Not only do I see a lot of posts here on this topic, but it is also one of the main statements my friends give me when asking for tips to "get into shape". My immediate response to them has now become what I put in the title of this post.
I go to a gym with about 3000 members, probably the biggest one in my city. This particular gym has this stigma for being roid central, as it houses quite a few pro bodybuilders and high end Instagram models, mixed with power-lifters who've been pumping iron since they could walk. Stepping foot inside the building can be a very daunting thing for newcomers as they feel they're immediately placed at the bottom of the ladder.
Here's the thing though, something that is one of my favorite aspects of joining a gym. Despite what is taught outside the gym walls, once you walk inside, 99.9% of the time no one could care less about your size, muscle build, appearance, or the level of progress you are at. The only people that will give a shit about you are personal trainers, and that's only because they're paid to. In fact, the only point where most regulars would acknowledge your existence would be their first glance at you, and most of the the time this will consist of them thinking "Good for them, good to see people trying to improve themselves," before they get back to whatever they were training.
Remember, everyone in a gym shares a common goal: to improve their fitness. Most are too focused on this goal to even consider for two seconds if you are sharing that goal with them.
To be honest, yes, one day you might run into the kind of assholes that you've been dreading:
This leads to a type of training even more important than weight training; this will train you to ignore the opinions of assholes.
yup. Lifting isn't going to get you to where you need to be if you crumble emotionally at a total stranger giving you shit.
You aren't going anywhere in life if you crumble emotionally at a total stranger giving you shit.
Hence the whole concept of always keeping frame, am I right?
This is a huge problem for me. how do i fix it?
This is a huge problem for me. how do i fix it?
Plenty of resources here about building confidence. That's what ya need if it's a problem for you.
What worked for me is just start talking to everyone. Everyone you meet. Try to get as much as you can out of the girl at the checkout counter in the grocery store before your interaction is done. Ask the pharmacist if he has any plans for the weekend. Standing in line with someone who's body language is not suggesting they are just a raging prick? Strike up a conversation with them about something.
You'll learn quickly. If people give a short response and look disinterested, let them be. But most people will start talking. Most people really subconsciously are flattered someone cares what they have to say.
Idk, once I started talking to everyone in day to day life, approach anxiety went away. And it's just little changes you don't notice, but if you are afraid of a strangers opinion like that, it's like all other fears, you have to master it. Just takes practice.
Only ever seen this happen once. A group of boys no older than 16, probably in their first week, were openly mocking and visibly laughing at an overweight man on a treadmill (who mind you had been coming here for a few months now and was substantially less overweight.) Guy at reception who’s a former mr universe of my state saw them, walked over and gave them a stern lecture for a good minute or two, with the looks on their faces being dead fear.
Never saw those kids again, they left quickly after. Whether it be because they decided not to come back or that they got banned I’ll never know.
Right there, if you think this is anything other than masked insecurity, parading as mockery, I don't know what to tell you.
Exactly. And if someone at the desk didn't say something I would have.
Someone who is there trying (honest effort not just going through the motions) deserves respect regardless of their physical condition.
Go to McDonald's to make fun of fat people, anyone at the gym is actively trying to better themselves
If people fat shame at mcdonalds there would be fewer fat people
I had this amazing idea when I was in high school to install weight scales in every fast food restaurant, and if you were over a set weight like 250lbs staff would have to refuse service. Would it cause outrage? Yes. Would it reduce obesity? Fuck yes.
Fast food restaurants care for money, not your looks or weight. Great idea tough.
We refuse drunk people booze(sometimes). Why not?
It would work, but maybe for big guys that are muscly they would have to have a look-see to check if they are muscle or fat.
The fatlogic and fit to fat subs were great motivators for me while losing 120 lbs.
I think his is what OP is getting at. Most of the people you see giggling and laughing at you were probably not actually paying attention to you. I have social anxiety like many do and it took me some time to realize people are just there to enjoy themselves. Someone laughing and looking in your direction is probably just conversing with friends and your anxiety is telling you you're laughing at them.
I have indeed seen some shit talkers at the gym and they all had the same shit in common. They're usually males under 20 that are total fucking noobs who talk shot as a defense mechanism, because in their heads everyone is judging them too. Usually it's directed at other young males because of the perceived competition.
I remember going to a gym with a friend who wasn't in great shape at all and didn't know what he was doing, and for some reason he insisted on talking shit about all the big dudes who look at themselves in the mirror. It was really embarrassing, but also interesting to see because he was totally doing it because he was nervous and uncomfortable.
I've gotta say, anyone who would seriously do this would have to be giga-insecure. When you treat someone like that that you don't even know anything about (in the gym or anywhere in life), it says a lot more about the relationship you have with yourself than the person you're belittling. Do you think Arnold spent his rest times looking at the person using less weight than him? Or do you think he was focusing on his breathing and psyching himself up for the next set.
Zyzz was a good example of someone who had a truly positive mindset towards this, and he said;
"At the end of the day, i have respect for anyone who wants to make a change for themselves and start training and improving their body and health. In my opinion, the gym/training/dieting lifestyle is by far the most fun and rewarding way to live your life. The people that laugh at the overweight/obese people in the gym are a disgrace, i applaud them for having the courage and determination to train and want to make a change for themselves despite the obvious hardships they would face. At the end of the day, its all up to how much you want it yourself. Some people dont care that much and are happy with their bodies and its not a big issue for them, good for them, but for anyone to take the piss out of and ridicule anyone trying their best to lose weight/gain muscle and make a change for themselves, especially if they are finding it hard due to their genetics, make me sick. If you want it, you will get it, and will eventually prove the haters wrong. And that is one of the best feelings a human being can experience."
I have literally never seen this...
Not in 20 years working out.
Be careful though and remember that if you into one asshole, you ran into an asshole. Run into them all day and you might be the asshole.
I say this after a realization of why fatties cry about people making fun of them. There are two types of people who get noticed in the gym: extremely beautiful/swole people and inconsiderate asshats. Fatties tend to be the latter because the same failings that make them fat also make them annoying and constantly in the way at the gym. Thus, when they spend 20 minutes browsing Facebook while in the squat rack, as fatties are wont to do, they get dirty looks and blame fat shaming.
