Alright who is downvoting this shit? If you have something constructive to add on why you think getting guys off of online dating and stopping feeding women's egos with easy fawning online is such a garbage idea I'm all ears. Let's go motherfuckers debate me.

TL;DR dating apps might be more harmful than good and studies seem to support that idea

I went to hang out with a cute girl who gave me her number. She invited me to a bar where reggae was playing. It was explicitly not a date. Okay, awesome. I figured I’d go hang out with her and see if she was cool and if we vibed or not and my expectations where to make another cool female wingwoman. She was awkward but I let loose and had a good time dancing to the music and making small talk with her at appropriate moments given the loud as fuck music. Imagine my surprise when I crashed and burned hard at about hour two when she told me that she wasn’t prepared to have guy friends and that she needed more therapy because she had recently come out of a long and abusive relationship. Wowza. Clearly I fucked up somewhere bad. I was legit heartbroken like wow this person doesn’t even want to be my friend after 2 hours. If you think that’s selfish, fuck you, I just came out of a 10 year long abusive relationship myself last year and I worked hard to keep my mind stable and to get out there and interact with both men and women without being jaded. Anyways, I had never had a response like that before and my mind was so blown and my ego so shattered I decided to make an online dating profile and gorge myself with texting women and trying to attract them. Cue music.

I made an OKCupid profile for myself and decided to wade into the waters of online dating and see if I could illicit any right-swipes with some quirky pictures and an authentic essay about my worldview. With some minimal effort I got 7 matches over 2 days resulting in no date or particularly engaging conversation. I was undaunted but realized that I'd have to seriously improve my profile if I were to get more right-swipes. Given my profession I applied some business-sense to the process and decided to conduct some analysis of the competition.

I googled "emo chick" and clicked on page 9 or something of results and picked a random picture of an indie-kid with green hair and a jean jacket and sweet sweater sitting crossed-legged on the floor. She wasn't emo by any stretch of the imagination and my ever-present teenage-brain which somehow still rattles around in my adult-brain sneered at the poser who tagged this clearly indie type as an emo. I wondered what became of the world and imagined a middle-aged, trendy woman blissfully applying out-dated sub-culture tags to the wrong pictures before going home to her two-bedroom apartment from her middling seo marketing firm to be greeted by her snarky teenage son who just discovered "trapped" music. Her painted smile hides the pain but it's hard being a single mother and she tries. She'll barely be able to afford to be broke at the end of the month and she worries about her son's future. Her phone buzzes and she ignores her overflowing email as well as the hairs falling from her head and she steels herself to prepare dinner. Mac and cheese. But I digress.

Armed with this single picture I created a profile and marked that I was a woman looking for men interested in women. My username was an aptly cutesy sounding name which I was sure would tickle the tingles of any man who still remembered his middle school crush. My profile was a sparse and unintentionally coy "Ask me 🙂" which I had encountered from my brief experience as a dangerous, creepy, and uninteresting male on OKCupid. I had 20 likes in 5 minutes and messages were already coming into my inbox. Alarmed and off-put by the extreme chauvinist and forward male reaction I didn't look at any of the messages and had to put my phone away and make myself some cozy chamomile tea.

My shaken nerves weren’t prepared to deal with the torrent of veiny, hairy cocks in my inbox so I relegated myself to a light evening yoga session. I consulted with some of my girlfriends before deciding to turn in for the night. After all, I had an early morning the next day so without checking any of the messages I tucked my phone underneath my pillow and curled into my duvet. I was mildly anxious for all of the angry messages I was sure I’d receive after heartlessly ignoring these pining mens’ affections but thought the same way any other strong and independent citizen of the world would; I don’t owe them shit. My consciousness faded to thoughts of indignation on how difficult it was to find a good guy as the scent from the crushed lavender bag I ordered from Etsy for $75 was reaching my nostrils and coaxing me to sleep.

When I awoke from my slumber, bleary-eyed and my nerves finally calmed enough to open the app, I was appalled that I had 400 likes and 60 messages after a brief and extremely selective right-swiping session. I considered preemptively changing my profile’s contents to mirror others I had seen from a previous life and warn potential suitors that I would not stand for dick pics or lewd messages and guys who are interested in only one thing need not apply to further increase the elevation of the moral high ground upon which I was already standing and imagined hordes of neckbeards and pushy losers closing in around me. I felt a heady rush of adrenaline and a feeling of nervous butterflies in my gut and as I wiped the sweat from my brow I felt a rumbling in my bowels.

I thought to myself, “god, I really need to take a shit.”

I waddled to the restroom and plopped onto the throne. Unable to focus on two monumental tasks at the same time, I prioritized and devoted sufficient brain power to the task at hand and forewent changing my profile, deciding instead to use the remaining available brain cells to finally look at my inbox. To my extreme surprise, only 1 message was anything close to lewd.

