I've finally done it. I've managed to put into words and metaphor an idea I've had brewing for a long time. Were going to talk about curing the number one thing that holds dudes back with women: approach anxiety.
Vulnerability and the Zero Sum Game
Before we can cure approach anxiety we have to understand why you feel it. The only reason guys have approach anxiety is because they feel vulnerable when going up to a woman at first. And lets be honest, if you don't know what you're doing and just hoping it will work out, YOU ARE VULNERABLE. Guys will try to "psych themselves out of it" and trick their brain into not being anxious but THIS DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN HAS A GOOD REASON TO BE ANXIOUS. If you go up to that girl incorrectly, and she decides to humiliate you, she can, and I see it happen all the time. Many Women actually get a kick out of doing this. So how do you defend yourself? Go into all approaches with a zero sum mindset. A zero sum game is one where there is only one winner, anything that helps your opponent hurts you. Think of chess. You are not in this to help women, but you are also not necessarily in it to hurt women, you are simply oblivious to what effect it has on the woman and focused solely on your own interests. Many so called "guru's" will tell you to go into an interaction with women with a "win-win" mindset. To the newbie starting out not only is this unhelpful but its actually DETRIMENTAL to his success because all hes gonna go in as is a nice guy and then when the average cunty chick shuts him down he has absolutely no response. He walks away defeated and crushed. It affects his state as much as he tries and denies it, as much as he trys to sour grape his way out of it saying "I wouldnt want her anyways". This is toxic and something must be DONE!
3 Options and 3 Responses
Look, there are 3 options you and the girl have when going into an interaction: Nice, Neutral, Mean. Never go into a cold approach nice unless you've already mastered what I'm talking about. Its always safest to go in neutral. Its like chess, you are neither overextending yourself nor are you not being aggressive enough, it is perfectly balanced. What do I mean by neutral "Hey hows it going?" Keep it simple. What you say doesnt matter as long as its neutral. Youre just moving the chess pieces forward preparing for the endgame (fucking her).
Now here's why you wont have any more approach anxiety: THE GIRL ONLY HAS THOSE THREE OPTIONS and you will already have a strategic response for each. Its so fucking simple when you break it down like this...
Green light (nice): easy to work with, youve somehow managed to stumble upon a girl who is being genuinely nice. This is a layup, continue pumping her state, then escalate, isolate and close.
Yellow light (neutral): smartest move on her part and pretty common. It doesnt help you but it doesnt hurt you, biggest thing you have to watch out for is the interaction becoming boring because you're both being so neutral, so after she responds back neutral you need to say or do something slightly outlandish (could be just by escalating) but with plausible deniability such that you POLARIZE and then pressure her on which ever side she decides to take. You are forcing her to take a stance on what you said or did (either green light or red), making her react TO YOU and then you pressure her on that reaction. If she goes to green then fine, you can continue pumping the vibe and then isolate and close like you would with green. If she goes red then you hold frame and call her out. When you push this "line", you expose her vulnerabilities and thereby display your dominance and power. Attraction ensues, isolate, polarize more, and close.
Red Light (Cunt): This is what dudes are so afraid of but to me its actually one of the funnest "lines" to play. And if youre having fun, then chances are your play will improve. The girl has just put herself into a vulnerable position because she was betting you wouldn't do what I'm going to tell you to do because she thinks youre a pussy and will back down. But youre not a pussy because you listened to what SWTDO told you and you learned to fucking slay with women, especially the cunty ones who want to be dominated. All you have to do here is hold frame and call her out. Thats it, do not deviate from the fact that you a decent person, just walked up to have a friendly conversation and now she met that neutral friendliness with unnecessary cuntiness. Whats the frame that youre holding? "I am an attractive guy that is offering something (social interaction, sexual interaction, conversation) to this girl in a socially acceptable way". So you were justified in approaching her, you dont have to apologize for being social and talking to any girl. Dont let them try and make you think this. So how do you call her out? An example would be a quick quip that exploits one of her weaknesses, while also reinforcing the fact that she was rude. "And thats why youre single sweetie." Or if shes late twenties or older, bring up her age while maintaining she was rude, "I know they say old women are shrill but I didn't believe them until now." Try it or something similar and hold frame, they will REACT SO HARD. If they are outraged, good youre winning, they are once again going to overextend and you can take advantage of this tactically. Chess metaphor starting to make sense? Its a lot easier to turn anger into attraction than it is to turn indifference into attraction. Furthermore when they are angry it is a perfect opportunity to show your high value by holding frame in the face of their tantrum, finding it funny like shes a cute little kid and continuing to fuck with her. "Aww, youre too easy to mess with..."