It's funny the things people get bent out of shape over. The bare fact of the matter is that we're all going to take our last breaths on day.
Time ticks away with each passing second into the void. Who really has the time to give a shit about the opinions of perfect strangers be it on the internet or in real life? Lift for yourself, f*ck the opinions of everyone else. If you don't want to do it it's your life at the end of the day. Experience it on your own terms
I think this is in part due to the Dunning-Kruger effect. People that are somewhat experienced but still relatively new to something like to feel superior over complete beginners, so they put others down to make themselves feel better. If you go to a gym, it's never going to be the guy that's squatting 5 plates snickering and laughing at you. It'll be the group of gym bros that just started to see their beginner gains. It's almost never the higher belts that have these issues in BJJ, it's always the fresh blue belts or the 4 striped white belt. It's never the pro fighter with 20 fights under his belt, it's the guy who's had one exhibition match and has been sparring a few months.
The point is you're ever dealing with these type of people (and you will) you shouldn't feel too bad about yourself, because they don't know that much more than you. People with real experience lose the ego and recognize that everyone starts somewhere, and know that they were once newbies at some point as well. As people get more experienced they usually lose the ego, as they get humbled or they drop out completely. People with attitudes like this never get that far as their attitude actually impedes their improvement.
The only time I get mad at someone at the gym is when people who should know better are doing something they shouldn't be. IE curling in the squat rack, taking up multiple pieces of equipment, or going too hard in rolling/sparring. Other than that nobody gives a shit what you're doing in the gym, they're all focused on themselves. You'd also be surprised how many guys are willing to help beginners and how nice and accepting they are.
Good insight. The Dunning-Kruger effect probably includes posting comments on RP threads as well. I will admit to being brash when I started.
Those who talk shit about others = Those who feel like shit inside
fuck em, or go to a different gym where less of the mainstream (so to speak) crowd of people go to.
happened to me ONCE, employee of the gym was bitching about me because i was waiting to wash my hands after the kid without taking a piss. was crying to his buttbuddies outside the bathroom "AMG he was like.. totally... stalking me.. like like right behind me as i washed my hands"
most people at the gym can be too nice. was benching slowly, someone thought it was too heavy for me coz i didn't use spotters, ran up to me and lifted it up for me. that i've seen way more times.
Yup. At first you'll be wondering why these random strangers are such assholes! It's gonna bother you for a while, but then you'll just say fuck it, and do your own thing.
I was a gym regular for years....and you know what I thought when I saw someone fat walk through the doors?
I'm happy to see them. That's a new member. It means more money for the gym. And I remember I once had to walk through those doors badly out of shape...and I'm glad for them.
If I give you a bit of a look when you walk in..I'm not thinking you're a loser, I'm thinking you're a winner...and I like to see new faces at the gym.
I like seeing out of shape people become regulars. I like being able to witness their progress firsthand over time.
So true...but nothing is worse than fat people who work at the gym. They have access to the equipment and could probably workout for free. Instead they just sit on their ass watching other people better themselves every day.
Just joined a gym today and the receptionist was fat. Nice person, but I found it odd.
Hey man, you’re probably a good person.
Yeah me too. Girls and guys.
I remember feeling sad for one girl who did a one hour aerobics class every day for a year and lost nothing that I could see. She tried really hard. Then every day after class she would head over to the shop and buy a big sugary energy drink....she should have been buying water. Wasted her previous hour's good effort. She did seem to make some friends though.
Here's the pill. Most girls won't be in any better shape than they were when they walked in (there are quite a lot exceptions, but this applies to the majority). Mostly they're there to have some time with other girls. Especially the fat ones -- since they need to shed off the very mentality that brought them there in the first place.
Hate to break it to you, but you don’t undo an hour of serious exercise with a Powerade
It was more likely due to her diet outside the gym.
When you exercise you lower the amount of sugar in your blood. This provides a temporary window of time during which your body may decide to convert fat to energy. But if you fill up on Powerade...opportunity is lost, body has no need to convert fats to sugars. Your fat remains where it is.
I suspect you can very easily waste an hour of serious exercise with a powerade or gatorade. "Undo" is a different thing.
Finally my gym trainer recommended we NOT do this if we wanted to lose weight.
Hate to break it to you but I'm feeling a mite sceptical of your statement...
Stopped at “turn fats to sugars”
First off all, you mean something along the lines of turn fats to carbs, because that’s what sugar is. Another thing it is is impossible.
You go to carbs for energy first.
I give newcomers a look of envy. If anything, I'm intimidated by them. They're about to get the best gains and feel so good over the next month it's immeasurable. I want that again.
For those of you who don't know - before your body adapts and gains become harder, your first month of working out will get you the best gains you will ever get. No matter how hard I try, I will never be as happy as the first time I saw minuscule pecs looking back at my skinny ass in the mirror 3 weeks into gymming.
I don't ever remember the first month of getting back into heavy lifting to be fun.
Thats the trick, its the first time only high, the rest is forcing yourself back to where you once where. Remeber back to the first ever time you started and thats what he is talking about
:-) Yeah I remember that ...or how fast your weight drops initially if you're sloppy fat like I was...
I dropped from 120 kg to 80 in about six months...
The only people I ever give dirty looks to at the gym are the ones that hog equipment or blatantly use it improperly. (when they should know better..ie..not the noobs)
Also, people not reracking their weghts makes me instantly hate everything about them ....or wiping up after their sweaty ass uses a piece of equipment.
The dude trying to do lateral raises with the 55s who has no business doing lateral raises with the 55s
The people who scream with their workouts. You know the ones, you're sitting there on the bench doing your daily lifts when the guy next to you's soul literally escapes his body with 10 lb weights
Back in college there was this guy who would do the neck machine with the loudest grunts imaginable, and ALWAYS got up puffing his neck and traps up looking around to see if anyone was checking how swole he looked. Pathetic.
Yep. Or don't rerack the weights.
I think pls have good hygiene and know your gym etiquette
Almost january the fatties are coming. Good that most of them will be gone by valentines
Bro.. did you not read the post?
I did read the Post and as it is true i dont care about anybody else in the gym but me but I dont like to look at fatties half assing their workout or being in the gym once a month to Post it on insta
I think that was how our gym made most of its money. Regulars pay once and are there 5 nights a week or more...they get value for money but they fill up the gym.