"If I were a watermelon would you spit or swallow my seeds."

In disbelief, I squeezed hard and heard a pop-plunk sound followed by another sound which I am certain was only heard elsewhere when a landslide into the Vajont Dam sent 50 million cubic meters of water into the Piave Valley below. Reeling, I hung on to my phone and to the sink next to me and my eyes crossed themselves as an epiphany was blowing my mind and the previous day’s burrito was exploding my colon. The next moments are a blur really and I don’t quite remember what happened. Later that night the police did show up saying there had been multiple reports of a young girl screaming violently and what sounded like a dog being abused. I told them that I didn’t hear anything but I did hope that the poor girl and dog were okay.

At any rate the messages kept pouring in and any swiping to the right I did was guaranteed a match. There was only one 30 year old hockey player who didn't match me back. He seemed like a quality guy and it made sense to me if he was in the top 10% of guys who enjoyed attention from women and I suspected he clearly saw through my bullshit profile and knew that either the girl in the picture would bug the shit out of him, being a young indie girl in a pretentious photograph, or figured that they just wouldn't click. Whatever his real reasoning it was the only evidence I found of another man not making a move on the profile. Kudos to you, Hockeyman, I wish you well in your travels.

I haven't seen enough to make any real conclusions but I looked through the guys’ profiles and even engaged a few in conversation asking some probing questions about their experience on the app and then exiting the conversation politely after some minimal contact. I've spent a long time lurking on reddit and the internet and I've read pieces written by about what guys can do to increase their chances of success with getting dates and I felt disappointed in a way that really hit home. The story of the software engineer in San Francisco who wrote a software program to automate what he would normally be doing on the app and went on 100 dates after swiping right on 600k profiles or something made me feel a similar sort of disappointment when I empathized with his realization of just how many profiles he'd have to go through to find any sort of real connection except now I felt it first hand.

Creating fake profiles to test and compare and contrast the difference in experience between the genders is not a new idea. Here are the results of a study so that I don't have to continue letting the fake profile endeavor fuck with my psyche and just as it says in the article, the findings are not unexpected. They look at 10 fake profiles of equal numbers male and female over 7 days and find that the most contacted woman had almost 17 times more messages than the most contacted man. The best looking men received fewer messages than the 3rd and 4th best looking women. 3 men had no messages.

Well, Ruhkov, you turdbungler, you might say, this isn’t new information at all. After all, step 1) be attractive, step 2) don’t be unattractive. So what's the use of all of this besides a funny story about a burrito giving me diarrhea? Well a couple of points.

Guys swiping right on every girl is a terrible approach to finding a match. For all of us. It fucks shit up for all of us. Actually, being on the app in the first place is a terrible approach. Indeed the men in my area are thirsty. Even those of us who understand how things work or who have come up with their own harebrained system or whatever are thirsty for that connection. We always are until we're no longer single or we go mgtow.

Being human beings, even some role-reversal where the onus is on females to approach the males doesn't seem to offer any solutions. In that event the men don't behave any differently than the women. The same advice to increase chances is relayed to the women who are trying to find a real connection with men, and we find men callously picking through them. It's not the patriarchy, its basic supply and demand.

The problem isn't that people are weird, or that men are creepy, pushy assholes, or that women are entitled, spoiled bitches. I believe that the issue is that we're all attractive enough. Taking OKCupid for instance, overchoice is a serious issue for women. This causes the men to peacock even harder. The more emotionally stunted females would interpret that as being pushy and the emotionally stunted males awkwardly flail for answers.

As an aside though I'm actually amazed by how friendly guys are to girls. I wish us bros would be just as friendly and down to be friends to each other IRL. Given the feminist attitude and some of the viewpoints I've seen expressed about gender inequality I really was expecting some rude stuff. The male profiles I've read and the openers I've received on the fake profile eally just confirmed what I see out in the wild. 99% of the guys are just good dudes who want to find a mate. The whole "I don't owe you shit" attitude is really insensitive and on a level of Charlie Sheen douchebaggery.

At any rate, potential connections don't work out for many reasons. I've had all of my relationships occur outside of the internet and from my own experience the role of chance and timing in finding any connection with another person can't be overstated. I think it's safe to assume that online dating apps offer a venue for women that drastically skew the balance of power in their favor and this must effect how they behave outside of the app and the way they influence each other based on their experiences online.

I actually disagree with the viewpoints of some mgtow and redpill (although I do think redpill philosophy is on the cusp of dishing out some real truth) as well as bluepill (god I can't stand those tools). Making comparisons between our species and other species can lead to false equivalencies but I am struck by how much work some animals put in to get a fuck, forget a meaningful relationship. It doesn't seem unfair to me that the same is true for humans. A couple of stags might buck heads over a doe. However, online dating would be akin to a stampede of stags in an orgy over a couple of does.

