Summary: Back a few years ago when I was first learning a lot of TRP and manosphere stuff, one of my biggest influences and someone I learned much from was a poster on SoSuave called Jophil. He was an older gentleman, in his 40’s or 50’s I think, from Australia, who sadly passed away a few years ago. His messages about dealing with disrespect from women, having boundaries, and holding frame are formative to my approach today … and a lot of the responses I write here are based on his and others golden advice I learned all those years ago.
I’ve assembled some of my favorite passages and writings of his into this “book”, before all of it is lost to the passage of time. Hopefully, you can take and learn from it as well.
Note: Below are just snippets from each post, but just in case the links should ever disappear or stop working at some point in the future, I’ve put the full posts here: The Book of Jophil
- Being a Man with Boundaries - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-counseling-profession-and-their-mindgames.168190/page-9#post-1640215
- If you have time, read the entire thread, it’s a lot of gold, with comments from Rollo, Warrior74, Sinistar, and some of the other old legends in the Manosphere.
- I do not believe that I have a bigger set of "balls" than any of you guys. What I do have is a self-crafted set of rules and guidelines to apply to disrespectful situations with women. And I am willing to use them, sometimes ruthlessly if the situation warrants it. Curiously, as much as I disagree with a lot of STR8up's stuff, his "walk away" strategy made sense with me after I got past the belief that "walking away" was a kind of surrender, or admission of defeat. I now embrace the power of silence and the power of just walking away from a woman who is acting poorly.
- Disrespect, Walking Away, and the Power of Silence - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-to-next-after-she-disrespects-you.126307/page-4#post-1474510
- This is actually a response to Jophil by another poster, but too much golden wisdom not to share
- Many women are blind to their own behaviour it seems. Until you point it out in a language they understand. That language is silence. And silent withdrawal of the one thing they thrive on: affection … Just walk away. It's the loudest way to say: F!ck you, childish creature, without actually saying it.
- Commitment-Phobic Girls - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/i-must-stay-clear-of-her-shes-poison.132366/#post-1252675
- There are women out there who "talk" commitment but continuously sabotage their intimate relationships when it DEMANDS something of them. I do not call it commitment phobic as such it is more than that. These women are so damaged that they are unfit for an adult relationship. They "compartmentalize" their relationships with everyone. These women want, and expect, all the fun and rewards of a relationship with a man BUT they are NEVER willing to contribute anything in return. They want the involvement from a man. but they want to live the single life and DO AS THEY PLEASE.
- You’re Just the Latest Leading Man in the Latest Remake of Her Life Movie - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/she-needs-space-where-did-it-go-wrong.180277/#post-1762700
- Sandow, I believe that we men need to go thought at least one of these experiences with an uber hottie to realize how fragile and superficial they are. They have been worshipped and fawned over their whole lives because of their looks and sexual desirability. That becomes their intrinsic value. Their existence comprises a series of 'buzz experiences', one after the other, with men who treat them like the glittering prizes that they believe that they are. You are the latest leading man in the latest remake of her life movie.
- Flaky Women – Part 1 … Part 2 … Part 3
- Women who flake (without a credible apology PLUS a counter offer) are of the mindset that holds this belief: "I am a woman and that entitles me to act in any way I please. I have that golden pvssy that all men want and that gives me the power, and a license, to do whatever I want whenever I want without being held accountable." The best method to counter this crap is to act as if her behavior is IRRELEVANT to you. Do not call her on it, or get angry. Do not email, text or call her for an explanation. Act as if she does not exist and move on QUICKLY. Remember this - if you ever confront a flakey woman on her bad behavior, she will immediately shift blame in her mind onto you for making her feel "bad" by calling her on it.
- Flaking – Low Interest or Low Quality Girl? http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/when-in-doubt-do-nothing.134007/page-2#post-1271768
- The assumption on this board is that women mindfvck you or flake because of their low IL. I believe that this assumption is more a projection on our part rather that a legitimate explanation ... My own experience is that women's bad behavior is habitual rather than circumstantial. In other words, a flakey woman is doing "her thing". I grant you that she is more LIKELY to flake if her IL is low but it is a contributing factor rather that a clear cause. Low IL motivates a badly behaved woman to act worse. It does NOT cause a good woman to act badly. "Flaking" goes to low character or her habitual MO, rather than a clear indicator of her IL in you.
- Dating Women Just out of an LTR - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/does-anyone-just-get-tired-of-the-games.124601/#post-1169167
- When a woman breaks up, she tends to quickly retreat into the safety of her relationships with her children, sisters, girlfriends, mother, work pals and so on. Women do not tend to seek a replacement MAN in the same way that we go hunting for a replacement woman. Women typically enter an ego restoration phase in which they hide from men initially and then seek shallow dating experiences which are used to give them EGO REPAIR, superficial play and fun which affirm that they still are marketable - "they still GOT it". This period is a danger zone for men in your position. Beware!! You will get some initial hot sex (it makes HER feel desirable) and then you will start to get the flaky behavior and the 'to and fro' games and all the BS that only emotional unstable women can create.
- Screening Women … aka “Spinning Plates” Does not Solve All Problems - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-not-to-fall.165886/#post-1617018
- "Spinning other plates" is limited in its effectiveness. It MIGHT save you from getting oneitis for a low quality woman, but it won't help much if you are actively seeking a good woman for an LTR.
- Response from Mr. Me: I'd also look at why you're getting hurt... you're either pushing the woman (since you develop feelings so quickly) and she gets turned off and dumps you, and you get hurt, or you're getting involved with the wrong women: Women who aren't that interested and/or are using you or have a less then loving disposition or have issues or major character flaws. But when you're getting hurt, it does mean you're doing something wrong.
- Frame Grabs and How to Respond – Part 1 … Part 2
- This is a power grab by her in which she is trying to set up control of the velocity and direction. The fact that she is already trying to take charge is not a good sign. She is declaring her own favorite tactic – power and control. A less aware man would just go along with this and conclude that she is just a little gun-shy. Don't fall into that thinking - she is trying to set the frame. The way to weaken, or dismantle this tactic is to just shrug and ignore her resistance or walk away.
As Jophil would say: Good Hunting