I'd see a lot of newbies work so hard in their first class or first week they'd frighten themselves or hurt themselves - and then never come again. They paid for a one year membership and came for a week. This was where the gym made money.
Everyone at the gym is interested in only one person, and it's the person they are looking at in the mirror rather than you, as OP says.
If you're judged for anything... and mostly you're not... but if anything it's the effort you are putting in.
See a fat guy working hard? Good for him, I assume he's trying to get his life in shape.
Cardio bunny in full makeup and perfect gym gear doing no work? Get the fuck out of here and stop clogging up the machines.
You should say the dudes at the gym are only interested in one dude. Whatever prompted these chicks to start doing squats and deadlifts, I don't know, but mercy sakes, there are some damn fine women congregating by the racks these days that manage to catch some attention.
Never got the need to stare at strange while at the gym.
Got 23 hours to get my attention. that 45 minutes is for me.
Same, although if I'm doing my warmup or something, I have no objection whatsoever to fine women setting up in my line of sight.
Although my focus is devoted to my workout, I do notice a concentrated 'huddle' of guys that forms in the racks and machines in the immediately surrounding area of said fine women. I kind of SMH at the guys orbiting, but it's not really a bad thing. They are working out with posture and intensity. As long as they aren't flexing on the tricep-extension machine in place of their leg day, I guess no harm done.
its an interesting concept, i see women look at me at the gym with the "you should come talk to me so i can shut you down" look but ive never bit...
Is that a look? Or is that your ego shutting you down before you actually get shot down?
Probably a bit of both lol, most of those few select women always have boyfriends that come up shortly thereafter
Some of them can seriously move weight too.
They're attention whores. Peacocking for Chad.
I've never actually seen a woman working hard in the gym.
Acceptable gym judgement.
curls in the squat rack.
wearing bar pants/jeans while working out
not wiping down equipment
draping your towels and protein shakes across 4 pieces of equipment
screaming and dropping weights (also, screaming 'light weight' before a set)
smelling like a cabbie.
Other than that, you're golden. The theme here is making everyone elses life more annoying
Addendum:
not replacing weight plates after use
taking weight plates off people's racks without asking
Admittedly it's a rich area! This is why I made my own home gym.
forgot my gym shorts at home one day. Decided fuck it i'll work out in the jeans. A guy who I believe was on roids fucking lost his shit. Never again did I wear jeans to the gym.
I don't understand it to be honest. They're comfortable, loose, easy to squat and move around in.
One of the benefits to wearing jeans, (and ever so slightly tight and stretchy) is they make you feel sexy, and I am a believer that lifting is best done when you feel good about yourself. That's why I used to drink a liter of Pepsi when I worked out every day. I'm swole as fuck now.
Ha. I remember one time seeing a guy hit 3 of my gym pet peeves in 10 seconds. 1. He was curling in the squat rack 2. Had horrendous form, throwing/jerking his whole body to do curls 3. Then he put the weight down and walked away without re-racking
But hey, at least a squat rack freed up right as I was walking over.
Only doing retarded shit and assessories.
Not doing the basics while clearly a novice.
I don't expect others to wipe equipment for me, and don't wipe it for others. Those concerned with people's sweat use some kind of disposable towel the gym provides.
And I do grunt(no shout) when going for those last weighted ab reps.
Am I an asshole? I don't plan to change my ways but I want to know.
People seem to like me because I am working hard I think.
I always wear jeans to workout...
Are you Ronnie and going to do 200lb db bench press?
Does your customers complain your hands are too rough for handjobs?
If you havent answered yes for atleast one, you dont wear gloves until you finish your MtF transition and look passable.
I’m guess I’m just not as manly as you. How can I fix this? Should I suppress my emotions more while I say deprecating things about women?
When joke bothers you, its you who have chip on your shoulder..
Now on serious note. How many men 'who made it' you have seen to wear gloves to lift weights? There is reason for it.
Yes, there is a very good reason. Wearing gloves reduces your grip strength by effectively increasing the size of the bar. The thing is, almost no one lifts heavy enough for that to matter. I’m not a power lifter. For me, keeping my hands free of callouses is more important than a marginal gain in grip strength.
I've been training naturally for about 5 years & saw a gentleman join my gym about a year and half ago who was horribly out of shape.
In the time since he's been a regular & has gone from very overweight to an almost sculpted physique. It's truly amazing to witness.
Yeah, it's not nearly as bad to be skinny or fat in a gym as people imagine. I went for a couple of months a few years ago (and didn't make any progress because I didn't care about what I ate, big mistake), and just minded my own business. The one time anyone bothered me during those months was a guy with a body that made it obvious he knew what he was talking about telling me "Hey, you're doing that wrong, you might get hurt" when he saw me deadlifting, and offered to show me how to do it with proper form. If you have severe social anxiety I guess that might be seen as a bad experience, but I appreciated it.
The bottom line is, a good way to view the world in general is "Don't give a fuck about how people see you, because you're one among billions and most people will forget you in two minutes, if they even noticed you in the first place". Now apply that to the gym, where people are more goal-oriented and focused on what they themselves are doing than people outside the gym are. You'll be fine.
That guy probably saved you from a world of back issues.
If I see a massive lad I might give him an acknowledging nod or glance if we make eye contact. That's about as far as go to acknowledge others at the gym.
I like seeing skinny/fat guys at the gym. I think "Keep going bro!"
Because iron IS the truth: it’s either you can lift it or you can’t, no beating around the bush with iron.
People in there are too focused on the truth to give a shit about anyone else in the same room.
The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal.
That was truely motivating for me.
If you're a fat, out of shape guy nobody will bat an eye but when you get jacked is when everyone stares and make judgments about you.
You mean like people starting rumours whether you are natty or juiced?
That's how you know you've made it.
If your upper arm is bigger than your face, don't do anymore lifting. "That's it you won! You don't need to be in here!"
My favorite is the look people give you when they realize you are getting jacked. It’s amazing
LOL this is true. Everyone supports you until you are bigger than them (seen as better in gym context), then they become potential haters.
