The third anniversary of me saying "fuck it, let's try TRP" has recently passed and I'm going to take the chance to condense all that's happened and I've learned and give it back to the community
I wasn't an outcast, permavirgin, or other incel-type. I grew up in a middle class family with a stable marriage, went to decent but not amazing public schools, had some but not overwhemingly many friends growing up, played sports but wasn't a star, and had a string of long-term girlfriends but no wild sex life.
In short, I spent most of my life as your Standard Template Average Dude.
My peculiarity was that I always, for as long as I can remember, wanted to figure out how things worked. Even more than figuring out how to make them work for me. I was the kind of kid that gets a toy car and disassembles it to look at the bits inside, then puts it together and finally actually plays with it.
With women, I've always been the same, which would have worked great if I wasn't also hampered by hammered in notions about how a "proper" boyfriend ought to be: faithful, supportive, non-judgemental, yadda yadda yadda. Basically, women were just about the one thing about which I didn't allow myself to be inquisitive and figure out what the mechanics were.
Still, in secret, I frequented vile internet forums where men were exchanging tips on how to get pussy. To give you an idea how long I've been reading this stuff, the first discussions I remember were about the soon-to-be-published The Game.
While I was reading that vile, sexist, absolutely forbidden stuff, I kept being in relationships that followed a predictable parable. Let me know if you've heard this one: boy is pretty chaddish, attracts girl, they get together, boy betafies, relationship fizzles out. Rinse and repeat. That was me.
Eventually, 3 years ago I had enough. I was no longer willing to just go through the cycle, no longer interested in another repetition, and had finally been worn down by reality enough to accept that my moral quandries were perhaps bullshit. So, on a whim, I said "fuck it, let's try TRP", which I had been reading for a while by then.
First forays into pussyland
At that point, I was a fresh college grad with a reasonable income, some adult independence, and no fucks left to give. So I tried shit.
I did not just adopt TRP as a faith-given mantra. That wasn't what I was looking for. I allowed myself to experiment with all ideas that striked me as interesting; I kept what worked, and discarded or changed what didn't. Rinse, repeat.
I made mistakes a-plenty. I got into some embarrassing situations, some stupid ones, and some crazy ones. I made a fool of myself, pissed people off, shocked friends, made others in places I never would have thought to go.
Eventually I came out the other way, and awaiting me was the wonderful nation of Pussyland.
What it's like in Pussyland
You know in Fight Club, when the narrator says that after fighting, the world gets the volume turned down? in Pussyland it's like that, except it's the search for pussy that gets the volume turned down.
To put it another way, Chad is not the guy who's worrying about pussy. Pussy comes easily, as part of your lifestyle, and it's honestly just not a big deal. Fuck one, lose one, you realize it literally doesn't matter any more than other fleeting pleasures, ie very little.
The constant, driving horniness and frustration of the Average Frustrated Chump (an old-school PUA term that I think is still very valid) just gets toned down, and you realize how many other things matter far more. In the past, I would have and did hamper other aspects of life to chase pussy; nowadays, I'd drop any given woman without a second's thought if I needed to focus on something else.
Enough with the bullshit: what I learned
Lesson 0: your journey is your journey, and will never be exactly the same as anyone else's. You must take inspiration from the stories you read, but you'll always have to find your way to apply those lessons to your life, circumstances and objectives.
This was a big one for me, because for way too long I stumbled through trying to just imitate the latest approach that caught my fancy. Eventually I learned to take an experimentalist artisan's take on it: use what worked for me the way it worked for me, even if it's different from what I had read other guys doing.
Lesson 1. flirting and sex are natural, and 90% of your job is deprogramming yourself from the bullshit ineffectual behaviors society has imprinted on you.
I was initially under the mistaken impression, reinforced by approaches that focus too much on techniques and tricks, that attracting and bedding women was a chess game in which you had to keep in mind myriad strategies and apply the right ones in sequence. It's exactly the opposite: relaxing, leaning back into the chair and letting your natural instincts take over is by far the most important skill to learn. I'd venture that at most 10%, and probably as little as 5% of game is about learning any kind of consciously applied technique.