I am moved by some of the messages I see on this board where some men lament that they wish they didn't have to play the stupid shit-test games with women for fear of being seen as weak and just follow their hearts and be nice the way they want to be or the idea that santa clause isn't real. I think that these views are twisted by the experience of trying to attract women who are trying to figure out who they are or what they want while facing overchoice with regards to potential mates. However I think that those same mens' conclusions are misguided. Every dude who messaged the fake profile on OKCupid was single and also a good dude with an interesting life. I don’t see how anyone could actually make a decision on anyone’s profile other than studying the picture and wondering if there could be chemistry there. Obviously, we’re all going to gravitate towards the most attractive person to us that we can find and as men competing to attract women we will resort to tricks such as holding frame or negging and all sorts of shit to create illusions. This is not genuine and also harmful in the long run.

The issue of equality vs equity might be a contrived one of separating out definitions but I do think it's a necessary step in the evolution of our society. Feminism espouses gender equality in a world where the ultimate interaction between men and women is mating (we are part of the animal kingdom after all...) and that seems odd given the clear inequities in our dating culture. In terms of dating and reproduction, women do indeed hold power. Identifying with victimhood is no doubt seductive for female feminists as well as for the male incels and mgtows but the practice is ultimately destructive and influences the weaker minds in ways that fucks up perceptions between genders even more. That being said, "I don't owe you shit" is a logical response from someone who is trying to choose from a wide selection of options. And "you're an entitled cunt and a snowflake" is a logical response from a normal but frustrated person who is rejected or passed over without explanation... like when we don't get the job after an interview. Redpillers and conservatives reject feminist ideas and respond logically to it, much to the chagrin of fembots. There is equality after all in the legal sense but there isn’t equality in the romantic interactions between men and women. The fact that straight men want to plug into women's outlets is not indicative of the presence of a patriarchy or rampant sexism but rather a simple part of life.

In this sense I believe feminism has done a disservice to young men and women in America and those slimy politicians have been trying to capitalize on this by presenting the issue as liberalism destroying traditional family values and however the left presents it or whatever. One aspect of redpill which I do like seems to touch on this issue by encouraging men to take time out to improve themselves and try to be happy and attractive without chasing girls who are a waste of time or being thirsty, however, it's to the extent that if one is nervous and getting carried away with a crush it's advised to get your shit together and not display "scarcity" body language which I think destroys the authenticity of vibing and having fun with the other sex. Women on the other hand should be considerate of the fact that men are human beings who also long for connection, not man-children or rape-machines bent on oppressing women and who think that they are owed vaginas. The whole sentiment is ridiculous, sexist, and turns almost every moment with eye-contact and a good vibe into a prelude to an SVU episode. Thanks Benson, for fostering a generation of girls too scared of rape to have normal relationships and/or affairs with men. This is actually my primary complaint and a real problem which I would like to see addressed and solved.

In an ideal world I would destroy all of the dating apps. The behavior I've seen on them I think does lend itself to supporting the feminist stereotype of men being pushy and thirsty. Honestly, it's just full of guys following the advice "you're a strange man, she's scared, set her at ease by letting her know you're a nice guy, say more than hi." Whoever wrote any of those articles were paid to be trolls because with 100 dudes throwing the same messages within 24 hrs I really don't know what difference it makes. At that point anyone is going to be picking based on the best pictures. While an attractive male with nice photos is more than enough to get likes, so many guys are so nice that the aloof attitude of the attractive male just happens to be that much more attractive simply because it's different. That aloof behavior is not legit or good unless it's genuine and I'm afraid many men fake it in order to hold frame. That's not good. I see it like a vicious cycle. While it sure is nice to text with cute girls in the comfort of my bedroom I feel it's a waste of time. It's like porn and ultimately a waste of time. Again, not a new idea.

Normal people do end up meeting out in the wild. All of us should forego dating apps and stop being so thirsty. If you're ugly as fuck and awkward and you're towards the bottom, delete your dating app and work on being a better human. If you're normal, delete your dating app and take a chance by talking to a girl you don't know in real life like she's just a person. If you're in the top 10%, delete the fucking app and go to the fucking bar like a normal person. Be a fucking classy gentleman.

The way the power dynamic works in relationships in America is that the masculine approaches the feminine and then the feminine accepts or declines. Without dating apps, the illusion of an abundance of pushy men pining desperately for women will disappear and the interactions will shift back to the real world where we can go back to focusing on the problem of all of the good ones being taken and beating out the betas who are too scared to approach women anywhere except on dating apps.

Edited for clarity