A gym is a place like any other and some people will judge you. Not sure where this idea came from that gyms are a magical place free of assholes. Funnily enough(or not, to people who follow TRP), the two times people have actually laughed at me (a rehabilitation exercise which looks funny and my first time doing a muscle up on rings-was pretty shaky once up on the rings) they were actually middle aged, average looking women, not meatheads. If you push beyond standard exercises, people will notice, end of story.
Yeah, people will give me looks when I’m doing my neck exercises, but I make sure to give off a no nonsense/don’t approach me aura. Plus people can tell that I know what I’m doing.
Not to mention they wouldn’t be able to do the same weight.
Wait what? Are you meaning to tell me that people are not interested in my intermittent ketogenic fasting diet, which converts fat into muscle through hyperlipidosis of ketones and increases testosterone at the same time?
I don't believe you.
That diet will kill you, yea know!
Can't make gains without carbs, the CrossFit class at my gym told me so!
Before I started lifting, I had some health issues when I was in college so I did a keto diet for about three years in order to help with my health issues. My BMI very quickly dropped from about 26 to 20 and after a few years my health issues completely disappeared.
That being said, now that I can eat carbs again, and I've been lifting for a few years, I wouldn't want to do the keto diet again...especially not while bulking. I love housing carbs for my gains.
When I joined my gym I was about 60lbs overweight, well on my way to a dad bod. Inadvertently started keto by cutting out sugars and carbs. Started skipping breakfast (too busy and wasn't hungry anymore) too. Did some research and found out I was doing keto and IF.
Alot of crabs back then who tried to pull me down: that the diet was not balanced, that I didn't lift enough weight, too focused on form. Real ridiculous shit.
Stuck with it and am cruising at 175 from 227 at 6'2" a year later. Developed a following by other individuals at the MMA gym: one gym mate was suffering from heart issues (heart disease ran in his family) and another suffered from a thyroid issue since child hood. The transformation they both underwent after consulting with me I'll never forget. The heart kid's mother cried when she saw his blood test, and the other kid stopped having to take his thyroid meds. Both attributed their weight loss and transformation to my tenacity in sticking with keto, although I was simply holding frame and was totally uninterested in their problems (I had a severe case of oneitis at the time.)
So basically, the red pill by extension saved these two young men from lifelong health issues by explaining to me how frame works and why you must keep it, especially in the face of the naysayers.
I did IF keto for 3 years and was the most shredded that I have ever been. Not only that, I also felt amazing.
I have had multiple doctors tell me how bad it is for you.
Planet Fitness and other gyms have capitalized on the 'straw man' of the Gym Bully.
I'd like to add that if you see anyone nervous around or doing an exercise wrong that might injure them, step up and help them out.
Don't be another asshole recording "gym fails" that when spread might discourage that person to step in a gym or even care about their health forever.
The whole idea that gym is an intimidating place packed with "meatheads" is one promoted by SJWs. It's classic psychological projection; they're incapable of taking responsibility for their physique and health, so they project their insecurity onto others.
No. If you walk into a space full of males which are almost all physically superior to you, you feel weak and insecure. You realize how low you are in the male dominance hierarchy. A very unpleasant feeling.
This phenomenon is literally millions of years old, exists in animals too and has absolutely nothing to do with "SJWs".
Physical superiority doesn't necessarily denote dominance, and certainly isn't the only factor in the male dominance hierarchy. We aren't seals, dude. Status is far more a determining factor of dominance.
If you feel weak and insecure in the presence of a random dude in the 1000lbs club, that's a reflection of your own determination of your self-worth, and it's pretty pathetic.
Of course not, but if you are in a room full of people you don't know, the other people's looks is all that you have as an indication of their status.
And if you already have the (conscious or unconscious) self-image of being low status, this gets reinforced by you being physically weaker than the others. It is a very primal(=largely irrational) instinct, in this regard we really are seals. If you have a strong self image (assuming yourself to be high status), you will be mostly unaffected by this.
I am not saying insecure dudes shouldn't go to the gym or anything like that, I just wanted to share my theory as to why this very common phenomenon exists.
So to me this feels a lot like something the fat acceptance types would say: it's all relative, everyone is worthy, there is no objective measure, everyone is beautiful.
Well there are objective measures of dominance and they exist outside of your own determination of your self-worth. You probably should feel weak and insecure compared to someone in the 1000lbs club if your own physique is far below his, but let's not limit it to just that. If you're ass-ugly in a room of models, broke in a room of millionaires, etc., there are good reasons to feel lesser. Hopefully that feeling drives improvement.
But I don't see how you can dismiss this by mental fiat.
And how exactly are you projecting your status in the gym lol. Gonna come in wearing a Rolex and some bullshit swade tracksuit to hide your skinny body. Inside the gym the dominance hierarchy is your strength and body.
That feeling is inside of you, it's not their fault you feel inadequate. And like the OP said, nobody gives a fuck about how you look. If anything, they're gonna give you a little iota of respect right off the bat simply for having the balls to drag your ass in and try to improve yourself.
to be fair, i've heard mostly sjw women say this. never heard a dude say it.
SJWs perpetuate that idea even if its universal as you say?
I completely disagree. People absolutely care about all of those things, and definitely judge you for them.
But, in my experience, they care more that you are putting in the effort. You can't afford to care about what they think if it's going to stop you from bettering yourself. Who gives a fuck if for 6-12 months people think you're a pussy? You can either spend 6-12 months becoming not a pussy, or you can spend the rest of your life hiding from people.
Jesus fucking christ.
How fucking big is someones ego, when you think women both
Narcissism helps you build a narrative, where you are the main character, but fuck... Stop making your narrative being one of a martyr, who the world revels in keeping down.
Want to know another 'real' red pill? No one gives a fuck about you. Everyone seems to take this as a pejorative, as in, no one will help you succeed. It's really a blessing in disguise. No one cares. If you're a fat/skinny guy working out, everyone is too busy staring at their guns in the mirror to look at your flabby ass. Every girl is too busy staring at herself in the mirror, and not working out hard enough to ruin her mascara to care about you only lifting a plate on your bench.
No one fucking cares.
I'd add "after high school" to that. Once you're an adult, you're free.
I don't recall many people GAF about me in high school either.
Even in the 20 year reunion. Only things I remember any of the girls telling me had the theme of angry regret.
