This one's a doozy so catch it quick before I delete it. Reddit is compromised and while I do enjoy writing these for you, the management and endorsed will be first in line on the dox firing squad when all inevitably goes to shit.

I've got a naked girl in my bed, a bag of weed and enough vasopressin in me to tell a few good stories ...and share some insights. I can't aim to beat Dr.Warlocks recent masterpiece that's hit the front page right now, he's been doing this shit for years and has the concise no-bs teaching shit locked down. Instead, I'm going to ramble about some of my approaches at the gym, and hopefully inspire a few guys to start approaching too.

Gym Thots

So, a guy recently asked a question on asktrp about hitting on girls at the gym and whether it was a good idea, and if anyone had any stories. The replies are good, and he's been given good advice. Generally, the consensus is to not shit where you eat, and that's normally very sound. Because often at the gym, hitting on a girl can go completely wrong and end in humiliation.

However, I'll let you into a little secret... most of the pretty girls at the gym are there to get hit on. It's true. They will deny it but we've all experienced it; the bouncy college girl who turns up in her best lululemon, does a few stretches, runs for a bit while instagraming, wonders around for a while... and then leaves.

And there are loads of these girls! Weekday afternoons at my gym we have a slim persian with rocking jugs showing 90% bare skin, hanging around the weights area hip thrusting and begging for male attention. These girls are horny as hell! They are crazy! They come to the gym to check out sweaty hot guys and show themselves off.

Of course there are women there who actually want to workout. The fat ones, the old ones, and the athletes. You will know who these are immediately; they keep to themselves and don't want any of your shit. Do not bother these women.

But the Mannequins, they make an entrance, they want you to see them. Like a bird of paradise, she fluffs her neon nike feathers, does her ab wheel dance and sings her song of "umm, could you help me move this -teehee-?"

Because yes, just like any possible place you can game, the gym is one of them, and if you get obvious IOIs from girls at the gym, don't be an idiot and go capitalise.

Most will hover around you, sometimes following you between stations. Stealing glances and hoping you'll say something. They may pick the treadmill next to you, or mimic your workout.

The braver ones will actually say something to you, in an effort to get you to open. This occurs especially if she's been trying to get your attention for a while but you've been oblivious or hesitant.

But the Mannequins all have one thing in common, they're not really there to exercise. If you watched them you'd notice they don't break a sweat at all. They're there to have an excuse to wear their expensive workout clothes and take instagram photos for later, and if a guy notices her ass and gets her number well, it just happened you know? ;)

Approach Methods

Girls are just as horny as we are if not more... ALL THE TIME! If you don't believe me you haven't been getting laid enough. I used to think women were noble and pure and had control of their impulses, unlike us disgusting male savages. Bullshit, it was all a lie. They are crazier and hornier than most of you guys can even imagine. Wait till you experience that shit man.

So hit on these girls, that's what they want. They like it. Sure you might get shot down, but only becuase you're ugly, not because you're at the gym. Most of the time, you will do surprisingly well... a lot of guys don't have the balls to approach anywhere, let alone the gym. She will like that.

But you need a few things first, which, if you've been doing your homework on my posts are:

(1) Frame, and the ability to approach in a hostile arena like the gym. If you cannot first make small talk and befriend the lifting regulars you see, there's no way you can approach the insta thots. Become a "somebody", know the management and regulars, give yourself some social proof and hope that the thots see you displaying it, and then you're ready to start tackling real women.

Because seriously, some guys on here are attempting model tier level approaches, hard mode, when they can barely make small talk with their subway sandwich artist. Gain some xp at the lower ranks first man. Learn to game dudes.

(2) A rocking bod. Of course. You're competing with jacked dudes and athletes, if you're a skinny or fat fuck, you can just stop here. You're at the gym to lift, so gain some size first, and then start approaching girls. Otherwise you will be politely laughed at. And not just by her. I have experienced this sadly.... stories below.

(3) Plausible Deniability. Always! Have an excuse to start talking to her, don't sexualise early, and have her guessing your intentions. Sometimes, you will be lucky and she will open you. Once again, use your damn head and methods of deduction; you will know whether it is just a girl being polite and asking for weights, or if she's interested in you; you will see it in the eyes normally, girls are good at reading intentions in the face like this... it is a skill that you should develop too, and you will over time.

Anyway, remember the fat, the old and the athletes. If they talk to you, they speak to you as just another gym bro. Female weightlifters are serious man, I don't think I could ever approach a girl who looked like she could OHP my bodyweight.

So now we've had the theory; it's story time. I approach at the gym; not as much as I'd hope, but a significant amount. I pussy out a lot too, don't get me wrong, but I've had some good experiences and some shocking failures. I'm going to write out the best ones I remember, it may make the post a bit too long but I'm not bothered, if you're still here by now you're in for the ride. Plus, I should probably write all the shit down before I lose it all to marijuana induced Alzheimers. My future self will thank me.

