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Accidentally fucked my first cousin

Reddit View
August 31, 2017

To make a long story short haven't seen her in years she has a very common name so I just assumed she wasn't related. We we're at a buddies house party and I brought her back to mine only exchanging first names. She got my last name after sex then started freaking out and said do you know aunt x I was like yeah. And she's like we're fucking related what the fuck. I was kind of frazzled so I just said it's ok because people do this all the time in West Virginia. Called her a cab. She texted me today saying she's gonna be coming back to family gatherings as she was away for years. How do I not make thanks giving awkward trp?

Post Information
Title Accidentally fucked my first cousin
Upvotes 57
Comments 79
Date 31 August 2017 09:19 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
the red pill

[–]TheRecycledMale120 points121 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not making Thanksgiving awkward?

Don't wear a t-shirt that says "Cousin Elly is a Slut, I know, because I fucked her"

[–][deleted] 155 points156 points  (14 children) | Copy

Lol. There is no problem. Just pretend it didnt happen. I hope you wore a condom because otherwise it would be retarded.

Get it?

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor95 points96 points  (7 children) | Copy

There ain't nothin wrong with cousin fuckin. It's the cousin breedin thats the problem.

[–]D4rkr4in12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just watch some game of thrones and all your cousin fucking will be normalized

[–]htbf8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even then. As long as it's not tradition, it's pretty much alright. This is a Christian thing, not a science thing.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy


[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Odd question coming from someone named "jackandjill"

See my other reply.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ah, I see. Fantastic sense of humor. Also, for the record mine is deadpan ironic. So, perhaps that would explain the username a-little.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What amazes me is no one has ever asked me about it.

It was a troll. The truth is I used to be a big time poster around here in the early days. I had another user with karma that dwarfs this one. However, as with all places internet, I got tired of all the retards that started flowing into the subs, acting offended and bitchy about anything and everything. So I started coming here less and less.

One day an old friend wanted to fuck with another friend, so I regged this account. It was a play on Bigus Dickus. It was topical to the intended troll. As I was working the troll, I saw a post on a sub throwing a tantrum about this place. So I came here to read and we all know what that does to some people...

My old friends around here would be absolutely fucking mortified if they knew I was an EC on TRP. Fuck em. heh

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, that's interesting. Yea, forums often go through a transformational period before they reach their final version/incarnation. I can see why you took a break.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

it would be retarded.

Take my upvote.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Username checks out

[–]Fryguy480 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not encouraging cousin breeding, but it probably wouldn't be retarded. They are far enough away in relations that it would be okay. If they were siblings than the chances are higher, but even then it usually takes a couple generations of inbreeding.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It was a jook, man

[–]Fryguy480 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh... that went right over my head.

[–]RedSkeller64 points65 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you'll always have a plate ready for you at Thanksgiving

[–]Redpillwhiterabbit7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take the god damn upvote and get out

[–]LeBroney70 points71 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ok Jon Snow

[–]bunkmacleod8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol too soon.

[–]ranigma2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not soon enough

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well, it's high time you learned to play the banjo, son.

She texted me today saying she's gonna be coming back to family gatherings as she was away for years. How do I not make thanks giving awkward trp?

What's done is done. Just mutually-agree that nothing ever happened, and to both STFU about it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I laughed

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen43 points44 points  (9 children) | Copy

Where's the problem?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's no such thing as "awkward" unless other people know about your stuff.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

All future family gatherings how to not make this awkward?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen86 points87 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why would it be awkward? What could happen? Will she undress in front of the family? will she ask you if you want to fuck her again at the diner table?

There is no fucking problem. You fucked a girl and you might meet her again. end of story. It only becomes awkward if you make it awkward.

"Hi. How are you?"

What's awkward about that?

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock46 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy

</end thread>

[–]somebullshitrp16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can't even tell you the number of times my family members have stripped down and propositioned me for sex at the dinner table.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pics or it didn't happen.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Easy. It never happened.

[–]InscrutablePUA16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a troll post

[–]GreenPiller13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]TryhardPantiesON9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

r/gonewildstories is leaking

lmao unbelievable post

[–]Zanford7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn't thought faster. "Oh, it's cool, I was adopted" or "jk your aunt so-and-so was a friend of my father's they always thought it was funny they had the same last names".

If she bothered to text you, it means she might be up for round 2 if you play your cards right. If she was truly disgusted or creeped out she would not have taken initiative to text.

You can guaran-fucking-tee she won't be telling anyone about this or future encounters, so there's no awkwardness if you play it cool, and her guaranteed silence makes her perfect as a plate or side piece, especially if you get into a LTR with someone else and want a discrete side piece who won't push for an LTR of her own.

If you actually see her at any family gatherings (which you may not, she made that crap up on the fly), obv play it cool like it never happened and act like you barely know her.

[–]Westernhagen6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

She texted me today saying she's gonna be coming back to family gatherings as she was away for years.

Your response:

"Netflix and chill later?"

[–]vajav10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

go anal from now on, to play it safe

[–]SoloAlbum15 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy

Same TRP practice applies, play it off like you don't care, then plate her when she inevitably wants to do it again.

[–]SW9876 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Wow you must be really desperate if you'd be willing to plate your 1st cousin. You need an abundance mentality /u/soloalbum

[–]TrenGod3724 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lack of abundance or savagery!?!

Who are we to judge?

[–]Shukakun0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Wow you must be really starving if you'd be willing to eat locally grown apples. Everyone knows you should only eat imported apples. Gross.