As a guy who body builds and has friends that are pro bodybuilders in the IFBB it's awesome for us to see someone working their ass off in the weight room to get better. I remember being intimidated at first by all the big guys, but if you stick with it and eat right you'll be one of the bigger guys in a couple years. You won't be a monster or huge, but you'll look great and you'll feel even better.
Actually. I give a shit.
I really fucking admire people who have the dedication and willpower to build their body in the image of a greek god.
I really fucking admire the courage of the out of shape people to even walk through the door. I know it can be a hard hole to dig yourself out of.
Not like Im going up and vocalizing these things, just keeping it my mind to keep myself humble.
People definitely care and people definitely judge. They might not be open about it, but you can be damn sure it happens. Just like people here circlejerk over how much superior they are to bp cucks, many senior gymgoers do the same thing about newbies. I have personally witnessed the judging at all 4 gyms in 3 different countries I've gone to, I doubt it's much different elsewhere. I've been judged and I've seen others be judged and I'll freely admit to thinking "what the fuck is this guy doing" myself on multiple occasions - for example, when I saw anorexic looking 5'8" guy come in head to toe in brand new underarmor gear and then proceed to deadlift 110 lbs with a total catback. You just need to get over it, like so many other things in life. If people silently judging you stops you from trying to improve, you have no chance of ever getting better.
Who the fuck judges people when they go to the gym? I never once felt judged or judged others. We are all there to get better.
I'd like to add: before you step into the gym, no one gives a fuck about you either.
Guys at the gym are generally super chill and balanced from all the endorphins. They will be polite and friendly. Even happy to offer you pointers.
Another thing that I thought about during my workout today is going to the gym teaches you to own your space. Because you will be surrounded by alpha males and you have to walk up and take your turn. You will naturally adopt a power stance and feel confident.
The gym really is like a red pill temple dedicated to your masculinity. There's even a bunch of attractive women to remind you what you're there for.
Afraifd to go the gym? Have we men gotten to be such big pussies?
Honestly it's not completely true that no one gives a fuck. When I first started working out I've had people come up to me and fix my form or spot me.
Title of this post is spot on! I️ don’t care if I️ see someone doing less weight, just make sure the form is correct to be taken serious. That indicates to people that you are striving to be better! That’s all 😊
To be fair, nobody cares about you before you go in either
Also, most people are open about their knowledge about exercise and how to do things. Dont be shy and ask
If you are nervous about the gym. What does that say about every other aspect of your life?
I think about other people at the gym. If I see a dude that has bigger muscles than me, I think "I going to get like that if I keep working."
If I see someone who can't lift as much as me or is fatter than me, I think "Hell yeah dude! Get that workout! I hope to see you every day!"
Mainly cause I wish I could go to the gym every day
Imagine something you're really good at, then imagine someone new wanting to start doing that and asking for your help. Would you say, "fuck you, you're fucking shit at this, go home." Of fucking course not, you'd be genuinely excited to see someone starting the thing you're good at. Just go to lift.
Good thibg about the gym where i live. My family lives on a marine corps base so the gym i go to is full of retired marines in their 40s and over half of them are juicing. Im so far behind them that i dont even worry about where i am lol, i just focus on getting better myself
I admire size, muscle build, powerlifters in the gym all the time, and I'm jacked already.
Any mentally mature person will admire and respect your efforts. The rest are roomtemp IQ's or 'issues' - not even worth losing energy over; those people are everywhere.
My fav motto:
What people think of you is none of your business.
"Im fat. I will be hated. They will laugh."
I myself look at fat people in the gym. If i weren't so introverted i would tell them how much their courage even motivates me. Some people are utterly fucked in regards to their weight. If they actually decide to change i am literally fascinated by them. Like... while other people are climbing small hills those guys look at Mount Everest and decide to make it happen. Guys... you are respected. It's not what you have that counts, but what you are willing to go for. Your ambitions are MVP
I don't need it.
Just like your teeth don't need brushing. Only difference, your body takes a little longer to make you regret that decision.
I'm alone, i have noone to go with
Solo is fine and has advantages even. Do it. No excuses.
The price!...
Shit is as close to 'free' as it gets. Fucking fill a bottle of water to full before you leave the gym and you basicly rob them of money if you go on a regular basis.
I don't want to
Guess what? Noone wants. Especially i don't want to. Until im done for the day. After that i LOVE it. The pride and enjoyment doesn't come from the way there, it comes from the way back home.
I only hate people at the gym in a few situations, and its nothing to do with weight.
-Dropping the weights with no effort to reduce noise. Or otherwise making a lot of noise (laughing with friends, playing music on your cellphone, LOUD grunting, etc)
-Sitting around hogging a machine while playing on your phone or doing otherwise worthless exercises (women leg pressing 2 x 25 pound weights. like what the fuck, are you even trying?)
-Being a general nuisance. Sprinting around in the areas where you shouldnt be running. Spilling protein powder or chalk everywhere. Taking 3+ sets of dumbbells at a time
my observation is that everyone in the gym is too absorbed with their phones, has headphones in, and wouldn't notice it if the gym caught fire. they definitely don't notice you.
of course, that's just about all of society now.
I always think anyone who gives two shits about you has too much free time on their hands and doesn’t take it seriously. Judging other people for going to the gym is seriously stupid. If you’re going to judge someone, judge them on their progress. And no one knows how long you’ve been working out for.
We all started out of shape at one point in our lives and not everyone started working out when they were 18.
Everyone who steps foot in the gym actually putting work in gets my respect immediately. I don’t care if your 110 lbs soaking wet or if you’re so obese you can’t even externally rotate your shoulder to wipe your own ass. We are all trying to reach our goals.
Dude I am definitely judging some people at the gym, but surely not newbies that put in effort.
Coz everyone is admiring their own muscles
1 Rule lift don't talk!
2 Re-rack the fucking weights!
This goes way beyond the gym. When you truly realize this, you are free. And think about it, if they do give a fuck about you, they must not have much going on with their lives anyway.
You can't live your life being affected by other peoples point of view.
I don't know.
I get really annoyed when I see 100lb girls doing weird ass exercises in the rack that I want to use.
Then there is usually that one guy that wants to chat with everyone like he owns the place. That's annoying.
I just want to lift and be left alone.
