Well - that was annoying. This serves as a guidepost for those arriving at TRP with Oneitis.

Dated a girl for 5 months. Coupled up for 8 months in an exclusive relationship (I asked), with the last month where she had already moved on / was cheating.

Took me 3.5 months to get here. Now thoroughly in the acceptance phase. I went through every single one of the five stages of grief. The biggest surprise there for me was depression towards the end. 2 months out - why was I getting fucking sadder? Not fun.

I've had sex with 5 girls post break up. First two were repeats from my old stable in NYC. 3 newbies (1 from Bumble, 2 from Hinge). I don't have time to go out very much right now as my business is launching, so apps provide a good way to meet girls for me at 34 years old while not investing too much time.

I've got a girl in the stable now in LA, with another applicant in the pipeline. I overcame LMR with the first when I removed my shirt and she visibly lost control (this was a new psychological experience).

I'm trying to think if there's anything I could've done to speed up the process of getting over Oneitis. Probably sleeping with more girls sooner.

What I did well (that I can recommend)

  • Lifting
  • Eating right / not drinking
  • Meditating - which I started doing almost daily
  • Monk mode - taking some time away from social activities to rebuild your core. If Oneitis impacted you like it impacted me, your operating system feels exposed so there's some time needed to zip that up.
  • Journaling - good opportunity to reflect on my actions and help internalize the new red pill truths
  • Reading the sidebar - it was honestly so relieving to know that this experience was not some unique misfortune. There was comfort knowing that the process, while painful, is natural. The Manipulated Man I actually don't think gets enough love on this sub - and that book rocked my world.

Things I don't recommend (or at least didn't work for me)

  • Therapy - yeah I cried a bit which actually kind of feels good. But now that I'm sensitive to BP thinking - it's difficult for me to trust someone who still believes in the matrix of feminine primary thinking

What I'm most proud of - not contacting my Oneitis after the break up. That was very, very difficult. And I've done some challenging things in my life. But emotional difficulty is a whole different ballgame. My body was VERY addicted to my last partner. And it took a while for my body to adjust to the dopamine withdrawal. Rough stuff.

I'm a classic - raised by strong mother, indoctrinated into BP thinking in Massachusetts, going to an elite Catholic college where I even took a feminist class to help expand my world view (shakes head). Definitely "ego invested" in blue pill thinking (h/t Rational Male). I'll be reading and internalzing red pill philosophy for some time. These ideas are still "radical" vs where I came from.

If you're new to TRP after coming here from Oneitis - keep your chin up. Time will heal you - just keep working on yourself. Because you are awesome.