The best way I can explain this is the following: think of eating some tasty food. Your mouth, tongue and brain know exactly what to do. You don't have to consciously think about chewing or how your tongue moves. If you did that, eating would be a terribly stressful and unsatisfying experience. It's the exact same thing with flirting and sex.
Lesson 2: it really doesn't take much effort at all to attract far more women than you can manage.
I read this helpful explainer a while ago: you have 7 nights and two days a week, assuming you work a typical day job. That's not much free time at all. If you have friends, hobbies, interests etc, your agenda will fill up fast. How much time do you want to give to women? for me it's not more than two nights a week, unless I can have easy home-delivered sex for after I've done something interesting in one of the other nights, and even then I might very likely prefer getting more rest and sleep to be more productive the next day.
How many women can you keep in that kind of rotation? 3 or 4 is plenty. So let's say you have an abysmal success rate on Tinder and get a viable match every 3 months. That means you'll fill up your roster within a year. That's with an abysmal success rate, mind you. At that point you'll have to stop getting more women because managing the turn rotation of your bitches will become more trouble than is worth (at least in my experience, if you're happy doing that shit then more power to you).
Lesson 3: frame is, by far, the most attractive male characteristic.
There are really only two moments to getting a woman: the first spark of attraction that means she'll talk to you, and everything that follows, which is 100% about you holding frame. Stripped to the bare bones, there really is nothing else.
To get that first spark sure, you need to have something: looking hot helps, as does being the "type" she's currently convinced she likes, or having a witty opener, or whatever. But once you're in, once you're down talking, in one way or another it's all about frame: the quality of your jokes, your ability to vibe, your capacity to pass shit tests are all down to how solid your frame in, ie whether you are secure enough in yourself and your view of reality that you can just sit back, relax and let your natural male energy pour out and invest her.
Beyond all the abstractions and details of analysis, across all my interactions and regardless of with whom and in what circumstances they were, that is the constant I found to be completely determinant: frame and whether I was holding onto it. Nothing more. It effectively doesn't matter how similar or different you are, how your sense of humor is or if you have anything in common: no matter the status of any of these questions, if she sees you holding frame she'll hamster that she's attracted to those characteristics.
To be blunt: I've fucked an endless number of vocally feminist chicks, when I'm anything but. Of those that discovered it, not a single one was any less attracted, and all hamstered a reason for why my sexism was not the problem they would have sworn it'd be with anyone else.
Lesson 4: women are all horny sluts who can't control themselves
This was perhaps the hardest one to accept, because like most men I had always assumed that we are the horny gender who does stupid stuff for sex. Nope, nope, nope.
Women are desperately horny. They are just as horny as teenage boys, with the key difference that they're only horny for alpha dick, the most scarce commodity in the world. When they smell alpha dick, their horniness turns into a terrible unstoppable behemoth and they will make sure to get that alpha dick for themselves.
I can not overstate how desperate the average girl is for a man that is a man, that doesn't behave around her as if she's a capricous porcelain doll, that calls her out on her bullshit and that fully understands that she's just as interested in sex as he is, if not more. Women are used to dealing with betas all the time, and it's exhausting for them; the sheer relief at interacting with an alpha is like a glow you can see on them.
If you give a woman that experience, by the time you're into bed 95% of the job is done. For women (and I'd argue it's actually the case for men too, but that's a discussion for another time), arousal is almost only an emotional process, very little of it stems from the physical realm. If your woman is extremely into you before reaching the bed, she'll enjoy herself almost in spite of what you do. 5% at most of this process is about knowing and employing technical notions about sex; your natural behavior will be much more than enough.
tl;dr (though read it, I've made the effort so you can too:
take an experimentalist artisan's view: don't bother with following any doctrine, test shit out and keep what works, modified from the form you found it in if necessary
90% of the job is not about learning techniques, it's about learning to sit back and relax and letting your natural behaviors emerge
you're 100% vastly overestimating the amount of effort it takes to live an extremely abundant sex life
frame is by far the most important engine of attraction and will override almost anything once a woman experiences it
women are desperately horny for alpha dick, even more than most men are horny for pussy in general