But I guess you're right most people think it's good when noobs come in trying to better themselves.
People always say this but it isnt true. I look at everyone in the gym and laugh to myself when i see people do shit wrong
That's just you being a dick.
Can’t agree with the majority here. I’ve actively been trying to improve form whilst I’ve hit the gym over the past 5-6 months.
All I get is passive aggressive bs from the surrounding people when my form slightly changes (e.g. loud coughing and slamming weights only as I start my set etc), you could say it’s paranoia but through trial and error it’s obvious that it’s true.
I’m thinking of getting a gym buddy (to help with form) but socially I’ve just moved area so i’m working on that front.
But that won’t stop me from lifting.
Your mileage may vary. Contextual
Yeah no one really cares. If anything look at other people (who are in shape) take exercises that may be doing and incorporate them into your own workout. That's what I do at least
I judge myself more than I worry about others judging me, but that is enough. I don't know about workouts or equipment, and I'm even ashamed of the clothes I might wear to the gym. Just everything. Totally out of my element. Everyone can be super friendly and helpful, but that doesn't change my own perception of myself.
im not saying do small talk especially if you are short on time, but do acknowledge a smile from a regular female or a head nod by another fellow man. You'll want to ask them for a spot once in a while
Almost everyone there is going to be helpful and supportive, everyone there went thru or Is going thru the same transformation you are starting.
The hardest part about exercise is how to begin. And even after a few months it can be hard to walk in that door.
For me, I was uncomfortable working out alone for my first month. I felt like everyone was watching my every move when they weren't. Now the gym is like my second home
I encourage anyone thinking about working out to just go out there and get it
I think this is true. I've been going to the gym for around 4 years now and it really doesn't even cross my mind that it could be someone's first time working out. Most of us are just focused on ourselves and quite frankly don't give a shit if the other person has or doesn't have the body they want. I can understand why overweight people are anxious to go to the gym but the way most of us there see it is that they are lapping all the others sitting on the couch. It takes discipline and dedication. Regulars can respect that
This is so true. The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday. End of story.
Most importantly, you're there to improve yourself and your life, so 0 fucks should be given to their opinions, this attitude should carry into every aspect of life.
In my case, it's more of a fear of doing things the wrong way and making a fool out of myself like you see in those Gym fails videos. I already exercise and workout at home, but i have zero experience with machines. Not so much insecurity and feeling at the bottom of the ladder, it's just fear of being an idiot in front of other people.
This might not be a problem with the people who work there and assist you, but i don't know as i've never been to one.
At the gym or on the street, you shouldn't give a fuck about the opinions of people who don't matter to you.
Totally. Nobody gives a flying fuck and more often than not, everybody is quite warm and accepting
What I like about my gym is that I'm not the only old guy.
There are guys there of similar age to me. Some are stronger and fitter and lift more. They are fantastic examples to kill any hamstering I may do about age stopping me lifting more.
In all truth, nobody cares about anyone but themselves. Nobody is watching you. Just go in, lift, go home. Forget the other people.
I agree. I barely notice other people in the gym, and if I do, it's never critical. It's always inspiring and motivating one way or another.
Basically the only time there is negative interaction at the gym is passive aggressive stares when someone is taking like 4 minutes between sets on a rack. I can't stand when it's rush hour at the gym, you can see people waiting, and you don't speed up at all or even offer to let people work in with you.
Jokes on them. Nobody gives a fuck about me anyways.
I'm a skinny cunt amd recently quit weed and stopped the booze for a bit. I have a few bits of kit at my flat but I know I need to join a gym. I've recently started climbing which is fucking awesome but for some weird fucking reason I have a huge mental block on taking that step into a gym. I don't know why because I know i'l enjoy it once the stigma has gone. Thanks for this post it's shit like this I need to read and stop being a bitch.
There is always someone fatter than you at the gym.
#WholesomeRedPill. Thought this was on the bodybuilding sub for a second.
The word judge literally means to form an opinion about something. So if your obese ass walks into the gym and you catch my eye, I'm not a slug; I have a brain and thoughts; I'm going to judge you.
That aside, all I care about is that you're not taking up whatever equipment I need next and I'll be kind to you if we interact.
What a great post. And so very VERY true! Everyone at the gym is focused on one person...themselves! Get through the door, get through the awkward "what are your goals" conversation so you can get your membership, and start being active!
Easy first week. Start walking on a treadmill or riding a bike for twenty minutes or so and just get comfortable being in the gym. Take things in, learn where things are at, and watch what other people are doing. You will be surprised how quickly that feeling of intimidation goes away!
Honestly when I see severely obese people in the gym, I actually DO give a fuck. It makes me proud of them. And as a regular, it makes me stoked for them when I start to see the same person regularly. Once I see that they haven't given up I'll sometimes tell them I'm proud or give that knowing head nod when we make passing eye contact
There is one thing that will make me judge you though:
Half-assing your training and then never coming back. I spend a shit-ton of time at the gym, so i usually recognize the regulars. I don't care how much you lift, but i will lose all respect for you if you do this.
However, you'll probably never see me again anyways, so i suppose it's irrelevant in the end. At least for me.
My gym is the exact same, only less people. Roid center and whatnot, but Ive tried all the other gyms, and i didnt like those new age gym as everyone is trying to be one bit. Bunch of stuck up people. The supposed roid center thats where i get advice snd everyone is friendly, almost gets like a small community, love it
I used to go to the gym when I lived near one. The only thing that was awkward was getting changed in full view of the rest of the change room. After a couple of days you learn to just not give a fuck about that either.
// , Even if you think the rest of this subreddit is stupid, you should listen to their advice about physicality.
I can corroborate this: Back when I was 6'1" 130 lb wearing gym shorts, a sweater, socks, and flip flops, NO ONE CARED. NO ONE.
It got to the point where I almost wondered why.
I've been going for almost a year now 3-5 times a week and the only time someone ever approaches me is if I'm doing an exercise wrong or could hurt myself. People are generally pretty chill in there.
Gym I go to is mostly just 40 year old semi overweight parents on the treadmill. When I was a scrawny 16 year old I was somewhat intimidated but people don’t really pay attention to you and I actually got some tips from them sometimes anyway. There’s nothing to be scared of
Very true. Almost no one gives a shit about you one way or another.