(1) First ever gym approach.

I was squatting. She was doing her stretches and yoga and planks and shit on a mat.... next to the squat rack. She would glance. I would glance. We would catch each other glancing. She would point her butt in my direction during every exercise. I think she was ovulating.

This girl was T H I C C. And not fat too. Proportions in all the right places. And best of all, I had seen her before. She was in one of my classes. I had plausible deniability.

I had never hit on a girl at the gym before, but I wasn't about to hamster myself into not doing so. I caught that shit early and just went for the approach. She was way too hot to regret passing up anyway.

It went magically. Like any textbook youtube approach could go. Hair twirling, laughing too hard at the jokes, fidgeting, giving me her number, fucking me a week later.

Well you know how it goes.

(2)Italian 10

Yeah you're all gonna give me shit for this because 10s dont exist bla bla ba, but man, I have a 10 category, and this girl was firmly in it. Hey, maybe I just have a thing for platinum blonde Italian 18 year olds with lots of ass.

This one "opened" me. I'm doing pulls ups. Taking my 1 min break and pacing around like an autist (I can't stand still or diddle on a phone I lose hype). She saunters in, removes her headphones and asks if I'm using the Lat Pulldown machine next to her. I say "no. go ahead" and ignore her.

The pullups continue. I only had 2 sets left but bumped it to 5 so the girl didn't think I was lazy and also so I could ogle her more. This girl was just so HOT and she knew it. I was staring and she knew it. She just played on her phone.

Eventually it was too late. I had remained paralyzed by the siren for too long. I had missed the window and now she thinks I'm lame. Or so I hamstered. I pussied out. It doesn't happen often, but it still does. A whole host of factors come into play. I felt skinny and weak. She was too hot. I was tired and near the end of my workout. She was too hot. I had never successfully approached and banged a 10 sober. She was too hot.

I finished my sets and left.

In the changing room I sat for a while hating myself for missing another easy opportunity. It would not have been hard to talk to her. She seemed open to it. Nothing was stopping me. Yet I still didn't do it.

I dressed and left in a dark mist of regret and self-hate.

I fill up my bottle, say bye to the girl at reception, and see the blonde Italian girl leaving just as I am.

Bam. Second opportunity. I'll never get another one. And I cannot pussy out again.

Behold, the actual conversation, call bullshit all you want, but I'm a smooth fucker now, I've had practice.

"Hi"

She looks at me oddly. "Hi"

"What's your name"

"Um Luciana, you"

"I'm Heathcliff"

She mispronounces it but that's okay.

"I don't normally do this really but you're just too pretty I couldn't not talk to you" -I'm ramping up the ~bashful~ here.

She giggles and says "thanks".

"I would have talked to you earlier but just a bit sweaty you know..."

She laughs again. I think I got it.

We chat for a bit more, exchange usual small talk pleasantries, majors, ages, ethnicities etc.

Then comes the time to bounce; it's been almost 2 whole minutes! Way too long. I'm a busy man you see. I gotta go to the library and study you see. I tell her this.

"We should see each other again. When are you next at the gym?" (Best way to set up this date, we have something common and it's familiar turf. Don't jump to the fucking nightclubs right away idiots)

"Um idk I'm kinda random with it". Ofc she is....

"Well let me get your number then and we can sort it out"

"Whatsapp?" she says.... why do girls always do this....????

But I fucked up. I kind of panicked. I didn't take her number. I gave her mine instead. I put it in her phone and left. And then I realise.

I don't have any way to contact her.

There's no way this girl is gonna make the first move over text. She has literal miles of dick queuing up for her.

It's already over. I fucked up again. My Luciana lost, no ficky ficky for me. Despair.

For a while I was about to get all angry at myself, about to beat myself up about fumbling yet again, for the 1000th time now.... but then my little Marcus Aurelius, the Directing Mind, caught me.

"Hey, you spoke to her. You got over your approach anxiety. And she was receptive to your advance. You did well, so what if you fucked it up at the end, can't change that now, and at least you know you can do it again for next time."

And so I had a spring in my step the rest of the day.

Thanks Directing Mind.

I put the girl out of my mind completely. Knowing I would never see her again. I learnt a good lesson from it though, but that's all it was going to be.

Until, 2 days later. I get a whatsapp message with 3 thumbs up emojis. The DP, an Italian girl in a dress sprawled on the hood of a car.

Holy shit.

The universe rewards me.

(3) The Nuclear

5/3/1 deload week. I'm benching. Not particularly sore and could probably lift more but I do what the program tells me to do.

In comes a blonde american girl. Good kind of skinny and curved, flat chested; pretty though, but with mad resting bitch face and a general "fuck off" aura.

However, I know this girl. She's in one of my classes. And friends with one of my friends to boot. Won't get a better opening than that.