Or, you know, female cousins are just girls. Like /u/max_peenor said, as long as you aren't breeding, it isn't a problem. Now, if you've grown up with her and have a sibling-like relationship, that's another story. But a lot of the time people barely know their cousins. So by all means, sleep with them. Why the hell not?

[–]dgillz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It doesn't even matter if you breed. 1st cousin marriage is legal in 30 state IIRC, including places like NY, CA, CO, etc. It isn't just red-necked states. There is close to zero additional chance of having genetic issues from 1st cousins breeding.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, to be honest I was joking, using the redneck vernacular and all.

Nevertheless, I had a year long affair with a second cousin once removed. That would be legal in any state.

I got very drunk one night with a closer cousin and the only thing that kept that deal from closing was the shear level of our intoxication. She passed out and I started projective puking all over a blow up doll.

Now while I completely told the truth, the actual story is a lot less cool. This is why I never clarify.

Oh and my sister? Ewwwwwwww! No way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why the hell do it though. There's literally no point, there are plenty of girls out there to not fuck your own cousin. There's a shitton of complications that can arise if things go sour between you and your cousin, it's just not worth.

[–]SW9876 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Why the hell not?

Because she's your cousin.

[–]Shukakun4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, now that right there sure changed my mind. Are you gonna make retarded kids? No? Are you close enough that your feelings about each other are sibling-like/platonic? No? Then it's literally just a girl. I personally have about 60-65 cousins, 10-15 who I've never even met. How are they any different from strangers if I don't plan to impregnate them, exactly?

[–]ReaperOfSouls_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Arabian_Wolf3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

In arabia cousins get married and have children.

It's ok man she's not your sister.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are you using Arabia as a benchmark for anything that makes sense ?

[–]Arabian_Wolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


Well you guys can only dream of marriage rules and regulations here, including marrying that cousin who was probably your first oneitis.

[–]my_sfw_alias1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And you can just get the village to murder her when you're all finished

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You knew nothing.

[–]dontgiveupcarib1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Relax it was an accident, first cousin marriages happened in all societies for millennia. Just brush it off and keep it as a funny story to tell your close friends when you're fishing.

[–]Peter_B_Long1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just lead the vibe of the night so that it's not awkward. You're the leader. If you have an awkward vibe, then she will have an awkward vibe. Be chill, be understanding, and like you said, in your state it's normal to fuck your cousin. If it helps, bring another girl to your family dinner so you have someone else to focus on (preferably not another cousin)

[–]LordThunderbolt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plate her

[–]mbillion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

act like it didnt happen just like she is going to

[–]WhorehouseVet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What, no one made a joke that OP should break both his arms? I'm shocked!

[–]Toasters771 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask her if she's up for round 2

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she wants it again. She mentioned she wants to come back to more reunions.

This shit really turns her on more than Chad since its so taboo. Even if its shitty sex the idea of it makes her very wet.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It happened. Nothing you can do to reverse it. While humans have an evolutionary mental barrier for incest yours was totally by accident. Remove it from your mind and just go on as whatever. Don't be awkward around her. You being stoic about the whole thing will put her at ease during family gatherings. Just don't get too sloppy drunk and tell people

[–]JSizzl30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah r/TIFU is that way...

[–]gaki1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"West Virginia" LOL!

[–]Zack97640 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

LOL do you live in WV, is that why you said that. Anyway its only awkward if you make it awkward.. Move on and forget about it. You probably wont, but try at least and pretend it never happened and just talk to her and approach her as if it never happened.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No on the border of wv and Maryland panhandle in rural pa. So only semi excuseable

[–]Bear-With-Bit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If this is shit post... Hahahaha

[–]zayelion0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Act like it never happened, if she talks about it play dumb. Sometimes,... even sexual strategy has limits, and retarded babies are a no go.

[–]TheStumblingWolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never have I seen "don't shit where you eat" go so wrong lol

[–]EXjayW0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not real. The WV comment gave it away.

[–]satanicpriest130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This isn't 4chan

[–]SovereignSoul760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you really want to be alpha, you have to acknowledge that you'll prob accidentally bang at least like 4 cousins along the way. Gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

[–]failberry0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares? Fuck her again if you're both down. Nobody gives a shit.

If not, just pretend it didn't happen. No big deal either way.

[–]Dreamlancer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't see the problem. In fact, she text you back about her coming to family gatherings again. You don't need to bring it up at all frankly. However the fact that she brought it up to you is really just one of the two: Either she is still interested, or she just doesn't want things to be awkward for future gatherings.

Either way as long as you aren't still actively trying to get into her pants without thoroughly assessing which way the wind is blowing, it shouldn't be an issue at all.

[–]PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

try not to get hard while looking at her in front of Auntie Mae

then fuck her later. what ever.

normalize what ever you want.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]sesasees0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So actually in the Arab world, I know a lot of married couples who are also first cousins. I know it's freaky but it is what it is. This is hilarious (to me) but not as weird as you'd think it is

[–]soskrood3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is called inbreeding. All fun and games until your kids come out retarded or with birth defects.

There is a reason "Arab" is not associated with "prosperous well run society".

[–]sesasees0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Someone else mentioned that this is normal in Southern Europe. I know this isn't the best thing for the kids but I've seen the kids of these cousins - they're fine. It's only a problem after several generations.

They just don't have the stigma of first cousins being considered inbred. This also applies to Iran and so on beyond the Arab world.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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