If you're new to a gym, just don't use the assisted dip machine as a stepper, that's not what it's for. Everything else is fine.
Only dudes who will judge someone for being weaker or more out of shape than them are insecure cucks.
It’s silly to be nervous about going to the gym. Are you nervous when you go to the grocery store? Do you worry people are judging you when you’re picking out bananas? Nobody gives a shit at the grocery store and nobody gives a shit at the gym.
When I go to the gym, I'm way too busy focusing on my own workout to pay attention to what other people doing. The only time I really notice people is when they're using improper form. All I do is think to myself "Well they're probably going to hurt themselves one day. The iron will teach them a lesson, and they will learn from it."
Anybody who has any experience lifting knows that the amount of weight you're lifting does not matter as long as you're using proper form and progressing over time.
When I first started working out, I told my friend how nervous I was. His reply: "Don't worry about anything, man. Nobody's looking at you. They are all looking at themselves." Once I looked around I realized he was right and I work out alone among the regulars to this day.
That's right. The gym is the least judgmental place out there. Because it's one of the few places where everyone in it understands you are trying to better yourself.
I care. I care very deeply. If you're using the power rack, please hurry the fuck up so that I could take my time on it.
I had this sort of anxiety when I started lifting.
I eventually realized that one reason I began to crave going to the gym (and not give a fuck about how many people were there) is that lifting will become an activity that puts you "in the moment."
This sense of presence will make you forget about all external bullshit, such as what late bills you have, why that girl rejected you last night, etc. You won't care about who is looking at you, or who walks into the gym.
You will focus on this process you are engaging in, of doing something good for your body.
Once you begin to experience this regularly, and when you realize that most likely, everyone else is experiencing the same thing, your anxiety goes away for the most part.
But again, first you have to experience it.
They do. The key is to not give a shit about them. Why is this shit which is repeated all over reddit being posted here now?
Surprised this has such a crazy number of upvotes. It's a little sad to hear so many guys are afraid to improve themselves. It takes a little humility, placing yourself as the new guy in a gym. But, like you said, 99% of people will give you a glance and then move on with their workout. Every guy at a gym is there to improve themselves, and the majority of the women are as well.
99.99% of the world don't give a fuck about you, social anxiety is really a problem of your ego, you put power in others opinion to define your reality
live your life the best you can, walk like a king, live like a king, love the close ones, soon you will be dead
Another thing I found that is helpful is to find an old school gym that is not very commercial. The equipment might be a bit dated but the quality of the people training there generally is higher. The ratio of guys to girls will be also usually be on the high side. Finding one is easier said than done and could easily get mixed up with cheap ghetto gyms.
For an activity that you are going to be performing almost daily it helps to be in a positive environment. Regulars at gyms like that use it as sanctuary, and not as a place where they just hang out, show off and have their daily Instagram post. They are usually helpful and knowledgeable, and could be a place to foster a handful of authentic relationships.
As in every other setting don't act like a bitch (be sociable), accept constructive criticism and always be improving. I really do not think that you will have a problem in any gym following that.
I've been going to the same gym for five years now, started as a 320lber who could barely lift the five pound dumbbells.
Noone commented. Ever.
I'm extremly luckly that there is a good 1on1 gym in my area. My personal trainer has already set up the machines to perfectly fit my weight and height when I'm droping in. He makes sure my form is correct while I do my training and also pushes me to muscle failure. It's expensive, but really worth all the money.
Thought this was awesome advice, thank you
Do you care about others when you walk into the gym? No you don’t care. You only care about what you look like, same as everybody else. Yea there are some fucking retards that enjoy the whole “I’m going to eyeball until you piss your pants” thing, but they’re crazy.
Get in there with a smile and love the pain when your muscles are screaming at you to stop (cos you know you’re doing it right).
Always remember if you’re feeling lazy and don’t want to go, that after your session you’ll feel like a king with all those feelgood chemicals your brain releases, PLUS your body will increase it’s testosterone production, not only turning you into a more manly version of yourself but also increasing your attraction levels to women on a hormonal level.
GET IN THERE SON
I go to a local "fitness club"-type gym. It's modern, small and has everything I need. Plus the customers are friendly but keep to themselves. The staff is available 24/7 for anything I need. Living in a small town helps too.
It serves my needs while being affordable while also not being very busy most of the times (except after work 5-7pm, of course)
I've never felt anything but welcome there. The first time I stepped in I was nervous because everyone looked muscular while I was short and skinny. No one looked or cared. Now I smile and say hello to older people, fat people, muscular guys etc. But I work out for me. It's my temple and no one distracts me.
Man the first time I went to the gym I was lost and still learning trp that was almost 3 years ago. The things I learned along the way was immense
I had a conversation with 2 friends the other day about gym embarrassment. We're all regulars at the same gym and Friend A is really overweight and Friend B is pretty muscular. Friend A claims that nobody really cares about you at the gym but Friend B claimed that he was wrong. I asked if Friend A cares about what other people do at the gym and he said no. Asked the same question to Friend B and he said that he judges everyone. It occurred to me that the only people who really judge others are those who are really worried about other people judging them.
I've been in the gym for years now, i've seen plenty of fucked up bodies and all I can think is "oh, good for you, you gotta start somewhere".
When I dead-lift 295lbs, I would not give a single damn attention to anyone who is not there to spot for me.
Actually I have found it to be quite the opposite to newcomers being mocked. I've been to many different gyms throughout my 10+ years lifting, also working at 2 different gyms as a personal trainer. What I've found is the biggest guys are most likely to be mocked. In the last couple years, I've been routinely the largest guy in my gym (it's a small gym though, I'm only 225lbs, so not MASSIVE, and the competition isn't at the level of most gyms). I have heard smaller guys on MANY occasions snicker at me, mocking me for being "roided out" and "a showoff". They have no clue how long and hard I've been excersizing, and how strict my diet and supplementation regimen is. Never once from when I started at 145lbs, through my first few years lifting did I have anyone sneer at me. And I was WEAK.
I know it comes from a place of jealously, but still annoying. Trust me, at most gyms, the biggest guys are usually the target (never to their face mind you), and the average guy is not even looked at twice.