I've actually seen this girl at the uni gym pretty frequently, and we've pretty much ignored each other. She seems pissed off by my presence, and I've been too scared to talk to her. It's just the high maintenance vibe man. Feels like she'll eat me after sex.

Well not this time. I've vowed to myself to no longer pussy out with approaching and at this point I'm riding on some pretty great recent victory waves.

This time though, we're not alone. It's the lifting area, the other bench is being used by the resident loud dudebros that I'm only on acquaintance terms with. They're bigger than me. Others are dotted around too.

She bounces in, struts around for a bit, her ass swaying in all the right ways. All eyes in that basement tracked the movement of those shorts and I'm pretty sure some new PRs were broken that day. I slyly add some more weight to the bar...

And most attractive of all. She was doing real exercises. When she put the bar down and started deadlifting I knew I had to speak to her.

Her stance was very wide as I watched her. Too wide for a conventional deadlift. Was she doing sumos? Maybe? Would it be bad for me to assume she's just doing deads wrong and interrupt her in order to correct her stance? Of course. Am I going to do it anyway? Definitely, it's the only opener I have right now and I learnt the hard way you gotta act quickly.

"Your legs don't have to be so far apart you know"

(wow what a line. either complete genius or utter stupidity.)

"what?" she says? and removes her headphones.

I repeat the damn line. The rest of the weight room are sneaking glances at us.

"But it's sumos" she says.

Fuck.

"oh so you know what you're doing... I'm Heath by the way"

"I know" she says. Interesting.... Seems I'm a bit more popular than I thought. The dudebros are now deathstaring us.

We small talk for a bit, and she's polite and friendly, but I don't want to hang around too long, so tell her I will return to my bench.

When I get there, my plates have gone. The bottle left on the bench (ancient gym code for brb) is still there. The salty betas stole my plates.

I smiled and reloaded. This is something I will have to get used to.

Eventually I finish my set and decided to talk to the pretty girl again. Mainly to say bye because I feel like that's polite etiquette with people you know, but also to taunt the betas a bit more because why not.

She's just started a set. I don't want to interrupt her. I wait. I admire her form. Someone taught this girl how to lift. Swole boyfriend probably. Good on him.

She quits mid set and gets up.

"What?!!?" she spits at me. Seething venom in her tone. Death in her eyes.

Wow. This went 180 real quick.... (Is it possible?...)

"I came to say bye...." I fumble out feebly. She took me off guard.

"What??" she says again, angrier, more indignant. (It could be...)

She didn't hear me. Cringe.

"I came to say bye"

"Bye." she says. In this most fuckoff way you can imagine. (No way... it is).

"wow ok..". I reply. My frame suddenly returns. I look her in the eyes and I see it.

The penetrative hate stare of The Borderline.

She saw right through me in seconds... and turned on me viciously.

Undeniably Borderline. I've experienced these girls before. Wild, beautiful, erratic, exuberant, powerful and dangerous. An almost autistic level of emotional intelligence, manipulation that would make old man Machiavelli cry, and an existential need to destroy everything around them.

Who cares if these personality diagnoses are real or whether they're psycho-gibberish, this archetype of girl exists; they all manifest the same behaviours and fuck you better than your fantasies.

I turn around and leave. She calls after me "Dont bother me while I'm exercising' or something like that.

I keep walking. The other guys are sniggering.

I sit in the changing rooms for a while in humiliation, then stand under a cold shower.

Fuck. A borderline.

My greatest weakness.

Like an addict, I had another taste and it fucked me up good.

And now I need another line.

I'll end it here, gonna wake up the girl with some dick in her face because I wrote myself into horny. She'll be happy about it too. Probably.

I'll try to write more posts, I have a lot I want to say, but no promises they'll stick around for long.

And yes, there's more to the story with these girls... they may pop up in future threads.

Thanks for reading,

Heath

Edit:

Some clarifcations because we're getting some sperg comments.

  1. I am attractive. How you read this post really depends on how you imagine the protagonist. I can get away with a lot of "creepy" shit because I lift and have frame. Girls stare at me on public transport.

  2. As stressed in this post. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL WOMEN. I emphasise that you should only approach girls that are giving you clear signals at the gym, and that there are girls there that are open to being approached and you can pick them out easily. Problem for many of you guys is that you can't pick up on the IOIs so never believe these girls exist.

  3. It is normal at my gym for people to talk to each other, give advice and have conversations at. Its a university after all. I have good rapport at my gym and have been going there for 3 years. If i was some newbie, I would be much more hesitant to be so forward. The number of smokeshows is high too, yet so is their turnover... They never stick around for long (gotta catch em while they're hot).

  4. Fuck following the rules to a T. It's always arbitrary and situation dependent. If I stuck hard to the "never hit on girls at the gym" rule, I would have significantly fewer great lays, and fun experiences with pretty and intelligent girls. So maybe getting shot down a few times and embarassing myself is worth it, who cares?

Some of you are just too scared to approach and use these dogmatic rules as buffers to rationalise failure.