier than this realization. I feel more "at-home" in situations of discomfort than I did when I'd lay in bed binge-watching The Sopranos whilst stuffing my face with Doritos on a lazy Sunday.
The first time you take a punch to the face, it's excruciating. The second time, it stings a little. By the third time, it just makes you want to tear the other guy's trachea out. Embracing pain and letting your nose bleed a little is the first step toward accomplishment.
Great post, u/Whisper. This shit needs to be archived.
It has been. You're the archive.
Someday you'll say something like this to someone else. That's how it works.
You kicked my ass, over the course of several years, and now I've kicked the assess of my friends. It's great.
Nice one, bookmarked it for later
slow clap Read this as if you were speaking at a podium to a class of graduates
After my surgery I've been on LP for about my 13th week now. Chasing a 500lbs deadlift and 405lbs squat by Dec. (started with a higher Base strength).
I'm on track. Workouts are brutal, and now I look at every male I see and think "weak". This post is motivating.
Gym and martial art classes cost money, and I am not rich.
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About that: Jordan Peterson - Get Your Fear Behind You To Push You Forward
Agree / Disagree. On a philosophical point, you WILL die. No amount of motivation will stop this, wherever it comes from. I think you're right, though I think there is a point beyond practical motivation, where motivation itself is part of your existence. The equilibrium that you are ALWAYS struggling is what a Man needs to achieve success, something our western society systematically programmes out with 'LOGIC'.
Each moment the cells in your body flake off, each moment you are not who you were before. There is no framework for achievement in this world, unless you are living in a self-centred delusion. Make that special effort beyond your egotistic mind and you can be completely happy with yourself without comparing to any time before or after.
This is golden. I literally enjoyed this very much and am stealing it. Thanks for the post.
First non-Bullshit thing that's been posted here in a long while.
I bet you're a tough guy now aren't you. You think you can take everyone in a fight because you hit a girl once?
What the Hell man.
What is this shit?
People like you wouldn't last a week behind bars nor overseas in the military.
This is fucked.
he didnt provide any context. how can you judge him?
This is an important point to me. Guys, unless you push calisthenics to the absolute limits and have a very good base already, you're much better off just lifting some fucking weight. The ceiling for weights is much higher and it's honestly a lot easier.
If you're too intimidated to go to the gym then you need to find a way to get past that retarded fear.
To the people preaching calisthenics - just stop. It is not and never will be an ideal way to train to look good and be strong. Calisthenics will never replace what weight training can provide, unless you like being a small cunt.
Exactly this. Dont mind them - its just their hamster for not wanting to work hard. Its a start, so im not shitting on them but the righteousness and superiority I hear from bodyweight guys are laughable.
"I want functional muscle, not empty bodybuilder muscles bro!" is equivalent to a lazy girl and her hamster saying "I dont want to be buff like a man!"
Spot on as usual.
Only thing i dont get is the emphasis on martial arts and fight training in general. Everyone continously states that if over 18 fighting strangers is completly advised against and that when you can truly fuck shit up you gain a kind of maturity in where you wont want to fight as much and youll be in better control of your emotions etc. So you pretty much will never really get in a fight because if you do you know your fucking shit up and you had no choice. So basically you will very very rarely ever use the practical techinical skills of martial arts/mma etc. If you get a weapon(Gun), the extremly low chance event of you needing practical physical skills would be handled much better much easier and much more safely.
The only other benefit that remains is the psychological calmness and confidence from knowing you can fight. But what if you are not scared of confrontation, and are naturally calm in physical threats? (stemming from self exposure to it or the chance of it)
It seems like a simple cost benefit analysis for me. The benefits are rendered useless pretty easily as well as the costs being major wear and tear to my body, massive amount of focus dedication and time that could directed at my other hobbies and skills training like music travel lifting mechanics philosophy or any others in the future i might take interest in.
In my case i dont think you could call it hamstering. Interested on peoples opinions about this. (Disclaimer: I'm 6'4 and not skinny, definetly not buff yet though. Experienced lifters would put my stats to shame)
Because it's just good for you. It's like knowing game, or how to lift. A man should know how to fight. That takes training. You shouldn't be a bum and fight fools for free. It's just good to know.