Despite this, the way most people treat you when you build an appreciable amount of muscle is almost magic. I get more attention from women, respected more in professional and social environments, and people are more friendly in general. If you haven't started lifting yet, you need to start yesterday.
If you cant walk in the door to the fucking gym, it is way more important that you get in there on a regular basis. For you this isn't just an exercise for your body, it will be an exercise for your mind. Feel the fear and walk in. The more you do it, the more your mind will stop associating this irrational fear with the gym. this carries over to the rest of your life. Do you want to be better? Stop giving a fuck about what other people think especially if its random gym bros.
When I see someone lifting an impressive amount of weight, "good for them"
When I see someone lifting a beginners amount of weight, "good for them"
I dont know what gyms you guys go to but i always get tips on how to do some exercise if i do something wrong. Been hitting the gym for 2 months now. i am really skinny and and no real experience but so far theres only 2 types of people. Those who dont care at all or those who come and help u out. I think theres more people who actually know the beginners struggle than thos who gloat. So yes. No point feeling anxiety hitting the gym beginners.
Holy shit thanks
I have always felt this. More so in my subconscious I’d would go and just feel eyes on me. And that would give me a excuses to quit. (Meaning I myself used that as an excuse) I’ve been making workout plans and doing home workouts but really have been wanting to join a gym but was worried this aspect would ruin my motivation. This is just what I needed to read thanks allot . (
And I did know this but I guess first time I’ve ever Hurd it from anyone that actually goes to gym.
Can confirm, I work at a local gym and it was rough at first, worrying that someone's staring, worried about dropping the weights too loudly and people staring, but after that brief moment to see if anything interesting happened (which it didn't), they go back to what they were doing, to each, their own gains! Since going to the gym, it's greatly helped me around strangers. Once you settle into your gym, you'll never have that problem again.
I was skinny as they come. 5'7'' and hardly 120 lbs when I first started out -- couldn't do 4 pushups and the trainer put me on the 3 kg dumbells in the beginning. You can imagine how beta this inherently will make you.
Here's what. No one said a damn thing - hell no one even bothers.
Nearly everyone, if you're trading sets on say, the bench press will be ready to help out if they aren't busy themselves. Just give space for everyone and don't interrupt someone in the middle of a set.
I've seen all sort of people in the gym, even people for whom any kind of movement would classify as cardio.
I had read up well, knew the right exercises and increased my protein intake. It was not long before I could tell how many around me wouldn't be much farther around from where they started the way they worked out - and that's a lot. Also as a beginner, I made gains quite rapidly, which increases your confidence a lot. The impact on your posture and body language is definitely noticeable.
The only time I really acknowledge newcomers is when they're clearly doing more weight than they should and it causes them to have horrible form, or even just doing a workout totally wrong in general. If you're slightly educated and kinda know what you're doing, you'll be fine. All you need to do is watch a few tutorials on youtube for whatever workouts you want to do.
This is one of those faces I love about lifting heavy shit, it's all about hitting your next goal, pushing yourself that much further and developing an intimate relationship with that iron bar.
Yeah, personally I'm at 7 inches. Should hit 8 by christmas.
Not true. I am constantly judging everyone in the gym and so are all my friends.
I make judgements about people at the gym and I assume people judge me as well. The important distinction is that I and everybody else at the gym keep our judgements to ourselves. I support publicly body-shaming fat people everywhere else, but if they're at the gym working out they are doing what they supposed to be doing to fix their weight problems.
It boggles my mind how many here have never stepped foot inside a gym. Did none of you guys play ANY high school sports?
Played lots of sports, only had 1-3 "weight room" days during preseason. Only football (and maybe wrestling) was in there regularly.
I am genuinely surprised at this entire post. 'Go lift' is a fucking mantra around here. There's this much attention about a post for weak men afraid of going to the gym? And these guys want to be in the top 20%. Yikes.
Makes no sense at all. Confirms my theory that there is also an 80%/20% rule here on TRP. 80% of the users here aren't actually red pilled. They don't lift, they don't have game, they don't practice TRP principles.
Consider body weight fitness. You can do it at home. No cost. less risk of injury. It allows you to sculpt your body better then with machines as well.
I actually hate newcomers to the gym because there's a good chance they have zero gym etiquette. "Why don't you teach them," you'll ask me. Because I don't care enough to get involved. I just hate them secretly. They don't know I hate them. Also, to be honest, I enjoy looking that much better than the general population so I'm fine with you being a fat loser. More for me!
i think depends on the type of gym you train at. commercial gym, sure. crossfit or specific sport gym, more positive support from other members.
Douchebags outside gym will be douchebags inside gym.
Ok lol how does a blatant lie have 1000 upvotes. Before you go to the gym make sure you can do basic fitness- some push-ups and sit ups. This guys advice is for new randoms introduced to TRP who are salivating at the thought of being alpha. That's not how this works. At the gym, it is a subtle competition, (everything is a competition tbf) Unless you can't compete. In which case back to my original point, do some push-ups and sit ups, and once you don't look like a random find a workout plan you would like to do. Basically, do not go to the gym if you're there to "get fit" without being able to "get fit." Unless you are strictly going for hiit training on a treadmill to shred the weight.
Hate to break it to you but if you think you’re in subtle competition with everyone else in the gym you’re never gonna make it brah
I understand ur trying to make it I do. I started at 25 lbs dumbells 4 years ago for incline single arm rotational press. Now I'm at 85s including neck surgery recovery. If you're not in a competition at the gym you're gonna stay small brah. I'm 6-3 178. I do 32 pull-ups in a row. I do 28 dips in a row. I have my nasm cpt. Just because you're not in good enough shape to get noticed positively, does not mean people don't notice you. Quit karma grabbing on trp and don't post this trash.
I’d love to quit but sad to say I have a crippling karma addiction and simply can’t stop posting insightful posts. I’m seeing a therapist this weekend.
Gym is a waste of time. All this shit is genetically predetermined. A guy with shit genetics can spin his wheels in the gym for years and still not be as big/strong as a genetically gifted Chad who just does calisthenics a few days a week.
First time benching at the age of 16 Jay Cutler was able to put up 3 fucking plates. I just hit a 3 plate bench a couple months ago after over 3 years of busting my ass trying to improve my bench. At the age of 27.
It's all about genetics.