How does anyone find anyone?

1,203 points•466 comments•submitted by royalmouse1 to r/dating_advice

I was looking up the odds of finding the one and the math of finding someone. If you take boston for instance, with about 200k people our age, 1/3rd of them single, 1/2 of them males, that only leaves about 30k single men.

Is it fair to say I'm only attracted to about 1/10th of guys? That's 3k.

So that's saying the only standard you have is attraction. Theres only 3000 eligible bachelors in a giant city like Boston. Based off attraction, availability, and gender.

But what about other stuff? Are they educated? Do they have the same goals(travel, career, children)? Are they decent people(tip servers well, treat their mothers with respect, not abusive assholes)? Are they intelligent, emotionally available? Do they like going out or are they homebodies? What about political stance?

I feel panicked

EDIT: I dont know if I'm only attracted to 1 in 10. I just guessed that number based off how many guys I swipe on tinder and how many guys I am interested in pursuing at bars/clubs. Could be 1 in 5 or 1 in 3 or 1 in 15. Its a hard thing to calculate. No one finds everyone attractive.

EDIT: thank you for all the advice! Lots of "lower your standards" and "stop being shallow" but also a lot of helpful, awesome stories and advice that has made me feel more okay with it!

I think I've decided to just become my own soulmate and act as though finding the one is impossible, because logistically it seems that way. As many of you have stated, love isnt logical, but unfortunately I am.

But I'll also try to believe in magic and keep an open mind, but until then, I love me and that's enough.