Got infatuated with a girl at work (large company) before I discovered TRP.
We started out as friends, but as time progressed she started flirting with me. I asked her out and she said she was still getting over someone (mutual acquiantence that works with us; she'd been seeing for 3 months), but claimed she was interested in me. She set that hook real well.
A month passes and we begin spending more time together. I'm thinking that since I made my intentions known, she wouldn't be wasting my time like this if it wasn't going to go somewhere.
But a month passes and I raise the topic again. Again, she says she really cares about me; that if only the circumstances were different we could try. But she is scared of getting hurt by someone from work again, because she hates having to see him all over the place as a constant reminder. (Oh, the irony.)
So I swallow my second helping of spoon-fed bullshit with gusto. I tell her I'm going to get a little distance from her to get over my feelings so we can continue to be friends. I really believed that was something you could do.
After a couple weeks, we start hanging out again. She is more reserved, like it was in the beginning. No more physical flirting from her for a couple weeks. Then the behavior comes back in full, and my head goes right back to the clouds.
The breaking point
I finally confess to her that I wasn't over her and really hoped we could try something. She confesses to me that she's been seeing someone the last several weeks but has been keeping it a secret. She tells me that she understands if I need some space, and that she's really sorry.
I snapped and discovered TRP after I found out the guy she was seeing was from work. Despite suddenly being violently thrust into the anger phase, I play it cool, as it's a workplace situation. I tell her that yes, I do think I'll be needing this space after all. Told her "I don't think it's healthy to be spending time with someone I have feelings for."
Which is true. Just knowing you are being affected by infatuation does not allow you to stop the way you feel overnight. It may have been pretty weak to have told her I had feelings for her, but it seemed like the best way to get her to leave me alone without getting dramatic.
Either way, I went hard on Tinder, banged an average chick to get it out of my system and began my monk mode/further engagement with TRP as it was now clear that I needed to change/deprogram.
I stick to my conviction. No contact with her at all. I stopped thinking about her as much, or as frequently, and things were fine.
Two months pass this way without her trying to contact me, until one day I get a hand written note from her saying she missed me and hopes we can hang out again soon.
I'm not falling for that shit again. I ignore it.
Two weeks pass, then one day she comes to my desk and starts chatting. I'm not being very engaging, but she asks if we can talk. So again, this time in person, I give her the same line as before: I don't think it's good for me to hang out with her while I still have feelings for her, so I'd appreciate it if she stopped trying to hang out again.
But is that the end of it? No. The very next week she comes by again! I can tell how bad she wants me to orbit again, but I'm not falling for it. Would still bang her if I got a chance, but I'm under no delusions. I look at her seriously and say "I told you it hurts me to see you while I'm still attracted to you, and we agreed not to hang out. Has something changed?"
She replies "no, I'm just going through some hard times right now and wanted a friend. Sorry, I'll try not to again." Wrong answer sweetie, the only thing that gets me back now is an invitation to play doctor. She slinks away with shame on her face.
I've had to give her 3 warnings, each increasingly more brusque. The solipsism is strong in this one.
She was and is totally willing to trade my happiness for her sadness. If she really cared about me as she claimed, then she wouldn't do something that I repeatedly told her was painful to me. She considered herself entitled to my time and directly violated my requests to leave me alone.
Girls that put you in the friendzone actually care about you in much the same way as they care about a puppy. They like you because you give them constant attention on demand.